Plants

Just spent an hour moving room to room watering plants and updating their progress on the “Planta” app....it took longer than I expected but I feel like a good plant mom. Now onto the next task for the day after laying around doing nothing for more than a week already.

Wordless Wednesday

Before each basketball game each side says a prayer out loud.

Sunday Snapshots

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Wordless Wednesday

Poor Build A Bear she keeps destroying them..she's 11?

Ten on Tuesday

1. It was 80 degrees a few days ago and today is 45 degrees
2. I haven't cooked dinner since August, on my nights to cook I've just bought in salad, I think my families about ready to kill me, but it will be a healthy death
3. I still haven't put up my Halloween or fall decorations at this point I doubt I will
4. I've been following Lose it with Molly on instagram she tries to stick around 1000 - 1200 calories a day and tries to NOT snack, let see how long I can last.
5. I'm still addicted to YouTube and rarely watch regular TV
6. I'm starting to pull back socially with work and friends, not sure what it is but it feels like it's the right season to reassess somethings.
7. I found a really cool technique that I'm going to try for disobedient 11 year old. When you ask them to do something and they don't do it properly have them repeat the task over and over.
8. My house is a total mess as I'm taking an extended vacation from cleaning up after my daughter and husband. My OCD is a wreck but I now have so much more free time on my hands
9. I went to the gym for the first time in months yesterday and followed a workout from Fitness Blender on YouTube I felt like an idiot doing the moves in the in middle of the gym but whatever!
10. I had a dream a few days ago that something really big happens on June 16th. I put a note in my calendar for June 16th 2018 and asked myself "Did anything special happen today!"

Ten on Tuesday

1. Fall on a chalkboard is comforting
   
2. The year moves by faster the older you get, it's literally moving so fast.
3. Netflix now allows you to download a movie to watch later on the go. So glad they finally got on board
4. A womans instincts are never wrong but sometimes I question mine.
5. It doesn't matter how long I've had a friend they seem to never fully understand my phobia of answering the phone.
6. My In Laws just came back from Australia for the second time, what I wouldn't give to go. 18hrs flying and no laundry!
7. My Uncle In Law is about to go to Cuba, I should hurry up and go in case the rumor is right that the new president might shut it down.
8. I'm reading (and listening) the book "Crazy Rich Asians" its so funny though the title sounds a little stereotypical! 
9. "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."" - Thomas A Edison - LOVE THIS!
10. We're doing Gingerbread Houses this weekend, I wonder when her interest will decrease in such traditional activities, she's already aged out of Easter Egg hunts

Giving back to me

As I sit addicted to youtube watching other peoples lives go by I realize I want to capture more, more of the every day the mundane, the nuances that make up my life.

I'm not sure why, in my mind I picture my family reading it when I'm gone, figuring out who their grandmother and great grandmother was back in the day.

All I have are photo's of my grandmother and great grandmother, I don't know who they are, I only have stories and pictures and if I don't write down the stories I hear they all start to fade.

So here I am just trying to document snippets of my life. This morning I took this picture of Baby C ready for school, eating Honey Nut Cherrios watching the cartoon network channel.

It doesn't say much but the picture speaks volumes to me, as I know the night before she went to bed crying, because we were upset or mad at her. Upset because she's a child and wants to take her sweet ass time doing what she wants to do and not leaving enough time to take care of her chores which we end up doing.

This picture here represents her happy the next morning. Happy because she got up when her "first" alarm went off. She did a few of her chores, and made sure her backback, hat and coat were by the door ready BEFORE she sat down to watch tv. She then proudly asked me "Mommy are you still mad at me?" I replied "Of course I'm not mad, you redeemed yourself and took care of what you needed to take care"

This picture here represents a child who often reminds me that my opinion of her does matter to her. My feelings do matter to her, and that makes me happy.

I'm figuring everyone made a turkey pot pie with their left over turkey right? And they made home made ham pizzas with their left over ham right? I'm laughing at this in my head. I'm a little tired of turkey and ham at this point and yet Christmas is right around the corner. I'm thinking cornish hens or something different is in order, but I guess we'll see.

I helped a friend out for her daughters 13th birthday party...leopard and teal were the colors. She wanted to me to shop, set it all up and charge her. I love doing this kind of thing but I do not like the money aspect of it. I mean how do you charge someone for something like this, and especially a friend. It makes me feel uncomfortable, makes me not want to do it any more. But the place turned out very nice so I was happy.

I finally started scrapbooking again and managed to finish two pages. I'm trying to give more time back to myself and trying to say "Yes" less to volunteering for things that pull me away from my family and my home. I'd like to find volunteer work that I could do "with" my family. My tolerance for people and things is becoming less, I feel myself just wanting to pull back a little more from everything.

