Police Blotter Comedy

Being a police officer is a high stress job. Every day, you and your loved ones never know if you're coming home alive or in a body bag. So it's no surprise to learn that a sense of humor can often maintain your sanity. The scary part about these is that these are not made up; they're actual, legit police blotters issued for various offenses

1. I'm Watching You

2. Double Trouble

3. "Planting" Evidence

4. Hot 'N' Cold

5. Squirrel-1, Human-0

6. Attack of the ducks

7. It's the mailman

8. Burrito Rescue

9. Help Wanted

10. Murder for Dummies

11. If this is in Florida....

12. What did the Canadians do to deserve this?

13. No words for this one...

14. Money for nothing

15. No pants, no service

16. Friend No More

17. Chicken pot pie to go

 

18. Naked on the Hood

19. A suspicious smell...

20. Role Model

21. Only in your worst nightmares

Well, this sucks!

Have you ever actually heard yourself say "Well, this sucks!" Here are some moments that will really have you saying this out loud!

Getting a head injury will really mess up your hand-eye coordination

When your laptop eats more of your food than you do

When the weather forecasters actually get it right on predictions of freezing rain

Lemurs thinking you're a toilet

"I said only a dash of pepper, a single dash."

Talk about a costume failure

Gives new meaning to the phrase "walking on eggshells"

It's a bad sign when even your own house wants you out

"Honey, did you see the forecast for this morning? It called for snow. And did you remember to roll up the windows last night?"

When toilet paper goes faster than usual...

You know something interesting happened if your backseat looks like the scene of a murder

Taking a deep breath may not be the brightest of ideas...

Even the rain gutter wants in

When you drink more than just the drink...

"You're...not safe"

Showers aren't always for everyone

(My stepdad has this problem with our downstairs shower. He's taller than any of us!!)

Sometimes, kitchens are not for everyone...

Aww, poor duck...



Day 10: 10 Random Things About You

Day 10, here are 10 random things about me

I love cows and ducks
-IDK why, I just think they're so cute!

I hate spiders
-They scare me!




One band I really like the music of is Rush
-I happen to think that Geddy Lee is a very attractive guy for his age

 

 

I will soon have my license

-Yup, I've been practicing and I will soon be a licensed driver!

I'm planning on going to a concert this summer
-If I can swing it, hopefully I'll have a good paying job, a car and some money. I really want to see Rush when they come to Cincinnati as part of their 2013 Clockwork Angels tour

Some say that I'm a reincarnated hippie
-Who's to say they're wrong? For all I know, I might be...

I want to travel
-This is already painfully obvious

I want to learn some foreign languages
-I'm a nerd; what can I say?

I think Kelly Hansen of Foreigner and Tommy Thayer of Kiss are cute
-What can I say? They're both very attractive men

I'm thinking about getting a tattoo
-Possibly Japanese symbols, maybe something Irish, who knows?