Polish Festival in Weston, Missouri!

I went with a friend last weekend to the festival in Weston, Missouri.  There was a band playing Polish music, lots of Polish food for sale, Polish outfits and almost every sort of trinket from Poland you could imagine.  These bunnies are Polish pottery cookie jars.

Honey pots with little drizzlers.

Um... can you tell that Kansas City has a bit of an unhealthy obsession with Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs?

One of the shops downtown had works from several metalworking artists as well as some stained glass. 

Here's what I bought.  A giant bowl with bunnies. I love bunnies!

And my mug.  It was a great day!

 

After a Little Help.

"Oh, no, you just want my picture on the blog and that will embarrass me!"  But he conceded that the embarrassment is worth about $1.50 and so here you go. Emperor says he wants YOU to send money to him right now as well.

Is This How I Wear My Hat? I Think So.

And he's serious.  And he says it with such a straight face.  And see how he's perplexed as to why I said, "Awwww!" and took his picture.  Awwww!  Notice the little narrowed "why are you documenting this" eyes.  I don't know how to put it, but Emperor is so straightforward and serious that he is creative without realizing it.

Today's Events!

The Keebler Elf makes sugar cookies!

Make and do battle with duct tape and cardboard weaponry!

Lazy Mom's gingerbread houses:  graham crackers, a tub of frosting and some sprinkles.

Homeschool House Tour!

Do you know how long it took me to get everyone reasonably quiet, shoot 5 minutes' worth of video, and upload it to youtube?  A fair while, I'll tell you that!  I hope you enjoy it.  I wasn't as brave as Blondee, posting a vlog about myself, but this is more interesting anyway.

A Trip.

Emperor and I are leaving. Friendly contest time. Prize is probably a postcard or something small I get there, and you can send me your address later if you "win." Not sure what's available in the hotel shop so I don't want to promise anything specific.

So where are we going? That's the contest. You tell me. Annnnd you have to be exact. Let's see if you can do it. Closest wins. I get to decide which entry is closest. Ready?? Here are some hints:

sunflower state

not closed

OK!!! I've practically TOLD YOU where we're going, so you have to be exact in your comments. Feel free to google away and good luck!

PS. In the event of more than one correct guess, names will be written on scraps of paper and tossed into a room where Woodjie is playing. The one he picks up first is the *winner!*

What's His REAL Name?

"MIKE!! It on a wall!" screamed Rose, jumping and pointing. Woodjie came over to look at whatever "Mike" is. I'm in the middle of bagging poopie diapers (ugh), rounding up dirty laundry and reallllly looking forward to washing my hands. With soap. You just can't stop in the middle of a job like that. It would be too hard to get back into, you see...

"Ee MIKE!" Woodjie starts to scream. They both start hopping about and screaming. "Mike! Momma, Mike! MIKE! Mike Mike Mike Mike Mike! MIIIIKE! IT ON A WALLLLL!! WOOK!"

I'm thinking, great, they're naming spiders and I'm way too busy to kill them at the present moment. Bleh... poopies tossed into garage trash, clothes thrown next to washer two floors down, run upstairs and ahhhh water time. And grab a shoe.

"OK, where's this 'Mike?'"

"WOOK!" Woodjie points to a little green scratch on the brown wall. "MIKE!"

Siiigh. "His name is MARK, Woodjie. There is a Mark on the wall."

"Ee MIKE. Wight dere," Woodjie insisted. Well, ok. I have trouble remembering names, too. I guess he's Mike now.

Stolen From Facebook!

Yep, on with the joke. But first, a word from our sponsor. Emperor went through the temperature-taking, hot compresses, baking soda and band-aid routine until yesterday when he...

Reacted badly to Band-Aid tape! Yes, he did!

SO, he had a big mucky red mess with trackmarks all over his arm and then... then... to top it all off the rash spread up his arm. Doctor says it's a fungal infection of some kind (didn't specify what) and has prescribed a cream! So all y'all who said "ringworm" get the special "I told you so" prize. In case you were wondering, the prize is that you can say, "I told you so!" in the comment section. :)

In other news, Emperor has lost four pounds. The doctor is unconcerned. Um. I didn't think tiny people were supposed to lose weight like that but ok. I told the doctor he gets fed well and I didn't understand it. OF COURSE Emperor then complains about not having enough time for seconds at the breakfast table. He is WORRIED about getting behind in math. Bah. Way to make Mom look like a slave-drivin' crazy person, but *whateva.*

And now... the offensive joke from facebook! Stolen from a friend!

