"I'm Losing My Mind" Kind of Day

The other night I sat upright in Luke's bed.  His three-year-old body had ran, jumped, sprinted, hopped, danced, giggled, wiggled, peed, pooped, ate, drank, sang, three-wheeled, squealed, swung, slid, not napped and disobeyed for nearly thirteen hours.  And he was still going.

I was so tired.  Oh my word.

Brent was working late and it had been an "I'm about to lose my mind" kind of day.

It isn't everyday I feel as if I have "three boys," but this day...I had three boys.

Three busy and boisterous boys.

I lay against Luke's head board, propped up against a patchwork pillow sham, "Are You My Mother" laying against my chest, Luke jumping on the bed, my eyes closed.

"Lord, I just have to confess.  I didn't really like my kids today.  I love them.  I would do anything for them.  But right now, in this moment, I must say didn't like them.  I feel as if I have been beaten up.  Resisted.  Rejected all day long.  I am restless.  I just didn't like being a mommy today."

I hated that prayer.  But if we are to come to the Lord with everything...I can't deny this one.  Overcome with guilt I lay there, head back and eyes still closed,  convincing myself that I am all alone in this honest prayer.

Mommy faces started coming to mind...moms whom I admire.  Mothers to whom I hope my parenting would liken.  "They never feel this way."  I thought.   "Chances are high they are working puzzles and baking cookies right now.  And here I am.  Beating my head against a pillow sham. Sulking in fatigue and frustration."

After two Dr. Seuss books, one I Spy and a Bible story, Luke had given it up.  My baby boy tuckered.  His breathing soft.  I  stared at his face for a long time before turning out the light.

But when [Jesus] saw the multitudes, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were weary and scattered.  Matthew 9:36

I can only imagine how Jesus sees me.  His daughter.  Busy and boisterous. Resistant and restless.  But He has yet to throw His baby out with the bath water.  No.  He doesn't toss back His head back in frustration at me.  He never complains.  Instead...He has compassion.

Compassion for the weary.

Compassion for the scattered.

Compassion for the resistant.

Compassion for the restless.

Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us. Ephesians 5:1, 2

Since my honest prayer, I have talked to several moms about this "not liking my kids" moment.  One mother I spoke to was one I pictured baking cookies and working puzzles....and you know what? She sometimes feels this way, too.

Praise the Lord, I'm not alone.  You aren't either.

It is time to stop condemning myself for being the worst mom ever and start remembering the mercy that will be new tomorrow.  I need to start remembering that I am not alone in my "losing my mind"kind of days.  And I most definitely need to remember that my Heavenly Daddy is one of the greatest compassion.

I want my parenting to liken Him.

Lord, let me be an imitator of Your compassion.  Let me parent in Your power and in Your strength today.  Thank You that I can bring my most rawest emotions to You and You aren't scared or offended.  Thank You that you meet me exactly where I am.  And You have COMPASSION on me.  Amazing.  Thank You for being, most literally, the best Daddy in the world.  I am a thankful daughter. Amen.


Thank you Beautifully Rooted for hosting me today!  What an honor!

One Latte with Post-It Notes and Humble Pie, Please

Early the other morning, as I sat at my dining room table having coffee with the Lord, my sweet Grant quietly crept over, sliding a round post-it note beside my Bible.

It read....

Some mornings, the boys wake and walk downstairs before I've had a chance to write their Bible verse on the chalkboard.  In that case, I give them permission to climb up on the counter (which they love to do) and I tell them the verse for morning quiet time.

This particular morning, Grant gave me his suggestion.

I read the note and asked, "James 4:10.  OK. What does it say?"

So he came over and peeked over my shoulder.  I flipped back to the book of James.

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will exalt you.  James 4:10

"Oooh. Good one, buddy.  Why this verse?"

"I just like it," he said.

Oh, you have no idea.  Listen, I write this not to say "Look at my overly-zealous, humble and spiritual eight-year-old."  No way.... in many ways it is the opposite.

You see, when I started using my prayer cards, one of the KEY WORDS on Grant's 3x5 is my cry out to God for HUMILITY for this kid.  I pray often that he would have desire to put other's needs over his own.  I regularly pray Colossians 3:12 over his life.  I pray Grant would..."Put on a compassionate heart, kindness, HUMILITY meekness and patience."

This post-it note was confirmation that God is doing a work.  It may be years before I see a huge harvest of humble pie, but today I am encouraged.

And when I see him literally pushing his brothers to the ground to be first in the van or ferociously scooping up the last helping of macaroni and cheese, I will remember the little note he slid beside my Bible. {grin}

It serves as hope to this little mama.  I trust and BELIEVE that God is revealing to Grant that humility is where his bread is buttered.

Lord, thank you thank you thank you.  I needed the encouragement.  I pray you will use this little post-it note to encourage other mommies and daddies today.  That no matter if they are seeing the fruit of the prayers going up for their own kids, YOU HEAR EACH PRAYER and are at work.  In Jesus Name, Amen.

I'd love to hear of a time you've seen a little (or a lot) of fruit from your own prayers. Share if you have a minute...

On Boys Becoming Men

We were running later than we'd hoped.

Three paper plates full of hot dogs, grapes and pretzels had been gobbled up by my three hungry little birds.  Each boy sun-screened up and ready to head to the pool.

Our goal - leave at 11:20.

It was 11:10.

"Grant, would you help mommy collect the plates from the table?  And put the cold things inside the fridge?"

Speaking of birds....chirp chirp.  Silence.

