Jaw Dropping

HO. LEE. CRAP.

I got some comics this week that just FLOORED me.

Okay, Amazons Attacks #3 kind of treaded water and The Boys #8 had nothing like the first page of The Boys #7. And the most shocking page of Wonder Woman #10 was the DC Nation page where Matt Idelson is still asking what to do about late books in a book that's two weeks late, edited by Matt Idelson. Nice.

But the OTHER books I got were fast moving books chock full of character and plot, that then socked me in the gut.

She-Hulk 19, the one with the amazing cover, not only has a brilliant and surprisingly action packed trial of the villainous Leader, it also features the long in the works resolution of the She-Hulk/Jen Walters duel identity issue that's been the under current since Dan Slott's first issue three years ago. But I wasn't prepared for that last page reveal, the final fate of Stu Cicero, the comic book nerd too smart for his own good. What horror!

And Blue Beetle #16 is a running battle between Eclipso and Traci 13, last seen in Azzarello and Chang's mindblowing Dr. 13 back-up, with Blue Beetle caught in the middle. From the groan inducing pun title to the surprise call back to 52 (Remember 52? The weekly series everyone liked?) to Eclipso refusing to take the blame for something its host body, Jean Loring, did, this title is a hoot and a half. So I was not prepared when Eclipso unleashed "the THE MONSTER WITHIN THE BLUE BEETLE". I just did not see that coming, yet it made so much sense.

But of course, the real shocker this week, and my hands down pick, was Green Lantern: Sinestro Corp Special. How good was this issue? Well let me put it to you this way: out of curiosity I picked it up to read in the store, and was so impressed that I felt I ought to buy it AND buy Green Lantern and Green Lantern Corps, which I don't usually get, just because I HAVE TO KNOW what happens next.

And you know what, that's a great feeling. Well played, DC, well played.

It's a great jumping on book. Like I said, I haven't been reading any Green Lantern title, but I didn't need to because Geoff Johns has filled the book with expository dialogue. There is literally only one important character who isn't named and explained, and even he's introduced in the backstory.

And stuff happens! More stuff happens in one issue than Brad Meltzer's entire Justice League run. Seriously, a plot is investigated, a hero is captured and tortured, an immense army is discovered, Oa is attacked, villains (plural) escape, and the big bad behind it all is revealed, and it's not who you think (unless you're Diamondrock who called it some time ago).

And then there are those shocks. Yes, it's Johns's weakness to go to sudden, bloody violence, but damn if the attack on Oa didn't get real involving real quick, and the most disturbing moment was actually the least bloody, just many rings flying away to look for new Lanterns.

And the villains. Okay, some were given away in the ads, some were extremely guessable, but one or two I just did not see coming, or rather, coming so soon! Stuff happens in the book I thought would wait until the end of Countdown, but it happens here and I just don't know what's going to happen next. I really don't know how our heroes are going to get out of this one, particularly considering that last page spread, that grouping of monsters and gods, and just who is bowing to whom.

But the most surprising moment of all?

The acorn on page 36.

Scene From A Funeral

[from the cover of Countdown #43, on sale in a week]



ROBIN: Okay, Wonder Girl, I've kept my eyes closed, what's the big surprise?

WONDER GIRL: Mmm, you smell so good.

R: I know.

WG: No, really. Really good. Strong.

R: It's Bat-Cologne. Now what's the surprise?

WG: Okay, open your eyes.

R: Oh. Oh god. Is, is that the Flash?

WG: Yes. Robin-- Tim. Bart is dead.

R: I know. They called me.

WG: They called you?

R: Well, ye--

WG: And they didn't call me?

R: You were busy. Fighting the Amazons. Or on the side of the Amazons. We weren't sure. How is that going, by the way?

WG: Don't change the subject. You knew?

R: Cassie, it happened two weeks ago. Jeez, look what they did to him. Burned and frozen and fried.

BEAST BOY: Yeah, but it was all the kicking that did it.

R: Oh hey Gar. Did you arrange this?

BB: Yeah...

R: Couldn't you have given him a closed casket funeral?

BB: ...

WG: Oh Tim! Another one of us is dead.

R: I know.

WG: First Superb--

BB: Shhh!

WG: I mean, Conner. Now Bart. Oh, why me?

R: Hey, I lost them too--

WG: But I loved them!

R: Are we really going to play this game?

WG: What game?

R: Whose life sucks more?

WG: You can't understand what I'm going through!

R: Are you sh**ing me? In the last few years, I've lost Bart, and Conner, and my FATHER, and my STEP-MOTHER, and my GIRLFRIEND, and my OTHER girlfriend, not to mention a whole CITY! What have you lost? You're a daughter of Zeus and a Wonder Woman-in-training: what do you care about us mortals?

