~Starting the process~

As some of you know Eric and I have started the adoption process again!!! YAY!!! We are both really excited about this next step in our lives (Ok, I might be just a little more excited than Eric but that is usually how it goes with a regular pregnancy too). We are kind of in a crazy time in our lives right now with everything (work, economy, personal trials, etc). But we both know that it is time to add to our family and that adoption is the step that we need to take.

For quite a while now I have felt that we needed to adopt again. I kept pushing the feeling out because of a lot of reasons really.

One, I was scared. Scared of the unknown, scared of depression problems, scared of talking to Eric about my feelings, scared for the birth mother, scared for the baby, what about our other three, how will they do with adoption? Many, many reasons.

Two, Money. How in the world are we going to pay for adoption? How can we make it work?

Three, How long will it take. Am I willing to "wait" for "My Baby"?

So many things kept coming into my mind. I fought with myself for about a year and a half. Finally I talked to Eric about it and he was a little unsure. I am sure for the same reasons that I was feeling. I asked if we could pray about it for a while and find out if adoption was REALLY what the Lord wanted us to do. We did pray for about a month. Nothing really changed. I still felt like we needed to adopt but I was still not comfortable with the thoughts in my mind.

Finally I decided that one Sunday I would fast about it. I prayed that I would feel the spirit and know what the Lord wanted us to do. I didn't tell Eric about it because I needed the conformation for myself.

As soon as I walked through the doors of the church the spirit was so strong. It was all that I could do to hold back my tears. Being the stubborn, hard headed, person that I am I still needed to KNOW what the spirit was telling me. Well, I got it. The entire message for Sacrament meeting was on listening to the spirit and following the promptings you are given. WOW!!! I could not believe it. I was completely involved in the talks that were given and the spirit that I felt. I don't think I even noticed if my kids were goofing off or anything. It was like I was the only one in the room with the speakers. They were talking directly to me. The Lord was talking directly to me. It was such an amazing and humbling experience. Finally when it was time for the closing song I realized that the entire room was full of people. I quickly wrote a note to Eric explaining what just happened. He kind of gave me a sideways look and then went back to singing the song. I couldn't believe it. How could he not feel what I was feeling? Did he not hear what was just said? Either way, I now KNEW that we needed to adopt. I needed to heed the promptings of the spirit and put my trust in the Lord.

It was so scary! To just put all of my trust in my Heavenly Father and do what I was being asked to do. It's not like it is something simple. Like, read your scriptures every day, or say your personal prayers day and night. Oh no, this was HUGE. This was going to affect no only my family but all of those around us. This was going to affect a child, and a birth mother. This was going to be a lot of work and I honestly didn't know how we were going to do it. But one thing that I did know is that we WERE going to do it and that we needed to do it NOW.

After I got home I looked up the quotes that I had remembered them saying it the talks and wrote them down.


Elder Richard G. Scott said this,

"Father in Heaven knew that you would face challenges and be required to make some decisions that would be beyond your own ability to decide correctly. In His plan of happiness, He included a provision for you to receive help with such challenges and decisions during your mortal life. That assistance will come to you through the Holy Ghost as spiritual guidance. It is a power, beyond your own capability, that a loving Heavenly Father wants you to use consistently for your peace and happiness."

Another quote from Quentin L. Cook,

"We live in a noisy, contentious world, where it is possible to be viewing or listening to information, music, or even pure nonsense virtually every waking hour. If we want to have the inspiration of the Holy Ghost, we must find time to slow down, ponder, pray, and live so we are worthy to receive and act upon His promptings."

And then finally these scripture in Doctrine & Covenants 18: 43 & 45

And now, after that you have received this, you must keep my commandments in all things;
Wherefore, the blessings which I give unto you are above all things.


I talked to Eric about it some more and we decided that it was time. I printed out the paperwork that night and got started in the process.

We are still very scared and don't really know how we are going to be able to pay for it but we know that our Father in Heaven does know and that he will help us along the way.
We are so very, very excited about this and can't wait to see our new little baby.

On the left side of the screen I have added an Adoption timeline. That way everyone can know what is going on and what step in the process we are at.

Thank you all for your support and prayers in our behalf and please keep your ears open and let us know if you hear of any one placing their baby for adoption!