Wordless Wednesday

Waiting on the school bus this morning where did the time go. She said she wished she could time travel "I would go back to when Martin Luther King Jr. was alive, I'd go back so I could meet daddy's mommy and I'd go back to the Ford Theatre and see President Abraham Lincoln before he got shot, I wouldn't change anything as when you change time you change history"
~ Coutrier

Random Thoughts

We took our Texas friends to
The Statue of Liberty

I hate it when one tiny thing throws me off course.

I'm not sure what threw me off my course this week but I haven't been able to catch up.

I told a co worker I feel as if I'm running after a train and the train is moving very slowly but I simply can't seem to run fast enough to catch up and get on....and I really want to get on the train.

I feel as if I can relax if I get on the train.

I feel as if I've been off since Thanksgiving...

Ahh it just came to me, my college friend  from Texas came to visit Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

I took the day off on Thursday and Friday and I've never been right since and off course before she came as I was running around prepping.

I always thought my house was neat but then I realized it's in bad need of dusting and scrubbing of the walls. I hate that part, I think I need to hire someone.

Since Thanksgiving I haven't been doing my minimum 10K steps on my fitbit either and that has really got me off balance.

I got the fitbit in October for my birthday, my mother sent me money and said "Use it wisely!" So I did.

I can't seem to do anything consistently for 30 days. They say after 30 days (or is it 3 months) that something that you're tying to make a routine will finally stick.

I don't seem to make it the 30 days on anything but I felt I was doing well with the fitbit. I was totally addicted to every challenge that I was invited to...and then Thanksgiving came and well you know.

We introduced them to
Shake Shack

I'm a schedule person...I like to follow a schedule and when I fall off it's just so hard for me... I have every excuse..."Oh it's Wednesday, I'll start back Monday" ...

I realize I need to make every day a Monday in my head. Remember that god doesn't promise you tomorrow ONLY the present.

I know that if I made every day a Monday and did just one thing a day on my "To Do List" then I wouldn't end up with 20 things a day on my "To Do List".

I feel very uncomfortable today as if my pants are too short and my ankles are bare. My pants feel too tight in the thighs and I feel as if I just want to go home and change my clothes and it's taking a hold over my mood,...if that makes any sense.

When I found outfits on Pinterest to copy I feel more confident and less blah...I seem to pick out for myself the blah outfits and pinterest inspires me to be less blah....

I didn't meal prep for December at all due to Thanksgiving and then I never jumped back on due to my college friends visit and now my excuse is "But we're almost done with December"

I just took a nice leisurely stroll outside and the weather is beautiful and I told myself as I walked that today is the day, don't wait for Monday or January...make your change today. Don't let other forces or other people steer you away from doing what you KNOW to be right.

We couldn't let them leave
with out the beach!

In my head I'm talking about my husband. He's diabetic and I try to meal prep with him in mind. But yet when he cooks he seems to steer towards the opposite. I sometimes wonder if he feels he can cheat on meals when he cooks as he knows he'll make up for it when I cook.

I ordered pizza every Tuesday in November when it was my night to cook as I got so disenchanted with making diabetic meal choice efforts that I was putting forth and him not appreciating it or not even eating it.

But during my walk today I realized I need to make the choices because I know it's right or because it's what I want to eat.

I shouldn't stop just because of whatever reason I conceive or rational or because I'm mad.

I feel as if this blog post ramble is an early new years resolution or something...

And while I'm at it, I need to stop messing with gluten as I know it doesn't agree with me and I don't need to wait for a doctor to tell me so.

hmmm 10k fitbit steps I'm coming for you today.....

Wordless Wednesday

Ramble .... Oprah style....

I started to read the Oprah magazine last night and I always love the little segment that appears at the beginning where the same random questions are asked to all of the contributors for that issue.

I always try to answer the questions myself.


My favorite healthy snack is.....

Cucumber sandwiches. But not the kind where you use bread and cucumber is IN the sandwich but rather the type where by the cucumber replaces the bread. So I have mini round ham and cheese cucumber circles sitting upon my plate.

I feel my best when.....

Of course like most I feel my best when I've won the battle of getting up early and getting on the treadmill in the morning before anyone in the house is awake. At that time I can just run/walk with no pants on and merely a t-shirt and not worry about the glaring looks from Baby C who still hasn't figured out "where she came from". I also feel my best when I have an overwhelming sense of peace. When a majority of the little pressing "to do" items that linger in my head are complete and I can move on to the next list of "to do" items. You know that feeling you get when the bills are paid, the last t-shirt has been folded and the laundry is complete and even Sunday dinner is in the oven.

