205 Drop: Top 10 reasons why this MLB season sucks

Today's drop has all kinds of misery, which I'm starting to realize is why the people who read this wildly unpopular blog, well, read it. Go click if you care.

205 Drop: Top 11 consolations for the NBA for Orlando beating Cleveland

Tonight's list is for all of those conspiracy lovers who wanted to run down the Association as being sold out for Kobe and LeBron. So go click and enjoy the slightly new content, or at the very least, in a shorter form.

205 drop: Top 10 least-loved MLB promotional giveaways

Your drop today has one item that's in highly questionable taste, and that's not even considering the highly unseemly thought of Manny Ramirez eating a home pregnancy test. Comedy ain't pretty, people. Go click and see where I've offended.

205 Drop: Top 10 approaching ethical crises in sports

Today's list is educational all over. For instance, I wasn't quite sure of the plural of crisis before. But seriously...

It has long been the belief of this writer that, as base and craven meatbags, we're in a bad way to deal with the ever-increasing speed of ethical concerns that breakthrough tech can bring. As a very small aside/example... I am, on average, a fairly dramatically short adult male. (How much? I'm looking up at Nate Robinson, and eye to eye with Muggsy Bogues. It comes in handy on trains and planes.) This (really, honestly, truly) doesn't bother me, and I'm sure it helped me develop my grinding worker ways; I wouldn't change my size, even with a pain-free one-shot pill.

But what if the Shooter Wife and I had the ability to give that one-shot pain-free height pill to the Shooter Kids? Would they be better off being more likely to be average height? (And, um, especially if the Shooter Kids were male.) And if we really want to up the ante into realms of not sports and not politically correct, substitute "sexual orientation" for "height."

In any event, my brain isn't big enough to deal. So, um, very big brained people? Please work these questions out, and fast, because the tech isn't slowing down... and I'm not sure our brains are speeding up.

Anyway, go click, post a comment, tell me I'm short, etc. And thanks, as always, for reading.

205 Drop: Top 10 items on my sports bucket list

Some nice morbid moments on this list, and if I'm lucky, a headline grabbing amount of interest for my refusal to get over my hate for Harold Katz. Go check it out, will you?

205 Drop: Top 12 ways to get a small child through an MLB game

Today's drop goes to dark places while having tons of useful suggestions for the baseball-loving parent. Honestly, your best move for such things is to never buy very good seats -- the kid will never be able to take anything less -- pack food if the stadium allows it, and keep in mind that you're not really going to see a game, so much as you are trying to indoctrinate a new person that will take you to games when you are old and feeble. Anyway, go click, there's some nice nastiness today.

205 Drop: Top 10 Historical Lays

Today's list for 205 is one of those classic Dumb Guy hypotheticals: who would you want to have relations with throughout history? I went partly from personal lust, partly from societal responsibility (you, yes you, could save the Beatles), and partly from the dream we all dream of -- being the very worst soul in Heaven. Enjoy the blasphemy!

205 Drop: Top 12 sports figures that I can't explain to my kid

The link today was a lot of work and something I'm fairly proud of, so go click. Besides, it's got a severely outdated picture of my eldest kid on it, so if you don't like it and click on it a lot, you must hate my kid. How could you?

205 drop: Top 10 live poker player types

Today's list could have easily gone much larger, but I have to leave something to the vibrant commenting community, don't I? I slay me. (And wonder, in my heart of hearts, if I'll ever get stupid enough about this game to go be a Main Event fish in Vegas for the WSOP. The answer is, of course, no, but not for the reason you think. Unlike say, my fixation on one day going to an Eagles Super Bowl win, the WSOP is an annual event, rather than a once in a lifetime one; the potential for getting that itch every year is way too great. Especially if I somehow cash. Anyway, go click...)

And just because I love you, Dear Reader, almost as much as I love hot lesbians, an extra dose of Jennifer Tilly that's probably NSFW. If she really wants to bluff someone out of a pot, she really should just recite this scene...

205 Drop: Top 10 reasons why David Ortiz is struggling

The list today is one of those small moments where we really can't just kick a man when he's down. For the record, I have nothing against Ortiz, despite the fact that the man has killed me in any number of fantasy leagues, previously with competence, and then last year by being on my roster. But at least I was able to avoid him this year, so we're all good.

