Showing posts with label Gerard Brennan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gerard Brennan. Show all posts

Tuesday, 10 July 2018

Irish Times review of DISORDER



This review, written by Declan Burke, appeared in The Irish Times on Saturday 21st April 2018.

Potential for violence

Set in Belfast, Gerard Brennan’s Disorder (No Alibis Press, €9.99) opens with stoned student Jimmy McAuley wandering into some “recreational rioting” and sounding off to TV journalist Grace Doran about “the subhuman imbeciles throwing their toys out of the pram over flags and marches”. When the clip of his rant goes viral, Jimmy finds himself at the heart of a maelstrom, caught up in corrupt DI Tommy Bridge’s long-running investigation into Loyalist hard man Clark Wallace.

Disorder reads like Adrian McKinty adapting one of Carl Hiaasen’s shaggy dog tales for a Northern Ireland setting, a coal-black comedy caper in which everyone seems to be feeding off the manic energy generated by the potential for violence that seems stitched into every page.

McAuley is an endearingly shambolic creation, his innocence in sharp contrast to Belfast’s brutal cynicism and the overall tone of world-weary acceptance, a tone leavened and accentuated by Brennan’s dust-dry humour: “the sound . . . swelled and faded in the form of a passing siren. There was an emergency somewhere in Belfast. There always would be.”

Declan Burke is an author and journalist. He is currently Dublin City Council / UNESCO writer-in-residence.

Original link.

Get your copy of Disorder from No Alibis Press,

Wednesday, 13 June 2018

The Gerard Brennan Disorder Podcast



I've finally done it. After years of thinking about it, months of talking about it, and weeks of reading about it, I've figured out how to record and distribute a podcast from the comfort of my own bedroom/office/studio. And by the time you read this there might even be a second or third episode available for you to sample.

For now, I'm still experimenting with the format, but I'd like to get some feedback on what the sweet spot for a one-man crime fiction show is, so tell me if it's over too quickly or runs too long. As I say in the first episode, I do want to address questions about the creative writing process, and to talk about the books I'm reading or have recently read.

Tuning in will also keep you up to date on my upcoming releases and all that jazz, because self promotion.

These early podcasts are basically for the people who have asked for audiobook versions of my work. I'm starting with my novella, BOUNCE. It's free, the sound quality is pretty good, and my accent is weird.

Why haven't you downloaded it already?

Links:

iTunes

PodBean

TuneIn

Friday, 18 May 2018

Fireproof Now Available in Paperback



For the first time ever, Fireproof is available in paperback.

Here's a little of what Ken Bruen had to say about it, once upon a time:

"Equally hilarious and jaw-droppingly violent at once. Reading this novel was a total blast."

Tempted?

Tuesday, 17 April 2018

Your Turn at the Cathedral Quarter Arts Festival

I'll be forever grateful to Conor Maguire for being so determined to get this play on the stage. And for finding the perfect actors to bring it to life. Come one, come all, and let's get this show on the road.



YOUR TURN
SUNFLOWER PUBLIC HOUSE
TUESDAY 8 & WEDNESDAY 9 MAY, 8.00PM
TICKETS £8.00
BOOK TICKETS

A riotous new comedy makes its premiere at the Cathedral Quarter Arts Festival this year. Every parent will know when it’s your turn, it’s your turn, except when it isn’t…

Relationships, stand-up, and how not to dispose of nappies all feature as a couple wake up to the reality of parenthood.

Penned by Gerard Brennan, who co-wrote The Sweety Bottle with his father, Joe, the first play to transfer from The Baby Grand to the main stage at The Grand Opera House.

Doors 7:45pm | Unreserved Seating

Tickets also available from: Visit Belfast | 028 90 246 609
9 Donegall Square North - Open 7 days a Week


Thursday, 25 January 2018

Disorder on Kindle (et al)



Oi! You know that book I wrote? No, not that one. DISORDER.

Aye, well you can get it on your Kindle now. And on other e-readers, I believe. I haven't checked because I don't have those kind of e-readers. But sure, have a hoke about the site if you're into Apple Books or whatever.

Here's a wee blurb for it, in case you need convincing:

"Tommy Bridge is on a mission. A Yoga mat, his Buddhist teaching and a Glock, his main weapons of choice. Tommy has had a tough time as a Cop. Now he has a clear and definite purpose. Deal with a local crime Kingpin and he may just achieve some sense of redemption.

Patricia, “Dev”, Devenney, Tommy’s partner. Made from more traditional stock. All Dev wants is for Tommy to be at peace with himself…hopefully keeping him alive along the way.

Clark Wallace, the Kingpin. Clark has values, traditions, honour- unfortunately, none of them are really traits that normal folk would adhere to. Clark is like a bad nightmare in technicolour and this movie is about to go into 3D.

Jimmy McAuley. The student. Failing at University. Soaring with the Weed. Quite simply, Jimmy is in the wrong place at the wrong time - stoned and about to learn a harsh life lesson. Hopefully he can pass this exam.