My voice a bit sharper, "Grant?  Did you hear me?"

He was no longer in the kitchen.  Instead he was found belly down, plopped on the couch.  One arm dangling off of the side.  Face buried in a pillow.

A muffled voice, "Can't Ethan help?  I am so tired."

My blood now rolling to a slow boil.

"Grant, I need you to come help me, son.  You are not tired.  We are trying to leave for the pool.  In order to get out of the door, I need your cooperation."

No movement.

{Sassy mom fighting her way out now...}

"OK Grant.  The next time you are hungry and ask for a snack I will lay down on the couch and tell you I am much too tired.  I just can't do it.  And your dinner?  Don't I fix that all of the time?  Maybe I will be too tired later to fix that, too.  Isn't it Daddy's turn?  Or Ethan's?  Yes, it's Ethan's turn to fix dinner.  Fruit loops and trail mix for all."

A little grin. "Mom."

With a  huff, "Just go on upstairs, Grant.  Seriously.  I am bummed out about your attitude right now.  Just go on up.  I need to talk to Daddy about your unwillingness to serve."

Dragging his feet, he headed up the steps.  Still grumbling about his terrible fatigue.

I took my cup and held it up to the ice maker.  I glanced at Brent.

"I keep waiting on it to kick in."

Brent - "For what to kick in?"

"His desire to serve.  A little more maturity.  I keep waiting on his bend to be towards service and not passivity."

Brent stopped the running water and put down his plate.  His looked me square in the eye.  As serious as the summer day is long.

"It will never kick in."

"What?"

"It will never kick in.  Men are made.  It will take a childhood of doing hard thing after hard thing.  Training after training.  I was the same way.  I had to do so many hard things before I understood being a man.  I've worked with hundreds of college guys...and trust me...it doesn't just kick in."

It's true.  Men are made.  Not born.  Even the apostle Paul speaks of his own turning point.

When I was a child I spoke like a child, I reasoned like a child.  When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 1 Corinthians 13:11

In the Greek the word for became is ginomai.  And specifically in this particular passage it is defined as "being made.  To prove oneself.  To arise.  To come to pass." 


And this isn't just a boy thing.  The word for man also refers to both genders.  There is a "becoming" for both male and female.  A process of being made mature.  Of proving of oneself mature.  An arising of the servant-heart. 
And maturity will, bless God, come to pass.


So parents be encouraged.  It may take 100 times of clearing plates from the table.  It may take 100 mowed lawns or 100 loads of laundry, but there is a "becoming" going on in the heart of your child.  Behind the grumbles and slouched shoulders, there is a man fighting his way to the surface.  Maturity is coming to pass.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

Lord, forgive me for not operating in patience toward my sweet boy.  Give me mind to remember that he is still in training.  I believe, in faith, that you are molding his servant's heart.  That you are molding him into a man.  I pray that , every single day, I will shepherd his heart to yours.  Please allow all of our children to bear your image Jesus. Let them grow into men and women who do the hard thing, who pick up their cross daily, and follow hard after you.  In Jesus Name, Amen.


Can you share a time when you have seen this maturity come to pass through doing hard things?

Dollywood's Got Nothin' On You

Two mornings ago, the sun shone brightly through my bamboo, Roman shade. 

 My eyes opened and immediately I heard Him speak.

"This summer, be filled."

His voice, quiet and clear.

"Be filled."

He is faithful to answer my questions.  The past weeks, I had been asking...

Lord, what is Your purpose for this summer?  

Give me a word.  Give me a Scripture to claim.  

What do you want me to teach my boys?  Let's get creative.

And intentional.

"Be filled," He said.

Each summer I have focused on something.  Summertime Sanity, remember?! And then last year we planned a Summer of Significance.  We've read books and made crafts and kept calendars. 

And it was great!

But this Summer, the Lord is having me keep it simple.

"Be filled."

Parent, you don't need a new book or catchy moto this summer.  

The Holy Spirit lives inside you.  

You are in dwelt with the power that called light into existence.

Do you know this about yourself?  

If you haven't thought about this earth-shattering truth in a while sip your coffee and smile...

The Spirit of the Creator God lives in you and empowers your life.

This summer, be filled.

What does that mean to you?  What does that mean for your summer?  For your children?

How could this summer look different if we walk fully in the creativity of His Spirit?

Dollywood ain't got nothin' on you, honey.  This summer may just be the ride of your life.

As I have researched the word "filled" and prayed about my boys, I have asked the Lord what He wants me to do for the next 76 summer days.  Again, He answered.  Giving me one thing I thought I'd share.

It is simple.  But has been a blessing.

My two older boys (ages almost 9 & 6) have a new morning routine.

Each day, first thing when they come downstairs, they look at the chalkboard.

On it will be a passage reference.  Theirs to look up.  

I bought them each a new journal (spiral Mead notebook) and gave them pens and markers.

Quietly, they grab their Bible and start to flippin'.

I ask them to write out the verse. And next write down a few observations.

Ethan is younger, so sometimes he draws a picture or simply decorates the verse with fun color letters.  Then we will talk about it.

Either way, they are handling the Word of God.  First thing every morning.

They are old enough to begin embracing their own quiet times.

Yesterday, this verse graced our chalkboard.

And the disciples were filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit. Acts 13:52

After Ethan wrote this down he said, "That's it?"

I couldn't help but laugh.  I said, 

"Yes, that's it.  But what are two things we know about Jesus' disciples from this simple phrase."

"Umm.  They were happy?"

"Yes, full of joy. What else?"

