Skincare more than Ordinary

Today's post is quite uncharacteristic - it's on skincare. If you're like me, facing the onset of ageing skin, read on.

My skin is generally unproblematic but when the kids came along, I started getting breakouts. I tried different products, from the drugstore brands to high end ones. Some were ok, many of them broke me out even more, but none were really very spectacular, even the ones that came highly recommended.

Then a few years ago, I discovered Paula's Choice and that was a game changer. Paula's Choice is founded by Paula Begoun. who has been lambasting beauty companies for years, for selling skincare with unproven claims and at ridiculously doped up prices. In the best case scenario, some of these dubious ingredients do nothing for your skin, and in the worst case, are actually harmful. Or in some cases, the ingredients in the product actually do work, but exist in such small quantities or are inappropriately packaged, so that their effectiveness is negligible.

For example, did you know many ingredients, like Vitamin C, when exposed to air, quickly oxidise and lose their effectiveness? Worse, instead of being antioxidants, they become pro-oxidants, meaning they're harmful for your skin. You can tell this has happened when your Vitamin C serum turns orange. In other words, if your cream is packaged in a jar, once you open it, it instantly starts to be less effective. Your $100 jar of face cream might as well be a decorative ornament on your dresser. Pretty but useless.

Know that beauty products are not strictly regulated so companies can make any claims they want. "75% of users showed a reduction in wrinkles in 2 weeks!" Well, that could very well be 3 out of 4 of the company's friends. Nobody checks or sets rules for these claims.

Paula's Choice products use ingredients that have been scientifically proven to work. In her products, she lists what each ingredient is used for. Her packaging does not allow for oxidisation and she doesn't add loads of unnecessary preservatives and fragrance, which are potentially irritating to the skin.

For instance, when I first started breaking out in adult acne, I tried a cream by L'oreal that contained BHA (salicylic acid), because I read that BHAs are great for acne. Horrors! It gave me little bumps like eczema. So I thought I was allergic to BHA and stopped using it. Many year later, I decided to try the Paula's Choice 2% BHA gel and guess what, it is a fantastic cure for acne. Turns out it was probably poor formulation on the L'oreal product or additives that didn't agree with my skin. Paula's Choice BHA worked so well so me that I bought a bottle for Andre when he was suffering from bad acne on his back. It completely healed. From then, this is the go-to zit cream for the whole family.

Anyway, for many years, I stuck to a Paula's Choice regime of BHA, retinol and moisturiser. It has kept my skin pretty problem-free.

Then in the last year or so, my skin started morphing again. It got drier and yet, I would regularly get painful cystic acne - you know, those big angry zits that even when they dry up, leave inflamed bumps under your skin that take forever to go away. BHA didn't seem to work as well. My skin was "maturing". GAH. I had to change my makeup because it would cake badly under my eyes and settle into the gazillion lines I never knew I had. Things became worse when I started swimming regularly. All that chlorine and thick sunscreen turned my skin into a confused mess.

Enter The Ordinary from UK. It caught my eye when I chanced upon many bloggers raving about this new brand and its focus on skincare research and science. What's unusual about this brand is that most of their products are formulated with only one main ingredient each, to target a specific problem, with no additives, fragrance, etc. You might be thinking, one ingredient? How many would I need then to tackle multiple issues?

Well, that's the beauty of the brand. You can customise your regime based on what you need and layer them as you wish because their prices are DIRT CHEAP. Less than S$10 for a 30ml bottle of high concentration Vitamin C or retinol serum. The founder, Brandon Truaxe, is pretty extraordinary. He ditches fancy marketing and packaging to reduce costs, and every time he manages to negotiate better prices for raw ingredients, he passes the savings back to customers. The Ordinary's tagline is "clinical formulations with integrity" and you only have to do a Google search to read all the rave reviews by users. Their rivals are selling equivalent concentrations for up to 10 times the price. No wonder The Ordinary can't produce the items fast enough to keep them in stock.

I bought two items to try out: Alpha Lipoic Acid 5% and Vitamin C Suspension 23% + HA Spheres 2%. Now, both are very strong and people have reported stinging sensations when using them. But me, being overly optimistic, figured that since I've been a long-time user of BHA, Vitamin C and Retinol, I would be ok. More is best, right?

Alpha Lipoic Acid is both an exfoliant and an antioxidant. They tell you you can't use it more than 2-3 times a week. I will attest to its strength. The first time, I only used 3 drops for whole face and neck. Holy cow. The burn. I quickly put a soothing moisturiser on top but even then, the sting took a while to subside. Oh and it has a funky smell, like sulphur.

Same with the Vitamin C 23%. They warn you on the website that application is not pleasant because of the gritty bits and it might sting because of its high potency. Yes to both. Plus it goes on with an oily feel that doesn't quite go away, so some people may not like that.

So at first, I half regretted my decision, especially for the Vitamin C cream, because the application was so unpleasant. It's almost like suffering for beauty. Was it worth it? I was thinking that maybe I shouldn't have been quite so gung-ho and gone for lower, more tolerant formulas.

But I found out that if I mixed the serums with my usual moisturiser (as advised on the website) before applying, it didn't sting so much any more or feel sandy. Then after about a week and a half of using the two products, I woke up one day and suddenly noticed the row of remnant cystic acne bumps along my chin that had stubbornly plagued me for more than a month was imperceptible. Like magic. I peered into the mirror and realised that my skin was brighter and smoother than it had been for a long time.

WOWZERS. At that moment, I had to quell an overwhelming urge to run out (virtually) and buy every single product from The Ordinary. I mean, I still love Paula's Choice but some of their products are really expensive, and the price point of The Ordinary is just so darn attractive.

Of course I didn't lah. I just bought a few. And then a few more. Don't judge me.

If you're confused by the many options in skincare and don't know where to start, I've tried to simplify it for you. (I'm not addressing things like cleansing and toning, just the stuff you put on your skin).

If you really are the can't-be-bothered type and want to do the minimum, I'd say just use a moisturiser with sunscreen in the morning and one with retinol at night. 

