Invisible stalker mini

This past week was crazy for anyone living in Texas, so I didn't get much done in the way of miniatures--except for this invisible stalker. 

Our house went four days without power and water as areas all over the state saw record low temperatures and for record durations. 

We stuck it out the first couple of days, but we eventually gave in and stayed with friends till our electricity and water pressure returned. Still, we were very fortunate compared to many who saw massive damage to their homes--not to metion those who died because of the storm.

So it's nice to get back to miniatures, even if I am being a little silly. Thanks for your patience; here's a bonus pic of the new figure next to another 28mm model.

These are unprecedented times we're living in, so take care! 

New monster: Gelatinous Rubik's Cube

Found one of these old puzzle toys, and inspiration struck:  It's the right size to fit on the table among all the player character miniatures, so why not make a monster out of it?  So I give you (for Holmes Basic):

Gelatinous Rubik's Cube
Move: 60 feet/turn
Hit Dice: 4
Armor Class: 8
Treasure Type: variable
Alignment: neutral
Attacks: 1
Damage: see below
Similar to its more common cousin, the Gelatinous Rubik's Cube serves the role of scavenger in the dungeon.  However this monster is  easily distinguished by the fact that each surface of this creature has a different color.  Moreover, the various magic the Gelatinous Rubik's Cube has devoured gives it certain powers.  Roll a die to determine which side is attacking and apply the result to the target:
     Die Roll  Color         Effect
       1            Red            2-8 fire damage, any flammables ignited
       2            Yellow      1-4 damage, causes blindness
       3            Orange      immobilized as per Web spell
       4            Green        1-4 damage, causes rotting mummy disease
       5            Blue          heals 1-4 points of damage
       6            White        2-8 cold damage, any armor frozen into immobility

Fleet and ship names from the GCC game

I had six players for my 5150: Star Navy game at GuadaComaCon.  Each gamer had an identical Free Company fleet, consisting of one battleship, one fast attack carrier, and four light cruisers.   The game was well-received, and I had fun running it.  As usual in my scenarios, I had the players christen their ships and name their fleets.  Here's what they came up with:

HoldFast

• Fleet: Evil Clown Mafia
• Battleship: Admiral Chuckles
• Carrier: Prince Slappy
• Light Cruisers: not named [bad admiral!]

Coach K

• Fleet: Patriots
• Battleship: Belichick
• Carrier: Brady
• Light Cruisers: Gronk,  Amendola, Ridley, Hernandez

Coach's son:

• Fleet: Cowboys
• Battleship: Jones
• Carrier: Garrett
• Light Cruisers: Romo, Bryant, Claiborne, Murray

Der Kommanndant

• Fleet: Sons of Ares
• Battleship: Thanatos
• Carrier: Achlys
• Light Cruisers: Deimos, Phobos, Enyo, Eris

Grant

• Fleet: Devastation
• Battleship: Leviathan
• Carrier: Yormomma
• Light Cruisers: Ramrod, Suckit, Blaster, Slayer

Don M

• Fleet: not named [bad admiral!]
• Battleship: Dark Star
• Carrier: Graff Zeppelin
• Light Cruisers: Repulse, Valiant, Matidor, Cossak

I liked the father-son rivalry expressed by naming their respective forces after different NFL teams.  The other names, humorous, mythological and historical, also were appropriate for mercenary forces.  

I think naming your forces gives you a little more investment in the scenario.  I'm curious: Do you (as a player) name your individual ships or (as a referee) have the players name their ships?

Life imitating art or art imitating life?

OK, first, go read this post about how a massive, 2,800+ spaceship battle erupted in the EVE sci fi massive multiplayer online game.  Or, if you don't feel like clicking, note that the game requires hundreds of hours of time to obtain the in-game resources to build starships.  The bigger the ship, the more time it takes to acquire.  Translate that into dollars, and the vessels get expensive--thousands of bucks.  So players have a huge personal investment in their ships.  

