Over the lovely Valentine's Day dinner Kristin prepared for us, we had a conversation about how expensive fish has become. Kristin told us the least expensive fish sold at the store where she works is something called swai. I'd never heard of it and asked what it was. She answered it was a sort of Southeast Asian catfish. "What about Louisiana catfish? Or other American catfish?" I asked.
Kristin answered hardly anything comes from the United States anymore--except for lump crabcakes, which are from Maryland. Crabs are from Canada. Shrimp and other fishes are from Asia and Southeast Asia. Even crawfish (which I associate with Louisiana) are from Spain at her store.
I recollected lately about buying leg of lamb and tenderloin beef roast on sale. They were from Australia.
So what is going on? Where do the American fishermen and farmers sell their products? Overseas?
Even our produce is from everywhere else. Fruits and vegetables come from South America.
Maybe it's a seasonal thing? It just seems wrong that we don't have more American products available in the meat, seafood, and produce sections of grocery stores. I asked Kristin if people complain about it and she said yes--they worry about the quality of the water and what might go into it. TB said he'd worry about the same thing.
I finally finished reading The Hour I First Believed by Wally Lamb. I started out loving it but by the end of the book, I was freely skipping sections and grimly plowing ahead to the end. It's a shame because the book had a good premise.
Caelum and Maureen Quirk are a teacher and school nurse respectively. They move from Connecticut to Colorado to try and save a damaged marriage. They both get jobs at Columbine High School. Yes. That Columbine. On that fateful April day in 1999, Maureen is hiding from the gunmen in the library while Caelum is back in Connecticut for the funeral of his aunt.
The first half of the book centers on Maureen's struggles to cope with the after effects of Columbine. Caelum, not the most sensitive soul in the world, struggles to deal with Maureen's manifestation of PTSD. They decide it would be better to leave Colorado, leave the memories behind (hopefully) and go home to Caelum's family farm.
Tragedy follows.
In more way than one--I think the book was a victim of the move too. I thought the story was going to be about Maureen's struggle and recovery from PTSD and that Caelum would grow as part of the experience into a loving, supportive husband. Well, that didn't happen.
The focus went off Maureen and onto Caelum and his dysfunctional family. It should have been its own story, like a sequel or something. Part of the problem I had with this is that I didn't like Caelum. I found him to be angry, cold and withdrawn. He was mean to people he had no business being mean to. I couldn't get away from Caelum. He was the narrator. I was willing to put up with him when the focus was on Maureen. In the second half of the book though ...
What made it worse for me was all the paperwork from and about Caelum's family. I was bored to death reading some of the letters and diary entries so I ended up skipping great chunks of it. I didn't feel I lost anything by it because Caelum usually summed it up one way or another anyway.
I really liked Wally Lamb's other books so this was a big disappointment!
And in the what else is new? department, I totally forgot about Cats on Tuesday and Kosmo has been letting me know about it since!
I had to take Kristin to the doctor for an infected gland. She's being treated with an antibiotic now that will hopefully take care of it. If not, we have to see a specialist. :P
And today I needed a shot in my left hip. I thought I was having a return of SI joint dysfunction but the doctor said it was actually bursitis. Better that, I think, than the other. The last time I had it was in 2009 and I was incapacitated a month! Anyway, the doctor gave me a shot and said I should start feeling some relieve tomorrow. I hope so!
Showing posts with label About Me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label About Me. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 15
Thursday, December 8
Thirteen Ways to Happiness & Wishin' and Hopin' by Wally Lamb
I was going to write about this study I read about the other day. Children that grow up in homes with violence end up with the same types of brain responses as soldiers in a war environment. I remember my therapist told me about that and I sort of believed it but was also skeptical. How could I compare what happened to me to that of a soldier in combat? Well...there it was, all true. The thing is, I also didn't want to write about it. It depressed me.
I liked this article much better and it fit in nicely with the Thursday Thirteen theme. See, I waver between feeling up and positive to feeling depressed and negative. It's a battle to stay upbeat but I find if I can do it a couple of days in a row, I can get a momentum going and keep at least an even keel for a while.
The article talks about what happy people do differently to stay happy. There was a list of 12 things and then I added one:
Thirteen Ways to Happiness
1. "Express Gratitude". Even if the only thing you can say is you have a roof over your head and food in your belly, this helps. I think about the things I do have when times are rough--like now, with the spending Christmas season. Things could be a lot worse.
2. "Cultivate Optimism". This is something my therapist was trying out with me. It involves saying things like, things aren't going so well but they can get better.
Or they will get better.
3. "Avoid over-thinking and social comparison". In other words, instead of worrying about the Joneses' just focus on yourself. So I'll just not concern myself with all the lights and decorations everyone else seems to have.
4. "Practice acts of kindness." This is a good one. I've done lots of these and it really is true--it gets that feel-good serotonin flowing.
5. "Nurture social relationships." This is a little harder for me to practice except on the internet. I never did make any friendships here in NJ mostly because it just seems like I have to say good bye to people I've made close friends with in the two states I lived in before, MD and NY. I try to attend to my internet friendships though. I've found some of my closest friends online.
6. "Develop strategies for coping". Ah, well, this is a skill I learned as a child when there were all sorts of crisis and chaos going on around me. I would come up with a Plan A, B, C, D, and E. If one failed, I'd turn to another.
7. "Learn to forgive". That's come with age. It's not something I could do when I was younger and filled with righteous anger. Over the years, the anger's tempered and I've learned a lot about how people behave and think.
8. "Increase flow experiences". Well, that's something I need to work on. I can get into the flow when I'm writing but haven't been able to focus recently. If I developed a hobby I enjoyed I could get into the flow too.
9. "Savor life's joys". Ah, yes, like spending the day with Little T or watching a snowstorm from the safety of my home or the sun coming up over the ocean.
10. "Commit to your goals". This is another one I need to work on. I feel adrift because I don't really have any goals other than getting through each and every day.
11. "Practice Spirituality". We do that, praying several times a day.
12. "Take Care of Your Body." I could improve in this area. I could exercise more regularly and watch what I eat. I could make sure I get to doctors for regular check-ups and preventative tests like mammograms and stuff.
13. Keep your sense of humor. This my own addition. I think if I didn't have a sense of humor (albeit a dark one sometimes) I would have lost my mind already. When I laugh, I feel those feel-good endorphins flowing around.
Last night, I finished reading a book called Wishin and Hopin by Wally Lamb, one of my favorite authors. The book was funny and sweet, focusing on 10 year old Felix Funicello, his family, friends, and school teachers. I saw it marketed in the book club as a Christmas book. I wouldn't have called it that although Christmas is in it. So are Halloween and Thanksgiving. It's more a coming of age story and Felix reminded me of Ralphie, the kid from A Christmas Story. I also got a kick out of the book because it was like a walk down memory lane--the way people dressed and talked, the TV shows they watched, and how simple everything used to be. Families ate together instead of apart. It was a fast, entertaining read and I'm glad to add it to my Wally Lamb collection!
I liked this article much better and it fit in nicely with the Thursday Thirteen theme. See, I waver between feeling up and positive to feeling depressed and negative. It's a battle to stay upbeat but I find if I can do it a couple of days in a row, I can get a momentum going and keep at least an even keel for a while.
The article talks about what happy people do differently to stay happy. There was a list of 12 things and then I added one:
1. "Express Gratitude". Even if the only thing you can say is you have a roof over your head and food in your belly, this helps. I think about the things I do have when times are rough--like now, with the spending Christmas season. Things could be a lot worse.
2. "Cultivate Optimism". This is something my therapist was trying out with me. It involves saying things like, things aren't going so well but they can get better.
Or they will get better.
3. "Avoid over-thinking and social comparison". In other words, instead of worrying about the Joneses' just focus on yourself. So I'll just not concern myself with all the lights and decorations everyone else seems to have.
4. "Practice acts of kindness." This is a good one. I've done lots of these and it really is true--it gets that feel-good serotonin flowing.
5. "Nurture social relationships." This is a little harder for me to practice except on the internet. I never did make any friendships here in NJ mostly because it just seems like I have to say good bye to people I've made close friends with in the two states I lived in before, MD and NY. I try to attend to my internet friendships though. I've found some of my closest friends online.
6. "Develop strategies for coping". Ah, well, this is a skill I learned as a child when there were all sorts of crisis and chaos going on around me. I would come up with a Plan A, B, C, D, and E. If one failed, I'd turn to another.
7. "Learn to forgive". That's come with age. It's not something I could do when I was younger and filled with righteous anger. Over the years, the anger's tempered and I've learned a lot about how people behave and think.
8. "Increase flow experiences". Well, that's something I need to work on. I can get into the flow when I'm writing but haven't been able to focus recently. If I developed a hobby I enjoyed I could get into the flow too.
9. "Savor life's joys". Ah, yes, like spending the day with Little T or watching a snowstorm from the safety of my home or the sun coming up over the ocean.
10. "Commit to your goals". This is another one I need to work on. I feel adrift because I don't really have any goals other than getting through each and every day.
11. "Practice Spirituality". We do that, praying several times a day.
12. "Take Care of Your Body." I could improve in this area. I could exercise more regularly and watch what I eat. I could make sure I get to doctors for regular check-ups and preventative tests like mammograms and stuff.
13. Keep your sense of humor. This my own addition. I think if I didn't have a sense of humor (albeit a dark one sometimes) I would have lost my mind already. When I laugh, I feel those feel-good endorphins flowing around.
