Gimme a Break

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Today starts my spring break. Oh that lovely time of the spring semester that allows me to take a break from my academic rigours and enjoy the lovely, balmy weather.

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Yeah right.

I wanted to read some of the YA books that have recently come out, watch some movies with my mom, sleep in, cram in some Supernatural marathons.

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Instead I must finish my thesis rough draft, write a 10 page paper for another class, read 2 novels, grade 2 sets of final drafts, and try to find the book the library says is overdue. No idea where that thing is.

It's kind of like this - it NEVER ENDS :)

So my dreams of lazy days and easy reading are pretty much kaput. But I'll manage to squeeze some good old fashioned procrastination in anyway. Like now for instance :)

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What are your favorite ways to spend a break? Anyone going anywhere fun? Do tell!
And do you like how I made a totally inane post more entertaining with LOLcats? Well, entertaining for myself anyway...

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Tell the Truth Tuesday: Things I've Learned

1. It is a bad idea to listen to the last disc of Bridge to Terabithia while driving to work and right after applying mascara.

2. There is nothing wrong with my tear ducts.

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3. Years of watching sci fi has affected my brain. As soon as I heard the premise for Terra Nova I started trying to figure out how they could avoid destroying the time/space continuum. Dad and I decided that they must have slipped into an alternate dimension, which actually satisfied our desire for logic. Immediately after we decided this, the show went on to explain that this was exactly what had happened.

4. I have no problem with people going back in time as long as they move to another dimension so as to not disturb the space/time continuum.

5. I become addicted to Twitter when I have a stack of papers to grade. This both distracts me and has the added bonus of making me sound like a total whiner for several days.

From HERE

6. I was way too concerned that my class schedule would interfere with the tv shows I want to watch this fall. They don't and I'm absurdly happy.

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So how about you? Any truths to share this week?

And now it's time for RETAIL WEDNESDAY!

I don't know how to start today, so ON to the awards :D

Private Amusement Award:

Yesterday I was leading a customer toward the back of the store when I nearly bumped into a gentleman. He had a bath towel draped across his shoulders. I wanted to ask him what the answer was to life, the universe, and everything, but I restrained myself.

Dense Customer Award:

Our cafe was serving samples. We have a small table near the info desk where the tray gets placed. The barista had brought out a tray, so I asked what was being sampled in case someone asked me.

A little while later a customer came up and asked what the one drink was.

Other customer: It's some orange thing.
Me: It's our peach Fruitkula.

This is pretty much the most heavenly drink of ever.

Customer: (takes a sip) No, I think it's mango.

Me: It's our peach Fruitkula.

Customer: (sips, smacks lips) I'm pretty sure it's mango.

Me: I just asked what they were sampling. It's our peach Fruitkula.

Customer: (eyes me suspiciously) Are you sure?

Me: Um. Yes.

Customer: It's really good.

Outright Bizarre / Witty Co-worker / Weirdest Reaction Award:

This is actually 3 stories in one (aren't you excited?).
I almost didn't post this, because I'm kind of nervous that people will take it wrong. But I think it's funny/weird, so here it is.

Don't take it the wrong way.

A woman approached me and cleared her throat, looking around rather nervously.

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This nervous.

Woman: Excuse me. I don't really even know how to ask this, but ... do you have any ... black books?

Me: Do you mean African American Fiction?

Woman: (breathes huge sigh of relief) Yes. Thank you.

I show her the section, trying not to burst out laughing. I go back to information and share this with A who gets a wicked grin on her face and says, "I would have been tempted to go get her Mein Kampf."

Because the book is ... black ... get it?
(Don't go getting all offended... it's only because of the cover. Has nothing to do with the book itself. Just Sayin')

On a related note, J had a customer asking for the same section and when J referred to it as the "African American Fiction section" (which is how they happen to be categorized or labelled) the woman got quite offended and asked:

"Do you have a White Caucasian Section?"

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....... you do realize we're just taking you to the section YOU asked for?

