Over the hill

Things that make me happy

....a yellow leaf.

....the sound of the waterfall.

....a smooth white rock.

....rustling leaves.

....a stolen apple....or two...

....the wind-up Frankenstein.

....cool evenings after hot days.

....crickets singing on the patio.

Fairy Dust

You can choose your perspective, you can choose your feelings, you can choose your thoughts, your words and your actions. No matter what life sends your way, you can choose how to look at it and what to do with it.

Get in the habit of looking at life with love and gratitude, and with enthusiasm for the positive possibilities.

Hope Visited

Sleeping with Bread

Sometimes in working with others I get to hear some very dark things. Sometimes those things make my heart hurt.

It's been a week of taking in a lot of darkness others have had to carry solo....and it's been a week of heavy heartedness. Not necessarily easy to contend with. But I know good can come from the dark experiences. And I know full well that those 'things' do not define our worth and our value.

For a long time I let myself be angry and refused to feel sad--angry is a position of power, sad..one of weakness. Angry drove my determination. Sad would set me up to be a victim once again..... So I know well what drives some of that anger from others. I know the lies I bought into that gave me this false sense of power...a false sense of security and safeness.

I walked heavy this week until I remembered what truly works in my life today.

And I was graced with circumstances and stories from others that drove that point home for me this week.

So yes, I heard lots of stories this week--definitely ones that made my heart hurt....

And others that made my heart and my soul...... soar.

All of those stories are what I hang on to while I walk through some dark places with people I care about. Those are things that get revealed to me to remind me.....

Love is an awesome thing--more powerful in my life than anger.

It's amazing to me--the one who did not trust, did not talk, and did not feel anything unless there was a 'powerfilled' purpose to it, who lived life to 'do unto others as they'd done unto you'......
Anger didn't bond me with people--it bonded me in 'causes'. I was always good for a 'cause'.

Love is an awesome thing that's bonded me with people..and with missions. Kindred spirits in a like journey. It's good that efforts get made to validate over and over again where the power comes from.....what that power's to be used for....

So thank you--for those people who reminded me of both places that I operated from. For reminding me what works for the greater good.....and not just what works to 'get even'.

TFTD

The most exhausting thing in life is being insincere.

—Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Many of us grew up in situations that required us to be constantly on our guard. We became so keenly attuned to the people around us and how to please them or avoid their anger that we lost contact with our inner messages. Rather than developing skills for drawing upon our inner resources, we developed skills for looking outward and reacting to whatever confronted us. This method of survival may have been necessary in the past while we were under stress, but it doesn't allow us any rest or the possibility of simply following what we know and feel is right.

We are learning to know what we think and feel and to express it, even if it isn't always what others want to hear. We can be spontaneous now because we have room for mistakes in our lives. Our relationships are more reliable, and we have more energy from sincerity than from always striving to make a good appearance.

Today, it is more important for me to be sincere than to be on my guard.

River Reflections

Today's Fairy Reminder

Shame can be tagged to healthy behaviors such as talking about feelings, making choices, taking care of ourselves, having fun, being successful, or even feeling good about ourselves.

Shame may have been attached to asking for what we want and need, to communicating directly and honestly, and to giving and receiving love.

Sometimes shame disguises itself but if it feels dark and makes us feel bad about being who we are, it's probably shame.

We have a right to be, to be here, and to be who we are. And we don't ever have to let shame tell us any differently.

Tucked in the corner

Where's my cow?

Talk about 'absorbed' and 'obsessed'....
He mighta been a bit eager to pick up the locomotive that was put aside for us. I'm pretty good at reading 'cues', but it doesn't take a rocket scientist when he's standing near the door with the purse in one hand and the camera bag in the other, bouncing up and down like an excited little boy.

I got in the Jeep.

I don't know how long we stayed in the shop. I pulled up a piece of the floor and a box or two, and started rummaging. Oh--that was great fun! I found all sorts of do-dads and STUFF while himself talked trains, chatted with the owner.....and ate cookies.

He got the locomotive and decided on some cars and some containers for the cars... and some dirt. Can't just use any ol' dirt on a trainlayout dontchaknow--you have to have dirt 'to scale'. I suggested using the stuff in the vacuum cleaner. He suggested I rummage some more.

So I did.

And I found cows!
Poor things were buried in a box with stuff--in a little baggie kinda stuffed inside an envelope with other stuff in it.