"And they had the Holy Spirit?"

"Yep.  The Bible says they were full of that, too.  Filled with His Spirit.  Do you think that we are full of joy when we are filled full of God?...."

And on we went....having a casual conversation about a life-changing Biblical truth.

I told you, simple.

But intentional.

Today, I pray the Lord would speak to you about your summer. 

Or maybe He has already!

 I hope you'll share.

Share a word.  Or His vision.  

For your children and the next 76 days.  

Thanks for letting me share mine {smile}.

Day 20: Love Throws a Party!

This past week was party central at the Crenshaw house!

Ethan turned six-years-old last Wednesday.

Two cakes and two parties later, I have a lot of stories to tell. So many sweet memories and belly laughs.

Little cake crumbs in the floor and muddy shoes in my kitchen. There is something about a house full of ten rowdy, little boys that makes my heart very glad.

I mean, just look at these faces. Who couldn't love it?

(Watch our Peyton Manning, these boys are coming after your record. Lots of raw talent here.)


I am a little ashamed to say that this is Ethan's first "big" party in a few years. He really does get the "middle child" treatment sometimes {sad face}. So this year, we wanted to make up for it.

He chose the theme {football}, he chose the food {football}, he chose the games {football}...it was his big week.

It's not every day you get cinnamon rolls and ice cream for breakfast. Nope, only when you turn six.


Last week, my to-do list was party detail after party detail. Lots to hole punch, cut out and wrap. Mommies, you know what I mean.

But, parents throw parties....



...because we adore our children!

And all the effort is worth it because we want our kids to know how much we love them. We want them to be celebrated! {And birthday cake is my favorite -bonus!}


But while he was still a long way off, his father say him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him...The father said to his servants, "Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found." And they began to celebrate. Luke 15:21-24

The familiar story of the prodigal son. This is one proud papa! His lost son had returned. He was overcome with joy and compassion. Forgiveness and pride!

My boy! Let us throw a party in his honor! I want him to know how special his is! How much I love him! I am so happy he is here and a part of my life!

Mmm. Don't we feel this same way? Prodigals or not?

Day 20: Love Throws a Party

Today,celebrate someone! This may not mean inviting ten children into your home, but it may mean making a batch of cookies. Or playing a favorite board game. Maybe your hubby could use a shoulder rub. Have the kids make him a card. What is his favorite meal? Maybe your BFF hasn't bought that new CD yet.. Surprise her with it.

Today, celebrate someone special to you. It doesn't have to be a full blown party. No fattened calves necessary. Maybe just a little something to say, "You are are gift to me. And I honor you."

Day Eight: Love Doesn't Get Her Feelings Hurt {ahem}

Last night, my party of five hopped into Brent's car. Destination --The Honda dealership. Brent was driving, the boys were piled in the backseats and I rolled passenger style. Yesterday our van took a field trip to the service department for some routine maintenance. It was time to get it. When we arrived, the plan was to switch the boys from Brent's car back into the van with me. Simple enough.

Grant shouted from the backseat, "I want to ride with Dad once we get there."

Ethan chimed in, "Yea. Me too. I don't want to ride with mom. I want to ride with dad."

Then they chanted simultaneously, "Daddy-time! Daddy-time!"

I looked to Brent, kind of wanting to cry, "I could really let me feelings be hurt if I wanted to."

"What do you mean?"

"I am chopped liver these days. Mommy is no where nearly as exciting, awesome, cool, fun or popular as Daddy. They are not are fighting to ride with me."

The boys have arrived. They are officially to the age of distancing themselves from me and attaching to Brent. I have read all about it. James Dobson warned me. Mother's of older boys confirmed it.

But there was a piece of me that still hung to a little hope that they wouldn't pull too far. Maybe 50/50.

But nope. Dobson was right.

"Hey guys." Brent said to the backseat. "I know you all miss Daddy when I'm gone all day, but let's not discourage mommy. It's not that you don't love mommy and want to be with her. You just need a little daddy time, right? Maybe we can honor her when we get home and give her a little rest while we play."

{smile} Thanks, Brent.
I hopped into our newly serviced van, alone. "Lord, I am so thankful for Brent's relationship with our boys! He is an amazing dad. I want them to attach to him. He will make them men. But I confess it is painful to release them. Even a little. They are my babies."

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud . 1 Corinthians 13:4

Jesus mine as well been there in the flesh. Rolling passenger side with me. Whispering this common, wedding scripture to my soul.

Love is not jealous. Love is not jealous.

Die to the urge. Do not be envious of Brent's sweet relationship with the boys.

They. Need. Him. To. Be. A. Cool. Involved. Hands on. Wrestling. Football-throwing. Dad.

I choose to celebrate God's goodness to my boys in providing Brent. I choose to rejoice and be glad.

By golly.

Day Eight: Love Doesn't Get Her Feelings Hurt

Do you relate to this? Maybe you do not struggle with jealousy in this way, but maybe towards a sibling? Or a friend? Are you jealous of your co-worker's promotion? Or the recognition another child is getting over your own? Do you feel like "so and so" always gets a break? Love is not jealous. Today, choose to rejoice for others! Choose to rejoice in God's plan for their life. Choose to see God's goodness to them and be glad. Truly glad for their blessings.

December Ideas For Your Family (Brent - no peeking!)

A few weeks ago, I received an email from one of my dearest and best. It was full of amazing, meaningful, warm, and Christ-centered cozy ideas for Christmas. Over the next few days, I thought I would share with you some of those ideas, along with what the Crenshaw's are planning as we move toward the big day!

