Getting anxious.................

Oh dear! I just came back from an interview cum presentation to convince a committee that a certain work needs to be done to prevent from certain problems from arising in the future.

I spoke clearly and I thought that I had presented my case well, but, it wasn’t good enough. Maybe my presentation wasn’t good at all!!

The committee wasn’t convinced and said that this matter should have been looked into very much earlier (before I took over the project) by the designer and solved at the design stage and not during construction.

I brought along my Civil Engineer to help convince the committee since the work involved civil works which I cannot call myself to be an expert. But, even she could not convince the committee. There was even a time when I was lost for words on how to answer the committee member’s question which I considered confusing.

I am feeling a little bit disappointed with myself, and frustrated that I had not been able to convince this committee despite presenting my case the best I can. I thought that I could speak well. Many people say that I can speak and present well, but, today, I just disappointed myself and proven wrong those who have labelled me as such. I feel so embarrassed. I am mad with myself.

Now, to make it worse, it has just gotten me even more anxious than I already am, for tomorrow, I have the interview for my professional exams. If I have not been successful at convincing the committee this morning, what more for tomorrow’s interview which is considered to be even tougher. Gulp! Help!

What little confidence I have before this for tommorrow’s interview just got dwindled to almost none after coming back from this morning’s presentation..................

I need to be able to speak and present myself well tomorrow as I will need to convince the panel that I am indeed worthy of a professional recognition. After this morning’s disappointing presentation, I wonder if I will be able to do a good job tomorrow.

Ooohhhh! HELP!

May Allah bless me and give me strength to go through this with confidence and come out smiling with success. Amin.

All in this together

Ooooohhh! It’s going to be a busy and hectic week for all 3 of us starting from this coming week. I’ll be sitting for my professional exams interview on the 3rd of November, and my hubby will be sitting for his on the 4th. Starting from the 2nd of November to the 4th of November, Aiman will be sitting for his Year End Exams.

In the very same week, my hubby will also be sitting for his PTK, where he will be getting his assignments on the 2nd of November, and the following week, he will be going through a series of presentations, papers, and public speaking, the same process I went through in August when I sat for my PTK.

He will then sit for the exams portion of the PTK on the 14th of November. I foresee a very stressful week for all of us. May we all able to go through the next 2 weeks with calmness and confidence, and may Allah bless us all with success. Amin.

OMG! I actually did it! Quick! Pinch me!

I got an `Aras IV' (in normal terms, that means a 4.0 flat) for my PTK!

My hubby called to say that the results were out at 10.00am this morning, and the results were being revealed via online. I had to key in my IC number before I could access my results.

The first time I saw the results, I could not belief what I saw before me. I logged out and logged in again. Still I could not belief it, and logged out and in again for the 3rd time. I was like shaking in disbelief to see the results. LOL!

When a colleague told me in the morning that only 14 out of 230 that sat for the PTK scored `Aras IV', little did I think that one of the 14 would be me, because during my schooldays, I was an average student and I have never before been ranked as a top student or top scorer, unlike my brother, Nik Ai, who has always been a top student right from the day he started school.

All I wanted was to pass my PTK so that I can be confirmed into my post and move up the ranks should an opening be made available. I was also initially shaking when I first keyed in my IC, but it was more because as I was afraid of the worse. Then my friend said that sooner or later, I would still have to know my results, so might as well know now then later. Only then did when I click on the SEND button. LOL!

Even after logging in 3 times to see the results, I still could not belief it. I actually called up my hubby to ask him to key in my IC and see if he will also see the same results! LOL! Unfortunately, he could not access the internet from his office.

Hilarious, huh, but I was shaking like it was freezing! LOL! But, it is because my department is known to have set very high standards when it comes to PTKs, and for me to actually get a 4.0 flat for the tough PTK was something like almost a dream - really unbelievable! I did it! All the hard work paid off!

I didn't even call my mum immediately for fear that I could only be dreaming! LOL! It was only after I met a friend and she told me, among the architects, only 4 out of the 14 got 'Aras IV' and she named me as one of them and congratulated me, only then did I finally belief that what I saw online was real! LOL!

It was also later confirmed when one of the panel of examiners called me up to personally congratulate me! He said that I deserved it as I gave a good presentation for my project presentation and english public speaking.

It was really nice of him to say that, and it really made me feel so good!

It was only then did I call up my mum to tell her the good news - more than 3 hours later! LOL!

Thanks, Sabariah, for breaking the news at NNC. I wanted to share my joy, but I was afraid that I might be considered as boasting. *blush* Thanks, Lin, for putting it up at Facebook.

Thanks, everyone, for the congratulatory wishes!

Once again, I must thank my hubby for being patient with me, and for being there for me, for being my rock and for just sitting next to me, giving me moral support, late into the night, as I went through the stress, preparing all the assignments, presentations and exams.

I made it! Phew!

I am claiming a bar of KitKat from my son! LOL!

The week that I was taking my PTK, I explained to Aiman not to disturb me too much as mummy is going to be busy preparing for presentations, paper work and exams.

That was when he said that if I get an 'A', he will buy me a bar of KitKat. When I asked him where is he going to get the money to buy the chocolates, he said that Abah (my hubby) will buy it for him. LOL!

When I told my hubby about it, he said to Aiman, "I am? You made a promise, but I have to buy it?" LOL!

So, looks like I'll be having KitKat for dessert tonight! *wink*

Getting back into routine and, hopefully....on track....

It’s been more than 20 days ago that I last posted here. I went into panic mode, remember, when I was told that the PTK course was brought forward by almost two months? I blogged about it here.

