Best and Worst of 2015

An interesting turn of events has been occurring in the past few years. Like a perfect storm, slowly developing into a deadly juggernaut, Disney is now reigning king as the most successful movie studio in history. It all started with the deadly double knock out of acquiring both Marvel and Star Wars! All of the sudden, boom, they’ve made some of the most successful films ever, actually, scratch that, with The Force Awakens, they’ve produced what will apparently turn into THE most successful movie of all time. And it doesn’t look like they’ll be stopping any time soon; audiences are devouring everything that Disney is producing! And their slate of films for the coming years promises to keep them on top for the foreseeable future. All other movie studios better shape up! In terms of commercial films, Disney is gobbling you guys up like yesterdays leftovers! That’s right my friends, all other studios are playing catch up to the house that Mickey built. This does not mean that other studios aren’t producing quality stuff; it just means that Disney is good at marketing. They also have the money to not only make the most expensive films out there; they can also amass the most talented group of filmmakers. It will be interesting to see other studios step it up. One thing is for sure, they have very stiff competition! So anyways, here’s my list of best and worst of 2015, I haven’t seen everything, so obviously, some really good ones aren’t on this list yet. But of the ones that I have seen this past year, these were the ones I loved and hated the most, enjoy! I’ve divided this article into three parts, 'The Worst of the Year', the ones that were 'Not Bad But Not Great' and finally, 'The Best of the Year'. Let’s start off with the worst shall we?  

WORST OF 2015

Fantastic Four (2015)

Comments: Quite possibly the Fiasco of the year, Fantastic Four was doomed from the get go thanks to all the shenanigans that were going on behind the scenes. First off, this was a 20^th Century Fox film and nowadays, audiences only want their Marvel films to be made entirely by Marvel, anything else gets  suspected of being crap. To make matters worse, Josh Trank, this films director, had a dark tone in mind for this Fantastic Four film while the studio wanted something lighter, as a result the studio took the film from Trank and did it their way. As most film buffs know this is never ever a good thing on any production. Sure I've seen far worse films in my life time, but the final results with this particular film are hard to ignore. It was too violent for kids but with dialog that was too silly for adults. The story felt choppy, like a rushed job. The studio tried to cover the mess with a bunch of visual effects in the films finale, but by then the damage had spread too far and the resulting Fantastic Four movie we got was a huge messy thing, enjoyable at times, but ultimately unable to deliver the truly satisfying Fantastic Four film we all yearn for.

Quote: “We are not gods, just people. And we are stronger together than we are apart.”

Insurgent (2015)

Comments: I halfway enjoyed the first one, which is why I gave this second one a chance. But damn, this second one was just so boring, so blah, that I didn’t even feel the need to write a review for it. There’s that and then there’s the fact that this whole teenagers against the system sub-genre has worn its welcome a long time ago. Please just stop making all these movies, they all feel the same! To make matters worse, we have to see good actors shaming themselves by appearing on these crappy movies and saying this inane dialog. I mean, how sad is it to see Naomi Watts and Kate Winslet on this thing?

Quote: “You can take the girl out of abnegation, but you can’t take abnegation out of the girl.”

Jupiter Ascending (2015)

Comments: The Wachowski brothers downward spiral continues, ever downward! So sad because at one point, these two directors were considered cutting edge! Now they are considered makers of want to be science fiction operas. Jupiter Ascending suffered from some really bad miscasting, mainly that of Mila Kunis in the role of the worker bee who ends up becoming the Queen of the Universe. Kunis isn’t a bad actress, I’ve seen her do good in films like Black Swan (2010), but here, she just didn’t feel like a Queen, like someone who would command an entire society. Her journey from janitor, to queen of the galaxy was too quick. We never saw her go through a process, therefore it’s all a bit hard to swallow, even for a science fiction film. To top things off, the visual effects were too messy visually speaking. Will the Wachowski’s ever make a comeback to good science fiction cinema?  

Quote: “A dream is the only way any of this makes sense.”

Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)

Comments: Here’s a movie I hate with all my heart, and ladies, don’t take this the wrong way, I don’t mind sexy thrillers, but this one is just a freaking fantasy. I mean, sure there are maybe one or two guys out there in the world this film was made for. But for the 98% of out there, this movie was made so our girlfriends would hate us. I mean, who can live up to the standards set by the gazillionaire on this film? Basically, this movie was made for the common woman out there to float on a nimbus cloud for two hours, so then they can come down to the reality of the poor schmuck they have for a boyfriend and think “why am I with this loser?” So yeah, this is a fantasy for the ladies, I just hope they realize that in the real world, most of us poor schmoes don’t have our own private helicopters or jet planes.

Quote: “I don’t make love. I fuck…HARD!”

John Wick (2015)

Comments: Here’s a film that didn’t impress me at all, yet a lot of people seemed to like. Maybe I need to give it a re-watch? I mean, this is one by the numbers, been there done that affair. There’s nothing original about it, nothing moves the movie forward, and the so called “style”, I’m sorry I just didn’t see it. They killed he’s dog and he has to kill every Russian he sees because of this? Wow. Amazing. Please, shoot ME! I don’t mind stylish empty violence, but hey, I’d like to see some actually trickery with the camera to keep things interesting, not a cgi bullet ballad with no blood or gore. Where’s the real freaking violence? This is so pg-13 it’s nauseating! They are actually making a sequel, let’s hope they can inject some sense and meaning into the film this time around, because this one was an empty shell, with no style, no guts and in my book, no freaking glory.

Quote: “In a bar, I once saw him kill three men, with a pencil. A fucking pencil!”

Maggie (2015)

Comments: Zombies and Arnold Schwarzenegger, sounds like a winning combination right? Well, yeah, unless you're talking about a film called Maggie (2015), then you're talking about a borefest. Man, I was expecting one thing and got another. I was expecting Arnold blowing up zombie heads, instead I got Arnie attempting a melodrama. I'm sorry, I tried liking this one but it was just too damn slow and not in a good way. I mean, I don't mind dramas, I don't even mind slow zombie movies, but this one was just so uneventful.

Quote: "Dad, you've protected me all your life. Now it's my turn to protect you. There is life with you not with me."

Pixels (2015)

Comments: Pixels was a low blow to my nostalgia. It got me by flashing all those old video game characters on the screen during its trailer, but once I was in the theater I was like “what is this shit?” Adam Sandler has totally lost my respect, I mean, what the hell man, you aren’t even trying. You don’t care about making movies, or cinema, you just care about the dough. So yeah, it’s safe to say that Sandler has completely lost my respect. Simply having old video game characters in your film will not make it a good film, you have to have a gripping story and least of all, a bit of sense. This was a half assed effort from a crew that should’ve known better. I mean, come on, this piece of crap came from the guy who wrote Gremlins (1984) and The Goonies (1985)? Really?

