Wedding Painters: Dressing for an Event

 Wedding season is in high gear.  Right now in the studio, I have one painting that's approved and waiting to be picked up, one painting that's waiting for the couple to comment or approve it, and one painting that's about midway through the process.  And this afternoon, I've got another ceremony and reception to go to.  Busy times!

I get questions from other artists about various aspects of being a wedding painter.  How much to charge?  What equipment do I need?  Oil or acrylic?  Complete it in one night or over a period of weeks?  To each of those questions, my usual answer is "it depends".  It depends mostly on the individual artist and their own preferences.  One item that depends less on personal preferences is, what to wear?  I'm thinking of that because I'm about to start getting dressed for the event, so thought I'd share some comments.

As a wedding painter, I'm a vendor providing a service at a high-profile ceremony for one of the most important events in the couple's lives.  That means to dress up, to respect the nature of the event, but not so much that I draw attention to myself.  Most of the people working at such events wear black shirts and either long black pants or (women) long black skirts.  The reason is that the workers should be respectful, wear something that doesn't restrict movements, and at the same time be invisible.  Black clothing, for worker bees, says "you don't see me".  This is the same reason that the wait staff in many upscale restaurants wear black.  It's not to be trendy, it's to be invisible.

 As a live event painter, there are two events where I'm busy: the ceremony and the reception.

For the ceremony, I'll be busy shooting a lot of photos in and around the crowd.  So I'll wear black pants, shirt, and shoes to minimize my visibility to the guests.  Be real: will they really see me?  Yes.  Will their eyes skim right over me?  Also yes.  That's the point.

The reception is different.  I'm there, at the easel, painting away.  I'm part of the entertainment and I want people to come up and talk to me.  I don't want to be invisible.  So I'll typically wear black pants, a white shirt, and a colorful tie, with a black apron over it so I don't have to buy new black pants, white shirt, and colorful tie for every wedding.  

Most of the wedding vendors that I work with follow similar clothing protocols.  One wedding planner that I've worked with several times has some very elegant long black dresses.  She's dressed up, but if she has to do an emergency tuck on the bride's dress in the middle of the ceremony, she's not out of place.  On the other hand, one photographer showed up in cargo shorts, a sloppy gray T-shirt with a an unbuttoned and very faded short-sleeve shirt over it, and ragged running shoes.  Not cool.

So for those considering becoming wedding artists, give a lot of thought to what you wear.  And the next time you're at some kind of ceremony, look at what the workers are wearing.

Ceremonies

When I was young, I thought ceremonies were a waste of time.  "Just do it and get it over with."  Mention of an upcoming ceremony would prompt some serious eye-rolls.  Who has time for that?

After being in the Navy for a bit, though, I began to see ceremonies in a new light.  The military has a lot of them: awards, promotion, retirement, change of command, you name it.  These events weren't just something to get through as fast as possible, they were major milestones in people's lives and careers.  Ceremonies put a marker on the occasion and recognized its importance.  They put a dividing line on the "before" (say, when somebody was an Ensign) and "after" (when they were a Lieutenant jg).  At that moment, somebody's life changed.  And ceremonies put a public face on it.

So ceremonies had a value in themselves.  But some ceremonies really meant something, while others were just pro forma events.  The difference lay in how the ceremony was conducted.  When those carrying out the event knew what they were doing, and really meant what they were saying, ceremonies could be surprisingly powerful.  When they were just ticking off boxes, because "that's the way it's done", then they could be a waste of time.

I remember one retirement ceremony that followed all the accepted protocols.  Say this, present that, salute, say another thing, because that's in the script.  The individual went off to life as a retired Navy officer and we went back to work.  It had all the emotional impact of a Geico commercial.  A few weeks later, we had another retirement ceremony.  Same basic script, only this time, the officer conducting the ceremony and the retiree knew what each element in the script was all about, how it was relevant in this particular case, and they conveyed that to all of us in attendance.  It was incredibly powerful.  And it totally changed the way that I conducted military ceremonies for the rest of my career.

Fast forward to today and I find myself in the wedding ceremony business.  I'm seeing the same concepts here that I did in the Navy.  In some weddings, the couple, officiant, planners, and others follow a rote script.  They do this, that, and the other thing because "that's the way it's done", not because it has meaning to the couple.  It's just something to get through.  Tick enough boxes and boom, you're married.  Another Geico commercial.  Let's go eat.

I feel sorry for those who are just ticking the boxes.  They seem to be outside the event, watching it, rather than immersing themselves in a major change-of-life moment.  Are we doing the First Dance correctly?  Do I have any new emails on my phone?  Is the caterer skimping on the roast beef?  The DJ wasn't supposed to play that song.  Who's on the dance floor and who's sitting it out?

But those that really put a lot of thought into what they're doing, and why they're doing it, have some extremely moving ceremonies.  The officiant says things that apply directly to the bride and groom.  The bride and groom say things to each other that reach deeply into their relationship.  The bride may wear a piece of jewelry that belonged to her much-loved grandmother.  The father-daughter and mother-son dances aren't just something on the agenda, they mark a permanent change in the relationship between people who still love each other very much.  For those of us who are bearing witness, these moments can bring tears to your eyes.

For those who are planning a wedding, or any major life-event ceremony, put some thought into what you're doing.  Just do the things that mean something to you.  And throw yourself into it.  You don't get that many chances for a major celebration.  Enjoy it!