The Price Is Wrong

Two AL East teams have announced to their fans that the first couple of months of their year don't matter very much, and that they are more than willing to jeopardize the integrity of their season in an attempt to save money at some future date. I speak, of course, of the Tampa Bay Rays and Baltimore Orioles.

Let's start with the team that wasn't very far away at all from winning the World Series last year, your defending AL East and AL Champion Tampa Bay Rays. They've decided that the guy who had their season and championship in his hands during last year's ALDS, and the man that is ranked no lower than the #2 prospect in all of MLB, isn't worthy of their #5 starter role. No, seriously.

David Price will instead take his career 1.93 ERA, 3 to 1 strikeout to walk ratio, 95 mile per hour lefthanded heat and 0.93 WHIP to Triple A Durham, so that he can work on, I don't know, his diction or something.

The Rays claim that what they are really trying to do here is to make sure that the young guy doesn't run into arm trouble, as they want to limit his 2009 output to 165 innings or less. Instead, the early season starts will go to Jason Hammel (career ERA of 5.90, mostly because he can't throw strikes) and/or Jeff Niemann (career ERA of 5.06, similar live arm with control issues).

What is really happening, of course, is that the Rays are playing games with Price over his arbitration years by trying to keep his service time down. They are, in effect, gambling that they are so much better than the Red Sox or Yankees that they can play at a disadvantage in April and maybe even May, while their potentially best starting pitching option twiddles his thumbs in Durham.

They just might get away with it, too. Hammel and Niemann both have live arms and might figure it out, and it's not like they will be facing the beasts of the world in the #5 slot, especially with early season rainouts and off days tending to limit the work of a #5 starter. It's also not the worst idea in the world to limit the innings from a talented 23-year-old.

But it just sends a terrible, terrible message to their fan base, and it also -- and this is the hidden bummer point -- increases the risk of injury and overuse to their top arms. Those would be James Shields, Matt Garza and most especially Scott Kazmir.

Because when Price is your #5 starter, he's not *really* your #5 guy; he's an arm that you aren't going to skip over. So you wouldn't have the temptation to overuse the top pitchers, in the same way that you will with the marginal candidates in the #5 slot. That will do double or better if the Rays stumble out of the gate while the Yanks and Red Sox get off to a hot start.

Oh, and there's also this. Price is fully aware that he's in the minors for no good reason at all, and is *very* likely to remember this when the time comes for his arbitration and free agent negotiations. Enjoy him for the legal minimum that you'll get him, Rays Fan.

Meanwhile in Baltimore, the #1 prospect in baseball is going to the minor league camp despite being a switch-hitting catcher with power. In 2008, Matt Wieters hit .345 with 15 homers and 40 RBIs at Class A Frederick and .365 with 12 homers and 51 RBIs at Double-A Bowie. In preseason action, he's 13 for 39 with a homer, five RBIs and four walks.

The Orioles have decided, in their infinite wisdom, to have this asset go to Norfolk, just so they can save on his future arbitration rights, and avoid taking calls from Scott Boras for a few more months.

Now, I understand that 2009 is not going to go well for Baltimore, and that there is a certain logic to making sure that the next Oriole team that will compete has Wieters with a marginal amount of more seasoning.

But let's just call this what it is: tanking baseball games, from the very start of the year, and telling their fan base that there is no reason to pay attention to them from the very start. Come back later, folks. If at all.

Don't think that the baseball gods haven't noticed. Nominal starting catcher Gregg Zaun, who will be 38 in April and is coming off a robust .700 OPS year with Toronto, got crunched at home plate last week, and is questionable for the start of the season with a bad elbow. If he can't go, the club will go with Chad Moeller or Robby Hammock, which is to say, the worst Opening Day starting catcher in MLB. As Big Star (and for the younger readers, Trent Reznor) once sang, you get what you deserve.

Here's a thought for Baltimore management: if 2009 is so outside of your realm of interest, discount the tickets until Wieters comes up. Trade away Brian Roberts, who won't be good when Wieters is in his prime. Sell off George Sherill in the bullpen, and maybe Chris Ray as well, since it's not like you care about winning the 1 in 3 games that you might possibly have a late lead for. Release Melvin Mora and Aubrey Huff.

Or, and this is the real winning play... sell the team to any entity in the world that actually wants to win baseball games, rather than feel smart about their payroll while finishing fifth.

Oh, and cashing all of those revenue sharing checks from the teams that, you know, actually want to win.

Seriously, why on earth is anyone an Orioles fan?

And why on earth does MLB (and yes, I'm looking at you once more, Bud Selig, and regretting the decision to do so) perpetuate a compensation system in which teams are discouraged from starting the year with their best young players? Shouldn't Opening Day be about, you know, *hope* for every fan in every city, no matter how deluded that hope may be?

Or do only MLB+ teams get that now, officially, for good and forever?

I'll See You In October, With A Gun

Perhaps the only positive development in the past few years for newspapers in this country has been the growth of the Departing Athlete Ad, in which the ex-wearer of the laundry tells the people just how much he's appreciates the past X years.

Pat Burrell's entry into the field is below, and on some level, I'm disappointed. What an opportunity has been missed here. Where's the bitterness towards the losers who booed him, the organization that chose to replace him with a left-handed hitter who is four years older than him, or, if nothing else, one last jibe into how much he enjoyed unleashing holy hell on the choke artist Mets? If nothing else, tell us how much you're going to miss freezing your ass off in the crappy Philly weather, or how you're so happy to have finally made some real money from a team that knows how to reward a star like you.

C'mon, Pat. Show a little originality.



Boo, Pat, boooooo.... you could had been so much better. Now, when Jim Eisenreich left, *his* letter was great!

Simon Is Clad In Greatness

Final standings...

Simon 295
Bullet 290
Al 275
Shooter 230
Liston 135
HHR 130
Brian 85
Truth 80
Will 75
Chief 25

Simon, e-mail me at dmt shooter at gmail dot com with your T-shirt size and address.

Truth, you know what you have to do...

World Series, Game 5: Phillies-Rays Re-Start

After a 46 hour rain delay, it's Geoff Jenkins, a mostly useless guy all year, out to hit for Hamels. Ball one is greeted with a thunderous roar. He swings and misses at 95, up and out. Balfour gets strike two, 96 and low; he looks sharp, but he's also breathing hard, and misses outside, even faster. He might be gripping a bit... and he overthrows again, taking the count full. Jenkins then absolutely crushes one to the wall in center right, some 395 feet away. He might have thought third, but that would have been a bad thought, given that Bossman Junior picked up the ball.

Rollins drops a first pitch bunt to third, moving Jenkins to third. Perfect execution, if not the best possible result. It's on Jayson Werth to get the run home.

Ball one, wild high. Rays warming two lefties in the pen. Ball two is away, still 95. Werth watches strike one inside high, and I don't think Balfour has thrown anything that has varied in speed. Another fastball in the same location is fouled back, and Balfour is smelling the strikeout at 2-2. Werth fists off a ball to very shallow center that Iwamura can't control, as the infield was in. That's scored as a hit, Balfour is done, and Howell will come in to face Utley. Who says this team is cursed, or that Charlie Manuel doesn't have the touch? He could have used Dobbs or Stairs; instead, he chose his third-best left-handed pinch-hitter, as if this was, you know, a normal game. Wow. 3-2, Phillies.

We come back from commercial to see Grant Balfour throwing his glove like an angry man. It's a darn shame. Darn shame!

Howell starts his night by throwing to first. Wheeler throwing, presumably for Burrell, assuming the inning gets that far. Strike one is on the outside corner with movement. Ryan Madson starts throwing for the Phillies. Joe Buck apologizes for Maddon using Balfour and Howell instead of Electric David Price, because that's what Fox does -- though the pitcher does hit fourth for the Rays next inning, and it's impossible for American League teams to use double changes. Gosh darn National League rules!

Strike two is on the corner, and strike three is a good curve, getting Utley to flail. Impressive stuff from Howell. Howard on, and since he doesn't have a man in scoring position, this should work out. Werth gets picked off and makes second base anyway, as Howell's move to first wasn't fast enough. Dammit, Jayson, now Howard can't get a hit! And to prove my point, Howard pops up to Longoria to end the inning. It's Ryan Madson time, and the Phillies are nine outs away.

If the Phillies hold the lead... Cole Hamels wins the game. Though to be honest, I never quite got that. Geoff Jenkins pinch-hit for him; he was in pitcher's position when the Phillies scored. Shouldn't he be the winning pitcher? Ok, well, no. Moving on.

Fox shows a ton of commercials, and I'm left to wonder if every post-season baseball telecast has to go 3 hours. Fox is wise to the Hamels win possibility; if he gets it, he's the first to ever start 5 and win 5. Navarro is the first hitter of the seventh, and Madson starts him off with an unhittable tailing fastball. Strike two is a change that's moving down; Navarro fights it off. Ball one misses inside by a little. Romero and Price warming up in opposite bullpens. Strike three is 94, on the inside corner and down, and damn near perfect. Sit down, meat.

