picture time!

I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that I was getting some pictures made to celebrate my college graduation! 

Well the pictures happened and we had oh so much fun!

The challenge was cute graduation pictures that didn't look too cutesy for a 30 year old!

And I think we have a success!!!

I'm really excited with how they turned out.

And I'm working really hard on not being overly critical of myself.

Instead, I'm practicing what I preach, and loving me!

All of me.

Curves and all!!!

So, I wanted to share a few of my faves with you....

 

 

 

 Officially less than two weeks until it's official! Holla!!!!!

Sorry.

one of my favorite daily devotions is #SheReadsTruth. i seriously love them.
and during this Lenten season, they have launched a #SheSharesTruth experiment allowing all of us to ponder on a scripture and then share it with our community and the #SheReadsTruth community.
(click the photo to learn more).



this week, we were challenged to look through Psalm 38.
this particular psalm is one where David is truly anguished over the sin he has committed.
(remember? he had an affair, got her pregnant, and to cover it up, killed her husband? yeah, that one).

it made me think.
how often are we gut-stricken with remorse for our short comings.
i'll be the first to admit, there are times where i just throw up an "i'm sorry Lord" and continue on my way.
but shouldn't we be a little more remorseful?
shouldn't we care a bit more?

granted, i've never done anything like, say, kill a man.
so i'm sure that my level of  remorse would significantly increase with the level of horror that i do.
HOWEVER, didn't Jesus die the same horrid death for my so-called "insignificant" sins as he did for those that are much, much worse?
should my remorse not also be parallel with my thankfulness that i'm forgiven, either way?
i think so.
i also think many of us have become numb to our shortcomings.
selfishness. pride. self-righteousness.
what if we sincerely asked God to search our heart and show us the areas in which we need improvement?
what if we asked Him to show us the areas in which we needed Him most?
and like David, what if we decided to wait for God's answer?
what if?

15 days.

ok first of all, can you believe that in 10 short days it will be December?!?!?!?
Christmas time is almost here and you know that it's my favorite!

but more importantly, in 15 days, this Georgia girl will be getting on an airplane (with my most fabulous hubby) and heading to PARIS!!!!!!!!!!!

ER-MEH-GERD.
i'm completely freaking out on the inside.
it's like christmas eve as a child....you know being so excited because SANTA was COMING that very night!
yes, that is exactly what i'm feeling. possibly even a little more extreme.

i'm getting my hair did on saturday. i've gotta have some awesome highlights before heading out right?
and then we've got to go get us a padlock. why?
well to put it on the lovers bridge of course!
legend has it that if you put your name on the lock, and lock it to the bridge, and then throw the keys in the river, then you'll be "locked together forever". so of course i must play along.

i even looked into family photographers in paris to possibly have a photo session while we're there.
ummm yeah, that's gonna cost roughly $500. no thanks. i have a remote and a tripod to my camera. we'll have to make do.

the last few weeks i've been researching and planning; you know trying to get us an itinerary all set.
but really, what i want to do the very most is just eat and explore. to me, that sounds amazing. exploring streets and taking a bazillion pictures. and that's what chris want to do too....so we're just going to wing it!
we'll definitely hit up a couple of museums, but there's only a few things i know i want to see in them.

people think i'm kidding, but all i want to do is roll around in the grass beneath the eiffel tower.
that sounds awesome to me.

it's happening. it's really happening!!!!
oh. my. goodness. gracious. alive!

a little love bird...

this weekend i found myself playing around with some graphics.

this was due to my attempt to use my creative abilities to create Christmas gifts since Paris is taking our Christmas fund lol.

i am excited to say i have come up with some awesomeness. 

but i can't share all that until AFTER Christmas.

however, i'm in the Christmas spirit and feeling generous.....

so - here's one for you!

feel free to take the below image for yourself.

this little gem will be hanging in our bedroom soon!

