Modern Wargame General

I am the very model of a modern wargame General

I've information historical, martial, and statistical

I know the kings of England, and I quote battles metaphorical

From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical

I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical

I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical

About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news

With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse

With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse

With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse

With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotepotenuse

I'm very good at integral and differential calculus

I know the scientific names of beings only fabulous

In short, in matters historical, martial, and statistical

I am the very model of a modern wargame General

In short, in matters historical, martial, and statistical

He is the very model of a modern wargame General

I know all mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's

I answer all rule queries, I've a pretty taste for paradox

I know the rulebooks inside out from 40K to Hordes of Things

I’ve nicely painted armies from obscure nations like the Sinhalese

I can tell my pikes from throwing spears and muskets from the arquebus

I can describe the Parthian campaign of Publius Ventidius Bassius

I know my colour theory including shades thought hypothetical

I can paint the tiniest model from ten mill to infinitesimal

And paint the tiniest model from ten mill to infinitesimal

And paint the tiniest model from ten mill to infinitesimal

And paint the tiniest model from ten mill to infinitesimal

I can re-write Warhammer rules in Babylonic cuneiform

And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform

In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral

I am the very model of a modern wargame General

In short, in matters historical, martial, and statistical

He is the very model of a modern wargame General

In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin"

When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin

When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at

And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat"

When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery

When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery

In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy

You'll say a better wargame General never charged his cavalry

You'll say a better wargame General never charged his cavalry

You'll say a better wargame General never charged his cavalry

You'll say a better wargame General had never charged his cavalry

For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury

Has only been brought down to the beginning of last century

But still, in matters historical, martial, and statistical

I am the very model of a modern Major-General

But still, in matters historical, martial, and statistical

He is the very model of a modern wargame General

Sorry to lose you but...

I have been ebaying a tranche of my old models recently. Only a few more to go now. One must be ruthless or there is no room for more.

London Calling

A Happy New Year from London:

http://bit.ly/fmJeq7

Click on the above video.

Alchemy

The mem'sahib has been going through the family financil accounts for the new year and has announced that I am an alchemist.

Apparently, I have a near-miraculous ability to turn gold into lead.


[picture borrowed from: http://www.levity.com/alchemy/teniers1.html]

Happy Xmas

A very happy Xmas from the staff at John's Toy Soldiers (me and the rabbit).

Ghost of Pigeons Past

I have a large south-facing, double glazed, lounge window that obviously looks like sky to birds. The other day I came down to find this. As there was no body, the bird-brain obviously got away with it.

The Alternative Wargamer

This has been knocking around the web for a while and it is appears to be in the public domain. I think it refers to the fashion, a few years ago, for getting modern authors to write sequels to historic novels - sometimes the choice of new author was, shall we say, controversial. Anyway here Sven Hassel, author of Legion of the Damned and Wheels of Terror, writes the sequel to Peter Rabbit.

Enjoy.

David Drake is on Holiday

Enjoying cool showery English summer weather.

Twelve Months

I have been monitoring the use of this site by Google Analytics for about a year now. In that time, 35,000 uniqe 'users' have visited the site and looked at 140,000 pages.

Around half these 'people' are one-off visitors so there are perhaps 15,000 repeat visitors.

Thank you all for your interest.

John Lambshead

Test for extreme geekiness

Further comment from me would be superfluous.

New Government's Cuts Start to Bite

British Police Force denies that government financial cutbacks will have an influence on police activities.

People Counter

I have run Google Analytics on this blog for about ten months. I just checked it to find that 29,997 unique visiters have been to the site.

Major Fire in Medway Valley

There has been a major fire at Homebase DIY in the Aylsford Retail Park.

You could see the smoke all across the Medway region from East Malling to Rainham.

The fire started at 12.45 today in the timber section. It is believed to be arson and rumours are circulating of other attempts made in nearby shops.

I was only in this shop yesterday looking for a carpet cleaner.