Last night, I finished reading a book called Wishin and Hopin by Wally Lamb, one of my favorite authors. The book was funny and sweet, focusing on 10 year old Felix Funicello, his family, friends, and school teachers. I saw it marketed in the book club as a Christmas book. I wouldn't have called it that although Christmas is in it. So are Halloween and Thanksgiving. It's more a coming of age story and Felix reminded me of Ralphie, the kid from A Christmas Story. I also got a kick out of the book because it was like a walk down memory lane--the way people dressed and talked, the TV shows they watched, and how simple everything used to be. Families ate together instead of apart. It was a fast, entertaining read and I'm glad to add it to my Wally Lamb collection!
Thursday, November 17
Thursday Thirteen and a bad day!
I got this idea because I just finished Full Dark, No Stars by Stephen King and just started his 11/22/63.
Pretend all these titles are underlined. It's too much work for me today! ;)
1. The Stand
2. It
3. Salem's Lot
4. Dolores Claiborne
5. Hearts In Atlantis
6. Green Mile
7. The Shining
8. The Talisman
9. The Black House
10. Carrie
11. Needful Things
12. The Eyes of the Dragon
13. Bag of Bones
Getting back to Full Dark, No Stars, Stephen King delivered four short stories of one type of horror or another. He always delivers, even though I think his writing has changed since he was hit by that van and nearly killed. I'm a devoted fan of his earlier books, which appear on the list above.
I wonder what kind of book King would write if he wrote about us.
This has just been one of those days.
It's raining so TB is in excrutiating pain.
He started to chew one of our bariatric supplements for omega three. These chews used to be soft and now they're hard like rocks. One of the caps on his teeth came out. I put my chew back because that's all I need. We don't have dental coverage and won't get any until January 1.
The last time this happened, over a year ago, TB glued the cap back in himself over and over. It worked for months and then he accidentally swallowed it and we couldn't afford a new cap. So now that tooth has been sitting there uncapped. This time we'll rob Peter to pay Paul to have the dentist glue it back in. Hopefully it will stay put permanently or at least until we can get the insurance.
I had an appointment to see the kidney specialist this morning. I'd scheduled it for soon after Kristin's class started and figured I'd be back in time for the last class to end 3 hours later. Okay, you guessed it. I waited an hour in the waiting room before being called back and then went through a lot of rigamarole only to have the doctor barely look at me, order up a bunch of tests and say repeatedly I should've been sent to an endocrinologist. I got out 15 minutes before Kristin's class ended and it's a half hour drive to the school. I was aggravated and frustrated and majorly stressed out.
The sound on our TV isn't working. We don't know why.
I forgot to take a chicken out for dinner last night so I took it out around six this morning. It's still frozen. I put it into a sink of cold water. Think it'll be thawed enough for me to cut it in an hour?
With the way today's been going, I doubt it. :P
Thursday, November 10
Thirteen must haves in my kitchen!
These are in addition to the usual essentials: flour, sugar, salt, pepper, corn starch and ;) coffee.
1. Garlic: fresh, chopped, diced, and powder. I put a lot of it in everything from eggs to roasts to gravies and what have you.
2. Onions: I use fresh onions the way I use garlic. If I don't have an onion, which is a true emergency situation, I use powder. Onions go great in everything!
3. Soy sauce
4. Honey
5. Vinegar
6. Ginger
I make a lot of sweet & sour or Polynesian type sauces and marinade and that's what the above three ingredients are for. Usually I have to plan and get pineapples when I'm going to make the Polynesian sauces.
7. Worcestershire sauce: meatloaf and hamburgers!
8. Paprika
9. Sour Cream: goes great in different sauces or gravies I make
10. Emeril's: BAM!
11. Cinnamon: one of TB's favorites. I like to put it in mashed yams or on my cottage cheese
12. Bay leaves: must have for soups and stews
13. Italian seasoning: I like that they're all rolled into one. I enjoy all equally and use this one a lot too.
I wonder what everyone else would choose?
Wednesday, November 9
First aid for a baby bird and other stuff
What do you do when a baby bird flies into your window and crashes to the ground? TB picked the poor little guy up and cradled it in his hands. We didn't know how badly the little guy was hurt and hoped it was just stunned. I found a box and we put a little water, birdseed, and some leaves into the box. TB gently put the bird down and it just did not want to let go of his finger, poor little thing!
We had to go out for a doctor's appointment. When we got back, we checked the box and it was empty. It looks like our little patient was just stunned and needed to rest before flying away! :)
We went to Good Will the other day for sheets. We were hoping to avoid buying new queen sheets just for this craft show. Good Will has everything and is a godsend for people in need. I like shopping there and don't mind the inconvenience of going through each piece of clothing to find my size. It's worth it! They also have everything from socks to bedroom sets and more. Anyway, we didn't find queen size sheets but we did find a set of three. I think they're full size but can be pieced together to make the size we need. It cost us only $6.99!
TB's been working almost around the clock to get ready for the craft show. I took a couple of pictures of the smaller items he's made and will bring.
My favorite is the mouse with cheese. TB took better pictures of his creations because he used a white backdrop. I plan on getting more pictures of the other projects the day of the craft show.
Yet again, I will need to call Medicare. TB and I want to compare health plans and hopefully go with one that has vision and dental. There are two in our area and when I discussed them with a Medicare agent named Jose they both seemed pretty good. He told me the monthly premium would be $84 for one and $89 for the other. I got a comparison report on those two companies from Medicare and was completely confused by the price breakdown. There were about a dozen breakdowns in different categories. Was I supposed to add them up? The report said the monthly premiums would be about $115 a month. What happened to the costs Jose gave me? So that is what I need to ask Medicare. What is the *real* monthly premium?
After that, we need to figure out if our doctors participate. In some cases, like with Dr. Greenbaum our bariatric surgeon, we're not going to want to switch to a stranger. Next, we have to figure out the cost of co-pays. Right now, we have no co-pay. If we switched, we'd save around $200 a month (I think) but then we'd have to figure how many times we see a specialist in a month. The specialist co-pay is $25 or $35. I think I would need a specialist once a month as long as I'm healthy. Switching might be a good option for me if it means I can get dental and vision.
Today I'm calling our doctors to see if they participate in either of these two plans. It's especially important for TB that they do!
This week I'll be thinking about whether I want to push off PTSD therapy to the new year. Susan, my therapist, insists that digging around in all these memories is supposed to dredge up all these feelings and reactions. That I've not reacted with strong emotion nor cried tells her that I'm resisting and using my defenses to stay away from painful memories.
I'm sure she's right because most of the painful stuff either feels like it's in a block of ice in the freezer or in a box stuffed into the back of a closet.
Well. Maybe what I should decide is whether it's worth trying to tackle all that PTSD stuff period. It took me over 50 years to build these walls and defenses and I don't think much will change in a 12 week program. So, I'm thinking...
And while I'm thinking, I've decided I like the Black Friday movement to boycott all but the independent businesses and stores for Christmas shopping. Big name brand stores make tons of money and don't treat their employees well. I suppose the little independents treat their employees similarly which makes me mad but I think I'd rather support them than the big chain stores who could afford to behave better toward their workers. Maybe what I'll do is just boycott everybody and make my own gifts!
On Facebook, I share pictures that resonate with me. Today there was one that pissed me off. It listed the outrageous salaries the president and members of congress earn *for the rest of their lives* and then lists the average social security salary of a senior as $12,000. And it's some of these senators and congresspersons who want to mess with social security and medicare. You'd never see them say anything about reducing *their* forever salaries!
Saturday, November 5
Whiling away the Saturday morning hours...
Some Saturdays it's difficult waiting for Kristin's ASL class to end. Those are the Saturdays when she has a doctor's appointment 90 minutes after the class ends. It's difficult because on those days, I don't shop as much and have a longer period of time to wait. I don't shop as much because I don't get the perishables. I don't get perishables because I won't get home until around 3 and I don't want them sitting in the car up to 4 hours. I can't take them home and come back because it's a 45 minute trip one way. It would help if the library or lounge were open but they're both locked up tight on Saturdays! This is one of those instances where reliable and convenient public transportation would be a big help!
I brought a couple of books, this notebook I'm writing in, and a Shoprite flyer to help me pass the time. I can get some non-perishables and that will take a half hour. Writing is a great way to use time if only I could think of something to write about! ;)
One thing I've noticed this year is how my body's response has changed to temperatures. When I was heavy, my internal temperature was 10-20 degrees warmer than your average person. In winter, I would go around in a light jacket. I shunned sweaters. We kept our bedroom thermostat set to 55. I was always miserable in the summer because I always felt too hot.
When I lost all that weight two and a half years ago, my inner thermometer was still on the warm side. I remember last fall, when the temperatures were in the mid-to-upper 60s, I was comfortable wearing a tee shirt, jeans and a hoodie.
It's all different this year! Lately, we've had some truly gorgeous weather. The temperatures have been in the 60s. Now, though, I find I need to wear my heavier jacket--the one lined with thick quilting. My kids all stroll around in hoodies, like I used to.
Previously, TB set our heat between 55-62. Now we freeze at those settings. We've gone a little higher and bundle up. On an evening when it's in the 50s outdoors, you'll find me in my winter robe. TB's struggled with the change in his body temperature well over a year. He used to be like me, an internal furnace. Now he dresses like Nanook of the North: long johns, layers of shirts, hoodie (with the hood pulled up over his head) and winter robe. I should take a picture of us! I wonder what we'll look like when it really gets cold? :D
I brought a couple of books, this notebook I'm writing in, and a Shoprite flyer to help me pass the time. I can get some non-perishables and that will take a half hour. Writing is a great way to use time if only I could think of something to write about! ;)
One thing I've noticed this year is how my body's response has changed to temperatures. When I was heavy, my internal temperature was 10-20 degrees warmer than your average person. In winter, I would go around in a light jacket. I shunned sweaters. We kept our bedroom thermostat set to 55. I was always miserable in the summer because I always felt too hot.
