UK Debt

So, we’ve now lost our “coveted” AAA rating. About time too. Why? What with all the CUTS? Surely our debt must be going down, yes? Those poor teachers having to teach sitting in a hole in the ground, the hospitals A&E wards closing, hundreds of thousands of lesbian outreach co-ordinators being sacked*, council services such as bin collections now being on a “can I be arsed” basis?

Little bit here, guys. The DEFICIT is the rate of increase in debt, not the total amount of debt. Or even repaying some of it. Oh no.

Anyway, what are their plans exactly? Nope, I can’t think of any, can you?

So, how goes the DEFICIT… Must be flat, surely, or coming down a bit.

Oops. Nope. It’s going up and up and up and up. And this is per month.

I wish there were some cuts.

Really!

 

 

*er, no. We have more of them. They are core services.

“Tax everything!” The French say.

For God’s sake.

The above comes from The Register who report that the deranged French socialists want to tax internet providers for hosting “data” by which they mean stuff like photos and facebook status updates.

Is there nothing these mental lefties won’t do? They’re already busy getting rid of all the money earners in their country by trying to tax them to death, and now they want to tax their own citizens to death for using facebook. Oh, but it is facebook who will pay the tax, they cry. Will they fuck.

Do these politicians ever question their own sanity? I know I fucking do!

More and More tax….

The wondrous government that nobody voted for has decided the create a minumum state pension.

This means that I, and millions of me, will have to pay EVEN MORE for scrounging bastards who have paid bog all or nothing.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/personalfinance/pensions/9797129/Millions-face-tax-rise-in-pensions-shake-up.html

Lovely.

So that’s around £600 a year more in tax I will have to pay. Where is it coming from, I wonder?

Bastards!

So, what shall I cut down on?

• Food
• Heating
• Visiting the girls
• Presents

Perhaps Camer-mong will like to let me know. I’ve got fuck all to live on for the next two weeks. Thanks to this extra tax for the indolent, I will have 2.5 weeks of bugger all?

The tefal-faced potato wanker!

Olympics : A Complete Farce

I mean, you just cannot make this stuff up:

To be honest, you can’t really blame the Unions really. I mean, they have London over a proverbial 2012 Gold-plated barrel and are busy rubbing Vaseline all over their cocks….

But you have to wonder exactly what the visitors will think, assuming they actually get into the country!

• Immense queues and immigration, with 1 desk open and staffed by a blind spastic with a severe hatred of foreigners, and work.
• Crippled transportation links, with strikes and signal failures galore. Bus drivers who don’t know where they are going, and Zil lanes stopping the traffic moving.
• Death and disorder with the police, ambulance and fire services unable to get anywhere because of the ZIl lanes.
• Non English-speaking security guards provided by G4S, the people who are favourites to have police outsourcing contracts awarded to them from the ever impartial Tom Fucking Watson.
• Not being able to buy anything on-site with anything other than a bloody Visa card.
• And don’t forget chips.
• Constant pissing rain.

Is this what you and I are going to have to pay tens of billions of pounds for?

It’s a national fucking disgrace!!!!!

Tax Avoidance – So what?

So, a certain Mr Carr has been “caught” “avoiding” tax, has he? Well, there’s absolutely NOTHING ILLEGAL about that at all. If you’ve got an ISA then YOU are avoiding tax. Got a season ticket loan? Then YOU are avoiding tax.

So shut up. Seriously, just shut up!!!

And anyway, why the hell would you actually want to pay tax? Have you seen what the wonderful government is doing with all YOUR hard earned money? Exactly.

Ok, you are a mental leftie. “Paying tax is a good idea as it helps injured badgers and lesbian rapists” you say. So, are you going to send HMRC a cheque for another £5,000 out of your already taxed income? (Assuming you actually have a job, that is). No? Why? Are you a racist hate-monger or something? If paying tax is good, why not work for nothing and pay 100% tax? Surely that is the best place to be, yes? Oh, I see. You are a twat. Sorry, didn’t see _that_ one coming, did I?

I am paying more tax than my girlfriend earns in a year before tax. I mean. God almighty.

I’d love to pay fuck all tax. Seriously. All the government does with it is to pay sponging lazy bastards, give to India so they can paint their own spaceships a different shade of orange or something, or give to asylum seekers so they can get a new council house and plot to blow up you and me. Oh, and don’t forget the teenage girls who pop one out just to get a house.

What gives these chavs the “right” to be housed at my expense?

