The best part of making cinnamon rolls....

licking the frosting off the beaters.

who needs a knife anyway?

Thinking...

I have been thinking today about Christmas, the Savior, Heavenly Father, adoption and birth mothers. Random, you say? I think not. The link is actually very easy to make.

First I want to mention this friend who got some horrid news yesterday regarding her baby. And this girl who isn't actually my friend, but my heart hurts for her just the same. Adoption is a beautiful thing. But it can also be hard, depressing, sad and very difficult.

Back to my thoughts. I have a very strong testimony of Jesus Christ. I know that is not always politically correct to say, but I do. I am grateful for the Christmas season when we are able to talk about Him more freely with people we may not usually feel comfortable with. He is the most selfless, perfect person ever to live.

Twice in my life I have been blessed to witness something that I can only describe as a miracle of complete selflessness. Each time our babies were placed in my arms by their birth mothers....wow. These two women were willing to put the needs of another (my babies) ahead of their own and do what Heavenly Father asked of them. Sound familiar? It was not easy. It hurt. Physically. Emotionally. Every way possible. They did it anyway. And that will not ever be forgotten in this house. We love them. We pray for them. We are so grateful for them. They gave us the most precious and wonderful gifts possible. They gave us the best part of our life. How do you say "thank you" for that?

One thing I have learned in this crazy road of adoption, is that it is NOT the "easy way out" for an unplanned pregnancy. Most people in that situation choose a different option. Parenting or abortion. As my friend, mrs. r, said "adoption is dying". Those women who choose to place their babies should be celebrated. They are giving that child life...twice.

Santa

We went to see Santa on Tuesday.

Eli was excited to tell him what he wanted.
Blake was not.

Lost and Found

Blake has been very grumpy the last few weeks. I compare him to a menopausal woman (no offense to actual menopausal women). He is moody and emotional. I never know how he will respond to anything. He is sleeping terribly. Not sure about hot flashes, but I wouldn't be surprised. The last week has been almost unbearable. Can I get an AMEN from anyone that has seen him lately. This is the look I have grown accustomed to-

Then last night, after dinner, we had a breakthrough. Blake was jumping up and down and laughing. This is what we saw -

Blanket has been missing for almost a week. If you haven't been formally introduced to Blanket, see here. I had the substitute blankets and thought Blake was fine. He never actually said anything about missing Blanket, but obviously it was very upsetting. I think he was in mourning over his good buddy.

Blake hasn't let go of Blanket since he found him (Eli actually found him under the couch). He ate ice cream with him, brushed his teeth with him and switched him between hands to put on jammies. He woke up crying last night, because he couldn't feel Blanket by him.

I almost have my happy little boy back. He still has something hormonal going on - or something 2 1/2 year old going on, whatever. But he is soooo much happier. So am I.

Blanket, I love you. We all missed you. I will never mock or disapprove again. You make my little boy happy. Please don't go away for this long again. I don't think I can take it.

Snowy Day

This is what I wanted to do on this cold, snowy day. I mean, really what's better than being cozied up on the couch with a squishy blanket watching Go Diego Go?

Maybe watching my Blakey do this -

He kept saying "mom, look it's a snowman!" Still a little unclear on the difference between a snowman and just plain snow.

And here's my eldest trying to convince himself that he really does like the orange he's eating. It was a bit tart.

Merry Christmas to Me

I hear angels singing. Seriously. I finally got a new dining room table. For a year, we have been living with three chairs to our table. There are four people in our family. Now I have a great table (with no tire tracks from toy cars) and eight beautiful chairs - that all match.
Again - I hear angels sing. I'm so excited. I'm going to kiss my husband...again.

Merry Christmas to me.

**Thanks to my daddy for bringing it down in his truck. And thanks to my fam for the moral support in the choosing of the table.