The one unhealthy indulgence I can't give up is.....

British Chocolate digestive biscuits. I think even if the label read "May cause cancer" i'd need to get a second opinion. I can literally sit and eat at least half a packet.

The strangest thing I've done in the name of wellness was......

Tried my luck at a spin class. Not sure how I made it to the end. Probably because the room was dark and I was scared I'd trip over something if I decided to quit mid way and make a bee line for the door. But when I was done, I swore I'd broken something. My rear end was just TOO big for those tiny, pointy seats. I remember it hurt to walk and sit for days. Everyone said it would wear off the more I went...I never went back.

Wordless Wednesday

Sometimes they make you smile......

Normally when Baby C is asked to write about someone that makes her laugh or someone she admires she NEVER picks me...sometimes I'm a little bummed but this time I was so proud of her she made me smile from ear to ear and nearly shed a tear.

She had to write about someone that she admires and she wrote about a boy in her class...a boy who his father jokingly constantly asks Baby C to watch over as he's 100% boy and constantly getting himself into trouble. Baby C acts like his mother when they're in school constantly telling him what to do and what NOT to do.

This is what she wrote about him....

Worst Mother in the World

I hate that overwhelmed feeling where in an instance you're compelled to pull out a piece of paper and start making a "To Do" list in order to get your life back on track.

Life truly doesn't give you a day off, it just keeps churning and churning with not a seconds break.

Sometimes you just feel the need to check out for a while, even if everything will be there when you get back.

I still need to order a birthday cake for school, and a cake for her actual birthday party.

I'd like to say "We" need to order it, but if I just sit and wait with my hands neatly crossed behind my head waiting patiently for someone else to do it....it won't ever get mentioned let alone done.

Women are tough cookies....we take on so much responsibility....even things we simply don't even want to be responsible for.

On my drive to work this morning I had an entire RANT session in my head.

Not one word uttered into existence!!!

No way for any husband or child to even get offended as it stayed trapped and confined in my head, I just spilled out all the things that need to get done and how frustrated I am that I know I'll be the one responsible for doing it all.

When the rant was over, (or rather once I'd arrived at work), I felt mildly better and relieved that no one got hurt or mad.

And I realize now, as I type, the day will just continue like the rest of the days, and all the things spilled out during my internal rant will still need doing.

That's just life.

.......... Baby C came home with a 2 on an Interim Assessment, I was majorly heated.

I know I need to calm my nerves as I'm always upset when she comes home with anything less than a 4.

It's not like I want to be intentionally hard on her, but I never want to her too get comfortable, I always want her to strive for HER best. Not THE best...I don't want her to mentally collapse while constantly comparing herself to others.

But I never want her to take school and grades or even life for granted.

Yes the Interim Assessment was for the level above her grade but that still doesn't make it ok in my mind.

She stopped highlighting mid way through the reading passage, as if she just got lazy or gave up or figured that the essence of highlighting, that her teacher has been pressing all year, just wasn't for her and that she in her infinite wisdom would find an easier way to complete the test.

I don't like "short cuts" that have been proven to NOT work and I don't like sneaky children both of which she's completely aware of.

She started to cry when she heard the disappointment in my voice and began to throw herself on the floor as she exclaimed "Are you going to make me do it again.....no one else has to do it again, it's a hard test, it's for 4th graders i'm only in 3rd grade.........!!!!! and on and on she went"

As her body slipped closer and closer to the ground, all I heard was "Wah wah wah"

All I could think about was "At least she knows by now that YES I will scan the test and erase all the answers and YES I will make her do it again."

But she also knows that I will NOT make her do it while I hold an iron fist over her head...I will sit calmly with her as she reads the passage and highlights the entire thing...I will sit and watch and assess which areas she might be having difficulties in or determine if in fact she merely gave up?

It's one of those moments that you remember from childhood, those moments where you believed your mother was the WORST mother in the world and that there was NO WAY ON EARTH you were ever going to thank her later in life for this.

But I know as a mother that it WILL help her later in life, later next year, later with her own kids, it will teach her to try her best in everything she does, to never be satisfied with mediocre, to never assume that if everyone else is doing it she can too, to take a moment to assess her weaknesses and figure out how to make them her strengths and to one day know that I'm not the WORST mother in the world I'm just striving to give her the BEST opportunities in this thing called life!

Life....the thing that never stops churning, and never takes a seconds break!

"As a small experiment of women’s uniqueness and the special bond between a mother and child, we met up with 6 wonderful women, and asked them to let us blindfold their most precious loved ones. Their children!"