If You're Uncomfortable In Your Skin...

I heart summer.

Yes, absolutely love it.  Like, if I had a little girl I might have named her "Summer", love it.

Even the sunshine favors this season.  It wants to be a part of the action as long as possible.

Here are five reasons I love summer so...

1.  Popsicles become a food group.

2.  Watermelon.

3.  The smell of sunscreen.

4.  Slow mornings with extra coffee.

5.  Flip flops!

But with summer comes an enormous amount of skin (hence the need for that sunscreen).
For my kiddos, swim suits and bare feet are routine attire.  And for me...bathing suits and
cover-ups.  Tank tops.  Sandals.  Sundresses. And shorts.

Lots. Of. Skin.

Summer sure does make assumptions.  The assumption that we are all OK 
with this much skin exposed.

Summer didn't ask us...It simply assumes we are all comfortable in our own skin.

But we know better.

I can only imagine that the beach and swimming pool arouse many an insecurity in all of us.  

And it doesn't matter what age, weight or body type.

I've never met the woman who walks around in a swimsuit, completely oblivious to the 
fact she is next to naked.

It's all a bit uncomfortable.

We are so very critical of ourselves. (Aren't we girls?)  

And as real as the reflection in the mirror may seem... As believable as the thoughts
in our head may sound....  

There is a bigger reality.  

There is One, who sees you, and all of your skin, and is absolutely enthralled.

The blushing book of Song of Solomon tells the love story of King Solomon, absolutely
taken aback by his bride, a Shulamite woman.  And his affection was not just for her inward 
beauty.  He is amazed at the beauty of her body.    

How beautiful are your feet in sandals, O noble daughter!
Your rounded thighs are like jewels, the work of a master's 
hand. Song of Solomon 7:1

Now, if I was a betting woman, I'd say this sweet bride did not view her rounded
thighs as jewels.  But her man did.  Probably the biggest frustration of 
her body was his favorite.

Go figure  (pun intended).

This book in the Bible, though seemingly out of place, is strategically included.  
It's love story, a picture of the intimacy available to us - not only in marriage, but 
in a relationship with God.

How beautiful and pleasant you are, O loved one, 
with all your delights!  Song of Solomon 7:6

All her delights.  Her curves - a delight to him. 

Our bodies, too, are a delight to the Lord.

God is so enthralled with us that chose us as His Temple, for goodness sakes.  
Yes, OUR bodies.  The body we complain about and ridicule.  The body we stare
at in the mirror and tear apart.  That body.  

God is taken back by your beauty, my dear.  

He wants to take up residence there.  In your beautiful heart.  

You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.  
Song of Solomon 4:7

It doesn't matter...two piece bikini, tankini or a one piece with a skirt.  You Are Beautiful.

It doesn't matter...dark skin, tons of freckles or pale with 85 proof.  You Are Beautiful.

It doesn't matter...pear shape, apple or a butternut squash.  You Are Beautiful.

Today, I dare you to look in the mirror and tell yourself
that You Are Beautiful - there is no flaw in you.  

You are the WORK OF THE MASTER'S HAND.  Your rounded thighs, jewels. {grin}

And men, if you've read this far, go tell your bride....She Is Beautiful, too.  
She is the creative work of the Master's hand.

Lord, thank you for creating us.  Thank you that before our bodies came to shape you saw us.  Unformed.  And even then you were taken with us.  Thank you for every curve.  Every bit of 
skin...even the skin we see as "excessive"...thank you.  Forgive me for ever self hating on your 
handy work. Let us all be thankful and CONFIDENT today...for You see us as stunning.  
And as you said of all of your creation...we are good.  In Jesus Name...AMEN.

(hats off to photographer and friend Jennifer Dalton for this picture 
- jenny1129@gmail.com.  If you're local...her work is amazing.)

Because Fat Is Not A Feeling

Who knew that cutting hydrangeas would teach me so much.

Each snap of the shears is symbolic of the Lord's pruning. A clipping away of my sin so something beautiful can grow in its place.

