Taco Bell/Head Painting

For those of you who don't know... Taco Bell is my meal of choice on the night before I start chemo.

Every round, I've had Taco Bell as my final meal before going in to get back on the juice.

So, tonight, it made the most sense to have Taco Bell, chips and ice cream for dinner at the Woods' house. With Kirk's family. And some head painting. ... Because I am, pretty much, the coolest cancer patient around.

Call it a blank slate, a bald pallete. Whatever you want.

We call it a good time. From youngest to oldest:

Kirk

Russell

Hazel

Monson

Maggie and Hazy

Dad's getting in on the action (and Cili's taking up permanent residence... watch for her in, pretty much, every single picture from here on out through the night... girl got seriously addicted to painting my bald head!)

Dad, me, Hazel, Maggie and Sally

Jo and Kirk, taking turns

Jo takes her head painting VERY seriously! 

(Whereas, I, clearly... do not. I got mocked tonight for my need to smile for EVERY picture. Who doesn't smile when they know their picture is being taken, is what I want to know?!)

Roomie, being hilarious. ... Or, uhm... ruling. (Whatever.)

Cili

Mag

Sally

Judy

Brett

Brett and Kirk both having some good times.

Another one of C and me

I can't believe we didn't get a shot of the other side of my head! (Because, I'm telling you, it was pretty sweet. Complete with a bucket of Blue Bell ice cream, courtesy of Russelbear, and other smiley face, since Jo and Kirk were, apparently, painting the exact same thing at the exact same time.)

It was a good night. I'm full of tacos and Sun Chips and rocky road ice cream. I'm so grateful that Jo and Dean totally let me invite my family over to their house whenever I want, and I love that there's an activity that all of the kids (both those who are actually young, and those who are young at heart) can get into.

The painting of the head is something I sort of stumbled across last spring when Hazel (jokingly, or maybe not...) asked if she could paint my head like an Easter Egg. (I love kids and their crazy imaginations.) Whatever it takes to make the kids okay with the baldness... it's the greatest equalizer ever. Cili, in particular, has always had a hard time with my baldness. (Sally, too. But it's hard for C on a different level.) But tonight, she was the one person who could not get enough of painting the fuzzy head. Two words: Worth it.

Whatever I can do to make the cancer, and the baldness, more fun. Not just for me, but for everyone else in my life.

BR2015

This past weekend was the third Ball Girl Baking Retreat.

Cousins and sisters from all over the country (erm... world, actually, since this year we got Beth to come from England) gathered in Orange County, California to bake our little hearts out in Aunt Deb's kitchen.

Left to Right

(rear): Debbie, Becca, Christie, Ginny, Carol, Cindy, Jeannette, Judy

(middle): Me, Rachel, Sabrina, Katie G, Brooke

(front): Lisa, Julie, Shelly, Beth, Kyla

We laughed, we cried, we baked, we ate, we talked, we napped, we told stories and then we ate some more. The Ball girls and the Gardner girls were in a day early, and both families had sister days on Friday. The baking and official cousin bonding commenced Saturday morning and ran through Sunday night. A few stragglers (myself and Judy, included) stayed through Monday (yay for bank holidays!).

Many thanks to Aunt Deb and Cousin Jeannette for splitting the cousins in half and hosting (18 women in attendance meant two households had nine extra people having sleepovers). It was a crazy busy weekend, full of English candy, baked goods, In-N-Out fries, all-I-could-eat Doritos, enchiladas, tacos, family recipes with a twist and beloved recipes that were shared.

I love my family, even more than I love food. (And I loved Becca's Cancer Cake a whole freaking lot, so that's saying something!)

Four months

It's one of my favorite days of the year!

That would be: International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

AKA: Get a Dozen Free Donuts if You Dress Up Like a Pirate and go to Krispy Kreme Day.

This morning (after having had a sleepover last night with Maggie (7) and Sally (5), during which very few people got any kind of decent sleep), the Wood kids and I (sans Roomie, because she had a soccer game and thinks her priority needs to be with her team and not with us and our glazed donut pirate booty - lame!) dressed up and went to claim our goods.

One dozen donuts per person in costume = 5 dozen donuts. That's 60 donuts for five people to eat, kids.

And while we didn't eat all 60 of them, we ate... a lot of them. Like, until we all felt sick.

It was a very awesome morning.

And then, this afternoon, I met back up with the Woods to see this Mormon movie.

And, you guys... IT WAS FUNNY.

As in, actually funny. Not just laugh-at-Mormon-culture, funny. (Okay, mostly it was that. But I think it would be funny even for people who don't know about camp songs or ridiculous, totally contrived, but still somehow effective spiritual object lessons.)

I laughed. I cried. I thought about my life, about the people I love the most and would do anything for (including putting myself right back on chemo, even though it made me wish I could just die, in case it'll give me more time with them... but that's a post for another time). And then I laughed again.

At one key moment, I had just taken a swig off my ever-present water bottle and something happened that made me laugh. I mean, out loud. ... After spitting my entire mouth full of water into my hands and then letting it fall into my lap. (It was a super full theater, and I didn't have any napkins. Or warning. What was I supposed to do? Spew water on the kids sitting in front of me? ... I felt like spitting it into my own hands and then dumping that popcorny spittle into my lap was the right thing to do.)

You guys. This movie is funny. If you live somewhere that you can see it (which, mostly, is... Utah), you should. It was a good time.

And, when the movie was over, I walked outside to see this. You can try all day long, from wherever in the world that you are, but I'm telling you straight up that you just can't beat an Arizona sunset.

Pirate costumes. Free donuts. Harkins popcorn. A movie that made me laugh and made me cry. All kinds of quality time with my favorite little weirdos. A gorgeous sunset.

Topped off with the fact that, as of today, I'm officially four months into the 3-6.