Grace Dornan. The reporter. Grace knows what her Prize should be. The only problem for Grace is that she may let the “truth” behind this grand saga be the last thing she seeks."

Sounds like a cracker, so it does. Grab a copy and see what you think, ye rocket ye.

Peace.

Monday, 7 November 2016

Still Playing About With Old Thoughts



I'm thinking about writing a lot lately (as a precursor to writing a lot). In order to get this blog active again, I think I'm going to post a series of links to interviews or blog posts I've done about writing. I'll either signpost it and say I still agree with what I thought then, or challenge that past version of me by calling bullshit on whatever advice I have since learned is no pearl of wisdom.

Because of yesterday's post about my dad's upcoming play, The Blue Boy, set in Omeath (just across Carlingford Lough from Warrenpoint where I've set a bunch of stories myself), I figured I'd start with this fun interview we did for Owen Quinn's Time Warriors site in the midst of The Sweety Bottle's modest success.

Click here, people!

And while I work on the second Shannon McNulty novel (one of my Warrenpoint based works), I'll be thinking about these encouraging words from my father:

"Of course he got his skills from me. I won five shillings for writing, at the age of ten. That was forty eight years ago. I can still remember the two big silver half crowns, it was a fortune in those days. Seriously, I won’t try to take any credit for Gerard’s achievements, there was too much hard work and determination on his part to get where he is now. We worked very well together I think that was quite unusual."

This might be one of my favourite writing interviews. It's like a virtual pat on the head.

Saturday, 5 November 2016

Papa's Got a Brand New Play


A quick apology to Declan Burke for stealing his blog title style. Imitation and flattery, squire.

And so, you lucky people who read this, should get ready for the latest Joe Brennan play. I've been reliably informed that The Blue Boy is in production with Brassneck Theatre. I've read this play, but had no hand in editing or rewriting. This is a true blue Joe Brennan piece. And it's incredibly powerful. I really can't wait to see this one. And that's not just because I'm Joe Brennan's son. My father has been writing solo for years now, and this play is his masterpiece.

I would have bummed and blown more about The Sweety Bottle (set and writers pictured above) had I not been one of the co-writers. My braggadocios nature needs to be kept on a short leash. And I don't lie about other people's work. If I don't like it, I'll rarely attack it (unless it's a measured critical essay or something boring like that). I won't talk about it at all, really.

Anyway, I'll post a blurb for Joe Brennan's new play as and when it becomes available. Watch this space.

He has me thinking about working on another play (I've written a couple solo myself the last few years) but I really need knuckle down and finish the second book featuring my Warrenpoint detective, Shannon McNulty.

Peace, folks.

Monday, 31 October 2016

Happy Halloween, folks.

Have a listen:


The image is my own tattoo. This was done by the fabulous Gigi McQueen of Timepiece Tattoo.

Thursday, 31 March 2016

Closing in on 50

Tuesday, 22 December 2015

Writing CV, as at December 2015

Publications
  • Novella, The Point, Pulp Press 2011 (re-released by Blasted Heath in 2013)
  • Novel, Wee Rockets, Blasted Heath, 2012
  • Novel, Fireproof, Blasted Heath, Fight Card Books, 2012
  • Novella, Welcome to the Octagon, 2013
  • Novella, Wee Danny, Blasted Heath, 2013
  • Novella, Bounce, Verbal Arts Centre (commisioned for the Killer Books festival), 2013
  • Novella, Breaking Point, Blasted Heath, 2014
  • Novel, Undercover, Blasted Heath, 2015

Relevant Work History
  • Freelance Writer at Culture NI (http://www.culturenorthernireland.org), 2010 to 2011
  • Webmaster at Crime Scene NI, a blog devoted to Northern Irish crime writing
  • University Tutor at QUB on the Introduction to Creative Writing module; September 2014 to present. Module includes prose, poetry and drama (screen, stage and radio)

Writing Awards
  • Arts Council of Northern Ireland, SIAP award, received five times between 2007 and 2015 (four times for literature, once for drama)
  • Arts Council of Northern Ireland, Travel award, received to support a trip to Long Beach CA to attend Bouchercon (a crime fiction convention) as a panel member and a representative of Northern Irish crime fiction, 2014
  • Northern Ireland Screen, Script Development award, for screenplays titled The Point and Time, 2008 and 2014 respectively

Theatre Production
  • An Irish Possession, One-man show written and performed for The Black Box Lunchtime Theatre, directed by Conor Maguire, 2010
  • The Sweety Bottle, Regional tour via Brassneck Theatre Company, 2013 (March to April)
  • The Sweety Bottle, Eight performances at The Grand Opera House via Brassneck Theatre Company (transferred from the Baby Grand to the Auditorium due to popular demand – the first play to achieve this at the Grand Opera House in its history), 2013 (August)

Education

  • Masters, Creative Writing, Queen’s University Belfast, 2011-2012
  • PhD student (post-differentiation), Creative Writing thesis titled Radical Crime Fiction, Queen’s University Belfast, 2013-present

Tuesday, 8 December 2015

Shameless Advertising



I've reduced the price of the paperback versions of Undercover and Wee Rockets on Amazon. The prices will remain low until after Christmas.

