Beyond the grades

This is a follow-up post from the one I shared on Andre's graduation from secondary school.

After that post, I received some emails asking me what school Andre was in, where the teachers sounded so fantastic. I feel I need to put up this disclaimer: I'm not saying every teacher in Andre's school is "good". I believe that every school has its share of dedicated teachers and not-so-good ones, however you want to define "good". But if a school culture is one which understands a child's worth is more than the grades in his report book, especially if upheld and reinforced at the top, you're more likely to have teachers who translate this philosophy on the ground. And that's where I think Andre's school has gotten it right versus Lesley-Anne's secondary school.

Over the last four years, Andre's secondary school journey has been eventful. Academic-wise, there have been heart-stopping moments when he's performed less than satisfactory. At one point in sec3, I even wondered if he was going to be promoted to sec4 as he struggled with his new subjects.

But at every juncture, I found most of the teachers to be encouraging. It has become a running joke in my own head that whenever I attended a parent-teacher conference, the form teacher or subject teacher would look at his grades, then turn to me earnestly and say, "but he's a very nice boy!" Translation: ok lah, let's focus on something else more positive.

It's not lost on me that should Andre have been in a different secondary school, he might have had his spirit crushed, due to his academic challenges, and for this, I'm so thankful God led him to this school. We didn't know it at the time but it turned out to be a much bigger blessing than we could have imagined. One of Andre's greatest passions is in badminton and here, his ability was allowed to bloom. He was given the opportunity to be Captain and Vice-Captain of the school team for four years, where he developed his own gentle leadership style by setting a good example for his teammates. Andre's a quiet leader and not one to expect anything in return, so it was a wonderful surprise when his badminton teacher picked him for this Outstanding Leadership Award.

In addition, he wrote Andre a glowing testimonial. Quoting a portion of it here:

"Despite the grueling nature of the physical training, he had endured the demanding sessions without any complaints. He had even taken the initiative to encourage his peers in striving to complete their training. During competitions, Andre has always shown his presence. On the court, he plays to his utmost and fights hard for every single point. Off the court, he is supportive and motivates his team mates throughout their games...He had demonstrated that he is a caring and nurturing leader. He treated his peers and juniors with respect and yet still managed to demand standards and quality from them. He is patient towards the beginning players and would work tirelessly with them in practicing their fundamental skills."

It's so heart-warming to know that Andre's efforts have not gone unnoticed (especially since the badminton teacher is a man of few words, so it was a real surprise to read such ardent praise). Andre also received a testimonial from his form teacher, as is the normal practice for all graduating students. Here's a snippet of what she wrote:

"Andre is extremely good-natured, often the peacemaker in difficult situations. He gets along easily with everyone regardless of differences in cultural background. He is sensitive to peers and has a strong sense of empathy due to his ability to see and understand from the perspectives of others. Andre works very well with others, contributing positively and effectively in teams. Andre shows the potential to be both a follower and a mover. He can adapt easily to situations, follow instructions or step up to lead others. He is a promising youth with aspirations."

I picked this snippet because I think the teacher has summed up how Andre's character has grown and solidified over the last four years. Today, when I look at Andre, I see someone who's compassionate, humorous and well-liked - qualities that I believe are what maketh a man. Many people have said, and it's true, that it's the secondary school years that mold a boy's character. For this, I give a lot of credit to the school for consistently looking at every facet of his development more than just academic, and giving him the space and opportunities to discover himself and develop his abilities.

To the school, thank you for helping my son blossom. You score an A+ in my books.

The happy boy graduates

Last weekend was a momentous one for Andre. For one, it marked his graduation from secondary school. "But wait!" you might say. "What about the 'O' levels?" Ah yes. The 'O' levels will begin for him on 19 October but most secondary schools hold the graduation ceremony for sec 4 and 5 students at the end of September. The rest of the time up to the 'O' levels, the students are on home study leave, although they are still free to contact teachers for consults.

The graduation ceremony on Friday was a blast. Unlike at elite schools where the graduation ceremonies tend to be serious affairs, the one at Andre's school was noisy, fun and well, downright celebratory. 

The students went up on stage to collect their testimonials, to loud cheers from their friends. I kid you not when I tell you that at least a couple of students took selfies with their teachers right there on stage! To me, it was such a joy to see the abundance of spontaneity and merriment.

But more than the fun and laughter, what came through during the ceremony was how much the teachers of this school cared for their students. A long video was played, featuring messages from many form and subject teachers wishing their classes all the best. Most of the messages were not generic ones. For instance, Andre's form teacher (also his geography teacher) created a powerpoint that inserted all sorts of funny puns using geography terms that the students had learnt. A literature teacher read out some of the inspiring poems written by the students in her class.

Then another video montage was played which featured photos of the graduating cohort, not just in 2016 but all the way back to 2013 during the sec1 orientation. The hall was in an uproar as the students would whoop whenever one of their friends appeared on the screen. It's amazing how much some of the chubby, cherubic kids have changed over four years, especially the boys!

Later, Andre showed me the cards he's received. One was a personalised note of encouragement from a teacher who was his form teacher for only a short while in sec2. Yet, she took the time to write to everyone who was in her class then. This same teacher had made them write a note to their future self. She had kept the notes and returned them on graduation day. One of the goals Andre had written was "Must learn more about Minecraft", next to "Must listen more in class" :)) It was a wonderful way for the students to see how far they've come.

Neighbourhood school, champion teachers. I couldn't have asked for a better school for Andre to grow in his secondary school years. Here, the teachers always looked beyond academics to see and care for the whole child. Even when he was failing badly, they never quashed his spirit and always looked to encourage him in other ways. The response of the students during the graduating ceremony was testament to what the teachers have accomplished. 

With that, Andre has (more or less) completed his secondary school journey. Just before he celebrated his 16th birthday on Sunday. I can scarcely believe that in a matter of months, both my kids would have entered the higher education phase of their lives.

More challenges ahead? Probably...but I'm ready! Armed with old flower eye glasses and glucosamine cream for creaky knees, I'm looking forward to the journey.

The superpower of teachers

I've always believed that few people impact on others as much as teachers. Good or bad, they can leave a deep impression that influences attitudes and behaviour, even years later.

Lesley-Anne and I have dedicated quite a few Danger Dan books to teachers - it's our way of publicly showing our gratitude. Since it's Teachers' Day this Friday, I thought it would be fitting to pay tribute to teachers in this post, specifically, two of Lesley-Anne's teachers who have been inspiring mentors in her writing journey.

The first is Ms Heng, Lesley-Anne's JC1 Lit teacher. This teacher basically grew Lesley-Anne's appreciation of Lit ten-fold with her intellectually stimulating lectures and tutorials. Apart from that, she intuitively understood Lesley-Anne's reflective temperament and encouraged her to express herself. When I first met her at the parent-teacher conference last year, I was struck by how she seemed to "get" Lesley-Anne, despite having taught her only for a few months.

