Modified Social Benches

We have now 10 of these surrounding Kiasma.
Made by wonderful Jeppe Hein.
More photos will follow sooner or later, when the exhibition opening is over.

The Pond of the Pregnant Oyster

and some other Berlin photos now available here.

Anyway, the city was brilliant. Last time I was in Berlin it was around year 1995 and I remember it was all grey and rainy. The streets were too wide and there was nothing to see, really.
Well, now... it was grey and rainy and the streets were bit too wide and the city was full of huge, shiny and new buildings, but there was definitely much to see. Except that the thing we went to see, the Berlin Biennial, was... erm... empty like Berlin in 1995. I wonder where the art was?
Well, because the Biennial was slightly shitty, we run through around 30 galleries instead, but really can't remember anything anymore, except Chiharu Shiota, whose work we'd love to see in Helsinki soon.


Gallery Dog
Originally uploaded by Taiga the Fox.

I also visited Deutsche Guggenheim, which was erm, bit tiny. Because it was like that I saw the huge Hamburger Bahnhof. To be honest having a golf cart would have been handy there. I also visited the Pregnant Oyster, Martin-Gropius-Bau and Neue Nationalgalerie collections, where I saw some wonderful works of Rebecca Horn of many. We also met lovely Ann-Sofi and visited Jeppe's wonderful studio.

I will always be in shame, because when I was so concentrated on finding the right U-bahn, I forgot to take my camera with me, when I met lovely Bowleserised and darling BiB, who were utterly fabulous and great talking about sauna, vodka and blogging and other essentials of life.





I am in the eye
Originally uploaded by Taiga the Fox.

Typical Day of a Curator

Dear Blog,

Today I woke up at 6.55 am, went to work, wrote various e-mails to New York and Kopenhagen, piled some papers and stuff like I always do, looked out and thought that the work day must be over already, took my coat and noticed it was just 11 am.
Bloody November.
I wondered how are we supposed to know what time it is when it's equally dark outside days and nights. Obviously a clock would help, but I don't wear one, because I have a mobile. Well, I wasn't in a mood for seeing any mobiles today.

I went to the shop and bought a princess crown, came back to work and watched secrectly a piece of art, which I obviously shouldn't do at daytime, because I work in an art museum. I did some more paperwork and came back home when it was dark.
I thought I could possibly be more efficient and an overall better person if I'd sleep more. I also wondered that I probably wouldn't even try chasing a crazily meowing cat during nights if I'd sleep more, but obviosly I can't sleep because all that meowing. Perhaps I should get a meowlingual?



Cat: Meow!
Meowlingual: I want food!
T Fox: Would you be quiet, I want to sleep!
Cat: Meooow!
Meowlingual: I want foood!
T Fox: Shut up now!
Cat: Meeoow!
Meowlingual: I waaant food!

Perhaps not.

Few flights and couple of blokes called Leinonen.

I don't particularly fancy flying. Even less now when I have booked flights from KLM. I read their website which proudly announced: "You can choose from the following special meals:
* Vegetarian
* Fruit
* Asian vegetarian
* Strict vegetarian
* Babies
* Children
* Diabetes mellitus
* Cardiovascular disease or elevated cholesterol
* High blood pressure
* Gluten free
* Lactose free
* Muslim
* Kosher
* Hindu "

What I apparently couldn't understand was the word intercontinental, so I booked the flights and only later found out that they serve only basic catering meals on European flights. I seriously thought if I really should get a flight to USA and back on my way to Italy, but then I remembered this beautifully creepy sight and decided that I probably wouldn't like the taste of Diabetes mellitus anyway.

Well, later that day I was delighted about the shade of the skies.



If you visit Helsinki when I'm away, you should visit Taidetuunaamo by an artist Leinonen.
The words "Katso tuunausvideot" means "look at the tuning videos".

Also, later that day I was invited to a secret party, ate a secret cake, drank a secret coffee, didn't taste the ingredients of a secret bottle, but saw a secret singer called Leinonen.



Here is he singing about something small and warm [pieni ja lämpöinen]. You can learn the lyrics whilst I'm swimming in Laguna Veneta.

Travel Day 3

Kassel

Another seven hours of hasty ramblings through three giant exhibition halls.
Names of the artists flow through my mind.
I see detailed documents, lenghty media installations,
I see Harvey Keitel in a black room,



I see clear messages





we go hiding.

During the night I sit on the white coach behind these doors.*


White people wearing white suits drink white wine whilst listening to white incidental music and dreaming about having been Andy Warhol in a black polo shirt.
We drink enormous amounts of wine.
We ask the waitress if it's possible to dance.
No, says the waitress, this is a chill-out club, you are supposed to sit on the sofa and chill out.
So we sit on the sofa.
My colleague pretends to be Spiderwoman who attacks a rabbit hole.
I try to save poor animal with my glittery hooves.
Unfortunately my taiga the hulk-hoof boots and snaps his room key in two pieces.
Next morning my 45 year old colleague explains to the receptionist how he sat on the key accidentally. I try my best not to neigh.