But if you are like me, above 40, facing the unpleasant realities of ageing skin, and want to do something about it before you end up looking like a wrinkled prune, here's a mini skincare lesson. There are many good skincare ingredients, but an essential anti-ageing regime should incorporate these main "types" (for lack of a better word) of skin thingies.

Retinol

Retinol, to date, is the only ingredient has been scientifically proven to lessen fine lines and reduce acne. It is the gold standard in wrinkle reduction. NOTHING ELSE. Forget whatever new snake oil companies are trying to market. This is what dermatologists prescribe for acne and wrinkles.

The problem is that retinol, especially in high concentrations, is highly irritating. Many people have been known to purge and peel for days, even weeks before they see that baby soft skin. This article explains retinol pretty comprehensively.

The Ordinary sells 6 different retinoid products, 3 of which are with Granactive Retinoid - an advanced form of retinol with all the goodness of retinol but without the irritation. I suggest you try these instead. Do note that retinoids make your skin sensitive to the sun, so use them only at night.

Exfoliants

Exfoliants are AHAs or BHAs that get rid of dead skin cells, unclog pores and reduce acne and blackheads, thus improving the texture of your skin. It's good to use this a few times a week. As mentioned, my family uses Paula's Choice 2% BHA for acne with much success.

However, like with retinol, if you're not used to exfoliants, you can also end up peeling before your skin heals. Technology has since uncovered new types of exfoliants that are even gentler on the skin. The Ordinary now offers Azelaic Acid and Mandelic Acid, both of which work like exfoliants but without the typical side effects.

Vitamin C

Once you hit a certain age, you realise with horror that the age spots you used to see on little old ladies now appear on you (ie you have become that little old lady). You curse all the times you were garang and refused to carry an umbrella while walking in the sun (because very "auntie") or the times you forgot to wear sunscreen.

If retinol is the gold standard for reducing wrinkles, then Vitamin C is the counterpart for reducing dark spots. Believe it or not, The Ordinary has 8 different products with Vitamin C, with different strengths and formulations. Talk about an over-achiever. Similarly, Vitamin C makes your skin sensitive to the sun so either wear sunscreen on top or use it only at night.

To reduce the confusion as to which one might be suitable for you, read their Vitamin C guide.

Moisturisers

Personally, I find this category really boring, so I try to use serums that multi-task in this area. Sometimes, I just skip this altogether if my serums have hydrating ingredients. If you need a moisturiser, The Ordinary has some very affordable ones with natural moisturising ingredients that you might like.


And that ends my very long post on skincare. I will try out the other items from The Ordinary and may review them on this blog if enough people are interested.

If you're not used to acids or retinol, don't be greedy and start with the lower concentrations. Otherwise you might end up peeling like an orange and having to hibernate at home for a few weeks.

I bought my earlier batch from Beauty Bay - you get free delivery to Singapore if you spend just S$28. Or you can also buy from Cult Beauty or LookFantastic (smallest range but no minimum for free shipping). They're always out of stock, so be patient. 

If you want to try Paula's Choice instead, use this referral code to get a $10 coupon: http://i.refs.cc/v2j0UikY?u=1525157486660. The online store is offering free shipping on any purchase for the month of May.

You know I'm not a beauty blogger so none of my products were sponsored. I'm blogging about it because all good things should be shared. Let me know if you've enjoyed reading this, ok?

Pain, my foot

Ever since Andre started playing badminton in school at p2, he's complained of pain in his heels. His coach said the muscles and tendons in his feet were probably very tight and set him some stretching exercises.

Then as he grew older, he would often complain of pain in his soles after running, walking or standing, even for a short period of time. When he went on his secondary school badminton camp night walk (which was around 20km), he would start limping after 2km or so, even while wearing two pairs of socks. We thought he might have flat feet but his feet looked normal to our laymen eyes, so we dismissed it and told him to keep stretching.

Before he started poly, we finally decided to send him to a podiatrist to check out his feet. We took the polyclinic route and received a referral to Geylang Polyclinic which has a podiatrist clinic. Well, there's a reason we parents are not doctors because the podiatrist took one look at Andre's feet and declared that he was "extremely flat-footed".

Flat feet (or fallen arches) is a condition where the feet don't have a natural arch. Because of this, pain is often experienced with prolonged standing, walking or running. In fact, high impact sports like badminton, with constant jumping. can trigger severe pain.

I'll tell you what else it triggers - it triggers severe feelings of guilt in parents. Because we have dismissed the problem and let him do sports in pain all these years. 😱😱

Of course, I glibly told him, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!" And "better late than never!" (When in doubt, spout idioms.)

The podiatrist recommended a few ways to remedy the problem. One of them was stretches but the most impactful method was making special insoles to correct the fallen arches. According to him,  some flat-footers can get away with buying off-the-shelf shoes with arch support, but Andre's condition was pretty severe and would function best with insoles customised specially for his feet.

Geylang Polyclinic takes the dimension for the insoles on the spot, using special equipment that scans the feet.

The scans are then sent to Australia where the insoles are custom-made. They're not cheap - $260 per pair. Ouch! However, I later found out that this price is much lower than what you'd have to pay at private specialist clinics. Anyway, the insoles can last three years even with daily wear, and can be removed to fit other pairs of shoes, so I guess you get your money's worth.

Funny aside: The morning of the appointment before we left home, Andre asked me if he needed to "dress up". Of course I said no. Why would one need to dress up to go to the podiatrist? It was only when we were sitting in the waiting room that I noticed his t-shirt had two big holes at the shoulder. Alamak!

On the plus side, as someone told me, maybe the podiatrist took pity on him and gave him a discount on the insoles.

Andre has been wearing shoes with his new insoles for the past few months and they work like magic. He no longer experiences pain when standing for prolonged periods, which was a life-saver when he was working as a waiter. I guess you could say the insoles got him back on his feet...literally.

