Love, or Pride?

you know wad? i'm prolly moving on to wordpress.. heh! after spending my morning updating and customizing it to satisfaction.. i tink i'm ready for a new home.. and well.. heh.. i guess in more ways than one, tt's signifcant (:

so long blogger! and welcome to a new place for my thots and updates (: heh heh..

keep reading me at

http://www.karinana.wordpress.com

where i promise will be more pics and wacky things to tantalize the senses (i hope i can deliver on the second one tho.. heh!)

see u there!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 5/19/2007 12:40:00 PM .

for everybody's info.. i've set up another blog portal here at www.karinana.wordpress.com so if you don't find any entries/updates here.. its prolly gonna be there.. heh..

anwyays.. i'm feeling really really bad abt whad happened ytd.. jus read a fren's blog.. and he said he was angry..

here's what happpened.. remember i was talking abt my bad stomach upset the night before? well, that basically put me out for hte whole day but i went to work anyway cuz hte pain was bearable.. but tt really precluded me from going out after work or eating rich food.. cuz wad i needed was jus good ol' plain plain food. and i actually sent a msg to him in the morn.. but apparently the msg didn't get thru (AAAAGH!!)

the result? he waited for me for almost an hour at one of hte most maddening times ever! oh gosh.. and because i concussed on my mum's bed the soonest i finished half my bowl of soup, i didn't hear any smses or calls and i couldn't pick it up..

i felt and am stilling feeling terribly bad! i've never done this before in my entire life! and i dun intend to make it a habit.. gosh.. i actually cried a bit while i was on the phone cuz i felt so bad.. plus my stomach was jus acting up again.. and eveyrthing jus came in at the wrong time.. i was grumpy and not a very happy camper.. gargh..

anyways to the person, if he's reading.. i'm terribly terribly sorry and i said i'll make it up to you? i will.. its jus not me to say i'll turn up and not turn up without telling you (or anybody for that matter) anything..

i keep on walking took her pride away at 5/19/2007 10:30:00 AM .

heh.. i live a slack slack life here in the office (: can u believe that i'm actually done with my paper? and its a whole whopping 4,000 + words.. haven't typed stuff in single space for a long time.. for essays that is.. blogs aren't counted.. so seeing like 13/14 pages of single spaced typed stuff is really really miraculous.. and a lot of summary power.. heh!

i actually like how i did the recommendations and all.. and i guess doing up the case studies and kinda digesting the info did help me with it.. and then i really thank God for the brainwave to check up on STOMP for youth ideas on 'drugs', 'drug abuse' etc etc.. u get the pic.. and yeaah.. managed to flesh out a fuller pic on what youth attitudes generally are la.. hee.. so i'm quite happy abt tt..

now i tink i'm left with the formatting ba.. appendices and referencing.. and probably the executive summary bit.. i tk i'll be doing quite a bit of those (: oh well.. as least i'm done with the main thing.. the whole content bit.. which reminds me.. i shld like mail it to myself so that it won't get lost if my comp decides to crash on me.. heh..

and my tummy still feels weird from last nite.. tho its like its achey.. but not enough for me to run to the toilet or call in sick..

really thank God for this nice canteen auntie today tho.. i asked for porridge cuz i wanted something plain.. but i didn't realize tht it had to be with other food items.. so i didn't want it and proceeded to get some plain bread or bao or something la. den the lady realized i wanted to eat qing1 dan4 stuff (loosely translate to: light and plain) and she said she'd make me noodles.. haha macam mother like tt rite? anyways.. tt was jus the meal i needed.. and i tk i'm blessed cuz i ate the last bowl available.. heh! (: thank you Daddy for alwys taking care of me.. hee

and i'm glad i ate that cuz my tummy's beginning to growl a bit.. heh! but i tk its from looking at the lovely lovely muffins that this person makes (remember the link i posted?) yeaaaaah! i'm so so tempted to order some man.. like jus order for my family and everything.. this kinda thing i dun mind splurging one.. heh heh! (:

its like a hobby now man.. looking at cupcakes.. heh! now jus waiting for time to pass la.. 45mins till knock off time! heeeeeeee..weekend! with nothing to do! YAY

i keep on walking took her pride away at 5/18/2007 04:40:00 PM .

aack.. alright, i'm now sitting at my office desk.. typing this blog entry and hmm.. actually i dun feel as zonked as i should be! hahaha (:

but yesh, i'm supposed to be feeling zonked cuz last nite i had a terrible stomach upset.. and even tho i ate roti prata the night before with the tpjc gang, i know it wasn't the pratas cuz i felt the stomach pains thru the day.. i jus thank God that He planned it such that i only really gave way (heh!) when i was back home, safe.. living in the north.. heh..