Rocco Baldelli is up next... and he fists one to left, carrying nicely and gone. Crap, crap, crap. Tie game. Honestly, he didn't look good on the swing, but Baldelli just got it out anyway. Crap, crap, crap. 3-3 game.

Bartlett rips a base hit to left on an 0-1 pitch, and that looked more comfortable than the Baldelli homer. Bartlett is a stolen base threat, and Howell will stay in the game to bunt. One does wonder how much he's done that. Strike one is missed, but Howell gets it done, and it's two out, man on second, for Iwamura. Manuel has seen enough of Madson, and he's picked a bad time to be human. Romero in after an ungodly amount of commerce.

Fox goes for the Baldelli mouth job, and I guess it's pretty damn warranted. Jerk. Romero looks Bartlett back to second. Strike one is a good fastball on the inside corner. Chad Bradford getting loose. Utley then makes a great play to keep Iwamura's slow roller in the infield, then catches Bartlett getting greedy on the turn; it's a close play at the plate, but he's clearly out, and the inning is over. Aggro base running giveth, and aggro base running taketh away. I suspect Fox is quite happy with their evening of programming so far tonight -- this game is crazy tight. 3-3 going into the bottom of the seventh.

Howell starts Burrell with a strike. Two nights ago, Pat the Not Bat took two walks, but he's still 0 for 13 for the Series. Fox is in full goat mode for him, showing the graphic every time he comes up... and Burrell responds with a mashed ball to left that would have been out in the months that God intended baseball to be played. Bruntlett in to run for him. One wonders why he's not on third, but then again, it's Pat Burrell. Chad Bradford on for the Rays to turn Victorino around. If I'm the Rays, I go with Wheeler here, in that Chadford is prone to ground ball singles, but Joe Maddon will do what Joe Maddon will do...

Victorino shows bunt, and watches ball one. Again, this is setting up the bottom of the order, but Manuel has had the touch. Second pitch is bunted foul; Bradford can't be an easy guy to bunt, really. Manuel comes out to talk about something, and McCarver is dreaming of a balk call. Strike two is a whiffed bunt, and so much for that strategy. Bradford doesn't strike out a lot of guys, and he won't get Victorino either, as he pulls the ball to Iwamura. Man on third, one out, for Feliz.

Rather than go to Dobbs, Manuel leaves in Pedro. I suspect he likes Feliz v. Bradford more than Dobbs v. Electric David Price. Strike one is fouled off... and the third baseman rips a ball up the middle that would have been a single, even if the infield hadn't been up. The Phillies take the lead back, and Charlie Manuel is a genius. 4-3, Phillies.

Carlos Ruiz up as Maddon leaves Bradford in. The sidewinder gets ahead 0-2, with Dobbs on deck. Price warming. Ruiz loops one up the middle, but Iwamura makes a great play to get Feliz. Two outs, and that keeps Romero in the game; he grounds out on the first pitch. Curious.

Romero starts the eighth with a 2-0 count to Crawford, then hits the inside corner for strike one, and misses low for 3-1. Not the man you want to walk. Strike two is a marginal low call, but Fox gives it to him easily. On the full count, Crawford laces it to center, and the Phillies relieves are picking a bad time to be hittable.

Bossman Junior up now, and this is major scary... for all of a pitch, as he taps a perfect double play ball to Rollins. Phew. Monstrously big. Carlos Pena up with 2 outs and nobody one, with Longoria on deck. The lefty will be Romero's last hitter, and he overthrows ball one. Big nerves time for everyone, really. A pinched high fastball makes it 2-0 to the first baseman. Scott Eyre throwing with Lidge, probably just for company. A floater makes it 3-0. 94mph at the letters makes it 3-1, but not a great pitch; if he tries it again, Pena probably jumps on it. The 3-1 pitch is a fastball inside that Pena serves to Bruntlett in left for the first scoreless inning of the re-start. We are three outs away, with Longoria, Navarro and ... Baldelli due in the ninth. Insurance would be Quite Helpful, and the Phillies will have the top of the order to try to provide it.

Price and Aybar in, so Maddon does know how to double-switch; Aybar will hit fourth in the ninth, and replaces Pena. The Electric One is low on the first two pitches to Rollins. Rollins gets under the third pitch and it dies on the track to Crawford in left, and it's time for Fox to show us grainy Philly championship footage.

Up yours, Fox.

Werth dives out of the way of a low cutter -- let it hit you! -- for a 2-1 count, then fouls off heat. Strike three is called on the outside corner, and Electric David Price has two outs.

Fox then craps on us with the Billy Penn Hat legend, and we see some dinky statue on top of the Comcast tower. Um, whatever.

Up yours, Fox.

Utley gets to 3-0, then watches 95 mph on the outside corner for 3-1. The Electric One will make a lot of money playing baseball. The 3-1 pitch is about as bad as Utley has ever looked on a fastball, but the 3-2 heater is away, and Chase takes the walk. Insurance is up to Ryan Howard, and maybe he gets a fastball he can handle. A long ball would make many, many Phillies fans relax, maybe for the first time in three days.

Strike one is a high but moving slider at 87. Et tu, Electric One? Give the big man a fastball. Not on the second or third pitches, which miss. Crowd gets into it, and on Yet Another Slider, Utley steals second, more to show that he can, really. Bruntlett on deck, and he did hit a homer in game two. Fouls off strike two, off speed again... and then Price finally gives in and throws a fastball right by Howard. We're into the top of the ninth, with Brad Lidge needing three outs for immortality. 4-3, Phillies.

Well, folks, this is everything that Phillies Fan could have hoped for from this bizarro game -- a lead in the ninth with the closer that hasn't failed all year. Everybody convinced that we're doomed yet? I know that I am. Evan Longoria looks like Albert Pujols. Dioner Navarro looks like a left-handed Albert Pujols. Rocco Baldelli has already homered tonight. We're doomed.

Strike one is a nasty slider that moves all over. Strike two is 94 mph heat that Longoria is late on. Joe Buck tells us about Lidge's last home run allowed. Up yours, Fox. Longoria watches the slider miss, low and away. He also looks at 93 mph heat up and on the hands. Heat outside, on the black, is fouled off. The slider gets him guessing fastball, and he pops it up. Utley squeezes it. One away.

Navarro gets a first-pitch slider strike. Useful pitch, that. A second one is out of the zone, and the catcher goes fishing. Strike two. McCarver warns of wild pitch strike outs, where the hitter reaches first. That's another way we're doomed. A broken bat single to right gets the catcher aboard, and we're doomed. Maddon pinch runs Fernando Perez, who scored the winning run in game two of the ALCS; he might as well have a baton. Ben Zobrist in to hit for Baldelli.

First pitch fastball at 92 is a strike. The Rays have stolen more bases in post-season than any other team ever. Ball one is a slider that misses outside. Curious that he hasn't moved on either pitch, but he goes on the second ball of the at bat, a slider that misses. Man on second, 2-1, and Lidge is 180 feet away from his first blown save of the season. Doom Time... and Zobrist's line drive is right at Werth in right. That's justice for Navarro's crappy single. Two outs, and Perez can't advance.

Eric Hinske, who also homered earlier in this series, hits for Bartlett. He's only here because Cliff Floyd got hurt. He has a World Series ring with the Red Sox last year. He's a white, left-handed, Albert Pujols. We're doomed.

A slow roller goes foul to first for strike one. He can't check on the slider for strike two, and Rays Fan, assuming he exists, has another beef with the men in blue. 0-2 count. Crowd huge. And strike three is a slider that Hinske seems to know that he has no chance on in mid-swing. And just like that, it's all over. Phillies 4, Rays 3, in five games.

The Phillies are the world champions.

No one in Philadelphia has to be from the town that hates any more.

Charlie Manuel's mom smiles.

Writing that made me cry.

Pat Gillick retires on top.

Brad Lidge is perfect -- now and forever.

Had 'em all along.

Epic Drop: Top 10 silver linings for Philly Fan

Your link is here, but cheer up, Philly Fan... it's all happiness and sunshine and pushing those rain clouds away.

Plus, um, you didn't lose the game. And your doom-tastic fans notwithstanding, being up 3-1 in a tie game in Game Five of the World Series is still, um, OK. I guess...

World Series Addendum

Well, it's suspended now, and this is obvious, but what an edge for the Rays. They basically neutralized Cole Hamels despite a bad start from Scott Kazmir. They got Carlos Pena, and to a lesser extent Evan Longoria, off the schnied. They are putting the fear of choke in the leaders. You can use Electric David Price in the re-start. The home field advantage for the Phillies has to be through the floorboards with the weather curse. The only real drawback is that they have to get 12 outs to the Phillies' nine.