Let's talk about sex, baby

Yesterday, The New Paper ran a story about how some NUS orientation camps have become increasingly sexualised. Some of the activities the kids had to do were just plain disturbing. Even when I was in NUS yonks ago, there was a tendency to push activities down the boy-girl route. I remember in the NUSSU camp, a musical chairs game where the boys were the "chairs" and the girls had to sit on their laps. That was as far as it got though and considered mild by today's standards, if the news reports are anything to go by.

But more than the games themselves, which are horrible enough, what's even more appalling to me is that the students who organised these games didn't see what's wrong. In this mothership.sg article, there were students who said some girls just like to complain, accused them of being narrow-minded, or said they could simply sit out, what's the big deal.

It IS a big deal. And it bugs me to see that 21-year-old men who have served NS and considered adults, are unable to see that trivialising rape culture and objectifying women are NOT OK. It reminds me of those frat parties in the US where your alpha males and females will subject noobs to demeaning activities so they can belong to a club. I suspect it's the same here - just a small group of individuals looking to boost their own egos and power by humiliating the freshmen. It's called bullying. Why should someone, who joined an orientation camp to get to know more people and the university, have to choose to sit out of doing a cheer? Just because someone thought it was funny to put in dirty words? By the way, that's not adult. That's extremely juvenile.

Part of the problem I feel, can be attributed to the woefully lacking sex education programme we have in Singapore. Unless you have enlightened parents who tell you what you need to know at home, you're going to learn nothing in school. Or at least, random bits and pieces that you struggle to make sense of yourself, usually in whispers among friends. In sec3, Lesley-Anne had a sex ed session in school. This was the video shown: a girl wanted to sleep with this guy who, unbeknownst to her, previously had unprotected sex with a prostitute. Both of them lie side by side on a bed fully clothed. They go under a pink blanket and emerge 2 seconds later, still fully clothed and not even touching each other. Voila! Two weeks later, they both have HIV and are going to die.

When Lesley-Anne told me about this video, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. It's ludicrous beyond belief. What is the message we're sending to the confused kids? "You can have sex in 2 seconds without taking off your clothes!" "Sex leads to death!" "Pink blankets are dangerous!"

Lesley-Anne's teacher tried to make the session more educational by allowing for questions but the students were too afraid to ask much. One girl finally asked "How does it work?" (meaning sex). Unfortunately, the teacher thought she was trolling and didn't answer the question.

So here's the thing: why do we assume that kids know how sex works? Oh sure, most of them know the dictionary definition but how can that even be enough to address the messy and complex issue of sex? For example, the definition for oral sex is "to sexually stimulate orally". For a long time, Lesley-Anne thought that meant talking dirty or kissing. When you think about it, it does sound logical. How would you know what it was if nobody explained it to you?

By the time the students hit JC, the school assumes (wrongly) that the kids would know the mechanics of sex, so once again, sex ed is focused on the dangers of STDS, complete with graphic images meant to make the students wince. In fact, the talk Lesley-Anne attended harped on and on about the dangers of sex, how you can get pregnant, get all kinds of diseases and how even tests for STDs can be false negatives! By the way, it's so ironic that her JC principal at other times tell the students that it's their responsibility in the future to "go and procreate for Singapore".

This skewed form of sex ed means that most kids only have a vague idea about sex and are afraid to ask since the message they've been receiving is that it's dangerous and downright wrong. I feel that in Singapore, MOE is pressured to preach abstinence, either by religious groups or proponents of the "Asian values" camp. Hence, sex ed here is very moralistic and focuses on STDs instead of real information.

I think we've gotten all muddled because we're unable to distinguish between values and fact. Abstinence is a value. It is a choice to be yielded by the individual. It should not influence information-giving. I find it terribly parochial how some people feel national messages and programmes should only provide information in line with their own values. I especially take issue with alarmists who think teaching children about sex is encouraging them to have pre-marital sex. Aiyoh. That's like saying since I advise my daughter not to walk in alleyways after dark, I don't have to teach her how to defend herself. In fact, I shouldn't teach her cos that would make her want to go out walking after dark!

Do parents honestly think that in this age, they can realistically enforce abstinence by withholding information? When kids can't get information from official channels, they turn to unofficial ones - mostly friends (who are equally in the dark) and well, porn. And that's why you have student orientation leaders who think it's fun and perfectly ok to simulate rape and ejaculation, and get girls to lick cream off a boy's bare chest.

Sex is such a multi-faceted issue and the level of ignorance (coupled with the raging hormones) among our youth is simply trouble waiting to happen. Schools have the opportunity to educate students about sex - properly, responsibly and factually...and they're not doing that. We need to teach our kids what sex entails, how it affects them physically, emotionally and mentally, and also very important related concepts such as consent. Not constant fear-mongering.

As parents, it's up to us to cultivate the values we want in our kids. Honestly, if you're afraid that your child will engage in pre-marital sex once she knows more about it, then perhaps it's time to examine why the values weren't that well embedded at home in the first place. On the contrary, good sex ed teaches you how to value your body and yourself, and treating others with respect. That's a good thing and that's what we need for our kids.

You are what you eat

If, as they say, you are what you eat, then essentially, I'm a chicken. Oh wait, that's my Chinese zodiac animal! Cluck.

In our household, we eat very well, thanks to our long-time helper who has a fantastic knack for cooking. Her Chinese recipe repertoire, learnt from my mil, is pretty impressive. Anything from stir fried beef and popiah to curry chicken and char siew.

Sweet and sour pork

Kong bak pau

She's equally adept in the western food department, from recipes I've given her over the years. Shepherd's pie, lasagna, boeuf bourguignon - she's got them under her belt. She also makes a mean oxtail stew with mash. Better than the one from Jack's Place, in my opinion!

And just when we thought her cooking couldn't get any better, she ventured into Indian, learning from her friends who have Indian employers. Here was the spread she laid out for a gathering - mutton curry, brinjal curry, fried chicken and chickpea salad with homemade chapati.

So as you can imagine, we're very much foodies in our household. We'd never been part of the healthy eating camp just cos we love our food too much (and so much of what's bad for you tastes so good!)

