Snuggie Texts

Perhaps because I've been in a particularly snarky mood lately, I couldn't resist last night when I got an accidental text from an unknown number. The following is our text exchange over the next 24 hours in its entirety. [For follow up, see Snuggie Texts Part II]. Please LIKE us on Facebook or FOLLOW Stranger on Twitter. Enjoy:

Unknown:
Hey Amanda! This is Jane. I was thinking for Beth's wedding gift we could go halfsies on one of those blocks of wood that says words like faith and hope that they could put on a mantle or hang on the wall. What do you think?

Eli:
Hmmm . . . I saw couples snuggies at K-Mart the other day on sale for 9.99 and I think this is probably more of what she's looking for. It's more practical.

Unknown:
Lol! That's what I got them for their birthdays! But seriously, what do you think about the wood block idea?

Eli:
Ok . . . I know for a fact you didn't get them snuggies for their birthdays because I talked to Beth recently and asked her which kind she would want if she got one as a wedding gift and she didn't say anything about already having one . . .

Unknown:
Oh Amanda, I was just joking. Sorry. :( Tell me more about your snuggie idea?

Eli:
I'm confused . . . what was the joke?

Unknown:
Oh, a lot of people joke about snuggies. But I know a lot of people like them and I just thought maybe you were joking. I don't know you very well, obviously, so I don't know your sense of humor.

Eli:
Well obviously I don't think we should get them leopard print. I was thinking the classy kitten snuggies with their names embroidered onto them and a phrase like "1+1=furrrever."

Unknown:
1+1=furrever? Do you mean 2+2?

Eli:
2? Are they each 2 people? Why would it be 2+2?

Unknown:
1+1 equals 2, not 4. So the number "furrrever" doesn't really make sense with 1+1. Also, I don't think Beth likes cat stuff . . .

Eli:
Furrrever isn't a number . . . And Beth doesn't like cats but I'm pretty sure she likes cat stuff. I get her t-shirts with kittens on them for every birthday and she always says she loves them and that she wears them on vacations and stuff.

Unknown:
I bet she likes them just fine. I guess I just assumed she didn't like cat stuff since she doesn't like cats . . . But maybe she would like them. Or we could think of other options . . .

Eli:
I can tell you don't like the snuggie idea so let's just bag it.

Unknown:
I'm willing to consider it of course! But, are you at all interested in my block word idea? We could get those really cute ones that are painted different colors and just have a whole bunch they could put around their house.

Eli:
Here, let me text you a picture of my snuggie so you can get a better idea.

Eli:

Unknown: (2 hours later)
Honestly Amanda, I'm not crazy about the snuggie idea. If you want to do that, that's cool but I'll probably just do my own thing. Is that ok?

Eli:
Is it because of the picture? Obviously the Venetian mask and tea kettle wouldn't be part of the gift. I was just trying to show a few different uses. I can send other pictures if you want to see more.

Unknown:
No, that's ok. I think it looks really comfie. So you don't like the block words idea?

Eli:
You can go to football games in them, do grocery shopping, wear them around when all of your clothes are wet, read books, etc.

Unknown:
Yeah, they seem really cool. But she probably wouldn't do that kind of stuff in one . . .

Eli:
Well obviously she would have to tie it in the back so it wouldn't fall off. Especially if she didn't wear any clothes under it.

Unknown:
Alright. So you aren't interested in my block word idea?

Eli:
It's not that I don't like it. It's just that, when I was a kid my grandma used to always give me books for Christmas and I was always like, "thanks grandma. Now I have to read to enjoy your gift." You get me? Plus who has time for that?

Unknown:
But you understand the blocks are just one word. Like it would just be a block that says "Faith" or something.

Eli:
Oooooohhhhhh.  So like a whole bunch of them that you move around to make funny sentences like word magnets on fridges that say stuff like, "I don't want no bunny banana frog ok no way!"

Unknown:
? No. Like, it's just the one word and you put it on a shelf or something.

Eli:
So we would have to get them a shelf too?

Unknown:
No . . . Ok, so you're not crazy about my idea. Do you have any others, other than the snuggie idea?

Eli:
What about garden gnomes?

Unknown:
Well they don't have a yard . . .

Eli:
Oh. What about a couple of chickens! Ok, hear me out on this. When I was a kid my parents had a chicken coop and we called one of the chickens the Queen of Colors because she was really colorful but one day her legs got stuck in my sister's hair so they had to cut the chicken out.

Unknown:
I don't think they would appreciate live animals.

Eli:
You're missing the point! The Queen of Colors got stuck in her hair! You have no idea what that put her through. Everyone called her "chicken head" until she lost her eye in a rubber band fight with her sponsor and they all started calling her "one-eyed-Wendy." But she's so much stronger for it.

Unknown:
I'll just do my own thing and you can do whatever you want. Ok?

Eli: 

Unknown: (Many hours later)
Who is this?

Eli:
Eli.

Unknown:
And why did you keep texting me when you knew I had the wrong number?

Eli:

~It Just Gets Stranger

CLICK HERE FOR PART II