Today, the kiddos will begin preparing a surprise gift for Daddy!! The older boys are memorizing a passage of Scripture to recite to Brent on Christmas morning. (I cry at the thought of this moment.) This surprise is major "hush hush" which makes the boys all the more eager to memorize it! They love the thrill of a surprise! I have chosen Luke 2:8-20, but your family could chose any passage. I may have Lukey (age 3) memorize just one or two verses, as twelve would be too many.

If you want to join us, here's how we are breaking up the passage for memory...

Luke 2:8 - And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night.

Luke 2:9 - An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified.

Luke 2:10 - But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.

Luke 2:11 - Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.

Luke 2:12 - This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."

Luke 2:13 - Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

Luke 2:14 - "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."

Luke 2:15 - When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about."

Luke 2:16 - So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger.

Luke 2:17 - When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child,

Luke 2:18 - and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them.

Luke 2:19 - But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.

Luke 2:20 - The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

HOW FUN! I hope you'll share some of your ideas, too!!

The Fall of June Cleaver

An excellent wife who can find? - Proverbs 31:10

Last night turned ugly.

The evening started very well. Cool weather. A pot of soup on the stove. Brent walked in the front door to a happy wife in the kitchen and happy kids playing in the back yard.

We all sat at dinner and shared our Friday highs. Afterwards the boys threw football with daddy while I cleaned the kitchen. Bliss.

The kids came in for baths as I folded laundry. (June Cleaver never had it so good.)



Brent said, "Hey, I think I'll go get us a movie. I would enjoy some alone time. A little solitude to refuel."

Great idea. A movie. A refreshed husband. A calm, post-bedtime house. Love this idea.

So he left. I headed downstairs to make popcorn for the boys.

Well, I don't know what happens from the top of the stairs to the bottom, but a blissful night with children can turn to chaos in 0.2 seconds. Amen? In the blink of an eye, the boy's blissful behavior turned to fighting and name calling. The hush of my happy home became crying and crazy. And whose fault was all of this?

Brent's.

How could he leave me at bedtime? Arguably the most difficult part of the day! I'm tired, they're tired. And I'm now left to break up fights, read bedtime stories, brush teeth and do this all alone. Poo.

I call him. (Bad idea.) "Where are you? Are you almost done? I am struggling here. Could you come on back."

"Yes."

And he comes home. Long story longer, I should have never called. He needed that time. I needed to leave him be. I'm a big girl. I can handle fussy kids at bedtime. I've done it 1,000 times. I just shouldn't have called. (So much for June Cleaver.)

Was he mad? No. Was he frustrated? Very much so. I don't blame him.

An excellent wife who can find?

Excellent: (chayil) Virtuous, strength, might, efficiency, ability, force, power, leader of the army, upright, integrity, as the strength of a tree.

The word excellent means woman of strength. "It is the same word used to describe the character of Israel's Judges indicating that they were able and well qualified for their profession. So it follows that a wise woman is able and qualified for her work, has command of her own spirit and is able to manage others. She is a woman of resolution who, having chosen godly principles, is firm and faithful to them." - Dillow, The Creative Counterpart

Last night, I did not have command of my own spirit. I turned into a big baby and placed undo blame on my husband. I was not acting as one well qualified for my job.

Too often I get that "Well, I don't get a break" attitude towards Brent. And that's not fair. Nor is that really true. The Lord gives me several opportunities to refresh throughout the day. I don't always take them, but He always offers me rest. Rest only found in Him.

Dillow writes, "A strong bond of faithfulness and trust must have existed between the woman in Proverbs 31 and her husband. This trust can be applied to her husband's confidence in her ability to manage the household affairs: he knew that she was competent and that when he returned from his work each evening, he would find the home and family not in chaos but in order. Which of these situations does your husband find when he walks in the door."

Umm.

Brent, I am so sorry. I confess that I was not being compassionate towards your needs last night. I was being selfish. Forgive Buster?

An excellent woman who can find? Well, not in my house last night.

But today, I revel in the mercies of a new day. In faith, I am woman of strength in the power of the Holy Spirit. So are you.

Oh, how I need the Lord. My goodness.

In my own strength, I wuss out with fussy boys at bedtime. But in HIS POWER, I can lead an army.

Flying Off The Handle

I had every intention of writing a different post today. I even started typing it.

But the Lord whispered in my soul...You're ignoring me.

So here the deal. What is it with me and anger lately?

A few nights ago, I went to visit a friend. We sat on her front porch watching our kids climb a Magnolia tree and play a game of kickball.

Something struck me about my friend's interaction with her children. She talked to her kids. Yes, when she needed to correct them, she talked to them. Notice the "to them."

I, on the other hand, talk at my children. My friend dialogued with her kids when giving instruction. I, however, monologue with my children. One-sided. "This is what you do. This is how you do it. Get it? Got it? Good.

I don't know if it is me being t.i.r.e.d. or maybe p.m.s. I could be just flat out crabby. Nevertheless, I've recently been short-tempered and flying off the handle at my boys.

Here's the deal with anger...

1. My boys will learn these same behaviors from me - yikes. (Proverbs 22:24)
2. I demonstrate foolishness. (Proverbs 14:29)
3. I stir up strife. (Proverbs 29:22)
4. I'm brought to shame. (Proverbs 25:8)
5. You shouldn't really be my friend. (Proverbs 22:24)
6. Anger just leads to more quarrels. (Proverbs 17:14)

I'm not writing this to be down on myself. I writing this to be honest with myself. And honest with you and with the Lord. I am in agreement that I can not display outbursts of anger at my children. They are little people. Not sounding boards. They deserve to be talked to...not talked at...and fussed at....and, even worse, yelled at.