Pressing Forward.

have you ever noticed how daunting life change can be?
we set out on these adventures to change everything about ourselves and then get discouraged when we fall down. we see failure.

well, at least that's what often happens to me.
but i saw a quote today that managed to offer new hope.

"Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another." ~Walter Elliott

that is so so true.
i love a little dose of fresh perspective.
small victories are still victories.
so make each day a race instead of the whole year a race.

it could be many races in a day.
for instance, my first race could be choosing a wise meal for breakfast. and once breakfast is over, whether i finished wisely or not, a new race begins and i have a chance to "beat the time of my last race" by making wise lunch choices.

you see?

and this is true in EVERY. SINGLE. AREA. of our lives.
one thing at a time, one moment at a time.
we don't have to set out to make super drastic changes over night.
we have to start somewhere and baby steps are ok.

when someone decides to run a marathon, they don't just show up one day with no training and expect to complete it.
no, they train. they may run every day training. they may run lots of little 5k's and 10k's slowly building themselves up for the big race.

so start training. it's ok to start small as long as you're starting.

sing a long song!

i'm just going to ignore the fact that it's been almost a month since i have chatted with you mkay?

let's focus on the future not the past. haha.

i do have lots and lots and lots to share with you so watch out!

so, it's tuesday and that means it's time to chat about some MUSIC!

whoot whoot.

it is no secret that i love all things hillsong.

i have declared my love for them numerous times here.

well they have a new branch of music called Hillsong Young & Free.

not to be confused with hillsong live or hillsong united or hillsong chapel.

got it?

and this new album hit itunes last week.....and of course it's been on repeat cause that's how i roll.

unfortunately, some of my faves from the album don't have any videos yet, well because it's only a week old!

my absolute favorite song on the album is called gracious tempest. 

this is the chorus: 

Your love is crashing over me

 It's surging like a raging sea

Immerse me in the wonder of Your love
A downpour of unending graceConsuming all my reckless ways 
My sins emergedYour love have saved my soul

Your love is like a storm

goodness right there.

my other favorite is called lifeline.

everything about that song is perfect.

here's one of the verses that i just love.

Runaway heart in the distant land
I wandered so far still to find You there
There's no escaping Your embrace

With my hope locked in and my future sure
My life has a cause worth fighting for
My soul exists to know Your Name

you know the drill. link up and tell us what's making your ears happy this week!

dreamer.

deep down i'm a dreamer.
for years chris has called me (lovingly) the "dream crusher".
mainly because i'm a bit of a realist.
but i have dreams and passions. somewhere along the way i convinced myself that they were unattainable and irrational and that they were simply dreams...not at all actual possibilities.

to be quite frank, i'm really pissed at myself.
because in all reality, i've spent the last few months desperately searching for my dreams because i managed to erase them all together.

this weekend i believe i told chris that i was a dreamless person with no purpose.
and that's unacceptable.
and about 30 minutes after that conversation, i received a text message from an unknown number.

It said....
"you're locket is ready" and had this picture:

yep, it says "dream".
funny how that happens.

so last night i spent a good amount of time brainstorming my dreams.
searching for them.
and i did indeed find them.
not only did i find some, my heart completely is overwhelmed in the best and worst ways.

shame on that devilish voice inside of me that told me i was unworthy of dreams.
because we are all worthy of dreams. we all deserve to be part of something more than meets the eye.

what are some of your dreams?
what would you do if you knew 100% you could not fail?

the power of words

words...they're a bit of a phenomenon to me.
in one sense, they are very powerful. words can speak life or death.
completely build someone up or shatter them. but on the other hand, words can mean a whole lot of nothing.
just wastes of breath.
words...holding no meaning.
me and jesus have been talking a lot lately.
the gist of our convos have been less talking, more doing. mmmm.
i have a lot of things that i am very passionate about. photography.
orphans. infertility. adoption. changing the world.
and i know that i talk a lot about these things, yet what am i actually doing about them?
so my prayer and desire lately is to do more and talk less.
if i'm so passionate about things, then let my actions do the speaking.
i'm slowly getting started and it feels good.
it feels good to do.