Only Lesley-Anne was very careful about her diet and that kinda happened by accident. When my kids were young, I tried to impose vegetables at every meal (okay, every dinner). Actually, since we adults weren't so keen on the veggies either, it was usually a half-hearted attempt and if they'd eaten a few strands, we'd let it pass. I know, bad role models, us parents! Andre would eat his favourite dishes first, then plead to be let off his veg. Lesley-Anne however, who believes in saving the best for last, would always eat her veg first even though she didn't like it. Through this habit, she astonishingly enough, grew to love veg, so much so that when we eat out, we have to order veg for her. As time went by, she become more conscientious about taking care of her body. She would religiously work out and watch her diet, especially over the past year.

Then earlier this year, Kenneth's doctor advised him to cut out simple carbs from his diet to improve his health. That's when I realised this constant throwing caution to the wind regarding our food intake could not go on forever. We're not spring chickens any more and much as I would like to deny it, I knew this uncontrolled intake of sugar would only have detrimental effects.

When I suggested we make some changes at home, Lesley-Anne of course, cheered. Quite to my surprise, Andre instantly agreed as well. Influenced by his sister, he had started recognising the benefits of eating healthier. Since my mil lives with us, we had to go slow because I was afraid she wouldn't be used to the new taste. We began by changing white bread to wholemeal bread. My mil didn't take to the grainy wholemeal taste so we found an alternative - Sunshine Extra Fine Sprouted Wholemeal bread. It's still wholemeal but the bread is soft so it works for everyone.

Next was the rice. I wanted to change the rice to brown rice but again, I was afraid I would face resistance from my mil, since she's from that generation that believes unrefined food is inferior. Then out of the blue, one day she told me that if I felt changing to unrefined rice would be better for the family, she was open to it. That taught me never to assume anything! That pioneer generation is hardier than we like to believe.

So we tried the Fairprice Thai Rice Blend - a mix of white, brown and red rice. And whadya know, everyone in the family loves it! Andre declared it tastier than white rice (which he was never a fan of to begin with) and for the first time, started having second helpings of rice at dinner. It definitely has more flavour and more bite.

We're trying to take things one step at a time. More veg, less fried food. I have to say it's a lot easier when you have the support of the whole family. I'm most encouraged by Andre's attitude. First, you need to know that Andre loves food. I mean it - he lives for food. This is a boy who can't remember when his exam is but can recall what he ate at a restaurant four years ago. When we go to Sushi Express, he easily polishes off 17 plates. That's 34 pieces of sushi, by the way.

Pic from 2 years ago

Yet, he has embraced this healthy approach with gusto, for which I'm very proud of him. One Saturday, I brought him and Kenneth to my chef friend Tat Hon's restaurant The Bento People for brunch. I had written a review of the restaurant previously, about how I was pleasantly surprised to find that healthy food could actually taste good!

I was a little apprehensive but I needn't have been. The food there is honestly so tasty that my two boys gobbled it up and were happy campers. Since then, Andre has been clamouring to go back, so we returned again last Saturday.

This is our favourite combi - brown rice, salmon and broccoli in green curry. It's amazingly delicious and satisfying, and fills you up all the way till dinner. I suspect the Bento People will become one of our regular brunch haunts.

As Tat Hon once told me, make the change when you can still make the choice, not when illness strikes and you have no choice but to make the change. This way, the healthy transition will be more painless and once your palate adjusts to the taste of natural foods, you might find that you never want to go back to the processed and refined options.

Slow and steady, we'll get there!

Just what the Doc ordered

A couple of weeks ago, I received an unexpected email. Chan Tat Hon, the chef of the Snack Culture Company, invited me to his restaurant for dinner. In case you're not aware, the Snack Culture Company serves by reservation-only omakase degustation dinners.

I was pleasantly surprised but also a little perplexed. I'm not a food blogger and I don't have thousands of followers. I don't, as a general rule, get dining invitations, let alone one from a chef. And for a fancy meal some more. The cynical me replied that I would love to accept his invitation but quickly qualified that I can't tell one spice from another and won't be able to write a brilliant review. Must set expectations up front mah.

Tat Hon explained that he liked my blog and he wanted to meet me, and not to worry, he wasn't looking for a food review (though he did want me to try his food). Phew! Ok then. But a 9-course degustation meal is not exactly conducive for chatting with the chef, so he invited me to lunch as well.

Background: The Snack Culture Company operates only for dinner Thurs-Sat nights. For lunch, the restaurant operates as The Bento People. It serves healthy food in a novel way, bento style. You pick three dishes out of a list that you like, ideally one protein, one veg and one grain.

The price depends on what dishes you pick.

Turns out, Tat Hon used to be a medical doctor and made several career switches before becoming a chef. He wants The Bento People to inspire people to eat healthier and show them that healthy food can taste good.

So here's the thing - healthy eating and I don't exactly have the best relationship. Steamed food in large doses is bland. I like chicken thighs, not chunky chicken breasts. And green is my least favourite colour on a plate. If a vegetarian restaurant had to depend on my patronage, it would have a slimmer chance of survival than someone coming face to face with a grizzly bear armed only with a can opener.

The restaurant looked interesting but...but...it's a healthy eating place leh. What if I don't like the food? I know! I decided I would stick to the safest items. I studied the menu online and decided I would go with 1) Salmon - I quite like salmon. 2) Potato - I like carbs! 3) Ok lah, must choose one veg or he will surely scold me. I was curious about quinoa and the quinoa salad comes with grapes, beans and nuts, all of which I don't mind. Set!

So last Wednesday, I made my way to The Bento People at CT Hub in Kallang. The restaurant is bright and airy with a fresh ambience. I had told Tat Hon that I wouldn't disturb him if he was busy working, so when I arrived, I parked myself at a corner table as inconspicuously as possible and surreptitiously ticked my orders on the form. Salmon, potato and quinoa salad. Check, check and check.

But plans foiled. The Doc (as he's commonly called) was at the dining area (apparently he mingles with guests when he isn't too busy) and spotted me immediately. He came over, commandeered my pre-meditated order list and said authoritatively, "no, no, I order for you."

"B-but..."

"Don't take the potato lah. You try this instead..." Tick.