Titbit: we dedicated Secrets of Singapore to her!

Here she is at her own book launch which she invited us to. She's a poet and writer herself and had published a book co-authored with three other writers.

The second teacher is Lesley-Anne's p6 English teacher, Ms Lee. There's a heart-warming backstory to this one. Before p6, Lesley-Anne actually found writing dreary, thanks no less to all those "model compositions" and the "good phrases" she was told to emulate. Bleaaah. Instant formula for killing the love of writing.

Thankfully in p6, Ms Lee advised her to put aside the model compositions and to find her own voice. Even though Lesley-Anne's language use was much simpler than the generally preferred bombastic language at p6, Ms Lee recognised her potential and continued to encourage her efforts. From there, Lesley-Anne's love of writing bloomed and she developed her personal writing style, which till today, leans towards simplicity and clarity.

Lesley-Anne credits Ms Lee in her school talk when she speaks about her writing journey. However, we had long lost touch with Ms Lee as she had left Lesley-Anne's primary school and we didn't know where she had gone.

Then in July, we conducted a talk at North Vista Primary School. After the talk, a teacher excitedly bounded onto the stage. It was Ms Lee! What serendipity! It was a very special moment for both of them.

These are just two teachers who made a difference in Lesley-Anne's life. We have the opportunity to thank them publicly through our books and our talks, but there are many, many more students whom I'm sure are privately thanking teachers for their own lives and successes. The teachers who disregarded their own safety to protect their students during the Sabah earthquake earlier this year come to mind.

For this, I would like to wish all teachers a very heartfelt and happy Teachers' Day. May your work continue to inspire and bless those who cross your path.

Dance little lady dance

It wasn't that long ago when I wrote about Lesley-Anne enjoying JC life, partly due to her love for dance and her Dance CCA. In the blink of an eye, it's time for her to step down as a senior (the JC2s stop CCA from mid of the year so they can focus on the fast approaching A levels).

Joining the dance group was the most fulfillment Lesley-Anne has ever gotten out of any CCA. She has not only improved tremendously on her dance techniques, she has also had the opportunity to perform many different dance styles.

Being part of dance is no walk in the park. People often have the mistaken idea that a dance CCA only dances or learns choreography. The truth is a huge chunk of each three-hour session is spent on technical exercises and each session starts with PT (push-ups, crunches, etc). Dance is a very physically demanding performing art, almost like a sport.

In fact, Lesley-Anne is now the most physically fit I've ever seen her. If you've followed my blog, you'll know that sports has never been Lesley-Anne's forte. For the NAPFA test, she's always struggled with the 2.4km run but from her dance training, running stopped becoming a hurdle. This year, for the first time since primary school, she scored a gold in NAPFA. She was so motivated she decided to try and maintain her fitness by going jogging twice a week. Here she is with Andre. Brother and sister running together! Who would've thought?

It has been such a huge blessing for Lesley-Anne to be part of her dance CCA, in no small part because of the instructor, Dan Kwoh. Despite her not having joined a dance CCA previously, Mr Dan took a chance on her and gave her the opportunity to blossom. He's a terrific mentor to his students and great at identifying potential. Eg. if he feels that a student is particularly skilled at expression, he will give her an opportunity to showcase this. He noticed Lesley-Anne's technique (as a result of her ballet training) and gave her a pas de deux (dance duet) part in the school's Singapore Youth Festival (SYF) item. Ok, it's also partly because Lesley-Anne is so petite - it means she's easier to lift!   

Mr Dan is not just a great teacher, he's a fantastic choreographer. That explains why he's so popular as a dance instructor for schools. He's currently teaching 6 schools and choreographed all the dances for this year's SYF. He held a mini rehearsal/concert for family members of all 6 schools to see the performances and I was completely impressed by the sheer scale and creativity of all the dances.

This is a pic of one of the secondary school items.

And these two pics below are of Lesley-Anne's school dance. Mr Dan tends to pick more abstract concepts for JC and this one depicts the fear and loneliness associated with dementia. I know, right? So cheem! But I thought they totally pulled it off - it was beautiful and haunting.

You can watch the full performance here. Sorry for bad recording - this was taken from our seats and we couldn't find the official SYF video online.

All 6 of Mr Dan's schools achieved Distinction for this year's SYF. I can't say I'm surprised but it speaks volumes of his skills and dedication as a dance educator.

I think Lesley-Anne is very fortunate to have discovered something she's passionate about and been given the opportunity to pursue the passion in a nurturing environment. I've always thought dance to be an exquisite art form and is pure poetry in motion. As pioneer American modern dancer and choreographer Martha Graham put it, "Dance is the hidden language of the soul." Such a blessing that Lesley-Anne is able to channel this language as a mode of expression.

"The dance is a poem of which each movement is a word." - Mata Hari

It takes a village

Most authors will tell you that they are nothing without the support of their readers and while this sounds like a politically correct statement, it's true. Especially in today's context where reading is on the decline, it really does take the support of a whole community to keep books and authors going.

On my blog, I sometimes encounter readers who express their appreciation for what I do. But every now and then, I come across gestures of support so generous that they leave a deep impression in my mind. This post is a thank-you for the wonderful people I've had the fortune to meet, personally and virtually.

First, there's a mum who tried very hard to get her son's school to invite Lesley-Anne and me to conduct a workshop. When that endeavour failed, instead of leaving it at that, she rallied a group of like-minded parents and engaged us for a private creative writing workshop.

Denise, our bookseller, generously offered her office space as a venue and on a Sunday afternoon, we spoke to some 31 kids from different schools, and got them writing!

Some of the parents even brought snacks!

Another very supportive mum is Jenn, who has been a long-time reader of my blog. She has read my books and interacted with me on many occasions. She even got her son AJ interested in Danger Dan who contributed a kid's review! She blogged about my books here.

Finally, we have Mrs Zahira, Head of GEP Humanities at St Hilda's Primary. She has been one of our most ardent supporters, and has invited us to give talks and conduct workshops at the school. Through her, the school has purchased numerous sets of Danger Dan for its partner school libraries and in her personal capacity, she has also ordered many copies of our books for her children, nephews and nieces.

Look at the number of books waiting to be signed! We've truly been very blessed by her heartfelt support.

And in the spirit of community, we want to acknowledge the brilliant team that makes Danger Dan happen. Behind our books is a group of dedicated people who work behind the scenes to bring Danger Dan to life and to bookstores. So recently when we were at Epigram Books for a Danger Dan #5 planning meeting, we interviewed the people and recorded some scenes to give our readers a glimpse of the work that goes on.

We were half expecting them to decline to be video-ed but instead, they all gamely participated and readily answered our questions, even the strange ones (the questions, not the people!) They're terrific sports and we feel very fortunate to be able to work with such fun people. We hope we've managed to capture their passion and quirks in this second Danger Dan video, created Lesley-Anne and me (well, mostly Lesley-Anne). Enjoy!