(If you are just now tuning in, go back and read Mason Jars for Jesus.)

God is revealing areas in my life where I clip from the bottom - giving away my "good" but rarely my "best."

Honestly, one area I give from the bottom is right here. On this blog.

I might expose a glimpse of my heart. A few hardships. But there is more to share. I give with reservation. I expose only what I feel suitable to keep myself in good graces with you (parenting struggles, a marriage squabble, an occasional "ah ha" moment).

Paul says, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. - 2 Corinthians 12:9

Oh, I really really want the power of Christ to rest upon me. Really really. So. I must start first with my weaknesses.

Boast (kauchaomai) to glory on account of a thing

Think about that. We aren't suppose to just brag about our weaknesses. We are to glory in them. That is polar opposite of what the world promotes.

Silence is much more flattering.

But, in true Apostle Paul fashion, I am called to boast...to glory in the fact that I am eaten up with weaknesses.

Eaten up. Did someone say eat? Oh, don't get me started on food. Or body image. Those are areas I'd rather not talk about.

But out of obedience I will. Because they are areas of weakness. And God deserves the Glory.

This morning...I glory in my food & body image weakness.

Right now, I wish I could write in second person. Or write inclusively - "We all" struggle with body image. Or "we all" have food weaknesses. And yes, we may, to some degree, all have these issues. I think many of do.

But writing inclusively would make me a coward.

I have weaknesses in this area. I have for years. Am I healed? Yes.

Has the Lord brought me through it victoriously? Absolutely.

Do I always chose to abide in victory and healing? Not always.

In college, I was queen of the eating disorder. I had mastered the art of quietly throwing my head over a toilet. Even in public restrooms. I was quite skilled in vomiting so that no one knew I was gagging my lunch....dinner....dessert.

I haven't done that in a decade or more. Praise Jesus. I am so thankful.

But here I am, 33-years-old, why am I still not 100% satisfied with what I see in the mirror? Still? Why do I not see myself how the Lord views me? Beautiful? Unflawed? Created in His image?

Question: What's a girl to do?

Answer: Exercise faith.

Fat is not a feeling. Ugly is not a feeling. I know better than to say, "I feel ugly. Or today I feel fat." Feelings are not truth.

This weakness of mine boils down to the ongoing battle of me against my flesh (a.k.a the sinful nature).

Instead of saying, "I feel ugly today" I should really say, "My flesh is crawling with insecurities today."

Somedays are worse than others. Somedays I am just fine.

My mentor once said to me, "Sometimes you have to slap your flesh around and tell it what to do."

Well put. So that is exactly what I have to do. I have to speak to that mirror and tell the girl some truth.



I must tell her what the Lord thinks about her. Tell her how she was knit together in her mother's womb. Destined for good works. Created in the image of the Most High God. Tell her that she is fearfully and wonderfully made. I have to remind her that she a child of a King, redeemed and justified, righteous, sanctified, and a temple of the Holy Spirit. I have to remind her to not look to earthly things but to Jesus, who is seated at the right hand of the Father. Take off her old self, and to put on the new. She has been crucified with Christ and raised up with Him. She is created for good works....

I could go on. Do you see who we are? All of these things are not only true of me. They are true of you, too.

We are His prized possession. The apple of His eye.

His biggest hydrangea.

So when that feeling of fat comes on me...when my flesh wants to drag me down ... I tell it where to go. Literally.

I combat lies with truth.

And the lies fail every time. My flesh dies every time. It's quite fascinating, really.

This is faith. Believing in what I don't see...even if it is in the mirror.

Believing His Word, even if I don't feel it.

The assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1

No matter what I feel, I choose victory. I choose faith. I choose beauty.

Have a wonderful day... beautiful friend.

Finding Yourself Far Beyond Average

{Today, I am so very honored to be guest posting over at Dayspring's blog, (in)courage, Home for the Hearts of Women. I have read (in)courage for a couple of years, so to be a little part of what God is doing through them is amazing. Thank you, Jesus! Enjoy...}

Finding Yourself Far Beyond Average

Confession: Some days, it pains me to look at other blogs.

