IAM; I am more.

It's Ichthyosis Awareness Month, I almost missed it!

IAM: I am a 

woman

daughter

sister

aunt

mommy

wife

Christian

survivor

I am more than my skin. 

If you don't know me, let me start off by saying I'm so glad you're taking the time to read my blog! My name is Stephanie Turner and I was born with harlequin ichthyosis 21 years ago. 21 years ago seems like a million years ago in the technology and medical world. When I was born babies with Harlequin Ichthyosis just didn't survive. My mom was 19 years old when I was born and had no difficulties during her pregnancy at all and given that it was 1993 ultrasounds weren't able to detect my very rare but severe skin disorder. My mom went into the hospital for leaking amniotic fluid only a few short weeks before the due date she was transferred to Memphis, TN which is an hour away from our home town because our local hospital didn't have what it took to deliver a "dry birth". Thank God she was transferred to Memphis!

 When I was born the doctors were very shocked of course and they immediately wheeled my mom into a tiny room and she pretty much just had to hang out there for a while, meanwhile nurses and doctors were constantly coming in and telling her to be thinking about funeral arrangements for me because the chances of me surviving were slim to none.... and closer to "none". They literally had to  blow off  the dust of this huge medical book which had a tiny paragraph talking about H.I. It was very little info because babies usually didn't live longer than a few minutes or hours due to infection, dehydration, skin tightening around the chest which causes suffocation, etc.. Babies affected with Harlequin are born with extremely thick plates of skin with deep red fissures over their entire bodies. This thick skin pulls tightly, causing deformed facial features.  The eyes are pulled so tightly that the lids are flipped inside out and bright red from irritation. Often the nose and ears are barely able to be seen under the plates of skin. And the fingers and toes are contracted and shortened due to the pulling of the thick skin. With time, the original skin will peel off, leaving red and flaky skin underneath. Although, dehydration, temperature changes and infection will always be a concern for people affected with Harlequin Ichthyosis because their epidermis doesn't regulate their own body temperature, hold in moisture or keep out bacteria.

Thanks to God, my strong determined momma and great doctors- I've beat the odds! Not only by living more than a few days but living 21 years! I was raised to not feel sorry for myself, what good does that do? Instead- laugh when you feel like crying, be hard headed, don't give up.. Most importantly, have faith! Have faith in God, he made you... He took his time to create every little part of you. That nose that you think is too big? Forehead that's too wide? Zits that just wont stay away? God loves it! He knows it's beautiful! You're beautiful. You need to know that and never ever forget it. 

Just a few accomplishments in my life? (In order of which they occurred)
-Scored a Cabbage Patch doll from my first crush in Kindergarten! (Playaaa playaaa)
-Had a cutie chase down my wig that blew off while playing outside at recess! (Also kindergarten! My wigs never really been a secret)
-Was a cheerleader for 4 years in middle school! 
-Homecoming maid for 3 or 4 years as well! 
-Had my first super serious relationship at 16
-Broken heart at 17.9! (so close to 18!) lol. 
-Fell in love at 18 1/2
-Married at 19 (when you know, you know!)
-Had my son at 20! Was the 1st person with H.I to ever have a baby!
-Having my daughter at 21. :) 

Most people are so shocked that I've had such a "normal" life. I truly think life is what you make it. Granted I'm beyond blessed and live in a very small southern town where everyone knows everyone so I'm not meeting tons of new people everyday but don't think for a minute I haven't put up with an outrageous amount of stares, whispers, nudges to a friend to "look at her face", ridiculous questions, silly assumptions and insulting comments. You learn to deal with it in your own way. Some people get mad, some people get hurt, some people roll their eyes and keep walking.. Some people like myself try to educate people on what my skin disorder is. If they're still rude then sometimes ya gotta get rude back! To each their own. 

Think that's the end of my story? Not even close! Follow my blog to follow my little family's journey through this crazy world. Husband, mommy, 1 year old son and baby girl on the way! Life's fun! :)

Wildman Willie and playing catch-up!

Babyboy is 7 months old and crawling EVERYWHERE he's not supposed to. He looks at me with hims big ol' dark eyes and smiiiiiles that gummy smile from ear to ear when he sees me looking at him, haha! He knows he isn't supposed to be wherever he's at but he can't hardly help himself! Hes just so rotten..

Also just some more updates since I have free time on my hands (Willies in bed for the night)-
>Willie loves almost everyone he meets and acts like he's known them forever.
>He is getting more and more to where he doesn't like me to leave him very long.
>Since 2 months he's slept all night long.
>He's almost NEVER up past 8:00pm, he made his own bedtime and sticks to it.
>He loves:
>People
>Animals
>Music
>Car rides
>Going outside (alot)
>Public places (stores, church, etc..)
>Stuffed animals
>Exploring
>TV but especially Jake & The Neverland Pirates, Mickey Mouse & Dora!
>Bathtime
>Stuffed animals and especially his mommy/daddy bear- Milo! (Build-a-bear)

He's always so happy and patient while I'm taking a bath which is usually atleast an hour long while he's drinking a bottle in his little baby bouncer/chair beside the bathtub. We'll talk (or jabber) about some pretty serious stuff, sing a few songs and maybe take a nap.