Image from tor.com

Recently, one guild planned an attack against a certain territory.  But a misplaced mouse click meant that a single capital ship jumped in without backup.  The defenders pounced, and the interloper called for help.  Instead of retreating, the attackers doubled down, slowly sending reinforcements, and the defenders called more and more allies into the fight.  In the end, there were dozens of ships, worth thousands of dollars in real-world money, that were destroyed.

Look, my little summary can't do this story justice.  You need to read it for yourself to revel in the coolness of this incident--an epic space battle that started because of a big mistake.

But I got a kick out of something else I noticed in another article on the epic EVE space battle.  Notice this little snippet about the battle:

So, in the initial stages, the CFC had local superiority and was able to down one PL Nyx while three others warped out in low armor and even one at eighty seven percent structure.

I read the last part of that sentence (emphasis mine) and immediately translated it into Star Navy terms:  Three ships took a lot of damage to their hulls and fled.  In other words, they received enough damage to lower their Rep, causing them to break off the fight.  The last ship, though, had 87% structure.  He must have just got hit by one gun, and then passed 0d6 on the Received Damage test.  Or did he not pass the Friend Destroyed or Higher Class Friend Breaks Off test.

Anyway, I thought it was interesting that the reactions of online players with a great deal invested in their in-game starships mirrored the rules of 5150: Star Navy.  Or is that the other way around?

Wacky Warhammer

Over at the awesome Realm of Chaos: An 80s Warhammer Enthusiast Blog, Orlygg posted about some of the whacky and whimsical little-known gems of the Oldhammer world.  He compiled a top-10 list of his favorite humorous and/or odd figures that Games Workshop/Citadel Miniatures produced back in the day (before they got all grimdark serious and skullz!!!1!!), such as the Dwarf with an Inferiority Complex, the Wizard with Machine Gun, and the Chaos Toilet(!).

He asked readers if he'd left any minis off his list, so I thought I'd share some of my favorite less-than-serious skeleton models.  I've always been a big fan of the Warhammer skellies, and here are a few figures I own that make me smile:

The Anarchist:

Clad in a floppy hat and cloak, this Guy Fawkes-like figure clutches a bomb (in the shape of a skull, no less) with sputtering fuse.  I plan on using him in a Shooters element for Hordes of the Things.

Bag O' Bones:

My wife calls this figure the skeletons' medic, seeing how he's walking around with a sackful of spare parts.  Once he's painted, I'll affix him to my existing HotT Magician stand as an assistant to the necromancer.

Rambones:

A headband-clad skeleton with an M-16 and modern pineapple hand grenade!  What's not to love?  I actually have two copies of this figure, and they will comprise another stand of Shooters once they're finished.

So to ask the question that Orlygg asked, what old Warhammer figures appeal to your sense of whimsy?

What my wife traded a blender for at the office gift exchange

Munchkin from SJG.

My wife's workplace held its Christmas party, and they had a white elephant exchange where each person gives a gift to one other person, and that person can then trade it for someone else's present.  After everyone had swapped gifts, Mrs. Scribe ended up with a blender, while her non-gaming coworker was upset about getting the Munchkin card game from Steve Jackson Games. 

My spouse, the good gamer that she is, offered to trade the gadget for the game (we already have Munchkin-Fu and Munchkin Bites, although we've only played the former), and both employees left the white elephant swap happy.

Does anyone else have a significant other who would do something like that?  To paraphrase Silent Bob: Not many women will trade a kitchen appliance for a noncollectable card game.

Not a real module, but it should be

As the Rush Clockwork Angels tour hits San Antonio this evening, I had to share this image from the blog Save vs. Dragon.  It's for a Dungeons & Dragons module that doesn't exist, but should.  The title of this faux adventure comes from a 20-minute epic by that Canadian power trio on their Caress of Steel album--the same album that includes another multi-part D&D-sounding track, "The Necromancer."

The blog's author, Big New Dragon (Richard J. LeBlanc, Jr.), has more where this came from: an entire post of classic rock song titles made into D&D modules.  Go check it out, and you'll have at least one of those old tunes playing in your head the rest of the night.