i've been praying for god to show me what to do. where to begin.
and he has...and we're taking baby steps. which is hard, because i want to jump in and do it all.
but history proves that when i do that, i get overwhelmed and stop it all rather quickly.
so maybe god is setting me up to be successful.
i like the sound of that. ;)

you know as i think back through my goals over the years, the goals themselves have been great but the execution is another story.
we're halfway through 2013 and my goals are just now getting started.
i created a 30 before 30 list like 4 years ago and have left so many things undone.
i set off on lofty diets and "lifestyle" changes, yet the numbers are the scale are going up instead of down.
and so...talk is cheap.
it's time to do.

honestly, at this point, what do i have to lose?

thankfulness.

source

so as i mentioned last week, i've been reading this book called "one thousand gifts".

it's definitely something i've needed in this particular season of life.

i am getting so much out of it. seriously.

as ann voskamp, the author, says, ingratitude is the basis of sin.

and it's so true.

when i decide what i have, where i am, who i am isn't what I want, then i make choices that are not in line with what God has planned for me.

my life is not my story to rewrite.

it has already been written.

when we take a moment to stop, be still, and actually notice the very many gifts of this life, we enter a state of full living.

"we will never experience the fullness of our salvation until we experience the fullness of our thanks everyday."

so friends, there's something to be said for the old saying "stop and smell the roses".

i urge you....stop, be still, and take in every moment. every, single moment.

Gifts. A Thousand of Them.

wheweee! yesterday's post was a bit heavy, for me at least.
but joy comes in the morning right?

i'll be sitting on the beach in 4 glorious days, so joy it is!
school is done til june, so i literally have a month to do things at my leisure.
and believe you me, my kindle app is dying for me to read the stuff i've been adding for "later" the last few months!

one book that i just couldn't wait til the beach to start is called "one thousand gifts" by ann voskamp.
i have been chomping at the bits for this one.
it seems like i've seen it everywhere in my life lately and a few people i know have read it and raved about it.
so sunday night i dove in.
and while i'm only a few chapters in, can i just tell you that it's totally rocking my world.
like seriously cutting me to the core.
and it's only adding to my whole "accepting the unacceptable" outlook.
it's beautiful.

i've been writing pages of notes as i read because i don't want to forget these things.
the sheer power of thanksgiving.
not the holiday, the action.
the realization that it is through our thankfulness that we experiences the fullness of our salvation.
mmm.

can i get an amen up in here?

i feel pretty confident that this book is going to be making lots of appearances here...it's just too good not to share.
and you should definitely jump on the wagon too!

***i was not paid nor did i receive any incentives for sharing about "one thousand gifts". i truly am loving it and simply wanted to pass the love onto you all fine people!***

Bloom.

i have been a follower of kelle hampton's blog for about 3 years.
she has 3 children, but i started reading with the birth of her second.
nella.
upon nella's birth, they discovered that nella had down syndrome.
i have cried with this family and celebrated with this family.
and my heart has been challenged as a result.
and no, i've never ever even so much as had a conversation with this woman.
but i love her blog!
i am so excited because she has written a memoir called bloom.
and you need to go HERE and order one!


photo cred: kelle hampton

i just bought it on my kindle and i absolutely can NOT wait to read it.
and i just thought you might enjoy it too ;)

Spring. And Jesus. And Spring.

i love spring time.
everything is full of color.
it's when you finally get to see what the cold of winter had been preparing.
the drab, bleak, cold winter has been magically preparing the grounds for a burst of color.

this winter has definitely been a dark one for me.
lots of transitions, lots of questions, just a lot.
and i'm praying that jesus has just been preparing me for a burst of color in my life.
that the "dead" things of my life will suddenly come alive.

in this season of cold, i have learned that expectations never really meet up to reality.
what i have hoped and expected of people has definitely turned out different that what i wanted.
that hope...hope that people can be what you want them to be.
and then the reality check that they will never be what you so desperately desire for them to be.