Curt works from 1am-1pm so his schedule is: 11pm get up and go to work, 1pm get off, 2pm get home, 5pm go to bed. So our schedules mean daddy doesn't get to spend much time with us. We wake up at 7am and Willie is usually asleep by 8:00. Luckily, he gets off on Mondays and Tuesdays. Yay! :)

I'm pretty sure I've updated ya'll on most everything so if yall have any questions and I'll answer them on my next post. I'm getting more freetime now since I'm learning to get my own self in a schedule! Getting Willie on one was the easy part!! haha :)

Follow me and Willie on instagram for more pictures! @StephUncut & twitter @StephUncut

Our first Christmas as a family of three :)

Last year at this time I had a sweet little boy in my tummy just kicking away! This year I have a 7 month old sweet little boy trying his best to eat wrapping paper! Oh how time fly's...  December 25th our babyman turned SEVEN MONTHS OLD. He's sitting up great, hes trying his hardest to pull up on things, hes into everything. he still loves everyone and is always happy unless hes hungry. He got his first sippycup for Christmas and instantly figured out how to hold it! He is constantly gaining more and more personality. He's definitely a mommas boy but looooves his daddy too of course! He's 23lbs and 27inches, BIG BOY! He loves lemons, any babyfood really but hes not a big fan of the texture of big boy foods like potatoes, tiny cut up scrambled eggs or cut up macaroni.

We had an amazing Christmas! He's more spoiled than I thought though! lol... He received so many great gifts from everyone and lots of kisses and hugs too! Everytime he tried opened a gift, he automatically tried eating the paper! lol. He was also very excited about the boxes and that everyone else was so excited about their gifts. Needless to say Christmas eve and Christmas night we had a very exhausted little man on our hands.

As much I want him to stay this little forever, I am excited for the next few years when we can start Christmas traditions that will be fun for him.. Elf On The Shelf, blowing out candles for Jesus' birthday, etc.. Every single day I fall more and more in love with this precious angel of mine... It might sound crazy but he truly is my best friend, my son, my world. I have absolutely NO idea what I'd do without him!

Vlog vs. Blog. (& an update!)

I've said it a million times, "I just don't have the time or energy to vlog today".. (Vlog; video blogging)
It seems I say that daily. I want to keep ya'll updated with everything but more people watch my videos than read my blog. I've come to realize its about quality not quantity. I knew that before but I've always wanted to reach out to as many people as possible. Here lately I've been under so much stress and I've just been plain ole lazy & tired. Recording and editing videos ain't as simple as it might seem like.  I've decided that I'm just going to keep my blog updated since I can do that from my phone or anywhere, really. Plus I can post pictures & keep up with other people w/ Ichthyosis or "mommy to be's"!

All about my pregnancy! 

We found out September 21st that Curt & I were going to be mommy & daddy! I found out pretty early, the first week of my missed period. I was 3 weeks pregnant. We called my dermatologist the following Monday so we could find out which high risk OBGYN she recommended. She set me up an appointment in Little Rock at UAMS with a WONDERFUL doctor who I love so far.

I went in to see my sweetpea at 9weeks exactly. Everything looked great! At 7weeks my butt was already becoming wide and my belly was getting bigger as well as my boobs. I went from a B to a big C (possibly a small D if I wanted). I haven't wore jeans since my 7th or 8th week. My feet are also too fat for my Ariat boots so I'm wearing house shoes everywhere. Looking real classy. 

My pregnancy symptoms were real fun at first! I became super sick the very week after finding out that I was pregnant. I was throwing up everything every time I ate and when I wasn't throwing up my stomach was tore up. Very dangerous since I lose so much nutrients through my skin already... Luckily I stopped getting so sick after my 6th week, the dizzyness lasted my whole first trimester though. 

Last Friday I noticed I am urinating alot more frequently, now I'm to the point where I'm convinced my baby is line dancing on my bladder. At night I'm steadily making trips to and from the bathroom and it seems like I can never get enough to drink! 

I'm currently 14 weeks 5 days (as of 11/28/12) and my skin is stretching great so far! No skin problems at all other than the usual drying out quicker since its cold outside. No cracking or infections at all so far. We're all pretty excited about that! My skin is sore more since the weather is ranging from mid 60's to 27 degrees within  less than a week. I also haven't gotten my flu shot yet, I'll be getting that Dec 17th. 

Last time we went to the doctor Nov 15th, we heard the heartbeat. It was absolutely the best sound I've ever heard in my life. The feeling I felt when I heard how loud and strong is was, is unexplainable. To know that my own little miracle is just hanging out, growing and living in my belly is crazy! The heartbeat was 159, the doc said that it was perfect! December 17th is when we go in to find out the sex of the baby. I honestly don't care what the gender is as long as its healthy and happy. 