Quote: “Pac Man’s a bad guy?”

American Ultra (2015)

Comments: Wow, what a waste of celluloid. First up, I went into this film with high expectations because of the creative team behind it, namely, writer Max Landis, a writer who has rarely let me down. I loved his Victor Frankenstein (2015) and loved the hell out of Chronicle (2012). The concept for this film was an interesting one, though not entirely original. We’ve seen the secret agent who doesn’t know he’s a secret agent until he is activated routine before in films like The Manchurian Candidate (1962) and Salt (2010). The original element on this film is that the oblivious secret agent is a stoner who works in a convenience store. He has panic attacks whenever he tries to leave the United States. He doesn’t have a whole lot of ambitions in life, he’s happy with his contempt life. But his secret agent past is catching up to him. Sadly, while that does sound like an interesting concept, the way it is told is just so been there done that. Around the halfway point, this movie felt so boring and un-original that to finish it was torture. The films only saving grace? John Leguizamo as a cocaine snorting drug dealer.    

Quote: “Something very weird is happening to me…I keep killing people! There’s a chance I may be a robot!”  

NOT BAD BUT NOT GREAT

Poltergeist (2015)

Comments: Okay, of course this one was poised to get hatred from people. It’s the remake of a beloved horror classic from the 80’s, but I always give remakes the benefit of the doubt. This one didn’t totally disappoint because it had decent visual effects and a couple of innovative concepts, like sending a drone with a camera to the other side. But when measured up against the awesomeness of the original, this one was missing some gravitas, mainly; the horror element was brought down a couple of notches. Suddenly this film was no longer scary; suddenly the spectacle is no longer there. When you watch the original, you feel like the filmmakers wanted to wow us. When you watch this remake, you’ll feel no such passion. Even the ’Freaky Freelings’  are less charismatic this time around. You feel the film is pretty much “by the numbers” and decidedly less scary. Which sucks, I mean, what’s the point in making a horror film less horrifying? You’re supposed to up the ante, not bring it down people!  

Quote: “They’re here…”

Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)

Comments: Of course I didn’t hate this one; it had Hulk going up against Iron Man! But can I pin point what I didn’t like about this film? I still can’t quite figure it out. I think it was the overdose of computer generated effects. I think nothing feels real anymore, I know that what we’re looking at was never filmed; it was rendered in a computer. People are no longer wowed by a legion of evil robots because we know actors are fighting against nothing, standing in front of a green screen. But there was something else wasn’t it? Could it be that these stories are getting too big for their own good? If you save the world on this one what do you save on the next one? The Universe? And then what? God? Speaking of which…that is exactly what the Avengers are going to be going up against soon, Thanos becomes a God, so my assumptions aren’t that far from the truth! Here’s hoping they manage to make these movies heartfelt and tangible, because effects for effects sake can have a numbing effect. Goddamit, the trick is to make me care for what is happening! Put some feeling and intensity into it or else my brain just registers it as an empty spectacle as heartless as the robots in your movie.

Quote: “The city is flying and we’re fighting an army of robots. And I have a bow and arrow. 

Nothing makes sense.”

Terminator: Genisys (2015)

Comments: This franchise keeps jumping from production company to production company ever since Linda Hamilton sold the rights to the franchise with Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003). Since then, each sequel that has followed has been made by a different production company, the result is a very uneven franchise, with each production company changing things just a bit while retaining the franchises strongest selling point: Arnold Schwarzenegger. The filmmakers behind this one decided to wipe out everything that had been done before in order to make a brand new mess of their own. The film went with the current Hollywood formula of giving us a bit of the original with a bit of the new, this is why we go back to 1984, and that fateful first try at eliminating John Connor before he was born. Unfortunately, no sequel after Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1992) has been able to surpass what Cameron did with that film. It is my personal belief that only when the rights revert back to Cameron and he himself directs a Terminator film, will we get a good Terminator film.

Quote: “If we die tonight, mankind dies with us.”

PAN (2015)

Comments: What went wrong with this new take on Peter Pan? Well, even though the film flopped at the box office in a huge way, I pretty much enjoyed this one. I mean, we get the Pan, we get the flying pirate boats, we get the pixie dust. Could it be that what people really missed was Captain Hook? Truth be told, good old Captain Hook is a huge part of the Peter Pan equation, and not giving him to us the way we know and love him, with his huge mustache, his hook and his fear for giant crocodiles, well, that only leaves us with half of the Pan equation. I think the film was entertaining, but without Hook it was only half of what it could have been. And Hugh Jackman as Blackbeard, just wasn’t Hook. I get that they wanted to eventually give us the full blown version of Hook in future films of this planned franchise, but since this first film flopped so hard, well, I guess we’ll never see it.  

Quote: “I am going to tell you a story about a boy who would never grow up.”

Krampus (2015)

Comments: Krampus is Michael Dougherty applying the formula he used on Trick R’ Treat (2007), but with Christmas. Basically the formula says if you don’t celebrate the holiday, then you’re going to die! On this one we meet a family that hates each other, so much so that one of the kids in the family wishes they would all die! In comes Krampus, a demon who is basically the reverse of Santa Claus. He doesn’t bring toys to little boys and girls, he takes little boys and girls! So basically, everything that’s jolly and beautiful and merry in X-Mas, gets turned spooky and horrifying. The whole film takes place during a blizzard, which makes everything scarier. I mean, this movie is extremely atmospheric which I loved. My only fault with the film is that I wish it had been gorier, because I was expecting a full blown Christmas horror film, and not a kiddie version of it.

Quote: “Saint Nicholas isn’t coming this year, instead, a much darker ancient spirit. His name is Krampus.He and his helpers did not come to give, but to take. He is the shadow of Saint Nicholas.”

Furious 7 (2015)

Comments: Well, what can I say, it was a brainless action film all the way. It had nifty action sequences, same as in the whole series, in a phrase, it was entertaining. This production was struck by tragedy because as we all know, Paul Walker died mid-production. This made the whole affair more sentimental, many an audience member shed a tear or at the very least got watery eyed. The film itself was fun, with action sequences getting more and more unrealistic as the franchise progresses, as I said in my review for it, I half way expect the crew to be sent into space for the next film. But apparently they wont go that far, I hear the next one takes place in Cuba. This franchise has become a guilty pleasure of mine, can't call them "good" films perse, but I can't deny I have a blast every time I go see them. This one was no exception.