and i know the culprit of my stomach ache is .... the sandwich from Cheers!! garrrgh.. and it cost so much too.. oh sigh

nvm ba.. at least i feel better today.. last nite was quite terrible tho.. thank God i didn't have to keep running to the toilet.. but it was really quite pain.. aiyohhh.. and my mummy had to help me rub some ointment on my tummy.. and i guess that made it a whole lot better (: but i had a good sleep la to say the least.. prob cuz i was tired out and jus plain relieved that it was all over.. heh heh..

so today i'm on a plain and simple diet.. which suits me fine.. i like eating simple.. but as a result i've had to postpone (not cancel ar) my dinner with jacob today.. sorry dude!!! nvm.. there's always next week.. hee!

aaaand today's friday! whee.. 530pm can go home lo.. heh heh.. and the amazing thing about today is also that i can actually access my gmail and yahoo!! woooohoooooo.. i tk that's been abt the only things that i've been bugged abt the internet access here.. heh.. i tink wad i'll do is i'll jus clsoe all internet windows during lunch time so that they dun tink i'm doing some illegal download over lunch.. i tk that's why they block websites in the first place.. heh..

anyways it was super fun meeting up with the jc gang.. hee! i miss em and i'm honestly so glad for their frenship and company (: needless to say we went crazy last nite and i tk we were probably the noisiest group at casurina curry, the bus stop, the bus, the interchange, amk hub.. aiyah.. everywhere la! (: and we were superbly trigger-happy.. with the camera that is.. so we snapped a lot of pictures.. heh! waiting for em now so as soon as i get em.. they'll be up here! wheeee...

internship-wise.. everything's going alright.. i'm 70% thru, material-wise.. jus need to get em in the write forms and all.. and well.. keep checking that i'm doing as much as i can for the paper.. tho i'm actually quite confused abt the length/amt their expecting.. heh! i look at their concept papers (that's wad they call em here) and they're less than 4 pages full and brief.. but yet the other day my big boss said she expected thesis size.. so wad do i do neh??

i tink i'll break the paper up into parts ba.. heh.. like mini-concept papers combining into one big study.. heh.. i tk tt'll be most palatable for my supervisor since she's the one going thru em.. heh! (:

aiites.. back to work!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 5/18/2007 09:29:00 AM .

now that i'm online for most part of my day, i've resorted to entertaining myself with the latest updates and news online.. i'm even reading TodayOnline k.. and tt hasn't been the case since i left youth.sg where that was done for work purposes.. heh!

anyways two pieces of news kinda caught my eye -

1. a baby drop-off point for abandoned babies
but apparently some father dropped his TODDLER (3 yrs old mind you) into this drop-off point!! and there's some kinda outrage over in japan right now about the trauma that it could cause for children that age and abt a misuse of the drop-off point.

now i dunno about you, but i tink the idea of a drop-off point kinda encourages abandonment don't you think? i mean.. its done with the best of intentions, but hmm.. doesn't it provide an easy way out? i still think pp should be watching for these 'drop-offs' rather than it being done anonymously like what it is now.. and who's to say about the trauma for babies and toddlers? maybe babies as much trauma as the toddlers and the worst thing would be them growing up not knowing that they experienced that subconscious trauma waaaay back when they were jus born? i'm always one to say that even when the baby's in the womb, it can feel and sense love/hate as much as anybody would be able to..

2. scientists have discover a planet that's covered in 'hot ice' aka 'what should be liquid/gas but isn't'
and it's situated near a very old star that's turned red alr.. and the water that's present on the surface of the planet is actually held as a solid cuz of the immense pressure that surrounds it. so its interesting eh? pressure can actually make things stay solid.

problem i have with this report and i guess for most astronomic studies is that a lot of it is based on guesswork but people just cling on to em as truth jus cuz it bears a scientific nature. and somehow people just pick up the facts and ignore the probabilities of these facts being wrong down the road.. so yaaa.. i tk science is an ideology on its own la.. it ain't as straightforward as what people make it out to be heh!

oh gosssh.. i sound so cynical in this blog post eh?! aiyaah.. jus being a critical thinker la.. seldom do this but well.. its a part of me somehow, somewhere.. hahaha! most of the time i'm jus beembotic la (:

and i tink i overstretched/tore a muscle on my left thigh leh.. its been pain ever since i did the dance for church during christmas.. oh gosh.. cuz now its aching a lil probably from the dance class last nite when we did some stretching.. gargh..