Have you seen them?

Really?

(That’s two houses you are paying for… plus alcopop and fag allowances….)

 

Such a wonderful product of the “education” system that I’m funding. Most of them couldn’t even write their own names in crayon by the time they leave school. Unless, of course, their name was “X”.

And the government wants 50%+ of them to go to university? WTF is all this about? Going to university to study Nail Technology or Vajazzling? Eh? And in the name of “equality” there’s now Pejazzling also.

I think they all need a serious bit of kicking them up the arse.

I’m having to scrimp and save like mental to get the rent money – and more so since Clare and I have found a lovely flat just up the road to move into at some time in the next month or so.

Moah Quantitative Easing

You know the QE? Easing it out like doing a lovely relaxing poo that just plops out without leaving any 14 sheets of loo roll to wipe off your buthole?

Unlike the Quantitative Bastard which is like pooing out lego bricks wrapped in razors. Those are not nice. Takes 2 loo rolls in their entirety to sort out all the mess, and then the damned bog doesn’t flush and you have to run away and pretend it wasn’t you?

Here’s something to ponder:

I don’t really like Twitter but this dude, whoever he happens to be, is right on the money.

EU Bailout (yes, again)

The Greeks default – yes, they have. Loads of money for bailing them out. A 50% “voluntary” haircut for private bond holders (such as Greek pension funds….) and this still doesn’t trigger a CDS event? Fuck me.

Anyway, with possible cut in their debt, followed up with a >E100bn loan from the IMF, the Greek economy is still now even more woefully fucked that before. And that’s saying something.

Meanwhile, behind the scenes we have this….

Bollocks

Give us your money within 7 days. You can’t sue us or anybody working for us. We can sue you.

How much longer until we rise up and leave this piece of shit dictatorship????

The Human Rights Act

What a load of old shite.

Maybe it has some good intentions, but then, as the man said, the road to hell is paved with those.

Although the papers and the insane carpet-chewing leftie media are going mental about something some lying bastard said about a cat at some group-wank…. the point remains that criminals are seriously taking the piss over this law. Tried to bomb Londoners? Nah. Paeodophiles? Rapists? Illegal scumbags grabbing their share of the leftie money that grows on fucking trees? Nah.

From a complete layman’s point of view, think of it this way. Who is getting seriously fucked over here? The VICTIM? The VICTIM who fights back against the criminals?

Or the POOR SAD CRIMINAL who didn’t really mean to rape, pillage and shite over everything, and now can’t be deported back to the shitty little country he came from because he might get, shock horror, into TROUBLE!

FFS

Let’s give the CRIMINAL compensation, and let the VICTIM suffer. Hell, prosecute the VICTIM. For daring to defend himself.

The Deluded are on Strike!

Good, let them keep striking. We don’t need them. They need to learn that they’ve had it too good for too long, funded by a vote-buying, corrupt, debt-wanking Labour government who have pissed so much money up the wall that there simply isn’t any left. And the wall is now all covered in piss stains too.

They raided our private pensions (and are set to do so again) to pay for their cattle’s votes, so now it is high time the public sector felt the pain too.

So go on, stay on strike. I dare you!

 

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/a-guide-to-strike-etiquette-201106304015/

A good article above from the Daily Mash people.

And a great money quote:

“If the striker continues to insist that you should pay for his pension and that he should retire five years earlier than you, always say ‘Pardon me?’ rather than ‘Huh?’, ‘Come again?’ or ‘What in the name of shitting fuck are you talking about you delusional, self-serving piss-bucket?’

Public Sector Strikes

Ok, here’s my main rant of the weekend.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCC!!!!!!!!

I mean.

Ok, the public sector in certain circumstances may be the best model to deliver a service the customers want and are prepared to pay for: Fire, Police, Army etc.

• Not education.
• Not health.
• Not armies of fucking 1 armed lesbian climate change outreach co-ordinators.
• Not social services. Definitely not those. Ask Baby P. How well did that work out?

The private sector can provide what people are prepared to pay for. Not forced to pay for. There is a big fucking difference. When did you last go into a supermarket and get cornered by a bearded disabled dwarf lesbian co-ordinator who told you that you were going to fucking well buy 20 large marrows and all the durex lube for £1000 or go to jail?

When was the last time somebody came to your door and said “Would you like to pay for 25 climate change outreach workers?” or “A bunch of idiots down the street are bored and about to kill an old man with a metal pole unless we give in and give them a skating park, would you like to donate £150 or would you like to go to jail?” Did you get asked whether you’d like them taken off the street and thrown into jail? No, the criminals are the victims now. You ponce.