Cutie Patootie Award:
A young girl, maybe 4 years old, walked past the information desk. "A" looked at me and said in a hushed tone, "She's so CUTE!"

The little girl looked back at her and smiled broadly. "Thank you!"

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Oh my werd how adorable!

And that's it for today! See you later alligators!

I haven't used this picture in ages. I missed it :D

Retail Wednesday Thursday Edition

Oops. Meant to post this yesterday, but I forgot. I was so busy doing important stuff like cleaning and making a flier for my Dad and watching Firefly and voting for So You Think You Can Dance (which, btw, was aMAzing and can I just say that Cat Deeley is adorable and should totally get an Emmy for host!) and I forgot!

So, no Cover Love Thursday this week, because I've got some good stories. Oh man, the crazies were out in force this last week!

So on to the Awards!

Close but No Cigar Award:


A woman came up to the information desk and asked for the book Snow Storm and the Revolving Fan.
Me: Do you mean Snow Flower and ...
Woman: (cutting me off) Oh, yeah. Snow Flower and the Revolving Fan.
Me: It's actually the Secret Fan.
Woman: I don't know. The book by Lisa See.
Me: (find her the book and try not to laugh at the image her book title has provided)

Book Titles That Make Me Laugh Award:


A teenage girl asked me for this book... which happens to be in our etiquette section.

Phone Freak Award:


I answer the phone.
Lady: Hi, I was in your store about an hour ago to buy this book. I bought it because this church is bringing in a special speaker to talk about it at the end of July and I wanted to read it before then. So I called this morning and talked to Christine and they couldn't find the book, so she checked with the manager and then they found it and put it on the side for me. I came in and bought it and the girl at the register tried to give me something for the store. Some kind of card or something. But I don't have a computer and they needed an e-mail so I couldn't get it.
Me: Okay. (what is your point and btw, there is no Christine here and no one even has a similar name)
Lady: Well, I have a flier here from the church and it says that the book is available at Borders book store and it has your address and phone number and then it says that the book is $11.99, but when I bought the book, my receipt says $14.99. I thought it was strange when I bought it, but I didn't say anything, but when I got home I saw that this paper does say that it's available at Borders for $11.99.
Me: The price of the book is $14.99. I'm not sure why they put $11.99 on the flier. No one has arranged anything with us and we aren't able to do special pricing like that. The prices are all set by the company or by the publishers.
Lady: But the flier says that it's available at your store for $11.99. Why would they put that?
Me: I'm not sure where they got that number from. Give me one second. (Pull up Borders.com to discover that the special on-line pricing is... you guessed it, $11.99) Okay, I see what happened. Whoever put the flier together looked it up online and put the sale price. Unfortunately that price is only valid online. It even says it on the website.
Lady: But the paper doesn't say anything about that. Why didn't someone tell me when I bought this book?
Me: Because it's not our flier. They put that out without contacting us or telling us anything.
Lady: Well, they're advertising your store.
Me: And we appreciate that. But we can't honor a price that someone put on a flier that isn't from our store.
Lady: So I can't get the $11.99?
Me: The only thing that we could do would be to have you bring back the book you bought, we could return it and then order the book online and have it shipped to you. That would take about a week.
Lady: Well, I don't need it until the end of July, but I figured I'd go ahead and get it now, since I was there and you had the book. So if I come in they can give me the $11.99?
Me: We would have to order it. But just to let you know, I don't know how long the book will be on sale on our website. I couldn't guarantee that if you came in next week it would still be $11.99.
Lady: Well, they would change it for me, right?
Me: No, we don't have any control over the website prices. If it's on sale you would get that price. If it's not, we can't change it.
Lady: Well I think in this instance you should since there was a discrepancy in the flier price.
Me: That wasn't our discrepancy. We can't help what some random person puts on a flier that they make.

Look! I made a flier where everything is half off! Why won't you honor it?!