noooOOOoo.. i wanna be well! i wan my leg to be okay.. -whines-

oh oh oh.. change topic yar.. if you're interested in cupcakes and u like eating em or are considering giving em as presents.. check this site out.. heh!

www.cupcake-momma.net

good stuff!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 5/17/2007 09:26:00 AM .

wheeee... ytd was a pretty good day at work.. heh! and i tink i'm more or less settling in to being in a job and being here at office. for one, i dun tink i'm experiencing the "face-computer-for-too-long" symptoms like i did back at mcys.. soo tt's a good sign.. hahah terrible thing is, i'm counting down to the day my internship ends.. haha i know.. its horribly piggy of me since it isn't because i hate the place but its jus cuz i'm lazy and i wanna sleep in and enjoy my hols.. heh!

met up with the interns for lunch ytd and heh.. wad can i say? put a few students together and you get a party :P heh heh.. esp when u have interesting characters arn.. i was telling em abt how my itnernet access got barred on monday evening and i got reaaaally paranoid cuz i thot i got caught and somehow every website tt i went to got blocked.. but turns out, its some timed shut down thingie at 545pm eveyrday.. guess its to curb illegal downloads overnight since internet here is superbly smooth/fast/better than home.

anyways, i told em and heh.. the same thing happened to all of us ytd, like at 545 the internet got blocked and all of em got paranoid, till i told them about this possibility. hahah we were all so freaked out cuz we were doing things like erhem.. ebuddy aka msn and for another one, she was doing online shopping! hahaha so u see.. guilt-ridden.. tt's why we thot we were bring watched.. tsk tsk

everything's alright so far.. made some calls ytd and i'm proud of myself -beams- cuz i've never done anything like calling sla or companies regarding renting event space.. so tt's really cool la.. and i also wrote an ad for one of the publications to be published on anti-drug day.. so wheee! ytd was fruitful.. and research wise.. i've kinda found more info so i'll jus set out doing my report today if there isn't any pressing need for anything.. tt's the best part about this job.. really thank God for bringing me here.. its really new and yeah.. an interesting change i guess (: He's really like showing me all facets of worklife somehow.. so tt's cool.. i can't think how blessed i am!

aaaaaaaand hopefully i'll be at dance dance DANCE later.. heh.. :P tt's if i dun get too lazy tt is.. muahahaha

and should i go to the himalayas this july?? i'm free for it but hmm.. do i wan to be doing something else with my time? would i have the finances? guess i'll jus have to think it thru..

oh oh.. and i'm aware of how short this internship is man.. its only gonna be 40 days at work.. gosh........ and for me maybe 35, since i'm going for church camp.. oh wait.. make that 34 since one day's taken off for a ministry-visit/fieldtrip thingie..

woaaaaaah...

i keep on walking took her pride away at 5/16/2007 09:03:00 AM .

heh.. well.. i'm finally back here blogging after a long long hiatus (: well.. okay, maybe not that long.. but heh.. long enough! its been a week or so and i haven been updating cuz well.. my house is having its kitchen wall hacked down and everything's had to shift to accomodate the dust and err.. other stuff.. its like a ripple/butterfly effect you know.. heh!

anyways i've started my internship with CNB.. heh.. and yes, i've gotten over the shock of having the HR person call me and say "this is CNB" like i've jus confessed to illegal drug possession or something. and friday was well... Eventful.

we first had our SIP opening ceremony where we met our supervisors and all.. as well as the rest of the interns who were going to the same ministries as us.. heh.. clever pp.. and i also found out to my horror that i was gonna be separated from farahrah and parvin not jus in terms of departments but location too!!! cuz we're all under MHA, whom i tink is the major employer this time round.. and i thot all this while that i'd be with MHA HQ aka at novena aka five stops from my place aka more sleeping time. u get the pic rite? but turns out i'm at cantonment instead which is at outram.. and its super near the police complex.. soooooo.. wad can i say? i'm either superbly protected or reallllly at risk here (: but its all good.. i'm actually quite glad its here cuz it'll give me more motivation to go for dance after work instead of jus heading home since home's more along the way and err.. well.. travelling down from novena would take some serious instinct-reversal processes..

another surprise from friday with regards to work was also the fact that i found out i was gonna be in a diff place from where the rest of the 'research' interns were.. cuz i'd be helping out with the anti-drug campaign that's gonna be real intensive come june-july.. so yeah! i'm quite glad about that.. cuz i know i'm gonna learn super much and i know i won't be bored at least.. heh! oh.. whoops.. den wad am i doing here eh? (btw i'm blogging at work!!!) but the good thing is... i've got my own cubicle so i gues there's a lot more privacy here.. heh! jus hope i dun alienate myself cuz i've got my own space..

met the temp girls too.. and they're reaaaaally nice!! (: i feel so old tho, cuz they're gonna be entering uni and here i am.. third yr and going fourth.. gosh.. this is so so so so weird!

everybody here's pretty nice (: but heh.. definitely a lot more serious than mcys.. so heh.. shall watch and see how things are like here a bit..

okaais.. out!!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 5/14/2007 09:02:00 AM .

