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| From Jesus and Mo |
Showing posts with label Smiles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Smiles. Show all posts
Friday, 26 April 2013
Wednesday, 13 March 2013
That's the spirit!
I happened across this reference to a product sold by Amazon, namely Rustin's Methylated Spirit. In spite of its attractive colour, it is not normally a beverage served at the finest parties. However, it received a surprising commendation at this link.
Review by Mr Harold Ramp - Gentleman Of The Road (Brentwood)
What better way to celebrate yet another restraining order from the ex-wife than with a glass or two of this reasonably priced beverage. The initial bouquet can be a little daunting for some but after a glass or two even the uncontrollable defecation that tends to follow can be easily ignored and the words "If you come near me or the kids again, I'm calling the police" sound like a declaration of undying love...
I'm still chuckling!
Review by Mr Harold Ramp - Gentleman Of The Road (Brentwood)
What better way to celebrate yet another restraining order from the ex-wife than with a glass or two of this reasonably priced beverage. The initial bouquet can be a little daunting for some but after a glass or two even the uncontrollable defecation that tends to follow can be easily ignored and the words "If you come near me or the kids again, I'm calling the police" sound like a declaration of undying love...
I'm still chuckling!
Sunday, 10 February 2013
Entertaining anagrams
Once in a while you come across a really entertaining anagram. 20 years ago I found myself amused by the irony of the anagram of government minister Virginia Bottomley's name. It seemed humorously plausible as it seemed believable that she might claim "I'm an evil tory bigot"!
Having survived the Conservative government of that time, (which led quite directly to 10 years of Labour government), there was a period when 'Apple Macintosh' developed 'laptop machines'. There is a surprising synergy between those two sides of an anagram.
On the other hand sometimes you hear one that is appears humorously antithetic. It would be very surprising to find that "Brittney Spears"
is on of those "Presbyterians".
Having survived the Conservative government of that time, (which led quite directly to 10 years of Labour government), there was a period when 'Apple Macintosh' developed 'laptop machines'. There is a surprising synergy between those two sides of an anagram.
On the other hand sometimes you hear one that is appears humorously antithetic. It would be very surprising to find that "Brittney Spears"
is on of those "Presbyterians".
Sunday, 23 December 2012
You haven't arrived until you have spoken
I was (reluctantly) attending a training course a little while ago, and the trainer opened with "You haven't metaphorically arrived until you have spoken".
She also commented that "because I'm not a scientist I had to draw myself a picture". That just shows how science is misunderstood. After all, scientists never draw pictures do they?
But it got a little better when she told us that "Neurologically, humans work better if it is clear what is required" (wow!) and then a little worse when we were told to "embrace praise but let criticism slide off".
After too many hours of being patronised by a trainer who would have been perfect for a younger less-experienced audience I fall back on the words of George Bernard Shaw. You can find them at this link.
Paradoxically the poor trainer suffered the consequences of her opening remarks a little later when everyone was so outraged that they had almost all arrived metaphorically to an extent that required her to call in reinforcements.
I actually felt sorry for her.
Another aspect of the story is that fellow atheists might take her advice too. You haven't arrived until you talk about your atheism. That gives me an excuse for going on about it so much.
She also commented that "because I'm not a scientist I had to draw myself a picture". That just shows how science is misunderstood. After all, scientists never draw pictures do they?
But it got a little better when she told us that "Neurologically, humans work better if it is clear what is required" (wow!) and then a little worse when we were told to "embrace praise but let criticism slide off".
After too many hours of being patronised by a trainer who would have been perfect for a younger less-experienced audience I fall back on the words of George Bernard Shaw. You can find them at this link.
Paradoxically the poor trainer suffered the consequences of her opening remarks a little later when everyone was so outraged that they had almost all arrived metaphorically to an extent that required her to call in reinforcements.
I actually felt sorry for her.
Another aspect of the story is that fellow atheists might take her advice too. You haven't arrived until you talk about your atheism. That gives me an excuse for going on about it so much.
Monday, 17 December 2012
UK census 2011 - good news!
The statistical results are now available for the national census of the UK, taken last year. And those results are interesting in many ways, but from the point of view of a secularist the most interesting thing is what they say about attitudes to religion.
It seems that the number of people with no religion has jumped to 25%, and in Wales it is even higher. The Office of National Statistics page gives the highlights of this section of the census. As usual though, one has to ask what spin is being put on any statistical report.