Yankee Fan, of course, might feel a little bit differently. (And enjoy the list a bit more.)

Bonus 205 Drop: Top 10 signs of sports gambling degeneracy

The bonus link today comes from me messing up the posting date on my 205 drop, probably as a side effect of my growing gambling addiction. (I keed, I keed -- it's a very persistent gambling addiction, rather than a growing one.)

Anyway, go see where you stack up on the list. I'd put even money on 6 or higher.

205 Drop: Top 10 tips to get cheap heat from sports fans

Today's link is a good list of bad things for worse people, and I'm fairly sure that I've only engaged in some of these (in that the Photoshop work is beyond me).

I can also tell you, from having done this work for a couple of years now, that the big traffic posts are never the ones that you expect. A few weeks ago, I had a Lemur mention on a throwaway line following a Lakers recap; I also had a big traffic burst from a simple moment of appreciation for Stephen A. Smith. The latter also got me some relatively rare troll action (who knew Stephen A. had so much free time?), all for a fairly quick and dirty post.

The lesson: life, as Woody Allen once said, is 90% about showing up. So you just do the work and move on, and maybe get a payday or two if you're lucky. Or hated. That works too.

205 Drop: Top 10 most annoying sports fandoms

The top spot in the list today won't surprise any regular reader of the blog, but with any luck, it will be an equal opportunity cheap heat generator, because hey, that kind of thing is important.

There's also one more thing to say about this topic, which is that it's an entirely modern phenomenon. With the rise of Road Fan (and who can blame them, really, considering that airfare, hotel, rental car and front-row seats to see a top MLB+ team on the road is less than just going locally) and the Internets, we're all putting up with Other Fandoms more than we used to, and that's not going to go away anytime soon.

I am nothing if not cheery, kids.

Anyway, go click and get offended.

205 Drop: Top 10 train wrecks I want to see in a so bad it's good SportsCenter competitor

Today's link is a fairly esoteric piece of snark, but it speaks to a wonderful and true hope of mine -- namely, that the field is large enough to foster (nay, demand) actual competition, and perhaps on the national level. And no, I'm not talking about going to watch Lemur News instead.

At its core, SC is the network flagship, and it needs to not only serve its constituents with just enough to keep them coming back, but also to do something more substantial on an advertising standpoint. It needs to keep the audience young. (And good luck with that, given all of the forces that are making sports fans gray faster than the competition.) Correctly or no, brand marketers prize younger viewers, who have more time to buy crap, more willingness to try new products, and are increasingly difficult to reach through other television buys.

Which leads us to an opening for more than just disgruntled Lemur watchers, who, to be fair, are probably less gruntled than they should be from the monopolistic Lemur control of the art form. (Yes, yes, I know; you could be watching homer-centric coverage, especially on networks like Comcast, NESN, YES, SNY and a bunch of regional Fox plays. By the numbers, people generally don't. Moving on.)

What might a SC-esque competitor look like? Well, if you start with the idea that the target is in their mid 30s to mid 50s -- not the sexiest demographic to sell ad space to, but still a hell of a lot better than most -- and work backward from that. So the on-screen graphics are a little larger, with the font size upped a bit. Catch phrases and references are reined in. It's probably dryer, with more highlights from each game. Commentators are less apt to scream (and, sadder, be diverse from a gender or ethnic standpoint). Maybe you're just seeing washed-up newspaper guys here, since there's a glut of guys who that group feels favorable towards, and would like to see get work.

And it'll be horrible at the start, and lose money for years until it found its way, assuming it ever does, because that is the nature of such things. So screw it, and just give us the train wreck.

Oh, and today's list also gives me one more chance to consider the wit, wonder and wisdom that is Brian Collins, who really does deserve to have his name remembered for changing the way we look at sports. Forever.

205 Drop: Top 10 conclusions from the Manny Ramirez suspension

Today's list of snark concerns a little-known outfielder for the Dodgers, some guy by the name of Ramirez. It's a little surprising that he doesn't get more press notice, having been suspended for 50 games for violating the league's drug policy, but I suppose once this story happened to JC Romero, it's all old hat. Anyway, go click...