Oh, well. As Adrian Belew once sang, fear is never boring...

World Series, Game Five: Phillies-Rays: Washout

A relatively low-key national anthem from John Oates, substituting for Darryl Hall, who Fox tells us was sick. This is followed up by the first dick pill ad of the evening. Somehow, I think I'll live with frequent pissing for the ability to drive a car without, you know, possible death from fainting.

Rays' manager Joe Maddon moves the Longoria-Pena duo down to the 4-5 slots, moving Carl Crawford up to the 2 slot. This means a split of speed threats if they have base runners, since Crawford and Upton are their main base steals. If it's my team, I'm tempted to lead off with Crawford, who has been my best hitter of the series, and bump Iwamura to 9, as a second leadoff hitter. But then again, I'm wacky that way.

Joe Buck feels compelled to tell us that the Rays are resilient. Um, really? I was sure that if you got to the World Series, there's no way that you could have been tested before this.

Rocco Baldelli tells the nation that Carlos Pena is the Rays' spiritual leader. I need to know more. What are his teachings? How does he stand on free will versus determinism? Does he see himself as a new Messiah, or more of an apostle to some previous leader? Don't leave us hanging, Rocco.

First pitch at 8:30, and Hamels gets an up and in call. It's 43 degrees, and the Shooter Eldezt has been banished to the basement after annoying the Shooter Mom. After telling me she wanted to watch the game, she immediately grabs books and begins reading them out loud. As they say in "Rounders," women are the rake. They are the...

Iwamura flies out, and the ball seems to be carrying well to right again. Crawford lines a ball to Rollins, who drops it, but has enough time to get the speedster at first. Rollins then retires Upton early, and the aggressive Rays are out of the inning in 3 minutes and 7 pitches. Useful.

I switch over to MNF in time to see Hank Williams Sr. on my screen. And just that quickly, we're back to Fox...

Donovan McNabb reads off the Phillies lineup tonight, wearing shades and sporting a profound bass voice. Buck tells us that he's wearing the shades due to an eye poke during the Falcons' game, but we all know he's doing it to look cool. S'ok, Don.

Kazmir's first two pitches are wide, and Rollins patiently watches both. His velocity is reasonable, but he doesn't look too comfortable, and Rollins think he's got a walk on 3-1, but the umpire calls him back, correctly. The game gets delayed from there as Dioner Navarro has a mask problem, giving Fox enough time to show us the names of the struggling umpiring crew. A fly ball to Crawford in left ends Rollins, and Kazmir looks better against Werth... but once again, the pitch count creeps up, and we go to a full count. Ball four is borderline outside, but Werth runs to first and the umpire doesn't call him back, so the home team is in business... especially after Kazmir hits Utley on the first pitch. Two on for the red-hot Ryan Howard.

Kazmir goes right at Howard with heat, and gets him on 94 mph gas. There's a reason that Mets Fan cries when they watch him, folks. Burrell, who might be playing in his last game as a Phillie tonight (he's a free agent), has done nothing in the series. Again, Kazmir falls behind, and the umpire does him no favors with a tight strike zone. Burrell takes the walk, and the bases are loaded for Shane Victorino. Major stress inning, right away, for Kazmir, but if he gets Victorino, it's a plus.

First pitch to Shane almost gets the leg; I think he'd had stuck it out had he known it was coming. Second is low and away, and the lefty isn't going to get any calls with that kind of command. The crowd is primed to explode, even in a hitless inning. On 2-1, Shane delivers to left, and the Party Is On. 2-0, Phillies.

Fox flashes a graphic of how Kazmir has allowed 8 first inning runs in the post-season. Can Pedro Feliz make this inning monstrous? Not quite, as his looping single to left gets to Crawford too soon to score Burrell, who runs like a spastic turtle. It's on Carlos Ruiz, hitting a mere .417 in the Series. No action in the Rays' pen, which is a common failing of Maddon, but he gets away with it, as Ruiz flies to right. 29 pitches for Kazmir in the inning, only 14 of them strikes. Well, on the plus side, he'll still have Hamels to lead off the second. Oh, and an umpire that he's giving dirty looks to. That's a good idea.

Carlos Pena leads off with a first pitch bunt out to Howard. Not exactly imposing behavior from the cleanup hitter. On the next pitch, Longoria flies out to Victorino. That's 5 outs on 9 pitches, folks -- hard to do. Navarro works Hamels for a walk, very smart, as Hamels feels a little squeezed by the umpire as well. He gets Baldelli on the second pitch he throws, and King Cole is through two on 17 pitches, having retired 6 of 7 hitters.

You know, when I saw the first ad for "Role Models," I thought, wow, what an odorous little movie. Now that I've seen 30 to 40 ads for it, I'd like the people who made it hunted down and killed. I can't imagine this is a unique reaction.

Kazmir faces Hamels, who hit a little in the regular season, but it's not like he's going to do much with Kazmir throwing strikes and gas; the Rays' lefty gets a 3-pitch strikeout. Fox has mic'ed up Shane Victornio, who seems like a puppy in human form, to see how much he can chatter about the wind. The answer is: a lot. Rollins doesn't look comfy early in the count, but works it full before flying out to Baldelli in right. Another 2-0 count to Werth, as Kazmir seems determined to never have a very easy inning; Werth obliges him by fouling off a bunch of pitches. The Bearded One then lines a 2-out single to left to give Utley something to swing at, but he can't take advantage. Note the Hidden Damage of Extra Pitches: Kazmir threw 19 there,and has 48 through 2. At this pace, the Rays will be going to the pen by the fifth. 2-0 Phils after two, and the Shooter Eldest is off to bed. So much for her World Series fascination.

Why does Sprint think I'm buying a cell phone from a heartfelt black and white testimonial? On second thought, why does anyone buy a cell phone -- don't we all just have them by now?

Hamels starts the third with Bartlett, who works out of a 1-2 hole to push it full. Hamels ends it with a grounder to Rollins, and once again, the Rays' leadoff hitter is out. Cole then treats Kazmir to the same 1-2-3 strikeout good night that Kazmir gave him, and Hamels works quickly to Iwamura; he looks like a man who enjoys being indoors. Iwamura gets the Rays' first hit on a liner up the box that Hamels nearly spears, but Cole's not a hockey goalie. A first pitch ground out from Crawford shows the Rays to continue to not work the pitcher into deep counts, and Hamels is through three with just 33 pitches.

How many years, really, do we need to see a rabbit toy beat a drum to show the worth of a battery? The over-under is, sadly, 30.

Kazmir starts the third with Howard and whiffs him on three pitches; the book of Get Runs Early seems to be holding firm. Burrell still doesn't have a hit in the series, and that's true after a three-pitch at bat and fly out to right. Kazmir gets Victorino on three pitches as well, and that's his first great inning of the night -- and only 9 pitches. He's at 57 through 3, and has the bottom of the lineup coming up.

Hamels back out quickly for the fourth to face the heart of the Rays' order; the game is moving as fast as Fox will allow it, really. Hamels keeps getting strike one, and Rollins gets Upton on a 1-1 grounder that looked like the speedy outfielder could have made it a tougher play, but Fox is too wrapped up in interviewing Maddon to show a replay. The rain picks up as Pena fouls one off his foot, which will probably end his bunting. The first baseman hits one hard to right that Werth misses against the wall, and his first hit of the series is a double with one out. A better right fielder makes the play; a faster or more determined runner gets to third. It doesn't matter as Longoria gets his first hit of the Series as well, a liner past Rollins, and the Rays are on the board. Worry creeps in with the rain, as it's suddenly 2-1, Phillies.

Hamels seems a little shaken, and goes 3-0 to Navarro. He gets a charity high strike to make it 3-1, then a perfect double play ball. Phew. The inning ends, and it's 2-1, Phillies... but facing a Rays' team that has some definite life. Kazmir to face the bottom of the lineup in his bid for the shutdown inning.

All series long, the bottom of the Phillies order has made the Rays work harder than vice versa. Feliz fouls off three in a row before waving at a fourth, and that's Kazmir fifth strikeout, and third of the last four hitters. Ruiz laces a ball into the hole in left, and Hamels is up to bunt. Pitch one hits Hamels in the finger and we're in a big yikes moment, but he gets back in and doesn't look too bad bunting the second pitch. Unfortunately, it's too hard, and Hamels has to run the bases at first. Worrisome. Kazmir works quickly to Rollins, and the count goes full as the crowd makes as much noise as wet and worried people can make. Seriously, the weather here is pretty miserable right now, and while it's good that Rollins is making Kazmir work, it's less useful that Hamels is on the bases. Rollins gets the walk, and it's up to Werth. Something of a stress inning for Kazmir, and the rain is looking like it's coming down in sheets on HD.

