I'm a Sucker

No, I didn't pick up the World War III "mini-series" (but if anyone who read them tells me they're any good, I still might).

No, I'm an idiot for buying Justice League of America #8. I had dropped the series with issue 6, when I figured that a Brad Meltzer Justice League just wasn't for me, but then they go and have a crossover with Justice Society of America, which I am enjoying, so I thought, what could be the harm?

Oy.

This comic pissed me off in so many ways that it's hard to know where to start. As always, the most frustrating thing about Meltzer's writing is that it is has so many good ideas running through it that my hopes get raised, only to be dashed against the rocks of piss poor writing. For example, this issue has a fist fight between BATMAN and KARATE KID! (EDIT: better link here.) Unfortunately, it happens ALMOST ENTIRELY OFF-PANEL so that Meltzer can devote nearly seven full pages to Arsenal being unable to play capture the flag without breaking his neck!

(Update: the fight is actually seen in Countdown #50, which published one month later)

Other things that pissed me off include (but are not limited to):

The cover.

Michael Holt, Mr. Terrific, is, in fact, smart enough to beat BOTH Black Canary and Green Lantern at chess blindfolded without resorting to a trick I learned when I was seven. That's the kind of stunt Robin should be pulling. When the World's Third Smartest Man does it, he just looks like a chump.

That two page spread of the two teams "just hanging" by Shane Davis is just awful. First off, if this is such an emergency that they called in the full roster of both teams in under twenty minutes, maybe they shouldn't be standing around swapping stories and drinking, god help me, espresso out of dainty cups. Then there's the blocking. Though the dialogue suggests they're just milling, they are all facing front and turning awkwardly to talk to each other. If this had just been broken up into four panels on each page, it could have looked so much better.

And then there's the mis-characterization on that page. I know Meltzer has a reputation for "knowing" these characters, but he doesn't seem to here. Why is Stargirl gushing over Wonder Women? They've met before. Heck, they've eaten Thanksgiving dinner together. Twice! Why's Black Canary shutting down her old boyfriend Dr. Mid-Nite? He's giving her a compliment, not hitting on her. Why does Power Girl know Batman's real name? And for the love of God, why is Hawkgirl self-conscious about being at a JSA/JLA team-up? This ain't her first rodeo!

But all of that pales, PALES, in comparison to that last page. (Once again, I lament the lack of a scanner and ask for the aid of someone else in the blogging community. Thanks, uh, Wizard!)


Honestly, it's like a When Fangirls Attack nightmare. Ostensibly, it's supposed to show off the two new chairpersons of the JLA and the JSA, with the kicky awesomeness that both are former Birds of Prey! Yeah, you've come a long way, babies!

But let's face it, that's not the way it plays, is it? First, there's the sub-Greg Land photo referenced faces, which don't match the bodies they're attached to. They're not porn faces, exactly, but Power Girl's come-hither glance and lush, slightly parted lips don't scream leadership either. Black Canary's okay... but she's literally pushed into the background by Power Girl's swinging hips and bulging chest. Are these the leaders of the greatest heroes on Earth, or a couple of party girls?

And then there's the head shots. I know the roll call's traditional, but the five squares with question marks in them makes it look less like a comics page and more like a JLA/JSA fighting game with unlockable Legion of Superhero characters...

... nevermind, I would totally buy that game...

No, what pissed me off was the JSA roll call. Obsidian isn't on it! It's bad enough he was reduced to "wallpaper duty" in the first four issues of Justice Society, now he isn't even on the team? That sucks! Where the hell is he? Where's Todd Rice?

... oh, he's over here in Manhunter. Oh good. Now there's a title that's worth the price!

Queer Eye Has Gone Too Far!

(For Ragnell)

MANHUNTER PREVIEW

So it wasn't in the solicitations, but using my super double secret sources, I have obtained a preview image of the villains that Manhunter Kate Spencer will be facing when her title returns in November. Having, unfortunately, killed or crippled most of the villains she's faced so far, she will have to face a new challenge.

Well, new to her. This gang of macho men, who revel in their misogyny, has been around since the 30s! Who could it be? Surely not...

Oh no! Not them! Not now!

Not the...

Reviews!

Y'know what I haven't done on this blog? Review the comics I buy every week.

Maybe it's time to start.

52 #15: First off, no, I don't think he's really dead. Everything about the death, from its (mostly) off-panel nature, to the hinky nature of the body (head skeletonized but the costume's intact?), to the hard-sell "he's dead, he's dead he's dead" copy of the cover, plus 52 has three established escape routes (time travel, cloning, and the resurrection cult), makes me think being fried in a nuclear explosion is a minor set back for Michael Jon Carter.