All of my insecurities rise to the top. And I see my lack in so many areas.

Exactly how does she have 700+ readers? And that picture! She must have a nice camera. And creativity! Wow. My mind doesn’t think poetically. And that template. Beautiful. And she sews?! And cooks!? She’s so organized. And athletic. And pretty. She has an Etsy site, too?!

Sometimes I think, You know, I’m just an average girl, with an average blog, writing about my average life. Maybe I should just hang it up.

Confession: Some days, it pains me to look at others. Period...{click here to continue reading...}

A Bombshell's Battle

Oh, yes I did. This plaque is impulse shopping at its finest. SO precious. I love it because it is my "pray for Joyful Java" reminder as I'm pouring my Joe. That second coffee cup is yours, by the way. ;)

O.K. Let's get started. I'm fired up today.

I have had two conversations over the past couple of days. Two very different women. Two different walks of life. One very similar problem. BODY IMAGE.

Woman one: She is precious. Just precious. A joyful, tender heart for the Lord. Girlfriend is GROUNDED. She's been walking with the Lord for years. Solid family. Awesome husband. She is filled with deep, deep joy. She knows Scripture and gets it. She's just awesome. period. Oh, did I mention she's a bombshell? A blond bombshell. A fitness bombshell. Total hottie. Lord, we all might as well just throw in the towel if she struggles with body image. She is seriously the most fit person I know. So for all purposes today, let's call her 'Bombshell'.

Woman two: College-aged cutie pie about to graduate and move on into the business world. This girl, too, is on fire for Jesus. Seriously, go fetch her some locust and honey. She is wild for Him. She knows scripture. Loves theology. Very passionate for the Lord. And cute, cute, cute. Just darling! Beautiful. Let's name her 'Cutie-Pie'.

SO WHY!? Body image? Really? These two? Well, knowing what we now know about insecurity, we shouldn't be surprised.

I would go so far as to say we ALL struggle, to some degree, with body image. We are all somewhat aware of ourselves - How we carry ourselves. What we look like in (or out) of our clothes. Our complexions. Muscle tone. Cellulite. Wrinkles. Graying hair. Hair loss. Belly fat. etc... Even if body image doesn't consume you, I'd say there is some degree of awareness. Men - you, too!

But here's the difference...for some women, like Bombshell and Cutie Pie, body image can EAT THEIR LUNCH. While for others, its not necessarily a stronghold. When Bombshell and I talked, she said, "You know it doesn't bother me all of the time. But every now and then it rears its ugly head." Well put. So true. She appears to be the most confident person you will ever meet. Confident in the Lord! But you know, the enemy doesn't want us to stay confident long. Confidence is too effective for the Gospel.

Same for Cutie-Pie. She is super involved in her church, super single and a super great catch. The enemy doesn't want her to walk confident in who God made her. The enemy needs her to be a little less secure. If she's insecure, she feels less attractive, therefore, she thinks a Christian guy wouldn't be interested. And the enemy doesn't like Christian marriages. They cramp his style.

Anyway. So I said something along these lines to both women.... "If we could only learn to really take every thought captive and make our thoughts obedient to Christ."

But my favorite question to ask the Lord these days is....What exactly does that mean? Take a thought captive? What? Tie it to a chair? Duck tape? Lasso? I want details.

Let's investigate...

The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:4,5

It's war. Military lingo for a warlike problem.

So, we are to use divine power to destroy our strongholds. This is referring to Ephesians 6:10-18. The Armor of God. I encourage you to read it in full, but in brief, Paul is referring to the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the gospel of peace, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit. Paul says to BE ALERT! Be on watch. The battle will come. Pray this over yourself. When you recognize that "old feelin'" comin' on....PRAY. Gear up. Half the battle is TAKING PREVENTIVE MEASURES.