Kazmir seems to be having footing issues as he falls behind 2-1, but the count evens up. Phillies are fouling off a lot of pitches this inning, with Werth looking increasingly locked in. Kazmir, sensing this, throws a slider that bounces to take the count full. Pitch number 25 of the inning stays out, and the crowd is starting to get into it. Kazmir at 82 pitches now, and Werth just keeps prolonging it, now getting up to 10. You just hope that Hamels isn't getting gassed on the bases. Ball four is low and away, Werth has reached base three times, and it's loaded with two outs.

Buck and McCarver note that no Rays are up in the bullpen, which is Maddon's common mistake; Electric David Price is starting to jog, but not throw. It's on Utley.

Kazmir's best slider gets Utley chasing. Count evens on a low fastball. A bounced slider makes it 2-1, and Navarro saves further excitement. Ball three is close but high. It's crazy that the Rays don't have people working right now. Strike two is close but on the black inside; quality stuff there. Full count to Utley, and Grant Balfour finally gets up. Utley makes it academic with a groundout to Iwamura; a huge opportunity missed there. The Phillies have loaded the bases 21 times in the post-season, and have scored only 4 runs in those situations. Gahhh. At least they will be rid of Kazmir very soon, who has thrown 90 pitches in 4 innings, and made Ryan Howard look bad in the process.

Hamels to face the 7-8-9 hitters; how will he be after the hit hand? 2-0 to Baldelli in heavy rain doesn't help ease any minds, and then the wind makes a routine pop up to shortstop more or less impossible. Baldelli gets on with an error charged to Rollins, and that might be the first leadoff hitter on for the Rays. Utley then makes a fantastic double play on a tag and spin move; terrible base running by Baldelli, who really should have been more aware of where the ball was, but that's just huge. Maddon lets Kazmir hit for himself, and Hamels handles him on three pitches. That's quick if not terribly easy -- in this weather, nothing is easy -- and Kazmir has to go right back out and work after a high pitch inning. It'll be up to Howard, Burrell and Victorino to make him pay for it.

Say, umps? The game's now official. Why not just call it? Save us all some drama, really.

Kazmir looks shaky against Howard for the first time tonight, and it's a 4-pitch walk. If that's it for Kazmir, you really have to wonder why Maddon didn't hit for him... but he leaves him in to face Burrell. Grady Little, anyone? The forecast says heavy rain and 40 degree weather, and Philly Fan is going to have to earn their good times tonight. Kazmir falls behind Burrell 2-1 as Balfour warms, and Kazmir is having continued footing issues. I really do suspect that if this wasn't a Series game, we'd have been in a rain delay a long time ago. Count evens on a chased slider, and goes full on what should have been a called third strike, at least according to Fox. The Rays are really not loving these umps. Burrell fouls off three more before getting ball four, low. Kazmir's last pitch of the night is also a strike according to Fox, and the Phillies have two on, no outs, for the reliever.

Kazmir certainly has cause for complaint with the umpire, but the simple fact is that when you walk six guys in 5 innings with hit batsmen, you aren't getting any calls. Either that, or this umpire wants everyone to get wildly ill from as much exposure to wind and rain as possible. It winds up being a ferociously long delay as the grounds crew work on the entire field, almost as if Kazmir had left for an injury, but we're finally back to live action. Shane Victorino, the key to all kinds of good moments for the Phils, is up, with the Rays seemingly expecting a bunt. If I'm Charlie Manuel, I'm not doing it; the man has 13 RBIs in the postseason.

Oh well, shows what I know. Strike one is a bunt, foul. Second pitch is a pop up to left, and that's good and useless. Gahhh. Feliz fouls three pitches off to start the at bat as the conditions are really awful now, and Pena manages to corral it for the second out. Fox makes a big deal out of a lack of infield fly rule. Balfour gets up on Ruiz and gets up after a loud liner to right, and the third useless pop up of the inning ends it. Still 2-1, and we're into the sixth.

I know people who are at this game, and no, I'm not jealous of them. Yikes.

The grounds crew comes out again for the infield, and what might have been a quick game has really slowed down dramatically from all of the yardwork. Hamels gets Iwamura on a high and wide strike to lead the sixth, and the umpiring is really getting questioned now. Hamels' third strikeout is backed up by Crawford chopping out to Howard. Hamels is missing more in the bad elements, but he's still working quickly and confidently. On a 2-2 count, Upton manages an infield single on a grounder up the middle to Rollins. Fox thinks Upton won't run in the mud, and the lead he's taking says no. Buck and McCarver are now mutinying on the umpires because Upton is slower in the mud. Waah, Fox, Waah. Upton doesn't seem to be conceding the point, as he draws throws to first... and Upton steals the base anyway. I guess we can keep playing after all!

1-1 to Pena. Temperature down to 39 now. Yeesh. Rays' dugout yapping a lot. Hamels pulls the string on a change, and it's 2-2. Philly Fan does itself proud with noise in misery. Pena makes them hate him even more by calling time. Pena lines a single to left, Upton scores, and the game is tied. Crap, crap, crap. Game's tied, and Pena's the reason why. A passed ball strike to Longoria sends Pena to second. It's nightmare time for Philly Fan. Longoria lines out to Victorino, and that's the sixth inning; 2-2 tie... and that's your rain delay.

Well, on the bright side, Philly Fan... anyone that can throw a post-game riot in this weather has well and truly earned their tipped car. More later if we have game.

World Series Notes: Game Four, Phillies-Rays

The following Small Points for your amusement, from tonight's game...

> There's over the top, there's wildly over the top, and then there's Patti LaBelle. For those of you who missed the national anthem, let's just say that she's, um, unique.

> Andy Sonnastine was the member of the Rays' rotation that I thought the Phillies could really handle, and he didn't disappoint, pitching only four innings and allowing nine baserunners. Part of this was bad luck with a blown umpire call at third in the first ining (Justice for Jamie Moyer's non-win!), but still -- he wasn't sharp at all. The Rays won't use him again this year.

> A word on Joe Blanton. I've watched the man pitch a lot for my Oakland A's, and what you saw tonight? Not him. Cupcakes just keeps the ball low, works fast, is a reasonable 4 or 5 starter that's miscast in the top of the rotation. He's not dominant, with nasty filth stuff everywhere, and a power bat to boot. Seriously, the Rays' should check the DNA.

> Giving that Akinori Iwamura won gold gloves in Japan and has spent this series making errors... I'm wondering what the exchange rate for gold is on the Nippon exchange. (Your alternate joke here is that Iwamura is Japanese for Whoops.)

And of course, after writing this, he makes a great play for a double play in the seventh. The lesson: never say anything.

> When you're going good, you're getting the breaks. To a more cursed Phillies team, a line drive off the pitcher is a hit, a hurt pitcher, the prelude to a big inning.

For the Phillies tonight, it was Blaton with the kick save to Pedro Feliz for an out. Just another 1-5-3 putout.

> With his no-doubt home run, Blanton entered The Pantheon of unlikely Philly World Series pitching heroes. It's a short list (Marty Bystrom! Bob Walk! Dickie Noles! Jamie Moyer), but with one more win, he'll never buy another beer in this town.

> In the seventh, Ryan Madson makes what might be the pitch of the game, getting Bossman Junior Upton to whiff on a 3-2 change with two on and two out. Bossman Junior is going to make a lot of money in his MLB life, but he's not the same guy that killed Boston. Thank heavens.

> If you saw Frank Calliendo in public, and he was criminally assaulted in front of you, would you do anything to stop it, or would you just try to commit every second of it to memory? These are the things that I think about during heavy rotation commercials.

> Another heavy rotation commercial reaction... does it diminish the accomplishment of Indiana Jones in the last movie that the villainess that he foiled was pregnant? (The actress Cate Blanchett, of course.) Having seen the Shooter Wife through two pregnancies, I say no, no, a thousand times, no...

> In the seventh, Fox's heads talked about how Charlie Manuel was interested in working Brad Lidge for more than one inning tonight. As someone rooting for the Phillies in this series, I'm not interested in him having to do that. A game without drama is OK, guys.

> The stat of the series: Pena and Longoria, 0 for 29, 15 whiffs. Ye Gads.

> Just so the rest of the non-Philly world is aware... Ryan Madson's career WHIP is 1.36, and he's never thrown this hard before. I have no idea how he became Utterly Freaking Dominant, but more power to him.

> In Tampa, the Phillies got a split despite having little from Rollins, Howard and Burrell. In Philly for the last two games, Rollins and Howard have come alive, and life for Philly Fan is much, much better...

> In Game Three, after getting picked off second base in what seemed to be a crushing mistake, a colleague assailed Jayson Werth for his doofy facial hair. Tonight, after a no-doubt insurance homer that made it 8-2 in the ninth? It's Distinguished.