BB: Tim, I understand. I lost my mother a few years ago...

R: Yeah? So did I, b****, but yours came back, didn't she?

BB: ..she might be crazy...

SPEEDY: I have A.I.D.S.

WG: Yes, we know.

S: No, guys, I mean, I have A.I.D.S. I'm dying. I'm going to be next.

R: Oh jeez, thanks. Like I wasn't depressed enough.

[Pause]

WG: Oh, I have an idea!

R: No.

WG: You didn't even let me tell you--

R: You want to bring Bart back from the dead.

WG: Well, why not?

BB: Because last time you tried to do that, you were brainwashed by a cult for a year and then later fell for a homicidal bizarro clone.

WG: But this time is different. THIS time we'll... we'll all hold up lighting rods! Yeah, and when the lightning hits our rods the energy will flow through us and give Bart back his life!

[Pause]

BB: Cassie, that is the f***ing stupidest idea I have ever heard.

WG: Can I help it if I want to do something? I'm losing friends left and right. Who will I lose next? What if it's Anita, or Greta? Oh my god, what if it's Cissie? Oh, how could I ever replace Arrowette?

S: Hey!

WG: Or when... A.I.D.S.-Lass here finally buys it, are we just going to let that happen too?

R: Cass, calm down.

WG: No, I will NOT calm down. You're right. I'm a goddess.

BB: Demi-goddess.

WG: I've been to Hell. I've punched Hades in the face. I have the power to do something about this and I WILL!

[WONDER GIRL flies away]

CYBORG'S CROTCH: That's not going to end well. Should we say something?

RAVEN'S CROTCH: Shhh! If we keep quiet, maybe they won't notice us.

When is a Superhero Not a Superhero?

Justice League of America #12: Brad's Meltzer's fantastic run on the JLA concludes with a shocking cliffhanger! “Monitor Duty" is an amazing day in the lives of the world's greatest heroes, as only the League’s artist Ed Benes could envision!

This solicitation neatly sums up what's wrong with Brad Meltzer's Justice League of America, careless typo included.

First, "concludes... with a cliffhanger"? Does someone need to teach Brad (or whoever's writing DC solicitations) what "concludes" means?

Second, and more to the point, the big concluding issue is a Day in the Life story?

It's not that I have a problem with Day in the Life issues, they can be great. The first issue of Astro City is a Day in the Life of the Samaritan. Joe Kelly's first issue on JLA was a fun Day in the Life story. It's a good way to show what superheroes are like when they're not on a life and death mission, when they're just hanging out or dealing with more mundane problems. Day in the Life issues can display hidden depths to characters and humanize superhumans. They are great sources of exposition and as such belong at the beginning of the run!

But Meltzer's entire run has been day in the life stories. What superheroes are like when they aren't acting like superheroes. And it just doesn't work.

It doesn't work because most of the characters in the Justice League already have their own book (or two) to get character work done (and the ones that don't don't belong in the League).

It doesn't work because dwelling on the character stuff needlessly decompresses the story, spreading a two issue plot over six issues, losing narrative drive and reader interest at the same time.

And it doesn't work because the low stakes interpersonal drama ("uh oh, Power Girl wants to kiss Hawkman") looks pretty petty in comparison to the high-stakes superhero drama ("A giant moth is eating Earths' history!").*

I should say I actually enjoy Meltzer's take on superheroes, that the battles are vicious but extremely fast, leaving a lot of time to stand around, talking about books or playing capture the flag, in the right books. I liked his run on Green Arrow, about a man putting his life back together, and even appreciated how Identity Crisis focused on the emotional cost of a single murder; in stark contrast to way casualties in the thousands are usually forgotten by the end of most crossovers. So I might check out whatever he does next.

But Justice League is just not the book for him. It's the crossover action book of the DC Universe about heroes coming together to save lives, and if they are NOT actively engaged in saving lives most of the time, then I don't want to read about it.

I am eager to hear who the new writer for the Justice League will be, what his or (please please please please please) her plans for the team are, and how quickly they'll drop Geo-Force, Vixen, and Red Arrow from the team.


*I have a similar complaint with "24", where people keep wanting to interrupt Jack's search for today's nuclear weapon to talk about their feelings.

Siegel and Shuster's Greatest Creation!

Ever wonder where Batman learned to do that thing where he hits thugs with other thugs?

SAM "SLAM" BRADLEY: Cracking Skulls With Skells since 1937!

What's This?

