Get some tights girls!

Seen out in Newcastle last weekend

Good girl, fag to keep her lungs warm

Go on have a snog, that will keep you warm.

Since Joy of Tights is a British blog it is proud to be obsessed with the weather and apparently:

• The Arctic weather looks set to continue as weather people warn temperatures could stay below average for most of March. 
• On Monday parts of Britain faced temperatures colder than Moscow.  
• And it looks like Spring - due to officially start on March 1 -  could also be delayed, as the Met Office warns much of the next month will also will be colder that usual

So here is Joy of Tights' advice to those party goers in Newcastle who braved the icy pavements dressed only in high heels and skimpy dresses over the weekend.  Even if it doesn't snow...

(1) [Best] Go for opaque tights and long socks

(2) [Not bad] Go for opaques and boots

Maybe not the wellie variety

Kinkier boots, but rather thinner tights

(3) [If nothing else] wear some sheer tights to give your legs some protection

Higher denier sheer

Sheer sheer

However little else you wear put so some tights to keep toes, feet, legs and other parts warm.  (You do not want frost bite there)

And the hottest part of her body is......?

Will the guys be steeling our tights to keep warm?

Newspaper headline.

"Britain is as cold as the ARCTIC: 'Stiletto sharp' winds and snowfall send temperatures plummeting... and it will last until Wednesday"

That's 'Stiletto sharp' winds not 'Stiletto heals' what are you like?

So have your best pair of black tights gone missing?

 Well perhaps the man in your life is wearing them under his jeans to keep warm.

Snug legs

Full length jeans might be better

He may prefer a colour other than black to give more of a skin tone.

He was just looking for his trousers - honest

Ohhh nice match with his jeans

Now I think it is a good idea for guys to wear tights under jeans in this weather.  Especially when you read this:

"Snow and sleet hit parts of the country today as freezing winds continue to sweep Britain, sending temperatures plummeting to levels on a par with the Arctic.

Forecasters at the Met Office said temperatures across much of the country were hovering at or just above freezing, the equivalent of the Hammerfest, in Arctic Norway, which recorded a temperature of 1C today. 

Swathes of the north of England awoke to a blanket of snow this morning, and the cold snap gripping the UK shows no signs of abating as forecasters predict temperatures could plunge as low as minus 11C in northern Scotland in the days to come."

After all guys are the weaker sex.

So guys don't be afraid to ask to borrow her tights. The only problem is if she already thinks you are some kind of pantyhose pervert.

Tights not over pants may be a worrying sign as is a hard on

Painted nails may signify the tights are for more than warmth too

In the mean time us girls will wear our trousers over our tights.

Go Retro with Legwarmers and Tights

Here is something different to keep your legs warm in this cold weather - why not try legwarmers with tights?  Leg warmers will let you show off the tops of your legs in something more sheer while keeping the bottom of your legs warm.  They also let you flash more foot when you take your shoes off - if that floats your boat - or likely the boat of your partner.

Leg warmers are coverings for the lower legs, similar to socks but thicker and generally footless. They were originally used as dancewear by ballet and other classic dancers in order to keep the leg muscles warm and to prevent cramping or other muscle injuries. No scientific data has been yet collected to substantiate the claim that leg warmers prevent injury.  But when have arty types worried about evidence?

In the early 1980s leg warmers became a fad and wearing them was fashionable among teenage girls; later to be an adopted fashion by boys in the city of Berkeley in the San Francisco Bay Area. Their popularity was partly due to the influence of the films Fame and Flashdance and the aerobics craze of the same time.

You can still buy leg warmers lots of places - just try a Google.  If leg warmers and sheer tights sound too cold, you could always wear them with opaques as an alternative to trousers or boots.

Leg warmers and video cassettes - about the same era?

Some people wear leg warmers all year round.

But they may just be posers.

Joy of Tights Guide to Keeping Warm.

With more snow coming to the UK here is my advice.

