Parker turns 7

Parker had a great birthday!  The week before his big day, the Disney movie "Planes" came out.  We went to see it in the theaters over the weekend.

I took cupcakes in to his classroom for afternoon snack.  That is always the highlight of your year at this age.

Also on his birthday, we had dinner, a cake, and opened presents.  He requested spaghetti for dinner...WITHOUT green beans!  He wanted a chocolate cake with green frosting and a white star in the middle.  For presents he got a "Planes" t-shirt and a "Planes" Wii game.  He is looking forward to the new Iron Man 3 DVD coming from Grandma and Grandpa Wood when it hits the stores in a couple weeks!

The following weekend he had a little birthday party with friends from school and church.  He wanted an Army theme.  I made the invitations and the cupcakes.  We used the "Terror Club" which has a large pool, catering services, staff, and seating areas.  It was a great day!

Analea

Our helper has arrived in our house!  Her name is Analea.  She is from Tabuk Kalinga, Phillippines.  She is 29 and a single mother to a 6-year-old girl.  I'm not sure if she is even 5 feet tall.  Before becoming a helper in Singapore, Analea attended Medical College to be a Pharmacy Aide.  She is very cheerful!

On her first day with us, she cleaned four of the bathrooms!  She likes to eat rice for breakfast.  She normally gets up around 6 a.m. even though we don't come down until almost 7.  She is not used to an oven or Western foods.  Fortunately, she does cook and can follow a recipe.  I have spent a few days just showing her how we make things.  We found that we make spaghetti the "Phillippino" way and NOT the "Chinese" way.  Apparently this is a good thing.  We introduced her to macaroni and cheese.  It only took her one morning to learn who liked what in their lunchboxes (white vs. wheat bread, strawberry jam vs. grape).  It'll be fun to experience all the things that she makes (whether new to her or new to us) as time goes on.

I use my indoor mother-in-law room as a storage room and as a pantry.  We wanted to have her inside where it was a little more comfortable (than the outside helper room) so we moved all the bins out to the top floor family room (aka the kids playroom).  We had to keep the pantry shelves and items where they were, though.  We were able to move a bed, dresser, and small bookshelf in.  We did give her the outside helper bathroom so that we would not all invade each other's space with the bottom floor bathroom.

Dengue

Ah, this lovely "little" sign is hanging in our neighborhood.  It's notice is written in English, Chinese, Malay, and Hindi.  Government officials have been going from house to house (not just yard to yard).  They are looking for places that the mosquitoes breed (i.e., standing water, leaky faucet areas, etc.)  For an American, this is a little intrusive because they want to see all sink and toilet areas.  They were handing out little bottles of "Off!" spray.  Singapore is what Jeremy always refers to as a "quasi-democratic society."  While Singapore is very much a city, and heavily populated, it is still a city within a jungle.  A tropical, humid one.

Dengue fever is caused by a virus which is transmitted by an infected Aedes mosquito - Aedes aegypti and Aedes albopictus.

Mosquitoes become infected when they bite infected humans, and later transmit infection to other people they bite.

The disease usually is self-limiting but in some people can present with life-threatening complications such as Dengue Haemorrhagic Fever and Dengue Shock Syndrome.

Symptoms

The symptoms usually develop within 4-7 days after being bitten by an infected mosquito. Symptoms of classic dengue include:

• High fever (up to 40.6 C)
• Severe headache with retro-orbital (behind the eye) pain
• Severe joint and muscle pain
• Nausea and vomiting
• Body rash which appears on day 3 or 4

Dengue Hemorrhagic Fever is a severe form of dengue fever which can result in death and is characterized by:

• Severe bleeding from the nose, gums, or under the skin causing purplish bruises

Dengue Shock Syndrome is the most severe form which usually occurs in children having a re-infection and is sometimes fatal. It often presents with:

• Massive bleeding
• Shock (very low blood pressure)

Treatment

There is no specific treatment for dengue fever and most people recover within 2 weeks. To help with recovery, general measures include:

• Getting plenty of bed rest
• Drinking lots of fluids
• Taking medicine to reduce fever. Avoid aspirin but paracetamol is considered safe

For severe dengue symptoms including shock and coma, hospitalisation and aggressive emergency treatment with fluid and electrolyte replacement may be necessary to save lives.

