What do you do when...

What do you do when your end posting exams are 2 weeks away and there’s still so much that you don’t know?

What do you do when your ultimate exam that is designed to assess whatever you have learnt for the last 5 years and also evaluate your safety to be given the license to practice is in 5 weeks time and you don’t know what the heck it is that you actually know?

What do you do when you feel that you have been having shortness of breath on exertion (NYHA class 2), restricted airway, fullness of the throat and occasional localized, sudden onset, stabbing left-sided chest pain lasting only several seconds and an ECG and flexible nasolaryngoscopy proved absence of any pathology you diagnose yourself as hypochondriasis with globus hystericus? Oh and on otoscopy your tympanic membrane looked perfectly healthy and the ENT guy says your fit for the exams? Oh and your friends help you by teasing you about the problem?

What do you do when your frustrated with your fiancé who is acting all gloomy, refuses to speak or sms you, you don’t have a clue what is happening yet there are some things that you need to ask him?

What do you do when your posting mate has adjustment disorder because she absolutely hates psychi and cant wait to run back to the OT and her mood is contagious that your mildly infected as well?

What do you do when one of your anak usrah is conveniently uncontactable around peri-usrah (read: before and after) time but somehow can answer your sms at some other time.

What do you do when you think you like psychi but find yourself relating too much with the symptoms that you start to become depressed?

What do you do when you only study because you love spending time with your best friends in the best study group ever?

What do you do when you try to lift your spirits but find it so hard to do?

What do you do when you feel like you wanna break down and cry like you did last time in orthopaedics but it’s all stuck inside?

What do you do when you know you haven’t completed your 6 case summaries and haven’t read through your scribbled notes which you had planned to do last week and your desk is a pile of mess, but don’t feel like doing any study-related activity at present?

I dunno what you would do.

But this is what I did.

I ironed 4 baju kurungs, 4 pants, 1 white coat and 1 tudung while watching 3 episodes of House Season 4 and wrote this entry.

My diagnosis is mixed affective disoreder precipitated by recent life stressors and perpetuated by the upcoming exams and type A personality.