Let me be clear, I'd prefer it if you bought my books from No Alibis in Belfast, but that just isn't physically possible for everybody. So this is for the readers who can't make it to my favourite bookshop.

If you want to put a physical copy of one of my books into a friend or relative's hand, using one of the following links is probably the easiest way to do it:

Paperbacks (Ireland &) UK

Paperbacks US

Paperbacks CA

Merry Christmas, folks.


Wednesday, 26 November 2014

UNDERCOVER Launch

Except it's not undercover. It's at No Alibis book store on Botanic Avenue, Belfast.

Details:

Gerard (that's me -- trying to be all official) invites you to the launch of his novel, UNDERCOVER (the first Cormac Kelly thriller) on Wednesday 3rd December at 7:30pm. The venue is No Alibis book store on Botanic Avenue, Belfast, and the book will be £8.99. So you'll have change from a tenner. Not bad, eh? I'll even make sure there's free wine, so you're getting a hell of a deal, especially if you're a dipso who isn't afraid to ask for a top-up.



Want to read a wee bit about the book?

Go on, then:

When undercover detective Cormac Kelly infiltrates a ruthless gang bent on kidnapping and extortion, he is forced to break cover and shoot his way out of a hostage situation gone bad.

Tearing through the dangerous streets of Belfast with a twelve-year-old boy and his seriously injured father in tow, Kelly desperately tries to evade the gang and reconnect the family with the boy’s mother, football agent Lydia Gallagher. But she is in London, unaware of their freedom and being forced by the gang to betray her top client.

As Kelly breaks every rule in the book and crosses the line from legit police officer to rogue cop on the run, the role of dapper but deadly ex-spook Stephen Black means the difference between life and death.

What They're Saying About Gerard Brennan

"A cheeky slice of urban noir, a drink-soaked, drug-addled journey into the violent underbelly of one of Europe's most notorious ghettos, Wee Rockets makes The Outsiders look like The Teletubbies" – Colin Bateman

"Gerard Brennan stands apart from the Irish crime fiction crowd with a novel rooted in the reality of today's Belfast. The author's prose speaks with a rare authenticity about the pain of growing up in a fractured society, shot through with a black humour that can only come from the streets. Wee Rockets is urban crime fiction for the 21st century, and Brennan is a unique voice among contemporary Irish writers." – Stuart Neville

"In Wee Rockets Gerard Brennan has written a fast-paced, exciting story of West Belfast gang culture; brimming with violence, authentic street dialogue and surprising black humour. This is a great debut novel. Brennan takes us into the heart of Belfast's chav underclass, in a story that lies somewhere in the intersection between The Warriors, Colin Bateman and Guy Ritchie. This is the first in what undoubtedly will be a stellar literary career. – Adrian McKinty

"the real deal — the writing is razor sharp, the characters engaging, the ending a blast. From start to finish it's true Northern Noir, crafted with style and wit." – Brian McGilloway

"…a Coen Brothers dream, via Belfast… Gerard Brennan grabs the mantle of the new mystery prince of Northern Ireland…" – Ken Bruen

"It needs to be said that Gerard Brennan's The Point is terrific. Scorchingly funny, black humour at its finest and the most inventive car theft ever!" – Arlene Hunt

"Noir from Norn Iron! A lean slice of grindhouse from Belfast's new crime hack." – Wayne Simmons

Friday, 31 October 2014

The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe (read by me)

Happy Halloween, folks.

Ever since the Homer Simpson version in one of the Treehouse of Horror episodes, I've wanted to have a bit of fun with this poem. I didn't do many takes (I think this one was take 2), because a bit of quiet space is hard to come by in our busy household. So, forgive the sound quality. With a little more time and peace, maybe I can do better. We'll see next year.

For now, have a listen:


The image is my own tattoo. This was done by the fabulous Gigi McQueen of Timepiece Tattoo.

Thursday, 30 October 2014

PODCE for FREE


EDIT (30/10/14) Free again until Tuesday 4th November.

EDIT (05/08/14)! It's probably not free right now, but it'll not cost you much, like.

This wee collection hasn't gotten a whole lot of consumer love in the last few months. Sales have been in single figures, in fact. It's a decent enough collection, so I thought I'd try and boost its profile a little. So, it'll be a Kindle freebie for three days starting some time tomorrow.

Get some.

Go on.

It's got some nice reviews over on the Amazons. Got to be worth the time it takes to click that 'buy it now' button.

Amazon UK

Amazon US

Incidentally, the collection includes the tale An Irish Possession, which was performed as a one-man show at The Black Box in 2010. That was fun.