Quote: "No matter where you are, whether its a quarter of a mile a way, or half a world away, you'll always be with me and you'll always be my brother. " 

BEST FILMS OF 2015

It Follows (2014)

Comments: When it comes to modern horror films, most of the time the good ones don’t even get a big theatrical release. This is something that doesn’t register with me because the horror that does get released theatrically is just abysmally bad.  It Follows, though not a perfect horror film, is effectively creepy. It  even manages to make scenes that take place on a beach, during the day, scary. Kudos to first time director David Robert Mitchell for knocking it out of the park early in his career, I hope he doesn’t give up on making horror.

Quote: “Like I told you, all you can do is pass it on to someone else.”   

Chappie (2015)

Comments: Chappie was like taking Robocop and Robocop 2 and mixing it with Short Circuit (1986) and Short Circuit 2 (1987). Basically, a scientist creates a robot that thinks on its own, against the wishes of the robot manufacturing company he works for. When “Chappie” the robot becomes sentient, he’s like a little baby, lost in the world and ready to be taken advantage of. This one has Neil Blomkamp’s trademark skinny robots, which he has been using since his first short films ‘Yellow’ and ‘Tempbot’. Though this film has elements from the films I mentioned earlier, it also ends up going into completely original territory, especially towards its final act. It even gets existential, toying with themes of god and questioning our reasons for living.

 Quote: “Remember, no matter what happens, you were made for good.”

The Babadook (2014)

Comments: Another amazing horror film from a new filmmaker, Jennifer Kent. This film is all about a spooky children’s book that once you read it, it gets in your head and doesn’t get out! A single mother must protect her son from the creature called ‘The Babadook’. The scares creep up on you, it’s a slow burner, but when it gets you it gets you! It is an extremely atmospheric film. It brought to mind films like Roman Polanski’s Repulsion (1965), with its female protagonist going nuts in her own home. Turn out the lights, snuggle in your couch and don’t watch it alone!

Quote: “You can’t get rid of the Babadook.”

SPY (2015)

My introduction to Melissa McCarthy was this awful film she made with Susan Sarandon called Tammy (2014). I started watching that one and just couldn’t finish it. I was not impressed I tell ya. I was like this is the big deal? Good word of mouth on Spy made me curious for it. I mean, how bad can it be if everyone is praising it so much? Then I saw a scene in which Jude Law accidentally kills a bad guy because he sneezes while pointing at him with a gun and I laughed my ass off so I decided to give Spy the benefit of the doubt. I’m glad I did, this movie had me laughing all the way through! It’s an excellent James Bond spoof! I think McCarthy works best when in collaboration with director Paul Feig. Spy was so funny that it made me want to check out another Paul Feig/Melissa McCarthy collaboration called The Heat (2013). Also, I feel very optimistic about Feig and McCarthy’s upcoming collaboration: Ghostbusters (2016), something tells me that one is going to work out well.

Quote: “I drove a car off a freeway, on top of a train, while it was on fire. Not the car, I was on fire!”   

Jurassic World (2015)

Comments: This was not the most original film in the world; actually, it did exactly what J.J. Abrams did with Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015), it gave us more of the same. I guess Hollywood’s new formula is “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it”, basically, they are giving us more of what we loved the first time out; they want to make the best out of our nostalgia for the movies we grew up with, which is why like The Force Awakens, Jurassic Park feels like a remake of Spielberg’s Jurassic Park (1992). But I guess this is okay as long as it’s done in an entertaining manner. Audiences sure didn’t mind because they made Jurassic World one of the biggest money makers of the year, breaking all kinds of records, which then The Force Awakens went on to break. This formula Hollywood is milking for all its work includes one interesting clause, with every retread of an old action sequence we get new elements that open the door for new sequels and so at least we finally get to see the park open its doors to the public and we get a couple of new dinosaurs to look at. Also, Chris Pratt showed us he has what it takes to be the next Indiana Jones.

Quote: “Maybe you should include that in the brochure…that eventually one of these things will eat someone.”

Victor Frankenstein (2015)

Comments: Another great surprise that nobody went to see, primarily because some genius over at 20^th Century Fox decided to release it close to the release of a little film called The Force Awakens and so, guess who lost that little war? The Force Awakens was sucking money out of people’s pockets months before it was even released, and so, none of that money went to Victor Frankenstein, which died a quick death at the box office, a pity because Victor Frankenstein was actually a really fun take on Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. Of course we’ve seen Frankenstein’s tale told time and time again, but this time the film focuses on telling the story from Igor’s point of view. The filmmakers decided that Igor needed an update, so on this one, Igor isn’t in “Yes, Master!” mode, he’s actually an important part of the experiments that bring the dead back to life. This was a fast paced, atmospheric film that you should give a chance to once it reaches home video.

Quote: “It’s alive!”

Crimson Peak (2015)

Comments: Guillermo del Toro movies are a gift from the movie gods, so of course I was excited to see this, primarily because Guillermo del Toro is a real horror film connoisseur. I’ve heard him wax poetic about horror films, and the guy goes in deep. He’s one of the few directors out there who has a true appreciation for horror. This isn’t just some director making a horror film, this ghost story comes from a lover of the genre, and to top things off, he’s one of the best genre directors out there. Not everyone who makes a horror movie is a real, true blue, nitty gritty, horror buff. Del Toro is! In line with this, Crimson Peak is an amalgamation of atmosphere and situations gathered from a zillion horror films. The influences on this one are many, among them Roger Corman’s The Fall of the House of Usher (1960) and Robert Wise’s The Haunting (1963), so it’s old school, atmospheric scares, the kind that slowly creep up on you. At heart it’s a tragic love story, but with ghosts. Very gothic, very atmospheric, this is a beautiful film to look at with an amazing color palette (a del Toro signature) and amazing, jaw dropping art direction.  

Quote: “Where I come from, ghosts are not be taken lightly.”

Tomorrowland (2015)

Comments: Here’s a movie that went down the toilet as soon as it premiered. No one went to see it for whatever the reason. It became a huge box office failure for director Brad Bird, a director who is usually associated with successful family films like Ratatouille (2007) and The Incredibles (2004). Tomorrowland’s downfall is a shame because not only is it extremely fun, it also sends an extremely positive message. We live in a world in which we are always being told that things suck, that things are bad and that they are only going to get worse. What this movie proposes is that we stop talking about how bad things are and that we start talking about how we can improve them. It asks all those creative, intelligent minds out there to rise up and make the world a better place. Tomorrowland sends this message out there in a very entertaining and fun manner, with the aid of some excellent special effects. This was one of the best surprises of the year; it’s the coolest movie you never saw. What this film connoisseur proposes is that you give it a chance. You might discover a film that touches your soul and brings a tear to your eye.