Lady: So you can't give me the $11.99?
Me: Only if we order it through our website while it is still on sale.
Lady: When are you working? Because they won't let me return the book. They'll want to know why I'm returning a book and buying it again.
Me: As long as you have your receipt it won't be a problem to return the book.
Lady: But they won't know to give me the $11.99 price if you aren't there.
Me: The price is automatic on the website. It won't matter who helps you order it, the price is set right now. That's why I told you we can't change it, so if it's not on sale anymore, we wouldn't be able to give you that price.
Lady: Well, I just don't understand why you can't just give me that price. They should have told me when I was in the store, since it was on the flier.
Me: (losing it just a little) It's. Not. Our. Flier.
Lady: Oh, I understand that, but they shouldn't have put that on there.
Me: I agree.
Lady: I don't know when I'll be able to get a ride back over there. That's why I came today. Because my husband could bring me. He already doesn't like bringing me there, he's just going to love this.
Me: I'm sorry. I guess you just have to decide whether the $3 is worth making another trip over here.
Lady: I'm not someone to quibble over $3.

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This actually has nothing to do with the story,

but it was the only picture with the word "quibble" and it made me laugh so...

Me: (OH REALLY BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN ON THE PHONE FOR 15 MINUTES WITH YOU OVER $3!)
Lady: I guess I'm just going to keep it. It isn't worth coming back and going through all that. Thank you (hangs up)
Me:

And that's it for this week! Hope you're having a great summer!

Two for Tuesday: Lame Edition

I woke up and realized I hadn't written a post for today. And that I had NO idea what I wanted to write about. But I'm trying to keep myself on schedule for the summer so I had to do something.

So here are 2 random facts about myself:

1. I hate talking on the phone. Like with a passion. Like I will do anything to avoid calling someone. Or answering the phone. Or whatever. I would rather text, e-mail, wait until I see them, smoke signals would be better than talking on the phone.

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2. I have about a trillion stuffed bears. I got one for every Christmas since I was born until last year. And I bought them for myself. I named them (almost all) with names that started with "B" such as Bernard, Belinda, Boo, Betsy, Bob, and so on.

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This is pretty much one of the cutest GIFs ever.

Now it's your turn! Tell me a random thing or two about you!

Retail Wednesday for You and Me

Um. Yeah. It gets hard to come up with clever titles after a while.

But LOOK! It's BACK! Retail Wednesday has returned to your computer screen! Aren't you excited?! Aren't you dancing with glee!

From HERE

Okay. Maybe not. Maybe it's just me :D

For those of you that might be new here (though I don't know if there are any of you) I work at a Borders and a while ago I decided rather than getting annoyed at people I should just write down their stories and make myself (and others) laugh about it. Because people are crazy. And I am a writer. And this is FAR more therapeutic than spitting in their coffee. (not that I would do that. I don't work in the cafe. ;)

AWARD TIME!

Book Titles That Make Me Laugh Award:


I saw this on an endcap and did a double take. Yes. Yes, this is actually a book.

The perfect answer for the allergic type I guess? I love that they are PEDIGREE POOCHES. No mutts for this knitter. No. Sir.

Private Amusement Award:


I answered the phone.

Woman: Hello, I was looking for a specific book.
Me: Okay, what book?
Woman: I was looking for a Super Horoscope book. I need Gemini and Scorpio.
Me: Hold on just a second and I'll see if we have them.
I put her on hold, but as I was trying to check, another customer accosted me and refused to leave me alone until I answered their question. I finally make it to the section, discover that we only have Gemini and return to the phone.
Me: Sorry for the wait.
Woman: Oh, that's okay. My psychic told me that I'd have to wait today.

Me: (to myself - why couldn't your psychic tell you if we'd have the books in stock?)

The best thing is that I found this on a psychic blog!

But seriously. I don't believe in the whole psychic/astrology thing, but if it made more people this patient I wouldn't mind.

Outright Bizarre Award:


Our deposits are picked up by Loomis, the armored car company. We have had the same guy forever and he's super nice. He walked into the store with his little cart with our change order on it. A customer looks over as we walk by.

