the moderator

last saturday, faizal requested for one sister to become a panelist for a forum for POLISAS students which was to be held on the very next day. sufian and him would be the other 2 panelists.

we tried asking everyone who was willing to do the job but everyone was busy or had other business. asma' and i wanted to study (sbb asyek berfoya-foya selama ni) so we asked aishah and sibah. tangkap muat je sape yg boleh buat. so that saturday afternoon we had to decide on who had to go. last2, we decided that everyone had to go coz tak aci la kalau ade orang study and ade yg tak kan. hehe, dengki betul :P

the task was to share with Pembimbing Rakan Sebaya from POLISAS on what it means to be a pemimpin and a pembimbing. waktu tu jugaklah brainstorm on how we were to go about the task. we didn't really know much about the prog, let alone the task at hand. last2 terus reka modul sendiri.

faizal pulak tetiba asked whether i could be the moderator for the program. personally i tak reti sgt jadi moderator ni. each time i have to be it, macam tak best je. but then i thot kalu jadi moderator tak yah lah jadi panelist so tak payah nak cakap byk sgt. with this point in mind, i accepted the job.

we only smoothened out the details on the way to the program, so we had about 45 minutes to fine tune and synchronise our plans. alhamdulillah, everything SEEMED smooth. they didn't exactly go as i had planned but it turned out okay. i didn't trip over or embarrass myself or anything like that so, boleh lah kot. at least, the polisas students seemed to enjoy the session.

on the way back, we invited ourselves to kak ju's house. baby huda sakinah is soo cute.

hmm, mentang2 la i have a rather thick skin, my friends always give me the task of asking people for invitations to their houses. but i only do it with verry close people. bukan sape2 je tau.

the talkshow: (from left) faizal, sufian, me, aishah

sume yg paksa rela pergi :)

at pantai cherating

with salihah khidir

with our beloved kak safiah whose 4 months pregnant

p.s sibah, if ur reading, kem salam kat faruq :P

new nephewwww

yay, alhamdulillah kak ngah safely gave birth to a beautiful baby boy last sunday afternoon. kakyung dah pegi tengok. i dunno when i can go see him. she says he's comel gila, putih and has kakngah's lips. mebe after exams kot baru boleh. jealousnya x2 dgn kakyung.

family reunion at kak yung's house

what could be more exciting after a memorable mukhayyam than a family reunion?

it's been ages since the whole family got together. there was always someone who couldn't make it. i'm very thankful that i was around this time kalau tak i can just imagine nibah calling me from ayah's phone trying to make me jealous.

aisyah kept pretending the airconditioning remote control was a handphone and babbled and laughed sorang2. klaka sgt tengok.

nawaz was sick. he didn't have much of an appetite and kept crying. he wanted to be carried all the time. he kept having on and off low grade fever. i hope he's all better by now.

hammad's got his first zit. dah besar panjang dah dia.

it was wonderful to be able to spend time with all of my sisters. we must do this more often.

can't wait for kak ngah's baby to come out.

ayah with his adorable granddaughter and grandson.

both of them absolutely clinged to ayah.

three generations of the bani azraai girls

the bani azraai guys

back in kuantan

with Dr Nazrul

with Dr Lim

i am sooooo glad to be back in kuantan. temerloh was fine and all but i missed kuantan so much.

the house in temerloh had weekly blackouts and water problems plus it was extremely hot. my epidermis is the most relieved. there were so many bugs and insects over there.

but the hospital was cool though. the paediatricians, Dr Nazrul and Dr Lim were fine teachers.

well, my honeymoon period is over. main-main je kat temerloh. asyik bergambar je.

back to serious study now. my endblock exams are in a months time.

A trip to the waterfall

Last Saturday, my friends and I went to Lata Meraung at Jerantut, Pahang.

It was the last weekend for us in Temerloh so everyone wanted to go to some place exciting where we could let loose and relax (hehe, like we haven’t been doing much of that already). My friends wanted to go to a waterfall and tried to find out the details. Several places close to our place like Teladas and Gunung Senyum were not recommended so we had to look for places a bit farther away. Someone suggested Lata Meraung since the pervious batches had gone there but it was about 1 and a half hour away. Was it worth it to go that far? Even the name was spooky.

I wasn’t too keen on going at first. K.ngah didn’t feel like going so she stayed behind. Asma’ and I decided to go at the very last minute. Faizah and Reyhana were hyped up about going there. The plan was to go to Jerantut through Jengka where Wanis’ aunt stayed and drop Wanis there since she didn’t want to come along. Then we’d head for the waterfall and meet up with five other friends who’d go there through another route. Then on the way back we’d pick up Wanis. That seemed like a good enough plan.

On Saturday morning, Asma’, Rey and I made egg sandwiches and cucur ikan bilis to bring along on our trip. Then, when everyone was ready, by 8.15 am we were on our way. The route was similar to the one heading for Kota Gelanggi. Since we were familiar with the roads (we doesn’t include me coz my geography is bad), the journey seemed a much shorter one than last time.

We arrived at Wanis’ aunt’s house around 9am, dropped her off and continued with our journey. In Jerantut, we were on the lookout for the signboard and barely noticed the junction. It was then another 10 km away. There were many Orang Asli (OA) houses by the side of the road. We didn’t know what kind of place to expect. I imagined a well-kept place with a parking area, and good facilities. Well, you don’t always get what you want. We had to park by the side of the road and go up a flight of stairs. I was rather worried coz it was so obvious we were the only ones there. Anything could happen to the four of us and no one would know. But there was no turning back. We had to continue with the plan. We had come so far.

The stairs reminded me of UIA Gombak’s very own ‘Batu Caves Stairs’ at Mahallat nusaybah . It wasn’t that bad but we didn’t have much stamina so we had to make stops along the way. We had to walk deeper in the woods to get to the waterfall. You could tell that the place used to be a tourist spot but it was abandoned. The waterfall was beautiful. It was just a small and cozy area. If so many people went there it would be overcrowded. The water was cold and clear. When we got in the water, 2 guys and 2 girls came but they didn’t bathe. We practically conquered the water. A few more guys came. We began to worry. But they just stayed at the side of the lake and took pictures. I tanak perasan but I know they must have taken our pictures too. We stayed inside the lake. We were very careful not to go into any deep parts coz none of us knew how to swim.