Quote: “Dreamers need to stick together, it’s not programming, it’s personal.”

Ex-Machina (2015)

Comments: Ex-Machine is Alex Garland’s first stab at directing a feature film. Normally Garland is on the writing part of the filmmaking equation. He’s responsible for the scripts for films like 28 Days Later (2002) and Dredd (2012), but for Ex-Machina, he got behind the cameras. Sometimes when a writers decides they want to direct a film, the results aren’t always great, but not on this occasion. Ex-Machina was an excellent slice of science fiction! It’s an intriguing film that will keep you on your toes. Oscar Isaac plays the inventor behind a new form of cyborg, but before he puts it out on the market he wants to test it, see how it reacts to questions, how it thinks. The film goes into existential territory by asking questions like do we make our own choices? Are we being watched all the time by an all powerful entity? Are we masters of our own destiny? A psychological film every step of the way that shows that Garland has talent for both directing and writing films.   

Quote: “No matter how rich you get, shit goes wrong. You can’t insulate yourself from it. I used to think it was death and taxes you couldn’t avoid, but it’s actually death and shit.”

Ant-Man (2015)

Comments: The big draw with Ant Man is that it isn’t one of these huge storylines like in The Avengers (2012), where the fate of the entire galaxy is in the balance, no; Ant-Man is a more personal story about a father trying to redeem himself in the eyes of his daughter. This is a movie about a regular Joe who discovers a way to miniaturize himself, so a smaller story goes perfectly well with the films premise. Even with its smaller scaled story, Ant-Man managed to be every bit as entertaining as some of Marvels bigger films. The effects were amazing on this show.  Also, it gets unexpectedly surreal and trippy. Add to that a good measure of humor via Paul Rudd and the excellent supporting cast and you got yourselves a winner.

Quote: “Sorry I’m late, I was saving the world. You know how that is.” 

Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation (2015)

Comment: This was another surprise for me because to be honest, I’d lost all interest in this series. Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol (2011) while entertaining, didn’t really say anything to me. It was just mindless action, empty calories. But Rogue Nation impressed me because the uped the ante in terms of stunts, which were performed by the ever surprising Tom Cruise. The stunts are truly impressive on this one, blow your mind impressive. Add to that an interesting plot line about the government wanting to eliminate secret agents (which was strangely similar to Spectre (2015) by the way) and you got yourselves a film with maximum entertainment value.   

Quote: “Human nature…my weapon of choice.”

Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)

Comments: This one was a sweet surprise when I went to see it in theaters. I went into this one blind, not knowing anything about it. I came out with a smile on my face; my head exploded into a million colors out of joy. This is a James Bond spoof done right, something along the lines of If Looks Could Kill (1991), only, you know, a million times better! The action, the effects, the pacing…all great! There’s this show stopping scene that involves a massacre inside of a church, that’s just wow. You have to see it to believe it. A movie with a bite, that has no problems criticizing the world we live in.

   

Quote: “I’m a catholic whore, currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black, Jewish boyfriend who works at a military abortion clinic. So, hail Satan and have a lovely afternoon madam.”

Spectre (2015)

Comments: The reconstruction of what we knew as the James Bond universe continues with Spectre, a film that yet again smashes everything we've come to know about 007 and repackages it in an entertaining and intriguing way. This is the 24th Bond film and the 4th starring Daniel Craig in what is possibly one of the best Bonds to ever light up the silver screen. It looks like this might be the last time Craig plays the character, but with the success of his run, I seriously doubt it. Something I enjoyed about this particular Craig/Bond film, it regained its sense of humor, something that had been sorely missing from Craig's Bond films. Spectre is another solid entry in the Bond franchise, a franchise that is enjoying now, after so many years, some of its best moments.

Quote: "You are a kite, dancing in a hurricane Mr. Bond."

The Hateful Eight (2015)

Comments: A Tarantino film is always a gift from the movie gods, so I was most anxious to see this, the eigth Tarantino film. For Tarantino, cinema is his religion, he breaths it, lives for it. I love seeing anything he does because making a film is a sacred affair for him, each frame, each line of dialog, meticulously chosen to perfection. At the core, is that perfectly written and planned out script, which is why most Tarantino films are so good. This time around he revisits the theme that reigns supreme over his cinematic repertoire: racism. It is not as obvious as in previous films (like say Django: Unchained) but yeah, with The Hateful Eight he once again touches upon mans discrepancies with their skin color. This time around, the story is all about these eight people who get trapped in a cabin in the middle of nowhere thanks to a raging blizzard. Who wants to kill who and why? Tarantino effectively builds tension and brilliantly develops characters. You’d think that a film that takes place almost entirely in a cabin would be boring? Then think again. Tarantino will make you laugh and cringe all in one swoop. This one is drenched in gore and blood so be ready for that! Another winner from one of the best directors in cinema.

Quote: “But when John Ruth ‘The Hangman’ catches you….you hang!”

Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)

Comments: So yeah, it was a real joy to see this one. Disney and J.J. Abrams knew what they were doing when they made this nostalgia bullet to the heart. By using A New Hope as the blueprint for this new adventure, they managed to give us that old Star Wars we knew and loved. It was a shot of familiarity that wiped clean the bad tasted left by Lucas’s overtly political prequels. It was awesome seeing Han and Chewie back flying the Millenium Falcon. And it was awesome to see so many interesting new characters populate the Star Wars universe! Not only that, the new characters rocked the house! Kudos to Disney for putting a woman and a black man in the leading roles! There was not a single Jar-Jar Binks type character in sight! In addition to that, Disney and J. J. Abrams went old school with this one by actually building sets and props as opposed to having everything be computer generated and for that I applaud these guys! This was a film that didn’t forget to be fun; it didn’t forget that the simplicity of the originals was part of their success. These films are back to being about good guys vs. bad guys and it’s a welcome return to form for the Star Wars universe. This is without a doubt the film of the year, maybe not the best of the year (that slot was saved for the next film on my list) but The Force Awakens was an event, an experience that brought an entire generation and their kids back to movie theaters. The force was strong with this film!

Quote: “The force is strong in my family. My father has it, I have it, my sister has it. You have that power too.”  

