A long long time ago
When the proposed date still felt so far away
A conversation happened
James: I know we don't know each other well but you run, so would you like to do a relay race with me in a few months?
Eli: [Distracted because there was some cheesecake at home he was trying to get to] Huh? Yeah, whatever.
James: Really? Don't you want details?
Eli: Fine. It's all fine.
James: Ok, but it's in another state.
Time passed
Months went by
Eli and James hardly saw one another
Then they did
James: It's actually called an "ultra" Ragnar.
Eli: What are the words coming out of your mouth?
James: The relay race. It's an ultra Ragnar.
Eli: I don't understand why you're talking at me right now.
James: A few months ago you agreed to do a relay race with me.
Eli: That doesn't sound like something I would do.
James: Well you did.
Eli: How long is it?
James: That's what I'm trying to explain to you. The race is an ultra Ragnar in Vegas, so each person will be running 30 to 40 miles.
Eli: GO TO HELL!
A few weeks went by
Group Facebook messages formed between Eli and five people he hardly knows
Group messages: OMG! WE ARE SO EXCITED TO RUN!
Eli: Please remove me from your mailing list. Thank you.
Group messages: We rented a van and we're all going to sit in it for about 30 hours, taking turns running ten or so miles at a time!
Eli: I will pursue a restraining order if this harassment doesn't cease immediately.
Group messages: Don't forget to bring four changes of clothes for all of the times you'll be running, mostly in the middle of the night!
Eli: If I can show that I'm a minority, can I consider this a hate crime?
Group messages: Try not to eat any foods that cause diarrhea because we'll all be stuck in a van together for more than a day!
We leave on Thursday.
~It Just Gets Stranger
My friend Rose is running that race! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI ran an ultra relay this summer!! You are going to love and hate it all at the same time! But if I did it you can do it because I am not a hard core runner. I was also peer pressured into it. And you have to watch this, it's hilarious! Do you want to run a relay race: http://youtu.be/EL1hLU_LBvs
ReplyDeletethat video is amazing :-)
DeleteOh. Dear. Cows.
ReplyDeleteo.O
Godspeed.
Haha! Sounds like how I get my friends and family to do races with me--as little information as possible until it's too late for them to back out! :)
ReplyDeleteI've done an ultra Ragnar. It's super fun, and super torturous at the same time. Basically it's a blast!
ReplyDeleteIsn't there a law against cruel and unusual punishment? I'm pretty sure this race is against the law or something.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds so evil that only the QOC could have put him up to it.
ReplyDeleteI am so confused by your life.
ReplyDeleteI'll second that! Confusing, but in a weirdly enjoyable twice-up-the-barrel-once-down-the-side sort of way. :p
DeleteI ran a Ragnar relay a few years ago while 13 weeks pregnant...I was the only woman in our van and due to the smells coming out of the men it was not that enjoyable...and no one changed their clothes...
ReplyDeleteWhy does the Ragnar exist? I mean, really? Why?
ReplyDeleteSo people can brag about it. BRAGnar.
DeleteHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh the happenings you find yourself in, Eli. Have a happy Thursday!
ReplyDeleteRelays are so much fun! I ran Hood to Coast a couple years ago (my first relay) and had just the best time with a bunch of people I barely knew. HTC isn't an ULTRA relay, but I would imagine the experience would be the same. I hope you have a great time and I can't wait to read about it. I'm guessing there will be some accidental nakedness, since you will be stuck in a van with strangers for 30 hours...
ReplyDelete