Complications

Most people with dengue fever recover completely within 2 weeks. The more clinically severe dengue hemorrhagic fever and dengue shock syndromes can result in vascular (blood vessel) and liver damage, and can be life-threatening.

Prevention

The best way to prevent dengue fever is by taking precautions to avoid being bitten by mosquitoes which include:

• Using a mosquito repellent containing DEET, or oil of lemon eucalyptus
• Dressing in protective clothing during the day-long-sleeved shirts, long pants, socks, and shoes especially in early morning hours before day break and in late afternoon after dark.
• Keeping unscreened windows and doors closed
• Getting rid of areas where mosquitoes breed, such as standing water in flower pots, containers, and bamboo poles.

James Hansman

I love how one of my friend's refers to her blog as a "family history log."  That sums mine up to a good extent (plus a mass-communication form!).  I wanted to include this as well.  My uncle, Jim Hansman passed away somewhat suddenly.  My parents were able to make it in from Florida just hours beforehand, and stay the week to help my aunt (my mom's sister) with preparations and any other needed things before the services.  We are sorry for the loss.

Obituary

James Martin Hansman, age 71, of Shelby Twp. passed away September 9, 2013. Beloved husband of Sydne (nee Chapoton) for 43 years. Loving father of Carrie (Carl) Adams and Jonathan (Ashley) Hansman. Proud grandfather of Emily Adams, Harper Hansman and the late Avery Adams. Dear Brother-in-law of Carolyn (C. Kent) Wood. Mr. Hansman was a very artistic man who enjoyed photography, weaving, and jewelry. He was a builder with a building license and enjoyed the trade, but first and foremost enjoyed building his family. His time was most preferably spent with his kids and grandkids. James graduated from Armada High School, and attended Port Huron Community College, Wayne State University, and Michigan State University ultimately earning his Ph.D. from Michigan State University. He went on to be a successful small business owner including ventures in a yarn shop and a computer shop. He was an educator and teacher who taught in Lake Orion Community Schools for many years. He earned both of his brokerage licenses in Michigan and Florida, after which he opened his own Real Estate School. Memorial visitation Saturday, September 14th from 10 a.m. until the time of the Memorial Service at 11 a.m. at The Utica United Methodist Church, 8650 Canal Road, Sterling Heights, Michigan 48314. In lieu of flowers, the family would appreciate memorials be directed to Children's Hospital of Michigan, 3901 Beaubien Blvd., Detroit, MI. 48201 or The Ronald McDonald House, 3911 Beaubien Blvd., Detroit, MI. 48201. Please share a memory at www.sullivanfuneraldirectors.com

Parker starts Cub Scouts

We are all new to the whole Scouting scene.  Parker has started the long road within the Boy Scouts of America program with Cub Scouts.  Here in Singapore, we have a big pack.  Pack meetings are held at the Singapore American School and monthly activities are held alternately there (SAS) and Stamford International American School (SAIS).  We are in a troop comprising of several neighborhood kids, therefore those activities will rotate houses nearby.  We did start this year with Tiger and the 1:1 (parent:child) ratio instead of waiting until next year to join.

We had a really fun troop activity with an "airplane" theme:

more soccer for Parker

Parker is playing another season of soccer.  Fortunately he is playing it with a league/organization at the school, and therefore, we walk to and from practices and games.  He got the same number that he has had in the past...and fortunately, was good with that.  He enjoys playing soccer.  He does best in the defensive spot.  He LOVES playing goalie!

Mooncakes

Mooncake is a Chinese bakery product traditionally eaten during the Mid-Autumn Festival.  The festival is for lunar worship and moon watching, when mooncakes are regarded as an indispensable delicacy.  They are offered between friends, during family gatherings, or business associates.  The Mid-Autumn Festival is one of the four most important Chinese festivals.  There is a folktale about the overthrow of Mongol rule facilitated by messages smuggled in the mooncakes.  The mooncake contains a rich thick filling usually made from red bean or lotus seed pastes (although anything can be used) and surrounded by a thin crust and may contain yolks from salted duck eggs.  Making them is quite an involved process and can be quite expensive to purchase.

