I read this on this girl's blog and she got it from this guy's blog. A very powerful, personal story about adoption. Here is his story in his own words.
A Mistaken Gift
The woman awakens from a fitful slumber. She rolls out of bed and offers an empty prayer to her God. Her morning routine has been the same for a long time, except for a recently added aspect; she now tries to look beautiful. The woman starts the frosted car and after a quick thaw, she heads to the university. She walks briskly across campus through the crisp, cool air. There is a lightness to her step that is not normally present; the woman gets to see him today.
The man awakens, the last fleeting images of her gone with the incessant "buzz" of the alarm clock. The man has no God to pray to, so he starts coffee instead. Out the door he goes, idol God in hand, sipping the coffee to ward off the cold. Once at the university, the man waits impatiently for class to begin. Only one class, and then she will be there.
Every slow, agonizing tick of the clock is like a needle pricking away at her heart. She must see him soon, and so she shall. Class dismissed; off she goes. She reaches the classroom door, and her heart skips a beat. In she goes, and their eyes meet. A thousand things are said, yet not a word uttered. She sits. He stands. The class begins.
He enlightens the class with his knowledge. He enlightens her with his smile. The class learns more about music. She learns more about how much she loves him. The class ends, and all the students leave, minus one. Finally they are alone.
The man has another class to teach; the woman has another class to attend. They decide to meet later in the day and perhaps go out that evening. They part, she to learn, he to teach. Soon they are together again. They eat. They go to a movie. It begins to get late. They decide to go to his house and talk and have a cup of hot chocolate. Soon their lives will change. They make a mistake.
Shame. Embarrassment. Anger. Regret. These feelings plague her, and yet most potent of all is the feeling of being alone. She feels alone, but she is very much not alone. She has somebody with her every second of the day, a constant reminder of the mistake. This person grows inside of her, and is her constant companion. What will her family think? What will her children think? Perhaps most important of all, what does her God think?
His job. What will his colleagues think? Rage. How could he have been so careless? Damn her! No, not her. Damn her religion, and her false God who keeps them apart. Perhaps she doesn't have to follow through. Perhaps she can send it back to this "God" from whom it supposedly came. This would be an easy solution to all of his...their problems. No baby, no threat to his job. Simple as that. The man then realizes, with a sudden sense of sadness and shame, that he has truly fallen to a low level of humanity.
Every day she grows bigger. Every day they grow farther apart. Out of everything they have in common, they lack the most important thing; a shared religious belief. He begs her to terminate the pregnancy, and with a sick sense of hopelessness, she agrees to do so. Tomorrow is the day. Tomorrow it dies. tomorrow a piece of her dies as well. She lay in bed that night, writhing with inner torment. How can she go through with this? So much is on the line; his job, her dignity. but most important of all, a human life. Her eyes fill with tears. Her body is wracked with sobs. She decides to do something she knows she should have done in the beginning. She prays to her God, pleading for an answer. She knows what she plans is wrong, but she doesn't know what else to do. Suddenly, her sobbing stops. The most wonderful feeling she has ever experienced encompasses her. She feels as if an endless river of love is being poured upon her very soul. Her tears change to those of sheer joy. She sees a couple. They have a torment of their own, the torment of wanting something so desperately, yet being powerless to obtain it. Powerless, that is, without the help of another. Without her help. With a sudden sense of surety, she picks up the phone.
How can she do this to him? And yet, how could he ask that of her? With a reluctant sigh of defeat, he hangs up the phone. His career...over. Some of his friendships...ruined. His reputation...destroyed. But, with an odd sense of relief, which he doesn't understand, he feels that this is the right thing. For the first time in his life, he feels as if events are out of his control, out of man's control. For the first time, he feels there is a greater force at work. One he has no say over, nor understanding of. A new child will soon come into the world; a man's faith is born.
The woman holds the newborn in her arms. She is overwhelmed by sadness and joy all at once. She has no second thoughts. This is not her child. Though a mistake, what a blessing this child has become. She knows that she holds the answer to a man and woman's earnest hopes and prayers. She will change their lives, and the life of the child. She has saved this child from the sad fate of millions of children who are not wanted by some, but so desperately wanted by others. She gave the man and woman the gift of a child they so desperately wanted. But to the child, she gave the most precious gift of all. She gave me life.