Remember what Miss Bombshell said about her stronghold of body image "rearing its ugly head." Well, it is true. The meaning of an argument "setting itself up against the knowledge of God" literally means to raise up against. Strongholds literally raise up against God.

Strongholds oppose Truth. The Truth About You.

To take captive means to lead away. To bring it under control. To make those lies submit to the authority of Christ. The authority of His Word. To make them OBEY Him.

Paul says the key in battle is putting on the Armor of God. Being alert. Aware. Here's an example of how to pray this over yourself...

"Lord, I know my struggle is not against flesh and blood. It is not against my body. Or my image. It is against the powers of this dark world. Today, I put on the full armor of God so I'm able to stand my ground WHEN attack comes. I stand firm with the belt of truth around my waist, the breastplate of righteousness (Your righteousness!) and the gospel of peace. I hold up my shield of faith and the sword of the Spirit (Your Word!) to protect my heart and mind from the flaming arrows of the enemy. Help me be alert and to remain prayerful. In Jesus Mighty Name, Amen."

The enemy must submit.

One day, every knee will bow to the authority of the Father.
But for today, may it be our thoughts.

I urge you to, "make war with your sin."
Lasso those lies and lead them away. Captive.

Be Blessed.

Becky

Day Four - What's Eating Your Lunch?

The LORD gives his people strength; the LORD grants his people security. Psalm 29:11 NET

Well, we've made it. It has been such a great week. I am just amazed (but not surprised) at how God has worked this week. Thank you all SO much for emailing me, sending facebook messages and posting comments about what the LORD has shown you. Oh my goodness! I could do a dance in my bathrobe for you right now! I think I will. Hold on.

OK. Today's post comes from a thought I had mid-conversation with a sweet friend last week. We were talking about insecurity and her battle against the ugly thing. I encouraged her to, "just start believing what God says about her." I said it in passing, really. Later, I looked back on our conversation (I am the queen of 'conversation replay') and realized that I passed over the meat and potatoes of what God really needs and wants us to do. Yes, we DO NEED to believe what God says about us.

But would somebody please tell me exactly what he believes about me....so I can believe it, too?! Amen?!

I have to be honest - I don't really know. I can scratch the surface....I know he loves me, died for me, created me, chose me, thinks I'm awesome, etc. But I know His love for me runs deeper. Infinitely deeper.

So this is where I am today....Choosing to believe what God says about me. And I'm determined to KNOW what all He says.

Before we go any further, I want to challenge you. I am asking God to burst through the limitations of my intellect today. I am asking Him to open my eyes to see how deep, how wide, how long and how high is his love.

Let me tell you why I think this is so important....because our carnal minds are limited by our past and current associations with love. We limit ourselves, unintentionally, by lumping God's love for us into the same ball of wax as other earthly relationships. We try and squeeze His love in the same box.

We can't help but have a "love" history - good or bad. That's just life. We did not choose our mom or dad or siblings. Some of us walk deeply wounded by the lack of love from our parents. Or we live with hurt caused by a close friend, brother or sister. Maybe its the loss of love - a spouse, child or parent. Some of us associate love with former relationship gone bad. Rejection and love are somehow intertwined for you. You may currently be in an unhealthy marriage where you feel insecure in your own home. Afraid. Timid. Nervous. Alone.

Whatever your limitations on love are, I am challenging you to pray. Ask the Holy Spirit to erase your boundaries. Ask Him to open your eyes and mind to see, and even more experience, His indescribable love for you. To fathom the unfathomable.

Lord, please do it. We ask you to do a supernatural thing today. Open our eyes. Redefine who we think we are. Help us to see ourselves as you see us. Oh Sweet Lord, heal us. Bind our wounds. Heal our broken hearts. Open, really open, our minds to know your love. And to receive it.

All week we have prayed through what we are choosing to believe in light of insecurity.

We can choose to...

1. Believe what others say (or don't say) about us.

2. Believe what our feelings say about us.

3. Believe what God says about us.

Now, what I'm about to say is going to sound counteractive to everything we've talked about this week. But I'm going to say it anyway.