Splutters..."But carb..."

"Do you eat spicy food?"

"No, not really..."

"You didn't order whole grain? I let you try two types." Tick.

Slight panic. "Don't order too much! I'm a small eater! Cannot finish!"

"Tasting portions only! Don't worry."

At this point, I blurted out, "Are you going to watch me eat?" See ah, sometimes I get confused between what's in my head and what comes out of my mouth.

He was very gracious. "No, no! I let you eat in peace." But I didn't go there to eat by myself so I invited him to join me if he hadn't had lunch. He hadn't.

So this was my bento:

Left to right: Quinoa salad, Tunisian shakshuka and salmon with Greek tzatziki. And he also brought me an extra bowl to try two types of rice - red rice and brown rice.

So pretty, right? What a riot of colours! And completely different from what I would normally order.

And here's the Doc. Sorry, can't remember what's in his bento. One of them was a tom yum minestrone, I think.

So I ate. To be honest, I was afraid I wouldn't like the food. Then I'd be faced with that awful dilemma of having to tell this nice man that healthy food and I really buay ngam, doctor's orders or not.

But...I LOVED the food. Really. I'm not just saying it. I quickly realised that it's not just the flavours of each individual dish - it's also the combination you choose and how the dishes complement each other. The salad is light and tangy, the shakshuka spicy and hearty, the salmon refreshing against the creaminess of the yoghurt. Together, they're a wonderful blend. I ate the dishes in turn to taste the flavours together, like some OCD nut. I was very surprised by the red and brown rice. The red rice is cooked Chinese olive style and the brown rice with butter. Both are extremely tasty - I could eat them on their own.

Of the three dishes, the one I would probably not order again is the shakshuka, not because I didn't like it but because it's very rich (there's a poached egg in the middle of the veggie stew) and one portion is too much to finish. The quinoa salad is very, very, very good. The complexity of textures - crunchy nuts and beans against fluffy quinoa and sweet grapes...really very nice lor (told you I'm not a food blogger).

But the star of the show for me was the salmon.

I prefer my salmon raw, ie sashimi style. I don't mind cooked salmon but it's usually not my first choice of protein. This salmon was seriously out of this world. It was flaky, sweet and delicate and the inside was almost like eating sashimi. HEAVEN. Later, the Doc told me he only buys sashimi-grade salmon. Wow. My only complaint? Too small, haha. 

Having passed the test, we chatted after lunch over coffee (yes, he serves coffee too and yes, he has sugar! I asked!) We talked for quite a long time about all kinds of stuff, from food to blogging to career moves. We also chatted about our faith (we're both Christians) and how we have a phobia of OTT declarations. The Doc has recently started a blog sharing his journey and here's a particularly inspiring post I like. If you've ever felt discouraged and wondered if God is still working in your life, go read it.

Anyway, I had an enjoyable afternoon and it was only after I left that I realised we'd forgotten to take a wefie. Doh!

I'll probably bring Lesley-Anne back to The Bento People at some point. She's the lone advocate of healthy eating in our family (sometimes I wonder if the stork dropped her off at the wrong address) and am sure she'll love the food.

If I ever do make it to the degustation dinner at the Snack Culture, will blog about it. Meanwhile, if you're in the mood for some tasty, wholesome lunch, drop by The Bento People and say hi to the Doc for me!

The Bento People
#02-17, CT Hub, 2 Kallang Avenue (339407)

Tel: 6443 2006

Opening Hours:
Make Your Own Healthy Bento

Lunch : Monday - Saturday: 11.30am - 3pm 

Dinner : Monday - Friday: 5.45pm - 8.45pm

Colour my world

I always thought I knew Lesley-Anne inside out but the day before her 18th birthday, she shared with me something about herself that caused a little explosion in my head. She told me she had synesthesia.

You're probably thinking, "Syne-what??" I know, I said the same thing.

Background: since Lesley-Anne was very young (maybe about 6 or 7), she has told me that she sees letters and numbers in colour. Because it was always mentioned in passing, I'd never taken it seriously. I've even told her I feel the same as I do think that an 'A' looks better in red than in yellow, for example. However, I didn't know that in her case, it was almost literal - she sees specific letters in specific colours in her mind.

Just to clarify, it's not a case of mistaking colours. When she reads a book, she knows it's black print on white paper. However, she occasionally gets flashes of a word in colour and if she pictures a letter or word in her head, it's in colour. And the colours (with their specific shades) she associates with those letters are unchanging over time eg. 'A' and 'M' are always red, 'D' is green. I told her to type out for me the letters in the actual colours she sees in her head, and here they are:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Lower case letters are one shade lighter than their capitalised companions.

However, she sees the individual colours only for letters. Words work a little differently because when we read, we process words, not individual letters. So when she sees a word, the colour tends to be the one most prominent in the word or the first letter of the word, especially if it's capitalised. Eg Mummy has three 'M's so it appears red to her.

But what was astonishing to me (and Lesley-Anne) was that she never realised that it was an actual neurological condition with a name. She thought everyone else experienced the same thing, partly because I had been nonchalant about it. Trying to justify my reaction now, I told her, "well, would you have preferred growing up thinking you were abnormal?" Although throughout the conversation when she was explaining to me what she experienced, I told her she was weird several times. Making up for lost time.

How she found out was that she casually mentioned it to a classmate. Her classmate told her, "You see what? Oh, it's called synesthesia!" (She was stunned that her friend knew this and her friend was equally stunned that Lesley-Anne didn't.) So apparently, there are many kinds of synesthesia, which is a neurological phenomenon where the stimulation of one sensory or cognitive pathway leads to an involuntary experience in another pathway. Some people see colours when they hear certain sounds, others associate them with specific tastes. You can read some of the theories of how synesthesia develops here. Lesley-Anne has grapheme-colour synesthesia, which is one of the more common forms of synesthesia - associating colours with letters and numbers. I found an interesting first person account of how synesthesia helped him with spelling here.