Afternote: If you haven't ordered the books yet, a gentle reminder - 20% discount on online orders of The Good, the Bad and the PSLE, as well as all Danger Dan books ends 19 November 2014 midnight! Details here.

Tribute to an exceptional individual - Mrs Noella Dana

Last weekend, nine ex-students of my late piano teacher Mrs Dana got together and we had a wonderful catchup. This was a strange reunion of sorts because some of us didn't actually know each other. We were just bonded by the connection with one incredible human being who really demonstrated how much impact a teacher could have.

It's hard to explain how Mrs Dana's music studio worked because it was really one of a kind. When you went for a piano lesson, you didn't just sit with a teacher for an hour and then went on your way. A lesson at Mrs Dana's was like a visit to a music community. She had three pianos and usually at least two "helper" teachers. At any one time, a student could be going through their scales with one teacher while another was practising theory cards (which Mrs Dana made herself) and yet another would be in her studio being taught their exam pieces.

Even though we had a given lesson time, we often spent hours there. It was a laissez faire approach but there was a method in the madness. When we were not at the piano with Mrs Dana or another teacher, we hung out with the other kids or did our school homework. It was more like an after school care than a music studio, really. Mrs Dana ruled with a kind but firm hand and if you didn't know your work, she would insist you come back for an extra lesson. If you didn't practise, she would march down to your parents in the car or call them to let them know. She had more than her fair share of difficult kids, I suspect because some despairing parents hoped she would straighten them out! She had a knack with naughty kids and believed that music could solve most problems.

If Mrs Dana felt that you were musical, she would tirelessly hound you until you lived up to your talent. Her fees were below market rate and she used to grumble that some didn't pay their fees for months, yet she never turned anyone away. Many students expressed shock at how later on, when they took music lessons elsewhere, they realised that other teachers charged strictly by the hour, four lessons a month, didn't make up lessons you missed and didn't really care if you practised or learned anything. We were all spoilt by Mrs Dana. 

When we were older, many of us ex-students were invited to be the helper teachers at her studio. Teaching at Mrs Dana's was my first paid holiday job. Her home at La Salle Street was open to students from morning to evening and it was well known in the eastern part of Singapore. We heard anecdotes of how when given the address, taxi drivers would ask, "oh, the piano teacher's house?" Through these black gates, hundreds passed through to get their dose of music and more. The swing in the garden was a favourite. I managed to take photos of the exterior in 2010 before it was torn down and rebuilt by the new owners.

Mrs Dana's teaching methods were truly innovative. For example, she made up her own lyrics to exam pieces to help kids remember the melody. She held Sunday aural classes so we could listen to and learn from other students in the same grade. At our meetup, we all shared how she instilled the love of music in us. Some mentioned that till today, they remember their music intervals clearly thanks to her methods. A couple of them have chosen music as a career and still practise her methods today.

But even more than her extraordinary love of teaching and gift of music, what made her a remarkable individual was her exceeding generosity, which she blessed families with. At the gathering, an ex-student shared how growing up as the daughter of a church's caretaker, her family sometimes found it difficult to make ends meet. She first met Mrs Dana who did the flower arrangements for the church. Mrs Dana took her under her wing and gave her piano lessons at no charge. Later, she offered her a job as a teacher at the studio and even gave her a piano. This ex-student is doing well today and she has kept the piano all these years, even though some of the keys are stuck and can't be played properly.

I really don't know how Mrs Dana found the time but between running a music studio and raising a family of her own (she was the sole breadwinner since her husband was ill), she also reached out to the community. She once mentioned to me that she was helping underprivileged kids from Geylang Methodist Primary School learn how to read. As an ex-kindergarten teacher and principal, she had a big heart for kids.

On a personal note, Mrs Dana was a very special friend to me. She was my mentor and confidante, always warm and caring. I remember her sense of humour and her bubbly laugh. She had a skin pigmentation disorder and used to joke, "I'm like Michael Jackson!" As an adolescent and later as an adult, I could confide in her the way I couldn't with my own mother. She was a second mother to me and was part of almost all my significant life events. When I did well in piano exams, she bought me music books. After learning at her studio for almost a decade, I taught there during my university school holidays. This is a rare photo I took with her and my sister at her studio.

She was the one who brought my sister and I to the church we currently attend. She took us to SSO concerts to expand our minds. She was very pleased when I later joined the SSO as its marketing manager. My box office staff knew her very well as she was a regular concert-goer and always booked the same seat in the stalls of the Victoria Concert Hall (I believe it was an aisle seat in row R). She also played the organ at my wedding.

When I had my kids, Mrs Dana embroidered flowers on baby shirts for them and bought them books and toys. I love this photo of Mrs Dana carrying Lesley-Anne. Lesley-Anne learned with her only about a year before Mrs Dana got ill but even then, she said some of Mrs Dana's methods really stuck with her.

Mrs Dana suddenly fell ill in 2005 and even then, refused to seek treatment as it was the period of piano exams. When she finally agreed to be hospitalised, a bunch of ex-teachers mobilised themselves to help out at the studio and they were overwhelmed by the sheer number of students. Even with a team, it was exhausting. Nobody knew how this feisty 76-year-old managed it.

Even in hospital, Mrs Dana's thoughts were with her students. "Tell so-and-so to practise! She doesn't practise enough," one teacher recalled her saying. When she passed on, her daughter found boxes and boxes of cards and gifts that her students had given her. Mrs Dana had kept everything.

It was by chance that a group of her ex-students met in church a few weeks ago and came up with the idea of having a gathering. Nine of us met up but through this, so many more have since been contacted - a network spanning a wide range of ages and backgrounds. Many of her ex-students are pillars of society today - doctors, lawyers, etc but they recall being that naughty kid being chased down by Mrs Dana to practise scales. I've also since learned that many of her ex-students are now musicians or music teachers. All remember fondly the time they spent at La Salle Street.

As we chatted over dinner and shared our stories of Mrs Dana, I was blown away by how this one woman could have touched hundreds of lives from three generations. It's been almost ten years since she passed away and yet our memories of her remain vivid - that's how deep an impression she made on us.

Many people speak of love but rare is the one who personifies it. How blessed we are to have known her.

The finer points of parent-teacher conferences

Before the school holidays, I attend the Parent-Teacher Conferences (PTCs) for both Lesley-Anne and Andre.

I have mixed feelings about PTCs. On one hand, I want to know how my children are doing in school. On the other hand, sometimes knowing is worse than not knowing. You know what I mean - going to a PTC only to hear the teacher confirm your worst fears about how badly your child is doing is about as enjoyable as having a root canal. Students definitely feel the same way because Lesley-Anne told me that her classmates who weren't doing very well in school were the ones who actively discouraged their parents from attending the PTC.

Another reason for not liking PTCs is that I usually don't really get much value from them. I feel compelled to attend them but I really don't need to meet the teacher to hear that Lesley-Anne should speak up more or that Andre needs to pay attention in class. Tell me something I don't already know.