Ken Bruen on FIREPROOF


“…Also, I'm in a monogamous relationship, so I don't really agree with orgies."
"Sacrifices and orgies have nothing to do with the religion. All that shit was developed by people who wanted to kill things and shag a lot. That's not what it's all about."
"That right?"
"Yeah. I've been working hard to try and shake that kind of misconception."
"Working as what?"
"A representative of Lucifer. I was s
ent here to build a Satanic Religion."
"Okay. Why did Lucifer think a tattoo parlour was the best place to start?"

“This is just one of the various scintillating hilarious surreal chats in Fireproof, the new novel from the excellent Gerard Brennan.
Phew-oh, GB's début was terrific but this is a huge leap forward, an assured fully-formed artist in total control of his art.
Equally hilarious and jaw-droppingly violent at once.
Reading this novel was a total blast.
Catapults GB to the very first league.
And… you'll never… ever see Cadbury's n' Nestle in quite the same or indeed sane fashion again.
Superb.
Thanks, Gerard, for a wondrous read.”

From Ken Bruen, Shamus award winning author of Headstone



Saturday, 25 October 2014

Welcome to the Octagon Kindle Freebie



For the first time ever, Welcome to the Octagon, a Fight Card MMA novella, is free to download on Kindle. And it's a UFC weekend! I mean, come on! Just because our hero, Conor McGregor, doesn't have a spot on UFC 179 doesn't mean you can't get your fill of Irish fighters. This Belfast set tale of underground MMA and predatory gangsters will rattle your dome worse than a well-placed roundhouse.

Don't believe me? Here's a little love from the great Peter Rozovsky of Detectives Beyond Borders:

"Brennan knows how to keep a story moving, planting narrative hooks toward the ends of his chapters and throwing in at least one character wrinkle unlikely to have shown up in an old-time boxing story. But what may have impressed me most is his engagement with MMA, a sport until now shoved somewhere back in my consciousness next to street luge, half-pipe, and bicycle motocross. MMA is compounded of styles and techniques taken from many fighting sports, and Welcome to the Octagon is full of observations about the resulting complexity and the demands it places on the fighters.

"Welcome to the Octagon has heart, humor, and respectful engagement with its subject. What's not to like?"

Read the entire blog post (and the fun debate in the comments section) right here.

And get your copy of Welcome to the Octagon at the relevant Amazon territory:

UK
US
CA
DE

If you want me to add your territory, just leave a comment and I'll edit the post.

Freebie offer ends 29th October 2014.

Here's a little more info on the wee book:

FIGHT CARD MMA: WELCOME TO THE OCTAGON

Belfast 2013

Mickey The Rage Rafferty has gone through some tough times, but he's not ready to tap-out just yet. The Belfast widower has to take care of his eight-year-old daughter, Lily. However, his main talent is fighting and the only way he can make enough money off it to support his girl is to take dodgy underground matches paying off in bloodstained cash. Mickey’s trainer, Eddie Smith, doesn't approve. He wants his most promising student to step into the cage as a real martial artist, not as a fool for thugs and gangsters.

With Eddie on the verge of cutting him loose, Mickey is up against the cage – crushed between fast cash and a legitimate career. Mickey has some big decisions to make and some even bigger opponents to face.

The MMA life can be harsh, and it’s never easy ... Welcome To The Octagon.

Thursday, 23 October 2014

Breaking Point - Chapters 1 and 2



Can’t Get No Sleep
Brian Morgan stood by the side of the bed and looked down at his girlfriend. It wasn’t even midnight and she was dead to the world. Still breathing, but dead to the world.
He gripped the edges of his pillow tight.
Rachel O’Hare didn’t snore. Her breathing never seemed to catch a steady enough rhythm for it. At random intervals she made a noise, somewhere between a sigh and a moan. Brian wondered if that meant she was dreaming. And if so, did she suffer the same nightmares he did.
“I love you, Rachel,” Brian whispered, half-enamoured by the idea that she might be able to hear him. “But sometimes I don’t know whether to kiss you or kill you.”
And he meant every word of that shitty cliché.
Even if he didn’t have the guts to do the deed.
Brian gave his aching hands a rest and hugged the pillow to his chest. He studied Rachel in the faint strip of light cast by the bare bulb in the ensuite bathroom.
She still managed to look pretty, even with sleep-lines, a slack jaw and a string of drool running from the corner of her mouth to the pillowcase. Her face would convince the most cynical that she was one of the innocent ones. Brian knew different. So did his dead brother.
He rounded the bed and gently laid his pillow down on his side of the queen-size. On his way to the ensuite, the loose floorboard creaked. Rachel gasped and the mattress springs clicked and boinged.
“Brian?”
“Aye.”
“Coming to bed?”
“Going to the toilet.”
“Come to bed after.”
“Aye.”
He had no intention of trying to sleep. It didn’t matter. Rachel would have no recollection of asking him by the morning. They’d been through this more than once before.
Brian checked the mirror above the sink and ran his hand over the stubble on his head. He still wasn’t used to the look or the feel of his new haircut. The clownish curls were gone for good. He appeared older, harder and more serious than he felt. Maybe a little thinner too. He forced a smile and saw the ghost of his old self in the reflection. Then he let the well-worn frown take over again.
“More muscles to smile than frown? My hole.”
He threw some toilet roll into the bowl to soften the sound of his pissing. When he was done, he shook off and tucked in, but didn’t flush. He washed his hands, ignored the toothbrush and left the ensuite without pulling the cord to turn off the light. Rachel preferred to sleep with it on. It would suit him better if she didn’t feel the need to get up and turn it back on again.
Brian made it down the stairs with the balance and poise of an alley cat on a razor wire-topped wall. He knew by now which ones made the most noise and how much weight the handrail could take before the loosened spindles groaned.
In the kitchen, he closed the door gently, took a bottle of beer from the fridge and his tobacco tin from the medicine cupboard. He popped the beer open with his teeth and thumbed the lid off his tobacco tin. There was plenty of Golden Virginia, and a couple of packets of rolling papers. He didn’t realise he was so low on weed, though.