"What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovah's Witness?" (Go ahead and guess. Hmmm...)

"Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason."

Yeah, ok, that was mildly funny. But did it make you mad? Fuming? Feeling like you want to write something all snotty on the jokester's wall? Would you write this:

"Now as an ahrteist i am offended by that prejudice, got any comments for that christians???? (Writer of Joke Name) knows i have some very offensive language for u all prejudice people, enjoy what u choose be supportive of one another and don't hurt anyone even Atheist's!!!"

OK. That was a serious comment. So I'm laughing at the dopey-ness (dopiness? facebook people confuse my spelling after a time) of it all. One of those things I would have just ignored and maybe deleted later. Or deleted the "friend." But no. The original writer responds, "(Offended Person Name), Sorry, but why are you offended ? It's not like I attacked your faith. Right?"

And then in a not-so-funny turn of events, other folks join the pig pile. (Offended Person), On what moral grounds do you condem this joke? Accordin to atheism, there is no moral law giver, thus no moral law, thus no basis for decrying this "offensive" joke Huh. I thought there were no absolutes, turns out there is a line for everyone. I would say (Offended Person) is justified but that would make no sense without justice, an absolute. Sorry.

???

Moral lesson: don't make fun of religions that don't exist. Anyway, I *guess* that is the moral lesson. :)

When I Get Bigger/ Become an Adult

(A Guest Post by Not Mercer Mayer)

When I become an adult, I'll be able to do lots of things. I will be able to drive my car whenever I want. (Oh. I will somehow magically get money for this car. And the insurance. And the gas.)

I will have lots of free time on my hands. No one will tell me what to do with my time ever again! Especially when I am a parent. I will make money off my kids (lots of it!) when they make mistakes and have to pay for something they broke or that kind of thing. I will say that it teaches them responsibility, but really, I will have my kids wipe up the kitchen table and do odd jobs because I am too lazy to do them myself.

I will be able to make calls on my very own cell phone, use my very own laptop and take pictures with my very own camera! I will be able to blog about my own experiences and I will be able to say whatever I want with no repercussions. There never are any of those when you are an adult. I think that's in the First Amendment.

I will have a great job and get an apartment. My money troubles will be over!

But right now I have to log off... because Mom and Dad say... I'm not seeing reality yet.

(Thank youuu thank youuu thank youuu. Anyone want to illustrate this book?)

Super Mario Cupcakes!

G is now 16 years old, and the proud owner of Pokemon Black. We made cupcakes for the occasion using Elf's very own new muffin tin. He bought it at the homeschooling convention last weekend. We tried this idea for Super Mario mushrooms, but it IS pretty hard to decorate cupcakes with just one working arm. G had plenty of pizza on his special day, and will have his cast removed in a week and a half.

Woodjie's Birthday

Woodjie turned four recently and got to eat Burger King for dinner. We spent over $70 on the food! He's been running about and being busy all day. He's helped his father make puppies happy on the computer. He opened up a "you ee full" package with Lightning McQueen and his buddies. Little Rose was a bit jealous of the attention and present- OPENING, but never had a fit about the presents themselves and the fact that she never got any. I guess they have learned that they must share everything, and they did. Quite nicely. Most of the time. Woodjie has had several new things to say just out of the blue such as "Careful!" and "See you later!" and "Wook. A diya- saur." I don't remember his learning what a dinosaur was or how to tell people to be careful. He'd been exposed to it about a zillion times and now finally - out of nowhere - strange words are starting to pop out of his little mouth. He doesn't get when we are finished with something fun. The answer to that is, "No. You don't do that!" and you'll get an angry pointing at.

Trivia Question Answer!

"The Worm of the Still," referring to the coil on a still.  I had to read the passage over several times before I "got" it myself, because I had read it as a literal reptile. 

Maybe this one was too hard.  Keep in mind that McGuffey Readers were public school textbooks, so I suppose this would qualify as an olde-fashioned "health" class warning of the dangers of drink.  Ah, well.  It seems a weeee mite overexaggerated, but least they didn't try to put a condom on a banana. :)

The Venomous Worm.