Man: Hey, is that for me? (grins)
Loomis: Only if you want to go to the state prison. (smiles back)
Man: Oh, I've already been there. (turns back to browsing)
Me: !!!!!!!!

And that's it for today! Thanks for stopping by :D

Gimme a Break...but Not Literally

Due to the whole thumb fiasco and the difficulty I'm having keeping up with schoolwork, I am going to have to take a temporary sabbatical. I will keep y'all updated if there's any news on the thumb front, but for a week or two I won't be doing any of my regular features.

:(

So to cheer your spirits I have this for you!



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And this!


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And one more!


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See you guys around! Maybe this will give me a chance to catch up on some of my blog reading. Reading doesn't require a thumb ;)

Cold Zone

I had half a Retail Wednesday post all ready to go, but then a cold attacked my face and I couldn't finish it. Maybe I'll post it tomorrow. Until then, enjoy the following as a token of my affection:

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*mwah* See all y'all later!

Top Blogging Moments of the Past Year

I can't believe a whole year has come and gone!

Last year at this time I barely had a blog and there are so many of you that I hadn't met and didn't know! That's the most unbelievable part of all! I can't imagine my life without all of my blogger friends. And even though life has gotten really hectic for me and I haven't spent as much time with you all in the second half of the year as I would have wanted to, you guys are often on my mind. For reals (as Naomi would say :)

And what is a new year for, but to give us a moment to reflect on the old?
So here are some of my top favorite moments - top hits, I guess you could say - of the past year in regards to my blogging life :) - In no particular order. At all.

1) January was my real foray into the world of Twitter. I tweeted fairly regularly, but it wasn't until May that Twitter became a real distraction for me ;) That was when I met Mia Hayson and Simon C. Larter who really dragged me into the full world of all the fun that Twitter can be. I have loved every minute of it since then and there are so many things that I could not have done without my Tweoples. Like taking procrastination to an art form.

2) Debuting Retail Wednesdays! February was my first post in which I made fun of the crazy customers that shop at the bookstore where I work. I intended to keep it going, and I'm kind of hoping that I can work out a schedule and be more regular at posting this semester, but for now it's taken a hiatus. But I had WAY too much fun with it while it was going on. This was one of the things that started to build a little bit of a following over here at Sonshine Thoughts and I love every single one of you, especially those of you that have hung around through all the sporadic-ness of the past few months.

3) The A-Z Challenge in April. This kind of just fell into my lap when Lee popped randomly onto my blog and suggested I check it out. The goal was to post every day (except Sundays) in April, starting with the letter A and going all the way through the letter Z. I had SO much fun with this. Some days the letter was only a springboard to make me think of something completely random, but it helped me to meet some REALLY cool people and made me realize that I could write a blog about pretty much ANYthing in the world.

4) My first OWL contest! In March I hit 100 posts and decided to do a quick and little contest. So I made an amigurumi owl and offered it up. The owl mania swept my blog and I think I've given away 8 happy little owls since then. I love that you guys have gotten so excited about these little crochet critters and I plan on giving away more of them for random reasons in the future!

5) The SUPER SISTER CELEBRATION! Naomi and I had SO much fun reading all of your stories and judging them (not like, I judge you for writing this, but like, I totally love this part of the story you wrote, but I have to pick a favorite, so I guess I will go with this one, but they're all TOTES cool!) and then sending you guys prizes!

6) Dipping my toes in the world of flash fiction. Yup, yup, yup. Did I tell you that my Zombie Luv flash fiction got published in my school literary magazine?! That totally made my day. Flash fiction and blogfests stretched me so much this year and really have helped me to hone my skills as a writer. From the creepy story I wrote for Palindrome's Halloween contest to the strange western Rumplestiltskin to the Invasion of the Bloggy Snatchers 'fest that I hosted, I've learned a lot about pacing and character development and trimming words until you want to gouge your eyes out. It has been really good for me (not the eye gouging, but the writer's growth).