My cool celebrity look-alike collage from MyHeritage.com. Get one for yourself.

i keep on walking took her pride away at 5/03/2007 10:42:00 PM .

title: moving out part 2

well oh well, ytd was the day when everything got shifted out of my lil ol room.. the place i've come to call home for the past year, although i have been living with my mum for most of the weekends and sometimes thru the week too.. hee.. but i couldn't help but feel a prick of sentimentalism or maybe hmm.. nostalgia (tho' it really seems too recent to have tt feeling) as i was packing up my stuff (i didn't realize how much i had!) and the room began to look like how it did when i first moved in.

heh! i still remembered when i first moved in. i remember walking in with the Resident Asst and first asking how to open the door, lock it etc and den hoping and praying that i didn't get a bad room.. u know, like with creaking doors, a bad table and wad not.. u know, like ur room from hell or something to that effect. hahaha! well, that room's turned into more than a place i stay in. it was where i did all my requisite studying.. working on papers late into the night.. and also the place where i truly experienced God in my life. it was where i could be myself, where i could cry if i was sad.. where i could laugh my head off at all the free-to-air telly there was on NUSCast (eveyr hostelite's best fren i must say!). yeah.. room 416 was more than a place for physical rest.. it was Home during those trying times. and to think i almost didn't get it till i received an email in june during my internship at Youth.SG. who'd have thot it was God's divine intervention and hand of preparation for what was up ahead on the home scene.. at the end of the journey.. i'm jus Thankful. (:

still.. packing and the unpacking later is still a pain in the neck (: thank God i'm only doing this 2 times.. once when i moved in.. and now when i'm moving out or rather.. mov-ed out. heh! some pics for the memories.. for those who want to see what my room looked like before i stripped it of my stuff, can go to the post written in the month of August, late July. heh!

my room, with all the lil plastic bags filled with the stuff that made my room mine.. heh!

shelves empty of notes and stuff

my bed.. or rather.. wad used to be my bed with the sheets now off

the lil things that made my day and picked me up when i was down. these lil encouragement notes kept me going and they hung proudly on my noticeboard all yr round! (:

goodbye room 416! its been an awesome journey (:

And of cuz, with the end of exams for the sem, its time to let my hair down and relax a lil.. so here's indulging in a bit of celluloid fiction.. heh! checking out the latest movies in town.. oh gosh.. i'm SO gonna catch all the wonderful movies coming out this hols.. heh! i need a movie night every week! anybody care to be my movie buddy? :P

yaaaay! Johnny Depp rocks! (:

and i'm fat.. really really.. i need to get my butt moving again!!! dance.. here i come!!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 5/03/2007 09:35:00 PM .

one more paper to go!!

and i feel like its alr the end of the exams.. wahahahah! (: but bahasa is one paper i'd gladly take.

and i'm jus so sure that God was with me during the exams today.. no stress at all.. and i realize why i had to go thru the 'torture' of the first two papers which i felt i'd totally screwed up..

the Desert Experience

a time when the loyalties of my heart are revealed for what they are. and i'm glad that today i went in with my heart facing God.. its like i jus knew that He'd provide at the point of time.. and today's paperi s the most theoretically heavy one.. like we had to study abtou 13 theorists regarding religion.. and the exam was actually quite fun.. heh heh! (: considering that i didn't hv time to study at all on sat and sun till at night.. i tk God was really the one paving the way for me man..

and i'm really enjoying my room man: this lil humble abode i've been keeping for the past yr.. its been great jus having it and i'm so so blessed that God provided it at the right time. i'm officially movign out on thur/friday when its back home for me and goodbye to the place that was my refuge in the storm (tho of cuz... Jesus was the reason why it turned out that way)

great day.. had a nap and a shower (woohoo!) and gonna get ready to go out to meet jie.. and to all.. yesh.. i'm sunburnt from saturday's wild wild wet.. had one of the best days of my life jus letting loose and hanging out with my church family.. heee! (:

tmr... karaoke with mum's side of the family where i can see my baby teng again!!! aaaand den soup restaurant dinner with everybody together with sis and al to celebrate sister's bday(: her bday's on the 3rd!!! heeeeee..

aiites gtg!!

i keep on walking took her pride away at 4/30/2007 04:08:00 PM .