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

Comments: I was expecting big things from Mad Max: Fury Road (2015), but nothing could have prepared me for the onslaught of awesomeness that would be unleashed upon my retinas in that darkened theater. This movie is a work of art. Every time I watch it and I have watched it many times since its release, my eyes are glued to the screen. I love the dialog, the cars, the performances, and of course the stunts! Real cars, real stunts! What I loved about Mad Max: Fury Road, aside from the brilliance in storytelling and visual flare is that computer generated images were used to enhance and not to take over the film. George Miller proved with this one what we film buffs have always known, that he is a true auteur. He understands the language of cinema, knows how our minds and our eyes work and he uses that to his advantage as a story teller. Charlize Theron as Imperator Furiosa was spot on casting and Tom Hardy as Max? The icing on the cake! I loved the fact that they put the female in a leading role! I loved that it was all about protecting the dignity and liberty of women. This to me is the best made film of the year, it deserves to win Academy Awards in cinematography, visual effects and hell, why not, I’d nominate George Miller for director of the year. Mad Max: Fury Road is a filmmaking feat that no other director could duplicate! Rarely does a director leave his mark on a film the way Miller did with this one, my hats down to him for making such a memorable film! Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015) was “the movie of the year” but Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) is the better picture, which is why I give it my number one spot. If you haven’t seen it yet, what are you waiting for? Go and experience the madness!

Quote: “If I’m gonna die, I’m gonna die historic! On the Fury Road!”  

Best and Worst Films of 2014

I'll start things off by pointing out that I haven’t seen many of the films considered the best of the year, among them Gone Girl, The Skeleton Twins, Theory of Everything,  The Two Faces of January, Still Alice and The Imitation Game …you could say I've skipped a lot of those Oscar chosen, Golden Globe winners…but anyways, no worries, I’ll be reviewing those during the coming month as well. So anyhow, recapping this year, I’d say it was a weird year for commercial blockbusters, the summer –a time usually reserved for an onslaught of big budget spectacles- was a huge void, with very few blockbusters to titillate. I guess they were saving all the good ones for 2015, which is poised to be a juggernaut year at the box office! There were also a lot of bad films, some of which I've included in the 'Worst of the Year' segment of this article, this is something I've decided to add to my end of the year review thing. Past lists were comprised of only the best, but this year there were so many crappy movies, I couldn't help myself, so from now on, my end of the year review will also include the worst of the year! Hope you’ll find this list useful, this is the cream of the crop my friends, also, the worst of the worst, so you can choose wisely when the time comes to watch a good movie. Enjoy!

Only Lovers Left Alive

Comments:  So yeah, I know this one was released theatrically on 2013, but it was released on dvd on 2014, so I count it among my favorite of 2014. I’m sure some of you out there will do the same. So anyhow, this is Jim Jarmusch’s latest and boy, it’s awesome that it’s a vampire flick. Of course, this being Jarmusch (the living embodiment of artsy/independent cinema) this is a vampire flick that breaks with all the parameters of a vampire film. It has a lot of what makes a Jarmusch film great: great atmosphere, a slow yet interesting pace and characters I couldn’t stop watching. How cool are these vamps? They a cultured group, they hang out at rock and roll bars and eat blood popsicles, they like to spend their eternity reading good books and listening to music, and hanging out with Shakespeare, who by the way is also a vampire!. If you’re in the mood for a slower paced film, with moody characters who love to sulk in their sadness and despair, then this is the movie for you. I loved the locations, first the movie starts off in dilapidated real life Detroit Rock City, and then it shifts to Tangiers, Morocco. The visuals and the vibe in both locations offer distinctively different atmospheres and beautiful visuals. Another existential film from the master of existential films, Jim Jarmusch.   

Quote: “I just feel like all the sand is at the bottom of the hour glass or something”

22 Jump Street

Comments: So yeah, I always like to include comedies in my best of lists because usually they get ignored or lost in the shuffle, same as horror movies do. So anyways, I’m including 22 Jump Street because it actually made laugh. It’s stupid yes, it’s formulaic yet color me stupefied, I couldn’t stop laughing! One thing I enjoyed about the film is that it’s very self conscious, they know they are making a “cash in” sequel, so they reference the fact throughout the dialog. I thought it was kind of hilarious that way, I mean, they acknowledge the fact that they “got lucky with the first one” and so they are giving us the same crap all over again, but with a bigger budget. Another thing I dug about this movie is that the whole ending of the film was shot in Puerto Rico on this beach I’ve gone to a million times, so it was also cool seeing my own country on a film, But that aside, what matters at the end of the day is that this one made me laugh. The plot never mattered at all and they knew it. What matters is the improvisational comedy that Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum pull off on any given situation, which is surprisingly hilarious.

Quote: “We Jump Street, and we about to Jump in Yo’ ass!”

Snowpiercer

Comments: Now here’s a film that caught me completely by surprise. It came out of left field for me, but I rented it because I liked the premise which reminded me of Wong Kar Wai’s 2046 (2004) an erotic/romantic film which is also about a train that runs through the world. So anyhow, I ended up liking Snowpiercer a lot because it’s a subversive film, and you guys know how much I love Subversive Cinema! The thing with Snowpiercer is that the train and its inhabitants are a representation of society and so, the people that live on the back of the train represent the poor, the working class, while the ones in the front of the train are the privileged high class, the elite, those in power. The train has its fair share of dictators, rebels and leaders going up against the evil oppressive government. I love the idea that these people have to live in the inside of this train because the outside world has frozen. The idea of having the rebels going up against the evil government to uncover “the truth” about things is nothing new, in fact, we’re currently seeing an avalanche of these types of movies in theaters, the concept of a bullet train piercing through the ice cold world is a novel one and offers some interesting visuals. I ended up loving the art design of this unique film.  

Quote: “A shoe doesn’t belong on your head; a shoe belongs in your foot. A hat belongs in your head. I am a hat. You are a foot. Yes? So it is.”

300: Rise of an Empire

Comments: Here’s a film I was ready to hate with every inch of my body. Why? Because it reeked of unnecessary sequel, it looked like something they made simply to profit from the success of the original. To my complete an utter surprise, this movie rocked the house! I was floored by the amazing visuals! The first 300 film was centered on visuals, it was a stylistic piece, same goes for this sequel, there’s a distinctive focus on the visuals. Same as in a Frank Miller comic, we’re here to look at some cool art. And 300 comes to life in this way. There’s tons of slow motion and incredible camera angles. This film is a CGI orgasm, thankfully, they use CGI they way I like CGI to be used: artfully. Other great factors: it was neither a sequel, nor a prequel, it’s a film that happens at the same time as the first film, but in a different location, I thought that was a pretty novel idea. We get Xerxe’s origin story and get Eva Green playing a hellish villain, something she apparently excels at! 

Quote: “You fight much harder than you fuck!”