When I lost all that weight two and a half years ago, my inner thermometer was still on the warm side. I remember last fall, when the temperatures were in the mid-to-upper 60s, I was comfortable wearing a tee shirt, jeans and a hoodie.
It's all different this year! Lately, we've had some truly gorgeous weather. The temperatures have been in the 60s. Now, though, I find I need to wear my heavier jacket--the one lined with thick quilting. My kids all stroll around in hoodies, like I used to.
Previously, TB set our heat between 55-62. Now we freeze at those settings. We've gone a little higher and bundle up. On an evening when it's in the 50s outdoors, you'll find me in my winter robe. TB's struggled with the change in his body temperature well over a year. He used to be like me, an internal furnace. Now he dresses like Nanook of the North: long johns, layers of shirts, hoodie (with the hood pulled up over his head) and winter robe. I should take a picture of us! I wonder what we'll look like when it really gets cold? :D
Thursday, October 13
My 13 ways to relax
1. Napping
2. Blogging
3. Reading
4. Listening to music
5. Walking
6. Coffee in the afternoon
7. Turning in early
8. Praying
9. Sitting on the swing in our back yard
10. Turn in early at night and sleeping
11. Playing Lexulous/other Facebook activities like poking & commenting
12. Surfing the web
13. Trying to count blessings
Sleep turns up more than once on my list because it's my favorite way to escape from stress since I can't eliminate it. I don't know if I dream often or not. I remember snippets of dreams and they're not bad or scary. Right now, I can fall asleep pretty easily. It's especially helpful when I'm having a fibro day and am in pain. When I'm sleeping I don't feel the pain and I'm not worrying about how we're going to make it.
Blogging is a good way to let off some steam!
Reading is another means of escape. When I can fall into a good book, I'm not thinking about my problems.
Music lifts my spirits. If I'm feeling really tense, I'll play hard driving rock music. Most of the time, though, I want to listen to classical music to relax.
Coffee seems like a weird thing to put on a list about relaxing, doesn't it? I have it there though because it's a temporary mood elevator for me. I don't know how or why it works that way for me but it's really helpful.
I love playing Lexulous on Facebook. I also get a kick out of poking and being poked by friends. I also like Facebook because I can stay in touch with friends and family even though I can't travel and see them. Surfing on the computer is fun and can be really interesting too.
Praying and counting my blessings hasn't been working too well to relieve stress lately but I figured I'd put them down anyway.
Now I think I'll go read some articles recapping last night's Survivor episode.
Monday, October 10
A Bag of Apples
The growing nationwide protests against corporate greed is beginning to remind me of the protests of the '60s and '70s. I remember the news coverage but wasn't really sure what to think. I was too young and immature to really come to any kind of conclusions about them.
In 1976, though, I was 21 and participated in a demonstration and sit-in at the then HEW (Health, Education & Welfare) building in Washington, D.C. The protest was because the regulations for the Vocational Rehabilitation Act of 1973 were still unsigned. This was a law that was supposed to stop discrimination against the disabled in the educational and workplace settings. It was a good law but couldn't be enforced because the HEW Secretary hadn't signed the regulations. After all these years, I don't remember why he hadn't and I don't remember why he wouldn't when the "oversight" was pointed out to him. The disabled community got fed up--pretty much the way the dwindling middle class has become fed up.
I was working at the National Center for Law and the Deaf. My boss was the executive director. We had lawyers working there that took on all kinds of cases, mostly having to do with discrimination. My boss was more on the advocacy end. Anyway, he called a meeting with all of us and explained the upcoming protest. If we decided to go along, we'd be picketing outside the building--with the possibility of going in and sitting in overnight or for days--as long as it would take to get Secretary Califano to sign the regs. My boss said it was all intended to be peaceful but that there was a good chance we'd be arrested for trespass if we sat in.
I decided to go. I'd seen my parents suffer discrimination almost everywhere and some of the experiences were pretty humiliating. I knew other Deaf people also were oppressed and had been discriminated against. I was young and the thought of jail didn't scare me.
There were hundreds and hundreds of people at the protest. Hundreds were blind; hundreds were in wheelchairs; hundreds had all sorts of disabilities. We carried signs and marched. At some point, I saw my boss meeting with the leaders of other groups. He came over to us and said a group was going to go into the building. Two Deaf employees and I volunteered to go in with my boss and the others. The leaders of the other groups were asking for their own volunteers. There was at least 20 of us going in.
When we got to Secretary Califano's office, my boss asked to meet with him. Mr. Califano's secretary looked at us with an expression of amusement and confusion. She informed us that Mr. Califano was out. Of course. So we all sat down on the floor.
It was later in the afternoon. I'd only brought my purse and a jacket with me. I was wondering if I should have brought more stuff...like food. The two Deaf employees, Susan and Fred, were friends of mine and sat down next to me. We spent the next few hours just chatting. I saw my boss conferring with Deaf leaders Fred Schreiber and T.J. O'Rourke. Around 4:30, the secretaries packed up and left for the day. We were on our own--or so we thought.
Within the hour, the police had shown up. Until then, we'd freely gone to get a drink of water from the fountain or go to the bathroom. The police wouldn't let us anymore, except for once an hour. For some reason, they wanted us to take our shoes off.
My boss used the phone--this was before cell phones!--to call a pay phone outside. He and the other lawyers had previously arranged this system to be used in case we went into the building. He could get news from the street this way. Around 7, he asked one of the lawyers to order pizza for everyone in the building.
About an hour later, the lawyer called from the pay phone and told my boss the pizza delivery guy had been stopped at the door. No one would be allowed in. Well, of course we should have anticipated that.
Fred Schreiber and T.J. O'Rourke were both excellent storytellers and that was our entertainment for the evening. Trying to tell a Deaf story in writing just loses too much in translation. There's a lot of facial expression and feeling that goes into the stories. You have to see it to appreciate it.
I remember one tense incident though. Schreiber's wife showed up with his prescriptions and the police wouldn't let her come in. They didn't want to bring the medication themselves either. We found out, of course, by a call from the pay phone. I remember my boss got on the phone with the policeman in charge and arguing with him. Politics and position mean everything, though, because Schreiber got his medication when my boss said, "Do you really want the president of the National Association of the Deaf to possibly die because you wouldn't let him have his heart medication? There's press outside all over the place!"
It was hard to get comfortable because we had to sit or lie down on the floor. The lights stayed on. The air conditioning was turned up full blast. We knew all of this was designed to make us uncomfortable and leave. The thing is, we felt totally committed to our cause. We'd tried to get the regs signed the proper way and had been confounded time after time. All around the country, the disabled and advocates had gotten fed up. There were sit-ins in other HEW buildings as well.
Around 2 in the morning, I rolled my coat up in a ball and went to sleep. My two friends curled up on either side of me. We didn't sleep soundly but we got some rest.
I woke up around six the next morning and sat up sleepily. The elevator doors opened and an elderly man stepped out. I recognized him as an employee of HEW. He approached us with a bag in his arms. The police standing guard didn't really notice him right away. When they did, they moved on him and that's when he threw the bag into the room with us.
Apples began bouncing everywhere as a couple of cops grabbed that elderly man and threw him against the wall. Other cops ran into the room, grabbing for the apples and snatching them out of the hands of the protestors. It was the craziest thing I'd ever seen. I think the cops got all the apples back. They pushed the elderly man into the elevator and I had no idea what was going to happen to him. After the whole thing was over, I found out he'd been ejected from the building. He'd heard we had no food and had bought the apples from a produce stand.
We didn't stay inside the building very long after that. Too many protestors had health issues and so we ended up leaving.
As a result of the protests, though, Secretary Califano signed the regulations. I felt like I'd been a part of something important.
I've been thinking about going down to Philadelphia just for the day. My sitting in days are over but I can do other things.
One thing that made me mad this morning was a sign I saw about how teachers making $50,000 (which ain't a lot) are being asked to take a salary cut of 20% but God forbid we should ask millionaires to pay 3% more in taxes. That totally gets me. It's not just teachers--it's a lot of workers from what used to be the middle class. They have to take cuts in salary either directly or by paying more health insurance costs. Yet Congress has all their benefits paid for 100%, enjoys a healthy salary and retirement. Don't even get me started on the benefits and perks corporate millionaires enjoy! I can think of a couple of signs I'd make!
In 1976, though, I was 21 and participated in a demonstration and sit-in at the then HEW (Health, Education & Welfare) building in Washington, D.C. The protest was because the regulations for the Vocational Rehabilitation Act of 1973 were still unsigned. This was a law that was supposed to stop discrimination against the disabled in the educational and workplace settings. It was a good law but couldn't be enforced because the HEW Secretary hadn't signed the regulations. After all these years, I don't remember why he hadn't and I don't remember why he wouldn't when the "oversight" was pointed out to him. The disabled community got fed up--pretty much the way the dwindling middle class has become fed up.
I was working at the National Center for Law and the Deaf. My boss was the executive director. We had lawyers working there that took on all kinds of cases, mostly having to do with discrimination. My boss was more on the advocacy end. Anyway, he called a meeting with all of us and explained the upcoming protest. If we decided to go along, we'd be picketing outside the building--with the possibility of going in and sitting in overnight or for days--as long as it would take to get Secretary Califano to sign the regs. My boss said it was all intended to be peaceful but that there was a good chance we'd be arrested for trespass if we sat in.
I decided to go. I'd seen my parents suffer discrimination almost everywhere and some of the experiences were pretty humiliating. I knew other Deaf people also were oppressed and had been discriminated against. I was young and the thought of jail didn't scare me.