Stony Tony
Tony Barnes clicked pause on the instructional video. He backed away from his laptop to give himself enough space to perform the move. The Praying Mantis techniques seemed a little easier to pick up than the Crane styles he’d been studying the day before. The wide stance better suited his lower centre of gravity and there were fewer high kicks. He really needed to work on his flexibility. The ability to perform an impressive roundhouse kick was a must if he wanted to attract prospective students.
He held his hands up in a classic boxing guard then hooked his wrists so that his fully extended fingers pointed to the ground. Already he felt like the noble praying mantis. The technique looked dead flash without being too difficult. He’d download a few more of this particular kung fu master’s videos to emulate.
Tony unleashed a flurry of strikes. He wasn’t entirely sure, but he had a suspicion that he might break his own fingers if he hit somebody with his hands angled this way. That wouldn’t be good. He went back to the desk and took his spliff out of the ashtray. It needed to be relit. He sparked it, drew deep and thought about Praying Mantis kung fu. It looked the part, but he wasn’t totally sold that it would work for him. Still, it’d be a nice wee demo technique.Maybe try some Tiger style next.
Tony rattled the phrase into his search engine and clicked on the first result. It amused him that so many of these supposed kung fu masters were American. Where were all the little old wise Chinese men?
He bookmarked a video that featured a man with an impressive biker’s beard and a solid round gut that was just a little bigger than his own. The joint had burned down to the roach. He took a last pull that almost roasted his lips and held it in his lungs for half a minute. His vision darkened at the edges and he exhaled.
Time to roll a fresh one.
Tony pulled open the desk drawer to grab his bag of weed and his papers. He tutted when he saw that there was barely enough in there to fill a single-skinner. His stash was tapped out. He’d have to skim a little off the stock.
Don’t get high on your own supply? Bullshit. Spread the skim over enough baggies and he’d be sweet. A true stoner customer wouldn’t sweat it even if they did figure out their deal was a little light.
But he’d have to call Malachy about topping up his personal stock.
His mobile rang. He drew the knackered Nokia out of the pocket of his silk Chinese suit, checked the caller ID and smiled.
“Malachy. I was just thinking about you.”
“And did money feature in those thoughts?”
“Yeah, sort of. I need more stock.”
“You still owe me for the last three orders.”
Three? He hadn’t realised he’d gotten that deep into debt. He forced a confident and cheery tone.
“Yeah, yeah. No worries there at all, man. I’ll sort you out. Expecting the cash to flow in when I start this new thing I’ve gotten into. Soon as I get paid the money’s going straight to you.”
“You’re telling me to wait, then? Hold off a few days? Is that it?”
“I’d never tell you to do anything, Malachy.”
“Great. I’ll be there soon.”
Malachy cut the call and Tony slipped his mobile back into his pocket. He looked about his living room. The only thing of real value was his laptop. And it was a year old. Depreciating by the second. He needed it, too. It was his gateway to the world of kung fu. Without it, he couldn’t keep abreast of the techniques he would teach when he opened his club.

Tony hit play on the Tiger style video. He hoped to God it was effective and easy to pick up.


Want more? Visit the Blasted Heath website for ebook links.
But you might want to read The Point first.