After that, I just simply dropped everything that I was doing, even having to reschedule some of my project meetings to prepare for one of the paper assignments that had to be submitted at the beginning of the course, which was only 5 days after the assignments were given out.

Even after the exams were over on Saturday, 15th August, I only managed a few hours of sleep (I hardly slept during the 10 days I was preparing my assignments and attending the course) before I had to start work on finishing up preparations for my submissions to apply to sit for my professional exams, which was due latest on the 17th of August.

I had wanted to take the following Monday, 17th August, off to recover from a very stressful and intense 2 weeks, but, as I had to reschedule some of my meeting the week before, I had a very packed week the following week.

So, it was back to work for me, but, without any breaks, I feel like I was about to faint from sheer exhaustion, mentally and physically, as the first 3 days of last week, I had site visits which means that I had to use physical energy to make my rounds around the project sites.

My hubby said that seeing me all stressed out has made him stressful too. He took a day off last week to de-stress even before I, myself, could find time to de-stress! LOL!

Anyway, I must thank my hubby for being so patient with me the last two weeks. He was my `rock’ at times when I got so stressful that I could no longer think straight. He helped me get started on my paper assignment when I could no longer compute what was being asked, in my state of panic. He was there for me emotionally, even though all he did was just to sit next to me at the desk while I worked on my assignment and he, on the computer, doing his leisurely stuff or work which he brought home to keep me company late into the night.

Thank you so much, hubby, for being there for me and for being so patient. I love you!

I am just glad that the weekend is finally here. I hope to have some time to do my own things and do the household chores which some have also taken a back seat while I concentrated on my assignments and exams.

So, today, I was at Bangsar Village to run some errands, while my son attended his usual Saturday classes. After my errands were done with, I dropped by Quilt Gallery to find that the shop has gone through some renovation. Gill was not around, but Surinder was. It seems that it is a requirement by Bangsar Village that shops goes through some sort of facelift every few years.

The shop looks bigger now, and able to accommodate more students.

I plan to take one or two classes during this fasting month while I wait for Aiman to finish his Saturday activities.

I bought the materials already this morning and plan to sit down and get things organized to go for class next week, or the week after.

I need to also make a trip to Epal maybe tomorrow as I have signed up for a Baju Melayu class.

Oh, by the way, did I tell you that after my exams were over on Saturday, 15th August, before I went home to take a much needed nap, I went over to Sunway Pyramid, not only to have lunch, but also to check out the new patchwork shop that had just opened there?

Well, I did, and I will tell more in my next posting. Those into patchwork and sewing will want to know……. *wink*

Overwhelmed, torturous and stressful!

Yup! That was exactly how I felt for two weeks since 4th of August when we were briefed about the PTK course which ran from the 10th – 15th August 2009.

I was feeling overwhelmed by the fact that I had to prepare 2 assignments (one being on project management, the other on my work, target and achievements for the year thus far), one individual presentation, one group presentation, and one English public speaking on leadership in managing change, all to be done within a span of less than 10 days.

To add to that, on the first day of the course, we had to sit and watch a video of the PM’s speech and write our thoughts and comments, and what we intend to do to achieve his 1Malaysia plan, all in 1 hour, and we are expected to write at least FIVE to EIGHT PAGES, the first 3 pages being our first initial thoughts and reaction to his speech!

To top off the 5 day course crammed with assignments and presentations, we had to sit for an exam on Saturday morning, 15th August. As we were mostly busy with assignments and presentations throughout the week, our last being the group presentation on Friday morning, we only had Friday night (we had a short lecture on Friday afternoon) to study and cram everything into our overworked and over-utilized brains that easily forgets almost everything that it had read and tried to remember within a span of a few hours! LOL!

That is what happens when you are above forty. Your memory just isn’t as alert as it used to be 10 or 20 years ago. I told my hubby and some friends that I could actually see the figures and drawings that I drew the night before, but I simply could not recall what were inside the circles and arrows that I drew! LOL! I think I was running cold sweat during that 2 ½ hour exam just trying to recall what I had studied.

There was also a time that I almost wanted to cry when I could see the page in my head where the answers were but I could not recall the exact thing on that very page! I had to take a long deep breath to calm my nerves before I could finally answer the 5 questions required out of 11. I hope I did well and answered the questions correctly.

I think the organizers shouldn’t ‘torture’ us this way. *grin* We are too old for this already. LOL! Our brains are overworked. *grin* I don’t even mind doing another paper assignment rather than sit for an exam. It would have been more stressful, but, maybe not as torturous. MAYBE! *grin*

Now, all I could do is pray to Allah. I hope that I will pass all stages of the course, insyaAllah. I have to. I need to.

Going into panic mode!

I am curently in a panic mode. I just got news that the PTK exam which was originally scheduled to be held in October has been brought forward to the week after next starting from 10th to the 15th of August! Oh no!

I am not sure how prepared I will be as I have sort of programmed a lot of things aleady for the next two weeks, workwise and craftwise. I have back to back meetings everyday this coming week. I don't know where to find the time to slot in some reading work to prepare for the exams.

I don't know how prepared I will be but I do hope that I will be mentally prepared to go through it by next week. I have to. It is not a choice I have.

As if that is not enough, I also have my professional exams to prepare for which is the submission of work which is also due the week after that! Double Oh NO!

I didn't mean to leave it at the last minute, but, I had meant to take a couple of days off the week after next to concentrate on preparing for my professional exam submissions, thus why I had arranged back to back meetings all week this coming week so that after that I can leave it to my officers to take care of any other issues that may arise while I concentrate on my submissions.

Now, looks like everything is about to be turned upside down! HELP!

I pray that everything wil turn out fine and that I will do well for both my PTK and professional exam submissions.