The only problem that has happened so far is the fact that I'm losing weight pretty rapidly. We're talking about a little over 7lbs. My tummys getting bigger, my butts getting wider but I'm losing weight. I've cut way back on drinking cokes which canceled alot of incoming calories but I really haven't had an apatite. Plus I lose alot through my skin too.. I'm supposed to be gaining a pound a week but first I've got to keep my weight steady! I'm trying to eat more though and snack too. High calories and healthy. 

 I took this yesterday!

 Maxman always cuddles up on my belly! 

Already protecting his little bubba or sissy. :)

People BS too much about pregnancy!

So I'm not trying to be a cry baby but these are NOT fun times! I'm only 5 weeks and 2 days and I've stayed sick since I woke up yesterday! Dizzy & sick to my stomach, bad!

I'm much better when I'm laying down not moving but as soon as I raise my head up, its bad again. I can't even get on Facebook, Twitter, etc. because as soon as I start scrolling up/down it maximizes times 20!  This is gonna be a loooong 8 more months if things don't get a little better.

Don't get me wrong, I looooove my little bug but she/he's kicking my booty! 5 weeks, two days &-
> Steadily sick to my stomach
> Dizzy
> hot
>gotta have air blowing on my face
>I'm crying about stupid stuff

Can't wait to see what else happens week by week! Lordy! Lol. Just keepin it in my mind that the end result will make everything more than worth it. :)

Bugs already givin us a heartattack!

About 5pm yesterday I started having alot of discharge then last night cramping began, it felt like I was going to start my period but a little more painful.

After attemptin to wake up Curt & failing, I called my best friend & asked if she'd take me to the ER, it may not be anything to worry about but I'd rather be safe than sorry when it comes to bug..

Chels arrived at our apartment about 7 minutes after I called.. She raced in the bedroom, woke Curt up with hardly any effort at all (probably had something to do with the fact she was yelling at him, haha!) we were headed to the hospital in no time. The hospital its 5 minutes away from us, tops! We were signing papers by 10:45pm.

After the nurse took my temp, blood pressure, random questions & asked a million rude questions about my skin, we were put in our room. They are the slowest ER people ever! Pretty good hospital but very slow.. Eventually I peed in a cup & gave blood TWICE. Here's a side note for ya, the second lady that took my blood had to be the rudest nurse I've ever seen in my life.. Let me tell ya! But this one by far outdid herself in the bitch contest.

First of all, I hate doin blood work, I always have! The first lady who attempted it, messed up so the hag-lady came in & gave it a whirl. My arm doesn't stretch out all the way, she obviously didn't understand that even after I TOLD her. She kept pulling my arm out to the point where it was hurting my skin & bone. Nurses never have too much trouble taking my blood from my arm! Then I told her jokingly "I'm a big baby when it comes to takin blood so I'll have to look away." She said "um if you're having a baby you'll need to be tougher than this" said this about 4 times in the 15 mins she was in my room. Okay, 1. I wasn't crying and acting stupid, just simply looked away and clinched my opposite fist! 2. I AM tough! I've been through more in my 19 years than people could imagine. Its not her job to decide whose tough & whose not. I'd like to see her fighting for her life multiple times because of something she has no control over & still maintain a positive attitude!

Anyway, hours later the blood work & urine sample came in & my hormones were good but they thought I might be having a tubal pregnancy. 30 mins later I was in the ultrasound room seeing my angels home, the gestational sac. But the baby was too small to see since I'm only 5wks 1day.

The doctor eventually came in after looking everything over and told me everything was perfect! Everything looked very healthy! :)
We're super blessed no doubt! Now I've gotta wait 24 days to go to the actual baby doctor, I'll be about 8 weeks then! Going on October 19th. Excited, excited, excited!

Lightening bugs & fireflies

I posted a quick entry stating that I'm pregnant but added very little detail so here it goes-

I'm PREGNANT!! :D According to my last period I should be 5 weeks, 4 days! Excited doesn't even come close to what I'm feeling. I've been on an emotional roller coaster since Friday... Crying because I'm happy, crying because I'm terrified, crying because I've not stopped crying. Haha its been crazy but great!

I've stopped dipping, taking my anxiety medicine & drinking coke all in one day just cold turkey. Between stress, hormones & my cold turkey approach- my body is hating me I bet! But it'll have to get used to it, its all for my little lightening bug!

I already love him/her so much its unreal (I'm almost sure its going to be a girl!). This is so much better than I ever imagined.. To know a whole other life is steadily growing in my tummy, feeding off me, relying on me is just so nerve racking to me.. Don't get me wrong, its fantastic but honestly I can't control my body except how I take care of it.

Here's another thing that makes me nervous, twins run in both of our families! Holy moly! 2? No way Jose, my nerves would be dangling on dental floss! Haha! If we have twins or if we don't it'll be greater than words could describe either way.

I've decided to start a pregnancy journal just encase my little sweetpea wants to read it when he/she grows up! Just documenting how the day went, how I'm feeling, what we're thinking, etc.. I figured it'd be a great keepsake! I'm also taking pics of my tummy every Friday.

In the spirit of babies I figured I'd post pics of me when I was little! :)