The advance solicitations for DC's August books have a few things that caught my eye. For example:

ACTION COMICS #854, it’s a desperate battle for Superman, a turning point for Jimmy Olsen, and a deadly radioactive threat for Metropolis! Will Mr. Action live or die? And what will the future hold for Krypto? Plus: giant monkey!

THE ALL-NEW ATOM #14, Ryan Choi, Donna Troy, Jason Todd and Bob the Monitor continue to search the Nanoverse for Ray Palmer.

METAL MEN #1
Written by Duncan Rouleau
Art and cover by Rouleau
... But the greatest threat lies in Le Cabinet Noir and its bid to control the natural order using dangerous lieutenants like the Nameless, an armored being that feeds off the blood of the innocent and controls the Gogoloth, giant stone Golems made of Granite, Bizmuth, Onyx and Lime.

Giant monkey? Bob the Monitor? And an all new Metal Men series featuring Evil Metal Men?


Did someone at DC miss the memo? Superheroes aren't supposed to be fun!

"Fun" doesn't sell. Superhero comics are supposed to be set in the real world and feature shocking revelations that change everything forever.

Who wants to read about giant radioactive monkeys? Or cosmic beings with surprisingly mundane names? Or personable robots on insane adventures fighting giant monstrous beings?

Besides me, I mean.

Bat-Mite Vs. The '90s!

As long as I'm on this kick, let me just enter my favorite moment from World's Funnest into The Ring:

The set-up, omnipotent loser fan boy and physical embodiment of the silliness of the Silver Age, the Bat-Mite, fleeing a cosmicidal Mr. Mxyzptlk, crashes into the DC Universe, circa 1999, as over-rendered by Doug Mahnke:


To say he's displeased with the state of superheroes is perhaps a gross understatement:


Really, Lobo never stood a chance:

The Character of New York City

One of the tropes of superhero comics is that the hero and his city reflect each other.

Scipio Garling at the Absorbascon has written extensively about the fictionopolises of the DC Comics world, the imaginary cities that, over time, have established themselves as architectural echoes of their protectors: the neo-futurist Metropolis is home to the Man of Tomorrow; cloud enshrouded gothic Gotham is haunted by Dark Knight; Central City has the wide open spaces needed for a hero who can encircle the Earth in under a second; even the quiet and pastoral Smallville reflects the hopeful and nostalgic Adventures of Superman when he was a Boy.

This theme is an updating of the more classic trope that the king embodied the country he ruled, and as he faired, so faired the kingdom. L'État, c'est moi, as King Louis once said.

But what of the Marvel heroes, the ones who work a) in real places and b) almost entirely in New York. How can New York BE Spider-Man AND Iron Man, Daredevil AND Dr. Strange, and each member of the Fantastic Four as well?

Well, Stan Lee, Jack Kirby, and Steve Ditko did something very clever: they carved up New York and placed their heroes in the neighborhoods that fit best:

Industrialist Iron Man is a leader of Wall Street;

Dr. Strange has the sweetest Greenwich Village bachelor pad and lifestyle ever;

Daredevil fights on the side of the angels in Hell’s Kitchen;

And Spider-Man’s at his very best as the hero of Queens.

And the Fantastic Four, well that’s extra clever. While the Baxter Building fits neatly into the Mid-Town collection of art deco skyscrapers, the members of the team reflect New York's four boroughs.* Ben Grimm is Brooklyn-born and bred; hot-head Johnny Storm is a Yankees fan and ladies man like any Bronx boy aspires to be, motherly Sue Storm fits into the more residential Queens (and I'm guessing is a Mets fan, just to annoy her brother), and is there a better name for a Manhattan-ite than “Mr. Fantastic”?

Later writers would add Luke Cage, Hero for Hire of Harlem, and the Punisher, scourge of Sheepshead Bay. And with each story, with each issue, the city would gain more and more personality, more and more character, until it seemed to breathe.

Which is why I think it’s kind of silly when fans and Joe Quesada insist Marvel Comics take place in “the real world.” The Marvel Universe just isn’t real. Not just that super-powered soldiers and alien invasions would warp the course of history, but by their very legendary nature, superheroes imbue any city they exist in with mythic qualities.

When seen through the mask of Spider-Man, New York becomes a fictionopolis, a place as alive, as full of personality and absurdity and horror and hope as any Metropolis, as any Gotham.

When Spider-Man swings through Manhattan, New York lives!


* “Jon, everyone knows Staten Island doesn’t count.”

What's this fight doing over here?

Remember last month when I was bitching about not actually seeing the Batman/Karate Kid fight in Justice League #8? Well, look what shows up, just in time for Friday Night Fights!