it's like jesus is the gardener. he cleans out the flower beds after the last winter frost.
tenderly taking care to plant the seeds at the right time.
carefully making sure to water the garden, so when the time is just right, all of those seeds start to bloom.
and then he makes the most beautiful of gardens.

i am so deeply in need of a burst of color.
i know more than anything that god is in complete control of things.
and i praying with expectancy that he is preparing a beautiful spring time for my life.
i am getting a few glimpses of blooms around me...so i'm holding on to the thought that they'll be big beautiful flowers.

i'm ready for the garden.

Source: everygirlneedsalittlesparkle.tumblr.com via Tobin on Pinterest

heart stuff.

tuesday was not a good day for me.
it was just rather....well depressing.
i think the homesickness has finally set in a bit.
it's not that i want to move back, it's just that i miss my relationships.

i've heard people talk often about how things are different when you move away.
i thought surely they were lying.
but its true.....my relationships in ga have changed.
not necessarily bad, but not the same.

so while wallowing in my self pity on tuesday of how i had no friends or place of belonging.....i don't really have "my people" anymore...god, as usual stepped in to ease my heart a little.

some friends we have made out here randomly met us for dinner last night.
"randomly"= god ordained ;)

i got a text message out of the blue from one of my besties that was just a "hey i was thinking about you and i miss you"
"out of the blue"= god ordained

my granny called just to tell me i was on her mind and that she loved and missed me
"just to tell me"= god ordained

god knew that my heart was sad and needed a little pick me up, and that's just what he gave me.
when will i ever learn?

in other exciting news, the church we visited a couple of weeks ago offers a bible study for ladies experiencing infertility. i am SO excited about this. it starts next week and i can not wait. i've been needing something like this for so so long.

again - god's listening to my heart.

i just love so much how god knows my heart and knows just what i need just when i need it.
and i'm oh so very thankful for it.

who, moi?

my sweet, sweet blogging buddy claudia gave me an award, and i'm so honored!

it's the very inspiring blogger award.

awwww. ;)

and well, since i've been awarded, it's my turn to pass it along. so go check out these awesomely inspiring blogs! not only do i super love the blogs below, but i feel like i could be real life bffs with all of them! oh how i love the blogworld! ;)

Erin @ Sweetness Itself

Kaity @ Beeautiful Blessings

Ryan @ Loved and Lovely

Halie Renee @ Penguins, Pasta & Polka Dots

Holli @ Holli's Hoots & Hollers

Jenny @ French Press Mornings

Alex & Jess @ Operation Skinny Jeans

keep doing your blogging thing ladies! i love reading it!!!

if you want to pass it on, just name 7 blogs that you find inspiring and tell us 7 things about you.

and lastly, a few random facts about me:

• i have a serious love affair for office supplies. ink pens and stationary make me oh so happy.
• i dream of being a fashionista but i get scared to try new things, so i always look the same.
• cardigans. i have a problem. i love them and have one in every color.
• i LOVE to sing in the shower. i actually have a pretty decent voice, but i freeze when i have to sing in the presence of humans. so i don't.
• i pass out if i have more than one alcoholic beverage. literally.
• i hate clutter. my home decor is very limited/clean...otherwise i feel like i can't breathe.`
• i think eating sushi is relaxing and rejuvenating. weird, i know, but something about eating it is just so refreshing!

i dreamed a dream...

if money was no object, and you could do anything in the world, what would it be?

for me, i would travel the world. and not just to visit, but to really see it.
i want to experience all that god has created in this earth.
sure, i'd love to visit all the touristy places...paris, tuscany, scotland, london, dublin, etc.
but i want to see all the hidden places too. and the not so glamorous.
india, haiti, africa. the little towns and villages hidden atop the mountains.
the forsaken.
the forgotten.

oh how i'd love to let my camera capture the stories of so many.
the stories of this world.
the stories of those who truly know how to enjoy life as it was meant to be.