But this year, I was pleasantly surprised both times. Andre's PTC, for instance. Andre's results haven't exactly been stellar so I was half expecting the worst. Instead, his teachers never once mentioned his grades and one by one, told me that he's a very nice boy with a great attitude.

When we met the Chinese teacher, I thought we would be admonished for raising a son who believed that scraping by with a passing grade for Chinese compo was the pinnacle of achievement. Instead, he said that Andre has a good attitude and just needs to have more confidence in himself. Although when Kenneth asked where Andre's weakness lay, the teacher did say "when he picks up his pen." Alamak! Somebody hand that teacher a trophy for stand-up comedy. 

Ok, I know I shouldn't laugh but sometimes, the best way to approach a situation is just to have a sense of humour. Andre's Chinese is what it is. Angst-ing over it is not gonna make an iota of a difference. I'm thankful that his teachers appreciate him for who he is and don't judge him simply based on his report book.

For Lesley-Anne, I wasn't expecting much since the school term only started in mid-February and the teachers have had limited face time with the students. In the past, some of her teachers barely even remembered her name until later on in the school year. So I was astonished when a few of the teachers displayed a keenly astute perspective of her personality, right down to who she gets along with in class and whose views she doesn't agree with (if you know Lesley-Anne, you'll understand that this is no mean feat because here is a girl who doesn't talk much and doesn't publicly reveal her emotions). They brought up specific instances of her behaviour, which showed that they saw her and paid attention.

But what I was most pleased about was that most of them seemed genuinely interested in her as a whole person. They didn't just zoom in on her schoolwork - they asked about her CCA and external activities. They felt that she had a lot to offer intellectually and wanted to help her grow. It was a refreshing change from PTCs where teachers made general statements based on grades. Oh, and that she should speak up more. I'm not sure if it's this school or just her batch of teachers but when I left the PTC, I felt that Lesley-Anne was very blessed to have such nurturing teachers.

As mentioned earlier, PTCs are a touch-and-go affair. I don't always emerge from them feeling like I've gained anything but this year, I'm very glad I went. I came back less worried about my kids' immediate education journey (for the rest of the year at least) because I know they're in good hands.

Thank God for good teachers.

"What do you think I think?" The absurdity of exam questions

Andre's year-end examinations are coming up and I was looking at his work as he was revising for History. I saw one of the questions in a worksheet:

"The Gupta Dynasty was known as the Golden Age of India because of its scientific achievements. Do you agree? Explain your answer."

According to the model answer provided, he's supposed to write the statement "I agree..." or "I disagree..." and give supporting reasons. Which makes perfect sense. But then came the kicker: after giving all the supporting reasons, he's then supposed to write the opposite statement of what he gave earlier, eg if you previously said you agree, now you had to say "However, I don't agree..." And THEN give all the supporting reasons for this statement.

I was perplexed. I checked with Lesley-Anne and found out it's true for her school too. Basically for such questions in History, you're supposed to say you agree and then say you disagree. If you only say one part, you will fail because you'll get at most half the marks, according to the marking scheme. (I know! I'm only finding this out now!) Incidentally, I think this is the O level format for History and/or Social Studies.

Qualifier: I have no problem with exam questions that ask for both sides of an argument. I understand that they want to ensure the students have studied all aspects of an issue, which is all well and good. My quarrel is with the way the questions are phrased. They seem to ask for your opinion but actually, they couldn't care less what it is.

I find that in the past decade or so, we've seen a lot more "what do you think?" kind of questions in exams, right down to the primary school level. If I were to hazard a guess as to why, I think it ties in with MOE's constant mantra that they want to groom "thinking" and "life-skills", not just book-smart muggers. So they decided to move from "what do you know?" to "what do you think?", to try and get students to give their views beyond what is provided in the textbooks or exam passages.

However, as is always the case, it boils down to execution. And in true Singapore style, everything has to be recorded regimentally into a marking template, down to the number of points for each key word, so that nothing will be left ambiguous. By which time, there is no room left for any opinion that doesn't fall within the "acceptable answers" pre-determined by the marker.

Eg. in primary school English comprehension questions, those "what do you think?" questions always make me snort. Maybe when the kid first starts school, he naively thinks, "oh! I can write what I think!" Then he quickly wises up when he finds that his "I think Aminah is dumb because she gave her money away." was marked wrong because what the teacher really wanted was "I think Aminah is kind because she gave her money to someone."  In other words, they don't give a flying bumblebee what you think. It's really "what do you think I think?"

Same with this History case. By all means, ask to see both sides of the story. But if that's what the marker wants to see, then just ask, "Explain why the statement is both true and untrue." Don't couch it in a "I wanna know your views!" kind of question and then fail the student if he gives his views, even with supporting arguments.

My point is that looking at the way the exam questions are designed, I suspect we're nowhere closer to grooming creativity and thinking than we are 10 or 20 years ago. The questions have changed but the mindset hasn't. As long as MOE feels that it needs to assess "thinking" or "creativity" via a structured template (don't we just love our KPIs and our numbers!), we're back to marking for content, which was the Singapore syllabus of old. Because honestly, if you truly value thought and opinion, you cannot start off by having a pre-conceived idea of what that opinion should be.

Lesley-Anne recounted how her Integrated Humanities class (which is something like a social studies cum history subject) was in an uproar because of one exam question:

"The government has to play the main role in the alleviation of poverty in China. Do you agree?"

Like in Andre's case, the students knew they had to give both sides of the story, ie say you agree and then say you disagree. So for the "I disagree" portion, many of the students wrote a statement along the lines of "I disagree because people play the main role in the alleviation of poverty in China." The students who did thus, even with all the supporting arguments, failed or barely passed the paper. Apparently, this statement is considered WRONG. You had to say "I disagree because the government doesn't play the main role but the supporting role to the people in the alleviation of poverty."

Note that the supporting arguments given could be exactly the same in two papers, except that the statement is different. But one was deemed to be a fail grade, the other an A grade. The teacher's rationalisation was that the main point is the government so it had to be mentioned in the statement.

The commotion came about because the students in Lesley-Anne's school rightly saw how illogical the marking scheme was. Nowhere in the phrasing of the question was it clear that the government was the main point (I too, thought the alleviation of poverty was the main point). Again, the only explanation I can come up with is our system's relentless obsession with the need to differentiate the kids. It reminded me of that recent primary school science question a mother posted on Facebook. The teacher in that case, defended the question by saying it "differentiated the A students from the A* students".

I'm absolutely positive that it doesn't. In both cases. To the teachers: what you've succeeded in doing is create a wider range of marks, if that's what you deem "differentiating". But don't kid yourself into thinking it actually picks out the brighter students. Unless you define "bright" as someone who possesses magical mind-reading abilities.