About an hour later, our friends arrived. Punya lah lega masa tu, terus mandi sepuas-puasnya. More and more people cameWhen everyone was satisfied bathing, we filled our stomachs with Aima’s yummy mee hoon goreng tom yam, the appetizing cucur ikan bilis and delicious tea. Then we took loads of pictures.

There was no place there to change our clothes so we headed for masjid jerantut. All clean and dry, we headed for Wanis’ aunt’s house. She served us bread eaten with ‘kuzi’, a kelantanese dish. It was new to us from johor and melaka. then she showed us the plants around her house. my knowledge on plants are so limited keh keh.



On the way back, I received a message from my 3rd fan. Hihi. Klaka la this thing. Terus tak boleh tidur lepas tu eventhough I was very, very tired. Mengganggu fikiran je bende nih.

We arrived at the house safely. Alhamdulillah everything went according to our plan yesterday.

overwhelming popularity

I never would have thought that I’d ever be in the position I am in now. Not in a hundred years. Not ever. I’m not referring to the SRC post although it has everything to do with my current situation. It’s practically the main reason behind this situation I’m facing.

What situation you ask?

It’s my sudden popularity with those having XY genes since the SRC poster came out. It’s never been like this before. I’ve never been through anything even close. Before, I was just known among the girls. They either really like me or hate me. Extreme betul dunia nih. Well, sekarang ni takdela popular mane but it’s a new experience for me. It’s rather overwhelming really.3 guys have already asked to get to know me within a span of 6 weeks. Wow, that’s an average of 1 guy every fortnight. (haha… just exaggerating). It’s just so weird. 3 totally different types of guys; a law student, someone who had a course in UIA Gombak and just happened to see the poster, and a teacher who teaches at a school near to UIA.

I don’t understand what could have motivated them to even try? They only had a face to start with. A plain-looking, average, dark-skinned specky. You cannot tell much from a face. I guess u don’t lose much by messaging a total stranger and starting out from scratch. So if that person rejects you, then you don’t lose face. You hardly know that person. No harm done. The you-don’t- know-me-but-I-got-ur-number-from-a-poster thingy is kinda getting old. Penat pulak nak layan. I’m not entertaining any more unfamiliar numbers after this. Selama ni takut it was people I know but have changed numbers or friends’ numbers that I don’t have. I should know better in future.

I guess all the other SRC members face this problem also but why do I have to face it too? Maybe I don’t have a one-look-at-her-must-get-her-number face but more of a one-look-at-her-must-get to-know-her especially since her number is already posted for the world to see. Niebah reminded me that she told me before that I should have given another number. Yeah, like I have one. That would be too tedious to manage. Furthermore, I’ve never had this problem before. As flattering as it may seem, it does disturb my peace of mind. Other people may encounter this on a daily basis, but not me. Niebah and kak chik are used to people approaching them everyday. This thing’s new to me.

All of this is so bizarre. Since primary school, guys have been afraid of me (I prefer to think of it as respect but I know that’s plain delusional). I’m not really the type that guys fall head over heels for. I’ve worked with a lot of guys but they’re just my colleagues. Not more that that. I consider it a good thing. It would have interfered in my work and then where would I be?

Why now?

I don’t know. I guess Allah knows that this is my most relaxed posting and I have abundant time on my hands to be thinking. If all this happened during O&G, I dunno how I would’ve reacted to all this.

I think all of this is also ayah’s doing. He’s been praying too vigorously for me and my sisters to get suitors and now look what’s happening. Ayah’s exact words: “Ayah penat2 doakan untuk korang, korang tau reject je”. Hehe, apela ayah ni. Camtu pulak ayah fikir.
What would be really cool is if someone read something I wrote, actually liked it, became interested in me, doesn’t mind how I look, took a great big leap and asked to get to know me through the proper channel? That my friend would be really daring. If fairy tales could come true, this would prolly happen. But then again, you never know. It just might have happened.
I hope i don’t get anymore fans. Mengacau hidup aje. I can’t wait for my SRC tenure to end. I can’t stand it anymore.

Ya Allah, macam2 ujian-Mu ke atas ku. Tabahkan lah aku ya Allah and guide me through this period.

p.s. Ayah doesn’t like my campurization. In the past, a friend of mine ‘tegur’ and I argued with him about it. I was adamant with my stance. Since ayah’s the one who mentioned it this time, I’ll try to speak and write proper in future. He says it’ll spoil both my English and Bahasa and then I won’t be proficient in either one.

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Reminder to self and friends:

You are on the road to success…
When you realize that failure is only a detour.

Failure is something I cannot afford. It’s too expensive to breach the scholarship contract with JPA and 7 years is long enough as it is. Any extension would be too much for me to bear.
I really salute my friends who have gone through failure and bounce back up stronger and more determined than ever. Tabahnya! For some people, failure is a life-changing event. It’s the turning point of their lives. Allah knows best what everyone has to go through in order for them to become the best person they can be.

It’s not how low you fall but how high you bounce back after that fall.

I’m not sure I’m strong enough to face that situation so it is a big driving force for me during exam times. But if at any point in my life, I do fail, then ya Allah, please help me through it.

THE UNINVITED GUESTS

Going back home was refreshing and replenishing indeed, alhamdulillah.

As I wanted to prolong my stay at home, I wanted to go back directly to Temerloh instead of going back to Kuantan then to Temerloh with the UIA bus, in which I would have to take the Sunday morning bus just to reach Kuantan in time to ride that bus. So ayah bought an 11pm ticket direct to Temerloh from the Larkin bus terminal. Usually ayah wouldn’t allow me to take the night bus if I was alone but he didn’t ask much this time around. The extra time at home enabled me to use the internet and I went to the maulidurrasul celebration at the surau. There, I met up with kak Ainal and we had a lovely chat.