I am in agreement with God and His Word that anger is for the birds.

Know this my beloved brothers (and sisters); let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger. James 1:20

I might need a tattoo.

"Be quick to hear." My eight-year-old has said 1,000 times, "Mom, you didn't let me finish what I was saying."

He is right. I am too busy talking at him. Ugh.

Lord Jesus, your Holy Spirit lives within me. You are my Helper (John 14:26). Help me operate in self-control. I can do anything with You. Nothing is too difficult.

Here are the benefits of controlling my anger:

1. I have great understanding (Proverbs 14:29)
2. I can quiet contention - nice. (Proverbs 15:18)
3. Ceasing from anger is honored (Proverbs 20:3)
4. I will inherit the earth - no kidding. There is blessing in obedience. Think about Joseph. His brothers threw him under the bus, selling him into slavery, but his lack of anger led him to prosperity for himself and an entire nation. (Psalm 37:9, Gen 45, 50:15-21).

Thanks for listening as I process.

Do you relate to this in anyway?

More verses I need on the tablet of my heart... Have a blessed day.

Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit that he who takes a city. Proverbs 16:32

Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11

Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Proverbs 17:27

Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3

Never Too Young To Cast Our Cares

My little Ethan (sweet face in the middle) has been struggling.

Kindergarten has been a very hard adjustment for him. Like, crying when we pull in the parking lot hard.

Bottom line, he is afraid. Afraid of messing up and not doing something right, afraid I won't come back to get him, afraid of the large crowds, overwhelmed by the new rules. A spirit of fear. I am not exaggerating when I say something of an oppressive nature is afflicting his precious little self.

And Mama bear is getting quite angry. So this morning, I'm getting out my fightin' words.

Yesterday, when we were riding in the van I taught Ethan a new verse.

Cast your burden on the LORD and he will sustain you. Psalm 55:22

He asked, "But what does cast mean?"

"It means to give away to God."

"What does sustain mean?"

"It means to keep you going. To watch over you. God will help you out. Make sense?"

"Yeah."

"So let's make a list of all of your worries. All of your fears. And we'll give them away to God together."

We dialogued about his anxieties. All of his worries about school and missing mommy. And he seemed to feel better. Until... a sudden outburst of tears.

"What if I forget that I have given God my fears. What if I take them back?"

Sweet boy. Sweet, sweet, sweet boy.

"Then you just give them right back again."

We do this don't we? Cast our burdens on the Lord. Then take them right back.

Cast (shalak) actually means to throw, hurl or fling. Isn't that a great thought? To hurl our worries away. Never to be seen, felt or thought of again.

Do you have a care you need to fling today?

If so, together let's yell one - two - three - Heave Ho. Cast that thing over the side of the boat.

Let the Lord sustain you today.

And join me in prayer for my little man. Ethan will overcome, I know. He will. In Jesus Name, he is an overcomer.

(Some more fightin' words...)

The Lord shall fight for you, and you shall hold your peace. Exodus 14:14

Behold, I am the Lord, the God of flesh; is there any thing too hard for me? Jeremiah 32:27

In God have I put my trust; I will not be afraid what man can do to me. Psalm 56:11

The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoices and with my song I praise him. Psalm 28:7

For God has not given us a spirit of fear; but of power, love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

Fear not for I am with you, do not be afraid for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

A Poem for the School Boy

Oh my sweet boy, what can I say?
Weren't you born just the other day?

How did this happen? You big guy, you.
All grown up and going to
Kindergarten, today its true!

I am thrilled and proud!
(But so sad, too.)

Last night I tucked you in your bed.
It all came to me - the books we've read,
The games we've played, the Sunday praise,
The fun we've had these schooless days.

But now it's time to send you out.
So run and learn and jump and shout!

"I'm five and smart and ready to start
This school God's called me to be part!"

Now don't forget, I'll be right here
To help you read and dry your tears.

I wish you knew how proud I am
to call you mine and hold your hand.

My big school boy, have a great first day
You go on, I'll stay here and pray.

Now, Sweet Lord, between us two
Watch over Him. Protect him, too.

I know you love him more that I
But I don't like to say "good-bye."

So this is what I'll have to do,
I'll find rest in your Word, it's true.

"For I know the plans I have for you
To give them hope and a future, too."

Those words so sweet to mommy ears.
I know you love my little dears.

Now hold my hand and dry my tears
And thank you for these special years.

Day 31 of Prayer! Sending Out The Farmers...

A heart for missions

Last week at the pool, I had the great privilege of meeting a little boy who had recently come home from Ghana.

At the age of three, he was adopted into a Jesus-lovin' family of six. Mom. Dad. And four older brothers.

I spoke with the mother about her adoption experience. "Yes, our family is actually going back to live in Ghana. We are committing to two years. We are all so excited!"

Her oldest boy is fourteen and they stair-step down from there. "How do your older boys feel about the move?"

"We had a family meeting and told them the calling their daddy and I both heard from the Lord. We told them, 'you all are not going with us as missionary kids.'" She smiled, "'You are going as missionaries.'"

Mmmm. That is powerful.

Children
"Lord, please help my children to develop a desire to see your glory declared among the nations. A desire to see your marvelous deeds among all peoples."



Let no one despise you because of your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love , in faith and in purity." 1 Timothy 4:12

It is never too early to instill in our children a ministry mindset.