It's been a really good day. ... And, so far, I am winning.

TMM and BFF's

For those of you who may not be my FB friends to have seen the ongoing "dialogue", I give you...

I tell you what, I posted something on the facebook over the weekend that referenced Thoroughly Modern Millie, and Jenni and I've been going back and forth with movie lines ever since.

Gosh, I love TMM. Also, I love Jen. Also, I love that SHE loves TMM every bit as much as I do.

Like a squirrel, gathering the nuts of life...

Happy Day!

My summer plans

I keep having people ask what I'm doing this summer. As in, "Do you have any big plans this summer?"

You can hardly blame them. 'Tis the season and all.

This afternoon, I answered my hygienist honestly. I said, "I do, in fact, have big plans this summer. I'm going home for the 4th of July. I'm NOT having surgery, AND I'm not going to have to learn to walk again. For the first time since 2009, on all counts."

This summer's gonna be epic, in an I-have-absolutely-nothing-planned-but-that's-alright-because-I-don't-have-to-have-surgery-this-summer sort of way. Wahoo!

The pretzel party

Last Saturday, we had a half-of-the-family party (others were invited, but only 3 of us sibs and the parentals were able to make it).

I'd taken a plate of goodies over to Spence and Brea's at Christmas. Connor (one of the funniest kids I've ever known in my whole life) was enchanted with the carmel/chocolate dipped pretzel rods and asked if I would teach him how to make them. As I am a woman who will never say no to a child who wants to spend quality time with her (also, have I ever been known to turn down the opportunity to dip something in chocolate?), the pretzel party was born.

Timing is interesting. This party was planned the week of Christmas. I'd been thinking that the Saturday before last would be a better fit for me, but last Saturday was better for Brea - and since we were basically crashing her house, what worked best for her was the way to go. Little did I know, when this party was planned, that what I would be wanting (and needing) last Saturday was some good old-fashioned family fun - with plenty of dipping chocolate to go around.

We found out last Thursday that I have a new tumor. Brea texted me on Friday to ask if I was still up for the party. My answer? "ABSOLUTELY!" I wanted to be able to have some fun with the kids. I wanted them to know that even if I do have cancer, I'm still Aunt Laurie and I'm still A Good Time. (Yeah, in caps. Like that's a proper noun.) I needed the energy that I get from spending time with family, the warm fuzzies that only a hug from a child can give me ... and the sugar rush that comes of eating all things chocolate-dipped-and/or-covered for an entire afternoon.

It was a practically perfect day, in every way. We laughed, we cried, we watched the kids chase the rabbit. We talked, we worked, and we played in the kitchen. The kids jumped on the trampoline, climbed the tether ball post and rode bikes. The weather was great, the company was fantastic. It was an amazing day, and exactly what I'd wanted it to be.

Two of my nephews (Kirk and Connor, the 8 and 7 yr olds) huddled up to the table when no one else was around and asked me questions. "Does it hurt to have cancer?" "Are you scared?" "Will you die?" And I was able to answer them. "No, not yet. Right now my tumor is really little so it's not hurting me at all. They'll give me medicine that will make me sick, and that might hurt. And I might have to have another operation, and that will hurt. But right now, no, the cancer doesn't hurt at all." "A little bit, because I don't know what's going to happen to my body - but sometimes we have to do hard or scary things. I'll be okay." "No, I don't think so. I'll be sick, really sick, for a while. But I really don't think I'll die." - We agreed that it would be really sad if I died, because I am super fun and I did teach them how to make chocolate covered pretzels, and I promised to do my best to stay alive. I was really happy that my nephews, who are cousins - not brothers, felt like they could ask me questions about the cancer. I've been the kid who wanted to know if her aunt would die, and I've been grateful my whole life that when she was sick, she would talk to me about what was happening in her body. I love my nieces and nephews. Those sweet kids are the six best things in my life, and I'm so glad we'd already had this party planned before my world tipped on its axis.

Again, timing is an amazing thing. Spending time with family was exactly what I needed last weekend, and it was exactly what I got. In spades, it was what I got. Gosh, I love how things work out sometimes!

Here are some fun pics from the day:

Brea, me and Spencer. (I love how my brothers make me look short. Looooove it!)



We had four bowls of chocolate going at a time. The kids could choose pretzel rods, over-sized sourdough pretzels or the cute little mini's.



We had M&M's, Nerds, crushed candy cane, nuts and no less than ten different kinds of sprinkles to choose from. We worked like crazy, mad, chocolate-dipping fiends for about 10 minutes ... and then sent the kids outside to play while the chocolate hardened so they could eat what they'd made.



Here are Seth, Kirk and Russell, dipping pretzels to their hearts' content.



Hazel, grooving on the pink sprinkles...



Hillary, enjoying a white chocolate pretzel rod she'd made with her own hands.



Connor, who is a candy-loving fool and a bit of a creative genius when it came to seeing how much sugar he could lump onto one pretzel.



My sweet nieces are girls after my own heart. It was just them and me at the table at this point, and when Hillary asked me if she could have a pretzel from the big bowl, I told her she could have as many as she wanted. She looked at me like it was Christmas, and then dug right in. (The way I eat candy with wild abandon? It's genetic.) Check these girls out:



Man, I love my family! (Even more than I love chocolate, which is A LOT.) I love timing. I love how things always seem to work out, even (or especially) when I don't know how they will. I love knowing that my brothers and their families are close by - both literally and metaphorically - and that they're only a phone call away. I'm grateful for parents who'd drive 3 hours for a party and then stay for a sleepover to get in more time with my brothers and me. I'm grateful for family, for chocolate, and for memories. I'm grateful for those Mary Poppins ("practically perfect") days that come along every once in a while, but mostly I'm grateful for the people I get to share them with.