Those are from the preview of Countdown #50. And as sweet as it looks, I kind of wish I had seen this fight in the book I actually paid money for to see it in, not in a separate book I didn't even know was related. That's dirty pool, DC!

Monitoring the Set

So now I've actually read Countdown #1, erm, #51 and I'm just not sure I'm on for the ride, which seems to be the general consensus.

I mean, I liked 52. I like Paul Dini. The art's pretty good. So what's wrong?

I think the problem is the Monitors.

As a concept, I've never liked the Monitor. Not only did he have a name that might as well have been "Not-the-Watcher", but DC Comics already had an omniscient expositor, and he's got better fashion sense. Furthermore, while I like continuity, I don't like stories that are about continuity, and the Monitor was entirely about was protecting continuity (or, as he called it, "reality").

So I wasn't exactly thrilled to see that the new multi-verse comes with a complete set of Nu-Monitors.


Yes, as Diamondrock points out, the Monitors act as continuity cops, correcting confusing continuity errors... "with EXTREME PREJUDICE!" < wailing guitars > But they won't, as he hopes, reduce the "porousness" of the multi-verse since any story with the Monitors will feature someone jumping between worlds, if only to get shot. By their very existence, the Monitors will only increase the porousness. Similarly, stories with the Monitors will increase the number of stories that are about the existence of the multi-verse, rather than simply set in it.

And Countdown looks like it's going to follow the same pattern. Andrew Hickey, at his new Countdown Blog, points out that the characters featured in the first issue, and those slated to appear, are the stress points of DC continuity: characters that are "supposed" to be dead, like Jason Todd and those whose histories contradict "official" canon, like Duela Dent, which implies the story will be about their status as continuity question marks.

Which could not interest me less. Stories intended to solve continuity problems, turning editorial errors into story engines, also turn compelling characters into walking plot points. Donna Troy is not interesting because her origin got screwed up by constant re-writes. She's interesting in spite of it (if she's interesting at all). So centering a plot on how much her background doesn't make sense is like...

It's like seeing a play with an amazing, intricate set. Something truly spectacular to look at. But the play itself is just characters talking about the set, either how pretty it is or how bizarre or just detailing how each piece fits together. As a guy who built sets in college, sure, I might find it interesting to know how it was built, but I'm not sure I could stand the characters in the play just gabbing about it and nothing else for two hours, with a fifteen minute intermission.

And all the Monitors seem to do is walk onto sets, shout "That tree is made out of cardboard!" then shoot the first character who knocks down the 2-D tree.

Maybe it's too soon to make the call, and I will pick up the next issue (especially since it looks like it features Jimmy Olsen vs. Dini's take on the Joker). But I know that 52 wow'ed me AND set up its theme of change in its first issue; and Countdown just didn't. So before I can commit another $150 dollars and a year's time to this thing, I need to know it's about more than just cardboard cut-outs.

The Plain Janes—It's "Mean Girls" meets "V for Vendetta"

And I'm only half joking about that.

Yes, though nefarious means (i.e. someone in DC Publicity handed it to me), I obtained a galley copy of The Plain Janes, the first graphic novel from DC Comics' new imprint for teen girls, MINX.

Personally, I think that MINX as a concept is a very good idea. Expanding the comic book reading audience to be as inclusive as possible, with as much variety of content as possible, is critical to the long term success of the medium, AND only DC Comics really has the resources and commitment to successfully back such a venture. Of course, actually attracting a new audience depends entirely on the quality of the content produced.

Fortunately, if this book is indicative of what's to come, I think they are off to a good start.

Right away, it's clear that this book is not another superhero book or even another Vertigo book, shrunk down and repackaged. And it's not American manga, either. It's its own animal.

Cecil Castellucci writes a compelling and charming story about Jane, the new girl at school, and how her crazy scheme of guerilla artwork unites the other outcasts, coincidentally also named Jane, and eventually the entire school. Though it is her first graphic novel, Castellucci is not over wordy but allows Jim Rugg's simple and expressive art do most of the storytelling. Rugg is particularly apt at drawing teen girls that actually look like teen girls, while remaining visually interesting and distinct from one another, particular the Janes.


And though the general plot is a little bit cliched, it's clear from page one that there is more going on than just high school melodrama. Layered into the story are questions about the value and purpose of art and the compromises between freedom and security we deal with in a time of terrorism (handled much better and more complexly than some other comics series I know).

Castellucci's best writing is in the narrator, "Main" Jane. Jane's struggle to find her identity in the wake of a traumatic event makes her entirely sympathetic, but she never comes across as self-pitying or morose. And though she shows a lot of maturity about the world, she remains at all times a teenager, impulsive, passionate, and sometimes overwhelmed by her emotions.