> Ryan Howard's eighth inning home run, off lefty Trevor Miller, that made it 10-2... was the baseball equivalent of the good guy in a pro wrestling match running in and cleaning house. Seriously, he should have just Miller with a steel chair. It'd have been less obvious.

> In the surprisingly relaxed ninth, JC Romero makes an error put the leadoff man on, and just as we go to the Here We Go feeling... the next man makes out, and the man after that, with an emphatic strikeout of Jason Bartlett. Because, well, these aren't the Red Sox, and an 8-run lead in the ninth agains the bottom of an order that hasn't hit much for the first four games of this Series... well, it's not getting eight runs for the heartbreak loss.

> Your final out as the Phillies move to a 3-1 Series lead is JC Romero going upstairs on Rocco Baldelli, treating him like yesterday's newspaper. You know, the one that talked about how close and exciting this Series has been. Domination.

> Post game, Joe Maddon talked about Blanton having a mark on his cap, and wondered to some extent if Something Was Afoot.

As someone who wants the Phils to win, keep thinking that, Rays. It's got to be cheating. Think a lot about that.

> As the game moved to the ninth, other Philly Fans in my IM circle spoke of how odd it was to see their team like this... which is to say, cruising to a win, getting every break, marching on. Almost as if they were, well, Not From Here.

Earlier today, in the Eagles' game, the Falcons called their third and final time out before the two minute warning. On the subsequent punt, the refs blew the call badly, awarding a muff fumble to the home team. Since the Falcons had no timeouts left, they couldn't challenge, and that was, well, that. Brian Westbrook broke a touchdown run for the suck out cover that made the final score look a lot easier than it was.

My town never gets that call, or, at least, never remembers getting that call. Perhaps it's a new day; perhaps this is what 100 seasons of futility coming to an end might, well, feel like.

Because this Phillies team? It doesn't feel like it's from that place.

And if Cole Hamels and the suddenly red-hot Phillies' bats can get it done tomorrow night, that town will no longer exist.

And the congregation sings, Amen...

World Series Diary: Game 3, Phillies-Rays

Small moments from what was going on during my NBA fantasy league draft prep (what, you think I'm going all hardcore in my bandwagon fan ways?)...

> As the Rays are announced, the Phillies played some odd children's novelty song about fish. I have no idea why.

> The game starts an hour and a half late, just so I don't have to miss anything from putting my kids to bed. Thanks, MLB!

> Jennifer, the girl who buys huge talking cameras from Circuit City? Let's just say that HD does no favors.

> In the bottom of the second, Carlos Ruiz goes yard in his effort to make sure that the pitcher doesn't lead off the next inning. Nice job, Carlos!

> You know, some year, both leagues of baseball are going to actually play by the same rules. And when they do... well, watching Jamie Moyer and Matt Garza "hit" isn't terribly entertaining.

> At least early, Moyer is getting the calls and looking like his regular season self. When he strikes out BJ Upton to end the third, five million Philly Fan males in their mid '40s and up, all across this nation, pumped their fists hard enough to pull something.

> I like David Bowie too, but doesn't Lincoln know that "Major Tom" never returns to his family, and that this might not be the thing I want from my new vehicle?

> The Rays really don't look, as a pitching staff, like they have a lot of experience holding base stealers in line. A possible drawback for AL teams... but then Garza-Navarro throws out Jimmy Rollins at second with relative ease. Curious.

> If Samsung really wants to sell me a cell phone based on a fake movie with two women... um, have the women kiss each other already. You're welcome.

> When Moyer brushes someone off the plate, do they ever charge the mound? I'm thinking no, because the ball never gets there fast enough to appear malevolent...

> Joe Buck seemed wildly amused by Philly Fan chanting "Eva" at Evan Longoria. Clearly, it doesn't take much to amuse Joe Buck.

> On a 3-1 count to Carl Crawford with 2 out and no on one in the fourth, Moyer continued to work quickly despite falling behind... and got Crawford to fly out weakly to left. That's confidence.

> How much would you have to be paid, Dear Reader, to watch "Role Models"? I'm betting it's less than "Frank TV." But similar, right?

For me, the bidding starts at... $40.

> New Joss Whedon series! Woo hoo! Eliza Dushku and Amy Acker! I can't wait until Fox screws Whedon over and cancels the series before it has a chance to do well...

> People talk about the running game, but in the bottom of the third, a caught stealing cost the Phillies a run. Worth remembering, if only because so many people seem to regard stolen bases as a panacea.

> Shane Victorino called out on strikes in the fourth, and Fox shows it as a strike on their pitch graphing thing. Which doesn't, it seem, have any adjustment for the height of the hitter. If that's a strike to Shane, he can forget about patience for the rest of this game.

> Through five, Moyer is damn near magical -- getting calls to expand the zone, jamming the lefties with 80 mph "heat", keeping every player off balance, and bringing a tear to the eye of everyone but the presumably existent Rays fans. Seriously, who doesn't love Jamie Moyer?

> Leaving off the fifth, Carlos Ruiz draws a walk. This, after a homer earlier. The Rays do know that Ruiz is a .220 hitter, right?

> At the end of five, it's 2-1 Phillies... and it feels like it could easily be 4-0. The Rays' run was borderline luck, the Phils ran themselves out of a run, and if Ryan Howard could ever make contact with a man on third... anyway. Deep breaths.

> What Moyer did to the Rays' lefties tonight was just textbook. In the sixth, he had Upton going back to the bag as he came home, while freezing Carlos Pena at the plate. Just nails.

> The final out of the sixth is Longoria hitting it a ton to left, but it doesn't carry at all, and Burrell settles under it in the warning track for the final out of the sixth. Moyer's reaction on the Fox cameras was priceless; no fist pump, nothing but a blink and a look down as the inning ends. Just another game, you see... and then he turns and extends his tongue like Gene Simmons, in the same look of relief that you might see from a Little Leaguer.

Again, I ask... who doesn't love Jamie Moyer?

> In the bottom if the inning, Chase Utley shows the Rays how to hit a home run by absolutely mashing one to right. 3-1 for the home team... and then Ryan Howard jumps into the Fox announcing booth to tell Joe Buck that he's a flaming idiot, as he mashes a hanging curve from Garza. Nearly the same place as Utley's ball, and it's 4-1.

> I know that a lot of people like "House." But every time I look at him, I just see the secondary comic lead from "Black Adder." Does anyone else have this problem?

> Moyer gets the ball in the seventh, and Crawford greets him with a great bunt. Jamie makes a fantastic play, but the umpire blows the call. Ouch. The Phillies get men up as Moyer works to Navarro, who eventually doubles on a 1-2 count, but Crawford doesn't score. Manuel leaves Moyer in to face Gross as all of Philadelphia starts gripping hard. He rips a ball to first, where Howard makes a great play to get the out at first... and that's all for Jamie.

> Chad Durbin comes in and gets a weak grounder from Jason Bartlett on the first pitch, but it's a run as Navarro scores. 4-3 Phillies.

> Final line for Moyer: 6.1 IP, 5 hits, 3 ER, 1 walk, 5 strikeouts. And if the umpire gets the call right, he's probably still working, with the chance to finish 7. He can win, he can't lose. And we can all love him unconditionally, and not live in mortal terror of him working in a Game 7. (OK, that's a lie. All Game Sevens are mortal terror.)

> Scott Eyre in for Durbin after a bad walk to Aybar. He gets ahead of Iwamura, then misses all the way to a full count. And that is what playoff baseball is... just maddening. Eyre then blows Iwamura away to end the inning.

> I dream, in my lifetime, of not hearing someone sing "God Bless America" in the seventh inning stretch.

People, it's a baseball game. And the moment in a baseball game where we get up off our lazy asses and discover just how much our asses have atrophied. It's not a patriotic moment; it's a moment where we celebrate the fact that we are goofing off work and eating crap. We sing a song about that. Not America. Enough.

> I know things have gone badly for America this month, but are we all that excited about a free taco? That's, um, 20 cents of bad food there, people. Move along.

> In the bottom of the seventh, Chad Bradford gets a 1-2-3 inning, as he is wont to do. This one will come down to whether Madson and Lidge can get six outs with no runs. If you like tight games, this is your Series.

> This fall, Jack Bauer will save cute black kids. Why do I suspect that this is the year that the "24" ratings go through the floorboards?

> Upton leads off the eighth inning with an infield hit, and it's Deep Breath time. He should be able to steal a base off Madson, or just distract him enough to make a mistake. And for the second straight hitter, he goes down 2-0... battles back to 2-2 with pure filth... and goes full again. It's a good thing I'm not a Phillies fan, or I'd be a basket case... as Pena whiffs on ball four. Lucky.

> Upton steals second easily on ball one to Longoria. Mr. Upton is going to make a lot of money playing baseball... and he steals third and scores on a bounced throw. Gahhhh.