From McGuffey's Fifth Eclectic Reader.  Guess the name given to this animal by the author.  I'll publish the results Thursday morning.  This one's harder.  Let's see if anyone comes close!

**

Who has not heard of the rattlesnake or copperhead?  An unexpected sight of either of these reptiles will make even the lords of creation recoil; but there is a species of worm, found in various parts of this country, which conveys a poison of a nature so deadly that, compared with it, even the venom of the rattlesnake is harmless.  To guard our readers against this foe of human kind is the object of this lesson.

This worm varies much in size.  It is frequently an inch in diameter, but, as it is rarely seen except when coiled, its length can hardly be conjectured.  It is of a dull lead color, and generally lives near a spring or small stream of water, and bites the unfortunate people who are in the habit of going there to drink.  The brute creation it never molests.  They avoid it with the same instinct that teaches the animals of India to shun the deadly cobra.

Several of these reptiles have long infested our settlements, to the misery and destruction of many of our fellow-citizens.  I have, therefore, had frequent opportunities of being the melancholy spectator of the effects produced by the subtile poison which this worm infuses.

The symptoms of its bite are terrible.  The eyes of the patient become red and fiery, his tongue swells to an immoderate size, and obstructs his utterance; and delirium of the most horrid character quckly follows.  Sometimes, in his madness, he attempts the destruction of his nearest friends.

If the sufferer has a family, his weeping wife and helpless infants are not unfrequently the objects of his frantic fury.  In a word, he exhibits, to the life, all the detestable passions that rankle in the bosom of a savage; and such is the spell in which his senses are locked, that no sooner has the unhappy patient recovered from the paroxysm of insanity occasioned by the bite, than he seeks out the destroyer for the sole purpose of being bitten again.

I have seen a good old father, his locks as white as snow, his step slow and trembling, beg in vain of his only son to quit the lurking place of the worm.  My heart bled when he turned away; for I knew the fond hope that his son would be the "staff of his declining years," had supported him through many a sorrow.

Youths of America, would you know the name of this reptile?

Um... Is This REAL??

The guy who is "interested in most phases of data processing" actually looks very normal.  Most of the other guys are... kinda creepy.  I have to wonder if this is REALLY a 1980's montage of guys looking for dates.  Please tell me we weren't ALL that weird during that decade.  Please?

Summer Break!

That's right! I'm giving Elf and Emperor A WHOLE WEEK OFF to do whatever they want! After their mathematics is done. :)

School starts again on July 1 and follows a relaxed summer schedule. We'll start only some of our regular subjects. This includes our learning about Ancient Egypt. Later in the year, we'll do Rome and Greece. I have borrowed several books from the library and movies, too. Since I'm an HSLDA member and renewed for two years instead of one, I got the Drive Thru History DVD on Greece and Rome for free! Wa-hoo!

Patrick hasn't been doing much for his summer. He is now able to have a friend over every now and then. We had not been able to do this for quite some time.

Elf and Emperor got some crazy idea into their head, and now they are quite insistent that they are putting on a "circus" next Wednesday. I've seen their practices, and I can tell you that most people would ask for their money back. The acts consist of the children banging tamourines and various wooden instruments and screaming for the "music" portion. Then there is a puppet show. They changed Emperor's stuffed bunny's name from Jefferson, after our third president, to "Evil Experiment" so that they can scientifically test products on the poor rabbit for our amusement. It's sort of a Tom and Jerry-type slapstick, but still.

And they want popcorn. I keep wondering where they got this idea, and WHY they must insist upon it happening next Wednesday. They do odd things like that. For instance, EVERY November 2nd is "Polite Day," during which extreme efforts are made to be polite. That would be fine, except for the fact that they are a little overly helpful about correcting the impoliteness of others.

Finally I told them that I would make them some popcorn for the big day. They have made little ads and posters and are hoping to charge 10 cents admission. I told them this was a great idea... I will be charging 20 cents for the popcorn.

Bwa ha haaa. Ok, I won't. They were pretty doggone indignant about that idea, though.