Because that’s all tax is. Lawful theft using force. Don’t pay your council tax, go to jail. Do not pass go. Unless, of course, you are some sort of asylum seeker on benefits. Yes, bring them in. Please culturally enrich my ass.

And then we come to benefits.

Who pays for that?

The public sector?

Do they fuck.

Where does the income that the public sector enjoy come from? Gordon Brown’s hairy arse? Cameron’s minge? Cleggs, well, dangleberries? No, it fucking well comes from the part of the economy that generates wealth. Not the parasitical side. That’s the sad bastards in the private sector who can’t go on fucking strike because they know they’d lose their jobs.

If I were in “powah”, anybody who goes on strike gets fired. No ifs, no buts. If you think your job is so shit that you need to go on strike, then go get another bloody one. I’m sure that person would swap with you.

So I say to all those public sector workers who are outraged at having to live in the real world now that the money has run out, go on strike. For ever. Nobody will miss you. And if they do, then you can come back and get paid more. Because you are delivering a service the paying public are prepared to pay for. The rest, go fuck yourselves.

And have you seen the s-i-z-e of the UNFUNDED public sector pension liabilities? I bet you fucking haven’t a clue. You thought Madoff was a ponzi bastard. You ain’t seen nothing yet.

There is a shitstorm coming. I hope you have good shelter.

Greece Lightning (the White sort)

Well, everybody in Greece should be downing copious quantities of White Lightning cheapo cider. They are well and truly fucked into a bucket.

Why?

Markets are demanding 25% interest on 2 year bond purchases. Fucking hell.

Full story sort of here

Ireland and Portugal are next.

Followed by Spain, Italy and us idiots in the UK where the borrowing still rises and there are no cuts whatsoever to government spending.

Actually, why are we:

• Sending billions to India from the overseas development fund?
• Giving the EU more money?
• Fucking chickens?

It’s New Year!

Yay! I’ve been going for 4 years! God, that’s depressing. I’ve made major inroads into the Blogo-sphere-thing. I have at least a, um, 2 or 3 regular readers. However, none of them actually leave any comments. That and the 20 million people who seem to know me but all live in Nigeria and want to give me 5 MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS, all in capitals, so it must be real.

Arse.

Anyway, here are my NYPs:

1) Another Euro panic, with the EU trying to grab even more power. No country will leave the EURO but the UK will meekly borrow more money we don’t have in order to prop up profligate socialist paradises….

2) Ireland elect a new government who will slavishly follow what the last lot of useless gobshites signed up to re ECB/IMF,

3) “Climate Change” continues, with more fucking twat taxes hiked up on the meek UK public. Nobody notices. 2011 winter starts earlier and even more snow.

4) EU carbon policies close more UK power stations. Pensioners freeze to death in the thousands as the windmills don’t work. Nobody cares.

5) Vince Cable gets eviscerated by crack whores.

6) The average price of a UK train ticket per mile now exceeds the cost of going to the moon. Daily Mail explodes.

7) Students riot over nothing they understand and are viciously Kettled by the police again. Student Union raises “enforced cleanliness” as a human rights abuse at European Court. Union Rep not allowed in to present case due to infringing EU directive of armpit stink. A sole student realises than crapping on important British monuments isn’t the best way to raise public sympathy for the cause, shortly before being bludgeoned to death for showing free will and independent thinking. Daily Mail is happy.

8) UK interest rates raised to 5% by August. Nobody joins dots between QE and hugely inflated import prices.

9) Daily Mail explodes over Swine Flu imported by Filthy Foreigners on Benefits.

10) Coalition collapses following discovery of Vince Cable’s eviscerated body and Ian Duncan Smith’s DNA all over the place.

11) EU Power Grab doesn’t force a referendum. Immigration causes Daily Mail to appoint Achmed Al-Alababilibil as new editor. Daily Mail calls for Sharia law.

12) Everything goes to hell in a handcart. Nobody cares. As they have all frozen to death from not being able to afford 900% unilateral increase in energy prices to fight “Climate Change”

13) Chris Hune ends up in last remaining Mental Asylum, shortly before it is closed and turned into a Mosque.

Get your rocks off! For Free!

Ok then, how would you like to go on an exotic holiday? For free? Yes, sure you would be thinking I am now just a spam site or something.

