And Relax

I am relieved, but I am not enthused. We've had 14 years of incompetence, cruelty, and corruption from the Tories, and Labour should be better than that, but Labour's official party stance on the EU, immigration, Gaza, unions, and trans rights gives me considerable pause.

Worse, the rise of R*form as a political force, while fatal for the Tories, is terrifying. I hoped that the British weren't that sort of people, but apparently about four million of them are.

I have muted hopes and low expectations, but it could -- and has for 14 long years -- be worse. Fingers crossed for better.

Britain Worst

I woke up this morning worried about my country.

For those not aware, next week we vote on whether the United Kingdom should remain part of the European Union or if it should leave. As of this morning, polls suggested a victory for the leave campaign; that's what had me worried.

The campaign has been a shameful mess, with both sides wailing and gnashing and scaremongering, drowning out those who would try to present the facts. Underneath everything there seems to be a deep-seated distrust of foreigners, whether it's "unelected" European bureaucrats or waves of refugees migrants. It's ugly, and it hasn't shown the British people, media, or politicians in a good light.

Yesterday, there was a ridiculous display as a failed politician -- supporting the leave campaign -- and a grumpy old musician -- representing the remain camp -- had a little naval engagement on the Thames. It was absurd and embarrassing, and seemed the perfect encapsulation of what a shambles the whole referendum has become.

Meanwhile, there's some sort of sporting tournament happening in France, and the good old English fans are chanting about leaving the EU during the matches, and then are smashing up French towns afterwards. Oh, and they're abusing refugee children in the street. Great job, lads.

I'm not one for feeling national pride; in fact I'm a bit distrustful of and uncomfortable around it, and I don't really identify with any country. It's just some dirt you live on, after all. That said, yesterday I did feel national shame.

Then today some wazzock shot and stabbed MP Jo Cox while she was meeting her constituents, shouting "Britain First" as he did it. In the coming days we will discover if the murderer is in fact connected to the subliterate hate group of that name, or if it's just a depressing coincidence. Either way, a woman was killed by stupid, ugly nationalism today.

I woke up this morning worried about my country. I go to bed tonight disgusted by it.

Inadequate

People are literally fighting for their freedom on the streets of Egypt. People are being beaten and shot just for demanding the right to vote. And David Cameron comes out with:

These are despicable scenes that we’re seeing and they should not be repeated. They underline the need for political reform and, frankly, for that political reform to be accelerated and to happen quickly. We need to see a clear road map for that political reform so that people in Egypt can have confidence that their aspirations for a more democratic future with greater rights is met, and that change needs to start happening now and the violence needs to stop.

It's cowardly, non-committal garbage, utterly inadequate in the face of events. For better or worse — no prizes for guessing where I stand — you are the leader of this nation, Cameron. Start acting like one.

Politics = Comedy

While Channel 4 brought in Jimmy Carr to make the world a little bit worse with every word that staggered from his stupid face, the BBC's election coverage turned out to be full of presumably unintentional comedy gems. Here are some of my favourites.

"Where is Lembit Opik? Has he been killed?"

"You're not ruling out the possibility of getting into bed with Peter Mandelson?" - Jeremy Paxman, in front of Peter Mandelson.

"Let's isolate Scotland." -BBC presenter Jeremy Vine.

"The Queen is like Heineken lager; she reaches the parts others cannot reach." - a BBC political analyst.

"An asteroid has hit Lembit Opik!"

"Whatever type of Walls sausage is contrived by this great experiment, the dominant ingredient has got to be conservatism; the meat in the sausage has got to be Conservative." - Boris Johnson.

"The Queen can only be activated at certain times." - the "Heineken" analyst again.

Spades

Look, I'm no supporter of Gordon Brown, but if someone's whinging about "students" and "immigrants" ruining Britain, then guess what? Perhaps that person is indeed a bigot. That's not to excuse Brown, but let's not all act like he went mental and started insulting her for no reason.

Mass Debate

This whole leaders' debate thing is silly.

First of all, it either shows or encourages a wilful ignorance of our electoral system. I can't be certain that the people who run ITV and Sky know how it works, but I'd have thought that the broadcaster with its own dedicated Parliament channel might be able to figure it out. A debate between the party leaders is all well and good, but the thing is, I'm not a constituent of Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath, Witney, or Sheffield Hallam, so I'm not voting for any of these men, even if I wanted to. It's about policy, not personality; this isn't America.

(And what the heck is Sky doing showing one of these debates anyway, when they don't have nationwide coverage?)

The greater idiocy in all of this, perhaps, is the perpetuation of this nonsense about these debates being the first of their kind, as if there hasn't been at least one a week televised since at least 2000.

If the British people do not understand the electoral process, and it appears as if this is the case, then it's up to the public service broadcasters to educate them, not perpetuate the ignorance. Otherwise, this will be America.

What Kind of Hole?

I seriously doubt I'll vote for Labour this time around, but I have to give Gordon Brown credit for his response to David Cameron unveiling the Tory manifesto:

Prime Minister Gordon Brown said there was a "complete hole" in the Conservatives' plans.

Well played, Mr Brown, well played.

Planet of the Apes

The Spanish government awards human rights to apes, while the US Supreme Court makes a ruling that suggests that they deserve said rights more than we do.

Meanwhile in Brighton, Starbucks defend the illegal opening of a coffee shop by claiming that it is not a coffee shop at all.

Gordon Brown Knows the Score?

A while ago, a petition was circulated, asking for Alan Moore's work to be recognised. Now, the petition seems to have been answered.

Thank you for taking the trouble to sign this e-petition.

The Prime Minister recognises the achievements of Alan Moore and the widespread regard in which he is held.

This is highlighted by the hundreds of people who have signed the e-petition on the No 10 website calling for him to be honoured.

I'll believe it when I see it.

By George!

I'm pretty apathetic to these patron saint days at the best of times, and I'm not one for national pride. So seeing all these posters and signs up in shops saying stuff like "Celebrate Our National Day With Pride!" has been a bit off-putting for me. I don't know, isn't it better to take pride in what our nation does, rather than some nebulous mythical figure?

I know it's just a gimmick to sell more tat in the shops, but all this celebration of the flag strikes me as a tad right-wing and exclusive, really, and it gives me the creeps a bit.

Chronic Lack of Perspective Within US Government Shocker!

US Secretary of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff, talking about the men they're charging over the September 11th attacks:

[There will be] full due-process and defence lawyers and all of the fundamental rights that would bring to justice those were responsible for one of the worst war-crimes in world history.

(emphasis mine)

Never mind that it's not a bloody war crime at all since no one was actually at war at the time, Hiroshima, Dresden, the Trail of Tears and the Holocaust all just pale in comparison, don't they?

Cretin.

By all means bring these men to justice, but try to do it through something other than sheer rampant idiocy.