Insecurity isn't a problem caused by what we choose to believe. (what!) Our problem is not knowing WHAT to believe. And if we know it and don't believe it then we have a disbelief problem. (Geez, we've got problems!)

We need to know what to believe so we can "choose" wisely.

Let me pause to tell you about this precious friend of mind.

I would love for you to meet her.

Before I met her, she really walked a dark road. She was rebellious and a slave to sin. Her heart was heavy, cold and hard. But when she started following Christ, you could see evident change in her life. She was brand new. Set free. Her heart opened up. Today she is beautiful and blessed beyond measure with every gift imaginable. She is confident, lovely, at peace with herself and at peace with everyone around her. She lights up a room! Walks in grace and humility, yet deeply empowered by her knowledge that she is chosen by God. She is a beautiful display of His creativity and beauty. She is his workmanship - created to do good works. She has no worry - she laughs at the days to come because all of her needs are met. She wants for nothing. She is confident in who she is. Bold and complete. She is wise, accepted, righteous, redeemed and forgiven. She is God's favorite daughter. The apple of His eye. His heart beats for her. And her heart for His.

Ahhh. Isn't she lovely?

Well, get acquainted. That is you, my sweet friend. Yes. Re-read. That is just a taste of how God sees you. You are all of these things to Him. And so much more.

If it is significance we are looking for...then look no further. God gives us more that we know what to do with. He will blow your mind with significance.

Now, it is our job to believe it. By faith, by golly...believe it.

So I've created a new link with a SLEW of scripture pertaining to WHO YOU ARE IN CHRIST. It is found at the top of this page under "About You." I anticipate I will be going there often for reference. I pray you will be blessed by these truths. And that's what they are - TRUTHS. God's not out to stroke our egos and make us feel warm and fuzzy. HE IS OUT TO SET US FREE.

Let's choose to believe Him. Not our feelings or what people say (or don't say) about us. BELIEVE GOD. We will never be the same. Our tanks will be infinitely full of his love and adoration. No more stuffing His love into my limited "love" box.

HE DOESN'T FIT!

Christ died for our security. Insecurity is a defeated foe.

Hallelujah!

Be blessed.

Becky

Day Three - What's Eating Your Lunch?

So how are we doing out there? I am SUPER encouraged to hear feedback about what the Lord is doing in some joyful java hearts. I am so thankful. God is really up to something here. Praise Him.

Now onto "Feelings" - Here we go.

If you are just joining us, I encourage you to go back and read through Day One and Day Two of "What's Eating Your Lunch?" To recap, there are three choices we need to make in regards to insecurity:

We can choose.....

1. To believe what others say (or don't say) about us.

2. To believe what our "feelings" say about us.

3. To believe what God says about us.

Today we are talking about #2 - choosing to believe what our feelings say about us.

I wish we were together. We would sit across the table, get a sheet of paper and draw a line down the center. At the top of one column I would write "Ruled by our Feelings" on the other I would write "Ruled by the Spirit". (I even encourage you to do that) That is what we are doing today. Differentiating between these two. I pray the Lord will open your eyes to recognize the difference.

One of these two things will rule us. The Holy Spirit or the Flesh/Our Feelings. There is no gray area here. We are ruled by one or the other.

What exactly does that mean? Let's dig.

Oh. This is too good to miss.

Galatians 6:22-25 says, "The Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. If we live by the Spirit let us keep in step with the Spirit."

Write this list on the "Ruled by the Spirit" side. If we are walking in the power of the Holy Spirit, this is what will show - love, joy, peace etc... I love and want them all.

If we are not walking in the Spirit, but walking in our own Flesh/Feelings - here's what will show....