Weird search term leading to my blog

"star trek fleet wars porn comic"

Uh, OK.

If you're wondering, it led to this post on a starship comparison poster.

What are some of the strange search terms you've seen for your blog?

What's your (character's) name?

In a thread over at Dragonsfoot, people are talking about some of the goofy names they gave their player characters.  I chimed in with a character I created with the name of Urban Renual, and his cousin, Urban DeKay. 

There's also the names I gave my characters for Unlimited Adventures, the D&D computer adventure creation engine: Aiyre Bourne the ranger, Sir Guudeguye the paladin, Heppmi Meddick the cleric, Wylie Sneak the thief, Faye Lanks the magic user and the elf F/M/C Jack (later Jill) 'Voltraydz.

What are some of the goofy names you gave your PCs back in the day (or even more recently)?

Dragon on the ceiling

This fearsome beast appeared above us in our kitchen near the hallway one evening.  However, there was no fire-breathing, princess-taking or other carnage involved with this little drake.  In fact, he's quite the tame dragon.  He and his friends sometimes come inside for a visit, and we gently help them find their way outdoors again.

Announcement: No more starship gaming

OK, people.  I've been giving this a lot of thought lately, and after a mandatory twenty-six-hour voluntary spiritual audit by the elders of my church, I have decided to quit starship gaming.

The decision is personal, but I will just say that after sleep deprivation, bright lights, and enhanced baptismal techniques, the church fathers have convinced me that the idea of spaceships contradicts the Bible's description of the Earth as the center of the universe.  They also don't like the concept of a globular world.

Later this week, I will be melting down all my spaceships as instruments of the devil.  I am switching to only church-approved wargaming, which does not allow the use of dice (random results = games of chance = gambling = sin = damnation).  I thought I might be allowed to play chess, but as that game contains the taint of Catholicism (with its bishops and such), I will be wargaming with checkers from now on.

A wargamer's Aesop

I recently started working on the dozen plastic knights from the Warhammer boxed set I purchased for a song.  I plan on using these figures as part of a Bretonnian army for Hordes of the Things.  As I was fitting the two halves of the horse bodies together before applying the glue, I noticed how well-made these models are--very small tolerances and a tight fit, with no large gaps between the edges of the parts.  In assembly-line fashion, I glued together all twelve of the horse bodies at once, then placed them in the slots on their cavalry bases.

Once I had the steeds put together and lined up, I reached for the sprues holding the tails and heads for each horse.  Can you see where this is going?  That's right; those parts had tabs meant to secure them inside the assembled body--meaning I was supposed to add the head and tail to the model before gluing each side of the body together! 

It was only after I noticed my mistake that I remembered that the boxed set came with an instruction book!  Not only that, but I had read the instructions at least once after I got my purchase home from the store!  Needless to say, I was angry at myself for this blatant act of stupidity. 

And to make things worse, since I had used plastic model cement--which basically welds polystyrene together--instead of superglue that can be dissolved by rubbing alcohol or Pine-Sol, I'd have to live with my blunder.  There would be no prying apart the halves to undo my mistake.  Thankfully, there was a solution, and it only took a little effort with an Exacto to trim those tabs down to where I could insert each part inside the glued bodies.  I hadn't ruined my figures with my stupidity, just created a little additional work for myself.  The horses came out looking fine in the end.

The moral of the story: Before irrevocably merging the parts of your figures together, read the instructions!  Or at least do a test-fit with all the parts of the model, not just the subsection you're working on at the moment.