Jesus didn't say, "When you turn eighteen, Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations..."

Jesus says. GO. Make disciples. Matthew 28:19

I pray my boys see themselves as missionaries. Everywhere they go. There is always an opportunity to minister. Always. At school. At the gym. On the soccor field. At the pool. Even at church...do ministry. Serve others. Bless others. Sow seeds of love, encouragement, compassion, service, hugs, pats on the back....sow, sow, sow.

A new school year is beginning. For some of you that beginning is today. Let this be a year of casting vision. This is the year of sowing seed. I want to encourage my boys to see themselves as little farmers. Little disciple makers. Little missionaries. And for Ethan (age 5), I might need to clarify a few times exactly what that means. But it is not too early to learn.

Even a rising kindergartner can sow seeds. "Go on little farmer. Sow seeds of love today. Help your friend with his back pack. Give a little girl the seat you would really like to have. Help your buddy open his Gogurt. Sow sow sow."

The harvest is plenty, but the workers are few. Therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into the harvest. Luke 10:2

Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous works among all the peoples!" Psalm 96:3

Myself and others
"Lord, please help me and _____________ develop a desire to see your glory declared among the nations, as well. Give us a desire to see your marvelous deeds among all peoples."

God bless you today, my fellow farmer.

Popcorn and Sweet Cheeks

I rarely write in the evenings. But here lately, little Pookie (a.k.a. Luke age 2.9) has been quite contrary to the idea of bedtime. I wish I could say that I am firm and as soon as he comes down the steps I'm waiting on him with the spanking stick. I wish I could say he knows I mean business and he can not get out of his bed.

But.

He is my third, and probably my last. And I am a sucker.

Tonight, however, I thought, "Tonight, things must change. No more cute Pookie coming down the steps for late night popcorn with mommy. No more puppy dog eyes staring at me over a bright orange paci."

(Yes, he still has a paci. Don't judge.)

Nope... tonight, I was going to (start) being consistent.

Eight o'clock rolled around and I curled up in bed with him, his little tan hand turning each page of a Thomas the Tank book. I read, he snuggled. At the book's end, I turned out the light. And instead of saying good night and closing his door...I stayed.

I stayed because something within me was highly aware of the time. Not bedtime...but the tic-toc of childhood.

Don't you wish we could slow it down?

My "littlest man" was born almost THREE years ago.

His birthday 8-8-08. A day set apart for great things.

Even China thought so.

I stayed a while in his double bed. Surrounded by build-a-bears and board books, petting his hair and singing lullaby's.

Praying and holding back tears.

He barely even smells like a baby anymore. He even smells three. (Silly. But mom you know what I mean.)

Would someone please tell me how to make this clock stop? Slow the hands of little-boyhood?

How do I punch pause on these sweet cheeks?



Anybody know?

I am so thankful. Thankful to the Lord for this little guy. The missing piece to the Crenshaw clan. I am so thankful for his quiet feet slipping down the stairs for popcorn. I am so thankful for his tan hands and funny dance moves. I am so thankful for his devout passion for chicken nuggets and affection for Lightening McQueen.

I am so thankful he is mine. Even though not really.

He is the Lord's.

I am so thankful for God's good and perfect plan for His life. I am so honored to have his life touch mine.

Sweet boy. I am better because of you.

Now... let's go back to bed. Good night.

Mason Jars for Jesus - Giving Away My Best

I look forward to July for this reason.



Limelight Hydrangeas.

The prized possession of my not-so-green-thumb. Aside from my children, and a few untasty tomato plants, they are the only thing that I've had part in growing.

My vases wait in anticipation every year longing for their long stems.



And if I cut them at just the right time, they will dry and remain beautiful all year long.

Yesterday morning, I opened my curtains and there they stood to greet me. I swear they stand tall, knowing they are center stage of my sun-beaten backyard.

The neighbor that lives behind me has mentioned how she admires them, too. I have been waiting for them to grow bigger before I cut them, giving her a bouquet that would dry and remain for her all year, as well. I grab my shears and take to my plant.

And as I start to cut, I start from the bottom. Choosing the smaller of the tree - not wanting to taint the view I enjoy from my kitchen window.

I hear the Lord, "Cut from the top. Cut the best ones for her."

Some say they don't know when the Lord is speaking, and I agree, His voice can sometimes be hard to discern. This morning not so. I knew it was Him - because this one was hard."

I start to dialogue in my Spirit.

But these are beautiful, too. Just smaller.

"Off the top. Give your very best, Becky."

The Lord knows me well. Cutting flowers was only a picture of my giving heart. I offer myself to the Lord, I offer my life, my kids, my money, my service, but oftentimes my sacrifice is from the bottom. I want to hold the top for myself. I withhold my best for fear there won't be any left for me.

Then I hear further instruction...

"Give them all away. Every flower. Everyday, cut a bouquet to give. Until they are gone. Sacrifice your best, everyday."

All of them?

I come in from my backyard and Brent looks at me. "What are you doing?"

"The Lord wants me to give my flowers away. All of them. Today, He wants Kelly to have these."

(Brent must think I'm crazy.)

So before eight o'clock yesterday morning, I drop these off on Kelly's porch.



This morning, I think of Abraham who waited his entire life for a child. He was 100-years-old when Isaac was born. Abraham loved him so. Isaac his prized possession.