Neither of the examples I've cited does anything towards creating more thinking individuals. Quite the opposite. They probably create more confused individuals who are constantly being told that the way they think is wrong. The skill that is assessed and reinforced here is not thinking or creativity, it's the ability to guess and tell someone else what they want to hear. What do you think I think.

I wonder if some academicians have been in education for so long that they have lost the plot. I keep hearing how our education system has to evolve to be relevant to life but from these two examples, I really doubt the markers have any clue what skills are important in real life.

In real life, your opinion matters. In fact, if you were to state "I agree" with something and then follow that up with "I disagree", you'll be told, make up your damn mind already. In real life, it's important to know how to make intelligent arguments and back up your views. Not mind-reading. Not second-guessing. Not meaningless hair-splitting of semantics.

Make education more relevant to life? Yes. But first, understand what's really relevant in life.

The day chivalry died

I know I haven't blogged about Andre in ages. I guess there are limitations when a kid hits secondary school:

1) The frequency of funny incidents has decreased since he has matured (somewhat).

2) He is less inclined to let me blog about incidents as he has grown more self-conscious (slightly).

3) Even when there are funny incidents, I think twice about whether to blog about them because part of me thinks, "Alamak!  How come he's still so childish?"

Nevertheless, I know that a few years ago, the funny perspectives of Andre were what many readers looked forward to on this blog, so I decided to write one just for old time's sake. This dialogue took place last year, during Andre's PSLE year and was told to Lesley-Anne by their Chinese tuition teacher.

Incidentally, their lao shi is a darling. She's animated, engaging and always tries to make the Chinese language interesting.  Even though she sometimes expresses exasperation with Andre (she equates teaching him to playing ball: "他好像在跟我打球一样. 我教他什么，他就打回给我."), she finds him hilarious.

This was a particular conversation that kept her in stitches.

Lao shi: "以后你要照顾姐姐." ('In the future, you should look after your sister.")

Andre: "呵! 不要! 以后我找个男人给她就可以了." ("Hah! I dowan! Next time, I'll just find a man for her.")

Lao shi: "可是，如果有人要欺负她的话，你一定要保护她." ("But if anyone tries to bully her, you have to protect her.")

Andre: "不用啦! 她的这个 (shows fist) 很强!" ("No need lah! Her fist is very powerful!")

Big sisters rule!

Oh, to be bored

Recently, I was invited to a Singapore Conversation session on education and while I was there, I was asked to give a soundbite for an MOE video that's to be produced for teachers and staff.  There were many things I could have said but in the end, what I chose to say within the 2 minutes or so was the importance of letting kids have their free time.

This topic just happened to be topmost on my mind because Lesley-Anne was reading up on the United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights and she became all excited when she came to Article 24: Everyone has the right to rest and leisure.

"I wish my school knew this!"

When Lesley-Anne first started secondary school, she was full of anticipation.  By the end of sec 3, she was physically and mentally exhausted.  Don't get me wrong, it's not that she doesn't like her school.  It's because her schedule had become so intense she barely had time to breathe.  It's not just lessons. After school, if there wasn't some supplementary or enrichment class, there would be CCA.  If it wasn't CCA, it would be some excursion or project discussion. When there's the rare occasion that there's nothing on or a holiday coming up, you can be sure the teachers would pile the students with extra homework.  If the students protest, they're often told not to be lazy or have better time management skills.  School holidays are a sham. There's never one where my kids don't need to go back to school for something or the other.

CCA is almost on par with schoolwork in its demands.  In sec 1, Lesley-Anne was super psyched to be in band. She got to learn a new instrument and perform in a musical group.  It was fun.  By this year, she had grown thoroughly sick of it. Why?  Band practices are 3 times a week, 3 hours each time.  When the Singapore Youth Festival (SYF) draws near, rehearsals intensify to almost everyday.  The pressure placed on the band for SYF is intense. If they miss out on a Distinction, there is much hue and cry.  The students feel the loss keenly and the school demonstrates its disappointment by cutting the band budget.  Even during non-SYF years, the band is expected to put on school and other performances, again the justification for intensive practice.

This trend is not just for band, obviously. Lesley-Anne tells me that many students in the school choir over-practise to the point that they suffer vocal cord damage and have to go to the doctor to have a tube inserted into the throat to heal it.

Doesn't this strike anyone as ridiculous? I find that our culture is fixated on the maxim that if something is good, it's better to keep doing more of it. To the point where something that used to be fun and interesting becomes detestable and downright unhealthy.

We are grooming a generation of jaded kids.

I recently read a BBC News article on the importance of boredom and enforced solitude for creativity.  Through interviews with authors, artists and scientists, Dr Belton, an education researcher found that free time allowed people to tap into their latent creative energies.

If this is true, then it perhaps partly explains why Singapore seems to have so much trouble in this respect.  Our kids barely have enough time for rest, let alone time to be bored.  When Lesley-Anne was very young, about 3 or 4, I used to see her sitting on her bedroom floor, just staring into space. I never knew what she was thinking about, I like to imagine she was in some childhood fantasy land, maybe with flying teddy bears and talking dolphins.  She doesn't have time to daydream anymore. Today, when she has some free time, she catches up on sleep. She has learnt the art of sleeping anywhere - at the desk, on a cushion, on the bus.

My friend, Lilian, was recounting to me how at the International School in Bangkok, the students get to try out a diverse range of interests throughout their school life, eg in photography or music or art, and some emerge to be fantastic talents in these areas.

My belief is this: it's not that Singapore kids don't have talent, it's just that they don't have the time to discover them. Their schedules are so packed with academic work that any such activity is considered extra and comes out of their own time. Curriculum time seldom allows for non-core subjects, except in a cursory manner.  Typically, by the time the kids have finished studying, CCA, tuition, etc, they're so tired the last thing they want to do is fill their remaining time with more stuff.  All they want to do is veg out in front of the tv or computer because it's a shutting down mechanism. (Note that tv and computer time does not constitute boredom and does not increase creativity).

If children here are musical or sporting talents, chances are it's because their parents invested resources and made their kids carve out time to bear out these talents.  That's why I'm sometimes a little sceptical about the DSA scheme.  Although it tries to be more holistic by recognising talents other than academic, it focuses only on the end result and doesn't aid the nurturing process.

The truth is that passions and skills in areas like the arts and sports take time to develop.  It starts with exposure, discovery, and trial and error.  Then gradually, the child will come to see if he has a passion in it before the honing of the skill.  The process is slow and it requires an extensive amount of time, something our kids don't have the luxury of. Because of the DSA, some parents are pushing their kids to accelerate their artistic and sporting potential for the sake of admissions at pri 6. When we rob the kids of the natural process of creation and development, we risk killing the passion because the objective becomes a pragmatic one and it all becomes too much, too soon.

I feel strongly that schools, teachers and parents alike have to recognise the value of letting kids have their time and space.  What I said in the MOE video was that teachers (and parents) have to stop thinking that whenever the child has some time, they have to fill it.  At some point, we've got to realise that filling time doesn't improve learning, it impedes it.

