Dear Fat People (link), Followed by My Musings....

I'm going to just post the link to this video and a response.

I am one of those "obese" people.... I am super obese or morbidly obese.  You may have seen this video already.  In fact, since I've been gone for a while, I missed all of the hoopla surrounding this.  I'm glad I did.  I'm in a pretty vulnerable place right now and hearing all of this (I'm sure it was all over Facebook, too!) may have done me a lot of harm.  I am not a fan of the language they use, but I think it gets the point across.

I'd like to know who got together and decided what BMI is and what weight/height determines your BMI.  Several years ago I was trying to determine my BMI and came across these numbers (I'm sorry, I've forgotten the site so cannot reference it directly):

>18.5 = underweight
18.5-24.9 = "normal"
25-29.9 = overweight
30-34.9 = obese
35-39.9 = severely obese
40-49.9 = morbidly obese
50-59.9 = super obese

Another stat I found at that time was that the CDC says a person who is 5'5" and 180 lbs has a BMI of 30.  Yes, that is heavy, but obese?  I think we're putting ourselves in these boxes that force us to reach a certain number, be it weight or BMI.  We're trapped by that number, as if it defines who we are.  I am fat and it is the first thing people notice about me, making it the last thing sometimes.  Hubby and I switch between 2 different eateries before we go to the grocery store.  We often have the same servers.  They often won't recognize us until they see me.  I am fat.  I am memorable because of it.  That is truth.

Here is the NIH BMI calculator.  Frankly, I find it absurd.  I once found myself getting excited that I was severely obese.  I had lost enough weight that my BMI made me slightly less likely to die from the effects of being a fat chick.

What are your thoughts?  How do you determine when you've reached a goal you have in mind for losing weight?  Personally, I want to walk up a flight of stairs without getting out of breath.  I'd like to take my dogs for a long walk.  I'd like to fit in a bathroom stall comfortably.  I'd like to take walks with my husband.  I'd like to not squish my husband in an airplane - I mean you have to admit that you or someone you know is thankful they aren't next to the fat girl on an airplane.  I'd like to be comfortable in my clothes (being comfortable in my body is too far off to be realistic; I've spent 43+ years hating myself and my body so that won't get fixed by losing weight).  I'd like to go into a medical appointment and be told that I have to lose weight - some docs have gone so far as to say that I need to lose 150 lbs, as if that will solve all of my problems.  I'd like to shop in a store and not be limited to clothes in a catalog, hoping they fit.  I actually hit the last one about this time last year, but both my husband and myself went on some binges.  My emotional eating came out in full a lot and I gained back all the weight and more.  Now I have to lay on my bed and suck my stomach in after putting on jeans or shorts and sitting in them for a bit to stretch them out so they will hopefully button and zip.  Even then, it's quite a chore to get them on again.

So, those are my musings immediately after hearing of this video and watching it, as well as the response.  I do want to add that I accept the responsibility for each and every bite of food I put in my mouth.  It is my doing that I can't walk well.  I also want to say that my age (43), my medications, and both of those add in to a horrible metabolism, making it even more difficult to lose weight.

I'd really love to hear others' thoughts.

Please...I Need Some Advice

I'll keep this short and sweet.  If you are a person who is overweight, who is an emotional eater, who is bulimic, who is anorexic, who eats beyond to the point of being full, who thinks about food more than just at mealtimes (see other questions below).... what are your thoughts and feelings about OA (Overeaters Anonymous)?  Have you gone to any meetings or know someone who has?  Was it a good experience?

I have taken the following from their website:

Is OA For You?

Are You a Compulsive Overeater?

Now that you have found Overeaters Anonymous, you may want to make sure our program is right for you. Many of us have found it useful to answer the following questions to help determine if we have a problem with compulsive eating.

1. Do I eat when I’m not hungry, or not eat when my body needs nourishment?
2. Do I go on eating binges for no apparent reason, sometimes eating until I’m stuffed or even feel sick?
3. Do I have feelings of guilt, shame, or embarrassment about my weight or the way I eat?
4. Do I eat sensibly in front of others and then make up for it when I am alone?
5. Is my eating affecting my health or the way I live my life?
6. When my emotions are intense—whether positive or negative—do I find myself reaching for food?
7. Do my eating behaviors make me or others unhappy?
8. Have I ever used laxatives, vomiting, diuretics, excessive exercise, diet pills, shots or other medical interventions (including surgery) to try to control my weight?
9. Do I fast or severely restrict my food intake to control my weight?
10. Do I fantasize about how much better life would be if I were a different size or weight?
11. Do I need to chew or have something in my mouth all the time: food, gum, mints, candies or beverages?
12. Have I ever eaten food that is burned, frozen or spoiled; from containers in the grocery store; or out of the garbage?
13. Are there certain foods I can’t stop eating after having the first bite?
14. Have I lost weight with a diet or “period of control” only to be followed by bouts of uncontrolled eating and/or weight gain?
15. Do I spend too much time thinking about food, arguing with myself about whether or what to eat, planning the next diet or exercise cure, or counting calories?

Have you answered “yes” to several of these questions? If so, it is possible that you have, or are well on your way to having, a compulsive eating or overeating problem.

I am giving serious consideration to this (with "encouragement" of my therapist)  He has gone to the extent of researching which meetings are good and which are flops (like the one and only one I've ever been to) and finding me a contact he knows.  There is a Saturday morning meeting about 35-45 minutes away, but UGH!  However, I get up with the dogs at 7:00 am anyway, so I'm not really missing out on any sleep - except for the occasional nap after I feed them.

I am totally an emotional eater - good or bad - celebration or mourning/depressed/drowning my sorrows/etc.  That is something I need to address.  I'm terrified and simply want to know anyone else's feelings, thoughts, etc.

Their general webiste is oa.org; the above link came from here.  The site is jam-packed with information and is worth just browsing if you feel like you fit into any of these categories, or know of anyone who may - just don't push it on them.  They/I have to be willing to go independent of being told to do so.  Oh, I guess I should be clear here: my therapist isn't forcing me to go, but really is encouraging and helping get past the anxiety.


Any advice???

(PS: sorry for any typos or weird sentences, if I've gone to change something and didn't fully remove what I thought was a better way to say something; my wrist still hasn't totally recovered so typing is pretty painful.  I'm also exhausted - 11:30 pm and the depression gives me no energy to review it.  Thanks for your understanding!)