When we went to the bus station later, mak and ayah began to worry as they only saw guys going on the bus and there was only one Chinese lady. I wasn’t too worried yet. I slept most of the journey. Then we reached Triang, the lady went down and I was left alone with a bunch of guys on the bus. I couldn’t sleep after that and started to be very anxious. I recited every prayer that I knew. Hehe, baru nak rase takut. I guess because Temerloh is a small town, not many people go there, especially at night, so only guys take the night bus. 45 minutes later, I reached my stop at 4.00 am and had to wait about 10 minutes for Faizah to pick me up. Seram jugak mase tu sebab tak ramai orang. I vow to never put myself in such a dangerous situation ever again. Sian mak and ayah had to worry about me unnecessarily.

Well, when we reached the house, an unpleasant smell greeted me. While we were gone for 3 days, somehow or rather, the kitchen rubbish bin was topped over. My friends had several theories which included cockroaches and rats. They were too tired to clean it when they arrived the night before. Since I was not sleepy yet, I cleaned it as I couldn’t stand the stench.

When I got to my room, I opened the cupboard door which I share with Faizah. I noticed something white and fluffy with polka dots. I was trying very hard to remember who could have put such a toy or keychain there. Lama I tenung bendaklah tu. I opened the door wider to have a closer look. That’s when I realized the mother cat lying very comfortably in my part of the cupboard. Imagine my surprise. Tergamam kejap di pagi2 buta itu. Nasib takde baju kat situ, just barang2 lain. It hissed at me. I called Faizah to come look. The mother cat started hissing when we got close. I picked up my laptop and removed my white coat from there. We didn’t know what else to do so we just left it and did other things. We spent the morning speculating how the cat got in the house in the first place. After that, it wasn’t hard to figure out who the culprit behind the toppled rubbish bin was.

Just before we went to the hospital, my friend put the kittens in a box and brought them outside hoping that the mother cat would follow but it only hissed at us. It didn’t even give a second glance at the tuna I offered. Sombong jugak kucing nih. We put the kittens outside and kept the windows open with the hopes that the mother cat would eventually go out.

Alhamdulillah, when we got back this evening, the cat was in the box with her kittens outside. I’m glad she didn’t give birth in my almari or the smell would have been unbearable. I’m also glad that they didn’t leave many marks in my cupboard.

....................................................................................................................................................

last monday, a 7 year-old anencephaly (no skull) girl in the ward passed away. Innalillahiwainnalillahiraji’un. The fact that she survived so long is a miracle. Anencephaly is usually a condition incompatible with life. We were all very amazed masya Allah. The paediatrician figured that at birth until now she must have had viable brain cells allowing her to breathe and eat which is quite unusual. However the brain cells controlling movement and speech were atrophied and she couldn’t do either. Ya Allah, you love her more and know that that is best for her and her family. Please give strength to the mother to accept and face this taqdir.

sad...

i feel so sad rite now. i think i left my favourite Quran with English translation and tafseer on the express bus last nite. sedihnya. i guess i had my head up in the clouds yesterday and was so excited to go home that i didn't notice it. i was reading it on the bus at maghrib time then i just held it. i fell asleep after that. i kinda forgot about it when i woke up until this afternoon when i wanted to read it again. sedih sangat2.

Ya Allah, please let me get back the Quran. i pray that a miracle happens.

the key incident

this is what happens when yours truly cleverly locks the door whilst the keys were inside the house (the door handle was the kind that you can lock from inside).
it happened last monday. we just arrived at our house in temerloh and decided to go eat out and celebrate both of our housemates birthdays. i was the last to go out of the house. i didn't hear kak ngah say last one out grab the keys. i ASSUMED someone outside had the keys as usual so i quickly locked the door. and that was when we all realized we were locked outside. to make matters worse, the spare key was also in the house. we tried all the doors and windows of the house but they were securely closed and locked. well, that would have been a good thing if we were all inside now wouldn't it.

well, we didn't know what else to do but call the brothers. only fahmi and achap were around. so fahmi climbed up the pipe and tried the upstairs windows and doors. there were two doors with grills upstairs. we borrowed keys from the other 2 houses and tried them. ironically, one key could open the grill only and another could open only the door to the other room. well, that didn't help much. as a last resort, we had to let him do it. we had to ask him to break down the door. so he did it. we thot nothing happened coz u couldn't see it from down below. then he got inside and opened the door. when we went upstairs to inspect the damages, well, basically u can see urself from the picture. hehe, malunye buat kecoh di petang2 hari.

when we told dr wahab, he said it was okay and we just had to report it. no need to replace it ourselves or anything. alhamdulillah. now we are very2x careful with the keys :)

after that embarrassing incident, we proceeded with our plans. we went to Pizza Hut to celebrate Asma' and Wanis' birthdays which were on the 8th and 6th respectively. we had a wonderful meal alhamdulillah.

at Pizza Hut

the birthday gurls

we also had water problems that night. the taps were dry and we had to rely on the house tank so we had to save the water for the next day. macam2 lah kat temerloh ni.

at night, whilst asma' and faizah went to the hospital to clerk patients, i stayed back becoz i was tired. but i couldn't sleep terus. i received a lot of calls that night. my head started to spin after that.

p.s happy birthday to all those who were born in April that i know of or knows me :)
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with kak siti (i call her kak mama coz she has a little girl) who is 35 weeks pregnant.

she reminds me of kak ngah. kak siti's room is next to mine. she's in her final year and graduating this august. mesti tak jumpa dah lepas ni. i wish her all the best with her delivery and future.

spinning head

we just came to temerloh last monday and already have to go back to kuantan tomorrow evening.

a lot of things happened.

i have a lot on my mind.

must go back to jb this weekend!

AT TEMERLOH

weekend nih byk betul i updated. biasalah my updates are seasonal. bila ada banyak keje tp malas nak buat nanti byk posts. time exam pun byk gak but my frens dah tau my habit when tetibe i lesap so derang tak bagi sgt da i kuar rehat mase tgh studygroup hehe. bile cuti, tak update sebab malas. too much time on my hands.

if u'r overwhelmed, then tak payah bace :)

posing in front of faizah's car with my housemates at temerloh.

that's the hospital we're doing our posting for 6 weeks.
the hopsital is cantik, air-conditioned and the doctors are very nice

with ex-prem baby Puteri Nur Najwa
she has bronchopneumonia and has underlying chronic lung disease
she has a twin brother
lama dia duduk hospital

p.s sian tengok bebudak sakit.