Less really is more.

Life isn't fair. What do we do?

Here's a hypothetical situation:

3 students have to do a group project together. They agree on what each person has to contribute.  However, what ensues is this:

Student A doesn't do her part and disappears throughout duration of project, appearing in time only to put her name on project.

Student B doesn't really know what's going on, puts in a half-hearted effort that anyone can see is badly done.

Student C does her part and being a conscientious student, chases the others who don't respond. She now has the dilemma of wondering whether to take on Student A and Student B's share of the work, or just let the whole group flunk.

This is actually a very common scenario, I hear it from parents all the time (especially parents of kids like Student C).  As we all know, the world is made up of all kinds of people, so I'm not too surprised that this happens in schools.

What I'm astonished about though, is how frequently, if the group eventually scores a bad grade, the teacher will tell Student C that it was her fault, that she should have made sure the other two handed in the work.  The reasoning behind this logic is "that's what happens in real life, you have to make sure the work gets done. Real life isn't fair, get used to it."

I have a big issue with people who love to spout the "life isn't fair" cliche, as I often find that they're the ones perpetuating the belief.  I have an even bigger issue when that person is a teacher.  We all know life isn't fair, no argument there. And it's also true that when kids grow up and become adults in the working world, these are the challenges they will face.

However, the role of teachers is not to give our kids a dose of reality by reinforcing all that is bad about life and about people.  For example, we know facing failure builds resilience but that doesn't mean we set our kids up for failure. I saw this quote the other day that really shouted out to me:

“It’s not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless world. It’s our job to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and heartless.”
~ L.R.Knost

There's a gulf of difference between preparing kids for real life and training them for it. One teaches you how to deal with rats in the rat race, the other teaches you how to be a rat. The trouble is these days, we have become so obsessed with making sure that our kids are able to survive in the competitive landscape, that the focus of education has shifted from educating to training.  The former teaches you to be a better, more knowledgeable version of yourself.  The latter gives you skills to survive, to come up on top.  If your goal is the latter, it means that you only play to win, usually at the expense of someone else. Winner takes all.

That's where I feel many teachers and parents trip up.  I've heard anecdotal stories of parents who teach their kids how to get ahead by thinking only for Numero Uno.  If you have to lie on an application form, hide books, shove to get to the front, prey on the kindness of others, by all means, as long as you can get away with it.  After all, that's what life is like. It's a dog-eat-dog world.  It's called being street-smart. Life isn't fair.

The problem with this approach is that if everybody does this, nobody wins and society sucks big time.  Out of all the excuses, the lamest justification I always hear: "Everyone's doing it.  We have no choice!" That's right, another fantastic lesson we're teaching our kids - how to assign blame so we don't have to be responsible for our actions.

Back to project above - what did the students learn? Student A learns that you can do nothing and get away with it. Student B learns that it's ok not to try to try harder cos you can always ride on somebody's coattails.  Saddest of all, Student C learns that it really doesn't pay to be conscientious.  In fact, she's probably considered naive and stupid.

As parents and teachers, we need to understand that our role is to groom human beings who can make society better, not take advantage of it.  If kids don't learn about doing the right thing, how will they know this as adults?  The kind of messages we're sending to our kids is directly related to the kind of society we're creating.  We can't really complain about the moral decay of society if we're teaching children that they survive better if they leave their ethics at the front door.

We need to go back to basics and walk the talk.  Reinforce actions that demonstrate the age-old values of diligence, honesty, compassion and responsibility.  Show them that you can and should be kind in an unkind world.

Life is unfair. All the more we should try to make a difference.

New beginnings, new blessings

It's the start of another school year. For Lesley-Anne, moving to sec 4 doesn't signify much change as she won't be doing her O levels. Don't take it to mean there will be less stress though, she's already bracing herself for another whirlwind year.

For Andre though, 2013 meant making the eventful transition from primary to secondary school and in his case, it was even more suspenseful as the school he would attend was up in the air all through to the very last day of 2012.

What happened was this:

Andre was posted to School A which he was very comfortable with, as many of his friends were there. We like the environment there, so it would seem like an open and shut case. However, we had one issue with School A - it had a rather lackadaisical badminton CCA.

For many parents, this would not be a big deal but for us, it was a niggling concern. While we're not claiming that badminton is something that has to take centrestage in Andre's life, we have found that it gives him focus. The structure and rigour of badminton training, and being part of a team with similar sporting goals go a long way towards keeping Andre grounded. We felt that this was especially important for the critical teen years and if Andre had stayed at School A, he might end up coasting aimlessly.

Even before the school posting results, Andre's badminton coach had recommended that he tried appealing to School B, which has a decent badminton programme. We had previously attended School B's open house and were pretty impressed by the school ethos and the principal. We had also spoken to parents who had kids in the school and the general feedback was that it has dedicated teachers who take a real interest in the students.

Andre's coach made her recommendation to School B's teacher in charge of badminton, Mr L, who incidentally is very invested in promoting the sport and building up his school team. Andre went for a trial where he enjoyed playing with the school team tremendously. He must have made an impression on Mr L because the teacher told me later that he would love to have Andre and pulled out all the stops with his recommendation to the principal.

However, by the last week of December, Andre's chances of appeal began to fade when Mr L revealed that there were few vacancies in the school this year and the principal had told him the answer was likely to be no. We were mentally preparing ourselves to settle Andre in School A when Mr L updated me on Friday, 28 December that he made one last attempt to convince the principal of Andre's worth. He even told her, "you don't know what you're missing out on" which touched me - he had so much faith in a boy he barely knew.

Finally, on the morning of 31 December, I received a call from School B's general office saying that Andre's appeal was successful. He was the only badminton student the school took in via appeals this year. It was the best New Year's gift we could have asked for. When I sms-ed Mr L to tell him the good news, he was delighted and said he would try his best to help Andre thrive in the school, not just in badminton but academically as well.

As usual, God's timing was impeccable. True, He kept us in suspense right to the end but the message was clear - He will provide. In fact, God didn't just provide a school for Andre, He gave him one which looks to suit him well. It seems to have a nurturing culture, and it will give Andre the discipline and joy of the sport he loves, with a team that he feels very comfortable with. On top of all that, He sent a mentor who believes in Andre and is prepared to watch over him.

Such provision, way beyond our expectations. I write this as a reminder to myself as well, as I tend to get discouraged too often and too easily. I remember how Lesley-Anne's secondary school choice was also God-led and how it has been a blessing to her. When God gives, He gives generously. I can't wait to see what's in store! 

Making the reluctant case for tuition

Lesley-Anne got back her year-end exam results last week and overall, we're pretty pleased with it.  Except for Higher Chinese where she scored a B4, she received an A grade for everything else. As we all know, it's not always the case that hard work will translate into good results but this time, it really paid off for her and we're very grateful for it.