The Interview

Comments: The most hyped movie of 2014 had only one thing to prove to me: was it all worth it? I mean, it’s not every day that a movie causes terrorist threats! Here’s a movie that’s supposedly so offensive to the North Korean government that they supposedly threatened to commit terrorist attacks upon any theater that dared to show it! Be that story true or not, what mattered to me was if it was funny or not, was it any good? Hell yes it was, I laughed every second of it. On top of things, the film delivers a message about the mediocrity of mass media, and the importance of using the media for something worthwhile, like say, the truth. It has that Seth Rogen and crew style of humor, so if you enjoyed say Pineapple Express (2008) or This is theEnd (2013) as much as I did, then you’re in for a treat.  

Quote: “You know what’s more destructive than nuclear bombs? Words.”

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For

Comments: Here’s a movie that left cinemas extremely fast for whatever the reason. Maybe the filmmakers waited too long to make it? I mean, here’s a sequel that came out almost 10 years after its predecessor! It was a huge bomb in theaters, but to that I say, “whatever!” This movie gave us everything we loved from the first film, It gave us Marv again, the whole thing is still told in loud, exaggerated comic book style, we still get the voiceovers, the black and white look, the little splashes of color here and there. And it even functions as something of a sequel, concluding one of the stories from the first film. Bottom line is, while this new Sin City film is not better than the first one, because let’s face it, the first film is a hard film to top, it does still give us everything we loved from the first time around. The same style, the same characters, the same tough as nails cops and evil as hell villains; in this sequel, Sin City is still Sin City, and I loved that about it. 

Quote: “An Atom Bomb goes off between my legs..”

Captain America 2: The Winter Soldier

Comments: Sometimes it feels like Marvel just keeps getting better and better at making comic book movies. I mean, they should, each movie keeps getting bigger and bigger, with more buildings collapsing, more worlds in peril…things are getting epic with each passing film trying to top the levels of destruction achieved by the previous ones, and with budgets escalating with each passing film, who knows what we’ll end up seeing next. So yeah, this sequel to Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) is bigger and badder in every way possible. It has a distinctively subversive vibe to it, with Captain America realizing that maybe working for the government isn’t the best idea. On this one he decides to go solo, which is cool because it frees the character and the films from political propaganda, which was so present in the first film. The action is amazing, but also, this film includes one of the coolest characters to ever grace a comic book film: The Winter Soldier! Though Joe Johnston did a fine job with the first film, this one excels in many ways, it’s more bombastic, the story is more epic and the American patriotism/propaganda machine is turned off, which honestly is one of the things I didn’t like about the first one.    

Quote: “The truth isn’t all things to all people, all the time”

Exodus: Gods and Kings

Comments:  This one was special for me because it’s a film from one of the greatest directors of all time: Ridley Scott. Every film he makes is a gift, so of course I went to see this one. All I have to say is that if I was a Christian, I’d be super stoked about this movie. But I’m not, and I still loved the hell out of this one, so take that for what it’s worth. The story of Moses, the ten commandments and the parting of the Red Sea is about as epic as the bible gets, so of course I was excited to see how one of the greatest directors to walk the face of the earth was going to bring these stories to life. And I wasn’t disappointed, the movie was epic, yet it was different to Cecil B. Demille’s The Ten Commandments (1956), for example, Moses isn’t portrayed as a religious zealot, he’s more a rational man. Maybe he talks to god for real, or maybe it’s because he accidentally hit his head? Maybe all the miracles are explained away by reason, or maybe God’S making them happen? The movie is ambiguous like that and many Christians resent this version of The Ten Commandments because of that, but if you ask me, Exodus: Gods and Kings is no less spectacular a film because of this.

Quote: “Follow me and you will be free, stay and you will perish.”

Interstellar

Comments: By now we are accustomed to a level of excellence from Christopher Nolan, slowly but surely he’s shaping up to be quite the director, one of the greats. Interstellar is certainly a good one, though truthfully, I don’t think Nolan has made a bad film yet. What’s awesome about Interstellar is that it evokes so many movies that came before it, and not just movies but also books, to be more precise Arthur C. Clarke books like 2001: A Space Odyssey, Rendezvous with Rama and Hammer of God. It’s also very heavily influenced by Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968). Any Kubrick fan should instantly spot all the homage’s Nolan makes to what is obviously one of his favorite directors. But aside from its influences, the film offers us the experience of what it might feel like to see a black hole up close and personal, in the most scientifically accurate way possible, which is an awesome experience, nothing remotely cheesy or silly like what you might find in Disney’s The Black Hole (1979), yet every bit as trippy. The cool thing about movies about Black Holes is that whenever we go into the Black Hole it’s going to be something trippy every time, no matter what the film, once in the black hole anything’s possible. Interstellar is no exception, it might get a bit incomprehensible at times, but there’s no denying the visual spectacle is there, and at heart, it’s also a family film, with heavy emphasis on love.      

Quote: “Rage, rage against the dying of the light”

Guardians of the Galaxy

Comments: This was the surprise hit of the year, nobody (not even Disney) expected this to be as big a hit as it turned out to be and it can all be attributed to James Gunn, the director behind this superhero/sci-fi/comedy/ mash up. The thing about James Gunn is that same as Josh Weddon, the director behind The Avengers (2012) franchise, Gunn is a true geek. He’s always loved sci-fi and horror, if not check out his totally underrated Slither (2006),a  film about alien slugs that grow inside of you and turn you into a zombie. He’s also mixed the comic book genre with comedy before in Super (2010). So in many ways, Gunn was the perfect guy to direct Guardians of the Galaxy. Why did it work so well? To start things off, these characters had not been seen before, I mean, sure there have been Guardians of the Galaxy comics, but never on film. And even the comics were never that popular. So the characters have a much needed freshness to them. Also, apparently people don’t want the popular, squeaky clean heroes we all know; they want the misfits, the imperfect heroes, the heroes with a freaking sense of humor. Also, the comedy is welcome, Guardians of the Galaxy feels like a good bye to the dark and brooding superhero films like The Dark Knight (2008), and a hello, to a more light hearted, fun, comic book film, which to be honest, I was missing.     

Quote: “What should we do next? Something good? Something bad? Little bit of both?”

Grand Budapest Hotel

Comments: Wes Anderson’s films are a universe onto themselves, so every time you see an Anderson film, you know you’re seeing an Anderson film. They have that look, that framing, that music, that dialog, those colors, those actors, simply put, Anderson has his very own unique style. This time around we go even deeper into Anderson’s own world through The Grand Budapest Hotel, a gigantic hotel that exists in the fictional ‘Republic of Zubrowka’. The story focuses on a concierge and the things he does to make everybody happy, especially the ladies, even the older ones. On top of things, the film has a pacifist message; the story unfolds during the overtaking of a Nazi like government, which affects the lives of all the characters in the film. Grand Budapest Hotel is a delight to look at, the aesthetic of it is simply beautiful. Behind it all is a story of true love and true friendship, looking forward to seeing it again.   