205 Drop: Top 10 signs you'll never make it to the start of the NFL season

Today's list is more or less directed at the people in my life who can't get into the cornucopia of spring sports goodness, because it has no football. I'm here to mock your pain, of course, because it's fun and I'm mean and there are 125 days until that first Thursday night when the only league that matters for you returns. Enjoy!

205 Drop: Top 12 ways to fake an interest in the NHL Playoffs

Today's list of snark plays on my 20-year-old knowledge of the NHL, a league that I used to geek so hard on, I used to organize Strat-O-Matic tournaments over it, and started my own pre-Internt stat league. Nothing, and I do mean nothing, says Geek Thug Life like running a league before the Net, and yes, this was The Before Women Era. How did you guess?

Anyway, I used to know everything there was to know about the league, to the point of winning the dork crown (and paying for my Steve Yzerman jersey) three years in a row. So what happened? Well, all sports viewing went away for a while in the '90s when music was my unpopular side career choice (rather than, well, this), and the NHL did everything they could to become less relevant to my life. Dull games -- the New Jersey Devils' "zone trap" alone made the game unwatchable -- work stoppages, crazed cable money grabs (you can still make old-time NHL fans shudder with the words "Sports Channel") and the worst management decisions ever made by a purported major league made me question why I was here, and if I really had to stay.

When a hockey game is low-scoring, it can be fascinating... but it can also feel like the outcome is more or less random. No player in any sport has more impact on a game than a hockey goalie; if he's terrible, you lose no matter what, and if he's great, you win no matter what. Most of the time, the games aren't decided by the difference between the pipes, but it happens enough of the time, and kept happening to my Flyers, to make me wonder why I watched or care.

Being a Flyers fan also didn't help, as it meant my team would routinely kill my hopes in the post-season and make me hate management (Bobby Clarke, the player, good -- Bob Clark, the GM, horrifying) and my fellow fan. People talk about Philly Fan as if he's always the same guy, but he really isn't. Sixer Fan is not Flyer Fan is not Phillies Fan is not Eagles Fan; there is a different mix of defeatism and rancor that ratchets it up the line as you move away from sports where both teams have to play well to make it watchable for anyone but the laundry enthusiast (basketball, hockey), to activities where domination by your team isn't ever boring (baseball, football). This makes your fan base more or less tolerable to be around, in my opinion.

Anyway, as the blog has now greatly exceeded its yearly quota of NHL talk and given hope to the folks who are desperate for any non-NBA post, go click and enjoy the cheap heat already. With any luck, I'll have Canadians insulting me soon enough, because it's just adorable when they try to do that...

205 Drop: Top 10 ways the NBA will try to spice up the rest of the NBA playoffs

Just in time for the Blowout Round of the NBA playoffs (you'll forgive me, dear readers, for catching up on my sleep and day job, rather than watch the Cavs roll the Hawks or the Nuggets roll the Mavs last night, in all likelihood ending both of those series), it's a fresh list of snark for your perusing enjoyment. Sharp-eyed readers will note the 28th attempt to push the meme of Cheerleader Catfighting, which puts that meme somewhere in the realm of running site gag and uncomfortable personal admission.

And since the list was written before the Rockets upset the Lakers in Game One (I know, I know, it's shocking how these things are written in advance, isn't it?), there's always the chance of Rocket Fan getting all bent out of shape, which is always fun. Of course, this assumes the existence of Rocket Fan, or that he can pry himself away from the gun range and secessionist Web sites to put thumbs to keyboard. (Bonus round for people who enjoy reading angry comments: see how many of them assume that I'm a Laker Fan.)

205 Drop:Top 10 effects of the swine flu pandemic on US sports

Today's link is ripped from last week's headlines and this week's lingering paranoia, especially from your less-savvy Internet-using relatives. It's the usual chucklefest, and will hopefully get those delightful commenters to tell me that (a) poker is not a sport, (b) soccer is popular so there, and (c) CC Sabathia doesn't consume so much pork in a week as to have his name and picture hung up somewhere in a porcine revenge cult's hall of murderers. In other words, the usual crowd of people making the tragic mistake of taking life too seriously.