'The religion question' on the census was the only one that was not mandatory. The reason for this was not at all clear, but it gave 7% of people the chance not to respond to it. Why would they not respond? It seems unlikely that they preferred not to claim a religion but more likely that they did not want to admit to their doubts. This idea might be supported by the observation that
Between 2001 and 2011 there has been a decrease in people who identify as Christian (from 71.7 per cent to 59.3 per cent) and an increase in those reporting no religion (from 14.8 per cent to 25.1 per cent). There were increases in the other main religious group categories, with the number of Muslims increasing the most (from 3.0 per cent to 4.8 per cent).
Norwich leads the way in atheism, with 42.5%. I know that will disappoint at least one friend who likes to say that Brighton holds the record. However, Brighton, with a disappointing 42.4% it will have to pull up its socks. At least it has 9 years available to build up to a resounding victory in the next census. To be fair to it, a larger proportion of the the Brighton population preferred not to answer the question, so it is possible that it still holds the lead in reality.
It seems that the number of people with no religion has jumped to 25%, and in Wales it is even higher. The Office of National Statistics page gives the highlights of this section of the census. As usual though, one has to ask what spin is being put on any statistical report.
'The religion question' on the census was the only one that was not mandatory. The reason for this was not at all clear, but it gave 7% of people the chance not to respond to it. Why would they not respond? It seems unlikely that they preferred not to claim a religion but more likely that they did not want to admit to their doubts. This idea might be supported by the observation that
Between 2001 and 2011 there has been a decrease in people who identify as Christian (from 71.7 per cent to 59.3 per cent) and an increase in those reporting no religion (from 14.8 per cent to 25.1 per cent). There were increases in the other main religious group categories, with the number of Muslims increasing the most (from 3.0 per cent to 4.8 per cent).
Norwich leads the way in atheism, with 42.5%. I know that will disappoint at least one friend who likes to say that Brighton holds the record. However, Brighton, with a disappointing 42.4% it will have to pull up its socks. At least it has 9 years available to build up to a resounding victory in the next census. To be fair to it, a larger proportion of the the Brighton population preferred not to answer the question, so it is possible that it still holds the lead in reality.
As you can imagine, the National Secular Society is not silent on the topic. In
Census shows huge drop in number of Christians in Britain they report on some of the results. NSS president Terry Sanderson said:
"Such an enormous
reversal in the space of ten years is an indication of the huge upheaval
there has been in religious attitudes in Britain. It
should serve as a warning to the churches that their increasingly
conservative attitudes are not playing well with the public at large. It
also calls into question the continued establishment of the Church of
England whose claims to speak for the whole nation are now very hard to
take seriously."
Tuesday, 16 October 2012
Words Google doesn't know
There can't be very many words that the almost omnipotent and omniscient Google doesn't know - or so you would assume.
But I have noticed that some of the terms that I commonly use when blogging on Google's own (admirable) product, Blogger, are not known to Google's own spelling checker (and yes, blogging is one of them, as are blog, blogspot and Blogger).
Amazingly, Google is another, whether used as a verb or a noun. It doesn't discriminate only against itself and its own product, Youtube. One of its great rivals Facebook is also flagged as an error, as are well known internet memes such as Wikipedia, Skype and Reddit.
Technical terms such as rss, podcast, homeopathy, do not pass the test but perhaps that is understandable. Surprisingly neither do skeptic nor skepticism (which in the spirit of modern language are increasingly spelt this way in UK English). I can accept that it does not like words coming from other languages, such as qu'ran, kitman and taqiyyah, but the common word offensive also gets flagged, with the strange and surely non-existent alternative of 'offencive' being offered!
It can be forgiven for noticing people's names like Dawkins.
But there is one case where it should definitely be congratulated! It objects to Skepchick, and I have to say that I can only agree with it. I object to that horrible name too.
Its just wrong!
You might have noticed some related posts:
Paula Kirby on feminism in 'the movement'
The Watson inconsistency and the real outrage!
Small note for the sake of completeness. I use the English (UK) setting, and my claims are correct on the day of writing.
But I have noticed that some of the terms that I commonly use when blogging on Google's own (admirable) product, Blogger, are not known to Google's own spelling checker (and yes, blogging is one of them, as are blog, blogspot and Blogger).
Amazingly, Google is another, whether used as a verb or a noun. It doesn't discriminate only against itself and its own product, Youtube. One of its great rivals Facebook is also flagged as an error, as are well known internet memes such as Wikipedia, Skype and Reddit.