 

I had the opportunity to attend church one weekday night to have two experienced local women show a group of us expats how they are made.  That is a real treat.  I cannot tell you what everything was, nor the amounts, so I just snapped pictures all along the way!

One thing to note is that when the mooncake comes out of the oven, it still requires three days (of turning over once each day) before digesting. We also made a non-baked/refrigerated set of mooncakes and sampled the pig cookie filled with a paste.

Amah

An amah is a girl or woman employed by a family to clean and look after children, etc.  It is a domestic servant role which combines the functions of maid and nanny.  The term, resembling the pronunciation of "mother", is considered polite and respectful in the Chinese language when it is used to refer to a maid.  The word is common in East Asia and India.  Since the mid-1990s, it has become politically correct to refer to them as "helper."  (Wikipedia)

If only going through the process of getting a helper were that serene.

Having a helper in Singapore is quite common.  I recently heard that there are a million of them.  I mean this literally...one million.  It is quite an interesting idea.  Most expats (not just Americans) employ them.  Many of the Chinese, including Singaporean's, do as well.  Most houses, and many high-rise apartments, have a small (nix that and replace it with:  very tiny) extra room built in their residence for one.  Most of those employed are from the Philippines, followed in numbers by Indonesia.  Most live with their expat families 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  When they sign a contract, it is for 2 years.  Families are not obligated to send their helper home, except for every two years.  They are then responsible for the plane ticket(s).  Many helpers are married and have kids left at home.  Helpers get Sunday's and public holidays off.  Employers are responsible for the medical care of their helper.  Most helper's make in the range of SG $400-700/month.  An employer also has to pay a tax to the government of SG $265/month.

Having a virtual stranger (in the beginning) come live in your house and do all of your work is an interesting dynamic.  Knowing that they left their family behind (most who have kids have come to be a helper to provide an education for their children) to work for a family is also an interesting concept (to say the least).

We are in the process of hiring one.  It can be an easy experience.  It can also be an exhausting one.  Here's what we have gone through thus far:

1.  Before one can do anything official, one must attend a class about employing a helper.  No matter what the personal relationship is in the house, you are an employer.  Since I will be doing the legal hiring (and firing, if necessary), I am the one to attend the class.  If you have a SingPass, you can do it online.  I hear it's less than 1/2 an hour.  If you do not, and a few select Americans don't (we are one due to Jeremy's job...meaning we are here because of a classified "understanding" not here on a work pass), you have to attend a once a week offered, first come first served, physical classroom for almost 3 hours.  No stress in that, other than if you don't make it to the class, everything is held up for another week.  Not a problem if you are not trying to start a job by a certain date (cough, cough).  Here is a picture of the office who teaches the class that I took on the campus of Singapore Polytechnic:

2.  You must next decide who you are going to hire.  Technically there are three ways to do this.  #1 is a direct hire from the country (this can be pricey and not clear as to their work), #2 is a transfer (this is great to use as you can get a helper who you have seen working for a friend who no longer needs their services...typically because they are moving away), or #3 you can use an agency to interview helpers who come with a list of work history and recommendations, but whom you do not personally have first-hand knowledge of.

3.  If #3 is the way in which you look, you need to settle on an agency.  It is my understanding that each helper is only connected to one agency.  My reasoning for this is because they must be available for interviews (on Sunday, their day off) and would not be able to interview in two places at the same time.  It is difficult to choose an agency, though easy enough to do so blindly.  We gave thought to agencies that received high recommendations from random people in social media groups that we belonged to.  We gave thought to an agency that a lot of expats in our employment paperwork status use.  We gave thought to an agency  that a couple of our friends use.  An agency does not only do the initial paperwork, they do the paperwork needed in case you have any issues with your helper.  Many people look for agencies that treat the potential helpers as though they are real people, not "cattle" lined up looking for work.  (No joke, I heard that term more than once.)  The agency we ended up with is located in a local shopping mall.  It had many other agencies in this mall, and in this hall.  That was an interesting experience on the Sunday afternoon that we showed up for our interview appointments.  The hall was lined down both sides with little round plastic stools in which all of the helpers who were looking for a new employment contract sat.  I couldn't figure out a way to keep my "manners" and take a picture of that, so I opted to take a picture a few days later when filling out some additional paperwork:

4.  Also, if you are doing the interviewing, you must decide what is important to you in a helper and decide what questions you will ask to go about narrowing down your potentials.  My personal list ended up with almost 30 questions.  My questions ranged from name, age, religion (to hedge potential alternate holiday requests and non-compliance to cook pork) to why they were leaving their current employer (important pathological history) and if they'd worked for an expat family before (to understand cooking styles).  We also asked for a salary expectation.  I'd already turned down anyone who was asking "top dollar" as I knew what the going rate even in our neighborhood was.  We were concerned with situational questions such as, "If the kids are not getting along with each other while we are gone, how will you handle the situation?"  Some fun things that we learned from everyone is that:  no one smokes, everyone goes to church on Sunday, several play volleyball with other helper's, many have a sister or cousin also as a helper in Singapore, and no one knows how to bake.  We were quickly able to weed through some because there was too much of a language barrier, meaning though they understood English, they did not understand it quite enough to really hold a conversation (or speak it back).  We interviewed at least 8 one afternoon at the agency.  The day prior, we'd met up with a recommendation at a local mall foyer.  After the agency, we also had another recommendation come to our house for an interview.  In the end, we felt at peace with one of the helper's at the agency.

5.  Once you decide who you would like to hire, then the paperwork begins.  The night of the interviews, after making our decision, I e-mailed the agency our choice.  I increased her salary just slightly above her current rate.  She'd requested that we pay for her toiletries and had inquired upon food.  I stated that she could eat the food in the house.  (Some families to not state this or add an extra stipend for their helper to get their own.)  For the agency, I had to provide a good, long list of documents for the agency.  This ranged from copies to passports of all members of the family, to work documents, taxes, income verification, etc.  I signed (what felt like) as many forms as you would to purchase a house.  I signed for understandings of rules, regulations, and responsibilities; an agreed upon salary; insurance choices; bonds; etc.  The agency takes care of this on both the employer and the helper's sides.  They get everything off to the Singapore Ministry of Manpower.  I had this all in on a Wednesday.  Two days later they asked for me to sign another piece of paper.  We are now at this process and waiting.  The agency is hoping to have our helper in sometime that following week.  I paid the agency about SG $950 for all of this, including two years of insurance for massive medical claims (i.e., cancer, death, etc.) and a security bond (for the positive treatment of the helper as well as security if she were to go missing.)  By the middle of this process, your head is spinning.  On a side note, the helper also pays the agency.  She must hand over two months of pay.  If she does not have this saved up, you cover the expense, and dock her pay until it is "reimbursed" to you.  One thing to be ahead on is when their work permit ends.  It must be renewed every five years.  The family who has the helper under their contract at this time is the one who pays.  It's about $1000.  The passport renewal is $250, but the helper pays that cost.  One must also think about what requests the helper has.  This was an important question during our interviewing process.  One must keep in mind that some helpers are getting $100-200 as a food stipend and some have their employer top-up their MRT card and/or pay their cell phone bill.

6.  While juggling all of this, one must get their house in order.  Equally important are the room in which they will inhabit and the schedule of work that they will do.  Each room is mandated to have a bed, mattress, set of sheets, coverlet, and pillow.  There must also be a place to place her clothes.  We currently have a mattress, pillow and dresser.  We are working on everything else (someone bless IKEA for having a store in Singapore) as well as a bookshelf for personal items.  Our helper will be staying in our "mother-in-law room" on the ground floor inside our house instead of outside in the formally designated "helper room."  However, our helper will be using the outside "helper bathroom."  Pictures to come with the picture of our helper.  The schedule is something perplexing.  Trying to figure out how to account for your time on to sheet of paper via an actual timeline for someone else to follow is complex.  A really good helper, in my opinion, is someone who can just know what to do and how to do it.  Realistically, most rely on a schedule.  After all, you are the employer, it is your house, and you do have opinions as to how things are done.  Finding the right helper and schedule, per family, is tricky.  Some employers like to micro-manage every minute of the schedule and detail of cleanliness and cooking, others just want someone to come in to take care of it, but in a consistent manner.  Most helper's are there to please you in the manner that you wish.  I am currently trying to figure out a recipe system that she will be able to understand (for example, I know which favorite recipe is in which cookbook and she does not and I will be at work...).  Oh the things one must think of.  Someone has probably written a book.  If they have not, it will not be me.  I'm still trying to keep up on the normal activity schedule, cook, and clean...like normal people.