> Longoria grounds out to second on a play that would have scored Upton from third, not that this will mollify anyone. A blown save for Madson.

> "Four Christmases" with Vince Vaungh and Reese Witherspoon? I'm starting the bidding at... $30. Only because I suspect it'd be short.

> Burger King is trying to rip off "Flight of the Conchords." I can't imagine this will actually work as an ad campaign, but what the hell, it's not Howard Eskin accosting strangers. It's a step up, really.

> J.C. Romero gets Crawford to fly out on the first pitch, and we're to the bottom of the eighth, with the heart of the Phillies lineup

> Is anyone else offended by the idea that steelworkers and roadies can do everything better than, well, the people who already do these jobs? I've been a musician; most roadies, um, kinda suck. Even if they do have walkie-talkie phones. And if firefighters were in Congress, they'd probably just set the damned building on fire. (I know, I know, most of y'all think that's a step up...)

> Bradford walks Werth on four pitches to start the eighth and end his night. It's a damn shame that Werth doesn't run the bases like Upton, really.

> Howell in to face Utley and Howard, with Balfour warming up. Note, for the record, that Maddon probably can't use Electric David Price, due to the 45 pitches he had him throw in Game Two. Hunch Managers can kill you.

> Very, very ballsy... Werth steals second, and just makes it. Navarro with another very good throw, but the Phils are high-percentage base stealers for a reason... and then Utley chases ball four for the whiff, and Werth gets picked off second. Gahhhhhh. Phillies running themselves out of innings tonight, while the Rays run themselves into runs. Howard strikes out looking to end the inning, and it's tied going into the ninth.

> Romero starts the ninth, not Lidge, as Manuel treats this like a game, rather than an opportunity to start experimenting. A 3-pitch strikeout of Navarro starts it. Romero gets neither of the first two calls on Gross, then gets him on a 2-1 roller to Utley. Manuel stays with Romero despite Bartlett's good numbers against lefties, and Ruiz shows off with yet another great block on a 1-2 bouncer. The count goes full as Bartlett holds off on a slider, and Bartlett nearly hurts himself with a foul ball. It's hair pulling time in the stands, but Romero gets the routine grounder to Rollins, and we're to the bottom of the ninth, with the Phils needing a run to win.

> The bidding on "YESMan".... $50. Just because Jim Carrey hasn't been funny for a really, really long time, and repeating the words "Red Bull" that many times might require therapy.

> Bruntlett starts the ninth by getting ahead 2-0. Balfour warming again.. and on a 2-1 pitch, Bruntlett takes one for the team, off the back of the leg. That's it for Howell, and it's Bunt Time for Victorino (to set up Feliz / Dobbs for the Hero Role. Pack a lunch, folks, because this will take five minutes or more...

> Just enough time for Fox to tell us the time! Riveting television!

> Many changes that probably won't matter, and it comes down to Victorino versus Balfour, Bunt Time. Strike one on a nice pitch away... and then the Rays self-destruct with a Balfour wild pitch, a Navarro wild throw, and Bruntlett is on third with no outs. Wow, wow, wow.

> Balfour completes the walk to Victorino. Speaking of which, all hail Shane for getting out of the way of the wild pitch, because that really should have hit him... and if it had, it's just first and second with no outs, rather than the man getting to third.

> Dobbs hits for Feliz, and Maddon is going to walk him and face Ruiz with five infielders. As a Phillies fan, I'm all for this play, in that it gives me a reliever with control issues with no margin for error. Hell, on ball two, Balfour nearly bounced it. It's on Ruiz.

> Stairs on deck to hit for Romero. Ball one, high. Ruiz chases ball two, a high fastball, to even the count. Balfour humps up with a 96 mph fastball to get strike two. He's shaking Navarro off a lot, and Ruiz fights off another 96 mph fastball to foul it off. Ball 2, up and away -- everything up, which is somewhat promising... and at 1:47 am, Ruiz chops a swinging bunt down the line. Longoria bare hands and throws wildly home as Bruntlett scores, and the Phillies win 5-4.

Just your average five and a half hour long ball game, folks, Had 'em all along. See you again tonight...

Today's Video Moment For Phillies Fan

Don't be Strindberg. The series is tied.

The Series Pick

Twenty eight years ago, the Phillies, fresh off an NLCS that I still think might have been the most exciting playoff series ever played, opened up the World Series at home against the Royals. The Game One started wasn't ace Steve Carlton, but their #5 starter, Bob Walk. In front of the home faithful, Walk fell behind 4-0, but held on as the offense bailed him out. He worked seven innings and got the win, setting up Game Two for ace lefty Steve Carlton. After another Phillies comeback, the home team lead 2-0, with Carlton getting the win.

There was an ease about Carlton that was palpable. His best pitch, a slider, was rarely a strike; it produced whiffs and feeble ground outs. He worked quickly and without emotion, and had led them for most of a decade. When he was on, it was as if the batter simply wasn't there. He won four Cy Youngs in a decade, and might have been the second-best starting lefty in MLB history, behind only Warren Spahn.

They expected to win behind him, and most of the time, they did.

Cole Hamels reminds me so much of Carlton, I keep expecting him to stop talking to the media, develop freaky Zionist conspiracy theories, and go live as a hermit in Colorado. (There's just something about left-handers, really.)

The first game of the World Series is, in this era of baseball, absolutely essential. With the 2-3-2 travel plan and the better league having home field (the All Star Game coin flip notwithstanding, the simple reality is that the Coke/Pepsi BOS-NYY Salary War has ensured a higher standard for AL teams for most of a decade now, as the won-loss record in interleague has proven), it's absolutely imperiative for the NL team to take home field in the first two games. There's just too much pressure on the trailing team to overcome a series deficit on the road for the final two games.

The Rays are from the better league, have home field, and are playing as free and loose as you possibly can at this point in the season. The Phillies are carrying 25 years of failure in the uniforms, along with the collective Win Or We'll Cry Forever baggage of their entire metropolitan era. The Rays are also more balanced, hand-wise, on offense than the Phils, and have more lights-out plus arms than just about any team in baseball. Finally, there's this: long layoffs at this point of the year are rarely good for a team. See the Tigers against the Cardinals, or the Rockies against the Red Sox. You don't want a ton of time off in October.

However, the Rays have one very large problem.

They don't have Cole Hamels.

The Phillies' left-handed has been dominant in the post-season after being a borderline Cy Young candidate in the regular season. By the numbers, he had a 3.09 ERA with a 1.08 WHIP in a bandbox in the first 162 games. In the playoffs, he's 3-0, 1.23 ERA, 0.86 WHIP. When they've needed him in the postseason, he's simply been better than anyone else working in MLB this month. When he's needed strike three, he's delivered -- with a slider that's got such good late movement, he's even fooling the umpires with it. Go ask Jeff Kent how much fun it was to go against him with money on the table.

He also gets the ball tonight.

Facing him is Scott Kazmir, who, I am certain, will own the Phillies... for about 5 to 6 innings. After that, his pitch count will be problematic, and maybe the Rays will make a critical defensive mistake -- they gave the Red Sox seven extra outs with errors in the ALCS, which made that series much more dramatic than it had to be. They'll also go to a deep but undefined bullpen with a manager (Joe Maddon) who was near Grady Little on the Shaky Level in the ALCS.

When the dust settles, the Phillies will have a one game lead. The Rays will be a little tighter. And the AL Mystique will be broken.

In Game Two, I'm expecting a sloppier game, with Brett Myers facing James Shields. The road team will swing the bats better against the right-hander, and if they give Myers any kind of lead early, he'll pitch like a guy with a ton of ability, rather than the special needs child that he frequently resembles. Both teams will attempt to run more, but Carlos Ruiz is better at cutting down that aspect of the game than Dioner Navarro, and the Phillies are simply the most efficient base stealing team in MLB. I think there's a very good chance that they go back to Philly up 2-0, which is good -- because they are going to need the wiggle room.

In Game Three, the Rays have their most pronounced pitching edge of the series. ALCS hero Matt Garza will face aged lefty Jamie Moyer, who was beyond useless against the Dodgers. At home and against a Rays team that will be in Win Or Die Mode, I think he falters -- unless Garza is a shot fighter after his marathon effort against the Sox. In any event, this is the game that I think the Rays win.

Game Four will have Philly Fan clamoring for the return of Hamels, as the schedule gives us Andy Sonnastine against Joe Blanton. Charlie Manuel will not cave, despite the specter of not having Hamels available for a Game Seven, because Manuel just doesn't care what people think of his moves (witness Myers being his closer last year). It will also pay off for him, as Blanton will keep the ball in the yard and the Phillies will capitalize on the hittable Sonnanstine (24 homers in 206 IP this year, and right-handed to boot). In the true turn game of the Series, the Phillies' bats will carry the day.