I don't think he was particularly impressed with the cows. I only really wanted one--but since they were a small herd, no sense in breaking up the family, right?
Yeah well....
Somehow they found themselves pushed to the side while the other stuff was being rang up.
No worries--I shoved 'em back......twice.

He said they were a bit tatty....
(I think that's Old English for very special.)

The shop owner told him I could have the cows if I wanted them.
She'd found them at an auction and was glad to see them go to a good home.
So pfffffffft!


Needless to say--the cows were nowhere to be found when I joined him to inspect the new locomotive which was pulling the new cars with containers--around the track with 'to scale' dirt and grass and trees......

Very cool--but where's my cow?

'Very cute.....on the table I think' was not a smart answer on his part.
Sheeeeshhh......and it wasn't even accurate.

AND he didn't drop everything to help LOOK for my cow!!!



No worries.
I did find 'em.

And I did make arrangements so they wouldn't get overlooked again.

Today's Reading

Any activity or commitment needs a certain amount of time, concentration, and energy. But some of us may be too absorbed in physical fitness to notice we are always tense, always on the go. Some of us may be so obsessed with money that we take on additional work, not noticing we are often hard to get along with. Some of us may be so fascinated by a hobby that we ignore people in our lives who need our time and attention, too.

We need to recognize the obsessive areas of our lives and begin to make changes. It may mean assigning time limits to different activities. Or it may mean altering our schedules, even letting go of an activity. Now is the time to begin to bring balance into our lives, gently and gradually.

*ahemmmm*

Fairy Reading

We have decided how to respond to life's trials. We were never forced to dread, hate, or appreciate our experiences. We were, and still are, solely responsible for our interpretation.

How do we begin having more fun? The first step is deciding to leave the past behind. No matter what our experiences were last year or in our childhood or even this morning, they don't have to determine what our experiences will be in this next hour. Having more fun is clearly a decision that is coupled with action. Any one of us can do it as well as we want to.

Smiling at myself in the mirror is good practice. Offering one to the first person I encounter strengthens my desire to offer more.

Backroad Quilt Barn

Plan B......

It was not a great Thursday.
Things were 'off' most of the morning and I wasn't as productive as I needed to be.
I did wade through the moments and some things did get attended to--but it was fragmented. Things that normally 'flow' and get done easily turned into 'what was I doing again?' moments.
Getting interrupted proved to be disasterous...and unfortunately I was interrupted a whole lot of times.
Backtracking to what it was I was doing at the time of interruption....notsogood......

I was finding half finished paperwork/computer work this afternoon--stuff that I had vague recollection of even starting.
And I couldn't add 14 and 46, apparently. I kept coming up with 70. HOW, I do not know...I just did.

I can't afford to do my work in this fashion. I just cannot.
I don't know of many folks who can...maybe they can and do and it's just me being anal about it all.
I do know that memory stuff has been upsidedown for some time and it ain't getting a whole lot better.

Keep doing what I'm doing and accept that it's going to get messier some days--or make arrangements to do different hours on Thursdays maybe?
Or skip 'em all together....it's not like I don't have paid leave that could be used.
I just do NOT like letting it look like it is.

Oh gee.
Go figure.
ME....not liking when it looks JUST like it is.....

Oy brother......

Full Circle

Today's Reading from the Reading Fairy

Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is the lightning that does the work.

--Mark Twain

Thunder demands our attention. From the ear-splitting boom overhead to the faint rumble in the distance, it is an impressive part of nature. Yet, it is the lightning that discharges electricity from one cloud to another, or to the earth.

We are sometimes like thunder. We may shout our intentions to family members, or quietly tell our dreams to friends. No matter how we say it, it is the ability to follow through that is most important. When we've completed what we've set out to do, we will feel a sense of satisfaction and energy. With this energy, and the knowledge we can finish what we set out to do, we will grow and persevere towards all good things.

What is left incomplete that I can finish today?

Waiting on Lunch

Things that make me happy

....capturing the shot I was trying to get--finally!

....surprises around the corner--literally.

....road trip adventures with no destination.

....a visit from the boss....geeze it was good to see him!

....a lone lightening bug this late in the season.

....serving peach pie.

....bug kisses. Sloppy--but wayyy doable! :-)

Thought for the Day

We can serve one another best, never by commiserating with sadnesses, but by celebrating life's challenges. They offer the opportunities necessary to our continued growth.

Someone needs a word of encouragement from me. It will brighten their day.

Yup--train!

I'm not sure where I came by my love of all thing trains.