The supporting characters, however, are more two-dimensional (the other Janes, for example, refer to themselves as "BrainJayne," "TheatreJane," and "SportyJane," like Spice Girls). They remain fun and empathetic, but we never really get to know them outside of what Main Jane thinks about them.

Two characters that stand out are Jane's overprotective mother and James, "president, secretary and treasurer of the Queer Club" and the only openly gay boy in school. Jane's Mom (who's never given a real name) may be irrational in her fears and a hindrance to Jane's social life, but we know why her mother is so scared and understand that her concerns come from her love for her daughter, making Jane's Mom tragically poignant. And while I thought I was going to hate James as a token and stereotypical character, he surprised me with his bravery, honestly, and lovability. He steals every scene he's in.

My only real complaint about the book is that it kind of ends abruptly. It feels like there's a lot of story left to tell when The Plain Janes finishes, even if it does climax with a fairly strong resolution. I guess I just didn't want it to end, which isn't that bad at all.

All in all, I think The Plain Janes is a great kick off book that firmly establishes MINX as an imprint for girls looking for meaning in art, looking to improve the world, and, maybe, looking for a little bit of anarchy.

I think this could work.

Is it 2008 yet?

Grant Morrison does an exit interview for 52 and lets a few cats out of the bag:

The same pitch also introduced two new Japanese pop-culture inspired superteams - the venerable monster-huntin' crew of Big Science Action and the Super Young Team (whose members include Most Excellent SuperBat, Big Atomic Lantern Boy and Shy Crazy Lolita Canary) - both of which will appear in my next big DCU project in 2008....

...Doc Magnus' Plutonium Man will probably turn up again in the forthcoming Metal Men series....

...If you miss Vic Sage as the Question, you should be able to follow the adventures of Vic's counterpart on the Charlton/Watchmen world of Earth 4...

That's right, the mother-f@#$ing WATCHMEN WORLD

There's also something about sex with a jellyfish. Oh just go read it.

Psycho-Changer, Qu'est Que C'est

One of the greatest advantages of long form, episodic storytelling is that characters develop over time as a natural reaction to their experiences. Rather than the sudden epiphany required in a two hour movie, a comic book character can, issue by issue, over years, progress through stages of growth.

Catwoman, for example, moved from thief with little conscience to someone who robs only from the rich to Robin Hood in black leather to out-and-out vigilante superhero—not over the course of one story but over two series running over 15 years! Such a well mapped progression gives a sense of character growth earned, an arc rewarded and a hero in the place she ought to be!

Which is why I really hate "psycho-changers," those plot devices that explain personality change as the sudden result of some external influence. Instead of personality changing as a natural reaction to personal experience, characters are bonked on the head with a coconut or exposed to "evil radiation" and suddenly they're jerks, murderous and wearing stupid emo haircuts. (Why yes, I did see Spider-Man 3 this weekend. Why do you ask?)

One of the many reasons I stopped watching Smallville was that the only times the characters changed at all was when they were hit with Kryptonite-infused pollen (or Kryptonite-infused bugs, or red Kryptonite, or black Kryptonite, or...) and suddenly they were adrenaline-seeking bad girls who dressed skankily or wanted to kill Clark. Why should the writers take the time to come up with a good, compelling reason teenagers would want to have sex or Lex Luthor would want to be evil, when there's Plotdevise-inite just lying around everywhere?

I mean, "psycho-changers" are okay for one-shot stories where they set-up otherwise impossible situations ("Oh no, Superman thinks he's Darkseid's son!") or are used as metaphors for internal struggles (one of fantasy's great strengths is that internal demons become external, where they are easier to punch in the nose). But when they are over-used or are used in place of real development, where the metaphor is dropped entirely, they become a major problem.

Particularly when the "psycho-changer" actually REPLACES real development (that some other writer took the time to create) with arbitrary excuses for new behavior. God forbid the loss of his entire city and almost everyone he knows drove Hal Jordan to try change history, no matter what the cost. That would, you know, make sense. Nope, he had to be infected with an alien parasite no one knew about before. (Also, all the people he killed are not actually dead.)

Or Cassandra Cain. Daughter of assassins. Trained from birth to be an assassin. Used by Batman more as a weapon than as a person. Never discovered her human side, no matter how hard she tried. Forced to fight her mother, over and over again, until she finally kills her. Disappears for a year. But what explains her trying to kill Robin?


Evil Serum!

But more annoying to me than the "psycho-changers" explaining why good characters went bad are the "psycho-changers" that explain why villains reformed. I watched Catwoman grow a conscience over a very long period of time. To say that her growth was not her own, but imposed on her by a meddling Zatanna, is to say that Catwoman couldn't have changed on her own.