There were hundreds and hundreds of people at the protest. Hundreds were blind; hundreds were in wheelchairs; hundreds had all sorts of disabilities. We carried signs and marched. At some point, I saw my boss meeting with the leaders of other groups. He came over to us and said a group was going to go into the building. Two Deaf employees and I volunteered to go in with my boss and the others. The leaders of the other groups were asking for their own volunteers. There was at least 20 of us going in.
When we got to Secretary Califano's office, my boss asked to meet with him. Mr. Califano's secretary looked at us with an expression of amusement and confusion. She informed us that Mr. Califano was out. Of course. So we all sat down on the floor.
It was later in the afternoon. I'd only brought my purse and a jacket with me. I was wondering if I should have brought more stuff...like food. The two Deaf employees, Susan and Fred, were friends of mine and sat down next to me. We spent the next few hours just chatting. I saw my boss conferring with Deaf leaders Fred Schreiber and T.J. O'Rourke. Around 4:30, the secretaries packed up and left for the day. We were on our own--or so we thought.
Within the hour, the police had shown up. Until then, we'd freely gone to get a drink of water from the fountain or go to the bathroom. The police wouldn't let us anymore, except for once an hour. For some reason, they wanted us to take our shoes off.
My boss used the phone--this was before cell phones!--to call a pay phone outside. He and the other lawyers had previously arranged this system to be used in case we went into the building. He could get news from the street this way. Around 7, he asked one of the lawyers to order pizza for everyone in the building.
About an hour later, the lawyer called from the pay phone and told my boss the pizza delivery guy had been stopped at the door. No one would be allowed in. Well, of course we should have anticipated that.
Fred Schreiber and T.J. O'Rourke were both excellent storytellers and that was our entertainment for the evening. Trying to tell a Deaf story in writing just loses too much in translation. There's a lot of facial expression and feeling that goes into the stories. You have to see it to appreciate it.
I remember one tense incident though. Schreiber's wife showed up with his prescriptions and the police wouldn't let her come in. They didn't want to bring the medication themselves either. We found out, of course, by a call from the pay phone. I remember my boss got on the phone with the policeman in charge and arguing with him. Politics and position mean everything, though, because Schreiber got his medication when my boss said, "Do you really want the president of the National Association of the Deaf to possibly die because you wouldn't let him have his heart medication? There's press outside all over the place!"
It was hard to get comfortable because we had to sit or lie down on the floor. The lights stayed on. The air conditioning was turned up full blast. We knew all of this was designed to make us uncomfortable and leave. The thing is, we felt totally committed to our cause. We'd tried to get the regs signed the proper way and had been confounded time after time. All around the country, the disabled and advocates had gotten fed up. There were sit-ins in other HEW buildings as well.
Around 2 in the morning, I rolled my coat up in a ball and went to sleep. My two friends curled up on either side of me. We didn't sleep soundly but we got some rest.
I woke up around six the next morning and sat up sleepily. The elevator doors opened and an elderly man stepped out. I recognized him as an employee of HEW. He approached us with a bag in his arms. The police standing guard didn't really notice him right away. When they did, they moved on him and that's when he threw the bag into the room with us.
Apples began bouncing everywhere as a couple of cops grabbed that elderly man and threw him against the wall. Other cops ran into the room, grabbing for the apples and snatching them out of the hands of the protestors. It was the craziest thing I'd ever seen. I think the cops got all the apples back. They pushed the elderly man into the elevator and I had no idea what was going to happen to him. After the whole thing was over, I found out he'd been ejected from the building. He'd heard we had no food and had bought the apples from a produce stand.
We didn't stay inside the building very long after that. Too many protestors had health issues and so we ended up leaving.
As a result of the protests, though, Secretary Califano signed the regulations. I felt like I'd been a part of something important.
I've been thinking about going down to Philadelphia just for the day. My sitting in days are over but I can do other things.
One thing that made me mad this morning was a sign I saw about how teachers making $50,000 (which ain't a lot) are being asked to take a salary cut of 20% but God forbid we should ask millionaires to pay 3% more in taxes. That totally gets me. It's not just teachers--it's a lot of workers from what used to be the middle class. They have to take cuts in salary either directly or by paying more health insurance costs. Yet Congress has all their benefits paid for 100%, enjoys a healthy salary and retirement. Don't even get me started on the benefits and perks corporate millionaires enjoy! I can think of a couple of signs I'd make!
Sunday, August 21
Good Neighbors
What attracted me to Good Neighbors by Ryan David Jahn was two things: reviews said the story was based on the Kitty Genovese story and it was compared to the movie Crash. I had a flashback to an incident that occurred on my lunch break years ago, when I was in my early 20s. I decided to read the book.
This is Jahn's first book. He could be the next excellent writer if he continues to write stories like this one.
Kat Marino is a young woman who goes off her late shift and returns home to her apartment in Queens around 4 a.m. Little does she know there's a predator waiting for her. Little does she know a bunch of her neighbors (some strangers, some not) are up at the time, involved in their own petty little dramas. So she is attacked by the predator and screams for help. Some people actually comes to their windows to look out but no one lifts a finger to help--not even to call the police.
The story goes on with the last few hours of poor Kat's life. There are also visits to all these other people to learn what they'd been doing and why they didn't act to help. There's a rogue cop and an EMT with vengeance on his mind.
The book is a thriller and one of those I had trouble putting down. All the same, it was also a story where I disliked nearly all the characters. Part of it was that they did nothing to help. I know there's a whole syndrome about this named for Kitty Genovese--the more bystanders there are the less likely it is that anyone will get involved. All these characters had other "stuff" going on in their lives but it was hard for me to care or feel sympathetic. The characters were also rather stereotypical which could be due to Jahn's inexperience or due to the length of the story (it's not very long at all).
My favorite character was Frank, who passed Kat's car as she was arriving home. I think he would have helped her if he'd been able to return in time.
The memory that got sparked: I was working in Baltimore City as a clerk typist. I liked to take my lunch by myself outdoors on nice days. This particular day I went to Hopkins Plaza. On one side was the Morris Mechanic Theater. I went up to the top level. I could look down on the plaza and people watch or gaze at the flowers there. I always had a book with me because I get myself settled and read while I ate. That's what I was doing when I heard the scream.
I stood up and looked down into the plaza. Dozens of people were sitting along the fountain and the flower bank, eating their lunches. None of them had screamed but they were all looking around. Then I saw a man dragging a woman along. It almost looked like he had her around the throat as he pulled her along. She was screaming "No, no!" No one got up or challenged the man.
"Hey!" I yelled from where I was. There was no way I could reach them--and no way that man could reach me. They never looked around anyway.
The man continued to drag the woman out of the plaza.
Then I saw a hard hat entering the plaza. He heard her screaming and ran to her aid. At about the same time, police or security guards came out of the federal building on the other side of the plaza and the man was apprehended.
I have no idea what almost happened. Did the two of them know each other? Were they strangers? It bothered me a lot that no one tried to help her and I wondered what would have happened if the construction worker hadn't intervened.
This is Jahn's first book. He could be the next excellent writer if he continues to write stories like this one.
Kat Marino is a young woman who goes off her late shift and returns home to her apartment in Queens around 4 a.m. Little does she know there's a predator waiting for her. Little does she know a bunch of her neighbors (some strangers, some not) are up at the time, involved in their own petty little dramas. So she is attacked by the predator and screams for help. Some people actually comes to their windows to look out but no one lifts a finger to help--not even to call the police.
The story goes on with the last few hours of poor Kat's life. There are also visits to all these other people to learn what they'd been doing and why they didn't act to help. There's a rogue cop and an EMT with vengeance on his mind.
The book is a thriller and one of those I had trouble putting down. All the same, it was also a story where I disliked nearly all the characters. Part of it was that they did nothing to help. I know there's a whole syndrome about this named for Kitty Genovese--the more bystanders there are the less likely it is that anyone will get involved. All these characters had other "stuff" going on in their lives but it was hard for me to care or feel sympathetic. The characters were also rather stereotypical which could be due to Jahn's inexperience or due to the length of the story (it's not very long at all).
My favorite character was Frank, who passed Kat's car as she was arriving home. I think he would have helped her if he'd been able to return in time.
The memory that got sparked: I was working in Baltimore City as a clerk typist. I liked to take my lunch by myself outdoors on nice days. This particular day I went to Hopkins Plaza. On one side was the Morris Mechanic Theater. I went up to the top level. I could look down on the plaza and people watch or gaze at the flowers there. I always had a book with me because I get myself settled and read while I ate. That's what I was doing when I heard the scream.
I stood up and looked down into the plaza. Dozens of people were sitting along the fountain and the flower bank, eating their lunches. None of them had screamed but they were all looking around. Then I saw a man dragging a woman along. It almost looked like he had her around the throat as he pulled her along. She was screaming "No, no!" No one got up or challenged the man.
"Hey!" I yelled from where I was. There was no way I could reach them--and no way that man could reach me. They never looked around anyway.
The man continued to drag the woman out of the plaza.
Then I saw a hard hat entering the plaza. He heard her screaming and ran to her aid. At about the same time, police or security guards came out of the federal building on the other side of the plaza and the man was apprehended.
I have no idea what almost happened. Did the two of them know each other? Were they strangers? It bothered me a lot that no one tried to help her and I wondered what would have happened if the construction worker hadn't intervened.
Tuesday, June 21
Tracking My Weight Loss
And since I had surgery:
As of July 5, I only have 16.5 lbs. to go to my goal! Woooohoooo!
Check it out!
Blogger now lets me make tabbed pages and I think it's really cool!
I have updated information about my weight loss surgery progress pictures and story under my WLS Progress page.