I can't blame himself--though he's certainly watered it and nurtured it and made it grow! LOL

There were trainlines just blocks in both directions from where I lived--an ice house off the tracks to the south and what used to be the train depot to the north.
The sounds are familiar.
The smell is familiar.
The feel of them.....familiar.

I was pretty surprised to see it sitting sandwiched between two other locomotives.
It's a 'defunct' railroad--but another one's decided to paint its color scheme on their new locos.
I was pleased as punch.

He-who-loves-trains was beside himself.

I've decided I WANT one!!!

k..we might have one (or two!!) on the train layout already--but I want ANOTHER one!

*laughing*

Betcha I get one!!!!

Fairy Dust

Many of us assume we don't know how to love others and maybe will never learn. We can simplify the process, however, by focusing on the Golden Rule. For starters, we can treat others as respectfully as we'd like to be treated. People respond well to respect, and they often pay us respect in return.

Next, let's put the needs of at least one other person ahead of our own today. It's imperative that we do it willingly, not resentfully. When we do that we discover an unexpected benefit; not being self-absorbed for a change is really quite refreshing.

A good start in loving others doesn't have to be complicated.

MINEminemine!!

Yup--she likes her playhouse.
Yup--she likes her playhouse all by herself.
Yup--she likes her playhouse all by herself soooo much she'll push.
Yup--Nana 'disallows' pushing.

Yup--she carries on when Nana puts her on her lap.

Yup--she has the same line of thinking when it's time to share her little pool.
Yup--Nana 'disallows' pushing in little pools just like she does in playhouses.
YUP--she carried on some more from Nana's lap.

*laughing*

At least we're both consistent!

TFTD

We can learn something from any experience, even one that is painful. In fact, we often learn more from painful experiences than from pleasant ones. When we say or do something foolish or hurtful that causes us embarrassment or guilt, pain gives us a reason to learn and behave differently next time.

We can't change the experiences we have, but we can learn from them. Our life is a gift that comes wrapped in what we experience each moment. When we accept this gift and open it willingly, no matter what the wrapping looks like, we put ourselves in a position to discover unexpected treasures. We live life to the fullest, and we learn who we are as we grow. In that way, all experience is positive in building our new lives.

Today let me learn something that will help me grow in wisdom and maturity.

Yet another adventure.....

Seems we don't have to go far.
We're lucky like that. We get in the Jeep and go--there's no real destination, just the knowledge that we seem to bump into all sorts of interesting things when we take a side road or two.

We took a few.

Oh look......a train! (or six...LOL)
And cute little parks.
And old cemeteries that I couldn't quite talk him into stopping for.
And pelicans--a couple flocks....they were awesome!
And quilt barns. (cute things--we might have to chase down a few of those at some point soon)
And OH--roads with a gazillion butterflies fluttering from wildflower to wildflower.

And then there was the gristmill.
Talk about a cool discovery...... We stumbled around outside and then inside. Holy moly--we had no clue whatsoever that it was actually still workable.

We just kinda wandered about, getting an eye-full, talking with the gals who were dressed for the gristmill era, enjoying the sounds and the sights.....
And then I started coughing......and my brain engaged.

Ummmm.......

Gristmill?!

Flour?!

Hello, hello--getout getOUT!!

Yeah, well.....it was fun while it lasted. LOL

And cuz it was totally overcast and none of my photos turned out how I woulda liked......and cuz there's quilt barns and pelicans and trains and STUFF back there/over there/down there that we didn't explore--

<-- will figure out a return adventure! :-)

Fairy Reminder for Today

We don't have to continue feeling like victims of circumstance or remain stuck with a nagging problem. Just like changing the subject of a conversation, we can change the subject of our attention for a time. When we do, we regain our sense of hope and change our responses.

Today, I will give myself a break when I become caught or obsessed with a problem.

To the unknown

Today's Thought

Gratitude for what's been offered us in our lives softens the harsh attitudes we occasionally harbor. Life presents us with an assortment of blessings; some bring us immediate joy, some invite tears, others foster fear. What we need help in understanding is that all experiences are meant for our good, all bless us in some manner. If we are able to see the big picture, we'd greet all situations, large and small, with a thankful heart.

Ahhhh the work week ends........

TGIF!!!!!!

I MEAN IT!

Thank you G-D for making this a Friday!!!!


I'm into a pissin' match and I know I'm into a pissin' match.
But I'm gonna WIN this pissin' match if it's the last thing I do!