(1) Wear thicker tights outdoors

These need not be plain opaques but could be pattered:

or even sparkly

(2) Don't go outside in sheer tights

(3) Wear sheer tights indoors.  Keeping your thick woolly tights on inside will cause you to overheat and you won't feel the benefit when you go outside.  What's more with your legs snug in sheers you won't need to turn up the heating so high.

Hope her muff isn't cold without panties

And rubbing your tights against a friend's can generate lots of heat

So hot they could burst into flames and leave behind six piles and ash and a charred carpet?

(4) Wear socks over your tights.  I hate to say this but they will keep your feet warm.

They could even be long socks....

Which girl is hottest?

All that nylon friction will generate heat

(5) Light a real fire  Psychologically it makes you feel warmer too.

Get a neighbour or friend to spontaneously combust to reduce fuel costs

(6) Have a party and dance.  Invite the neighbours round , more bodies and movement means more heat.  And of course all that alcohol will warm you up

Those girls must be cold with bare legs

(7) Find a man to cuddle

or a girl if you prefer

Start with a good snog and then work up to full sex to generate extra heat

Will he be hot enough for both of you girls?

Putting the Boot into Winter

With the coming of the wet and windy weather it is time to get into a nice pair of boots.

A chance to wear those nice boots Father Christmas brought you.

Blow Santa a kiss

And make his Christmas  by giving him a little up-skirt flash 

What kind of boots
By boots, I mean boots that will keep a reasonable portion of you legs warm, not the Doc Martin's you wore in the summer.

or even your funky platformed ankle boots you love.

• Ugg Boots.  If you must.  Shapeless and style less.  Easier to get away with if you are young.

• Boots with a flat heal.  I don't like anything flat.  But sometimes flats or virtual flats are the only practical footwear.

At least these are shiny

Boots with flat heels, good to stop you over-balancing if you need a pee in the woods

• Chunky healed and/or platformed boots.  Look better than flats, but easier to walk in than spiky heels, especially over uneven ground.

He likes her in boots

• Boots with stiletto heels.  Much sexier, much more elegant.  Good for spiking the foot of a guy you don't like.  On the other foot, tend to get stuck in muddy grass or uneven pavements.

• Lace up boots.  Can have chunky or stiletto heels.  Just a little bit slutty.

Slutty boots at work?  If your boss comes in now he will be ripping your tights open and doing you doggy style.

• Slutty boots.  Extra long so extra warm, and extra sexy.  And you could be offered some extra income by any guy who sees you in the boots.

Radio slut

• Wellies.  Only if snows, and then get some funky wellies and wear them with funky tights.

Frozen tits?

But what you should wear on your legs with your boots?

• Bare legs.  Ohhhh much too cold.

• Trousers.  Nice and warm but these hide your legs.  There are two ways to wear your trousers.
• Outside your boots.  Warm, but defeats the object, no one can see your boots.
• Inside your boots.  This gives your trousers that horrible creased look.

• Leggings. Nice and warm, but you might as well wear opaque tights and keep your tootsies toasty as well. 

• Hold-ups.  Warmer that bare legs, but the wind will still whip up your knickers and freeze your clit off.  Still sexier than trousers.

Good job she is not wearing hold ups

• Tights.  Tights keep you warm right up to the waist and they allow you to show off the shape of your legs.

But what kind of tights?

• Opaques.  The obvious choice: thick and warm.

• Patterned tights.  Mostly thick and warm like opaques but add more interest to your legs.

• Cotton and/or Wool Tights.  Warmest option.  Not being sheer they don't make your legs so sexy, but do at least preserve the shape of your legs.  And cotton stays fresher than nylon and Lycra.

• Sheer tights.  Obviously not as warm, but legs you show off your legs better.

But I cannot show much of my legs in boots

It's true that if you have good legs you can't show so much of them off.  But you can take your boots off very slowly and tease any guys watching.

Now guys, admit it, you find this lady taking off her boots such a turn on

Still cold in boots and tights?

Sit it the grate and get someone to make a fire.  You tights and tits will ignite nicely