Chronic somnolence

When it comes to sleeping in class or during lectures or during whatever kind of talks, there are there types of people;

• The1st type are those who are always alert and never sleep during any talk. They don’t even doze off in cars or moving vehicles

• The 2^nd type are those who sleep only when extremely tired or the lecture is too dull or when they had been burning the midnight oil

• The 3^rd type includes those who sleep when they are not physically active. Whenever they have to sit still during a lecture or talk, they start to get drowsy and sleepy, they are in a semi-conscious, trance-like state. Whenever they get into any vehicle as passengers, they straight away go to sleep.

Me? I belong to the last group. It’s not that I don’t sleep at night. I just need a lot of sleep to function.

This fact does bother me much coz I always doze off in class. Cemana nak blaja?

Some say try eating sweets. Nope, doesn’t work. I’d just predispose meself to get diabetes.

Try moving legs up and down, sometimes work, sometimes doesn’t.

What does work is the lecturer scolding me. Skali kene, my sleepy state macam kene whack and I’m all ears and conscious thereafter.

The thing is, slalu je orang lain tido jugak but I’m the one who always gets noticed. Darn! My classmate anep always teases me about it. Malu jeh.

Hmm, must find a way to solve my chronic sleeping disorder. I have green eyes toward the 1^st type of peeps.

AN APPALLING EXPERIENCE

I warn everyone that this one is gonna be an extremely long one with some medical info and gruesome pics. I should be writing another article but I came up with this one instead. Don’t bother to read if u don’t have time.
____________________________________________________________________

One funny thing happened to me last 2 weeks. I dunno if it’s quite appropriate to tell it here but here goes anyway. My intention is not to embarrass anyone but to tell my side of the story… how I perceived it.

This story can be traced way back to the day of my O&G exam (lama dah). Munibah messaged to say that the SRC poster had been posted up in IIUM Gombak complete with everyone’s hand phone numbers. Nibah tak puas hati coz they misspelled ayah’s name. That is sooo unacceptable but what to do. I wasn’t really worried about giving out my number to the IIUM public coz’ I’ve never had any problems with stalkers before. It’s not like I have a face that says one-look-at-her-must-get-her-number. Life went on as usual.

During the 10-day break, I got a message from this anonymous law student from gombak who asked about medico legal stuff. I replied that I didn’t learn that stuff so I couldn’t help him or her (my instincts were that it was a ‘him’). I thot it would stop there. Then on the way back to Kuantan, this person messaged again asking about the effects of steroids. I replied by listing a few of the negative side effects. After a day, this person replied that as a law student, my answer was unsatisfactory. Ces! Malas la nak reply to that. Suit urself la.

Two days after that, this person messaged again. He said that he was an athlete and that his friends were considering taking steroids and asked my opinion. I was like, who the hell are you, asking me all this and then not being satisfied with my answer. Where the heck did u get my number from? (All of this was in BM la so nice sket) This guy replied that he was studying at that time and will reply later. Ces!

That night he messaged to say that he was P (name not mentioned to protect the person’s i.d), a 3^rd year law student from johor too. I still don’t how he knew I’m from johor. He got my number from the SRC poster (now u know the significance of mentioning the poster in the beginning.) I replied that even if I answered his question, he’d just be dissatisfied with it then that wud just be pointless. I offered to refer him to a senior who could give him a better explanation. He said that he believed in my professionalism (yeah rite mister… rolling eyes here peeps). Back to the steroid question, (since I’m a nice person ;P) I said that I could read up more on it coz I didn’t know too much myself to give a proper explanation.

So, to help this fella out, I went to the Temerloh Hospital library to read up on steroids. To search on the internet was not an option since there was only one computer with access over there which is extremely slooooooow. I had only brought paediatrics books so those couldn’t be much of assistance. The books at the library were all sooooo ancient but I had to make do. So I used my lunchtime break to read up o the matter. The guys usually go to the library to read the paper. Seeing me there absorbed in a prehistoric pharmacology book, they teased me about how rajin I was. Huh, that was soo not me. I’m really not that diligent, seriously.

When I was done, my conclusion was that steroids were bad IF taken for the wrong reasons. Even those who have to take it for medical reasons such as for autoimmune diseases etc have to suffer from so many side effects. I don’t think they’d take it if they didn’t really2 have to. The thing is, to use it once or twice won’t produce any terrible side effects but it won’t help much too. To see results, it has to be used for a long time and that’s when the adverse effects manifest and the person can be said to have Cushings’s syndrome.

I bet everyone already knows all this even this guy but he just wanted confirmation or was testing me je. Takpelah, I have to prepare a seminar on Cushings’s syndrome pun nanti. Doesn’t hurt to read up early pun. I even read a book on sports medicine. Me? Yang tak sporty langsung. I can’t even believe it myself. Well, in the book it said that no physician would want to take the risk of advising steroids in athletes. That point just confirmed my notions.

Okay, just to mention some of the awful side effects (to scare anyone who had ever even contemplated it) they include;

• Hypertension (63%)
• Acne (46%)
• Buffalo hump fat distribution behind the neck (28%)
• Delayed bone aged (13%) (jadi short kalau amek mase tgh membesar)
• Truncal/central obesity
• Moon, rounded facies
• Facial flushing
• Loss of bone minerals & osteoporosis
• Muscle wasting
• Irritable & quite miserable (saje je nak sebabakn diri sendri jadi depressed)
• Skin: thin & easy bruised
• Dusky complexion with purple markings
• IMPOTENCE (who’d want that?)
• Hirsutism in females (means jadi hairy!) (46%)

• Moon, rounded facies

• Plethora
• Striae (36%) (macam yg pregnant ladies kenkadang ade kat abdomen)

Consequently, I messaged this guy and said that steroids was a mighty risk and if he still wished to take it, then don’t bother to contact me anymore, not that I wanted him to. Again, I thot that wud be the end of it and was wrong. He replied saying that he would never take it, sumpah. Orait, whatever, what u do with u life doesn’t bother me in the least.