My book list and resolutions for 2010 are now listed on the "About Me" page. Please click away!
Thursday, June 9
Thursday Memes
1) If you could write a book, what would you write about? Or if you've already written books, when can we expect to see your next one? I have a couple of ideas for stories. One involves growing up in a Deaf family with a fifth of alcohol thrown in and the other has to do with coping with widowhood. I don't want to get anymore detailed than that online.
2) Have you ever wondered about quitting your blog, what was the first thought that came to mind? Actually I have. The first thing I thought was: I don't have anything to say! I have to be careful about what I write about in real life because this is the internet. Whatever I put online is there forever and I'm sure there's a lot out there I wouldn't have posted if I'd thought about it twice. So what is there left for me to blog about except for my four footed friends? Even there I'm running out of pictures and ideas. A timely meme for me today!
In high school, my favorite subject was drama. I took drama when I was a senior and loved it so much I took it twice. I had to get permission from the teacher and she readily gave it. How could I not love drama? The teacher encouraged us to get in touch with our feelings and stretch. We practiced with tons of exercises everyday. At the end of the semester, we put on a class performance, a "little theater". Mrs. Cooper was one of the best teachers I've ever had, always encouraging us to think through a situation and figure out what the character might be thinking or feeling. I went from being very stiff and awkward with myself to more relaxed and in tune with who I was.
1. Ride bikes with TB...but in the morning when it's not so hot!
2. Swim in the lake
3. Visit & swim in the ocean
4. Spend time with grandson Little T
5. Read A Dance With Dragons when it comes out in July
6. Pick up cat blogging on a regular basis again
7. Find blocks of time to write and then do it!
8. Hide from the heat and humidity as much as possible
9. Find recipes that don't require using the oven!
10. See an orthopedic specialist in ankles about fixing my foot
11. Watch movies with husband and kids -- nothing much on TV during the summer!
12. Read all these books I have piled up as long as I'm hiding indoors from the heat and humidity
12. Stay in touch with friends and family now that school's over!
All things being equal (money, space, etc), would you rather own copies of the books you read? Or borrow them? It depends on the book and/or the author. For example, I would rather own George R.R. Martin's A Song of Fire and Ice series because I love it so much. I collect Stephen King's books. I'm beginning to feel the same way about Edward Rutherfurd. Many other books I'd read and enjoy just once. Those I'd rather borrow.
1. How’s your head space doing this week? It's pretty good this week. There is always stress but I'm managing it a lot better now that school is over.
2. Anything major got you down lately? If so, what? What are you doing about it? The economy and what it's done to our finances. Everything is so tight we are practically counting pennies. The only thing we can do is watch what we spend, which is what we've been doing for the last couple of years.
3. What do you do to help pull yourself out of depression when it strikes? For me, depression is a chronic battle. Right now my meds are working again. Sometime during the winter, my antidepressant sort of failed and I slid into a deep well of depression. I thought about quitting school, wanted to sleep all the time, and the whole nine yards. The doctor gave me a new med to try and what I did was just basically order myself to hang in there until it could kick in and start working. That's the thing with depression. It usually lifts but it just doesn't feel like it ever will. It's a real struggle to fight it.
Saturday, June 4
Memes
I just came from reading a friend's blog, Jen's Rambling Thoughts enthusiastic about memes again. I'd forgotten about them in the year I was going to school! Memes are fun and can sometimes spark ideas to write about.
Saturday Six
Name 6 things that you did more before you discovered social networking?
1. Read
2. Go out
3. Talk on the phone
4. Face time with friends
5. Play with pets
6. Work on puzzles
Saturday Nine
Best and Worst
1. What was the best thing that happened to you this week? TB and I celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary. Son Bill treated us to dinner and then we went to the movies. It was so nice to go out!
The worst? TB's been having muscle spasms all over his body and last night, his leg gave out. It's scary and very worrisome!
2. What's the best thing someone's done for you (recently or not so recently)? My mom sent us a big fat check for our anniversary!
What's the worst thing someone's done to you (again, recently or not so recently)? Gosh, I try not to focus on negative stuff. Well, I guess the worst thing was being deprived of our grandson for six months a few years ago.
3. What's the best thing about your job? I'm not working right now but when I was an interpreter for the Deaf, I loved interacting with the clients and being in a new setting from day to day. I loved my independence.
Worst? The pain from overuse syndrome in my hands. I started interpreting in the early days, long before breaks and relief were required for interpreters signing for more than 30 minutes at a time. There were days I was signing six hours.
4. What's the best new website you've found? The Dark Shadows News Page. I am a big fan of the original gothic soap and its actors and actresses. I am thrilled that Tim Burton is filming a remake with Johnny Depp.
Worst? I guess I'd have to say my professors' webpages because all they have is work...classwork and homework!
5. What's the best book you've read? It's been out for a couple of years but I was waiting to read it until the last of the series was about to come out. It's called A Feast For Crows by George R.R. Martin.
Worst? I'm not sure. I give a book about 100 pages to "hook" me and if it doesn't, I set it aside and forget it.
6. What's the best movie you've seen? It's so hard to pick just one but I'll say Casablanca
Worst? Men At Work with Emilio Estevez. It came out in the early '90s, I think.
7. What's the best meal you've had? Prime rib, baked potato, sour cream & beans
Worst? Liver--I couldn't get past the first bite!
8. What's the best holiday? Christmas
Worst? I can't think of a worst holiday. Maybe Valentine's Day. It's about love, but what if you don't have a significant other? It's also about spending a lot on cards, candy and flowers
9. What's the best thing in your future? Hope
Worst? The economy!
The Saturday Six at Patrick's Place
1. Which doughnut shop do you prefer: Dunkin’ Donuts, Krispy Kreme, or a different store? I prefer Krispy Kreme slightly over Dunkin' Donuts. There's something about the taste that's different and Krispy Kreme is more appealing.
2. Do you prefer your doughnuts hot, room temperature or cool? Room temperature
3. Take the quiz: What Donut Are You?
4. How do you usually spell it: doughnut or donut? Donut
5. Do you prefer cake-style or glazed? Glazed
6. Do you prefer frosted, creme-filled or plain? Frosted
That first meme got me thinking about all the things I did before Facebook. I'm thinking I should devote less time to the computer and more to friends and family. So I called my mom on TTY to see how she's doing. She told me she was busy doing laundry (hint, hint, get off the phone). I asked if she'd rather I call another time and she said yes, because she also had to get ready to make her dinner. It was 9 a.m. at the time. But who knows? Maybe an 82 year old woman needs that extra time. So I went back to Facebook. ;) Later, though, I'm hoping off to read a book, ride my bike and spend some time with my kids! It's another beautiful day outside and I hope everyone else enjoys their weekend!
Name 6 things that you did more before you discovered social networking?
1. Read
2. Go out
3. Talk on the phone
4. Face time with friends
5. Play with pets
6. Work on puzzles
1. What was the best thing that happened to you this week? TB and I celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary. Son Bill treated us to dinner and then we went to the movies. It was so nice to go out!
The worst? TB's been having muscle spasms all over his body and last night, his leg gave out. It's scary and very worrisome!
2. What's the best thing someone's done for you (recently or not so recently)? My mom sent us a big fat check for our anniversary!
What's the worst thing someone's done to you (again, recently or not so recently)? Gosh, I try not to focus on negative stuff. Well, I guess the worst thing was being deprived of our grandson for six months a few years ago.
3. What's the best thing about your job? I'm not working right now but when I was an interpreter for the Deaf, I loved interacting with the clients and being in a new setting from day to day. I loved my independence.
Worst? The pain from overuse syndrome in my hands. I started interpreting in the early days, long before breaks and relief were required for interpreters signing for more than 30 minutes at a time. There were days I was signing six hours.
4. What's the best new website you've found? The Dark Shadows News Page. I am a big fan of the original gothic soap and its actors and actresses. I am thrilled that Tim Burton is filming a remake with Johnny Depp.
Worst? I guess I'd have to say my professors' webpages because all they have is work...classwork and homework!
5. What's the best book you've read? It's been out for a couple of years but I was waiting to read it until the last of the series was about to come out. It's called A Feast For Crows by George R.R. Martin.
Worst? I'm not sure. I give a book about 100 pages to "hook" me and if it doesn't, I set it aside and forget it.
6. What's the best movie you've seen? It's so hard to pick just one but I'll say Casablanca
Worst? Men At Work with Emilio Estevez. It came out in the early '90s, I think.
7. What's the best meal you've had? Prime rib, baked potato, sour cream & beans
Worst? Liver--I couldn't get past the first bite!
8. What's the best holiday? Christmas
Worst? I can't think of a worst holiday. Maybe Valentine's Day. It's about love, but what if you don't have a significant other? It's also about spending a lot on cards, candy and flowers
9. What's the best thing in your future? Hope
Worst? The economy!
1. Which doughnut shop do you prefer: Dunkin’ Donuts, Krispy Kreme, or a different store? I prefer Krispy Kreme slightly over Dunkin' Donuts. There's something about the taste that's different and Krispy Kreme is more appealing.
2. Do you prefer your doughnuts hot, room temperature or cool? Room temperature
3. Take the quiz: What Donut Are You?
You Are a Boston Creme Donut |
 You have a tough exterior. No one wants to mess with you. But on the inside, you're a total pushover and completely soft. You're a traditionalist, and you don't change easily. You're likely to eat the same doughnut every morning, and you pout if it's sold out. |
4. How do you usually spell it: doughnut or donut? Donut
5. Do you prefer cake-style or glazed? Glazed
6. Do you prefer frosted, creme-filled or plain? Frosted
That first meme got me thinking about all the things I did before Facebook. I'm thinking I should devote less time to the computer and more to friends and family. So I called my mom on TTY to see how she's doing. She told me she was busy doing laundry (hint, hint, get off the phone). I asked if she'd rather I call another time and she said yes, because she also had to get ready to make her dinner. It was 9 a.m. at the time. But who knows? Maybe an 82 year old woman needs that extra time. So I went back to Facebook. ;) Later, though, I'm hoping off to read a book, ride my bike and spend some time with my kids! It's another beautiful day outside and I hope everyone else enjoys their weekend!