Quote: “A lobby boy is above all discreet to a fault. Our guests know that their deepest secrets, some of which are frankly rather unseemly, will go with us to our graves. So keep your mouth shut zero.”

Under the Skin

Comments: This one was a complete surprise to me. I’d heard it was sort of a sci-fi, but I wasn’t ready for such a different kind of sci-fi, not in your face, but instead very subtle.  The film is all about a female alien who seduces men in order to feed on them. She’s sort of like a vampire, which is why it made me think that Under the Skin is actually an artsy fartsy version of Tobe Hooper’s Lifeforce (1985), it even copies the idea of having the female vampire/alien naked throughout a huge chunk of the film. If you remember correctly, in Lifeforce a human ends up obsessed with the female alien, attracted by her magnetic, hypnotic beauty. Basically the same thing happens in Under the Skin. What I did get from Under the Skin that I didn’t get from Lifeforce was an exploration of human sensuality, how we are blinded by the prospect of having sex, so much so that we’ll sink into the blackest tar pits to get it. We are blinded by it. Because the main character is sort of like a voyeur, observing humanity with an objective point of view, many aspects of human behavior are explored, including violence, rape and compassion. Topple all of that with amazing visuals and atmosphere and a twist ending and you got yourselves one of the best sci-fi films of the year. The film does have a slow pace, which is not for everyone because truth be told, half of you will love this film while the other half will hate it. Me? I loved every second of it, it just got better and better the further I went. On top of things, it’s filled with these amazing trippy visuals and shot in a realistic documentary style. It’s just a very artful film, which is why it gets on my best of 2014 list. It’s just a beautiful film to look at and absorb.   

Quote: “People wind me up, they are ignorant”

Nightcrawler

Comments: Nightcrawler is a movie of its time; it marks the general mentality that people are living under right now. Sort of like how TheGraduate (1967) marked the 60’s, Wall Street (1987) the 80’s and Fight Club (1999) the 90’s. Its main character, Louis Bloom, is a desperate man, on the brink of poverty, willing to do anything he can do to survive. Hunger drives him, the desire for success is his fuel and he will stop at nothing to live a better life, to mingle with the big guys, to prove his worth. It’s a sad reflection of society, because while it is true that Louis Bloom is an exaggeration, a sort of cartoon of the crazy dog eat dog world we live in, we cannot deny that this character is a truthful mirror to the kind of human beings society is breeding. And this is the reason why I loved the film, but also because it comments on media manipulation. In some ways it’s similar to Sidney Lumet’s Network (1976) when it shows how the media makes us see things in a certain way, under a certain light. The film offers us a  powerful performance from Gyllenhal, he was already nominated for a Golden Globe, but lost to Eddie Redmayne for Theory of Everything. Sadly, Gyllenhall was ignored by the Academy Awards, could it be because the film attacks the media? Well, at least it got a nod for best screenplay. 

Quote: “Who am I? I’m a hard worker. I set high goals and I’ve been told that I’m persistent”

Birdman

Comments: This is one of those movies that is a film about films, it speaks about the frustrations of an aging actor looking for a way to get back into the spotlight, to get the respect and admiration he once had from the public. He does this by directing and starring in a play that he hopes will become a hit. The film analyzes what cinema is today, and goes all around what it means when they say that Hollywood takes you in, chews you and then spits you out. What do audiences like to watch nowadays? Do they like philosophical cinema? Or do they enjoy empty effects spectacles?  It was interesting seeing a film that addresses society’s current obsession with superhero movies. It’s also about a man battling old age, he’s trying to prove he’s not passé, he wants to prove he still has some worth in this world! One of the more interesting aspects of the film, apart from the awesome themes it touches upon is how it was made. This film was shot with long takes, and it aims to give us the illusion that it was shot in one continuous long shot, the result is nothing short of amazing, with the camera in constant movement always following somebody around. Same as Linklater’s Boyhood (yet another Oscar contender this year) Birdman will more than likely be recognized for its technical achievements, for its direction and for Michael Keaton’s awesome performance.  

Quote: “And let’s face it Dad, it’s not for the sake of art; it’s because you want to feel relevant again”

Boyhood

Comments: Boyhood is quite possibly the most amazing coming of age story ever made. Why? Because through this film we can actually watch the protagonists grow before our very eyes and not by using different actors to play the same character in different stages of their lives, but by taking 12 years to make the film! So we see Mason, the films main character go from being a child, to being a college student, all during the course of one film. The film is a life  journey of a family. You see, Boyhood is essentially a family drama about a single mother looking for the best that she can for her and her children and how the whole family adapts to the different changes in life, the cool part is seeing the actors change through the years, they change hairstyles, music they listen to, stature. I love this kind of film because it’s  a cautionary tale, a coming of age story, it’s the kind of film I would show my preteen son or daughter so they understand the different phases that one goes through in life, the kind of things that should be taken in consideration before making life changing decisions. In accordance with Richard Linklater’s style of filmmaking, Boyhood is essentially one long philosophical conversation, exploring life, feelings and situations. It’s an amazing accomplishment for Linklater, a stroke of genius that could quite possibly win him the “Best Director” award at the Oscars this year.

Quote: “Any dipshit can take pictures Mason. Art? That’s special. What can you bring to it that nobody else can?”

Whiplash

Comments: This movie is amazing in many ways, but one of them is that you don't know how anything is going to turn out, you wont know where this film is going, and that my friends is a good thing in my book. Another thing it has going for it is that it's a film about a music student and his crazy ass gung ho teacher and his extreme teaching methods. You see 19 year old Andrew wants to be one of the greatest drummers whoever lived, and his willing to take the physical and psychological punishment he has to in order to be among the best. Does his teacher go over the line with his teaching methods? Should Andrew blow the whistle on this hot head, loud mouthed teacher? Or will all this preassure bring out the best in Andrew? You won't know if you should hate Mr. Fletcher, or admire him. Though it's J.K. Simmons that has gotten all the Oscar buzz, I also have to mention that Miles Teller's performance as Andrew is equally amazing. Simmons has been nominated for Actor of the Year at this years Oscars, and I think he actually has a shot at winning. He does have tough competition (Michael Keaton is ready for that Oscar) but without a doubt, Simmons is one heavy contender! Highly recommend this inspiring film, just forget everything you have seen in films like Mr. Hollands Opus (1995) and Dangerous Minds (1995)!

Quote: "There are no two words in the English language more harmful than 'Good Job'"

Worst of 2014

Haven’t seen Annie, Left Behind, God is Dead, Heaven is for Real, but if I had, trust me, they’d all be on this list! Here’s a list of some of the worst films of the year for me. All of these where simply put, a torture to look at.  