That’s when it started to turn different. He said that he wanted to be friends. I said ok, another law acquaintance wouldn’t hurt. Then he asked whether I ‘dah berpunya’. The mere question makes me shiver. I replied that I’m not into meaningless flings (something like that in BM). His reply was extremely blunt. To quote his exact words would make me noxious so let me spare myself and everyone else. Some of the points were that he was being friends with me on pure instinct and if he felt ‘serasi’ he wanted to marry me. (editor’s note: Euwh yuckies darab infiniti)

Wow! Imagine waking up to such a message. I was in shock the whole morning. I replied that this was the exams talking. (Gombak was having their exams at that time). Believe me; if there’s one thing, I know, it’s the side effects of exams on a person. I used to have to endure monthly exams during the pre-clinical years and alhamdulillah now they are reduced to once in 3 months. Sume orang bile nak exams are so stressed out and rase macam nak kawen je (rase je eh tapi tak pun sebenanye!).

His reply was similarly nauseating. It was something like ‘well u asked for it so I had to tell ya’(in Malay) and included “insyaAllah u will be my friend forever because once I give my friendships’s rope to u, it will remain uncharged with u even if the sun rises in the west”. Omigod, omigod, omigod. Although I don’t understand quite what this statement literally means (betul ke tak ayat nih grammatically entah), but I understand the basic message. (editor’s note: what the heck? Uncharged friendship rope? What?? Am I missing something?)

I was freaking out. I dunno this guy at all. Was he a psycho? (editor’s note: yerp). Entah sape2 je nih. I tried to find out about him from my sister. Whilst waiting for her reply, I had to consult my friends. They told me to ignore him. My fren tetibe bace the message loudly and my female classmates sume dengar. My face went red… sejak bile I ada scandal nih. Malunya!

After some time my sis contacted me and said she knew the guy but didn’t approve of him. I suppose if his English was fluent I’d given it some more consideration but that was not the case. Orait, next problem, how was I gonna let him down nicely. After racking my brains out, I had to use the ‘ayah’ excuse (bunyi macam slalu guna je, hehe, but this was the 1^st time). I said that ayah didn’t allow us to be friends. If he only knew how supportive ayah is. Alhamdulillah he accepted my reason and does not bother me anymore. I don’t think it was meant to be.

This story is going down as one of my life experiences, hehe. All of this happenend in a span of 4 weeks just because of an SRC poster. Hmm, macam2 lah dunia nih. All this while, I was dreaming of a brave guy to say something like that to me and when one hits me in the face, I wasn’t ready for it. Moral of the story: be careful what you wish for. Crumbled are all of my romantic notions.

That’s all folks.

p.s I let my roomie read this and she added some of her thots.

AYAT AYAT CINTA

I was intrigued to read this novel after ‘Umayr’s and Luqman’s recommendation once upon a time. I thot if guys were reading it and recommending it to others, it must be one good story. I’m not into novels meself but this one seemed like a must read. I didn’t really put any effort into finding the book or anything, but when I went to Asma’s house recently and saw a lot of novels, I asked whether she had this particular book. Apparently, her sister had a copy. Yay, at least I could assess for meself what the hype was all about.

I just finished the book in the wee hours of last Thursday morning. Hmm, menarik jugak. The plot was rather slow in the beginning but if u bear with it, the 2^nd half puts your emotions on a roller coaster ride.

My conclusions:

· Many girls are attracted to guys yg bebaik but guys yg baik nowadays kurang. Last2 sume attracted to the same guy. darn!

· If perempuan baik suka laki baik, they have to send a message to the guy becoz most probably the baik guy is shy and will not ever make the first move sebab rasa humble. Ces.

· Menarik jugak Aisha’s premarital syarat :P

DEEP IN DEBT

No, I’m not writing about myself but a friend of mine.

About 5 months ago, an old schoolmate who has never really messaged me before all of a sudden gave me a message asking of a favour. She wanted to borrow quite a sum of money. She said that her parents had just married off her older brother and spent a lot of money. She had no money to pay her house rent as she had not received her loan yet. I sympathized her situation and agreed to help. After all she is my friend. I figured that she was in need of the money more than me. I took the liberty of going to 2 different banks and withdrawing then transferring the money into her account. I was glad when she confirmed that she received the money. I didn’t tell my parents about it. Only kakyung.

She didn’t contact me after that. I didn’t try to contact her until 2 months later and her handphone number was unlisted. That worried me a bit. Ok, her HP might have been stolen. I thot I’d go back home and find her house number. By the 3^rd month, I still could not contact her and I confessed what I had done to mak and ayah on the way to the bus terminal in larkin. I was on my way back to kuantan at that time. Habis I kene marah there and then. But I stand firm to my action. I admit that I was naïve in giving her the whole lot of the sum she requested. I should have only given half. But still, for her to ask money form me, someone so far away, should be verry embarrassing thus I knew she was desperate. How could I turn my back on her in her moment of desperation? I would be ashamed of myself if I did that.

I tried again and again to contact her. I wasn’t really worried about the money as much as the disappearing act of hers. I could not accept the fact that she was avoiding me and did not contact me at all. If she would just say something, I’d be relieved but nada. Not a word or a ring from her.

I heard that this friend was close to another girl I knew so I called her up. She said that this ‘friend’ of mine borrowed money from many other people who are also searching for her. Sian dia. I dunno how she’s gonna pay back all the money to everyone. another old classmate contacted me to ask whether i had this girl's number. i had to break the bad news to him. we were both duped.

i guess i am naive. i couldn't bring myself to just leave her like that without helping her. sometimes i do wonder whether i was just plain stupid or too nice. i'm hoping that i'm the latter but prolly people wud think i'm more of the former. whatever it is, Allah knows best regarding my intentions.

I pray that Allah helps her repay all her debt.