Sunday, May 29
When medication quits working
A big part of my arsenal in my "war" with depression is the medication. The other part is self talk and support but when the medication fails, sometimes the other things aren't enough. I noticed I wasn't feeling very well over the winter months but I figured that was just all the stress that's always there.
As soon as the spring semester started, I immediately felt overwhelmed and tired or sleepy all the time. I didn't look forward to going to classes and two of them most related to my education major! I looked at all the work that was expected and wondered if I could do it. TB was so encouraging and supportive. I didn't feel reassured however.
I felt dread about going to class. I felt sad and overwhelmed and all I wanted to do was just stay in bed. Luckily I'd learned some of the self talk over the years to cope with a bout of depression and I just kept getting up. I also talked to my doctor about what was going on and told him I felt so overwhelmed I just wanted to quit.
He said my anti-depressant must have stopped working and wanted to add another, wellbutrin. He said it worked on a different receptor than the Prozac and hopefully the two together would work to make me feel better. I figured I'd give it a try. One of the psychiatrists I saw over the years explained that my depression is biological and that the medication for it is like insulin for diabetes.
Now what I'd say to myself was, it takes a month for the medication to kick in. Just keep going until then I'd also tell myself see how your grades are after the midterm and then decide. Well, I got all A's so poor grades was not going to be a reason to quit! TB was also still encouraging and supporting me so I struggled through some tough weeks but stuck it out.
Not long after the midterms, my mood began to lighten up and I didn't feel so wrung out and hopeless. The medication finally started working. I made it to the end of the semester and am so glad I hung in and didn't quit. The struggle was worth it.
As soon as the spring semester started, I immediately felt overwhelmed and tired or sleepy all the time. I didn't look forward to going to classes and two of them most related to my education major! I looked at all the work that was expected and wondered if I could do it. TB was so encouraging and supportive. I didn't feel reassured however.
I felt dread about going to class. I felt sad and overwhelmed and all I wanted to do was just stay in bed. Luckily I'd learned some of the self talk over the years to cope with a bout of depression and I just kept getting up. I also talked to my doctor about what was going on and told him I felt so overwhelmed I just wanted to quit.
He said my anti-depressant must have stopped working and wanted to add another, wellbutrin. He said it worked on a different receptor than the Prozac and hopefully the two together would work to make me feel better. I figured I'd give it a try. One of the psychiatrists I saw over the years explained that my depression is biological and that the medication for it is like insulin for diabetes.
Now what I'd say to myself was, it takes a month for the medication to kick in. Just keep going until then I'd also tell myself see how your grades are after the midterm and then decide. Well, I got all A's so poor grades was not going to be a reason to quit! TB was also still encouraging and supporting me so I struggled through some tough weeks but stuck it out.
Not long after the midterms, my mood began to lighten up and I didn't feel so wrung out and hopeless. The medication finally started working. I made it to the end of the semester and am so glad I hung in and didn't quit. The struggle was worth it.
Thursday, May 26
The long road to graduation
I did it! I finally graduated on May 21, 2011. It only took some thirty odd years! :D
I didn't go to college when I graduated high school in 1973. I was under the impression my parents couldn't afford to help me out and I didn't qualify for financial aid nor did I win any scholarships. I decided I would work and save up the money to go. We all know how that goes. ;)
Almost two years later, I was going to a church for the Deaf and the pastor there took an interest in me, deciding I really should be in college. There was a big crisis between my parents and I left home. I rented myself an apartment in the city but was only there a few months when the pastor decided I should move in with him, his wife and mother.
The pastor wanted me to go to school so I reapplied for financial aid and to the local university. This time, I got the aid and it was enough to pay for my tuition and books. It was a new, intimidating and totally confusing experience for me to go down and try to make a schedule. When I was done, though, I felt great.
About a month into this, the pastor was accused of misappropriating funds. He plotted a counterattack against the treasure, making up a bunch of lies to spread around. I happened to overhear and was horrified. The pastor tried justifying it all to me and I just kept saying, "But it's not true!" I felt totally betrayed--this was a man of God trying to destroy the reputation of another based on lies. The pastor called me a Judas and I knew I had to get out of there.
I probably could have rented myself a room and continued on but I spiralled into this depression, hurt, angry, disillusioned and sad. I just stopped going to classes. First I lived with a roommate in Baltimore City and went to work. I was offered a better job in Washington D.C. My parents were living nearby and asked me to join them so I could save more money for college. I agreed but that was a mistake.
By 1978, I'd saved enough money to take a couple of classes and reapplied to the same university (different campus). I enjoyed the classes so much! I was into the second year when my mom went on a drunken rampage and chased me from the apartment with an ice pick. That was in the middle of a semester and instead of renting a room somewhere and muddling through, I just sort of collapsed and became depressed again.
Then I started again in 1994. By then, I was married to a wonderful man and had my three beautiful children. Rich encouraged me to try again and so I did. I almost finished, too. I was stymied by geometry and an unexpected move to New York. Once we got to New York, I figured I could finish up somewhere...but Rich died. The early bouts with depression was a tap dance compared to the way I felt then. I've learned that fibromyalgia can develop from trauma and I am sure that's when my symptoms started.
Fast forward to 2010. I never thought I would ever find love again but a miracle occurred and I met and married TB. When I started talking about finishing my degree, he was completely supportive and has been there for me throughout. I had another bout of depression this spring and he is one of the reasons I didn't give up and drop out again.
So on May 21, I graduated with an AA in education, with "highest honors"--a GPA of 3.9 overall in all those classes over the years. It feels good to be able to say "I did it!"
I didn't go to college when I graduated high school in 1973. I was under the impression my parents couldn't afford to help me out and I didn't qualify for financial aid nor did I win any scholarships. I decided I would work and save up the money to go. We all know how that goes. ;)
Almost two years later, I was going to a church for the Deaf and the pastor there took an interest in me, deciding I really should be in college. There was a big crisis between my parents and I left home. I rented myself an apartment in the city but was only there a few months when the pastor decided I should move in with him, his wife and mother.
The pastor wanted me to go to school so I reapplied for financial aid and to the local university. This time, I got the aid and it was enough to pay for my tuition and books. It was a new, intimidating and totally confusing experience for me to go down and try to make a schedule. When I was done, though, I felt great.
About a month into this, the pastor was accused of misappropriating funds. He plotted a counterattack against the treasure, making up a bunch of lies to spread around. I happened to overhear and was horrified. The pastor tried justifying it all to me and I just kept saying, "But it's not true!" I felt totally betrayed--this was a man of God trying to destroy the reputation of another based on lies. The pastor called me a Judas and I knew I had to get out of there.
I probably could have rented myself a room and continued on but I spiralled into this depression, hurt, angry, disillusioned and sad. I just stopped going to classes. First I lived with a roommate in Baltimore City and went to work. I was offered a better job in Washington D.C. My parents were living nearby and asked me to join them so I could save more money for college. I agreed but that was a mistake.
By 1978, I'd saved enough money to take a couple of classes and reapplied to the same university (different campus). I enjoyed the classes so much! I was into the second year when my mom went on a drunken rampage and chased me from the apartment with an ice pick. That was in the middle of a semester and instead of renting a room somewhere and muddling through, I just sort of collapsed and became depressed again.
Then I started again in 1994. By then, I was married to a wonderful man and had my three beautiful children. Rich encouraged me to try again and so I did. I almost finished, too. I was stymied by geometry and an unexpected move to New York. Once we got to New York, I figured I could finish up somewhere...but Rich died. The early bouts with depression was a tap dance compared to the way I felt then. I've learned that fibromyalgia can develop from trauma and I am sure that's when my symptoms started.
Fast forward to 2010. I never thought I would ever find love again but a miracle occurred and I met and married TB. When I started talking about finishing my degree, he was completely supportive and has been there for me throughout. I had another bout of depression this spring and he is one of the reasons I didn't give up and drop out again.
So on May 21, I graduated with an AA in education, with "highest honors"--a GPA of 3.9 overall in all those classes over the years. It feels good to be able to say "I did it!"
Friday, December 31
Trying to catch up
I knew I hadn't updated in ages but hadn't realized how long it's been!
Going back to school ended up being much more demanding than I thought but it was worth it. I still feel wiped out though!
Finals began December 15th. I found out all my grades right before Christmas and it was a very nice gift! I earned 4 A's and a B+. A couple of things I learned: I'm not too old to go back to school and can retain information in my brain most of the time. I still have my fibro days but there weren't enough of them to throw me off completely. Another thing I learned is that I can still write stories well. My instructor wanted me to try and get one of them published so that's something I want to work on for the New Year. I learned I can sort of teach myself when I have an instructor who's very disorganized. Most of all, I felt challenged and stimulated by these classes.
From finals, I went right to trying to prep for Christmas. I didn't have much time to devote to decorating or cards or baking or wrapping or any of that stuff while school was going on. If I thought I was going to be able to sit back and relax after finals, I was sure wrong! I probably could have let go of some of these things--like Christmas cards--but I just wasn't ready to do that and so I didn't.