The subject we were most pleasantly surprised by though, was maths. As I'd previously blogged, Lesley-Anne had been struggling with maths this year, earning herself a C5 in E Maths and a dubious F9 in A Maths in her mid-year exams. We got her a math tutor and even though we expected to see improvement, we weren't predicting any miracles.

The results turned out to be pretty drastic. For the CA2, barely 3 months after tuition commenced, Lesley-Anne's A Maths grade jumped from F9 to C5.  For this end of year exam, she scored an A1 for E Maths and an A2 for A Maths, just one mark shy of an A1.   

To tell you the truth, I'm pretty torn by this turn of events. On one hand, of course I'm delighted by the results. On the other hand, I'm actually feeling a little perturbed. Why?  Because the results show that contrary to what her F9 grade indicated, Lesley-Anne has the capacity to learn maths. Just not from her school teacher.

This bugs me.  In my opinion, a student should be able to learn at least the rudiments of any given subject from school with the prerequisite hard work, unless he really has zero aptitude for it. I've never been a big proponent of tuition unless the child truly needs help.  However, from this experience, I found that in just 6 months, a once-a-week, two-hour tuition session made all the difference.  I can only conclude that it's not the amount of effort or the hours spent learning maths, it's the teaching method.

I'm pretty sure that Lesley-Anne would not have gotten these results if she had continued to try and learn maths purely from school. For some reason, she can't understand the way her teacher explains concepts and maths remedial didn't help since he would repeat the topics in the same way. Maybe he thought that her poor results were because she wasn't working hard enough or wasn't paying attention.

I totally get that it's more difficult to teach a classroom of kids than tutor one student but Lesley-Anne was not even remotely passing A Maths, which tells me she hadn't even grasped the basic concepts.

If it's true that our children sometimes don't do well in school because they can't understand the teachers, then this is troubling. How can our education system wean kids off tuition if it is more effective than school?  What about kids who can't afford tuition?  There is also the question of how many kids think they are stupid or do not have the aptitude to grasp a subject when maybe it's just the way it is taught that's not effective.

These are difficult issues that have always been a challenge - finding good teachers, equipping them with the right tools, making sure they have enough time and resources to do their job well, etc. Nevertheless, they need to be addressed if MOE wants to convince parents that "every school is a good school".

For now, I'll just have to be resigned to the fact Lesley-Anne's maths education is not from school but an external source.  It's not ideal but at least it's effective.

When a haircut becomes breaking news

So by now, I think most of you would have read the Straits Times story of a mother who was so outraged by the teacher who cut her son's hair that she filed a police report.

I was asked how I felt about it and my initial thought was huh? Come on, this is non-news. Must be a slow news day at ST.

But if you really want to know, I think it was simply a case of overreaction all around.

The teacher taking matters into her own hands and cutting the boy's hair - overreaction

The mother making a police report - overreaction

The boy crying and staying home from wushu for 2 days - overreaction

MOE making the teacher apologise and asking the parents to forgive her - overreaction

Really, do we take ourselves so seriously these days that we have to respond so drastically to every small matter? Or is it just a result of too much stress that we have lost all sense of reason?

I have great empathy for teachers - they don't have an easy job and the hardest part is probably dealing with parents. However, I do think this teacher didn't pick the smartest course of action. It's just before the crucial PSLE oral exam - why would you mess with the boy's mental state then? I agree that if the boy had been given warnings beforehand, he probably had it coming. It was a common punishment a generation ago and I just found out that some schools in Singapore still practise this. I disagree less with the act than the timing.

As for the mother, well, I don't think she did herself any favours by going to the police. Auntie ah, police report is for criminal cases hor. Next time your handphone gets stolen, may the police be too busy questioning a teacher for not letting a student go for PE.

Her mention of the $60 haircut for her son also cemented in people's minds, stereotypes about rich parents and their brats. I don't want to judge cos I don't know them. All I can say is, maybe she should sue Reds Hair Salon for an overpriced haircut that didn't meet school standards.

You want to know the irony of ironies? The PSLE Chinese oral conversation topic that day was, "Which is the school rule you dislike the most?" I shouldn't laugh. I really shouldn't.

This incident has created an uproar among netizens and I see many comments along the lines of "in my time, we would accept our punishment uncomplainingly and we all turned out fine! The new generation is a bunch of wussies!"

I always get impatient with "in my time stories" because people somehow like to romanticise the past. The past was not all rainbows and Care Bears. I still have emotional scars from tyrannic teachers who thought it was fun to terrorise kids because they knew we'd be too afraid to tell our parents. Or maybe our parents didn't file police reports cos it's hard to take seriously mata who wore shorts.

But back to serious business. I think the reason why people are so indignant is that this incident is symptomatic of the increasing lack of respect for teachers... and that's a real problem. Some parents don't just question teachers, they teach their kids that it's ok to defy teachers. In this case, even the principal and MOE seem to be condoning the mother's disdain for the teacher.

What parents don't realise is that by undermining the teacher's authority, they're actually sabotaging their kids' education. Compounding this problem is the fact that some parents (and even principals) expect teachers to treat their students as customers. This is just wrong. Students are not customers, they are charges. You give a customer what he wants, you give a charge what he needs. If the charge needs to be disciplined, he should be, in a fair and appropriate manner.

I think people often confuse respect with rightness. Students should learn respect for their teachers, not because the latter is always right. The same way that we expect our kids to respect us, even though we sometimes make wrong decisions or do stupid things, so should our kids accord respect to teachers. It's a right teachers have earned simply for who they are and what they do.

Only when we understand and abide by this principle, then can our teachers be empowered to do the enormous job they've been tasked with - educate our kids.

Teaching that inspires

Before the school holidays ended, we made time for a family movie night. The chosen flick was Mr Holland's Opus. Set from 1965-1995, it's about Glenn Holland, a professional musician who starts teaching music at a local high school thinking it would give him time to compose his own music.

Initially, he is unable to make any inroads in teaching but over time, grows to become an adept teacher. The story also outlines his struggles coming to terms with having a deaf son. After 30 years of teaching, the music programme at the school is cancelled, putting Mr Holland out of a job and leaving him wondering if he had wasted his life.

There are several reasons why I love this movie. One, Mr Holland, played by Richard Dreyfuss, is portrayed as not your typical, idealistic individual but a very real, down to earth teacher with human failings that anyone can identify with.

Second, I like that Mr Holland is a music teacher. Just like in Singapore, music and other "soft" subjects are considered non essential in the US and this comes through in the movie. I love this quote towards the end of the movie, when the Vice-Principal broke the news to Mr Holland that the music programme was being canned:

VP: I care about these kids just as much as you do. And if I'm forced to choose between Mozart and reading and writing and long division, I choose long division.

Mr Holland: Well, I guess you can cut the arts as much as you want, Gene. Sooner or later, these kids aren't going to have anything to read or write about.