"The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery (indulgence in sensuality), idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissension (quarrelling), faction (contentiousness) and envy; drunkenness, orgies and the like." Galatians 6:19-21

How's that for straight forward? Write those in the "Ruled by Feelings" column. Now, I don't expect that many of you are struggling with witchcraft or orgies, but the rest of the list is very applicable. :)

Sweet the Lord. It is as if He gives us a "red flag" system. If we are walking in Holy Spirit, experiencing and living out peace, patience, goodness, gentleness, etc but suddenly get angry with our spouse and lash out in a fit of anger, a red flag flies, as if to say, "Hey, get in step with the Spirit. You've crossed columns."

I teach a similar concept to my kids. For example, my little Ethan gets into trouble at school for using potty words. At the lunch table of all places. One of his favorite friends likes to use them, too. Get them together - trouble. :) Ethan can be truckin' along, obeying the teacher, wearing listening ears, then BAM - temptation! So here's an excerpt from a "driving to school" conversation...."Ethan, today you need to use self control when around your friend. No potty words. Yes, ma'am? If he starts to use them, ask God to help you have self control. Even if you want to say them -Do do it. Use self control. God will help you, buddy."

Same for me. I can have my quiet time, be so full of joy, so filled with the Spirit, then down come the boys. Within seconds I can lash out - "Quiet down! No fighting! Stop jumping off of the couch!" The flesh is quick.

So how does this apply to insecurity? Oh, in so many ways.

Look at the fruits of the flesh/sinful nature. Which words come to mind in light of insecurity? Idolatry? Envy? Selfish ambition? Hatred? Jealousy?

Do you see?

Insecurity is, in part, rooted in our natural tendency to be ruled by the flesh.

Prime example - Adam and Eve. Before the fall, they walked around Butt Naked. Confident. Unashamed. But, as soon as they took a bite of that fruit - Insecurity. Self awareness. Shame. It was the first thing they did! The first emotion they felt. They were insecure in who God made them. They scurried around looking for fig leaves to cover themselves. To cover their nakedness. Trying to create a sense of security. THEY FELT INSECURE BECAUSE THEY CROSSED COLUMNS! They were no longer walking in the Spirit of God. They were not believing God's perfect plan for them. They were led by their feelings to eat the fruit. Wow.

It is practically impossible to hate on yourself if you are being ruled by the Spirit. My friend, if you are walking in the power of the Holy Spirit, His fruit is in OPPOSITION to INSECURITY. Read that again and again until it sinks. IT IS LIFE CHANGING.

THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT OPPOSES THE DESIRES OF THE SINFUL NATURE. period.

Peace opposes discord.
Love opposes hatred and jealousy.
Patience opposes fits of rage.
Goodness opposes impurity.
And on and on...

If you are choosing to believe how you feel, then you need to check your feelings up against the desires of the sinful nature. Are you feeling jealous? Are you idolizing other people's lives? The way they look? Do you feel lesser than them? Do you struggle with envy? Go down the list. If you say yes, then you are being led by your feelings verses the Holy Spirit.

So if Insecurity is an overflow of these feelings - jealousy, hatred, envy, etc. Then let's call Insecurity what it really is....

Insecurity is SIN.

It is a gratification of the flesh. Insecurity is a pretty word for idolatry. Idolizing self. Preoccupation with self. Self consumption. Even if we are down on ourselves, we are still too preoccupied with ourselves. Ouch.

OK, so I've said it. Insecurity, ultimately is sin. Here's why...

Galatians 5:16,17 says to live by the Spirit....for the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other.

Also, look down at Galatians 5:26...Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

There it is. The Word says it. LIVE BY THE SPIRIT. It is a command.

So here's how we will end today. If insecurity is sin, then what do we do now? We repent.

I want to suggest that one reason we have struggled so long with insecurity is because we haven't recognized it for what it is. We can not experience freedom from sin until we recognize it, repent and turn our backs on it. Get mad about it. As John Piper says, "Make War With Your SIN."

Insecurity is bondage. The Spirit of the Lord is freedom.

I encourage you to sit at his feet. Rattle off your insecurities to Him. Name them. Confess them. And ask Him to forgive.

He will.

Day Four we move forward. Believing what God says about us.

I can not wait. It's big.

Freedom is yours.

