Nerd News: Highlights From Commencement Speeches

Congratulations, grads!

Nerd News: Winter Commencement at the University of Hawaii

A nod to one's heritage.  Congratulations to all the new grads!

Nerd News: Journalism School Misspells Own Diplomas

SPELL CHECK, YO!

Nerd News: Disappearing Conservative Commencement Speakers

So we've managed to over-politicize graduation ceremonies as we've over-politicized everything else. The worst of it might not even be schools' increasing habit of only inviting speakers whose views their people personally share - it's that students and faculty have developed (like a rash) the nasty tendency to protest and pitch fits and refuse to hear speakers who hold different views.  The Condi Rice debacle at Rutgers is only the latest incident.  The obvious desire to be cocooned in a world in which you never encounter a divergent idea is as appalling as the utter lack of understanding that your view is not the only one that might be held by reasonable people of good will.

Obama's Commencement Speech at West Point

Here's the transcript of the speech.  The reviews are rolling in, and, well ... You can read them for yourself.  The bloom is off the rhetorical rose according to the Wall Street Journal, the Washington Post, and even the New York Times, which said this:

Mr. Obama’s talk of the need for more transparency about drone strikes and intelligence gathering, including abusive surveillance practices, was ludicrous. His administration had to be dragged into even minimal disclosures on both topics. Just Tuesday, the administration said it wanted to make further deletions from a legal memo on drone strikes that a court ordered it to make public.

Ouch.

Personally I don't think a commencement speech is really a place for a talk about foreign policy or anything aside from a few quick anecdotes and stories, a bit of life advice, and then hearty congratulations and a swift, cheerful end because - let's get real - no matter where and who you are, nobody wants to listen to you.  Everybody wants to grab their diploma, fling their headgear into the air, find their families, and start celebrating.

A Commencement Address for Memorial Day

4 Commencement Speeches

It *is* graduation season. Take a look at these addresses to the Class of 2014:

• One
• Two 
• Three
• Four (by P.J. O'Rourke!)

Nerd Fun: Decorated Mortarboards for Graduation

Here are 31 examples of sass, creativity, and humor from the Class of 2014.  The LEGO one is my favorite!

Awesome: The Commencement Speech From Space

Take a look at what happened yesterday: "NASA Astronaut and UConn alum Rick Mastracchio '82 (ENG) delivers the 2014 UConn School of Engineering Commencement address from the International Space Station."

Nerd News: Rutgers Beclowns Itself

So Condoleezza Rice won't be the Commencement speaker at Rutgers after all because too many people there don't want to hear her.  You know, it's embarrassing that an institution of higher education that supposedly prides itself on the free and open discourse and debate of ideas can do this to the country's first black female Secretary of State and still pat itself on the back for being oh-so-enlightened and progressive.  Rice was the most powerful woman in the US during her time in office.  If she hadn't been in a Republican administration, colleges and universities across the country would have canonized her by now.

Massive Tantrum Interrupts Kindergarten Graduation

What makes this news is the fact that it was a temper tantrum thrown by parents.  8 adults were arrested and charged with inciting a riot.  Bonus stupidity: the altercation apparently began over some spilled punch.  Way to set an example for the little ones, you idiots!

Stephen Colbert, Commencement Speaker

The comedian gave the speech at the University of Virginia's Commencement Exercises:

"You know this is an impressive institution because it rejected my application."

LOL: Mortarboard Message

Ah, graduation season, when undergrads often decorate their traditional academic regalia.  Kudos to the girl who did this:

A Lannister always pays his debts.

Satire Except It's Kind of Not: The Onion On College Grads

It's graduation season on college campuses all over the nation, so cue up "Pomp and Circumstance"!  Given that, along with my ongoing jeremiads about how the young are getting screwed and will go on getting screwed, this "satirical" Onion headline makes you laugh ... uncomfortably: "Study Finds College Education Leaves Majority Of Graduates Unprepared To Carry Entire American Economic Recovery."

Nerd News: Political Correctness Claims Another Victim

Johns Hopkins does itself no favors:

Neurosurgeon Dr. Ben Carson stepped down Wednesday as commencement speaker at the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine after complaints from students about controversial comments concerning same-sex marriage. 

The withdrawal came less than a week after medical school Dean Paul B. Rothman chastised Carson for his comments and met with graduating students concerned that the famed physician was an inappropriate commencement speaker.

Pathetic.  So one of the most celebrated neurosurgeons in the country and the winner of the Presidential Medal of Freedom is "inappropriate" for the graduation of a medical school because of his opinions about an utterly unrelated topic?  (He has apologized.)  I assume his speech at graduation would have been about ... errr ... the practice of medicine?  

Haters gonna hate.  Keep being awesome, Dr. Carson!

Nerd News: The Comic and the Campus

Hey, at least the commencement speech would be funny:

In a November 27 Jimmy Kimmel Live episode, the titular host poked fun at the Humboldt Institute for Interdisciplinary Marijuana Research at HSU [Humboldt State University], jesting that to get into the school “you have to fail a lot of very rigorous drug tests.” He even included a parody promotional video that said prospective students could expect such exciting career options as pizza delivery, snowboard rentals, living in a van and selling friendship bracelets and patchouli oil, and Olympic swimming. Now the school wants the noted talk show host to visit the school and/or deliver the commencement speech.

Disgustingly Cute Nerd News: A Graduation Gift 13 Years in the Making

Awwwwwwwwwwwww.

Nerd News: 7 Commencement Speakers from Hollywood

Graduation season's basically over, but these commencement speakers are too entertaining to ignore.

Nerd News: A Different Kind of Commencement Speech

Here's an actual commencement speech that takes a different approach!  Here's a teaser: "... we have of late, we Americans, to our detriment, come to love accolades more than genuine achievement."

UPDATE: Video.

Nerd News: Too Much Cheering at Graduation = No Diploma

Oh, come on!  This is stupid.