SMS Jokes

The following SMS Jokes was received from an office mate via e-mail. Enjoy!

***
A Filipino, a Black man, and a White guy are in a bar having a drink.
When a gorgeous woman comes up to them and says, “Whoever can use the words ‘liver’ and ‘cheese’ in a creative sentence can have me for tonight.”
So the White guy says “I love liver and cheese.”
She says “That’s not good enough”
The Black man says “I hate liver and cheese”
She says “That’s not creative”
Finally, the Filipino says “Liver alone, cheese mine!”
***

A man joined a big Multi-National Company as a trainee. On his first day he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone, “Get me a coffee quickly!” The voice from the other side responded,” You fool you’ve dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you’re talking to, dumbo?“

“No”, replied the trainee.

“It’s the CEO, you fool! I can fire you out of this company!”

The man shouted back, “I don’t give a damn fucking shit! And do you know who YOU are talking to, you asshole?”

“No.”, replied the CEO.
“Good!” replied the trainee and put down the phone!

***

Finale
INTERVIEWER: “I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!”

The boy thought for a while and said,

BOY: “my choice is one really difficult question.”
INTERVIEWER: “Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this. “What comes first, Day or Night?”

The boy was jolted in! to reality as his admission depends on the correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said,

BOY: “It’s the DAY sir!”
INTERVIEWER: “How?”
BOY: “Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!”

***

His wife being eight months pregnant, poor husband has had to sleep on the floor and this had made him desperate for sex.

One night as she lay on the bed, she glances at him and sees the poor guy curled up on the floor, eyes staring widely into the empty air.

Feeling sorry for her husband, she takes her wallet and fishes out P500 and gives it to him. “Here, take this and go to the woman next door, and she will let you sleep with her tonight. But remember that this happens only once, okay? Don’t ask me to do this again.”

The husband rolls his eyes in disbelief, but afraid that she might change her mind, grabs the money, and leaves quickly.

A few minutes later, he returns, hands the bill back to the wife, and says with much disappointment, “She said this is not enough, she wants P600.”

The wife’s face slowly turns red with anger. “Damn that bitch! When she was pregnant and her husband came over here, I only charged him P500!”

***

7 tawa sa TEXT:
1.Haha-masayahin
2.Hehe-malib0g
3.Harhar-pas0si
4.Bwahaha-bruha
5.Hihi-pacute
6.Hekhek-pang-asar
7.Jeje-virgin

kaya ingat sa pagtawa. Hehe.. Este Jeje pala!

Single Ladies Fever

Featuring Justin Timberlake

The One That Got Away

I got this from an office mate/friend and I am sharing this article as this has made an impact to me.



The One That Got Away

Source: The Manila Times
By: Mark J. Macapagal

In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There's the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're with... and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose.



I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little nice ties of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you're with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big; inconsequentia ls become dealbreakers simply because you're not ready and it shows. It's not that you and the person you're with are no good; it's just that it's not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

........... Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens you'll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it'll work because you're ready. It'll work because it's the right time and you'll make it work. And it'll make sense, it really will.

So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you've become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there's no telling when this day will come.

Hopefully you're single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn't matter. All you know is that you've changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about. You'll think about them because you'll wonder, "What if they were here today?" You'll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?"

That's what the one that got away is, the biggest "What if?" you'll have in your life.

If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you're mature enough to realize that you're already with the one you're with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you'll think about him/her every so often, but it's alright. It's never nice to live with a "might have been," but it happens... Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married. In which case it's the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you're old and gray and reminiscing. But if neither of that is the case, then it's different.

What do you do if it's not yet too late? Simple...find him, find her. Because the very existence of a "one that got away" means that you'll always wonder, what if you got that one? Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it doesn't matter if you've dropped in from out of nowhere. You'd be surprised, you just might be "the one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got away." You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won't make a difference.

If the timing is finally right, it'll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I'm thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone, "Hey you, you're the one that almost got away.

I Am a Call Boy!

"I am a call boy." That's what I tell everyone who asks me about what I do for a living. And then, as a response, they'd look at me from head to toe and then they're like "Really? You look too decent to be one!" And then I would say, "Yeah I know! That's why I'm getting paid more than what an average call boy gets. Haha!"


Actually, I'm working at a call center. I started wayback in November 2007 at one of the pioneer call centers in Cebu. So how is it like being a call center boy for more than 2 years already? Well, I can't find a single adjective that would perfectly describe my call center life so far. So let me say it's been stressful yet fun enough to get you going. At first, it wasn't an easy thing. I had challenges with the shifting of schedules and not to mention, speaking with Obama err Americans from different states. Imagine changing your biological clock so you could stay awake the whole night and sleep the whole day. Imagine taking a cup of coffee almost every hour to stay awake. Before I joined the BPO industry, I was never a coffee fan.

Luckily, after one whole year of taking calls, I was transferred to the e-mail team. The same support, the same products but cooler way of providing customer service. I was very glad, at least I didn't have to listen to the rants and complaints of customers.


But despite of the challenges of being a call center agent, generally, I think working at a call center is still way better than other rank and file jobs. Why? Because stress is in every job. It is part of every job. Well, at least call center managements provide fun and recreations to somehow help their agents cope up with stress such as Team Socials once a month and Team Buildings… and of course, not to mention, higher compensation and benefits and a lot more! Ask me, I’ll tell you more.