Otherwise, another solid issue of the most ambitious superhero comics project hitting the stands. Any issue with the Question gets the thumbs up. Any issue with the Question punching a guy in the face so hard he makes it concave goes right to the top of the list. And Booster Gold as loser superhero is a riot, even in death.

100 Bullets #75: The jazz of comics. This issue feels like vamping, varying a theme we've seen before without giving us the payoff, but nobody plays better than Azzarello and Risso. I feel like I should review issues like these five months later, because it's not until Azzarello brings back a character, a plot point, or even a painting at a crucial moment later that I realize how good a job he did of introducing it in the first place.

Manhunter #25: Good, but not as good as Manhunter #24. I think the cancelled/not cancelled events hurt this issue specifically. The Sweeney Todd plot is wrapped up without us ever knowing who he really is or how he came to be, as if Andreyko realized he only had one issue to tie up a major plotline, but changes made to set up the next 5 issues denied the sense of closure that a good last issue has. Thing #8, for example also seemed like Dan Slott was cramming a lot in because it was the last issue, but it ended with a satisfying sense of "that's that."

NextWave #7: Believe you me, I will be shouting "YES! I have a hundred of the Earth dollars" next time I'm at at the ATM.

Robin #153: Count me as on board the Beechen OYL Robin. It's been a fun title full of street level superhero action and interweaving plotlines. But I will say that Tim is massively dickish to Owen in this issue. True, Owen is the son of the man who killed Tim's dad, but he's also the son of the man whom Tim's dad killed, AND Owen has no idea that either of those things are true. I can't tell if that's bad writing (Tim's usually more level headed than this) or good (his dad, girlfriend, step-mom, and best friend all killed within a year, maybe Tim's not dealing with it as best he could).

And in an effort to expand my reading, I picked up three recommended titles I hadn't before:

The Boys #1: I learned nothing in this issue that I didn't get in the five-page preview up on the DC web-site. And in fact it looked better in the preview than it did on the page, particularly the coloring. So I can't recommend actually paying three bucks to get the same amount of enjoyment you could for free. However, I loved that preview, so I will be back for issue #2, where the story looks like it will actually start.

Casanova #3: It's interesting, as all double agent stories are, about where loyalties lie and what's the right move. But there might be too much going on as well, because there's also parallel worlds, evil twins, and this multi-face thing floating around. Will definitely be back for #4, though.

Checkmate #5: Maybe this wasn't the issue to jump on. It's a transitional issue, where characters literally stop to catch each other up on what happened in the last four issues and what they expect to happen in the next four. And the main recruitment plot, while well done, feels a little cliched (including having "terrorists" kidnap and torture recruits just to see who holds out the longest). So this may go back on the shelf.

Jim Corrigan for the Defense

When it comes to discussions of vigilantism, I mean, superheroes, the question always comes up, "Why doesn't he just KILL him?"

Now, besides the fact that it deprives your ongoing series of a good villain, there's also the fact that a lot of people are anti-death penalty, including Batman and me.

I'm not talking about shooting criminals in self-defense or the defense of others (rabid dogs need to be put down), or in the middle of a war. That's fine, justifiable, and darn exciting storytelling. But EXECUTING captured criminals to keep them from escaping and killing again? I just don't hold with that.

Except for this guy:



But he has three major advantages over, say, Manhunter or the Punisher.

One, he's the wrath of God. So there's no question about his authority. God put him in charge, it's God's universe to do with as the Presence wishes, you can't really argue with that.

Two, he's omniscient. So there's no question of his accuracy. The Spectre will never kill an innocent man. No later DNA evidence will exonerate the executed. No false alibi will hide the true criminal. No confession gotten out of duress will convince the Spectre of anything other than the truth. If you're innocent, he knows. And if you're guilty, he REALLY know.

Three, he's dead. So there's no question of his impartiality. The world holds nothing of interest to a man with no body and no real connection to the living. He cannot be bribed. He cannot be threatened. He will not kill a man simply because he does not like him, or his kind of people. He will not increase executions so he can seem tough on crime. He will not decrease them to show concern for a minority group. An intelligence without a physical, fallible brain, the Spectre may be the single most rational being on the planet.

Only a being with the proper authority, absolute knowledge of the murder, and complete disinterest in the outcome of the event should be allowed to say who lives and who dies. Everyone else WILL make a mistake eventually (I cannot believe that the Punisher hasn't killed an innocent person at least once).

Plus, the Spectre gets all creative when he kills people. Anyone can just shoot a guy in the head, or break a neck. It takes someone pretty vicious to turn a doll collection into hungry zombies.

Tuesday Night Recommendation #5

The one you've been waiting for.