Incidentally, the colour she associates with each letter would be different from someone else with synesthesia. That's why when she sees signs where each letter in a word is coloured differently, that bugs her because the shades would not be the same colours she associates the letters with. It's kinda like imposing your synesthesia on others. If you suspect you might have synesthesia, here's a free online test you can take.

Anyway, that's how I discovered something completely new about my daughter, just before her 18th birthday. And coincidentally, since we're on the topic of colours, this was one of the gifts Kenneth and I got her this year:

Adult colouring books are all the rage now and we thought it would be a great gift for her to de-stress, since she's under so much pressure this year. There are many such books in the market, we chose this one - Color Me Happy. It's really great value. You get 100 intricate pictures to colour in and the pages are made from thick, quality paper to minimise bleeding if you use markers.

Lesley-Anne tried out a page and she loved it. She said it was very therapeutic. It does make me happy just looking at the vibrant shades. (Tip: you can get a set of 30 markers for just $2 at Daiso!)

So my baby girl is now 18. She can now legally drink and drive (separately, not together), not that she's inclined to do either. "I got EZ-link card, no need to drive!" she declared. When Kenneth offered her a sip of shandy ("only 0.5% alcohol!"), she made a face and declined. She really is a guai kia.

Happy birthday, Lesley-Anne! May God release rainbow hues of blessings on you and may your life always be colourful ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Gooey, fudgy brownies

Ever since the start of this year, Andre's appetite has exploded. He now eats the equivalent of two persons, so it can be quite a costly affair bringing him out for meals! At a recent trip to Sushi Express, our family of four chalked up a total of 32 plates of sushi, half of which was wolfed down by Andre. That's 32 pieces of sushi.

I didn't grow up around teenage boys so this voracious appetite is new territory for me. In fact, I was a little sceptical at first. Is Andre really going through a growth spurt or just a fat phase? Anecdotes from other parents have convinced me that it's most likely the former. Phew! Otherwise, I'd seriously have something to worry about. Eg. this was Andre's lunch yesterday:

Two pork chops with mashed potatoes and a heaped plate of spaghetti, followed by fruit and a glass of milk. A friend who's worried about her "tek-kor" son asked me how to cultivate such an appetite. I told her in all honesty, no need to cultivate. Just wait till he's 13 or 14, then boom! Bottomless pit!

Anyway, this isn't a post about my son's gastronomic habits, as you can probably tell from the title. It's been a long time since I posted a recipe. You might have guessed that cooking isn't exactly my thing. But since it's the school holidays and I now have an eating monster at home, I decided to bake brownies.

In the past, I thought the best brownies had to be made with chocolate, which put me off a little because it's expensive and I don't keep baking chocolate bars at home. Then I came across a recipe that said the best fudgy brownies with a chewy top are actually made with cocoa powder, not chocolate. Well! That's easy then. I usually have cocoa powder somewhere. So I tried it out and lo and behold, it was really good. So good that the first batch was walloped by me and the kids in one sitting. So the next time, I made another batch - this time a double. At least it lasted a couple of days.

The best part about making brownies is its simplicity. The ingredients are straightforward and it's a mix-everything-into-one-bowl (well, almost) kind of recipe. You don't even need to use a beater.

So here's my version of the recipe. It's a double portion and I tweaked it to reduce the sweetness. I also added chocolate chips cos I have this strange belief that everything tastes better with chocolate chips:

Ingredients:

• 290g unsalted butter, melted
• 400g caster sugar
• 160ml unsweetened cocoa powder
• ½ tsp salt
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 4 large eggs, cold
• 140g plain flour, sifted
• chocolate chips or nuts (optional)

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 165 degrees C.  Grease the bottom and sides of 13"x8" baking pan.

2. Combine melted butter, sugar, cocoa and salt. Stir until mixture is smooth. Don't worry if it looks gritty.

3. Stir in vanilla. Add the eggs one at a time, stirring vigorously after each one. 

4. When the batter looks thick, shiny and well blended, add the flour and stir until well mixed. Then beat vigorously for 40 strokes with a wooden spoon or spatula. 

5. Stir in the chocolate chips or nuts.  

6. Spread evenly in pan. 

7. Bake for about 30 minutes or until a skewer in centre emerges slightly moist with batter.

It really does have that chewy, candy-like crust and a gooey centre. When warm, it's quite light so if you like your brownies dense, you might prefer it cold. My kids love eating this straight from the fridge.
 

Mars and Venus

The other day, I asked Andre what topic he was studying in school for science. He told me human reproduction and then followed it up with "it's the most horrible topic ever".

I thought oh, it's probably because he doesn't like to hear the gory details about the birds and the bees, or maybe it's the pictures that embarrass him. Here's a boy who can't hear the word "boob" without covering his ears and emitting a squeal.

Instead, he looked at me accusingly and said, "Your menu-station cycle lah! So complicated! So many different days to remember! And all those words to spell! Like ovulation and o-estrogen!" (He pronounced the 'o').

I almost felt obliged to apologise on behalf of all womankind.

Recently, I was looking at photos of our past holidays and realised how much Andre had grown from his relative height and size with Lesley-Anne.

This was June 2012:

June 2013:

And June 2014:

The funny thing is now that Andre's taller and larger than Lesley-Anne, he's passing her sports t-shirts that he has outgrown. Lesley-Anne accepts them with grace but muses that there's something very unglam about wearing hand-me-downs from one's YOUNGER brother.

However, despite his physical growth over the past two years, Andre is still very much a child at heart. He has given me advanced notice that he intends to be a bachelor forever because a girlfriend or wife would just take up his time and spend his money. "How am I going to have cute grandchildren, then?" I pouted. "Go ask jie jie," he replied adamantly.

I've not given up hope yet. Maybe once the hormones hit him full swing, hearts will start swimming in front of his eyes. While he's no heart throb, I think he's shaping up to be quite a pleasant looking chap (ok, mother's bias) so maybe a couple of girls will start looking his way sometime in the future. They'll probably need to be a lot more obvious than flutter their eyelashes though. And if they're smart, they won't use the word "boob".