7) Vlogs. Or, well, videos I made for the blog. Naomi and I had a little too much fun with those this year. Only a couple, but enough to show how truly demented we are. There was the epic battle of HumaneBean Vs. BatCabbage and our foray into the "Zombiest Things" wherein we dragged a friend on our journey of insanity.

And that's about all I've got. I know I'll think of something else the instant I post this, but these are the first things that come to mind, so I'll go with it :)

How about you? Any particularly special memories of your bloggering life this year? Do tell!

Thank you all for being an awesomesauce part of this past year and I look forward to all the craziness to come in 2011.

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What?! No Retail Wednesday!?

I know, I know, I told you I'd be here and I haven't been. I was going to do a post with some stuff I had saved up AND THE PAPER DISAPPEARED.

I am CRUSHED by this as I am sure that you are.

Plus, this week was the first week of grad school AND TAing that is making me a little crazy. I am avoiding work right now, hence the silly little blog post.

So, I hope to be back next week with my stored up stuff AND I start back at work (just 1-2 days a week, so nothing too major) so I might have some new stories :)

DON'T FORGET!

You still have a few days to enter the Super Sister Celebration! Flash Fiction! I am so excited about the entries I've already gotten and hope to get some more before the deadline (some of you said you were going to send something. Ahem.)

And here are some LOLcats to make you smile :D

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Haha! I'm Writing This Retail Wednesday at Work

No, I'm not actually working, but I'm on my break and so I decided to at least start on this!

Yeah, so I lied. THIS is actually my last post as a supervisor. No one has yet been hired to replace me, so, I'm still here!

Anyhoo.

Saturday I leave for the wilds of Pennsylvania with my Mom to visit my Grandma Sweetheart, Papa, and various aunts, uncles and cousins. Haven't seen them in a year, so that will be nice. Then Tuesday we leave there to visit some friends in Virginia for a week. It will be great to just not have to DO anything.

I am going to try to preset a Retail Wednesday for next week (I've been saving some stuff up for all y'all) but I won't be around the interwebs too much for the next couple weeks.

Then school starts and I have NO idea how all THAT is going to go. Interesting to say the least.

I cannot STOP laughing at this!

Grrr! I can't get it to save/show here, so CLICK ON THIS LINK! You WILL laugh!

Enough preamble, on to the awards!

PHONE FREAK AWARD:

I answered the phone and the customer asked if we had a title by Magriel. When I asked him to spell the author's name for me, he did so. All was fine until he got to "L", which he announced was "L as in Llama". It took everything in me to keep from snort laughing at this odd choice of words.

It kinda reminded me of that episode of Friends when the woman interviews Joey for the Soap magazine and she decided to quote Phoebe and asks how to spell her name:

Hehe!

MOST ANNOYING AWARD:

A woman approached J and handed her a list of books.

Woman: I need you to find these books for me.

J: Sure, no problem.

Woman: I'm going to go sit down and drink my coffee in the cafe. You can bring them over to me.

and then she walked away, leaving J to stare after her in disbelief.

And when you're done with that you can wash my car...

J gathered the books (which were all weight loss related [oh the irony]) and brought them to the woman.

Later that day I was straightening and came across the entire stack shoved onto a random shelf near the cafe.

grrrrrr.....

SAY WHAT? AWARD:

A guy came up to the information desk and said, "Excuse me, do you have booger books?"

B and I looked at each other in confusion. Seriously?

"I'm sorry, what was that?" I asked.

The guy replied, "Booger books. You know, for playing cards?"

It then dawned on me that he had said POKER

Not Booger.

But B thought he had said booger too.

You know, Booger is a fun word to type.

And apparently there ARE Booger Books.

ahem.

CUTIE PATOOTIE AWARD:

I was helping a woman with ordering some books for a school. She had her grandson with her, who was probably about 4 years old. She had hoisted him up to sit on the counter while we looked at the order and he was very well behaved.