The problem is that "psycho-changers" define personality as something constant and inert unless arbitrarily acted upon by fantastic forces. That rehabilitation is just as impossible as falls from grace. That some people are just born evil, and some are born good, and nothing short of alien intervention can change that.

In fact, personality is something that's constantly in flux. Are you the same person you were five years ago? Have you grown in anyway? Are you better? Are you worse? And is any of this change a result of brainwashing?

Guess Who's Back. Back Again.

My MySpace account finally pays off and I get a preview of DC's new weekly, Countdown.

And it looks like Darkseid's back, still playing with his HeroClix:


I mean, it's cool and all that Paul Dini and Co. are not being coy about who the bad guys are, and Darkseid's desire to be the architect of the new universe nicely ties this series into the underlying theme of 52, but it's hard to look at an Evil Space Tyrant looming over detailed models of his enemies and not think of this:

Tales of Earth-1

This post contains spoilers about 52 52, in case anyone cares anymore.

Anyway, the multiverse is back, as we all knew it would be since at least last November. A lot of folks are happy about the return of Earth 4, the Charlton Heroes, and Earth 5/S, the Captain Marvel-verse, Devon's excited about the Wildstorm books officially being incorporated as Earth-50, and Kalinara is excited about her proposed, gender-reversed Earth-25.

But the world I'm eager to see is Earth-1.

Rip Hunter explicitly states that there is "New Earth", the composite Earth most of the DC line are set in, and then there is "Earths 1-51". New Earth is the world we know; Earth-1 is something... else.

Presumably, it's the Silver-Age DC Earth. The world where the first superheroes were Batman and the Martian Manhunter. Where Hal Jordan was the first human called Green Lantern, and Jay Garrick is nothing but a beloved comic book character. It's a world where the Crisis on Infinite Earths never happened; where perhaps even Crisis on Two Earths never happened.

It would be a more stream-lined setting; almost entirely science fiction influenced, with most of its heroes receiving power from either lab accidents or alien sources. It would jettison a lot of confusing character history, so that Hawkman would finally MAKE SENSE! (also: Wonder Girl).

It wouldn't necessarily be a better place to set most of the stories. I prefer the crazy, mixed up jumble that is the Post Crisis universe, but Earth-1 would still be a fun place to visit, I think, for two main reasons:

1) Earth-1 would be far less shackled to the real world than even the normal DCU. This means you could explore how the world would be changed if an Atlantean, an Amazon, a Martian, a Space Cop, and a man who re-writes the laws of physics with every step have been policing the world since 1960.

and 2) It means that crazy, god-like bastard the Earth-1 Superman is still out there, playing tricks on his best friends to teach them lessons and winking at an audience that only he sees. I wonder what HE's been up to the last twenty years.

Uh Oh...

This post is only going to be relevant for the next 24 hours but it contains a heck of possible spoiler, so if you care, turn away now, otherwise join me after the jump:

Update: Well, that gets a big nevermind. It might still be relevant for a future storyline though, so I'm leaving it up.

Read more


Remember when Justice League of America #1 came out, and it was implied that Buddy "Animal Man" Baker didn't survive 52, and then he did die, and everyone was sad, and then he was brought back to life, and everyone was happy again?

Yeah about that...

This is a sketch of a deleted page from 52 #47:


Those are the Yellow Aliens who operate outside the DC Universe that gave Buddy his powers and saved his life, just after redirecting him through time and space to, basically, last week's issue. And at the bottom of the page one reassures the other by saying "Believe in Her"...

... which is the mantra of 52's new space tyrant, Lady Styx.

On the one hand, this is good. It elevates Lady Styx to the level of reality-threatening villain, putting her on par with Mr. Mind and the (surprisingly still) unnamed backer of Intergang. If she controls such Fourth Wall violating entities as the Yellow Aliens, then she could re-write the entire DC Universe. Hopefully that means 52 #52 will wrap up her storyline in a slightly more satisfying way than having Lobo chucking her into a Sun-Eater.

On the other hand, it also means Buddy got back to Earth where and when he did because Lady Styx wanted him to, which can't be good for him or any of the Bakers.

Now maybe I'm wrong, and maybe it was cut because it wasn't actually relevant, but the sketches revealed that Egg Fu was behind the missing scientists, so maybe I'm not.

I'm just saying, just because Buddy made it back to Earth, doesn't mean he necessarily gets a happy ending...


... then again, this is comics. No one gets an ending...

If This Be Doomsday...

So, as you may remember, I got into comics through, of all things, the death of Superman. It happens.

