JUST SO YOU WON'T FORGET (To a friend)

NO ONE ELSE IS YOUER THAN YOU

Maria (that’s not her real name, of course) only 5’ tall, weighs about 119 lbs, short black hair, black eyes, worry-wart, perfectionist, stubborn, outspoken, multi-talented, conservative, analytical, and reflective. Her life story is quite dotted with disappointments and unhappiness but she’s got spunk which I admire. She lives an hour away from me in another part of the city but we call each other up if meeting up isn’t possible.Ralph is married, in his early fifties, doesn’t have a regular job, gets by with special projects much to the consternation of his wife, has excellent pr with friends and colleagues but isn’t quite successful in the home and with family.

They are just two of countless other people in my social circle -- Same as with yours and too with theirs. Now why should I even mention these? I’m trying to drive home a point – an essential one.

We see zillions of people around us with distinct features and characteristics. Well, in our close circle we can only count about tens or hundreds, if you're lucky. But in the world outside there are zillions of them. Zillions! We’ve been told that no two persons are alike although they seem to be similar but still not the same. So then you, I, and they are distinctly different and separate in our own selves and persona.

I like that thought. It makes me feel very special. Don’t you too?

When you see me do the things I do, talk the way I do, think the way I do, walk the way I do ---- that’s me --- intrinsically genuinely me…Unless I put up a façade, but what for? Why pretend what I am not when being real is a lot more fun and interesting, at least to my point of view. It has nothing to do with being smug or proud or snooty liking oneself --- Although some people may take it to extremes and that’s where the problem begins. The idea of appreciating who I am and what I am makes life simpler and less stressful in a huge measure for myself and for others who move in and out of my turf or vice versa. No masks, no pretenses, no facades.

When I see myself as who I am --- the whole package of traits and flaws – and understand what makes me tick and still be comfortable with that I think am right on track with good sense. So then I can too appreciate others who may display other traits possibly quite unfamiliar to me and yet which I know do genuinely reflect their own distinct personality --who they are. I begin to learn to allow leeway for unpleasantness or idiosyncrasies of character because that too understandably is also in my own physical make-up. Understanding then takes place and then sets the correct mode in my relationships or in dealing with others.

I’m not going to dwell on the idea of changing where change should be, with reference to unpleasantness of character. Let’s leave that for another blog post.

The whole point of this exercise is to highlight how special you are as a person, an individual, a human being, creature, and character. Let nobody tell you otherwise. They have no permission to say that you are not. Neither do they have license to heap words of abuse on your character and person. Defend yourself and stand up for who you are. You are special, particularly in God’s eyes.

Oh yes, you are special, you are one and there is nobody else alive like you. They may copy you or seem to be like you but still they are not you. Get my point? Who else would heap canapés on his sandwich or walk in the park bare foot or look through a magazine back to front? Who else would dive straight into the pool in pajamas or eat dessert before and not after a meal or wear leather jackets in summer? Others may share your taste or preferences but you alone possess your own particular trademark as Mary, John, Peter, Lee, Pedro, Raj, Diwa. There is so much more of who you are that makes you quite unique and special. That was God's agenda when he created you. So like who you are and as you go along with that thought.. also do take time to see where you can improve on 'you' for an even better self.

Dr. Seuss says…..
“THERE IS NO ONE ALIVE WHO IS YOUER THAN YOU"

(Wrote this some time ago. Taking this here now for a friend. Hope this works its purpose.)

FIND WHAT YOU TRULY LOVE TO DO

Do you know what it is that you love to do? This ‘something’ which gets you either stuck or glued to it day in and day out or won’t leave your mind long enough for you to be stuck in another thing or gets your heart thumping hard with excitement each time you think about it. I am sure that you do. Even if you were working at a job which gives you so much satisfaction and pleasure there is still that something which if given the chance you would rather be doing. Not because it is more lucrative but simply because it is what you love.

Sometimes you hear of men and women leaving wealth, business, jobs, perks and privileges behind and instead follow what they think and believe is their true calling.. And for the many diverse excuses and reasons forwarded, it still boils down to only one – a love for doing what they do.

"The secret of happiness is simple: find out what you truly love to do and then direct all of your energy towards doing it. Once you do this, abundance flows into your life and all your desires are filled with ease and grace." -Robin Sharma (The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari)

I like that quote lifted from The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari by Robin Sharma. The summary in essence and condensed form was forwarded to me by a good online friend, Tejbir. The pursuit of happiness is generally on everybody’s table of aspirations; every effort one creates of thought word and deed is geared towards that goal. But not every road leads to happiness and more often not to the kind of happiness that would matter.

So what kind of happiness does matter? That’s simple. It’s the happiness which emanates from the very core of our being – at the core where only the genuine intrinsic true authentic feelings and intent reside. Where everything is true and genuine, every good thing that will come out of it will be the finest in satisfaction passion effort motivation and result.

To get to that point, one has to find what he truly loves to do in his life -with his life. It’s a search which for some may take a whole lifetime --- A serious search which will lead him to question his purpose or meaning or reasons he grew up with. But for the person who finds it early while he can, he will have acquired for himself all the precious time he would need to pursue it. This in turn will ultimately lead him to achieve something grander or higher for himself and not only will it derive for him greater pleasure happiness or meaning but may possibly redound to benefit a greater number of people too – indeed a wonderful prize for truly loving what you do.