Ya Allah, cukupkanlah keperluanku dan jauhkan aku dari berhutang dgn orang lain yang aku tidak mampu membayarnya balik.

CAVE EXPLORING

March 31, 2007.

(1.04 am)

It’s Friday again. Friday means that tomorrow we don’t have classes. It means a weekend of rest. The brothers wanted to go to Genting this weekend but all the sisters didn’t want to for financial reasons and also because most of us were not interested in going there anyway. Nape tah budak2 laki tu nak sangat pegi Genting. Anyways, we told them them to go without us. In the end, they cancelled the trip hehe (or mebe postponed it) and at the last minute decided to go to a Gua Kota Gelanggi which they said was half an hour a way (but actually took 1 hour). Tak best kot kalau tak pegi tanpa us sisters hehe.

This afternoon, Azim, takut2 nak ask permission to borrow my camera. I said ok since I wasn’t using it. They didn’t tell me yet their plans. My friends and I hadn’t anything planned much for the afternoon and evening besides clerking patient so we went for lunch. That’s when the brothers messaged to ask whether we sisters would like to go to Kota Gelanggi with them. Fahmi (our Menteri Kebudayaan dan Pelancongan) said it was a historical site and we could explore the caves and then bathe at the waterfall. What we were interested was the waterfall. So we asked the others first.

There are 18 of us sisters and we divided ourselves between the three houses rented by UIA for us. Some of the girls had gone to KL and the rest didn’t want to go. So only my housemates and I (all 6 of us) were excited to go. Even Wanis who was fasting came along with us. We convoyed with 2 cars. Brothers yang pegi; fahmi, azim, acap, ihfaz and syahril. We started the journey by 2.45 pm.

We reached there by 4pm. The place seemed empty. No one was around except us. It was creepy. I was thinking: mane tah brothers nih bawak kitorang ni? We didn’t really know what the place actually was. Alang2 dah 1-hour journey, might as well explore the place. Then 2 guides came along in their jeep and one guy said he could take us into the cave. There were several caves there so he suggested we go to Gua Sanding and we agreed. Us girls, we were not prepared much to be cave exploring mentally as well as inappropriate clothing. Ada yang pakai selipar je or kasut formal. Moreover, Wanis who has never went camping, jungle trekking or cave and was the only one fasting, felt she couldn’t continue but the guide pujuk jugak saying that susah nak patah balik so we had to proceed.

We had to wriggle our way through a very narrow opening. Just after the guide reminded us to be careful lest we bumped our heads against the stones above our heads, I bumped my head. And I bumped it 2 more times. Orang lain tade pun yg terhantuk kepala dia kat batu. I was the only clumsy one. Malu betol! Alhamdulillah tak teruk sangat kalu tak dah coma by now hihi.

Once we got thru the very narrow, dark, rocky, and dangerous entrance, the rest of the cave was wide and spacious. The guide showed us the many rocks which were shaped like an elephant, a frog, a lion, a waterfall, a jungle, batman’s trademark etc. there weree also 2 rocks which produced unique sounds when hit upon. My camera just had to habes battery in the middle of our journey. Geramm betoi! Alhamdulillah dapat a few pics.

at the entrance

in the cave
standing from left: ihfaz, fahmi, asma', faizah, k.ngah, reyhanah, wanis
in front from left: azim, syahril, acap, me

dalam hutan on the way to the cave

sebenanye we were on a ledge yg agak mengerikan but this photo doesn't quite show how scary it was.

When we came out of the cave, it was raining and the path was damp. I hate the jungle when it’s damp because of the leeches. However many camping trips I’ve been to; it still hasn’t cured my fear of those thin and slimy creatures. Sampai je kat luar hutan all of us girls checked our trousers, shoes and feet for those blood-suckers. I had several on my shoes. I had to ask acap to get them off. Urgh. Can’t stand them. Can’t touch them. We were worried that they climbed up our skins into forbidden places . everyone was uncomfortable and wanted to change clothes. Lagipun ada yg tak solat asar lagi. So we went to a nearby mosque. On the way, there was one leech inside the car, and everyone panicked. it was chaos in the car. Alhamdulillah, we were able to throw it out of the window.

If there’s one thing that I cherish from this journey is the concern showed by the 5 brothers toward us sisters. They didn’t have to invite us to tag along in the first place but they did. I’m thinking they’d be bored without us and we made the whole experience a lot more exciting hehe. They were very nice and genuinely concerned about us throughout the journey. On the way back, they said they’d go back first because we wanted to go to the mosque and clean up. Everyone felt that they had creepy crawlies on their bodies and clothes. The guys lead us to the mosque and went off, or so we thought.

We took quite some time to change clothes and pray. Then we were on our way. That was when we noticed that Syahrils’s red proton car was right in front of us. Ya Allah, they waited for us! Mesti derang tak sampai hati nak leave us actually and they were worried that we might not reach back safely so they waited. Lame gak they had to wait. Pegi pasar malam konon. Whatever their reason, I know they waited for us. If we knew, we might have hurried up a bit. Even when we were held back by a verrrrrrrry slow lorry, we didn’t find them too far ahead. How sweet! Terharu gile!

From my experience, guys always go into ‘protective’ mode when they have activities involving girls especially if the activities involve traveling or outdoor activities like jungle trekking etc. Usually they can’t be bothered about what happens to us, but I guess when girls are vulnerable and susceptible to danger more than them; they become ‘protective’ all of a sudden not that I’m complaining or anything. Er, I rather like it hihi.

I don’t want it that way all the time as I need my independence too but once in a while, it’s lovely to rely and depend on others to take care of u ;P

_______________________________________________________

p.s. i think i've had enuf of jalan2 nih. kalau takde pengiring , bi'ah tak solehah sgt. penat je being protected all this while.

back to temerloh

just thot i'd stop at the cc for a while before i go back to temerloh in about 10 mins time, and won't be getting internet access for about 2 weeks. i won't be going back toi kuantan next weekend since all the travelling is tiring so we're gonna go back fortnightly.

mak yang, aisyah and the banana

I passed

Alhamdulillah
Alhamdulillah
Alhamdulillah
Alhamdulillah
Alhamdulillah
Alhamdulillah
Alhamdulillah
Alhamdulillah
Alhamdulillah
Alhamdulillah

i passed my O& G exam.
i can enter 4th year.
i have a chance of doing my elective posting somewhere interesting.

i have much to be thankful for.
some of my friends didn't make it and have to repeat the year.
may Allah give them the courage to face this trial.

some thots... whilst all my friends and most people my age have already thot of marriage, kids and jobs, my only concern revolves around:

• how do i pass my exams?
• will i pass my exams?
• when's my next exams?
  