Can you imagine how Abraham felt when he heard the Lord say, "Take your son, your only son--yes, Isaac, whom you love so much--and go to the land of Moriah. Go and sacrifice him as a burnt offering on one of the mountains, which I will show you." (Genesis 22:3)

And Abraham did it. He got up the next morning and obeyed the Lord. Thankfully the story ends well, but imagine the obedience involved in the "getting up the next day and going" part. I could just cry at the thought.

But the Lord asks similar of us. With our children, much like my Limelights, although we have watered and fed and grown them, they are not ours. We will be asked to give them back. To send them out into the world as a blessing to others.

So on a very small "Abraham scale", I cut my prized limelights, practicing the art of sacrificing my first fruits - my very best for the Lord.

Cutting flowers in Jesus' Name. Who knew?

In every area of my life - my money, my love, my time, even my children, I give it all back to Him. For His Name. For His Glory.

Be blessed today. And if you see me coming towards you with a mason jar of flowers, you'll know why.

31 Days of Prayer: Nineteen (Taming The Ego)

Humility

Children
"God, please cultivate in my children the ability to show true humility toward all."

Titus 3:2
Slander no one...be peaceable and considerate, and show true humility toward all men.

My children love to "one up" each other. Do yours?

"I got in the van first."
"I have read that book before."
"I'm the only one who ate all of their dinner."
"Oh, I've already done that."

Pride, pride, pride, pride, pride, pride, pride.

David writes, "Surely I was sinful from birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me." Psalm 51:5

My sweet boys came into this world full of pride. It is part of their innate make-up. It is a work of the Holy Spirit to tame this trait. I can't "make them" humble.

My job is to point out their high "self-regard" and lead them to Christ.

"Ooooh, buddy. I hear pride talking. Let's act out of humility, please."
"Yes, ma'am."

Pride will get a token lost in the Crenshaw home. It goes against the "Honor Each Other" rule.

I want my boys to recognize pride when it rears its head.

I want to train them to speak to it and tell that ugly thing to go away.

Jesus operated out of a place of deep humility. Charles Spurgeon says, "If we would live properly, it must be by the contemplation of His death; if we would rise to dignity, it must be by considering His humiliation and sorrow."

His death was motivated by deep love for us, sacrifice, humility and obedience to the Father.

Jesus is the only thing we can take pride in.



May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. Galatians 6:4

Myself and Others
"Lord, cultivate in me and __________ the ability to show true humility to all. Help us to recognize and die to pride daily."

31 Days of Prayer: Fifteen (Generosity)

Generosity

Children
"Grant that my children may be rich in good deeds, generous and willing to share."

Myself and Others
"Grant that I and ___________ would always be rich in good deeds, generous and willing to share."

They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share. 1 Timothy 6:18

I love this...
When I tell my boys to share with each other, I know now to say, "Listen, this is God's plan for us. First Timothy says to be generous. And ready...waiting on an opportunity to share with others."

Mmmm, good stuff.

31 Days of Prayer: Ten (Self-Esteem)

Biblical self-esteem

Children:
"Help my children develop a strong self esteem that is deeply rooted in the fact that they are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus."

Myself and Others
"Help me and ___________ develop a strong self esteem that is deeply rooted in the fact they are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus.

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. (Eph 2:10)

I must say, I have some beautiful nieces. Oh my goodness, I really do. (Proud Aunt Becky writing here).

I remember years ago visiting in Memphis with Brent's twin brother, his wife Erin and their children. At this time, Olivia, their second child was very small. Just starting to talk, so maybe two-years-old.

Let me tell you, Olivia is "stop and stare at her" stunning. Her blue eyes tell a story of God's creativity. As blue as the Caribbean sea. I am not exaggerating either.

Erin said to her, "Livi, you are so pretty. What makes you pretty?"

Her small voice, speaking some of her earliest words, "God in my heart."

Yes, Liv. That is exactly was makes you pretty. It is amazing that as beautiful as Olivia is, when God looks at her, he not only sees her beautiful blond hair and big blue eyes, he see His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works. He sees a call on her life. He sees his child, prepared beforehand, that she would walk with Him.

Don't think for one second that God doesn't see the exact same in you. He admires you. He sees your worth. He sees His workmanship in you. His very own image. Your self worth rests in this truth. Your self esteem is found in Him.

Amazing.

31 Days of Prayer: One

Salvation

Children:
"Lord, let salvation spring up within my children, that they may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory."

Others or Myself:
"Let salvation spring up within __________. Let the salvation that is in Christ Jesus be obtained, with eternal glory."

You heavens above, rain down righteousness; let the clouds shower it down. Let the earth open wide, let salvation spring up, let righteousness grow with it; I, the LORD, have created it. Isaiah 45:8





So I am willing to endure anything if it will bring salvation and eternal glory in Christ Jesus to those God has chosen. 2 Timothy 2:10

An Invitation: 31 Prayers For Our Children

This morning my eyes opened and I heard a phrase. The voice within my soul speaking.

The Holy Spirit's unction giving me a Word.

I love it when the LORD does this.

He said, "My house shall be called a house of prayer."

My feet hit the ground and downstairs I go. Coffee brewing, I grab my Bible. I am thinking the Lord is going to take me to the Gospels where Jesus turns tables, reprimands the money changers and gives His "den of thieves" address.

Nope, instead he took me to Isaiah 56:6 & 7:

And the foreigners who join themselves to the LORD to minster to him, to love the name of the LORD, and to be his servants, everyone who keeps the Sabbath and does not profane it, and holds fast my covenant- these I will bring to my holy mountain, and make them joyful in my house of prayer; their burnt offerings and their sacrifices will be accepted on my alter; for my house shall be called a house of prayer for all peoples."