Turkey Day

Happy late turkey day to everyone! We had a great one. Lots of food. We ventured up to my parents house for Thanksgiving weekend. We ate dinner at my Uncle Russ's house and it was fantabulous. I enjoyed each and every morsel that entered my mouth - the special punch my aunt Peggy made was delish. I got to spend time with my cute grandpa and see my aunts, uncles and cousins. I even found out that this cousin and this cousin have blogs I didn't know about. It was a grand old time. After eating my siblings and I decided to have a little karaoke party and played some Rock Band to finish off the evening. There's nothing like belting out some Whitney Houston to put you in the holiday mood - at least in my family!

crazy aunt hailey

gma jan and blakey

cutie patootie

blake had 5 scratches on his face

uncle richie and the boys

We hit the stores really early on Friday morning. OK it was actually 8 am but we still went. Ben and I got some great stuff - too bad we spent more money on fun things for us than on Christmas presents. Oh well, December is still young. We shopped, ate a yummy lunch and saw "Four Christmases". It was pretty funny - that Vince Vaugh cracks me up!
On Saturday we went out to dinner with with two fo my bestest friends and their husbands. This girl and this girl.

We really had a great weekend - thanks mom and dad for taking care of us so well. And thanks Hailey and mom for the babysitting. Love you all!

this was eli's favorite place - playing the wii

and this was blakey's - listening to music on daddy's headphones

dodgeball

eating cookies and eggnog with gpa

piggies for breakfast

Welcome to the familia, baby Grady

Grady
November 15, 2008
7 lbs. 4 oz.

Congrats Matt, Erica, Coop, Pain & Becks!

We love him already and can't wait to snuggle and smooch his little face!

Love and miss you all.

Borrowed Blog

My blogging brain has been on vacation, well actually my whole brain. I have not been able to piece together enough coherent thoughts to form a blog post. So, I have been searching for inspiration. My friend did not let me down. Here are some thoughts from Leisha:

"We are often asked where we are in the adoption process (which is definitely a process) but in all honesty, we are always in the process. If not officially approved and "waiting" we are always hoping and praying that our children will find their way to our family. That their birth mothers will have the strength and courage to first choose life and then choose adoption. That our family and friends all know that we are always open to adoption and that they will be adoption advocates. Not just for us, but for all of the families hoping to adopt and for all of those who find themselves or someone they love in a situation with an unplanned pregnancy.

We want adoption to be a
positive option.

Our adoption journey is just that a journey, one that we are always walking. One that we are always on. And we will be until we feel like our family is complete. We will constantly be hoping, dreaming, wishing and praying for
another miracle."

Thanks for saying it for me, Leisha.

I'm broken

"Why can't you have kids?"
"Because I'm broken."

That's what I want to say, but it tends to make people uncomfortable. So I launch into a long drawn out speech about how there is no definitive answer. It's not that I can't get pregnant, it's that I haven't, blah blah blah. I have some broken parts.

Some really irritating, underachieving parts.

For years I would wait every month for my "lady friend". Every month she would come faithfully to visit me, even when I didn't want her around. And every month I would feel broken all over again.

I donated my body to science (not really, but it felt like it). I peed on many sticks. Ovulation tests, pregnancy tests, and any other pee-on-it test there was. I was poked and prodded, much like a pin cushion. And internal ultrasounds - not fun, ever. Especially when your ovaries are in the wrong places.

All this confirmed that I was broken.

My insides don't work. I don't have eggs that fertilize. I don't have a uterus that holds a baby.

But I do have ears to hear my kids laugh. I do have eyes to watch them grow. I do have lips to kiss their faces off. I do have arms to hold them tight. I do have a heart that smiles when they yell "mommy". And I do have two babies that I wouldn't trade for all the unbroken parts in the world.

My girlie parts are broken.
My mommy parts are not.

I made it . . .