• what if i failed my exams?

tak pe lah. all in good time, my dear, all in good time.

Only One Word

this is just to be a good sport and entertain those who tagged me. here goes,

Yourself: Average

Your Lover: Courageous

Your Hair: Unmanagable

Your Mother: Wonderful

Your Father: Charismatic

Your Favorite Item: Laptop

Your Dream Last Night: Unrecallable

Your Favorite Drink: Juice

Your Dream Home: Jannah

The Room You Are In: Cybercafe

Your Pets: None

What You Are Now: Student

Who You Want to be in Ten Years: Improved-self

What You Want to be in Ten Years: Specialist

What You're Not: Ladylike

One of Your Wishlist Items: Sudoku-book

Your Gender: Female.

The Last Thing You Did: Sleep

What You Are Wearing: Jubah

Your Favorite Weather: Sunny

Your Favorite Book: Thrillers

The Last Thing You Ate: Toast

Your Life: Exams

Your Mood: Happy

Favorite article of clothing: Jubah-seluar

Favorite color: Blue

School: SMIH.

Song: Inspirational

hmm, sesape yg tak buat lagi this thing, and rase cam nak buat, buat lah :P

A day at Lanchang

My paediatric posting which started last monday is to be done in Temerloh hospital 4 days a week and then back to Kuantan, a 1 & a half hour drive away for a lecture or seminar with our IIUM lecturers. then back to temerloh again.

Why do we have to go all the way to Temerloh? becoz the ward in HTAA Kuantan is small and packed. so they only allow 5ths years to go to the ward and follow the ward rounds. especially since they have only a month left until the final professional exam. hmm, actually, this decision kinda works for us coz then we get to travel a lot and go to a more beautiful hopsital and stay at a house with a TV, a fridge and a washing machine. and we get to play with kids and babies.

last monday, whne we all gathered waiting for the briefing and introduction to the posting, one brother got up and asked excitedly: " so where do you all want to go jalan2?". wow, tak sangka, i guess the brothers have been thinking of nothing else during the hols. one option was deerland. a place in lanchang, about 30 mins drive away. the two previous bacthes went there and everyone was so hyped to go. the question was when to go? one person suggested that we go the very 1st oppurtunity that we had. apparently, that afternoon, was free since the meeting with the hospital director was postpned.

right after the meeting, we went back to our houses, changed clothes, and headed off for Deerland. when we finally got there, after a few wrong turns, it was really worth it. we got to feed the very tame deers. and then, play with a small honeybear called hitam. there was a bigger bear named Muda. we took turns having our honey-lathered hands licked by Muda. Geli sgt. we also fed the ostriches there and held the snakes. ada 2 snakes only. a big python and a small python. ada jugak brotheres yg takut snakes. i thot girls je.

then, we went to an elephant reserve where we rode on the elepahants. i went on the baby elephant yg laju rather than the adult elephant yg slow and steady. then, i went and petted the baby elephants which were bathing. after that we wanted to go to the waterfall but couldnt get in. darn! must find another waterfall to go to. despite that, we came home satisfied! hari pertama skolah dah pegi jalan2 :P

the place is very interesting. i highly recommend it if you'd like to bring ur families for an outing.

with the 3 clever ostriches. they only ate the leaves and not the branches that we fed them

these baby ellies were very playful.

this elephant is very much alive. dia baring just for the pic

macam berani je tp sebenanye penakut gile. just posing for the camera je ni

that my friends was reeeeally verrrry scary. nasib the bear was distracted with the honey.

my adventuresin KL

last Thursday, 1 day post exams, i went to uia gombak. alhamdulillah i managed to meet up with my schoolmates and gombakian friends yg dah lame tak jumpe. terserempak with aalaa' and husna and atikah yg agak advanced 'pregnancy'nya.

whilst waiting for nibah to finish her class, i stayed at the library. nasib the librarian bagi i masuk since my matric card was not accepted. it was nice to go to the library just to read a storybook and salin sudoku without feeling guilty.

then, when i was with nibah, i just had to run into zuhairi, the SRC president who invited me to a program they had that night. most of nibah's friends thought i was her younger sister and started commenting on our similarities. heheh, yelah tu. we look world's apart. klaka gak. bengang je nibah.

at first i wanted to go to the src meet but then i got together with uswah, aishah mn and aina and our discussion went way beyond the time limit i had set. but, catching up with friends was higher on my list of priorities then any Src meet :P pastu, jumpe MJ and another maryam, sambung discussion. then i followed her to QYC's AGM. tak dgr pape pun. dok asyek berbual je. pastu sambung berbual ngan aishah, niebah and atiqah shahruddin at the cafe on the SHITS as nibah calls them whc is short for "not the she's or he's or its but in btween" aka the softies. we had a blast 'mengumpat'ing the growing population of SHITs in Gombak. any conversation involving the nibah and atiqah duo would be a hilarious one.

some of my friends yg mmg dah lama i haven't seen or seen me, said i was thinner. i'm rather unsure whether to accept it as a compliment or not since it implies that i used to be fatter and considering that the weight scale suggests otherwise, i guess the weight scale must be faulty :)

the next day i met up with lead for brunch and then ummu for er, another lunch and in the evening ustazah hamidah picked me up to go to her house. best jugak ustaz was not around. nusaybah and sumayyah kept giving me "gifts" of rubbishes. hmm. that night i went to the CFS in Pj with ustazah for some dinner. i felt out of place however the food was lovely :) the next day, was sumayyah's sports day and i tagged along. i even entered the family event since ustaz was not around and we won, yay. that evening, whilst ustazah went out, i did some painting with the kids. i cannot boast of any artistic talent but i can write and paint better than the 5-year=old and 7-year-old, so we managed to come up with a few artworks. that night, we ate out and ustza sent me to kakyung's house where ayah and nibah was already there.