Fortunately, Homebase's evacuation procedures were highly efficient and there were no casualties but it took ten fire engines to control the blaze.

I was on my way to Royal Tunbridge Wells from Medway along the A288. When we realised how big was the fire we diverted along the M20. Found out later that the roads around the retail park were closed. The smoke plume was massive and toxic particles are coming down all over the Medway Valley.

Video here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blhBqmqpmfU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3iTSAdyzUo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3BBPjzwkqM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZomGmpWyBA

St George's Day

Today is St George's Day, the patron saint of England.

A good day to paint knights, and dragons.

Unsung Heroes - The Driving Instructor

"I don't think you are quite ready for your driving test yet Miss Jaksa."


PS - It was the poor lady's second lesson.

Resin Models

I bought this little (3.5 inches long) resin model recently for £4 plus P&P. The detail is good BUT have a look at the 'flash' on the tail. Those fins are thin and great care will be needed, and a little luck, to separate the wheat from the chaff, so to speak, without damaging the model. Resin is notoriously brittle.

I am not picking on this manufacturer. The flash on Forge World models is appalling and I have paid over £100 for a Forge World model to find parts warped beyond any hope of recovery.

I contrast this with Jez's models at Old Crow. His kits come with all the flash removed and components sanded smooth, so that the bits fit straight out of the box. Warped or 'bubbled' parts are detected and dumped at the quality control process. Contrast this with the holes in the wings on the model above.

As I said, I am not picking on this manufacturer, which is why I have not named them. This level of quality is endemic across the hobby and I don't think that it is good enough.

My Game Designs

I am still having a mass clearout in preperation for a move to a smaller house. I have come across my various commercially published game designs over the years. In the last few years, i have been mostly into miniature games.




Back in the early 80s, I was a PhD student (mathematical ecology). My first child was born and my wife had to give up her job in Central London to look after her (we commuted in from the north Kent coast). Desperate for money, I got in to designing computer games. The best selling was the Fourth Protocol, the world's first icon-driven computer game.



I started out by designing board wargames. Not much money in it and the boardgame market collapsed in the early 80s.

Politics of Fear

The British Government has started arresting people on the street for taking photographs under their all pervading 'terrorism programme'. Photographing in public is completely legal but photographers are still being harassed.

We recently had a mass photography session in Trafalgar Square. I couldn't make that so I took my freedom in my hands and photgraphed Mick's Plaice, a fish and chip shop in Chatham High Street.

Recently, Labour's stasi arrested a photgrapher under the terrorism act for photgraphing this very chip shop. Osama bin Laden sits in his office in the Pakastani Intelligence building plotting to blow up a Chatham fish and chip shop? That'll bring the western world to its knees.

Actually it's a moot point whether Al Quada terrorists would make it alive up Chatham High Street. This is the city that gave the word chav to modern popular culture.

Statistics

It has been six months since I started recording data on visitors to this blog using Google Analytics.

In that time it has had 19, 821 separate visitors who have made 78,453 page visits.

I am stunned.

Thank you all very much,

John

Games Workshop Profit Upgrade

Apparently the sun is rising on our favourite wargame empire.
Last Friday the Times ran an article in their business section about GW:

http://business.timesonline.co.uk/tol/business/markets/article6978494.ece

(scroll down page)

The article reported that GW's stockbreaker, KBC Peel Hunt, have announced that pretax profits for 2009/10 are likely to be £14m rather than the previously estimated £9m - prompting a 30% jump in share price.

The interesting thing is the Times analysis of how this impressive profit has been achieved. Sales are not up, if anything revenue is somewhat down. The profits have been generated by cost cutting. The Times mentions two examples: smaller one man stores and more efficient plastic model production.

There have been other cost cutting measures that I can think of. For example the sale of Soaris and the concomitant cut in staff costs. There were also redundancies in 2008.

The smaller shop model confuses me. I can see how additional small stores exploiting the primary 'hobby centres' could work but surely this strategy could not be pursued very far without a major change in the business model of children's hobby centres?