Now, though, I sort of feel like a popped balloon. I keep telling myself there's things I should be doing but my body and brain are saying "uh uh". I decided to listen to my body and that part of my brain saying "uh uh" and am just resting. I read a little, I nap a lot and I just have been "vegging out" since Christmas.
The new semester starts in about three weeks. My batteries should be recharged by then.
TB's been suffering a lot and I worry about him. The pain meds don't seem to be helping very well. He has this issue with his hip now. He needs a shot using a fluoroscopic machine. We were supposed to go on the 27th but then there was this massive snow storm and so it was put off until January 3.
The doctors don't seem to be sure what's going on with his hip. An Xray seemed to show a foreign body (like a piece of arthritis) floating around. He had a CAT scan of his hip and one of the surgeons that looked at it thought he had a torn cartilage.
Why aren't they doing surgery to correct the problem? I don't get it. I don't get the explanation--that TB's baseline pain medical management and fibromyalgia makes the prognosis not hopeful. The surgeon wanted him to put up with the pain until he can't stand it anymore. Well...it's at that point now!
It looks like we're getting a loan modification after all from Bank of America. TB got the news over the phone just before Christmas but they've told us so many stories that I didn't believe it. I wanted to see it in writing and the paperwork just got here. We have a three month trial modification period starting in February. I am cautiously thrilled. I guess I still don't trust the bank and have heard other stories of the modification being cancelled capriciously. We'll see.
The three kids are still hanging in with us. They're all in school full time, working part time and right now not in a position to be able to live on their own.
The gang is doing great! Is the cold winter the reason they've all become extra snuggly lately?
So that's the major stuff that's been going on around here since I blogged last.
Best wishes for a happy and safe New Year!
Going back to school ended up being much more demanding than I thought but it was worth it. I still feel wiped out though!
Finals began December 15th. I found out all my grades right before Christmas and it was a very nice gift! I earned 4 A's and a B+. A couple of things I learned: I'm not too old to go back to school and can retain information in my brain most of the time. I still have my fibro days but there weren't enough of them to throw me off completely. Another thing I learned is that I can still write stories well. My instructor wanted me to try and get one of them published so that's something I want to work on for the New Year. I learned I can sort of teach myself when I have an instructor who's very disorganized. Most of all, I felt challenged and stimulated by these classes.
From finals, I went right to trying to prep for Christmas. I didn't have much time to devote to decorating or cards or baking or wrapping or any of that stuff while school was going on. If I thought I was going to be able to sit back and relax after finals, I was sure wrong! I probably could have let go of some of these things--like Christmas cards--but I just wasn't ready to do that and so I didn't.
Now, though, I sort of feel like a popped balloon. I keep telling myself there's things I should be doing but my body and brain are saying "uh uh". I decided to listen to my body and that part of my brain saying "uh uh" and am just resting. I read a little, I nap a lot and I just have been "vegging out" since Christmas.
The new semester starts in about three weeks. My batteries should be recharged by then.
TB's been suffering a lot and I worry about him. The pain meds don't seem to be helping very well. He has this issue with his hip now. He needs a shot using a fluoroscopic machine. We were supposed to go on the 27th but then there was this massive snow storm and so it was put off until January 3.
The doctors don't seem to be sure what's going on with his hip. An Xray seemed to show a foreign body (like a piece of arthritis) floating around. He had a CAT scan of his hip and one of the surgeons that looked at it thought he had a torn cartilage.
Why aren't they doing surgery to correct the problem? I don't get it. I don't get the explanation--that TB's baseline pain medical management and fibromyalgia makes the prognosis not hopeful. The surgeon wanted him to put up with the pain until he can't stand it anymore. Well...it's at that point now!
It looks like we're getting a loan modification after all from Bank of America. TB got the news over the phone just before Christmas but they've told us so many stories that I didn't believe it. I wanted to see it in writing and the paperwork just got here. We have a three month trial modification period starting in February. I am cautiously thrilled. I guess I still don't trust the bank and have heard other stories of the modification being cancelled capriciously. We'll see.
The three kids are still hanging in with us. They're all in school full time, working part time and right now not in a position to be able to live on their own.
The gang is doing great! Is the cold winter the reason they've all become extra snuggly lately?
So that's the major stuff that's been going on around here since I blogged last.
Best wishes for a happy and safe New Year!
Sunday, September 19
167
1. Some greeting cards with a flair for wording. Today is daughter Heidi's birthday and I looked for a card with a special message. I found one that said what I truly think and feel and was very happy with it.
2. AAA. What a blessing they are! AAA is something I rarely think about (thank goodness!) but when you need them, they're there in a reasonable amount of time. Today our tire blew out. TB was in no shape to be changing a tire and we've been members of AAA for years now. Someone came right out and changed our flat so we could get back on our way. It costs us dearly but it's definitely worth it!
3. Eighty degrees in September doesn't feel like 80 in August. There's been wondering cool breezes to make the heat bearable. The air's been off for over a week now.
4. Wawa coffee! It's rejuvenating when I'm droopy.
5. I did well on my first two quizzes. That's encouraging but the real litmus is the upcoming tests!
6. We saw and played with Little T for the first time since before I started school. We'd been missing him and it's always a joy to be around him!
2. AAA. What a blessing they are! AAA is something I rarely think about (thank goodness!) but when you need them, they're there in a reasonable amount of time. Today our tire blew out. TB was in no shape to be changing a tire and we've been members of AAA for years now. Someone came right out and changed our flat so we could get back on our way. It costs us dearly but it's definitely worth it!
3. Eighty degrees in September doesn't feel like 80 in August. There's been wondering cool breezes to make the heat bearable. The air's been off for over a week now.
4. Wawa coffee! It's rejuvenating when I'm droopy.
5. I did well on my first two quizzes. That's encouraging but the real litmus is the upcoming tests!
6. We saw and played with Little T for the first time since before I started school. We'd been missing him and it's always a joy to be around him!
Thursday, September 16
GiST 166
Boy, I haven't done one of these in ages!
1. GPS in phones! This morning we had to go to PA because TB needed a shot in his hip to relieve the extreme pain he's been in from that area. We'd printed out directions from google maps but, for the first time, they were flat out wrong and we got lost. TB drove and drove, cursing the doctor and his stupid new location for shots. Finally he used his phone GPS to plug in our current location and was able to navigate us successfully to the surgery center! Going home was another nightmare as we had no idea where we were but eventually found our way back to NJ because TB used the GPS in his phone.
2. I went with TB in this early morning adventure and it was good because he couldn't drive home.
3. Super Wawas along the way. They have hot cawfee and rest rooms!
4. The clinic has a bariatric center so the chairs were larger sized. Don't you hate waiting rooms with skinny little seats all squooshed together?
5. Easy access to my son when I have a question about science. The teacher's been hitting chemistry hard and it's all so confusing. I haven't had chemistry in years and hardly remember any of this stuff. The instructor charges on a mile a minute. Even the other students are confused. Luckily, though, I can ask my son a question and get him to explain concepts to me practically around the clock!
1. GPS in phones! This morning we had to go to PA because TB needed a shot in his hip to relieve the extreme pain he's been in from that area. We'd printed out directions from google maps but, for the first time, they were flat out wrong and we got lost. TB drove and drove, cursing the doctor and his stupid new location for shots. Finally he used his phone GPS to plug in our current location and was able to navigate us successfully to the surgery center! Going home was another nightmare as we had no idea where we were but eventually found our way back to NJ because TB used the GPS in his phone.
2. I went with TB in this early morning adventure and it was good because he couldn't drive home.
3. Super Wawas along the way. They have hot cawfee and rest rooms!
4. The clinic has a bariatric center so the chairs were larger sized. Don't you hate waiting rooms with skinny little seats all squooshed together?
5. Easy access to my son when I have a question about science. The teacher's been hitting chemistry hard and it's all so confusing. I haven't had chemistry in years and hardly remember any of this stuff. The instructor charges on a mile a minute. Even the other students are confused. Luckily, though, I can ask my son a question and get him to explain concepts to me practically around the clock!
Friday, September 3
Feline Friday and other ramblings
Ever take a picture of your black cat only to realize you couldn't see his or her face? Here's Indigo. I can barely see one eye and can just make out her other eye, nose and mouth in the first picture. Can you? I'm posting the second one to show her very pretty face!
Want more Feline Friday and cat blogging? Check out Blogging Cat Noos for all the latest!
So Hurricane Earl is supposed to skirt by us today. It's cloudy right now and maybe we'll get some rain later. One of my classes was cancelled today and I'm a little annoyed about that. Either the teacher wanted to go away for the weekend or was scared off by Earl ... or maybe something else. She didn't have a syllabus for us on Wednesday and was late to boot. We didn't go over anything that day in fact and I was hoping we'd get some material covered before my lab meets again Wednesday. No such luck.
Today I found out there's an Education club and expressed an interest in joining.
Kristin and I went to the wellness center and worked out for a little while. It's very small--only two stationary bikes and three treadmills, two of which work. We'll probably use it while the weather is hot and then just go for campus walks when the weather's cooler.
Tonight I have Deaf Culture class. I'm looking forward to that one and haven't decided whether or not I'll reveal (tonight) that my parents are/were Deaf.
1. Casablanca
2. Forrest Gump
3. To Kill A Mockingbird
4. Parenthood
5. West Side Story
6. The Sound of Music
7. It's A Wonderful Life
8. Arsenic and Old Lace
9. Harvey
10. Miracle on 34th Street
These are all movies I can watch over and over, and I never tire of them!
Wednesday, September 1
First day of class for the women folk!
College started for my daughters and me this morning. This was a first for the youngest and she was excited. Apparently so was I because I woke up at 4:30 and couldn't get back to sleep! My older daughter isn't here because she's got a class now on one of the campuses.