Technical terms such as rss, podcast, homeopathy, do not pass the test but perhaps that is understandable. Surprisingly neither do skeptic nor skepticism (which in the spirit of modern language are increasingly spelt this way in UK English). I can accept that it does not like words coming from other languages, such as qu'ran, kitman and taqiyyah, but the common word offensive also gets flagged, with the strange and surely non-existent alternative of 'offencive' being offered!
It can be forgiven for noticing people's names like Dawkins.
But there is one case where it should definitely be congratulated! It objects to Skepchick, and I have to say that I can only agree with it. I object to that horrible name too.
Its just wrong!
You might have noticed some related posts:
Paula Kirby on feminism in 'the movement'
The Watson inconsistency and the real outrage!
Small note for the sake of completeness. I use the English (UK) setting, and my claims are correct on the day of writing.
Monday, 1 October 2012
In-Seine lovers
If you jump into the river in Paris, are you in-Seine?
So goes the old joke. (If you are not a geographer, you may want to Google to find out the name of the river flowing through Paris . . . or read on.)
Here is a photo from Pont de l'Archevêché bridge in Paris, looking toward the island which hosts the famous Cathedral of Notre Dame.
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| Pont de l'Archevêché in Paris - padlocks for lovers. |
Thousands of lovers from all over the world, have secured padlocks to the bridge, before throwing the key into the River Seine (pronounced 'sane').
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| Padlocks on the Archevêché Bridge in Paris |
Surprisingly romantic! These have only appeared during the last two years or so. The original favoured Paris spot was the Pont des Arts, but overnight the tokens mysteriously disappeared one night in May 2010.
Apparently it's not only the authorities who expressed doubts about the attractiveness of this feature in the middle of the city. From time to time a dejected ex-lover has been seen desperately hacking at a padlock with a pair of pliers.
Good luck with the pliers. Call an engineer (with a pair of bolt croppers)!
Thursday, 23 August 2012
What do you call a 'born again' atheist?
Evangelical Christian converts have a name for themselves, and we all have our ideas what it means for them to be 'born again'.
But what is the name for people who regain a sense of rationality and escape from religion - or those who find a cure for the 'virus of religion'?
In the case of Christianity of course the escape is not sufficiently life-threatening (for most) for the expression 'dead again' to seem politically incorrect. After all, whatever can be born is going to die and so it seems not too inappropriate for the process of the death of faith.
In Islam of course it is a different matter, and although I do know a few Muslim apostates quite well, I think they tend to stay fairly quiet on the matter when they are with their families and those friends who are still Islamic. Generally they seem quite safe from those who are only 'Islamic' but could find themselves threatened by those who are 'Islamists'.
What other terms might we use?
Many people who no longer believe in the supernatural friend in the sky shy away from the label 'atheist'. Why label yourself as something that you are not?
I would like to collect phrases that people use to describe themselves, whether serious or humorous. I'll start off with a few and hope for comments.
I'm a member of the church of Richard Dawkins.
I'm a born-again atheist.
I'm a recovering Christian.
Any more?
But what is the name for people who regain a sense of rationality and escape from religion - or those who find a cure for the 'virus of religion'?
In the case of Christianity of course the escape is not sufficiently life-threatening (for most) for the expression 'dead again' to seem politically incorrect. After all, whatever can be born is going to die and so it seems not too inappropriate for the process of the death of faith.
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| Born again atheist tee-shirt (from here) |
In Islam of course it is a different matter, and although I do know a few Muslim apostates quite well, I think they tend to stay fairly quiet on the matter when they are with their families and those friends who are still Islamic. Generally they seem quite safe from those who are only 'Islamic' but could find themselves threatened by those who are 'Islamists'.
What other terms might we use?
Many people who no longer believe in the supernatural friend in the sky shy away from the label 'atheist'. Why label yourself as something that you are not?
I would like to collect phrases that people use to describe themselves, whether serious or humorous. I'll start off with a few and hope for comments.
I'm a member of the church of Richard Dawkins.
I'm a born-again atheist.
I'm a recovering Christian.
Any more?
Sunday, 8 July 2012
Sunday Selection 4
Continuing a new series where there is little
additional content from me, but I simply share a few items, new and old, that have
pleased me this week. As
almost every week, I see items on the web that I find interesting,
amazing or or amusing. This disjointed ramble might be on any of my normal topics - or on
other topics entirely. My thanks go to the friends who helped me to
find them.
First: 'Hotwheels double loop dare' - although one son tells me that 'everyone has seen this, the other one hadn't.