the following morning, ayah had to go early to UTM KL and nibah and i had to follow him. we stayed at the VIP lounge while he had his meeting. there was a computer in the lounge but it could only connect to friendster so we slept away half of the morning. then, we had lunch and sent nibah to uia. afterwards, ayah and i went to pickup kak ngah, abang ngah and aisyah at ustazah arfah's house and then we were on our way home, back to skudai.

that's all for my adventures in KL. my days in johor were more relaxed yet enjoyable getting to know aisyah.

my cutsie pie...
little aisyah alhumaira'.
[she's much2 more cuter in person]

• word most often said: "Nak ni.."& "Nak air.."
• most liked activity with mak yang: washing her hands [she'l get excited whenever i mention it]
• what makes me most gerrram with her: her entangled curls and her mischievous-yet-angelic smile
  

muh beautiful big sistas,
kak yung and kak ngah.

yay, a week of holiday to look forward to!

i have many reasons to smile and a few to keep me depressed.

reasons to smile:

1. 1. the thought of this little drooling cutie trotting about
2. 2. k.ngah and aishah are coming back to malaysia today!
3. 3. i'm going to jalan2 in kl then going back to jb
4. 4. next posting is paeds. yay, kids galore and jalan2! bring it on!
5. 5. i can do as much sudoku without feeling guilty. (nibah la ni got me started on sudoku. i blame her totally!)

reasons to buy a whole bucket of ice cream and wallow in self-pity:

1. i got Dr Alik and Dr Roszaman for my long case and short case respectively. hmm, Dr Alik's well-renowned for failing students and Dr Rsozaman is a silent killer too. long case, pregnancy induced hypertension. Dr Alik didn't directly say he's fail me but then again no one knows what goes on in his secular head. i got a twin pregnancy case with Dr Roszaman. i could feel the head poles but could not differentiate the buttock. dah la i was the last person to be called. lama betul tunggu. now, i have to forego all thoughts of doing elective. waaaaaa.

hmm, 5 reasons to smile. better smile than and enjoy the hols while they last. orait nibahm yung and k,ngah, can't wait to see u guys. kak chik, jangan jeles!

p.s i'm wondering if there's a bib with 'i love mak yang' on it :)

it's that time again

it's the time for exams again. yep next week. ONG finals is terribly scary coz this posting is notorious for the high failure rates. i love ONG but the enviroment here in UIA and Kuantan's Hospital ain't that encouraging.

Amani went back to Austria last monday. it has been very interesting getting to know her.

last weekend there was a compulsory programme for the leaders in the campus from all societies. i wouldn't have gone if not for the white water rafting they offered in their agenda. hmm, twas very cool.

my posting mates

with faizah

Amani in JB

last weekend, i brought amani back to jb with me. JB was HOT i tell ya. dah lah our house takde aircond. rase nak mandi all the time je. alhamdulillah mak and ayah were around so we could bring her jalan2 gi hutan bandar yg dah uzur, danga bay waktu siang yg takde pape and jalan2 around utm.

i tried wearing my tudung like amani's (miss anonymous must be gasping if she reads this). but i'll stick to the way i wear it now.

i learnt a lot about our different cultures and traidtions. hmm, sangat menarik. i also took the oppurtunity at home to watch ummahfilms on youtube and the tazkirah videoclips were soo funny. people shud watch it. about 1 million peeps have oredi viewed it.

gravida 0 para 10

alhamdulillah. i have a completed family now. gravida 0 (coz neva pregnant) but para 10 (got 10 babies). 5 girls and 5 boys. if only they were mine. one lady even wanted to name her child after me. bangga gile ni.

Twin tower pose with Amani (on my left) and her sister Dalul (on my right).

[btw, i'm not short, they're the ones whose tall :P]
Amani's a Palestinian living and studying medicine in Austria. She's currently doing her elective posting in ONG here in kuantan.

at the Triple I Symposium on fiqh medic. i can't meet ustazah hamidah and her kids. confirm i tak dapat dengar talk coz layan those kids :P

with some of the Triple I committees after the programme.

healed by time

i guess i was too emotional in the last entry. can't remember much what happened after that. but, i'm okay with the nurse now alhamdulillah.

it's been ages since i last logged on to the net.

it's been a hellish past 2 weeks. so much happened. so much work. so tired.

triple i programme settled.

src video-conferencing, baiah session was sempoi and tah pape but SRC is endorsed, finally!

conducted 9 deliveries and repaired 2 episiotomies. (there's 2 nurses that i absoultely adore: SN zarina and SN rubiah, they were soo patient with me)

still behind in case presentations.

helping out Palestinian med student from Vienna Uni, Austria with elective posting.

mar'atussolehah talks. Prof Muhaya's talks are always inspiring and refreshing.

the sequence of events that occured most of the time were related to each other.

for example, there was one day when i woke uo late and missed the bus to the hospital (since i'm posted to labour room now, jadi don't worry peeps, i won't get in trouble iA). i got 2 messages, both requiring me to do tasks at IMC instead of JHC aka hospital. alang2 dapat chance ytk gi imc, i settled a few things that i've been waiting to settle for ages. there was soo much i had to do and think about, and when one of the matters didn't go according to plan, my tears could not be contained. i was soo stressed out and frustrated because i didn't know who to turn to for advice. a junior who saw me cry asked me about it and i let out my prob a bit. it was quite relieveing. that very night, kak chik called me asking about how the humongous responsibility that comes with leadership frightened her less she could't do a good enuf job. i guess, consoling her was therapeutic for me too.

ONG is all about waiting!

"Patience Iago, patience!" (guess who said that and from where?) haha, a much-needed diversion for me.

i used to dream of being an ONG specialist becoz of my duties to the ummah. now, an 8 to 5 job seems much more desirable.