Lastly, if you are not exhausted enough...heaven help the husband who is out of town during this ordeal.  Surely he will catch the "stress releasing" micro-bursts in real time.  Jeremy landed in from Brunei and walked in the door 15 minutes before I drove off for the "Foreign Domestic Worker" Friday night class.  He also headed back out for California the day before all the first paperwork went into the agency.  While I am grateful he was around for the interviews, there was also only 84 hours between those flights.  That included finding out that the bed frame we had, and he'd constructed, was not going to work.  Uncheck that job on his to-do list and add it to mine.

Bless us that the peace will return.  I am counting on it the first time she cleans a bathroom or cooks a meal.  May we have a comfortable, family-like/teamwork-style relationship with her.  I am counting on this as Americans tend to treat their helper's the best.  It is an interesting concept to grasp.  Her current (Chinese) employer had her sleeping with their dogs and the previous (Chinese) employer before that did not mention that they had six kids in the house.  Who wouldn't want to come to us?  We only have four and Jack is long gone!

We will introduce her to you soon!  That is, after we sign more paperwork, get her settled within the house, show her how to get to the store/school/preschool/wet market, get her school passes, start a routine,...

Back to School Nights

Each one of our kids had a separate "Back to School Night" a couple weeks after school started.  Jeremy and I endured the more-than-three-hour-long one for Allison.  We attended a 45-minute meeting about her annual, mandatory CWW trip.  In middle school, each year and each grade, attends a three-day, two-night trip to another nearby country (no airplanes).  These meetings are always a little interesting with the "specific-to-my-child-only" questions at the end.  For example:  Do I need to give my child's bug spray to the school nurse?  (My answer:  Ummm, what grade is your child in, again?!) to Will the extra security at the resort be carrying weapons?  (My answer:  Ummm, who are you and what in the world do you do for work that this would be necessary?!)  We then met with each and every teacher for a 10-minute presentation in each respective classroom, with five-minute breaks for changes between.

Madison's night was less dramatic and more relaxed by a period to free flow throughout the specials teachers.  It was followed by a mandatory meeting in her classroom for her teacher to set us straight on schedules and expectations.  We were also given instruction on the new math program and how to navigate the websites for this.

Parker's night is the one that I always look forward to.  When the kids are in the younger grades, you always know that they've been working on artwork to decorate the classroom.  I took pictures with my camera phone in a semi-darkened room.  However, I was able to get Parker to "translate" the things I could not get good clear pictures of.

First Grade Rules:
1.  No being mean to the teacher.  (this is very important.)
2.  No biting.  (maybe?)
3.  (not sure of)

I am good at writing stories:

First Day Worries:
I was worried about a witch turned the school invisible and that I will be lost.  (Grammatical errors left intact but spelling corrected.)

(They each had a different plant.)
Parker
I am a snap plant.
I am from Georgia.

Brunei

Jeremy got to go to the country of Brunei for work recently.  I've really wanted to go and check out the architecture.  He didn't have much to say about it.  But, to give you an idea, Brunei doesn't manufacture anything.  About the only thing that they export is oil.  Jeremy had a really difficult time finding me a "souvenir" from there because of this.

So, I didn't get any great photo shots of the country.  To add further "salt to the wound" I got these photo shots of his hotel:

Jeremy had an uneventful trip.  He stayed in the hotel most of the time.  He was there supporting ASEAN Defense Minister's Meeting.  He was very familiar with this from his Graduate studies.  He was mostly doing protective duty for the US Secretary of Defense.