He recited her name and phone number when I asked her for them and told me that he was visiting his grandma. I told him I was going to visit my Grandma on Saturday in Pennsylvania.

His eyes lit up. "I went to BOTH Pennsylvanias!" he announced proudly. "Northern Pennsylvania and Eastern Pennsylvania. I went to the Crayola Factory and to Sesame Place. The Crayola Factory is in Northern Pennsylvania and Sesame Place is in Easter Pennsylvania! And there's a hotel with a shuttle bus that takes you to Sesame Place!"

At this point we had finished with the order information and they were ready to leave, so he waved good-bye and said (with a little prompting from his grandma), "It was very nice to meet you."

So adorable.

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Wednesday, How did you get here SO FAST?!

Yet another week has come and gone with the usual insanity that retail affords.

This is my last Retail Wednesday as a supervisor. I feel so strange about it!

Most of me is excited to be moving on to something new.

Part of me is absolutely terrified.

Retail is all I've known for about 12 years (crazy! Almost HALF my LIFE!) So I guess it's normal to feel a little weird about it.

But you didn't come over to hear me talk about this, you came by to laugh at stupid people!

Just because...

STRANGE COMBINATION AWARD:

I passed by a chair and saw two titles that someone had been looking at together:

and

I'm afraid I've just witnessed the next biological attack planning session

ODD QUESTION AWARD:

An elderly woman came up to coworker J.

Old woman: Can you Google something for me?

J: No, I'm sorry, we don't have internet access.

Old woman: Well, how do you look books up then?

J: We can look them up by title or by author or keyword.

Old woman: Under keyword look up "diseases of the Jewish"

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MOST ANNOYING AWARD:

I was answering a question that P had when J came into the office and announced, rather breathlessly, that there was a man at the table who was writing in a book.

P went out to investigate and it turned out that he was, indeed, writing in a book. A book that he had not purchased. ONE OF OUR BOOKS.

When P questioned him about it he got annoyed and said peevishly:

"I'm going to buy it!"

Angry puppy is not amused.

DENSEST CUSTOMER AWARD:

I got called up to the register for a possible damage discount. A woman was purchasing an Ingles language box set. It was one of the lower end language learning sets and the flip top was opened.

M said that the customer wanted a discount because it was opened.

Woman: I checked and everything is in there.

Me: Is there anything wrong with it.

Woman: No. It's just opened. So the CDs might be scratched.

Me: (looking at the box. It doesn't look like it had those tape circles holding it closed) I'm sorry. If it has everything I can't give you a damage discount.

Woman: Well why not?

Me: Because nothing is damaged.

Woman: But the CDs might be!

Me: Well, then you would want to return it. If you would rather we can see if there is another one or order one for you.

Woman: I need it now. It's open. Why can't you give me a discount.

Me: Nothing is damaged.

Woman: I don't know that the CDs are okay.

Me: If the CDs aren't okay, then you would want to exchange it for another one.

Woman: Well, I only get down here every couple weeks so you can understand why I want the discount on this one.

Me: (no, I DON'T understand) We can order another one and ship it right to you, but I can't give you a damage discount on an item that isn't damaged.

Woman: Okay, whatever.

CLOSE BUT NO CIGAR AWARD:

A woman approached me and said she was looking for a book called The Unaccomplished Earth. I looked it up, feeling like it wasn't quite the right title.

Sure enough, nothing came up. The woman didn't know the author.

I stared at the screen for a moment and then it came to me.

I asked her if she meant The Unaccustomed Earth?

The woman shook her head and said she didn't know.

I typed it in and BINGO! That was the book. She was happy, I was happy and as I walked away after delivering the book into her hands I realized, these are the moments that I will miss and that most customers take for granted. The moment when I know what the customer wants and (sometimes) pull it out of thin air. There's a satisfaction to that, to knowing that my knowledge base is broad enough that I can figure it out.

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Tata Lovelies! Come back tomorrow for our (finally) announcement of our SUPER SISTER CELEBRATION!