Be blessed. (and come back - at least one more time)

Day Two - What's eating your lunch?

I'm so glad you are back. So glad. Let's get to it.

If you are just now tuning in, I encourage you to go back and read "What's eating your lunch?" from Saturday's blog. Insecurity. That's the topic. Bottom line, I'm just sick and tired of watching people, especially Christians, wallow in defeat with the thing. Myself included.

In regards to overcoming insecurity we have three choices:

1. To believe what others say (or don't say) about us.

2. To believe what our "feelings" say about us.

3. To believe what God says about us.

Today we are going to tackle #1. The choice to believe what others say (or don't say) about us.

Have you been thinking about where your insecurities fall? Is it...Appearance? Approval? Academics? Parenting? In-laws? Social networking? Spouse? Image? God? Relationships? Your job? All of the above? :)

Well whatever they are, I'm going to go so far as to say that, in one way or another, believing what others say about you has shaped your current view. Even more, I bet what others haven't said about you shape your view, as well. Let me explain.

Example - I am blind as a bat. I am too cheap to buy contacts so I wear my glasses most all of the time, but I don't like wearing them in public. I'm insecure because I don't think I look very good in glasses. However, no one has said, "Hey Becky. You look ridiculous in those glasses. You look much better without them. Don't you have contacts?" Who would say that? But I am insecure in part because of how I feel about myself in glasses and the idea that others think my glasses are unattractive. Silly.

Let's go deeper.

I wish you could meet my sister-in-law, Erin. Oh my gosh, I think she hung the moon. The wife moon. The mommie moon. The friend moon. Her heart must be made of pure gold. She has a gift of empathy like no one I have ever met. She loves deeply and grieves over other people's pain. Cries over their struggles. Her heart beats for Jesus. She exudes Him. This woman is an inspiration. She is one of my very best friends and I am honored to call her "family".

Here's my problem. I often struggle to celebrate her without involving myself. Instead of just celebrating her strengths and gifts and giving all praise to the Lord for her, I turn the mirror on myself and see all of my imperfections. They seem bigger in light of her. The enemy really gets a foothold here and he slings me around for a while.

..."You are not very empathetic, Becky." whack

..."You are not patient enough with your kids." whack

..."You're relationship with God is so weak, Becky. Look how Erin loves the Lord." whack

..."Poor Brent. His parents must feel so sorry for him. He really got the short end of the stick." whack

Satan has his way with me. Chews me up. And spits me out.

Finally, one year at the beach, I broke down and told Erin how I struggled. I told her it was so hard being her sister-in-law because she is so ridiculously awesome. I always felt like I fell short. Let me tell you, this was a very big step for me. Heaven forbid anyone think I wasn't confident or didn't have my stuff together. But you know what....

FREEDOM.

It was such an amazing confession/conversation. Healing came. To us both. After sorting through a lot of emotion and tears, we came to the conclusion that the issue was in part due to the "idea" that our in-laws were sizing us up. Not true. At. All. Our in-laws are the sweetest people on earth. They would never do that. But we were believing what they weren't even saying. Gracious.

Ultimately, the root of my problem wasn't with my in-laws or with Erin. My insecurity was rooted in my disbelief that God has sovereignly placed me with Brent. That God has appointed me to raise these three boys. That God has placed me in the Crenshaw family and I am deeply loved and accepted by these people. That God is doing a great work in me. In my marriage. In the lives of my children. Even in spite of me. Oh hallelujah. I realized that it's not just insecurity I am dealing with -- it's a lack of faith.

So, believing what people say (or don't say) about us can get us stuck in a web of insecurity.

What if, JUST WHAT IF, we believed the best about people?

What if we stopped assuming people are analyzing us to death?

Honestly, if people are being so critical of you, then what the heck kind of people are you hanging around?
Just asking.

If you are struggling with how you think people think about you (what?) then why don't you pray about talking to them about it?

What if we just all came clean? How different would we be?