Transformers: Age of Extinction

Comments: Speaking of torture, here’s a film that I gave the benefit of the doubt. I didn’t think it would be as bad as people were saying it was, cause, shoot me, I kind of enjoyed the third one. So anyhow,  things started out well, but the further into the movie I went, the worst it got. By the time the film goes to China in it’s third hour of running time, I was like “Why?” I just didn’t care for anything that was happening. Though the film does have its show stopping moments, like the scene where an alien spaceship pulls every metal object up in the air with its magnetism, most of the film felt like it didn’t really matter. I tried to like it, but it was too silly, too long and too unimportant, I blame the soulless computer generated characters. The transformers just aren’t well written characters, we never get to ‘know’ them, and therefore we never care. We’ve all seen movies that have brought computer generated characters to life through excellent characterization, excellent motion capture performances and voice acting, but these cardboard cut outs just aren’t it. Here’s a film I actually saw people walking out from!   

Quote: “I am Optimus Prime and this message is to my creators: leave planet earth alone! ‘Cause I’m coming for you!”

Expendables 3

Comments: Wasn’t expecting to put Expendables 3 on my ‘worst of the year’ because I enjoyed the first two, but damn, here we are. Why was Expendables 3 such a disaster? Well, they did many things wrong to screw this one up, let’s see. First up, the reason why we are here is to see our favorite 80’s and 90’s action stars kick ass and say a few one liners while doing it, like in the good old days. Instead, we see the old guns for a while, but then they are replaced for most of the films running time with a new crew of kids whom we care nothing for, cause we came to see the old guys, not these new guys whom we don’t know. So that’s the first mistake, then they go and make it a PG-13 bloodless film, which is an even bigger mistake because what we came to see was a homage to old school bloody action films like the kind they made in the 80’s, not the bloodless cgi crap we see nowadays. And speaking of CGI, god they over did it here and this is certainly not what we came to see. We want to see real cars and helicopters blowing up, not Playstation grade animated versions of them. Plus, the screenplay was just freaking atrocious! It was sad to see so many big guns like Harrison Ford, Mel Gibson, Jet Li and Arnold Schwarzenegger sink so low, these guys deserved way better than this. Bruce Willis did right in backing out of this one, smart move Willis! Even though it was greed that made you step down from appearing on this one, you avoided a huge turd! Yipee- Kiyay in deed!  

Quote: “Nothing lasts forever. We’re part of the past. If we keep this up, the only way this ends up for any of us is a whole in the ground and no one will give a shit.”

Robocop

Comments: I’m a robo nut, I’ve loved Robocop ever sense he stomped his way into theaters way back in 1987, when action films still had some balls. What made the old Robocop so cool was Paul Verhoeven’s love of blood and violence and its tendency to go complete over the top, which is why this new politically correct Robocop doesn’t work. It plays it safe, it’s too squeaky clean. This movie needed to be rated ‘R’, it needed the profanity, the nudity, the violence, the gore, the violence and the blood and guts that makes the original film so memorable. If you want to read an in depth article that lists the reasons why this new Robocop just didn't work, go here. But basically, this new Robocop had none of what we liked about the old Robocop, it didn’t have the over the top villains, the craziness, the goddamn over the topness! Joel Kinnaman as Robocop, terrible choice, that black suit, awful. Robocop, without the mas just looks goofy, they should’ve just called it Goofy Cop. It frustrates me. But, the fans retaliated with a dismal box office return. Why? Because this wasn’t the Robocop we love, it wasn’t the Robocop we wanted. We want that 80’ Robocop magic back! Somebody call Verhoeven!   

Quote: “This my friends, is the future of American Justice!”

Transcendence

Comments: If there’s something I hate, it’s a wasted opportunity. When films that have the potential for something awesome, turn out to be crap, it infuriates me. Case in point: Transcendence, a film I had high hopes for, yet ended up being really disappointed by. Why? Well, because it was a bore fest. I mean, here’s a movie dealing with artificial intelligence and cyber punk elements. This is the story of an extremely intelligent scientist who ends up transferring his consciousness to a computer, yet somehow the film managed to bore me to tears! Too bad, because while I dig films that explore philosophical issues and this one does that, it did so in the least entertaining way, which is a big no, no for me when it comes to movies. I guess I’ll have to wait another decade for a decent cyberpunk film. 

Quote: “Once online, a sentient machine will quickly overcome the limits of biology. And in a short time, its analytic power will become greater than the collective intelligence of every person born in the history of the world ”

I, Frankenstein

Comments: Wow, where to begin, this film is an abomination for many reasons. Number one is that I really hate Hollywood’s new trend of making classical monsters less monstrous? They did it in Dracula Untold (2014), the Twilight Saga and Warm Bodies (2013) and they will apparently keep doing this. I guess somebody decided having monstrous monsters was a bad thing for our collective psyche, so now monsters are to be softened up or something? Fuck that bullshit, I want my monsters ugly, deformed and freaking monstrous. The more evil looking the better! I don’t want them to look like Aaron Eckhart or Luke Evans. Man, Frankenstein is supposed to be made of dead body parts for Christ’s sake! For all intents and purposes, Frankenstein is a zombie! Yet he looks like Aaron Eckhart scratched his face in a cat fight! On top of that, the computer generated effects on this thing were atrocious! I mean, the whole thing looked like a videogame, which made me role my eyes in disappointment. So, ugh. Don’t even bother with this one, I disconnected from it faster than you can say “It’s alive!”

Quote: “I’m a dozen different parts of eight different corpses. I’m a monster.” (Yeah Right)

The Legend of Hercules

Comments: So yeah, this is another one that I decided I’d give the benefit of the doubt to because it’s Hercules and I love films about Greek mythology, I love fantasy. Unfortunately, I couldn't connect with this one either. First red flag that popped up was the fact that this one was made in a hurry, to compete with Brett Ratner’s Hercules (2014), which by the way I dug a lot. So anyhow, this version is another CGI fest, and the thing about CGI is that if it’s not done convincingly, well, then it just looks bad. And that’s what this film suffered the most for. As you can see, a lot of the films that made it onto my worst of the years suffer from the same ailment: they are filled with terrible cgi and bad scripts, a deadly combination.  Another stumbling block with this movie is that it stole a lot of scenes from Ratner’s film and from the God of War series of video games. Why didn’t they just make a God of War film instead?  It’s so sad to see Renny Harlin, who directed a series of cool action flicks like Cliffhanger (1993), Die Hard 2 (1990) and The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996), sink so low. Lately he just directs crap, pure unadulterated crap, so sad.

    

Well, that's it boys and girls, see you again next year!