(k.....if it's the last thing I do this WEEK.......and possibly next week......)

I'm going to the worksite armed with pruning sheers, branch loppery off-er thingies and work gloves.
I've even warned the Brit that I'm callin' him to come up to help me and he best show up.
(I got a 'yes dear'.....and I'm pretty sure that means yes dear.....LOL)

I'm taking a couple kiddos outside with me and we're making things go bye-bye.

THEN I'm gonna call my landlord, give 'em the hours spent doing what should have been done by them......and I'm letting them know they can reimburse my employer for the hours spent doing THEIR job instead of mine.

RAWR.

Oh, but it'll make me feel better.
And it'll give me a finished product to stand back and feel okay about.

AND it'll get those overgrown bushes, weeded over flowerbeds and weed filled parking lot taken care of.

RAWR!!!

And if it ain't done today--I'll be going on Saturday to repeat until it IS done.
OMGosh.....
I think I'm 'done'.
Yup.

Friday's a good thing.
If it were Wednesday--that'd be three more days to create wreckage!!

I wonder if I remember how to start the chainsaw...........

(I am about to 'experience fulfillment'!)

Today's Fairy Reading

You don't have to be magically transported away from where you are in order to experience fulfillment. You can begin making your way forward from wherever you may be, in whatever direction you choose.

It's easy to blame your circumstances for holding you back. It's much more powerful, though, to accept those circumstances and begin working with the value they offer.

You're in a great place, because from where you are you can go anywhere. Look around, with positive expectations, and step forward in the direction of your dreams.

Cuz it looked so dang good.......

Thought for the Day

There's no reason to feel the least bit guilty about enjoying life. If life were not to be enjoyed, then how would it be possible to enjoy anything?
You are here to see the beauty, and to enjoy it. You are here to feel the love, and to delight in it all.

You are here to be aware of how magnificent it is to be aware. You are here to experience what it means to exist.

There is great enjoyment to be found it life's pleasures. There is also unique enjoyment to be found in the challenges and the difficulties, and in working your way through them.

Fully experience and enjoy the ups and downs that come. Find real joy in the endless variety of situations, and truly know what it means to live.

The more you enjoy your own life, the more joy you have to give to all of life. Live, love and enjoy.

This space reserved.....

I want to whine.

Now, granted, I always wanna whine. LOL So this is no different than any other day of the week......however.

Wanting to whine and whining are two different things.

Some days it's just about pulling up your big girl panties and getting on with it.

......k........

...still wanna whine...

Right.

New day--choose your attitude.

(still wanna whine!)

I know!!

I'll take a toy with me, be the distraction in meetings today.......and find great joy in being the creator of disruption!!!!!!!

k....

NOW I'm better.......LOLOL

Thought for the Day

Practice. Practice. Practice using your power to take care of yourself, no matter who you are dealing with, where you are, or what you are doing. This does not mean we try to control others; it does not mean we become abrasive or abusive. It means we own our power to take care of ourselves.

The thought of doing this may generate fears. That's normal! Take care of yourself anyway. The answers, and the power to do that, are within you now.

Start today. Start where you are. Start by taking care of who you are, at the present moment, to the best of your ability.

Happy Flower :-)

Things that make me happy

....Count it down!! SEVENTY FOUR days until Halloween!! WOOHOOOO!!!!

....the very thought of freeing Studley the Spider from his confines!

....hummers getting upclose and personal with me.

....baby bunny--just that one who's gonna relocate to our flowerbed...LOL Wait til himself discovers him!!

....a Sunday off from driving a bazillion miles to see a half dozen people! That was GREAT!

....string cheese. Just one piece! Yummmm.

....Benadryl itch relief sticks. WOW do they work and BOY are they convenient!

....oh.......and then there's the idea of stealing a cup or two with spidery/batty things on 'em.....

Fairy Thought

Too many of us are searching, rather than loving. Truly loving another means letting go of all expectations. It means full acceptance, even celebration of another's personhood. Not easy, but so rewarding, to ourselves as well as to the one who is the focus of our love.

Love is a balm that heals. Loving lightens whatever our burdens. It invites our inner joy to emerge. But most of all, it connects us, one with another. Loneliness leaves. We are no longer alienated from our environment. Love is the mortar that holds the human structure together. Without the expression of love, it crumbles. Love will come to us, just as surely as we give it away.