sure, compared with american standards, many places in the world seem so desolate and terrible.
but do they know something we don't?
do they know what it is to not take things for granted?
do they know the true meaning and importance of family?
i feel that they do.
i want to know their secrets.

there's a lot of people in this world.
and i feel like a lot of them have stories that need to be told.
i want to be a voice for the voiceless.

so much in this world is so very broken, and it's so much easier to turn our head and pretend we don't know.
but we do.
we do know about the orphan crisis in this world.
we do know about the heinous sex trafficking....most of which happens right here in america.
heck, atlanta, ga is one of the top 5 hubs for human trafficking.

some days i just wish i could do more.
i want to change the world.
i envy those people who have the faith and courage to give up everything they have for the sake of the call to help.

my dream is to tell stories.
not just for telling, but for compelling.
god calls us all to help.
it's really not an option, although we treat it as if it were.
not all dreams stay dreams.
sometimes, every once in a while, they become reality.

things to check out:
kisses from katie - she lives in uganda and is so inspiring
human trafficking - i encourage you to go here and see all the organizations out there and how big this issue is

one little word.

have you heard about this one word thing?
i've seen it on several blogs i follow over the past couple of days.
it's one word that sums up your "resolutions" for the year. one word to incorporate into your life to make positive changes.
as i've read others' posts on this, i have been trying to come up with a word.
and now i think i'm ready to join the masses on this little one word thingy.

my word for 2013 is Jesus.

now hear me out. i'm not trying to be super christian or anything like that.
i genuinely need to focus more on jesus this year.
i need more of him and less of me in everything i do.
i need jesus as part of my every day.
to start my day, in my marriage, to end my day.
i need jesus to help me with my eating changes. with my fertility issues. with my life-management. with my photography. with school. with friends. with finances.

you see there's not a single area of my life that i don't need jesus.
so that's what i want to focus on this year.
i want to focus on jesus and through that, i should have no problem achieving the goals i've set for myself in this here 2013.

the beauty of love.

i ran across this video the other day on Two Hoots & a Holler.
it is by far one of the most beautiful stories i've ever seen.
it's no secret that adoption does something serious to my heart.
i want to partake in it more and more each day.
do yourself a favor and spend the next 6 minutes watching this.
I can only hope that i may be able to show the love of Christ in just a fraction compared to these people.
it's intense. and your mascara will run. but it will be worth it.

just plain thankful.

it seems like everyone has been doing the daily thankful thing this month.
and of course it would be fitting for everyone to write about being thankful on this here thanksgiving day.

i didn't do the daily thing. i don't want to be "thankful" because everyone else is.
i want to live a life where i take time weekly, if not daily, to be aware of the many many many ways i am blessed.

but here, on thanksgiving, i really am thankful.

i'm thankful for a Savior that died for all my shortcomings so that i may spend eternity with him.
i'm thankful for my family and friends, and their unconditional love. i know that i have been guilty of taking that for granted.
i'm thankful for the years i got to spend with my precious momma, and even more thankful that someday i'll get to see her again.
i'm thankful for my sweet hubby and our life together.
i'm thankful for this new chapter of our lives here in texas and i'm excited to see what god does while we're here.
i'm thankful for my trials, one because the bible tells me to be, but two, because i have been molded and shaped into something better as a result of them.
i'm thankful for the gifts and talents that god has given me, and i pray that i always use them to glorify him.

i'm thankful for a stress free holiday this year.
i'm so grateful that i'm in the same state with my brothers. this year we're spending thanksgiving with my older brother and his wife's family. i am beyond blessed at how my sis-in-law's family have accepted us as their own. precious people.

and then of course we'll have to move on to a little shopping and i'm very thankful for that!

pin-terrific.

some days... pinterest is the best medicine.
after the emotional roller coaster of the last two weeks, i think a blog of happiness is in order. i can say for sure that the mixture of the holiday season along with this baby mess has me super missing my mom. you know what i love about pinterest? you can literally type in anything you're feeling and it will give you greatness. so i typed in "missing my mom" and this perfection popped up:


 

Source: thecolorsofmymind.tumblr.com via Lauren on Pinterest

and then there was this. not under the missing my mom title. just in goodness in general ;)
i need this.
asap.

