2008 is about to end and i haven't really thought of how well or bad i did this year. have i been a burden for some? was there one person's life this year that i have touched some way? what are the things i should bring with me come 2009?
at the beginning of 2008, i was on the rocks with someone and ended a 2-year relationship. it was definitely a bad breakup. it was something that i felt i needed to do, though i know it will be hard for the both of us. it took a lot of tears, sleepless nights and adjustments before i was able to smile and be genuinely happy.
at the office, i had to transfer teams and in the beginning it became a dilemma for me bec i don't handle changes very well. although i felt that its about time to experience the leadership of others, i was deeply worried if i will get along with my new colleagues (thankfully i did Ü).
and then i met this guy. during the early months we went along so well. i guess what i loved about what we had is that we're both conversationalists. we share so much stuff together. i loved our routine of eating out after work, talk about everything, laugh and sometimes debate on certain issues. with him, i realized that 'quality time' can be done even if you're just in a cafeteria or just sitting right beside each other at work.
metrics became tougher at work, making it very difficult to get promoted. i don't mind though, because i'm enjoying the team so much. i'm still focused on my career and i don't see myself leaving the company in the near future. my plan to go back to school was cancelled, having decided to let my brother study first. i promised my mom that i'll take charge, and i haven't got the time to fix my school papers yet.
in mid-june, he then started to propose the idea of moving to a different site. he's sick of alabang and wanted to move out with me. with the way things are going in my career, i refused the idea. this is the start of our misunderstanding. october came. fights became frequent. simple misunderstandings became complicated. still we struggled to make it work. first week of november, it went way beyond out of control and we just had to get out of the relationship. i felt i couldn't breathe and needed a time off.
a girl friend came from abroad and acted like a good distraction to me. night outs here and there, countless inuman sessions, catch up for the lost time. met a few acquaintances, even potential dates. a guy friend stood by me and became my constant companion. we talked on the phone a lot (that's probably an understatement Ü) and i enjoyed having someone that i can talk to again. the friendship is admittedly complicated but fun.
conflicts at the office boomed causing the resignation of several friends, including my best friend who's been with me since day 1. i was so devastated and almost felt like leaving too. just then, i passed an internal assessment for a potential promotion. it honestly gave me a new reason to stay.
out on a party with a few friends, i never knew i'd lost a friend in 10 minutes. i was accused of something that up at this point i have no idea which. i tried to reach out for him but to no avail. i was sad it had to end that way. sad that i had to end the year with someone who loathes me so much. i have come to accept that maybe that's the end of our friendship. if only i could turn back time. but i can't. all i can do is move on and pray for the best.
i'm becoming pretty much alcoholic recently. countless drinking sessions with friends. i passed out twice and got really out of control. not good, i know. but the weird thing is, i liked the feeling of getting out of control. the feeling of not knowing what you're doing and that the worst feeling you have is dizziness and all you can do is throw up.
but despite that, i'm actually pretty proud of myself. i'm single and i'm good. i have the feeling that i'll probably stay single for a while. i've been in a steady relationship since God knows when and i thought this will be hard for me. there will be a few flings probably (or maybe one in particular), but i don't think someone will be brave enough to be with me for long. i'm following the three-month rule and i'm sure it's going to be longer than that.
so i'm facing 2009 alone. so what? i haven't actually thought of an agenda yet but i'm gonna come up with something. 2008 have been full of lessons for me and i'm ready to apply what i've learned. i'm staying positive for the next 365 days of my life. Ü
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