It's inspiring without being saccharine and overly dramatic, like many American attempt-to-feel-good movies.

Maybe I love it so much because it has so many parallels in real life. When Mr Holland started out as a teacher, it was simply out of necessity and he left the kids cold. It was only when he grew to love teaching and his students that he touched so many of them.

I've discovered that the best teachers are often not the ones who know the best methods. Andre has had teachers who no doubt, know how to teach. But some of them have completely turned him off lessons because they teach with the impersonal indifference of someone merely executing a task.

Kids are very perceptive. They know who are the teachers who care and who are the ones who don't give a damn. (Andre's friend had a math teacher who openly declared to the class after a frustrating session, "I don't care if you understand this, I still get paid.")

That's why I'm totally against those who go into teaching purely to chase a career path. Teaching is a calling, much like nursing. If you're annoyed by kids, you'll quickly find them a burden in your life and these kids will be left uninspired and unimpressed.

Schools may be surprised to know this but it's also not about how strict the teachers are. I've consistently found that the best-loved teachers, some of whom are the fiercest human beings around, are the ones who have a heart for the kids and truly want the kids to do well. The ones who love the kids they teach will find ways to motivate them to do better. The ones who don't, well, even with the best techniques, will leave the children disinterested. It's time we realise that learning is less about methods and more about attitudes.

This year, both Lesley-Anne and Andre have been assigned excellent teachers, for which I'm deeply thankful. In fact, when Lesley-Anne heard the names of Andre's teachers, she went, "wah, strike lottery!"

Indeed, getting good teachers is like striking lottery, since every school, no matter how good, will have its fair share of good and not-so-good teachers. I can think of few things in our children's school life as important as the quality of teachers. It is infinitely more important than the brand of the school or the range of its facilities.

So, back to Mr Holland's Opus. Do watch it, if you haven't already, for a dose of heart-warming inspiration. If I were the NIE, I would make all teachers-to-be watch this movie. In the end, it's not the grand gestures of teachers, just everyday little ones, that make a lasting impression.

"What the teacher is, is more important than what he teaches." ~Karl Menninger

I've got the music in me... maybe

A while back, I blogged about the ordeal that was Andre's Grade 5 theory exam. About that time, we also came to the decision that it was time for Andre's piano lessons to end.

It wasn't an easy decision. I had personally hoped that he would at least take piano lessons till the Grade 5 level (for practical) because before that, I believe it's hard to make a call if the child truly has no interest or if he merely doesn't like to put in the time for practice. I blogged about this philosophy here.

However, over the past year or so, the time pressures on Andre began to take their toll. What with school work, tuition and badminton training, he had hardly any free time left. He would practise the piano only when I nagged him to and at times, he would kick the piano in frustration or burst into tears when he couldn't get a piece right. It became increasingly obvious that something had to go - and piano lessons were at the bottom of the hierarchy.

I was pretty torn over this decision, especially since both Uncle Peter and I realise that Andre actually has an ear for music. But after the last set of tears, for the sake of his own sanity (and mine), I finally surrendered. I allowed Uncle Peter to sign him up for a Grade 4 practical exam, which he took on Tuesday, and that marked the end of this chapter.

I would say it wasn't in vain. For almost 5 years, Andre had some music drummed into him weekly by the wonderful Uncle Peter, who became more than a teacher but also a counsellor and friend. The two of them shared a fantastic relationship, it was common to hear laughter emanating from the room during piano lessons.

And of course, the music. More important than the ability to play the piano, Uncle Peter has managed to make Andre NOT hate music. In fact, when I asked Andre whether he would ever continue his lessons, he surprised me by saying he might take them up again in the future, though with the caveat that there be no exams.

That's good enough for me. Meanwhile, I made sure I recorded Andre playing his Grade 4 exam pieces. This might be the last time I'll ever hear him play anything!

1st piece



2nd piece



3rd piece

Let's try Mummy's Supplementary

Recently, there was some debate in the local media as to whether schools are being too kiasu in introducing supplementary classes from as early as p3. To me, this is one of those issues that will never find consensus. It irks me sometimes to hear people (usually non-parents) make dumb comments like, "Parents are impossible to please lah. Have also complain, don't have also complain." Well, duh, it's never the same set of parents!

I feel the parents who want the supplementary classes treat these the same way they treat tuition (which I wrote about here) - it's a crutch, since everyone else is doing it, their kids better do it too otherwise they'll lose out. Others just consider it free tuition, the more the merrier.

Andre's school implemented compulsory supplementary classes twice a week for p5 kids this year. Previously they only had supplementary classes for the top few classes and remedial classes for the bottom few but parents in the middle classes started complaining so they decided to institute a blanket rule for all.

Andre's schedule is already pretty packed, what with badminton training, piano lessons and Chinese and English tuition. So you can imagine I didn't welcome the news that he would have to attend supplementary classes.

Don't be mistaken, I'm not against supplementary classes per se, I'm just against herd mentality supplementary classes. Remedial classes work because they take place in small groups and target specific kids with specific weaknesses. The problem with most school supplementary classes is that they're really just extended curriculum sessions for the teacher to finish what she couldn't cover in class or do corrections, etc. Sometimes, teachers just dole out extra worksheets and then provide the answer key for kids to mark the work themselves.

I can't really blame the teachers, they have enough on their plates. Supplementary classes mean extra time and extra work for them. For the kids however, this is hardly productive. After 6 hours at school and a short lunch break, they have to sit down for another two hours of drills. I'm pretty sure very little real learning actually takes place. Worse still, by the time they reach home, they're mentally exhausted which means it's a challenge just to get them to finish homework, let alone do extra revision.

So after some heavy pondering, I wrote to his English and math teacher asking if Andre could be excused from the two supplementary classes. My rationale to them was that his two hours would be better spent with me doing one-on-one revision with him (which I would have to give up if he went for supplementary due to the sheer lack of time).

I was hopeful but not entirely optimistic the teachers would acquiesce since the classes were supposed to be compulsory. To my delight and surprise, both teachers agreed to my proposal. They were very understanding and said they would hand him any additional materials that were being done during supplementary classes. (Have I mentioned that I love this school?) I suppose one can construe that they're passing the buck to the parent but I appreciate that they're flexible enough to bend the rules when it makes sense. Not every teacher will do that.

I didn't ask for Andre to be let off Chinese supplementary class because that's one subject I can't help him with, and since the science class is held immediately before the Chinese one, it made sense logistically to let him attend that as well.

So now the onus is on me and I'll admit I'm a little nervous. It takes a great deal of gumption to believe that you can coach your child better than the school can and I'm not that brash to not have my moments of doubt. The CA1 is next week and I guess that's the acid test.

Meanwhile, even though Andre has to stay home and be drilled (and yelled at) by me as the price for missing his supplementary classes, he seems to be relishing it. A classmate asked him indignantly, "How come you don't have to go for supplementary?"

Andre replied with a broad smile, "I live a good life."