Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Interpolations

Leader George has issued his annual Yom Kippur message. Let's examine it for instances of disingenuousness, shall we?

In the following I imagine what our good, Christian, moral, integrity-packed president might have mumbled under his breath as he read the message:

"Yom Kippur is the Sabbath of Sabbaths, the most solemn day of the Jewish calendar. On this day, Jews around the world reflect on their lives and give thanks to God for their many blessings.

"Which is a big fat hairy waste of time. Unless they've accepted Jesus into their hearts."

The Rabbis teach that on Yom Kippur, God holds open the gates of Heaven and listens to every word of every prayer.

"The Rabbis? You mean them Pharisees who killed the Lord? The hell do I care what they have to say?"

As those final prayers are shared and the Shofar is sounded, God remembers every name -- those living and those departed.

"Yeah! If they were baptised first!"

In this moment, we draw near to God, sharing in the wonders of all creation and the miracle of all life. Yom Kippur teaches us that we merit forgiveness and mercy through repentance, prayer, and acts of charity.

"But the true religion, ie mine, teaches that's if you don't have Jesus don't bother."

May we have the strength to achieve all these things, so that we continue to build a more hopeful Nation and a more peaceful and free world.

"With lower taxes for everyone."

The point, friends, is that Bush is either lying to the American people when he announces himself a true Christian, or he is lying to us in the Yom Kippur message. Which is it?

And also, doesn't Christian Love look a little less lovely when its doctrines are placed so starkly against ours? And these are your "friends" O' Israel?