Sunday Starships: the name game

As I've mentioned before, I have a house rule that all players must name their starships before beginning any space battle.  I enforced this requirement at the South Texas Mini-Con, and I thought I would share the names the players came up with.  My space station (shown below being infested by the bugs), which served as the objective of the game, was an artifact of the long-lost Mag'Uph'Un Empire, so it was referred to as the Mag'Uph'Un:

Speaking of the bugs, Joe, the Entomalian player, named his largest battlecruiser the Scorpion King (technically a goof because the Scorpion-class BC is the asymmetrical ship, not the biggest one, which is a Roach-class BC), the other BC the Killer Roach (I think--he didn't write all the names down on the ships stat sheet), and his Hornet-class cruisers the Green (get it?) and the Doolittle (historical reference--the Hornet was the carrier that launched Gen. Doolittle's bomber raid on Japan not long after Pearl Harbor):

Chris, who played the birdlike Avarians, had fewer but more powerful ships.  He christened his Eagle-class battlecruiser the Sam'm (complete with apostrophe for that SF naming authenticity), his Screech Owl-class destroyer leader was the Big Bird, and his Hawk-class destroyer was named the Vultan in an homage to Brian Blessed's character in Flash Gordon ("First wave, DIVE!!!"):

Chip had the Carnivorans, and he assigned the Lion-class battlecruiser the name Mufasa, designated the two Panther-class cruisers as the Malcom and the Denzel (I know, Malcom X wasn't associated with the Black Panthers, but I didn't want to say anything at the time), and called his Cheetah-class detroyer (not pictured) the Chester:

Finally, there was this humble blogger and game organizer, playing the Aquarians.  I went with a (surprise!) nautical theme in designating my starships.  OK, it was more of a seafood theme--I called my Shark-class battlecruiser the Mrs. Paul, named my Barracuda-class cruisers the Fish Sticks and the Fillet O Fish, and gave my Piranah-class destroyer the moniker Chicken of the Sea (appropriate, because it spent the last three turns limping away from the battle with 3 out of its starting 30 power units):

So what are some of the names you've encountered in your starship games?  Let me know in the comments.

Starship combat non-critical hit table

A lot of starship battle simulations ultimately boil down to a war of attrition: your phasers burning through the other guy's shields before his missles pierce your armor.  However, many space combat games have some sort of critical hit system as well--either integral to the game mechanics, like the threshhold checks in Full Thrust, or bolted on as an afterthought like the Galactic Knights optional critical hit table.  This is also known as the Golden BB rule--meaning a one-in-a-million lucky shot can get through and take out your flagship.

Most of the time, though, your shots simply amount to ticking off armor boxes or crossing off systems on your ship diagram.  But there's more to a starship than gun emplacements, engines, and electronics.  When I run my convention scenarios, I like to describe to the players what happens with the non-critical hits, or when someone takes out a cargo space on a transport.  However, it's tough coming up with something on the fly, so I whipped up this table for future reference.

NON-CRITICAL STARSHIP DAMAGE TABLE (d%)
Die roll     Result                                      
01-02        Forward dry cleaners
03-06        Starbord pizza oven
07-11        Arcturan pornography library
12-13        Holodeck
14-16        Shuffleboard deck
17-19        Paint locker (d10: 1-7 gray; 8-9 white; 10 plaid)
20-23        Chief engineer's still
24-29        Video arcade
30-34        Spare dress uniforms
35-37        Septic tank
38-41        Petting zoo
42-47        Swimming pool
49-52        Captain's disco lounge
53-58        Stormtrooper target range
59-63        Aft car rental kiosk
64-69        Are you really reading this far?
70-72        Port sauna
73-76        EVA window cleaning equipment
77-80        Dune buggy garage (lose 1-6 dune buggies)
81-82        Satellite TV dish
83-86        Intellectual property cloakers
87-88        Political officer's quarters
89-92        Internet connection wait, that's critical-roll again
93-94        Make it up your own damn self
95-97        Roll again twice on this table
98-99        Disc golf course
 00          Rulebook destroyed: game ends

Let me know if you end up using this, and how it works out for you.

Everybody Gets A Trophy Day

I'm proud to announce Super Galactic Dreadnought has received a prestigious* award** for blogging***.



Granted, the judging is a little suspect--I tied for second place--but given the obvious mental instability of the referee, as shown by this person's own ramblings, I have to cut the officiating some slack.  I'm sure with a little effort I will surpass the competition in every way for next year's award.