No longer boy boy, not yet a man

Watching Andre develop over the past year has been interesting. Many boys hit puberty and start transforming into unrecognisable beings at about age 12 or 13, and I've heard from some friends that their sons turned into strangers once they became teenagers. So I was curious as to whether the same phenomenon would hit Andre.

I had always thought that puberty in boys occur when their voices break so I was surprised when I read an article last year and found out that puberty actually happens much earlier. This article is pretty useful if you want to find out more about puberty in boys. In essence, there are five stages of puberty and voice-breaking actually marks stage 3.

Based on the article, I figure Andre is somewhere in stage 2. In the past 12 months, he has grown about 10cm. He's finally taller than Lesley-Anne and comparing photos from a year ago, I can clearly see that both his face and body have become less babyish. He has also become rather clumsy and his longer limbs add to the lack of coordination. He's constantly bumping into furniture and walls and we can hear him muttering, "Stupid gorilla arms!" Even though his voice has grown deeper, it hasn't cracked. (He can still muster up a squeal worthy of Kristin Chenoweth).

I think many boys of this age are surprised by their own physical development. Andre has a primary school classmate whom he met recently at a badminton friendly between schools. This friend, who used to be rather pudgy, is now taller than 1.7m and speaks with an impressive baritone. The friend told him rather delightedly, "I used to do so many situps but no use. I was still fat. Now I do a few and BOOM! Abs!"

I've always known this to be true - physical and mental maturity do not always go hand in hand. Cognitively, Andre's still as childish as ever. He's 13 but he still finds girls annoying (especially when they pat his head and call him "cute"). It's quite funny. I don't have to pre-screen movies because he's terribly embarrassed by love scenes. He will self-censor by throwing a cushion over his eyes, saying, "Yuck! Sick! Tell me when it's over!" He even refuses to watch Disney cartoon characters kiss which baffles me. I mean, those shows are for little kids, right? When we're walking in a mall and go past a lingerie shop, he will make squeamish noises and shield his eyes, much to our amusement. 

Recently, I asked him whether there were any BGRs in his class. He thought for a bit and told me quite a few boys were interested in two girls.

Me: "Wah, only two girls? How come they're so special?"

Andre (looks blank): "How would I know?" 

Me: "Well, are they very pretty?"

Andre (shrugs): "I dunno."

Me (channeling the persistent mum): "Do they have long hair?"

Andre: (looks totally confused): "Long hair? What's that got to do with anything??"

Maybe this is mean, but I laughed very hard at his cluelessness. And secretly, I hope he'll be clueless for a little longer yet.

Braces off!

Almost a year ago on 31 December 2012, Andre had braces fitted because his top front teeth jutted out at an angle that affected his jaw growth. This meant that he often went around with his mouth slightly open because the overbite was so severe. Here's a picture of him a year ago.

 

Due to certain circumstances, we ended up with a different orthodontist for Andre than Lesley-Anne. This orthodontist is pretty pricey and we wouldn't have gone to her if not for the fact that Kenneth knew her and she gave us a discount. Even so, the bills sometimes made us feel faint! I'm pretty sure we paid for the ornamental fish tank and other furniture in the clinic. :o

We expected the braces to be on for at least two years, since that was the case with Lesley-Anne. However, this orthodontist is some miracle worker because yesterday, Andre's braces were ready to come off! Just under a year! I thought this was pretty much unheard of. So maybe, you do get what you pay for afterall.

We're terribly pleased with the results. His teeth sit so nicely now and the gaps from the extractions have completely closed up. As for Andre, he's just glad that there will be no more tightening and no more bouts of porridge and fish soup!

A mega-watt smile for Christmas :)

Tooth or dare

Three years ago after Lesley-Anne's PSLE, we brought her to have her braces done. It was the ideal time as she had practically three months of holiday before secondary school, without any major event happening - ample time to get used to braces.

As luck would have it, both my kids ended up needing braces. Andre has a pretty bad overbite, meaning his top teeth extend too far outwards over his bottom teeth. According to the orthodontist, a normal person's top front teeth are 2mm from the bottom teeth. Andre's gap is a whopping 8mm, which has implications on his gum health and jaw growth.

We were hoping to bring Andre to the orthodontist after his PSLE, as with Lesley-Anne but he still had a baby molar that had not erupted, so we thought braces couldn't be done. This was a mistake on our part. When we finally brought him in end December, we were told that he could have fitted the braces earlier, even with that baby tooth intact.

Never mind. We consoled ourselves that he had at least enjoyed all the holiday feasting without pain.

Also unlike Lesley-Anne, Andre needed extractions. His jaw was too small to contain his massive teeth and this led to them growing like weeds in haphazard fashion, occupying whatever gaps they could find.  Instead of prolonging the pain, he chose to have all the extractions done in one sitting, to get them over and done with. So on 31 December 2012, he had five teeth removed altogether - 4 permanent and the last baby tooth.

It was incredibly brave of him - I couldn't have done it myself. I was squeamish enough watching the extractions. After the extractions, he had the brackets and wire fitted before returning home with a mouth full of gauze and metal.

Despite being in a lot of pain and discomfort for the next two days, Andre barely complained. What a trooper!

I did get a scolding from my friend though who called me a bad mummy for making Andre go through the misery of braces just when he had to adjust to a new school and new routine. "Obviously you've never had braces!" Alright, guilty as charged.

Despite the inopportune timing, Andre seems to have adjusted remarkably well so far. Perhaps it's early days yet but he hasn't felt the agonising ache Lesley-Anne experienced with each tightening of the wires. After about a week of liquids and soft foods, he is back to his usual fare, albeit taking a longer time for each meal.

Fingers crossed! Meanwhile, Andre's smile has become especially cheeky - broad and blue-tinged. Love it ♥

Ankle aweigh!

It's been slightly over 3 weeks since Andre injured his foot and being immobile has been tough on him. Looking on the bright side, his condition has led him to some memorable experiences, such as riding on this stair contraption for wheelchairs (we happened to be at a building that didn't have a ramp). The security guard looked almost as thrilled as Andre, apparently it was his first time operating the equipment.