Wednesday, 22 October 2014

UNDERCOVER - Chapter 1

Chapter 1



If you're standing between me and the goal, you're not my friend.
Rory Cullen, CULLEN: The Autobiography


Cormac Kelly nibbled on the inside of his ski mask. He'd been given the only one without a mouth-hole and it was driving him nuts. The damp fibres irritated his lips. He'd already swallowed four or five little balls of chewed wool but couldn't stop himself from biting off another tiny piece. They stuck to the walls of his dry throat. He'd be hawking up hairballs all night.
It didn't matter what line of work you were in, the new guy always got the crap. A ski mask with no mouth-hole, a dinged-up old Ruger Security Six revolver in serious need of a clean, and the shittiest job – babysitting.
The kidnapped man slumped in the middle of a bare mattress pushed up against a damp wall. The boy sat slightly apart from his father. His knees were drawn up to his chest and his arms wrapped around his shins. His head tipped back to rest against the wall. He hadn't uttered a peep since Big Frank had scared him with a few dummy digs for the camera. Once or twice the boy had glanced at his father with disappointment etched deep in his face, as if he wondered how his guardian, his hero, his protector, had let them get into this mess.
And it didn't look as if Daddy was going to spring into action mode any time soon. Although the boy wouldn't understand it, this was the best thing his father could do for him. Heroics got people killed.
Big Frank blundered into the room. He moved without grace and his footsteps clapped like thunder. The boy tensed at the sight of the juggernaut who'd bullied him for the camera. Built like a silverback on steroids, Big Frank would scare the life out of most men. Put him in a ski mask and he became the stuff of nightmares. His lips stretched wide as he treated Cormac to a craggy-toothed smile through the mouth-hole of his ski mask.
"The boys are waiting for the bitch at the cottage."
The father's frame tensed. He breathed deep but didn't complain. The boy shot a death stare at Big Frank. Looked like he was ready to jump up and lamp the giant. Fiery wee bastard.
Cormac kept an eye on the boy as he responded to Big Frank. "Great."
"Aye, she'll be scared shitless. That wee video turned out a beezer."
"Okay."
"Amazing what you can do these days, isn't it? I mind a time when you'd have to send fingers through the post to get what you wanted. Everything's digital now."
"Aye."
"It's like living in the future."
Cormac could see that Big Frank's brainless chatter poked at the boy like a rusty spike. His little fists clenched up into white-knuckled knots of fury. He was bound to do something stupid if Cormac let the oaf ramble on.
"Would you put the kettle on, mate?" Cormac said. "I've been gasping for hours."
Big Frank took a step back. "Get away to fuck. You think this is a day at the office?"
"Don't know, big man. Aren't you the one gabbing away like we're on our tea break?"
Big Frank's teeth disappeared behind a tight-lipped slit. He turned in a clumsy half-circle and headed for the door.
Cormac couldn't resist a parting shot. "And tell that other fat shite-bag to come in here and do a turn. He's not even offered me so much as a toilet break."
"You can piss yourself, you wanker."
Big Frank clattered out of the room and slammed the door behind him. The father and son flinched, though Cormac thought he could see the trace of a smirk on the boy's face. He was tempted to engage the young fellah in some idle banter but knew it to be a bad idea. So he went back to chewing on his damp balaclava. It passed the time.
###