Next: I just love the tango used in Arnie's humorous movie, True Lies. The Movie version is here, and another version of the whole of Carlos Gardel's beautiful, passionate Por Una Cabeza can be found here. Just seeing that makes me want to watch the movie again - worth a good smile!
Podcast of the week: Radiolabs Podcast 'Talking to Machines'
Maybe some of us find ourselves talking to machines without realising it. This podcast from June 2011 had some interesting surprises.
Atheist blog post of the week: “Dear Atheists, We Ex-Muslims Are Waiting For You”, from The Friendly Atheist. I think you can follow my 'Creeping Islam' tag to see that I'm supporting his campaign to some extent, at least.
Physics of the week: This has to be the announcement of the discovery of the Higgs boson. You can't have missed that. Here's Lawrence Krauss's take on it. The question is - what does it mean? I feel that this is too difficult a concept to explain in terms that we can all understand and since I don't get it myself, I'm not going to try.
Parody of the week: Homeopath to start offering ‘assisted-suicide’ remedy.
" . . . as proof of its effectiveness, last week a man came in having a heart attack. The remedy was so good that he died before we could administer it.’ Read on and laugh out loud
Controversial atheism site of the week: Somehow, the most religious people in Israel seem to think they are too pious for the army, and yet they expect the more secular Israelis to risk their lives on their behalf.
And finally . . .
Favourite places: Fingal's Cave
First: 'Hotwheels double loop dare' - although one son tells me that 'everyone has seen this, the other one hadn't.
Next: I just love the tango used in Arnie's humorous movie, True Lies. The Movie version is here, and another version of the whole of Carlos Gardel's beautiful, passionate Por Una Cabeza can be found here. Just seeing that makes me want to watch the movie again - worth a good smile!
Podcast of the week: Radiolabs Podcast 'Talking to Machines'
Maybe some of us find ourselves talking to machines without realising it. This podcast from June 2011 had some interesting surprises.
Atheist blog post of the week: “Dear Atheists, We Ex-Muslims Are Waiting For You”, from The Friendly Atheist. I think you can follow my 'Creeping Islam' tag to see that I'm supporting his campaign to some extent, at least.
Physics of the week: This has to be the announcement of the discovery of the Higgs boson. You can't have missed that. Here's Lawrence Krauss's take on it. The question is - what does it mean? I feel that this is too difficult a concept to explain in terms that we can all understand and since I don't get it myself, I'm not going to try.
Parody of the week: Homeopath to start offering ‘assisted-suicide’ remedy.
" . . . as proof of its effectiveness, last week a man came in having a heart attack. The remedy was so good that he died before we could administer it.’ Read on and laugh out loud
Controversial atheism site of the week: Somehow, the most religious people in Israel seem to think they are too pious for the army, and yet they expect the more secular Israelis to risk their lives on their behalf.
And finally . . .
Favourite places: Fingal's Cave
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| Fingal's surprising cave on the island of Staffa. |
Monday, 2 July 2012
Marriage Preparation
Unashamedly stolen from a funny e-mail that I received at least 10 years ago, I couldn't resist sharing this collection.
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. - Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. - Kirsten, age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. - Camille, age 10
No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married. - Freddie, age 6
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. - Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids. - Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. - Lynnette, age 8
On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. - Martin, age 10
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. - Craig, age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich. - Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. - Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. - Howard, age 8
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. - Anita, age 9
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? - Kelvin, age 8
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck. - Ricky, age 10
Thursday, 16 February 2012
50% of UK christians 'not religious'
Results from a survey of people who would have ticked the 'Christian' box on the UK 2011 census have been in the news this week. Sponsored by the Richard Dawkins Foundation for Reason and Science, the detailed results of the first part of the survey to were revealed at the link in this sentence. I found some surprising numbers about the way the church is crumbling.
50% of the christians surveyed admitted the amazing revelation "No I don't consider myself a religious person", and 49% have not attended any ordinary religious services or meetings in the last 12 months. Two thirds of those had not even attended once in the last 10 years - the time since the previous census!
15% have never read the bible independently, 43% pray less frequently than once per year, and 18% do not even believe in the resurrection. 27% believe in astrology, and yet only 17% answered that they "believe in God and that Christianity is the only true way of knowing him".
At least 44% claim that "Jesus is the Son of God, the Saviour of mankind". However, that suggests that a majority do not believe in his divinity, and it is further revealed (although not divinely) that only 15% have "accepted Jesus as my Lord and Saviour".