Do you feel like a foreigner sometimes? Has it been a long time since you've done anything "religious" or gone to church? Or maybe you go to church every time the door opens, but your heart is stagnant. Maybe you've hit a valley and your spiritual ear has gone deaf. Or perhaps you have done Christian event after Christian event, but rarely get before the Lord, just you and Him?

Do you know all of that can change this very second? In a flash, the Lord can turn us around. The Gospel can grip the heart in an instant. And change your life.

He can change your circumstance.

Join yourself to the Lord. This word join translates as "adhering oneself to Jehovah." Isn't that a beautiful thought? To be stuck on Jesus. I like.

"My holy mountain" (v.7) is the place of God's presence and his people's worship - a house of prayer for all peoples.

This morning, your heart can be that place - the place of God's presence. Your kitchen table, the car on your morning commute, an early morning jog, your living room floor... all of these are eligible places to be a "house of prayer" because God is with us.

As you read this blog post, He is with you. Say Hello. Honor His presence. Wow.

He wants to bring us to the mountain today. Everyone is eligible. Every Israelite. Every Foreigner. Every Bible teacher. Every alcoholic. Every Sunday school leader. Every thief. Every teenager. Every senior citizen. Every wandering soul....

Come to the holy mountain and be made joyful in the house of prayer.

Love the name of the LORD. Be His servant today. Hold fast to His covenant.

He absolutely adores you.

An Invitation to 31 Days of Prayer
Tomorrow will begin a 31-day-series of prayer. Under "A Quick Fix" at the top of this page is a list of prayers for our children. We will be going through each one for the next month.



If you don't have children, tune in and pray them over yourself. Or your spouse. Or your friends. I plan on wording them so they are reader friendly, not only parent friendly.

Some days I will only post the prayer. Other days I will post more. The Lord has wanted me to do this for a while and this morning He gave clearance.

"A house of prayer." Or in our case...a blog of prayer.

Will you commit to this? Intentionally praying for your children the next 31 days?

I urge you to share this post with a friend. Invite people on Facebook. Share this invitation on your blog. Forward this as an email.

Let us, as God's people, join forces in prayer for the next generation.

See you tomorrow. Can't wait!

A New Discipline Idea

Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul. Proverbs 29:17

If you are anything like me, every so often it is time to revamp the system of discipline in your home. What worked well for my boys two years ago may not be so effective today. Timeouts don't phase Grant and taking trains away lost its luster long ago.

Although the overall house rules of the Crenshaw home have not changed, the consequences/rewards have evolved and changed overtime. If you are just tuning in to A Cup of Joe, take the time to read how we came about our family rules here.

Not long ago, I sat in Brent's grandmother's kitchen as she told me how she (very impressively) raised five children on one system of discipline.

"The Token Board"

I could picture her homemade board as she described a simple piece of wood. Five nails. And several tokens for each child.

Mema's system? If a child disobeyed, they removed a token. If they lost all tokens....a spankin' from Pepaw. As simple as that.

She said she used it for years and it worked well.

And what's good enough for Mema is good enough for me. So off to work I went.

I bought these little boards at A.C.Moore. I think they cost $1.79. It took me all of 10 minutes to get my paint supplies out and give them a few strokes.


I had to nail little metal hangers on the back (not pictured). We had some from old picture frames, but you can buy them at Lowe's or maybe even Wal-Mart.

These are just basic nails. I did spray paint them black, but you don't have to do that. The tokens came from Staples. They are called "Key Tags" for your shopping knowledge.


I bought a paint pen from A.C. Moore. I was going to use a Sharpie, but it just didn't look right. This is when I wish my handwriting had graduated from middle school. But oh well. It looks fine.


I made this one for the Ancelet family! I spelled a name wrong (sorry Aidan!) Had to fix that.

Here's my system:
*Each child starts the week with five tokens.

*Each token is worth 50 cents.

*At the end of the week, they are rewarded for each token kept.

The reason we did it this way is because they are breaking the bank at the swimming pool concessions. This gives them the opportunity to buy their own snacks with their own money. They also have talked of saving it for a new Wii game. The money is theirs to spend how they wish. But you could choose whatever would bless your kiddos the most. Ice Cream on Saturday night. An extra hour of Wii. Etc...

Removing Tokens:
* When a family rule is broken, they remove a token and place it on the spare nail.

*If all five tokens are lost, they receive a spanking from Daddy.

Earning tokens back:
*This is still fuzzy. Last week I would "catch them" doing something above and beyond (taking initiative, helping out without being asked, etc) and I would give them a token. I'm not sure that I will continue this. Still praying about it. It's a lot more to keep up with. I want this to be very simple and straight forward.

I am into my third week of tokens. So far it has worked great. Of course there are always gray areas. Yesterday, Grant's behavior was far beyond the token board. He did receive a spanking. Of course he cried "Can't I just loose a token?!" Umm no. Some things (a.k.a. hitting your brother) are more serious than a token.

I am no expert. And your opinions may vary on all of this. That's OK. I just wanted to share. The Lord has entrusted your children to you. He will direct you on what discipline is best for your children.

This summer, Brent and I are focusing on delighting in our children first. It is so easy to focus on discipline discipline discipline. I can be very hard on my boys. :(

The Lord delights in us. He enjoys us. His motivation for us is LOVE. He disciplines us out of a position of LOVE.

Let us as parents delight in our children. Enjoy them. And, like our Father, discipline out of LOVE.