Lydia Gallagher stepped onto the cast-iron doormat of the cottage and rummaged through her handbag for the key. Her rain-soaked hair clung to her face. She wished for an umbrella, gave up the hunt for the key and hammered on the door with the side of her fist.
Footsteps thudded on the other side of the windowless slab of oak and she brightened in anticipation of John's welcome. It had been a long day and she craved a decent glass of Pinot. She turned to wave her taxi away. Its tail lights disappeared behind the hedging on the side of the main road.
The door creaked open. Lydia gazed deep into the twin barrels of a sawn-off. The shotgun's hollow stare watched without passion. She took one step backwards. Gravel scrunched under her heel.
Run.
But she couldn't.
Lydia looked over the sawn-off at the gunman. Eyes as dispassionate as the shotgun muzzle nestled in the peepholes of a black ski mask. She raised her hands.
The gunman reached out and grabbed Lydia's lapels with his free hand. He kept the shotgun trained on her face and walked backwards into the hallway. Lydia followed without resistance. She listened out for her family. Nothing. The light in the kitchen was out. A telltale sign that Mattie, her son, hadn't mooched in the cupboards for a pre-dinner snack. Whatever was going on had started a few hours ago.
"Where are they?"
The gunman said nothing. He yanked her into the living room.
The television played on mute. Two more masked men sat on the sofa and gazed into the pale blue light of a documentary about sharks. They didn't look up at her, but Lydia noticed one of them lift a handgun from the arm of the sofa and thumb a little switch on the side. Acknowledgement enough.
She tried again. "My son. My husband. Where are they?"
The silence crept into her bones. She could have screamed, but it seemed wrong. Like belting out a football chant in a chapel.
The first man shoved her into the armchair closest to the TV – furthest from the door. He stood in front of her. Lowered his sawn-off.
"What the fuck do you want?" Lydia was hyper-aware of her London accent in the eerie calm. She could feel the panic take hold of her heart. Claw at her lungs. Tie knots in her bowels.
The man with the sawn-off leaned forward and back-handed her across the face. Instinctively she kicked out at him. Her leg arced upwards as she aimed her shin at his groin. He parried her kick with his knee and slammed the palm of his hand into her forehead. The dull thwack juddered her vision and shoved her head against the back of the seat. She blinked away black dots. The pain faded quickly but left a hangover of weakness and humiliation.
The men on the sofa shifted forward and perched on the edge of their seat. With elbows on knees, they watched. Lydia tried not to think about what they might be expecting to happen. She squirmed. Needed to pee.
"Take off your shoes."
The gunman's Belfast growl matched his mask.
Lydia raised her hands to ward off another attack. "What is this? I don't… Are you an IRA man?"
He swept her hands to the side and slapped her again. It stung like he'd shoved her face in nettles. One of the sofa jockeys sniggered.
"Shut your mouth and do as you're told, wee girl."
Lydia kicked off her heels. The tingle of fresh circulation in her toes didn't bring the usual relief. All she felt was fear and confusion. She didn't understand why he wanted her shoes. Maybe he was worried that she'd try and hit him with one of them. She prayed that he wouldn't ask her to remove anything else.
The gunman punted her shoes into the corner of the room.
"Give me your handbag." In his thick Belfast accent it sounded like he wanted her hawndbeg.
Lydia handed it over. He studied the brand logo on the buckle.
"Is this a real Lewis Vuitton?"
Lydia paused a second before she nodded.
He curled his lip in distaste and tossed the bag into the corner with her shoes. The contents clattered.
"Now your coat."
"How far is this going to go?"
"Don't flatter yourself, love."
Lydia struggled out of her knee-length coat. She was afraid to stand in case she earned another slap so she shifted from side to side as she dragged it out from under her bum. Just another indignity.
The gunman threw the woollen coat into the corner and moved to the other armchair. A black canvas holdall sat on the cushion. He unzipped it and poked around inside.
Lydia's skin tightened into gooseflesh. The house was cold. It smelt wrong. The scent of strange men.
The gunman pulled a smartphone from the holdall and handed it to one of the sniggering sofa jockeys. "Get the thing working."
He tapped the screen a few times and passed it back to the gunman. He brought it to Lydia and dropped it in her lap.
"Watch."
Lydia picked up the phone and squinted at the little display.
A masked man stood over Mattie – her thirteen-year-old son – with his fists curled. Mattie scuttled backwards on all fours, his mouth pulled back in a ghost train grimace.
Lydia sprang out of the armchair and launched herself at the gunman. She clawed at his eyes and caught a handful of ski mask. The gunman danced backwards and batted her hands away. He was light on his feet and skilled. Lydia shrieked and stepped up her attack. Swung arms and legs at the dancing bastard. He sidestepped. Buried the butt of his sawn-off into her solar plexus. Air whooshed from her lungs. She wheezed and crumpled face-first into the carpet. Hitched her breath, sputtered and pulled her knees under her chest.
The ten seconds of footage from the video clip played on a loop in her mind.
She cried.
A rough hand seized a fistful of hair from the back of her head and hauled her to her feet. She tried to strike out behind her with the heel of her shoeless foot. Earned a kick in the backside for her troubles. Hot breath blasted in her ear.
"Settle yourself."
The fight drained from her and she sagged. The gunman practically held her up by the hair. He led her back to the armchair and dropped her into it.
The gunman adjusted his ski mask and sighed. "Your son hasn't been hurt. Yet. Neither has your husband. But we will hurt them if we don't get what we want. Hurt them a lot and then kill them. Let that sit with you for a second or two. See how it makes you feel."
Lydia gripped the arms of her chair. She opened her mouth to speak.
The gunman raised a gloved finger to the lower part of his ski mask. Lydia clamped her mouth shut.
"Now, Missus Gallagher. You listen to me and do exactly as I say."
She swiped fresh tears from her eyes with the sleeve of her suit jacket. "Okay."
###


Cormac had almost gnawed himself a ragged mouth-hole when Paddy waddled into the room. Paddy weighed about as much as Big Frank did, but he was made up of doughy fat that drooped from his bones like custard in a condom. His arms were always in motion as if they couldn't find a casual spot on his soft body to rest against. Paddy was the lame duck of the crew. A blood connection with the boss was the only thing that booked him a place on these jobs. And yet, he still ranked higher than Cormac.
Paddy brandished the hi-tech phone that they'd filmed the boy and Big Frank on. "I've the woman on the blower. She's to talk to the kid."
Cormac flapped his hand at the boy. Paddy walked past the father to hand over the mobile. The boy took a deep breath before speaking.
"Hello…? Yeah, it's Mattie, Mum." He screwed up his face. "I'm fine." Then he glanced at his father, his young face hardened. "Yeah, he's okay too."
Paddy snatched the phone away from Mattie's ear and pressed it to his own. "Right, that's all you get for now, missus." He disconnected the call.
Cormac nipped across the room to cut the departing Paddy off at the door.
"Lend us the mobile for a bit, will you?"
Paddy gave Cormac one of his watery-eyed looks. His nose twitched visibly under his ski mask. "What for?"
"I'm bored shitless here. Wouldn't mind a wee tinker on it to pass the time."
"You going to call one of them dodgy numbers, big lad? Heavy breathing and all that?"
"Fuck off. I'll just piss about on the apps or something."
"What are apps?"
Cormac shook his head. "Can I have it or not?"
Paddy shrugged and handed over the touch-screen phone. "Whatever. Just don't get too distracted, all right? You're meant to be working."
"No sweat, boss."
Paddy puffed his chest and his considerable man-boobs strained the front of his black cotton shirt. Suitably inflated by an ounce of respect, he gave Cormac a curt nod and waddled out.
Cormac turned his back to the family, gave the phone a quick once over, then flipped open a tiny flap on the side of the casing. He took a miniscule memory card from the watch pocket of his jeans and slipped it into the slot. A few taps of the screen later and he had the video of Big Frank threatening Mattie on the card. He ejected his little piece of evidence and tucked it back into his watch pocket.
A present for his handler.