Source: missmustardseed.com via Lauren on Pinterest

have i ever told you the story about chris being my lobster? ok, so before we started dating, we had some mutual friends, all of which had told me chris liked me. his nickname then was C-Bass. and that was all i, or anyone, knew him as. but, i thought it was SEAbass. so of course i was all like awww....he's like my lobster, but my seabass. but then i found out it was C-Bass and it completely ruined it all.
turned out he was my lobster after all ;)

Source: steeevie.deviantart.com via Lauren on Pinterest

i am absolutely in love with this. i want to do a wall of "t"s.
really bad.
i mean i just love everything about this.
i think mine would incorporate a bit more color though.

Source: jonesdesigncompany.com via Lauren on Pinterest

the PERFECT entry table for those areas with no room for a big table.
i love it!
i think i'm gonna have to do this too.
LOVE!

Source: blogs.kinnetix.com via Lauren on Pinterest

and i leave you with the greatness that gets me through each day.
you guessed it.
my life verse.
god is able.
yes he is!

Source: temporaryvisitors.wordpress.com via Lauren on Pinterest

The Weigh Things Are Going

so let's chat for a minute about the weight loss yo-yo game.

story of my life.

me and weight watchers....well we're not reall working out.

the points thing is such a flipping roller coaster for my brain.

let me have a moment of brutal honesty here -

last week i seriously had an ugly-face crying break down over food.

now honestly, food shouldn't have that kind of hold on me. and do you know what sent me over the edge? the freaking lack of white cheese dip here in texas. my georgia peeps will understand...it is the epitomy of mexican food in georgia. and here in texas, this stinking close to the border, there is absolutely no cheese dip.

well a few places have it, but it's not the same at all.

so take me whining because i can't have my white cheese nachos which completely spiraled into crying phrases (that were barely understandable) of things like

"i'm soooo hungry"

or

"weight watchers won't let me eat"

or this is my favorite

"why can't i just eat and not be fat?! or why can't i be fat and just not care?!"

it wasn't pretty folks.

poor, poor chris had no clue how to handle such a basket case.

he just held me and let me boo-hoo and said "honey, i don't think weight watchers is working for you."

at which point i wanted to respond in obscenities....and i may have.

i don't remember much about it, if that tells you how distraught i was over the flipping cheese dip.

i digress.

so i decided that i would go back to the lower carb, higher protein way of life because that's where i've had the most amazing results.

i just wish for a day when this struggle isn't a part of my every day...i'm sure i'll get that right about the time there's world peace.

last night i was looking through some old emails looking for a picture of the first time i met my neice. i had wanted to include it in yesterday's post.

and while i didn't find that one, i did find this masterpiece.

this picture was in february of 2010 at my brother's wedding.
hideous. gah-ross!
first of all, who decides its ok to make plus sized clothing in such unflattering prints.
sadly, i thought i looked real cute in this here zebra monstrousity.
my face is so fat you can barely see my facial features!
don't worry, i'm not self loathing.
i'm so thankful that i ran across this picture at this time.

that picture has reminded me of just how far i've come.
my size 20 dress to this here cutie in a large shirt.
i'm reminded of my promise to never go back there again.



so all of that to offer a little encouragement to any of you that may be struggling.

i've learned that this will be something i always struggle with and have to work towards.

it's my weakness.

but i can look at these two pictures and see that i have made and am making progress.

and even when i look in the mirror now and have some major ugly thoughts that go through my head, i can say that i'm not where i want to be, but i'm a heck of a lot further along than i was.

i guess this was god's way of giving me a little nudge to keep up with the fight.

Romans 5:3-4

"we rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope."