Now that the Sages of Lakewood have introduced their Internet ban with a bible verse which discusses big hooters, can we expect the following creative applications of the Bible?
The Ban on Poor Bathroom Hygine (1 Kings 16:11)
"And it came to pass, when he began to reign, as soon as he sat on his throne, that he slew all the house of Baasha: he left not one that pisses against a wall, neither of his kinsfolks, nor of his friends"
The Ban on Breaking Wind During Sermons (Isaiah 16:11)
"Wherefore my bowels shall sound like an harp for Moab, and mine inward parts for Kirharesh."
The Ban on Streaking at Weddings (Micah 1:8)
""Therefore I will wail and howl, I will go stripped and naked: I will make a wailing like the dragons, and mourning as the owls"
The Ban on Eating at Bad Resturaunts (II Kings 18:27)
"But Rabshakeh said unto them, Hath my master sent me to thy master, and to thee, to speak these words? hath he not sent me to the men which sit on the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you?
The Ban on Reading Blogs (Psalm 140:4)
"Keep me, O LORD, from the hands of the wicked; preserve me from the violent man; who have purposed to overthrow my goings."
And, if you think this is unlikely, please remember how it all started:
The Ban on Using the Internet (Song of Songs 8:10)
"I am a wall, and my breasts like towers: then was I in his eyes as one that found favour."