 Paperback UK and US

Ebook

Wednesday, 1 October 2014

UNDERCOVER Paperback (and some tl;dr economics)



Okay, people. It's here.

The one question I constantly get asked about my books is, "Where can I buy the paperback?" If you're a local (local to me, at least, or within a reasonable drive to Belfast), the answer is easy. No Alibis Bookstore, all day long.

Here's the thing, though. Most of the people who ask me, don't go to bookshops. Usually they're just asking me out of politeness.

Now, I've worked with (and had a publisher or two work on my behalf with) the larger chain stores. They're not even entirely massive chains, but once you start introducing managers and people who work with spreadsheets and guys with calculators glued to their hands (not a criticism -- some of these people could lose their job without that stupid digital abacus), then things get complicated. And I have a complicated enough life. I'll not chase down some accounts payable keyboard monkey to claim the 50p I'm owed for the one title of mine they sold some time last year.

So, as magical as it is to walk into a random shop and see that my title has been stocked without me having to stalk half of the store's workforce, I'm not going down that avenue with UNDERCOVER.

Here's what I'll do instead:

I'm going to ask No Alibis to carry a small number of copies of UNDERCOVER for me (and hope that Dave is cool with this). And that's it. If you don't want to deal with Amazon (a word I don't use in independent bookstores for many of the same reasons that I don't drop C-bombs in chapels or churches), you have to deal with No Alibis. This will happen in October(ish). I haven't decided whether or not to sort out an official launch yet. I've a feeling the No Alibis BELFAST NOIR launch (date to be confirmed) will be adequate. But we'll see.

The other thing I'm going to do, is purposely make the book more expensive to buy via CreateSpace/Amazon. It'll be set at a 9.99 RRP. No Alibis will sell SIGNED copies a little cheaper.

But here's the thing. Just to get things moving a little, I'm going to allow it to sell at £8.99 for a few days. So, if you want a slightly cheaper copy... go here today and pick it up.

This isn't any grand marketing scheme or a well thought out financial tactic. I simply priced it incorrectly by mistake when I set up the Amazon page. Take advantage of my hamfisted generosity.

All the above applies to copies sold in the UK, I should say. I'm not great with conversion rates and whatnot, so if the price of the paperback version of UNDERCOVER looks particularly inflated in your territory, let me know. Chances are my deficit in knowledge of global economics is to blame. Also, if it's worth my while and not a fucking rigmarole, I'll try to work something out for book festivals, but if you want me to start printing off invoices and all that shite just so you can not pay me for over a year, don't expect me to waste my paper or ink.

Links for purchase of UNDERCOVER:

UK
US
CA (link currently unavailable)

The rest of you, use Google. If that seems dismissive to you, please feel free to let me know, but to the best of my knowledge my books only really get noticed in the above territories.

Things you should know before you part with your hard-earned cash:

The cover is gorgeous
The book feels nice in your hands
It's been edited and proofread to within an inch of its life
It's been typeset by somebody who knows what they're doing
I wrote it

4/5 ain't bad.

Did that all sound a bit grumpy? I've not allowed myself a weekend off in a while. Blame it on that.

Sunday, 7 September 2014

Kindle Pre-order Link for Undercover



Buy now for only £0.85 | $0.99

RRP: £2.99/$3.99

When undercover detective Cormac Kelly infiltrates a ruthless gang bent on kidnapping and extortion, he is forced to break cover and shoot his way out of a hostage situation gone bad.

Tearing through the dangerous streets of Belfast with a twelve-year-old boy and his seriously injured father in tow, Kelly desperately tries to evade the gang and reconnect the family with the boy’s mother, football agent Lydia Gallagher. But she is in London, unaware of their freedom and being forced by the gang to betray her top client.

As Kelly breaks every rule in the book and crosses the line from legit police officer to rogue cop on the run, the role of dapper but deadly ex-spook Stephen Black means the difference between life and death…
Price will revert to RRP (£2.99/$3.99) on publication day (25th September 2014)