Game Five is as close to a double-elimination game as you can get, before Game Seven. The Phils will be doing everything possible to end it without going back to Cowbell Hell. THe Rays will grip the bats too tight. Scott Kazmir will give up some walks to the howling mob.

And the Phillies will have Hamels, 28 years and 6 days after Carlton won the town its only baseball world championship, to win the second.

Phillies in five.

The Prodigal

So here we are, a day before the World Series begins in Tampa, Florida, with my old team (the Phillies) the mild underdog to the Upstart Rays.

A fine word, Upstart, and not just because it makes my brain fire off its Marx Brothers ganglions from "Duck Soup." Here, won't you join me in the tangent. (Skip ahead to four minutes, but only if you're in a hurry. The Hot Stove riposte has always been one of my favorites.)



Anyway... I'm an ex-Phillies fan. In the mid '90s, after the Mitch Williams Experience and the slow dissolve of the Blue Snow Team of Dykstra, Hollins, Kruk, Incaviglia and Eisenreich (I'm omitting Schilling in the same way that you omit family relations that later did time for cause), the team simply stopped trying. They held their breath and played the Small Market Blues (never mind that they live and work in a top five media market with, as it is clearly apparent now, oodles of cash), and the few players that didn't stink on ice got out of town as fast as they could. There's no way that you can tell me that the franchise was making an honest effort to actually win baseball games in those days. It was easier, far easier, to lie back and turtle up for the dominant Braves teams and wait for a new yard.

There was also The Strike. And well, baseball did not recover in Philadelphia for a very long time after that. The NFL moved into the vacuum with a vengeance, and instead of the Eagles gradually taking over the consciousness around mid August (say, when pre-season games started), it got more like early July. If the Sixers or Flyers went deep into the post-season, it was almost as if the Phillies didn't exist at all.

I gave up on baseball. Entirely. I was an obsessed musician, and after that petered out from band turnover and the simple reality that the world didn't hear our songs that way that we did... well, that drive got turned over to work and family and writing. (Books, then much later, this blog.) If I ever wanted to turn on a baseball game, the Yankee Dynasty cured me of that with a quickness.

Then, we moved to the West Coast for my career and (what felt like) for good. So my Philles fandom wasn't only over, it was dead and buried. They closed the Vet, and that was that. The coffin was buried, no words were said, and I wasn't watching any baseball, let alone the Phillies.

Then, a funny thing happened. On a lark, my wife and I took our tiny little girl to an Oakland A's game. And that team -- the Chavez/Tejada/Giambi pre-Moneyball club, the one that could actually swing the bats in addition to having exciting young starting pitchers -- sucked me right back in.

Here was a club that played in a cheap old dump (Oakland Alameda is basically the Vet with grass). The fans had chips on their shoulders from being the second-class citizens to the Giants... much in the same way that Philles Fan chafes over the Mets (and to a lesser extent, the Eagles). Unlike the scumbags that had been taking MLB revenue sharing money without making any kind of effort, they won games, made great trades, and generally seemed smarter than the other meatheads in the baseball GM ranks. They were the perfect team to drag me back in.

And then I got an invite to restart my fantasy sports addiction, which had been dormant for 15 years or more, back into my college years when I wanted to be, well, a sportswriter.

Flash forward to now. After many good years, some heartbreaking playoffs, and a partial season ticket plan, the A's have become, for all intents and purposes, the Phillies of the mid-90s -- a team that makes salary dump trades of the players they hit on in development, only to tell you that no, no, it's not a fire sale, honest.

I've moved 3,000 miles away from them for my career, and don't expect to ever see my team in person again.

My kids don't really care about sports, so it's not like I have to defend my serisl baseball adultery.

Rooting for the Mets is like punching yourself.

Rooting for the Yankees, given the lingering memories of the Freaking Jeremy Giambi Slide Play, is like rooting for the guy who used to punch you.

Rooting for your fantasy league guys, at least in the playoffs, is pretty close to meaningless.

Not watching baseball at all, given the blog's existence, isn't really an option, either.

So, um... er... go Phillies. I'm with you all the way. With the fury of... a twice-divorced fan, who should be old enough to know better, and who will never root for you with a hundreth of the intensity that he had back in the day.

Yay, Team!

Epic Drop: Top 10 reasons for Philly Fan to hate the Rays

Here's today's link, which, is read carefully, will contain almost nothing about tonight's complete stinker of a MNF game. I can't believe I stayed awake through it, really...

Epic Drop: Top 11 consolations for Boston / Red Sox Fan

Just the link, folks. The Varitek as Old Yeller joke is something I've been sitting on for most of a week...

ALCS Thoughts

> Anyone who saw Matt Garza outpitching Jon Lester in a Game Seven... you're lying.

> Coco Crisp, if he goes to the bag instead of the man in the eighth, is probably safe.

> Whenever you use five pitchers in an inning, it's scary. Especially when one of them is Chad Bradford.

> Youkilis swings at ball four in the eighth. Not exactly Greek God Of Walks there... but he walks on the next pitch anyway. And it's all on a rookie against a guy (JD Drew) who has been Mr. Clutch for the past two years... and Price treats them like the piece of garbage that he is. Beautiful.

> I watched Mark Kotsay for years in Oakland. Seeing him get eaten alive by David Price... didn't surprise me. Some things, even laundry can't change.

> Price against Varitek was like watching an old animal getting killed by something remorseless and young. Which is, well, what it was.

> The next time you hear about how important it is to have experience to be a closer, think back to Price tonight. Experience is nice. Throwing in the high 90s with movement is, um, better.

And at 11:40 pm EST, on a ground ball from Jed Lowrie that Akinori Iwamura wisely did not choose to throw, the Red Sox Were Killed. Finally, with a stake in the heart, a decapitation of the head, with holy wafers and garlic stuffed in the head, and the head exposed to direct sunlight.

Matt Garza and David Price -- you're getting laid!

Update - Simon on Sports has your yummy, yummy Red Sox player tears. Youkilis, your tears are so yummy!

Seriously, no benefit

On the off chance that you are thinking that the long ALCS is going to make for a pronounced edge for the Phillies in the upcoming series... um, no.

The series starts on Wednesday in the AL home park. Assuming the Sox complete the comeback and that they don't have an extra-inning bloodbath in tonight's Game 7, they'll hve Dice-K Matsuzaka start on five days of rest in Game 1. Then, they could go for Josh Beckett on four days rest in Game 2, and Jon Lester in Game 3 on Saturday the 25th in Philadelphia, again on five days of rest. Depending on where the series is at for Game 4, they'll either try Tim Wakefield on an eternity of rest (not that a knuckleballer needs it), or try Dice on three days. There's really no difference between this rotation set-up and what they've done in the Tampa series.

If Tampa wins, it's pretty similar -- once again, assuming that there isn't a bloodbath game tonight. Scott Kazmir would work Game 1 on five days of rest, followed by Andy Sonnastine in Game 2, on something like eight days of rest. Saturday's Game 3 gives you James Shields on the road with six days of rest, and Game Four brings back Matt Garza. It just won't be a factor.

Meanwhile, the Phillies will have that whole "Too Much Rest?" issue going on, and assuming they don't sweep in Boston -- they'll go to Jamie Moyer and Joe Blanton in the home games.

Oh, and two final points to remember... the 2-3-2 breakdown means that the Phillies will absolutely have to split the first two games (or better) to win the Series, and it's really hard to see how they do that in either of those stadiums. It's especially hard to see how they do that if they lose Game One with Cole Hamels, given how skittish Brett Myers has (and can) be, especially in a pressure situation. Oh, and it would be the first time that Myers works in Boston since The Incident with His Wife. Good luck with that, Brett.

I'd like to be wrong... but I'm not going to be...

I got to turn this one on in the fifth, just before the Rays' David Bartlett hit just his third home run of the year to tie it up against the exceptionally shaky Josh Beckett. In the next inning, Not So Big Game James Shields gave the game back to the dead man wearing Jason Varitek's jersey, and another single after that. After a pitching change, Bartlett made a bad error on a throw, which was (of course) followed up by the inevitable David Ortiz RBI.

There's 12 more outs in this game, and a whole 'nother game tomorrow, but there isn't much more to say than this: it's over, and Boston will win.

You could, of course, have said the same thing as soon as Game Five was over and Boston had pulled off a seven-run comeback. It's very simple; the dynamics of the series had changed. Tampa had acquired A Past. Boston is just going off the same script as always. And it's hard, really, to see how the Phillies will stop the avalanche in the next series.

You see, Boston's on auto-pilot right now. And it doesn't really matter that their starters are hittable, their middle relief is questionable, the bottom half of their lineup seems like they can be pitched to, and that they won't enjoy their de facto road field advantage.