What if we took off all of our masks and let the world see us? What if we swallowed our pride and went to our boss, our husband, our best friend, our co-workers, our family members and said, "Hey this is going to seem out of no where, but I am really struggling with _______. I think you are awesome and I want a deeper relationship with you, but I can't there because of these thoughts I keep having."

Wow.

What if we die to ourselves? Die to our pride. Die to our image. Just get over ourselves?

Maybe a conversation is not the answer. Maybe this is just between you and the Lord. A work he is doing in you that involves no one else. I don't know. But He does.

Here's what I do know. I know that you are the apple of His eye. I do know that you are accepted by Him. Chosen by Him. Holy. Beloved. That He has put a heart of compassion in you. Kindness and humility. Gentleness. Patience. (1 Thessaloinians 1:4, Colossians 3:12.)

What if we walked in that?

I have opened up the comment line for all -- not just bloggers. I didn't realize I had my setting as so. I would LOVE to hear feedback and learn what the Lord is showing you --Thoughts. Prayers. Struggles. I'd love to be praying for you.

Be blessed. And come back.

What is eating your lunch?

Insecurity is eating our lunch.

Every single day. We are all, to some degree, walking around feeling unsure of ourselves. Inadequate. Low self-esteem. Poor self worth. Depressed. Deeply wounded.

I have had several conversations lately about the topic, so I thought I'd address.

The answer to the dilemma is - there is no simple answer. It is a process. A process to sort through the root of our issues, address them and then figure out what in the world to do with it all. It takes a willingness to be vulnerable. A willingness to admit we are insecure and a desire to change. Bottom line - we all just need to get really mad about the epidemic of insecurity. It is plaguing our culture.

So, why? How in the heck have we gotten to this point? Well, once again...no simple answer. On the surface, I would say it is in great part due to the fact we live in a culture driven by materialism. Assets. Accessories. Money. Possessions. Rank. Fame. Media.

Then throw in facebook and twitter, why don't we?! A playground for inadequacy. A place where people only post their very best. I myself have yet to post, "Becky Rhodes Crenshaw is so frustrated with her husband she could scream." or "...just yelled like an idiot at her four-year-old" or "...is feeling worthless, ugly and low. I have a puss-filled zit on my chin and a small touch of constipation. Don't get me started on cellulite."

I have yet to read someone post, "..My teenage daughter might be pregnant and I blame myself." or "...I think my husband is having an affair." or "...I am struggling with prescription drug abuse." Nope.

No one is writing that.

In Becky Crenshaw, b.c. days (that's "before Christ" - ha ha.) I was the poster child for an eating disorder/over exerciser. ALL of my identity was found in my appearance, my weight, my fitness level, and how people viewed me. I was a mess. A thin, wiry, Chirstless mess. I was my own god. Exercise was my god. Food was my god -or the lack, thereof. This was my first real face to face encounter with insecurity. I had to make a choice - to get help or to stay sick. I chose to get help. Without Christ, this was very difficult. I went to counseling, ready to talk about my issues with food and exercise. But all that darn counselor wanted to talk about was....My family. My relationships. My background. I was so peeved. It took me a while to figure out that he was on to me. He knew my issue wasn't with food. It was about the journey that brought me to that chair. To my problem. Does that make sense?

So it is with our current insecurities. How have we gotten here? What is it that is "eating our lunch"? What is lying underneath our issues? Our inadequacies? Our fears? Well, it will be different for us all.

There are three choices we have to make here. Are you ready? Here we go.

We must to choose to...
1. Believe what others say (or don't say) about us.
2. Believe what our "feelings" say about us.
3. Believe what God says about us.

So over the next week, we are going to work through, pray through, and seek the Lord through these three choices. Stay tuned.

In the meanwhile, I challenge you to start the journey of asking God to reveal your insecurities. Not necessarily fun, I know. But so good. Write them down. Journal. Pray.

You can not address what you don't address.

Search me, O God and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139:23,24

Here is one thing I know - healing is coming. He is the God who heals us. Jehovah-Rapha. He is so faithful.

Be blessed. (and come back)