Manhunter

Manhunter

Manhunter

Manhunter

Manhunter

Manhunter

Get it?

Wednesday Night Recommendation #3

but first a few notes:

I got scared off recommending comics because the last time I recommended a comic, you fuckers actually listened to me and it was SOLD OUT by the time I got to the store! ...the Hell?

So great, go out, buy the comic I recommend and support quality work. But don't buy MY COPY!

Also, Manhunter has been uncancelled! Yay! That means you now have a chance to be a hero. The next issue comes out in two weeks. In the meantime, pick up the trade. It's a good intro to the main characters, and you get to watch her male secretary openly hit on Hawkman. Plus, if it sells well, they might put out a second trade, which might sell well, and the whole series could be saved by the trades.

But getting back to this week, there's not a lot I can safely recommend that actually needs help, so I'm going to recommend something a little different.

Jonah Hex #8



Not only is it an easy book to get into, considering each issue is a self-contained story, and all you need to know about Jonah Hex you get by just looking at him.

But it's also NOT a superhero comic. It's an honest to goodness western comic about a bounty hunter in the old west put out by one of THE major comic book publishers. If it does well, it might encourage DC to try even more genres. Sure they'll stay in the pulp adventure range to begin with (crime fiction, space adventure, war stories, maybe even some pirate yarns) but maybe it will lead them to branch out (hospital dramas, medieval romances, low-key character comedies).

So support diversity. Buy Jonah Hex!

Or else he'll shoot you.

Where Was I Again?

Huh, look at that. A month and a half.

If you've been wondering where I've been...

Okay, you haven't been wondering where I've been, because if you're reading this you probably followed a link from a comment I left on your site. It's easy to post a comment from work (shh) but more difficult to write a real post, particularly if I want to use images. Still trying to figure my blogging schedule (one a day, right?) and wondering if I should get a scanner.

But enough blogging about blogging. Today I want to talk about the "unjustly" cancelled. Two titles I enjoy, two titles I learned about because other bloggers recommended them, were cancelled today. The Thing and Manhunter.

Now, am I upset that these titles are cancelled? Yes. They were fun, and knowing that I won't have much more fun with them is disappointing. Am I upset with Marvel and DC for canceling them? No. Both titles had abysmally low sales despite critical acclaim, and despite the opinions of some, comic book companies are not in the business of keeping your imaginary friends alive. They are in the business of making money.

Do I even blame the fans who bought every X-Men comic, just to complain about how horrible their X-Men comics are? Nope. Because they don't know better. I blame myself. Why?

Because I didn't do enough to get other people to buy these books. I could have recommend them. Well, not here, 'cause no one's reading yet. But on my other blog, which some people read. (Eeek, I need to update that, too).

I have friends who are only sorta-kinda into comics. I could have told them about it. Spammed my friends with the latest book they just had to try. Heck, I could have been the crazy guy in the store, shoving copies of Ex Machina and Y-the Last man into people's hands. (Okay, those books don't need my help, but they're quality books nevertheless).

So once a week, I'm going to make my Tuesday Night recommendation. I will look at what's coming out tomorrow, and based on mostly pulling things out of my ass, I will tell you what to get. Just one issue. All it'll cost you is 3 bucks. That's like giving up half a Big Mac. For quality entertainment, it's not a bad investment.

Besides, you could lose a few pounds.

Ads

I bought four comics today (reviews to come).

While I enjoyed all four, what caught my eye the most was what I found on the back of the DC books this week:

A Ponitac Solstice ad.

A car ad. For a $20,000 car. On the back of a Batman comic book.

Someone, somewhere, thought that someone reading Batman, or Manhunter, or, (I'm guessing) Robin might be in the market for a mid-range priced car.

About time. About time someone put money down on the proposition that adults read superhero comic books. Successful adults at that.

As I was leaving the local comics store, I passed three men in business suits. There were lots of people in the store, coming from a range of socio-economic backgrounds. I'm not sure everyone in the store could afford to buy a car, but they were all old enough to drive one.

Compare that to She-Hulk. The plot is about a rape trial, which is a perfectly good plot for the book. But the ads are for candy, video games, action figures, and more candy. The ad going for the oldest demographic is The Benchwarmers, the latest Rob Schneider movie, which is capping out at 15, most. If you're young enough to want a Ring-Pop, you're not old enough to read this book.

So for all out moaning that comics aren't just for kids anymore, and haven't been for decades, nothing will really change until more people are willing to put their money where there mouth is and pony up the dough. So the Pontiac ad is a good start.

One day I honestly hope to see a comic book with ads for shaving equipment, retirement options, and Viagra pills. Maybe then I'll believe comics aren't just for kids.