Anyway, I always thought it would make a pretty cool movie. Not the death itself, of course, which is just a brawl against a mindless monster and pretty predictable when the title is (spoiler alert) "The Death of Superman". But the "Return of Superman" was a lot of fun, with enough over-the-top action (the destruction of a city, four supermen against an army of aliens, Superman shattering the Cyborg) that it could translate to a cool roller coaster movie.

Well, it looks like someone agreed with me, um... sort of:

This cartoon actually seems kind of... odd to me. If it takes place in the DC Animated Universe, well, they've already done the "World Without a Superman" bit in a Justice League episode called "Hereafter," and Steel, at least, was introduced in Superman: the Animated Series. They've even already had Superman fight Doomsday. Twice.

Which means this movie is just going to repeat a lot of what's already been done, cut out the stuff that actually makes the story interesting, and make me pay $20 to buy it (or $4 to rent it, or I could NetFlix it, but you get the idea).

Now, I'm probably just being grumpy with not much to go on. The film is co-written by Bruce Timm and features the acting talents of some Joss Whedon alums, and the trailer does show a fully Fabio-ed Superman in the Black Costume, so maybe this thing is better than it seems...

But it isn't helped by the narration. I just get a creepy vibe by the leering way he says "See, Superman in love. See, Superman be dark and dangerous. See, Superman get the shit kicked out of him by a walking plot point!" Or the time spent lavinshing praise on the 70 minutes of EXTRA FEATURES (Note to future publicity people: "Extra Features" are enticing if and only the film they come from was any good to begin with). Or maybe it's just the portentousness of the narration feels more like the trailer to Comedian than like something I should take seriously.

Then again, Jerry Seinfeld would like it either way, I guess.

KRAK, KRAK, KRAK, THOOOMM!

The Roar of Comics steps into The Ring

"Quick, Eat the Children"

So Hippolyta turns to her top generals and says, "We're going to march on Washington D.C., slaughter their leaders, destroy their monuments, and kill one little boy."

There's some muddled confusion so Nubia steps up and asks "Why one little boy?"

And Hippolyta turns to Wonder Woman and says, "See, I told you no cares about Washington!"


Okay, so anyone who knows the original version of that joke knows I just did a bad, bad thing, but the point remains: no reader cares when they see Amazons blow up the capital building (which is certainly full of people) or invade the Mall by the tens of thousands. But kill one little child right in front of the reader, and everyone decries the violence present in Amazons Attack.

Or to put it another way, one dead child is a tragedy. One thousand dead children are a statistic.

I honestly don't get you people, sometimes. The ones that don't think such violence belongs in superhero comics. To me, that's just unfathomable. Superheroes use violence to protect people from extraordinary, fantastic threats. Those threats themselves have to be horrible. An army that has no mercy for children? There's a word for that... what is it? what is it?

Oh, I remember, "Bad Guys."

NEWSFLASH: The Amazons are the BAD GUYS of Amazons Attack. That's in case you didn't get it from the F*&^ING TITLE!

Within the first four pages, Will Pfeifer and Pete Woods establish the threat as a large, superpowered army that kills everyone they come across. We know what the Justice League is up against and why it NEEDS to stop them, immediately. That's called good writing.

And as for those who think that it's out of character for Amazons to be so warlike, all I have to say is, "ARE YOU HIGH?" The only consistent part of the myth of the Amazons is that they are a tribe of Warrior Women. Think Xena. Think the "Amazons" in Y, the Last Man.* Even if we limit it to DC Amazons, this was a tribe last seen pulling out the "Purple Death Ray" against a horde of invading OMACs. They do nothing but fight or train to fight! And considering they learned their combat strategy and tactics three thousand years before the Geneva Conventions, they're probably not taking many prisoners.

But maybe you just don't want to deal with the consequences of large scale violence on a personal level, or maybe you just don't want to think about children dying. I almost understand that, I guess. I suggest you read something more all ages appropriate, like Jeff Smith's Shazam: The Monster Society of Evil. Nothing bad happens to children there...

What?
Oh Dear!


*See, I do read non-superhero comics.

... One to Go

52 is coming to a close, so far it's been really satisfying. The pleasure of multiple plotlines is when they cross and merge, and with this week's revelations of what Evil Skeets is and what he wants, tying the Space Heroes to the Mad Scientists to Booster Gold, and with Renee Montoya, Will Magnus, and basically every superhero on Earth preventing Intergang's attempt to destroy the world in the last few issues, all the last issue has to do for me is explain what any of this has to do with Ralph Dibny's magical mystery tour or Lex Luthor's Everyman project.

