Isn't it Time You Kissed a Toad?

In less than 30 days, FROGGY STYLE will be released. In honor of that, I'm going to give away some cash (okay, a gift card of your choosing), and lots of other semi-lame prizes like ebooks, book-books, and a super special prize of being in my next book (not literally, even if you beg I refuse to drain your blood and use it as ink, so quit asking). But I will name a character after you (or anyone you want) as well as use some personality traits/quirks/kinks. So all of your friends can laugh and jeer you at odd times.

Anyway, to win this amazing prize or prizes, you simply need to sign over your soul. Like you're using it....

I'm running two contests. Please pass it along to your friends, relatives, and enemies. Here are the details for each:

FROGGY STYLE:  Kissing a Frog Sweepstakes

Want to win a fabulous vacation to a tropical island? Or how about a brand new car? If so, I suggest you enter the Publishers Clearing House. If you want to win a semi-cool prize like a $100 gift card to Amazon (or the gift card of your choice) or better yet, infamy when a character based on you (or the person of your choice) appears in book three of the F***ed-Up Fairy Tale series, enter the Kissing a Frog Sweepstakes in honor of the release of the irreverent fairy tale novel FROGGY STYLE. 

It’s easy, mostly painless, and now wart-free.

Enter today at www.jakazimer.com.

Sweepstakes ends March 30, 2013.

Kissing a Frog Photo Contest

Are you adorable? Scratch that. Are you willing to embarrass yourself for cash? Then the Kissing a Frog Contest is for you. Take your best digital pic of you/your sister/your grandma/your next door neighbor/your parrot kissing a frog (whether it is an actual frog or a stuffed one, or even your dog in animal drag), and upload it to your facebook/twitter/instagram with the hashtag: #FroggyStyle or send it to jkazimer@msn.com to enter. 

Photos will be displayed on author’s website/social media. 

Prizes include a $50 gift card, books, ebooks, and toy frogs.

Contest ends March 30, 2013.

Win a Copy of FROGGY STYLE!

Want to win a Advance Reader Copy of FROGGY STYLE?

It's easy.

You can enter by clicking LIKE on my author page at j.a. kazimer on facebook at (http://www.facebook.com/pages/ja-kazimer/173802705980439) or by signing up for my e-newsletter at http://www.jakazimer.com/contact/newsletter.

I'll draw the winner randomly on December 23rd!

New Never City's Top Villain Contest

by j.a. kazimer

Are you evil to the core? Does your own mother cringe when you call? If so, the Villainous Union wants you. You will travel to far and a way kingdoms, seeing the world one evil deed at a time, while unhelping others.

Join the Villainous Union and be as evil as you can be!

*Do-gooders need not apply.

Call 1-800-PRINCE-CHARMING-ASKED-FOR-IT to apply.

Come Over to the Fairly Darkside

If you haven't already, join the fairly darkside by entering j.a. kazimer's monthly contest. I give away a pretty cool prize every month, and all's you have to do is enter at http://www.jakazimer.com. It's really that easy. I vow not to share your information, but even more important, I'll try my very hardest not to stalk you. It's not a promise, but I will try!

This month's prize is a copy of my book, The Body Dwellers, plus a bunch of other book lover swag, and maybe even a few more books (not by me, but by some really great authors I happen to love!)

So enter today at http://www.jakazimer.com

What? You Don't Like Free Gift Cards?

Time is slowly running out to enter the February drawing for a $20 gift card from Amazon or Barnes & Noble. All's you have to do to win is submit your name and email address at http://www.jakazimer.com.

Not only will you be entered into this month's contest, but you'll have a shot to win a fabulous prize (bear in mind how subjective the term fabulous really is) each month.

What are you waiting for? An engraved invitation...

WIN $20 Gift Card

The New Never News in connection with reporter, j.a. kazimer, will be giving away a monthly prize to anyone who enters the contest at http://www.jakazimer.com/.

This month's prize is a $20 Gift Card.

Enter once and you're eligible to win any prize.

And the Winner Is...

The winner of yesterday's holiday gift card giveaway is: Bridget Hawthorn

Since that's not you, we'd still like to give you something. Something not quite as cool, but still, it's free. Other than our well wishes that is.

We'd like to give you a e-copy of j.a. kazimer's short story collection, Stolen Kidneys, Dead Hookers & Other Nursery Crimes.

To download, simply go to http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/32375- and download a copy using the coupon code - GP36V. The offer is valid until 12/25.

Thanks to all who commented.

We wish you and your make believe family a very happy holiday!

Holiday Giveaway

The New Never News would like to thank our readers this holiday season by giving away a $20 Amazon Gift Card. To win, simply leave a comment about your favorite fairytale on this post and we'll select one lucky (who are we kidding, semi-lucky at best) winner. Not only will you win the gift card, but we'll also write a story featuring you in your ideal fairytale.

Sounds great huh? Well, maybe not great. Good at least... Okay, not as bad as a lump of coal.

So post below and WIN!!!!!

The winner will be announced on December 17, 2010.