As for the pandemic itself, as I turn off the Snark Light and punditize for a moment, I have to say that I was amazed at the Mexican authorities reaction to it. Imagine, if you would, baseball, football and basketball games that were played, but closed to the public. I think you'd have the lawyers involved, and heavily, on a million fronts: people suing for the right to go to the game (particularly if they had tickets already), others crying that their right of free (well, far from free, but you get the point) assembly had been violated, to the vending and parking and other temp jobs that would go bye-bye without a crowd to serve. Maybe those house seats from across the street at Wrigley go for five figures then. Etc.

I'm also certain that we'd have untold amounts of Lemur coverage as to how the home team was being made to lose an incredible advantage from the non-home game, and stat geeks and degenerate gamblers working every last kernel of information to see if there was an edge in the de facto change of venue. To wit: would a silent stadium aid or abet free throw shooting? Would the lack of tens of thousands of bodies (and their subsequent, albeit probably infinitesimal, effect on the wind, humidity and temperature) help the pitcher more, or the hitter? Would offensive teams go to a silent count for fear that the clearly held QB would tip off play calling? And so on, and so on, and so on.

Heck, at this point, I'm a little intrigued by the no-crowd game. Bring on the plague!

Oh, and the Mexicans? They just played soccer and moved on; I think they're going back to normal this week. Something to be said for that, of course, but dammit... I thought you people were supposed to be more fun than the gringos, no?

205 Drop: Top 10 signs the new Yankee Stadium is a bandbox

Some quick words about the usual list of snark this morning that aren't nearly as funny, at least not intentionally...

It's not exactly a done deal that the new yard is Coors East. But if it is, the home town team is in serious, serious trouble.

The Yankee philosophy of winning baseball, such as it is under the Fredo Steinbrenner / Brian Cash and More Cashman regime, is simply this: win with as little risk of not winning as possible. You do that by collecting the most predictable asset in MLB; dependable offensive power, preferably based around the merits of slugging and on-base percentage, on offense, and premium starting pitching on defense.

Year over year, this is the asset that is collected in the Bronx; it is also what they draft for, value in trade, and pay for to such an extent that little, if anything, is left over for injury back-ups (witness what they've trotted out there at catcher and third base during the recent A-Rod and Posada injuries). It's also the asset that is most destroyed by a bandbox yard.

Simply put, when your obscenely compensated power hitter hits a three-run bomb that goes 450 feet in the new place, it's a good thing; it keeps the stands filled, creates nice easy high-margin run wins that cover over your faltering bullpen, and stakes your power rotation arms to just rare back and get outs the old-fashioned way; by themselves. You win lots of 8-5 kind of games, you almost never have a long losing streak, and when a bad pitching team comes to town, or you play an MLB- squad after the All-Star Break, you roll them. It's not exactly a formula for playoff success, but you get there, and what the hey, if a few guys get hot in October, you win it all. It's a game that dozens of MLB franchises would like to play; it's roughly akin to being the big stack in poker, bullying the other players, and seeing every flop.

But if the new yard is a bandbox? Well then, your obscenely compensated home run hitter is matched by my MLB- Jason Kendall clone (that'd be the A's Kurt Suzuki, who is as good of a young catcher as you can have, provided you ignore his absolute lack of power) going opposite-field yard, as he did in a recent game at Yankee Stadium 2, Electric Offensive Boogaloo. Suddenly, what wins isn't the neutralized power hitters or the suddenly overtaxed starting pitching, but defense and pitching depth -- you know, like last year's Phillies team, or the '07 Rockies. Compare the defending World Series champions on defense against this Yankee team, especially at shortstop and the outfield (and yes, Yankee Fan, it helps a lot if the outfielder can throw, rather than just run). Compare the relative stats of the middle relievers, provided you can stand to look at WHIPs that look like ERAs, and ERAs that look like interest rates from a guy who breaks thumbs.

Even if the place is what it seems to be, I don't think that NYY falls off the face of the earth; there's too much talent here for the yard to completely overwhelm it, and they do play half of their games on the road, in front of mostly supportive crowds, with relatively few bandbox yards. Maybe the road games keep the pitching staff close to together, or maybe they see real benefit from previous washouts; Phil Hughes looked good in his first start, and Ian Kennedy and Kei Igawa have been better so far in AAA.

But right now, they are constructed in a way that's opposed by their surroundings, and I don't remember a winning MLB team, plus or otherwise, that you could say that about. And more importantly, I don't see this management team being bright enough to change the way they view talent to change anytime soon.