*and by "prestigious" I mean "obscure"

**and by "award" I mean "obscene gesture"

***and by "blogging" I mean "colossal waste of time"

Beanworld army for Hordes of the Things

One of my favorite comic books is the Beanworld series by writer/artist (and former Image Comics exec) Larry Marder.  The series started back in the 1980s, and Dark Horse is publishing it in hardback these days ( Book 1 | Book 2 | Book 3 ). 

"It's not just a place, it's a process!"

It's hard to summarize the concept behind this comic, other than to point you to the BeanWeb and the Beanworld Wiki.  You can also take a look at the Beanworld creator's blog.

Anyway, I'm a big fan of this comic, and felt inspired to create a Hordes of the Things list for the beans' army (of course, I'd have to make the figures myself ...).  Anyhoo, here's the HotT army list for the beans of Beanworld:

Beanworld character      HotT element     points

Mr. Spook                Hero General       4

Beanish                  Hero               4

Professor Garbanzo       Magician           4

Boom’r Band              Warband            2

Spear Fling’n Flank’rs   Shooters           2

Chow Pluk’rs             Spears x 3         6

Pod'l Pool Cuties        Flyers             2

Stronghold: Gran'Ma'Pa

Now, I just need to come up with an opposing army.  Any suggestions?

What's in a name?

A lot of flavor, actually.  I've noted before that it adds to the fun of a simulated space battle if you name the ships in your fleet.  In fact, I've instituted a house rule that players must christen all their vessels, using designations as serious or as silly as they want, before play begins.  Either way, it conveys some personalization to what players would otherwise refer to as "my destroyer number two" or "your cruiser."  Any source can serve as inspiration, or you can just make up your own in tribute or according to whim.

Ckutalik's comment on yesterday's battle report mentions the name of one of his ships, reminding me that I forgot to share the designations we came up with for our respective fleets:

Ckutalik's fleet:

• Cruiser: Grue
• Destroyer leader: Wampus
• Destroyer: Little Wampus
• Destroyer: Wampette

 My fleet:

• Cruiser: Existential Angst
• Destroyer leader: Midlife Crisis
• Destroyer: Manic
• Destroyer: Depressive

 It was a lot more fun referring to ships by name than by type and number.  For a source of ship names both inspirational and humourous, check out the designations Ian M. Banks gives his AI-driven spacecraft in his Culture series of SF novels.  Of particluar interest to me is the gravitas in this list, which shows the author and I possess a similar sense of humor.

What about the rest of you, fellow starship commanders?  Do you take the time to name your ships when you put them on the table?  If so, what are some of the names you use?  Do you keep the same names from battle to battle, or come up with new ones for each game?

Darths & Droids: RPG satire and movie mashup

It's fair to say the Star Wars saga has inspired entire generations of geeks and gamers.  Of course, after the movie first came out, the main science fiction role-playing game was Traveller, which took its influences from the literary end of the SF spectrum.  I've read about a few obscure games that might have been more directly influenced by the movie, but I didn't know of any at the time. 

About a decade later, the first roleplaying game for that setting came out from West End Games.  After another ten years, Wizards of the Coast took over the Star Wars gaming franchise with its d20 version of the setting (WotC recently lost that license). 

I myself never had a chance to play any games set in the Star Wars universe.  If I ever did, however, I imagine it might be something like the game portrayed in the webcomic Darths & Droids.  This webcomic (from the creator of Irregular Webcomic, another series I highly recommend), uses screen captures from the film to portray the adventures of a sci-fi roleplaying game.  It takes the premise that the players exist in a world where the movies had never been made and imagines how that setting might come about from the interaction of players and game master. 

Darths & Droids was directly inspired by DM of the Rings, another webcomic which (successfully and humorously) uses screen caps from the Lord of the Rings films to protray a cliched group of fantasy roleplaying gamers.   The latter series is complete, having covered all three LotR movies.  The creators of D&D (get it?) plan to go through all six films; they've already covered Episodes I and II, and are well into Episode III.  It's a fun read, and you might see some players you know reflected in the characters in this webcomic.