Plotwise, that is. Thematically, I think I've got this egg cracked.

Over at the indispensable 52 Pickup, Douglas Wolk asks, "in a sentence, what's 52 about?"

And my answer is: "52 is about change, those that try to change the world, those that try to change themselves."

Thematically, global change vs. personal change is what ties the major plot threads together. Each plot features at least one character out to remake the world, whether it be Intergang with their Crime Bible, Lex Luthor and his mad dreams of Planet Lexor, Black Adam's "Freedom of Power" treaty, Lady Styx and her hunt for what the Space Heroes saw outside the universe, or Evil Skeets, whom I'll get to later. Even Ralph Dibny was trying to re-write the laws of the new age of magic to get his beloved wife back.

And they all failed. As they learned, real change can't be imposed from without. Anything that can be changed easily can just as easily be changed back, and difficult changes will be fought and rejected by the world itself. This is the pattern of DC's major crossover villains, from the Antimonitor to Parallax to Superboy Prime: they keep trying to destroy the universe in order to remake it as they want it to be, only to be beaten back by characters who refuse to go. (Ironically, it's always in storylines in which the writers and editors are specifically destroying the universe to remake it as they want it to be, only to see the changes they made undone with the next five years).

52 argues that change IS possible, though, but it has to come from within. Ralph can't bring back his wife, he can only become the hero he once was. Natasha has to build her own armor. Dr. Magnus rediscovers his inner mad scientist. And Vic Sage can't make Renee Montoya the new Question, she has to become The Question on her own.

It all comes back to transformation and the question "Who R U?"

Therefore... of course the caterpillar is the Big Bad of the series!

The villain of 52 had to be Mr. Mind, a character capable of making the personal change that Black Adam and Lex Luthor could not. Mr. Mind doesn't just change; he endures a literal metamorphosis! And it is only through metamorphosis that Mr. Mind can adapt to the new world (or worlds, I should say) before conquering it!

Doug Wolk worries that if you don't already know who Mr. Mind is, the reveal that he is Evil Skeets makes no sense. But I think it's a Fair Play Mystery. Mr. Mind's clearly seen in the very first issue, where Sivana talks about whether science or magic changes the world, and the image of his cocoon ominously ends both issue 3 and issue 10. Issue 39 even takes two panels out of the deployment of the Four Horsemen to introduce background info on Mr. Mind in a "We can't tell you why, right now, but this is important information" kind of way.

In a genre and medium famously criticized for the stagnancy of its characters and stories, it's nice to see a story devoted to the very idea of change, taking on new identities and new forms, growing from experience, or falling from grace. And in that context, a villain evolving before our eyes is the only kind of villain that makes sense!


Read More (spoilers)...

Transmetropolis

This Wordballoon interview with Greg Rucka (which is independently worth a listen for his thoughts on 52, Wonder Woman, and bringing Bucky back) ends with a discussion of the viability of a new Lois Lane-centric ongoing.

Rucka states the conventional wisdom, that setting a book in a superhero-universe without having a superhero lead is a non-seller, and points to his own critically praised but low-selling Gotham Central as proof. When the interviewer, John Siuntres, counters that a Daily Planet-ensemble book would still feature Clark "Superman" Kent and therefore might be viable, Rucka laughs it off, hoping that DC doesn't have the same idea, because while he'd love to write such a series, he just doesn't have the time.

Well, Greg, as much as I truly enjoy your work (and I do), I don't think you're the best writer for a Lois Lane ongoing. You have the characters you do well (i.e. Montoya), but Lois isn't a hard-drinking soldier dealing with a dead partner and a loss of identity.

Lois Lane is a driven, quick-witted, sharped tonged reporter with sometimes more brass than common sense dealing with real, topical issues set against a fantastic/science fictionopolis, and whose hard-bitten cynical exterior protects the surprisingly vulnerable heart of a true romantic. But, most importantly, Lois Lane takes crap from no one.

Which, let's face it, is Spider Jerusalem.


I know (my MySpace friend) Warren Ellis has that pesky "exclusive" contract with Marvel, but I honestly think he'd make a fantastic Superman writer, and an even better Lois Lane writer. Anyone who's read Transmetropolitan knows he can do the journalist hero; anyone who's read his run on The Authority knows he can do the super human action; and anyone who's read New Maps of Hell knows he has the Lois and Clark playful, competitive banter down cold. Their dialogue comes off as two people who both love each other and continually want to impress each other.

So what say you, Warren? Ready to give up writing "The New Adventures of Dark Speedball" in favor of "The Continuing Adventures of Lois Lane's Husband: Clark Kent"?

C'mon, Lois Lane deserves her own bowel disruptor!