When it comes to right and wrong, 8 times more christians look for guidance from their own inner moral sense, or the opinions of the family and friends than from religious teachings!
Remember - these are percentages of people who claimed that they ARE christians, not percentages of the population as a whole.
Perhaps less surprising, only 23% of these christians hold that "the bible is a perfect guide to morality and its teachings hold true today". This low percentage is, after all, a figure that is believable when you think of the behaviour of people who you know.
Of course it is dangerous to extrapolate these numbers to the rest of the population - the 46% who did not claim to have ticked the Christian box. It would be statistically incorrect to assume that none of the non-christians believed that Jesus is Lord and Saviour. Surely some do, but it can't be a large proportion.
All in all, these results pretty conclusively indicate that the government has no business assuming that 'Britain is a Christian country any more'. Christians of my acquaintance are getting quite worried about this.
My own worry is the Islam will get more of a foothold in my country.
Tomorrow - comments on part 2 of the survey. Antidisestablishmentarianism is not favoured!
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| The church is crumbling - Image by JasonRogersFotographie from here |
50% of the christians surveyed admitted the amazing revelation "No I don't consider myself a religious person", and 49% have not attended any ordinary religious services or meetings in the last 12 months. Two thirds of those had not even attended once in the last 10 years - the time since the previous census!
15% have never read the bible independently, 43% pray less frequently than once per year, and 18% do not even believe in the resurrection. 27% believe in astrology, and yet only 17% answered that they "believe in God and that Christianity is the only true way of knowing him".
At least 44% claim that "Jesus is the Son of God, the Saviour of mankind". However, that suggests that a majority do not believe in his divinity, and it is further revealed (although not divinely) that only 15% have "accepted Jesus as my Lord and Saviour".
When it comes to right and wrong, 8 times more christians look for guidance from their own inner moral sense, or the opinions of the family and friends than from religious teachings!
Remember - these are percentages of people who claimed that they ARE christians, not percentages of the population as a whole.
Perhaps less surprising, only 23% of these christians hold that "the bible is a perfect guide to morality and its teachings hold true today". This low percentage is, after all, a figure that is believable when you think of the behaviour of people who you know.
Of course it is dangerous to extrapolate these numbers to the rest of the population - the 46% who did not claim to have ticked the Christian box. It would be statistically incorrect to assume that none of the non-christians believed that Jesus is Lord and Saviour. Surely some do, but it can't be a large proportion.
All in all, these results pretty conclusively indicate that the government has no business assuming that 'Britain is a Christian country any more'. Christians of my acquaintance are getting quite worried about this.
My own worry is the Islam will get more of a foothold in my country.
Tomorrow - comments on part 2 of the survey. Antidisestablishmentarianism is not favoured!
Tuesday, 3 January 2012
A righteous brawl in Bethlehem
Priests and monks in the church at the spot that is alleged to be the birth place of Jesus have always had a hard time.
For a start, it is nearly obvious that Jesus wasn't born there at all, and that they have to convince themselves and the public that this form of 'lying for Jesus' is not a sin.
But the different denominations have also had to cooperate with each other to keep the place clean, and apparently the rights to clean particular areas are jealously guarded.
It seems that they have failed to maintain their composure this week. Armed with brooms the clergy of the Armenian and Orthodox movements have had a pitched battle.
What a way to behave in front of the public! Apparently injuries were 'slight.
For a start, it is nearly obvious that Jesus wasn't born there at all, and that they have to convince themselves and the public that this form of 'lying for Jesus' is not a sin.
But the different denominations have also had to cooperate with each other to keep the place clean, and apparently the rights to clean particular areas are jealously guarded.
It seems that they have failed to maintain their composure this week. Armed with brooms the clergy of the Armenian and Orthodox movements have had a pitched battle.
What a way to behave in front of the public! Apparently injuries were 'slight.
Saturday, 13 August 2011
Makes you want to dance!
Do you know how people practice sky-diving? In today's world they can go to a vertical wind tunnel where the floor is made of mesh and the air is blown up through the floor fast enough to blow you upwards.
So - you might think that is all there is to it, but just watch this video.
I watched it four times and it made me smile. The music made me smile too. You can see the obvious exuberance of one of the performers as he walks away at the end.
(Thanks to a tweet from @RichardWiseman)
So - you might think that is all there is to it, but just watch this video.
I watched it four times and it made me smile. The music made me smile too. You can see the obvious exuberance of one of the performers as he walks away at the end.
(Thanks to a tweet from @RichardWiseman)
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