* Yes, one of the flattened figures is mine.

Travel Day 2

I wake up in the hotel and drink bubbly as a breakfast.

I love

dresses

curves

tigers

magnets

colours

and more colours.

I see

seeds and

stuffed animals.

I spend 7 hours by watching art. My legs hurt, my eyes hurt, my brain aches.
Who said this isn't work?

Travel Day 1

Darmstadt, Germany

A silent old man with grey hair gives me a pair of bright yellow rubber boots and shuts the door behind me.
I'm inside a dark cellar and can hardly see a thing. The place is filled with cold water. My skirt gets wet but I carry on walking. I watch how rotten fruits float.
Behind a corner stands this.




---Few hours later---

Frankfurt am Main



Behind this door I see how a German man does fairly disgusting things with English breakfast.

I buy a book called Die Überwindung des Menschseins Nach der Heilmethode von Prof. Pilzbarth.

Everything's ready

The exhibition is ready-ish.



The book is ready.



Summer's ready. I was awake the other night, at 3:53:17 am and took this photo of our kitchen window. I think summer is here finally. For few days and then it starts to be darker again, but not quite yet.



Before that I'm finally going on that holiday. I'm ready.
I will send you some postcards.

T Fox meets Com-pa-ny

Today I had a pleasure to meet two brilliant young designers: Aamu Song and Johan Olin.
All I saw was so delightful, funny and witty that I'm still bit lost for words. That's why I'm doing something I haven't much done; borrowing photos and words straight from their web site.

Lazy Taiga presents: Com-pa-ny.

BEARD MASK
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

For anyone who wanted to have a beard.
Specially made for the northern countries where men don't grow much beard.

Material: Cotton.

FootHill Shoes
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Made in Germany summer 2006 World Cup time. For a fancier playing, or something..
Hand-re-made by Johan Olin

Mobile Shoes
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Kimi und Schumi.
Handmade by Toni Engelberger

Safety Skirt
----------------
Available in White, pink and sky blue

Chairman
-----------
A. Song / COMPANY

Chairman is a good man.
Chairman is little bit lazy.
Chairman appears in sunny street when it's between +15'c and +20'c.

Material: Plastic stool from Thailand, industrial felt,
rubber thread in gold and white, used Rukka windbreaker jumper suit

Click the chairman, please.

Takkiainen (a combination word that ties together the meanings of two Finnish words: takki, a coat, and takiainen, a bur )is a jacket for lonely or bored people. It is designed to help the wearer to get in contact with others.

Since we brush against each other every day as we move around in the city, we can use our clothes as a medium for meeting people and communicating with them.

The jacket is made out of Velcro strips of different widths that have been sewn together side by side to form alternating hook and pile stripes.When these materials touch each other, they grab onto each other. The lonely user can be happily connected with other loners simply by walking around in the jacket. Even babies can be attached to their parents.

I add an advert

So, I wasn't having a baby, just been busy with the wind.
Now when back in blogging I invite you having at least a virtual tour in the --- ( The doors are closed, sorry )

How to get an heart-attack or at least get retired quickly: Start a career as a museum guard

The rooms of the museum were crowded by guests longing for free complimentary drinks, having no heartfelt desire for the political aspects hidden in the masks of contemporary art or the steamed faces of the curators. They were interested in the face-lifts of the famous, hot gay couple on the corner and the missing ring of the political leader's former secret admirer's finger.

Suddenly a strong voice cuts air.
The zestful chit-chat ends.
Something falls down.
Silence.



A tall man: It wasn't me.
A tall man [under the hundred pairs of goggling eyes]: I didn't do anything!
He looks down on his feet. There is a part of installation on the floor. A rusty saw. The hundred pairs of goggling eyes stare the tall man staring the saw.
Taiga Fox: I saw it. He didn't do anything.
A tall man disappears. The eyes stare Taiga Fox phoning the conservators.
Taiga Fox can't lift the saw from the floor because it is an object of art, not a saw, so she stares the saw and guards it from the feet of the owners of the goggling eyes.

15 minutes later the conservator and the artist arrive. The artist picks the saw from the floor, because it is obviously just a saw and tries to place it back.
It falls down again.

There is a new guard standing in the corner. I've never seen her, she has never seen me before.
She looks at the conservator laughing happily. She looks at me smiling happily. She looks at the unfamiliar man wearing a dark woollen hat on his dark long hair, lifting up the saw.
The man starts to saw. Curly pieces of wood slide through the air. Skreaking voice of the metal teeth biting the wood fills the air. Everybody smiles. Sweaty man saws harder.
The guard [jumping trough the room]: Noooooooooooo!