Sun stretch

Sleeping with Bread

I'm surrounded by the glory of the world around me.
I don't know how I came to entertain myself with a camera...but I am and I do. And there are the most incredible things to see and revel in.
Even if I don't get to save that instant, that moment...I'm present for it. And that's been a very good thing.
I've always had difficulties staying in the moment. I tend to get ahead of myself and this moment--every once in a while the past jumps up and bites me in the rearend. Admittedly, when that happens I can give it more air time than it deserves.

This week has been about 'being present in the moment'.
I've not done a lot of wandering forward or backwards--and it's was a very 'easy, free flowing' week. Go figure.

Bugs, birdies, sunsets and sunrises--flowers and leaves, rain and puddles galore....they've been getting more of my attention than the silly stuff that I've been known to wander around fretting and stewing over.
Where do I wanna spend my time and energy...it's a lesson I've had to relearn again and again and again. Usually it's been attached to some trauma, some huge event that forces my hand.
LORD knows it sometimes takes a whole lot to get my attention.

Not so in the past week.
Maybe it's the nightly walks--maybe it's seeing the world through a lens...maybe it's old age. LOL Dunno.....what I do know is it has its definite rewards.

Nothing is desolating.
It simply is what it is--it's neither good nor bad...it just IS.
I'd be mindful to keep that in the forefront of my brain--though I've no doubt it'll slip-slide and another 'relearning' will get to happen....

Until then--I'll just BE where my feet are.
LOL
Enjoy IT while it's here. Cuz I know me!

The examen, based on the spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius, helps a person hold onto what spiritually nourishes him by looking at what is giving him consolation in his life or causing him desolation. It allows someone to express his gratitude to God for the good stuff and turn to him for solace for the bad stuff.

Today's Reading

When we disallow our own needs, dreams, and desires for too prolonged a period, we stop building self. We set up an all or nothing situation. Our dreams, needs, and desires get relegated to our shadow side, where they grow in darkness. They leak out. We feed them surreptitiously through others. Rather than understanding our needs and desires and meeting them constructively and openly, we repress and deny them. Then, when they finally burst forward, they are like a hungry beast who cannot feel full.

Regardless of the responsibilities we have in life, we still need to attend to ourselves. If we don't, we run the risk of trying to fill up our empty self on the self of another.

Silhouettes

Today's Reading

Real friends are those who, when you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel that you've done a permanent job. --Erwin T. Randall

What kind of friends do we have? Are they people who complain a lot? Are they people who laugh at us or put others down?

The kind of people we want to be will decide what kind of friends we have.

If we want to feel sorry for ourselves, we will choose friends who will tell us how rotten their lives are.

If we want to think we're better than others, we will hang around people who laugh at others' mistakes.

But if we want to be the best we can be, we will pick friends who see the good in life, people who will encourage us to be ourselves and who will help us try harder at things that are difficult for us.

From the garden

What kind of nutcase are you?!

There's something wrong with my brain.......

I mean, I've known for a long time that I'm wired differently than most folks, but sheeeeeshh.

I have to cease doing things and THEN using my brain.
'Old age' doesn't get to be an excuse forever, I'm sure.....or maybe it does since I'm closing in on qualifying......

NO--you don't get to eat watermelon at 9pm and then wonder why you're up multiple times in the middle of the night flushing toilets.
NO--you're not exempt from swarms (and I do mean swarms!) of mosquitoes zeroing in on you while you're standing by the ditch taking photos of the sunset.
NO--you don't get to stay up until 2am watching meteors and then turn around and get up two hours later to start the day... and if you do darn STRAIGHT you'll be weary.

NO--you won't beat the 14 year old in stamina for jumping rope....especially not barefoot cuz you don't wear 'jumping rope foot attire'. Didn't you have back surgery and aren't you just healing from a broken toe?!

NO, NO, NO!

YES.

I'm tired.

I'm full of mosquito bites.

My back and foot hurts AND.....

I'm gonna have watermelon for breakfast. LOL

Common sense returns!!!

(no worries......LOL........this too shall pass!)

Fairy Reminder

Life is a gift we are granted moment by moment.

Let us be in awe of the wonder of it, and then revel in it.

We can marvel at creation for a moment and realize how special we are to be participants.

Happiness will overcome us if we let it.

We can best show our gratitude for the wonder of this gift by smiling within and without.

That I am here is a wonderful mystery to which joy is the natural response.

It is no accident that I am here.

Just another Friday night.....

Smilin' material

Ain't it funny how you can miss people and still smile.....