Radical Unschooler Bible Verse of the Day

When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus. (Acts 4:13 NIV)

I thought that with all the posts about unschooling in the media and on the homeschool blogs of late, that I would go ahead and inform you that if it's good enough for Peter and John, it's good enough for your kids. I think Paul went to private school, though, and later had to be knocked off his high horse. He thought he was better than everyone else because he wore a tie and a pressed uniform. Thomas? He was a public schooler agnostic skeptic type. :)

Ducky Math!

I put a couple plastic ducks out to encourage the children to participate in the teaching time during math. When you think you know the answer to my question, pick up a duck, put it on your head and say, "Quack! Quack! Quack!" before letting me know the answer. Suddenly, I have some very eager math ducks on my hands. People who shout out the answer without saying "Quack! Quack! Quack!" get no credit. People who shout out the answer to the entire math problem, but not my QUESTION get no credit, either. Listen carefully! I might ask you what unit the problem is asking for, or how many quarts you STARTED with.

Star Trek Homeschooling.

When I first began homeschooling my little Elf, I thought that "homeschooling" was really all about teaching the kid to read and write. He may even learn to balance a checkbook eventually and fill out job applications and that sort of thing. I had no idea that I was doing it all wrong.

You see, I wasn't Thomas Jefferson homeschooling. Homeschooling on the Trivium. Classical homeschooling. Charlotte Mason homeschooling. Enki homeschooling. Anything you could imagine out there from "public schooling at home" - schooling to UNschooling. You need a special name to fit in here, folks.

And I'm just not fitting in anywhere here... so just for fun, I'm going to make up "Star Trek Homeschooling." Read along and decide which character suits you! We Star Trek Homeschoolers can't be a monolithic sort of group, you know. That's why it's called the Federation of Star Trek Homeschoolers when we get together for conventions each year. Not *all* of us wear the Vulcan ears or speak fluent Klingon, you know.

We'll start off with Red Shirt Homeschooling. I'm usually not one to tell parents what to do, but I do NOT think this is the sort of homeschooling you want to do. I know the guys in the Red Shirts appear frequently in the Star Trek episodes, but not for long. If you suspect that you are a Red Shirt Homeschooler, I would nix the interplanetary field trips for a while until you get more bridge experience and the viewers get attached to you.

Dr. McCoy Homeschooling: "Dammit, Jim, the school system is dead!" This is the "Party of NO" in homeschooling... we all know them. They're the homeschoolers who homeschool only because they think the system is bad or because they object to this or that. They're pretty ok people, really, and like Dr. McCoy, they have a lot of strong feelings about issues, unlike...

Spock Homeschooling. It's logical. It's ordered. It's great for large families because the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one, or the few. Big family moms get this concept, even if they don't speak it outright. They'll tell you that they love each child equally, and that each child gets 14.8 minutes of undivided attention each day... but... I'm thinking they're saying this because all the *other* moms keep saying this... and they don't want to be the oddball who says that it doesn't really work that way.

Uhura Homeschooling. Mostly because of the cool name. Uhura is smart, pretty, and she communicates well, but she can and will kick your butt if she is threatened. Don't mess with her.

"It's going to take me six YEARS to finish that curriculum, Captain! There's nae way I can do it by June!" Welcome to the world of Scotty Homeschooling! Study technical manuals in your spare time and make up crazy estimates for project due dates. Fun.

And finally, Captain Kirk homeschooling. Be adventurous in about any way you can imagine, and probably a few you can't. Go shirtless! Do things your way, because YOU are the Captain and you said so! Follow the Federation manual to the letter when it suits you and when it doesn't? How convenient that you were out of contact range with Headquarters when a major decision that affected the course of the entire universe had to be decided... My bad. But the Captain always does the right thing. And he gets to wear velour... mmm... velour.

Famous Australian Landmarks

Um... this one is worth your time. It will be a new favourite, especially for my Australian readers. I saw the link to this at Brenda's Family Revised blog.

Spongedad?

Spongebob is getting married to Sandy the Squirrel! It will be fun to watch how nicely Spongebob straps his kids into their carseats and gets a higher-paying job so that he can support his family.

Or maybe they'll be less traditional and Spongebob will stay home to homeschool the children on "how to drive a boat" while Sandy goes into the workaday world. "Hope he gets a prenup," one commenter quipped. "Someone stole half of my pineapple once and it wasn't a good feeling."