Ok, let’s try something more unbelievable…

Free sex? And lap-dancing in Amsterdam? For free?

Yes. Ok, not for us normal people. You have to be one of the little band of “disabled” people (of whom there are millions remember, you don’t get Incapacity Benefit just by telling the doc you feel a bit lazy and can he write you off as crippled for a bit, mate) who happen not to get be getting any.

According to this report some local councils are using our hard earned money to send a bunch of “clients” off to see some, ahem, ladies in Amsterdam.

Awww. Bless them.

We all know money is made from paper, and paper comes from trees, and trees grow; therefore in their demented logic money also grows on trees and is therefore abundant.

There there’s this:

In the course of 12 months, one man with mental health problems from Norwich received a holiday in Tunisia, a subscription to an internet dating site, driving lessons, and expensive art materials.

And poor mentally ill man. Must has been traumatic whatever caused him to go bonkers and start chewing the furniture, eh?

Ah

the man received the funding on top of his state benefits, after suffering from psychiatric problems when his wife asked for a divorce.

FFS!!!!

I’m going to bash my head into the fridge door again.

Council Tax : Pay less if a chav

Oh look, another bit of social buggeryaboutery from the Labour “Government”.

Council tax levy for being middle class: Labour plan to base bills on social background

So, not only are they busy fucking up the country by taking on enormous debts, they are now trying to cause even more social unrest by effectively saying “If you are middle class you probably vote for the Tories so we are going to right royally fuck you up by charging you more for fuck all local services, and get you to subsidise our core voters! Hahah!”

Shadow local government spokesman Caroline Spelman said: 'No one would dispute that council tax for a large detached house should be more than for a small terrace.

'But it is unfair to hit families with higher council tax bills purely because of who they are.

But then this Spelman woman is the same one caught paying her Nanny with taxpayers’ money. So ignore her.

Pay As You Throw Bin Taxes

Oh good. I hear that the government is to press ahead with the idea that the more rubbish you generate the more you have to pay in taxes. Of course, it's not us that generate the rubbish that we throw away. I don't believe I have a plastics manufacturing plant in my shed. I don't make tons of cardboard and those little twisty bits of metal that festoon barbie dolls.

No, we don't have a choice here. It comes as part of the item. Buy a bag of apples and you get a plastic bag thing. Buy some "Turkey Drumsticks" from a certain B Matthews and you get a little plastic tray, covered in plastic wrapping and a bit of cardboard.

Buy a flat-packed bit of furniture and you get more polystyrene bits than it would take to kill 2 dozen swans. I know. I've done it!

So let's come up with a way of ripping more bloody tax out of us, thinks the government. Ignore that Glasgow East drubbing we got in the election and where we said we'd listen. That was all a bunch of big hairy cocks. No, we're going to lose the next election so we will punnish the electorate before the event by taxing them to death. Haha. et cetera.

So we can see what will happen:

1) People will start dumping their rubbish in other people's bins.
2) Flytipping increases.
3) More rats and whatnot.
4) More council tax needed for pest control.
5) And bin inspectors.
6) Council starts fining people for putting their bins out too early / late / not aligned at a 34.55 degree angle to the nearest lamppost.
7) Council tax receipts fall as people start hanging politicians from lampposts and refusing to pay.
8) All murderers and rapists released from prison to accommodate the people not paying council tax. Murderers and rapists move into your home and smash everything up.
10) There is no nine.

Something like that. Of course, once the revenue stream for bin taxes is maximised then the shitty little politicians will go for something else. A pay as you dump tax instead. Just think, hundreds of Poo Inspectors riffling through your turds to discover whether you've had your 5 a day vegetables. "Oooh look, Mr Smith of 25 The Avenue hasn't eaten enough sweetcorn today. Ooooh! That's a £50 fine!"

Air Taxes

In April (yes, I know this rant is a bit delayed), I booked flights to Florida in November for a "holiday of a lifetime" for my wife (who is turning 40) and my 2 lovely daughters.

Nothing wrong with that.

Not until you see the huge amount of tax being paid to useless leftist scummy goverments, supposedly for "green" issues. Green as in they're green with envy that somebody has the fortune of earning money to spend as they wish, but not as the leftie scum want.

So look here at the confirmation thingy:

Tickets: £812
Taxes for leftie scum government: £846
Total: £1658



Anybody see anything even slightly unfair here?
AND, just looking at the website again, the price is about £140 higher than when we purchased originally.