Finally, it was time to remove the cast. About time too - Andre's restlessness was beginning to translate into recklessness - like hopping on one foot to the bathroom or zipping about in his swivel chair, brandishing the crutch like a machine gun. It was another accident waiting to happen.

Making the cut...

... and the foot's free at last!

The news is great - his foot is fully recovered and there's no discernible swelling. This calls for a celebration with a large platter of fish and chips at Fish & Co!

The foot's not entirely back to normal though. Since it's been in a cast for so long, it still feels tender and sore when Andre puts weight on it, so he continues to use his crutches. To help with the recovery, he's been going swimming everyday, something he relishes. Not only will it improve strength and flexibility in his foot, it should also help him rebuild his stamina.

Praying he will be back on his feet real soon!

Best foot forward

Last Thursday, Andre was running around with his friends at recess and tripped. It sounds like a normal, everyday occurrence but for some inexplicable reason, he managed to not just sprain his ankle but sustain a dislocated bone fragment in his foot. The A&E put his foot in a soft cast, to be reviewed by the KKH doctors in a week.

It's overall bad news for this very active boy, who has been swimming, cycling or playing badminton on a daily basis. To be suddenly immobile is punishment in itself. He also discovered that everyday activities that we take for granted, like taking a shower, become challenging hurdles. Negotiating stairs is next to impossible.

To his credit, he didn't complain even though he's largely confined to his room. The only saving grace is that he became very limited in his leisure choices as he can't even get to the tv downstairs. Reading, doing sudoku and playing with Lego - that pretty much summed up his downtime activity, until I took pity on him and brought up some dvds for him to play on the pc. It also means he has more time to do his revisions, which is timely as exams are around the corner.

Ever so inventive, he's taken to moving around in his swivel chair. He would wheel himself about, yelling, "Make way for the handicapped!"

I have to say, his school and form teacher really went out of their way to make special arrangements for him. They temporarily shifted his classroom from the fourth floor to the ground floor (which delighted his classmates and increased his popularity quotient), let him eat in the classroom during recess and even allowed us to park in the handicapped lot while waiting to pick him up. They've been very helpful and accommodating, for which we're deeply grateful.

I was slightly apprehensive about letting Andre go back to school cos I could envision the many accidents waiting to happen. Before he went, I warned him, "Don't do anything stupid!" For some kids, this would be enough but since this is Andre we're talking about, I decided it would be safer to spell out what "stupid" meant:

1) using his crutch as a lightsabre

2) lending a friend his crutches to play with

3) leaving his crutches on the floor for others to step on

4) sticking out his injured leg for anyone to trip over

5) attempting to run, use one or no crutch or having a race


We're praying that the foot will make a speedy and full recovery, and that he'll be back on his feet soon. All prayers you can send his way are most welcome!

The blessing of being

Last year, one of Andre's good friends was diagnosed with advanced bone cancer. Even as he underwent surgery and juggled chemotherapy, he insisted on attending school when he could. The school arranged for his classes to be moved to the ground floor so he could get around more easily and he is determined to sit for the PSLE with his friends this year.

Just before he was diagnosed, he had come over to our home to play with Andre and so when I heard the news, it struck me pretty hard. It's difficult to believe the active, happy child (with the most gorgeous dimples) I had just seen running around like any other 11-year-old boy should suddenly be afflicted by such a nefarious disease.

Whenever I hear of such cases, I feel like I'm being doused with a bucket of reality check. It hits home especially when it's not the vague image of some unknown, hypothetical child, but is actually happening to someone you know. It's sobering and there's always the nagging question "why them, God?" Then inevitably, there will be the chilling realisation that such a misfortune can befall anyone, which will trigger the pressing, secret plea, "please not us, God."

Because it's difficult enough being the friend of someone going through such a trial, we simply cannot imagine being that parent, having to deal with such unbearable anguish. Sometimes God's design seems so random that we're tempted to try and manipulate or bargain with Him, so that our kids can bypass all the major calamities in life.

In another instance, Andre's best friend successfully overcame leukemia as a young child and looking at this strapping, boisterous boy now, you would never be able to tell he suffered from this disorder. But according to his mother, when he encounters pain in his limbs, he would still ask her with trepidation, "is it the cancer coming back?"

It's not unusual to be moved by such experiences, particularly if the kids fight their conditions with such courage and spirit, as I've witnessed. For me though, the biggest takeaway is that of perspective. Even as we parents angst over our kids' inability to ace an exam, get into the top school or enter some special programme, there are other parents who would rejoice over something as simple as their kids being able to run, to go to school, or to live to see adulthood.

I will clarify though, that I don't subscribe to the "there are always people less fortunate than you" mentality because it implies we should not aim to live beyond the lowest denominator.

Having said that, there's something to be said about appreciating what you have. When we hear of the plight of others, it's not for us to rejoice over how lucky we are in comparison, but to pause and remember how much our kids are a blessing to us. Then we'll scream less at our kids over their minor misdemeanours, annoying habits or unsatisfactory test results because in the larger scheme of things, these blips really are insignificant.

The next time we're unhappy with our kids and think "if only...", it might help us to remember that for some parents, the "if only..." is much more basic and urgent.

Go hug your kids today.

No more metal mouth

In the midst of moving, Lesley-Anne commented, "We're having so many highs, I'm too busy to feel excited anymore."

I knew exactly what she meant. These past couple of months, we have so much going on that we feel like we're in the eye of a tornado. Lesley-Anne, in particular, had a lot happening in her life. In addition to the family stuff, ie moving house and preparing for our upcoming holiday, she went through her year-end exams and rushed to embark on a three-day school trip to Malacca. So much so that another monumental event in her life became almost an afterthought... the removal of her braces!

Yes, folks. After 2 long years of enduring metal in her mouth, pain and inability to chew tough food, the braces came off last week! When I blogged about it 2 years ago, its removal seemed like a remote event far, far in the future.

She has to wear a plastic retainer for 6 months, but compared to wearing braces, she feels like a prisoner newly released from her metal cage.

I love looking at the lovely flash of perfectly straight pearly whites every time she smiles. Makes all the sacrifice worthwhile.