And until they lose a game they shouldn't lose -- say, with a Papelbon meltdown, or a stolen home run, or some other divine intervention moment -- they're just going to keep doing what they do.

Make all the defensive plays. Get all the breaks. Hit with two men out. And win. No matter how much you'd, well, rather that they didn't...

Epic Drop: Top 10 consolations for Rays fans

Your link is here, and holy moley. I'm not too proud to admit that I was preparing for Red Sox Elimination Day -- you'd think I'd learn not to do that by now -- but good grief. From 7-0 to 8-7 in about an hour or so, and more from JD Drew, Mr. Clutch.

I think I just threw up in Philly Fan's mouth.

Well, on the bright side, a longer series is fun, right? And probably better for the Phils, especially if it somehow results in a less fresh Scott Kazmir facing them. (And oh by the way... even if the Rays hadn't scored 2 in a long seventh inning tonight, Kazmir still leaves the game, having thrown 111 pitches. That's the problem with him; even when he's throwing a shutout, he throws too many pitches.)

Anyway, go click the link. Laughing at Rays Fan isn't nearly as much fun as laughing at Sox Fan, but you take what you can get.

Epic Drop: Top 10 reasons to have hope

So here's today's list. Now, let me get back to the horror that is age.

When I was 10 years old, the Phillies won the World Series; I was 14 when the Sixers broke through and took out the Sixers. A year or two after that, the USFL Stars won (I was a big fan), and I even went downtown for the parade. I felt, in no way, like any kind of Sports Victim. Sure, the Eagles didn't break through, and I still have scars of every playoff loss ever. But what the hell, that's what sports *are*, and it's not like we were Cleveland or Boston or any one of a million other sports cities that didn't get to see Hall of Fame players for every franchise. You could have grown up in Kansas City, for heaven's sake.

Now, imagine you are a 10 to 12 year old fan of the Cowboys. You're too young to remember the Aikman-Irvin-Smith years. Your Mavericks ripped your hearts out in the Finals, and now they're a bad joke with big names and an increasingly unhinged owner. Your baseball team is terrible, and has been throughout your consciousness. And your football team keeps signing head cases, and just lost its franchise quarterback for a month. You're a sports victim, right? And yet, there's no way you feel that way, since the history is anything but Victim Status.

The point is this. When you are young, you don't fear losses. You just celebrate them. You don't know that Lucy will always pull away the football, that the other city is always going to be taking the champagne bath at the end of the festivities.

I have friends that have already written off this year's Eagles team, despite the fact that we're barely past the one-third pole. They only watch game replays if the team wins; they spend the live telecasts either listening on the radio or reading updates online, because, dammit, their hearts just can't take it.

They are most likely "right"; the Eagles are, after all, 3-3 and maddeningly inconsistent in just about every facet of the game. But I wouldn't be that way for anything; if I were, I'd give up sports and blogging in a heartbeat. It strikes me as a pale imitation for living, a life ruled by fear, a perversion on every level.

So, um, folks? Lighten up. Be better than your fears. Have hope. It's just more fun.

MLB Playoff Picks: Phillies-Dodgers and Red Sox-Rays

One of the puff pieces that happened in advance of the NLCS this week spoke to the Useless Dodger Veteran Bench (aka Nomar Garciaparra, Andruw Jones, Jeff Kent and Juan Pierre) that all have Playoff Experience, but are also mostly ballast for this team. You will be relieved, I am sure, to find out that they are all Team Players who want to play, but remain totally unselfish and professional and so very, very tired...

On the contrary, I'd argue that it took Joe Torre far too long, and that he got fortunate with injuries, to learn that these guys really weren't going to be much use for him in the act of winning ballgames. Pierre's offense has been terrible for years. Jones has seemingly hit a complete wall in terms of no longer being someone who belongs in MLB -- seriously, only his contract is keeping him in the majors right now.

Kent can still hit -- hell, I suspect you'll be able to say that of the man the week that they bury him -- but he can't stay healthy, and he's got about as much right to play second base as I do. (I actually have better range, but being still afraid of baseballs hit with startling speed by grown men, I'm pretty sure that he'd be more effective. Anyway.) Nomar is a reasonable utility fill-in these days, provided you aren't expecting much pop at the plate.

On an MLB Minus team, these contracts would be absolutely crippling, and the Dodgers would have resembled the Bonds-less Giants of a few years back. Instead, here they are, having taken out the doomed Cubs and more or less an even-money bet to go to the Series. All because Manny Ramirez puled his way out of Boston, carrying them to a bad division win, and the luck of the draw got them the team that never, ever wins. Right?

Well, no, not quite. What happened was that they finally played the people that they should have been playing all along. James Loney is a good left-handed hitter and reasonable defender at first, and the only thing that keeps more people from knowing this is that his home park deflates offense. Matt Kemp in center is a stone-cold stud, a man who anyone could tell just by looking at him should never have to want for playing time. I suspect he could be one of the 20 best players in baseball within two years. Andre Ethier in right just doesn't make a whole lot of outs, does everything well, and has upped the ante since the Manny trade by, well, hitting like Manny's little brother. Blake Dewitt at second grinds like a prototype Dustin Pedroia and covers ground.

Combine them all with the return to health of Rafael Furcal (aka, the single non-Manny everyday playing vet that might be worth his contract), and hey presto... it's a good offense. If Russell Martin is fresh enough to hit (they wear him out and he fades every second half), it's actually a very good offense.

Pitching wise, they are also fine, though not as good as the park makes them out to be. Derek Lowe has carried them recently and has an exceptional post-season record. Chad Billingsley has been aces for a while now, and will be cited as such any day now. Hiroki Kuroda isn't great, but he doesn't walk people and keeps the ball in the park; you could do a lot worse from a #3 starter (and when Brad Penny is healthy, you do very well with him at #4). Greg Maddux is the Kuroda story with 350 more MLB wins. The bbullpen has tons of plus arms that are generally reliable.

Oh, and Manny Ramirez is the best hitter in baseball right now. That helps, too.

So why am I picking the Phils to win?

Well, the home field helps a lot here. So does the general feeling that when push comes to shove, Cole Hamels and Brett Myers are just better than Lowe and Billingsley. The back end of the Phillies rotation - Jamie Moyer and Joe Blanton -- seems more useful to me, to the point where I think the Phils get better starting pitching in every game.

As for the bullpen, the slight hiccup in Game Two notwithstanding, I like Brad Lidge a little more than Takashi Saito, and Jonathan Broxton has utterly filthy stuff, but just seems like a guy who's going to issue a key walk or two. The Dodgers have better depth for an extra inning game, but for the simple act of closing a game in regulation, I think the Phillies have the edge.

I also think the Phillies can win in LA more easily than the Dodgers can win in Philly. I also think that (deep breath) Charlie Manuel has seen enough of Manny Ramirez over the years to know how to limit the damage that Ramirez does, whereas the Dodgers will fear no Phillies hitter -- and wind up paying the price.

Finally, there's this. The way to shut the Phillies down cold is to have quality left-handed pitching. And all of the Dodger starters are right-handed.

Phillies in 6.

Well, Red Sox Fan, welcome to the Hated Favorite status that we all knew you'd get to, or have been arguing you were for years. Here's the plucky and lovable Rays, a bunch of kids -- kids, you bastards!

If you beat them, you'll face one of the most tortured fan bases in the country with the Phillies, or the lovable man-child that you refused to sign to an extension, just because he was a minority, and hated so much that you had to ship him out of town for a nondescript white guy, even while *still* paying his salary.

How does it feel to be the New Yankees, even down to the noxious traveling fan base that ensures that no matter how nice and easy-going your players are, you'll always be known as the opponent of every MLB fan's second favorite team? (In that they root for theirs first, than your opponent.)

But first things first, which is how this strange little series will play out. Tampa has the better rotation and everyday players (especially with Mike Lowell out), while Boston has the better bullpen and home field advantage. Seriously, in all seven games of this series, Boston will be playing in front of at least a 50% fan base.

The teams Just Don't Like Each Other, and Boston's got a ton of post-season experience. Also, while Tampa's starters are good, they aren't lockdown great (even Scott Kazmir can be worked into high pitch counts that prevent him from going deep). Finally, Tampa's hitters will grip the bat too tight in their One Chance To Get To The World Series (seriously, even though they are young and affordable, everyone knows this can't last -- see Oakland, Minnesota, Cleveland and every other non-BOS-NYY-LAA AL team of the last decade).

So, I'm just going to pick what will happen, rather than what I want. That way, no matter what happens, I'm feeling like a winner. (Well, at least more than usual.)

Red Sox in 6.

Which, of course, gives us Boston cock-blocking another Philadelphia sports championship, while my football-only friends tell me that they really hate Washington, Dallas and New York instead. Please, my friends, can't we all come together in our hate for Boston teams and her fans? The rest of the nation is already there. Join in!