Council Tax Rises

Oh good. Our annual tax hike and crap service letter has arrived. Hmm, let's read it. Er, no. Let's not. There are too many pamphlets here. Glossy colour jobs. Must have spend a fair bit on them. Perhaps next year they don't do this and can reduce the amount of money they waste. On a tangent, they also send out a quarterly bollocks newsletter 
(colour, of course) telling everybody nothing whatsoever.
Ends up in the bin after 2.1 seconds of thought.

Skipping to the important facts, the council tax has gone up 4.6% this year to a whopping £1,716 and twenty four bloody pence. Utterly unbelievable. Why not just say £1,716.00? FFS. Stuff the 24p up your arse.

Oh look! The amount paid for the "police service" we get has gone up 5%. Why? Who knows! You never see them. Our local police station is only open for a handful of hours a week - and there's probably nobody there - just open up and let the place be ransacked. Who gives a crap. Even our criminals in our little town know this. I suspect most of the crime is done when the copshop is shut. Doh!

So, what do we get for our £1,716.24 a year? Hmm.

1. Bin collections. Oh, they've just halved them. Oh well, no doubt to save money. But wait! The bi-weekly collections are actually MORE expensive. Doh! Stand by for the increases due to hiring hundreds of rat catchers!
   
2. Schools. Leftie indoctrination doesn't come cheap. At least they get free copies of "An Inconvenient Truth", that fictional pile of crud by the failed presidential candidate "Al Gore" who, for some reason, criticises the badness of carbons but jets around the globe like some festering twat.
3. Outreach workers. You can't have enough of them.
4. Diversity Co-ordinators. It must be so soul destroying to have a job title like that.
5. Splurging the remaining money on unneeded road resurfacing in February and March. As you all know, the local government year ends in April so the twats at your local council will spend all the remaining cash on stupid rubbish so that central government doesn't penalise them for coming in under their budget. Just like they are trying to do with schools that end the year with a surplus.
6. Street lighting. Er. Wow.

For some reason, our council having the responsibility of all of these exciting 6 things need to have dozens of prominent buildings in the centre of town. All refurbished and with free tea, coffee and bloody prostitutes for all I know. Talking for prostitutes, there's a very strong similarity between them and us. We're being totally f*cked and there's nothing we can do about it.

The Budget

First of all I would like to say that I have been soo very very aaaaangry recently I have been hospitalised. Actually, my wife locked me in the shed and said that if I didn't calm down she's Bobbit me. Never knew she liked Lord of the Rings.

Ho hum.

Anyways. The Budget. That time of year when a lying bag of crap talks bollocks for about 50 minutes and all decent working people end up coughing up even more of their hard earned cash to sponging scum.

And a chancellor called "Darling". I mean, come on. Is this a Blackadder episode? You seriously cannot report about somebody called Darling without snarling and snearing. Well, I can't.

And what's with this guys hair? Can't he even colour-co-ordinate his eyebrows to his hair? White hair and black eyebrows? What is he, a bloody badger? Apologies if you are eating, but what colour are his pubes? Really sorry. But I had to ask. If you do know, please, for God's sake, keep it to yourself.

So, headlines from the budget:

1. If you are working and not a sponging scum, then more money to be given to sponging scum.
   
2. Old and decrepit? Here's an extra £50 a year fuel allowance. Oh, don't worry about the fact that we've removed the 10% income tax level and you'll now start paying tax at 20%. Oh, and the fuel duty and the fact that oil is now $109 a barrel. Hahah. You'll all be dead!
   
3. Mustn't mention the £100,000,000,000 (that's £100 billion) we pissed up the wall on the Northern Rock. Gotta save our northern Labour voters.
4. We'll just borrow a few more billions to balance the books. After all, credit is safe. There isn't a credit crisis.
5. We forecast that... blah blah bollocks we can. Just look at this table:

Holey shitbags, batman!! They were estimating 4 billion in 2003/4 and ended up with 35.4 billion. If I were that inaccurate at my job I'd be saying "Would you like fries with that?" faster than you can say Sub Prime. And they are estimating 20 Billion for 2007/8. So, with the monumental bollocks previously done this is likely to be £175 Billion.

Time to buy gold.

Oh, but Brown sold all of our gold for around $250 an ounce. What's today's price? Oh yes, just over $1,000. Nice.

As my very good and also very angry fellow blogger, Devil's Kitchen, would say, "Hang them! Hang them all!"

1.