So this is the first time I'm back in a classroom in over 10 years. I didn't quite finish my associate's because I got hung up on geometry. Thankfully, I don't need to have taken it to get my associate's here. I only needed algebra and I passed that with an A.
My classes today: college math and earth science (and lab). I think I will like all three of the classes and there are even 2 mature students (meaning older, like me) in the science class.
Two of the teachers had a rough start. Our math teacher didn't have any of her hand outs because of some kind of moving crisis. Our science teacher didn't have a syllabus or any handouts because who ever is doing the xeroxing is totally backed up. The science teacher was also late because she was given the wrong room and apparently didn't realize we're also meeting on Friday.
In the lab, we reviewed information about latitude and longitude. Sigh. In the good old days, teachers released us early on the first day of class to get our books. Not anymore! Now everyone wants to keep you until the last minute.
I had ten minutes to get from class to class and no time to eat today. That'll only happen on Wednesdays. On Mondays and Fridays I'll have a two hour break between math and science to eat lunch and go for a walk.
Would you eat a bowl of live crickets for $40,000? Explain why or why not? Yes, I would although I'd try to hold out for as much money as possible. Think of all the things I could do with $40,000! If the kids were out of school, that would be plenty to put down on a smaller house for TB and me. If not that, it would buy us a brand new car. If not that, we could have a lavish vacation cruise and another vacation somewhere else. That money sure would come in handy! Make me a legitimate offer and I'll eat those darn things all right!
Between the ages of 5 and 10, what was your favorite activity? I would say playing outdoor games with friends and cousins. I remember one game I played with neighbors and my friends on the next street. It was based on the TV series Combat and I had to play Sergeant Saunders. I had something of a crush on the actor, Vic Morrow, and I was a real tomboy so I could play the part. We also played other games of war and then I always wanted to be a John Wayne character. Other fun games included tag, freeze tag, Red Rover, Mother May I, Red Light Green Light, and many more. I can't remember the names of all the games I played as a child. Bring back the good old days!
Where do you keep it the rest of the year? Write about something that comes out of storage whenever a certain holiday rolls around. That would be our Christmas decorations! They are kept packed in boxes and those boxes are stored in our attic until the day after Thanksgiving. Then it's time to bring them out and decorate the house! We enjoy the decorations for six weeks and then it's time to pack them up again!
So this is the first time I'm back in a classroom in over 10 years. I didn't quite finish my associate's because I got hung up on geometry. Thankfully, I don't need to have taken it to get my associate's here. I only needed algebra and I passed that with an A.
My classes today: college math and earth science (and lab). I think I will like all three of the classes and there are even 2 mature students (meaning older, like me) in the science class.
Two of the teachers had a rough start. Our math teacher didn't have any of her hand outs because of some kind of moving crisis. Our science teacher didn't have a syllabus or any handouts because who ever is doing the xeroxing is totally backed up. The science teacher was also late because she was given the wrong room and apparently didn't realize we're also meeting on Friday.
In the lab, we reviewed information about latitude and longitude. Sigh. In the good old days, teachers released us early on the first day of class to get our books. Not anymore! Now everyone wants to keep you until the last minute.
I had ten minutes to get from class to class and no time to eat today. That'll only happen on Wednesdays. On Mondays and Fridays I'll have a two hour break between math and science to eat lunch and go for a walk.
Would you eat a bowl of live crickets for $40,000? Explain why or why not? Yes, I would although I'd try to hold out for as much money as possible. Think of all the things I could do with $40,000! If the kids were out of school, that would be plenty to put down on a smaller house for TB and me. If not that, it would buy us a brand new car. If not that, we could have a lavish vacation cruise and another vacation somewhere else. That money sure would come in handy! Make me a legitimate offer and I'll eat those darn things all right!
Between the ages of 5 and 10, what was your favorite activity? I would say playing outdoor games with friends and cousins. I remember one game I played with neighbors and my friends on the next street. It was based on the TV series Combat and I had to play Sergeant Saunders. I had something of a crush on the actor, Vic Morrow, and I was a real tomboy so I could play the part. We also played other games of war and then I always wanted to be a John Wayne character. Other fun games included tag, freeze tag, Red Rover, Mother May I, Red Light Green Light, and many more. I can't remember the names of all the games I played as a child. Bring back the good old days!
Where do you keep it the rest of the year? Write about something that comes out of storage whenever a certain holiday rolls around. That would be our Christmas decorations! They are kept packed in boxes and those boxes are stored in our attic until the day after Thanksgiving. Then it's time to bring them out and decorate the house! We enjoy the decorations for six weeks and then it's time to pack them up again!
Tuesday, August 31
Tuesday Thoughts
“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.” — Jane Howard
This is a timely quote for me. I’m at a peculiar stage in my life. All my kids are pretty much grown and are young adults. All still live at home with us partly for convenience (they’re still in school) and partly out of financial necessity. Young adults, though, don’t want to be children. No matter what and no matter how old they are, as long as they live at home they’re pretty much viewed as tall children. That can cause a lot of conflict.
When I was younger, my father would tell me that mother birds would have to push their young out of the nest so they could fly away. That always sounded so cold and cruel and I didn’t understand the concept. Now I do! My peculiar stage comes from realizing my baby birds need to fly away soon and build their own nests.
At the same time, though, I would be lost without my kids. Even when they are away one their own, I know I’ll always need them and to have them in my life. Thank heavens for cell phones and computers if distance is an issue!
Needing family goes beyond immediate relatives like parents, children and spouse. I have a brother that I don’t see or talk to very often but I need him in my life, not only for the person he is but for the connection I have with him throughout my life. My mother is a dysfunctional person and I’ve felt that lack of connection throughout my life. It continues to be a problem for me.
Families give you a sense of identity and a way to belong. You get part of who you are from your family, good or bad. That’s why you need them!
My favorite sport is ... bowling. I started bowling when I was in elementary school. There was a summer league in Baltimore that provided transportation to the bowling alley. My parents signed my brother and me up for it to give us something to do and we ended up loving it! The first league was a duckpin league. Duckpins are different than ten pins in that the pins are half the size and the balls fit in the palm of your hand. It might seem easier to do duckpins but it’s actually harder to control the ball.
When I got into junior high school, my brother and I switched to a ten pin league. For a couple of years, we bowled on a team with a neighbor friend. I participated in tournaments and that was a lot of fun.
As a young adult, I bowled on leagues for several years and usually served as the secretary. I enjoyed the responsibility of typing up team and individual stats and averages.
I stopped bowling because of the arthritis and injuries in my hands. The ball became too heavy to hold—even a 10 lb. ball. There’s no duck pin lanes around here. Oh well.
If I could be any age, what would it be -- list 10 reasons why
If I could know what I know now I would be 30 again because:
1. I would have a better chance at being employable after getting my degree
2. I would be in better physical shape
3. If I had the wisdom I had now, I definitely would be focusing more on my writing talents
4. I wouldn’t suffer from middle age brain like I do now
5. I would have more stamina
6. I would address the overuse symptoms in my hands right away
7. I would be able to do more things because of better stamina and better physical condition
8. I think it would be easier to deal with the loose skin from weight loss if I was younger
9. I could bowl again!
10. My reflexes would be quicker
This is a timely quote for me. I’m at a peculiar stage in my life. All my kids are pretty much grown and are young adults. All still live at home with us partly for convenience (they’re still in school) and partly out of financial necessity. Young adults, though, don’t want to be children. No matter what and no matter how old they are, as long as they live at home they’re pretty much viewed as tall children. That can cause a lot of conflict.
When I was younger, my father would tell me that mother birds would have to push their young out of the nest so they could fly away. That always sounded so cold and cruel and I didn’t understand the concept. Now I do! My peculiar stage comes from realizing my baby birds need to fly away soon and build their own nests.
At the same time, though, I would be lost without my kids. Even when they are away one their own, I know I’ll always need them and to have them in my life. Thank heavens for cell phones and computers if distance is an issue!
Needing family goes beyond immediate relatives like parents, children and spouse. I have a brother that I don’t see or talk to very often but I need him in my life, not only for the person he is but for the connection I have with him throughout my life. My mother is a dysfunctional person and I’ve felt that lack of connection throughout my life. It continues to be a problem for me.
Families give you a sense of identity and a way to belong. You get part of who you are from your family, good or bad. That’s why you need them!
My favorite sport is ... bowling. I started bowling when I was in elementary school. There was a summer league in Baltimore that provided transportation to the bowling alley. My parents signed my brother and me up for it to give us something to do and we ended up loving it! The first league was a duckpin league. Duckpins are different than ten pins in that the pins are half the size and the balls fit in the palm of your hand. It might seem easier to do duckpins but it’s actually harder to control the ball.
When I got into junior high school, my brother and I switched to a ten pin league. For a couple of years, we bowled on a team with a neighbor friend. I participated in tournaments and that was a lot of fun.
As a young adult, I bowled on leagues for several years and usually served as the secretary. I enjoyed the responsibility of typing up team and individual stats and averages.
I stopped bowling because of the arthritis and injuries in my hands. The ball became too heavy to hold—even a 10 lb. ball. There’s no duck pin lanes around here. Oh well.
If I could know what I know now I would be 30 again because:
1. I would have a better chance at being employable after getting my degree
2. I would be in better physical shape
3. If I had the wisdom I had now, I definitely would be focusing more on my writing talents
4. I wouldn’t suffer from middle age brain like I do now
5. I would have more stamina
6. I would address the overuse symptoms in my hands right away
7. I would be able to do more things because of better stamina and better physical condition
8. I think it would be easier to deal with the loose skin from weight loss if I was younger
9. I could bowl again!
10. My reflexes would be quicker
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