After driving for two hours in a snowstorm (is it January?) I finally made it to Good Things Utah. The show started a 10:00 and we were supposed to be in our seats by 9:30. I walked in at 10:02, remember people, two hours of drive time. I was afraid they wouldn't let me in. But with a few batted eyelashes and some major charm, the lady was smitten and let me pass. It was great. It would have been nice if the segment was longer than 2 minutes, but Mrs. R and Myra did a great job and the adoption word got out. I'm glad I went - snow, traffic and all. I had fun sitting in the crowd expressing the appropriate claps and woos.

I love adoption - just in case I haven't made it clear. I love the people I find through adoption. I got to meet this fun lady, a blogger/adoption friend/blog fixer, in person today. I also met this cute girl for the first time and this great lady, whose blog I have loved for a long time. They were so nice, they invited me to go to a yummy lunch at Five Guys - ever heard of it? Fabulous burgers and fries cut from Idaho Potatoes. It's tough to beat a tater from the gem state. So there I was, at lunch with a group of ladies I just met, and I couldn't have had a better time. I just might have to make a trip a up north and crash their craft night some day :)
Thanks girls! It was a great day!

Looking for Adoption Supporters

If anyone out there is looking for a way to help support adoption, I have a suggestion. (well I can't really take credit, as I found it on another blog, but that's beside the point). Add this link to your side bar.
itsaboutlove.org
You never know who could look on YOUR blog and be in a situation where they or someone they know are considering adoption. YOU could help a woman struggling with this decision. YOU could help a family like mine find their baby.

*don't forget to vote today!

GTU

Remember the other day when I said this lady was going to be on Good Things Utah, well I'm going up to watch the show! I'm so excited! It will be fun to be there while they are discussing adoption. Tomorrow - channel 4 - 10:00 am. set those tivos.

I really love this kid

Oh my little Blakey - how you entertain me. How you keep me on my toes and never let life be boring. Blake sleeps with about 10 blankets, 7 stuffed animals and various toys , depending on his mood. The toys range from books, a toy guitar, a volleyball, a basket of plastic food (referred to as his dinner), hokey-pokey elmo, a belt, a remote control, a shopping cart, and one night even two little chairs. The highlight of my night is going to check on Blake after he has fallen asleep. After we put him to bed, it takes him a long time to wind down and actually crash. Ben and I are always curious to see where and how he is sleeping. I have been saving up pictures of different nights to post and after tonight the time has come (especially since Ben is out of town and I have no one to laugh at this with). Remember he always starts out in his bed, in a clean room and in his jammies. It is rare, very rare that I find him in the same clothes I put on him. His favorite is to go "commando" when sleeping. Bedtime is always an adventure and I love his little quirky personality.

*most importantly notice in every picture that our good friend blanket is always close by.

*here are a few of my favorite poses:

tonight - bare naked with everything (even the pillowcase) on the floor with him

last thursday - the two chairs from his little table and his rug on his couch

last wednesday - on his couch with his guitar, church bag and other assorted treasures

last week - on his dresser/changing table snuggled away. i didn't think to worry until my mom pointed out he could have fallen off.

on the rocking chair with half of the clothes from his dresser

sitting indian style at the head of the bed - minus the pillow

in eli's closet wearing his monkey backpack

here's a quick pic of my oldest son - can you find him?
*hint: look under the bed - dead asleep

All Hallow's Eve

At our house, Friday was a very exciting day. The boys practiced their trick-or-treating all day - and I mean all day! We went to our ward's trunk-or-treat and then came home and set off to do some major candy damage in the neighborhood. Eli was giving his own candy out to kids that would come by and Blakey was so freaked out by everyone that he was mute for the evening. We had fun and I even surprised (embarrassed) Ben by being dressed up when he came home from work.

my cute little pirate and his chicken brother

blakey literaly ran around like a chicken with his head cut off - ha!

Yippee for November

November is National Adoption Month! How exciting. I will be posting even more about adoption than usual this month, just because I can. I am excited to spread the word. On Wednesday Nov. 5 at 10:00 am on Channel 4 (in Utah), mrs. r will be on Good Things Utah talking about adoption - so tune in if you can. I also think this is a fabulous time for everyone out there to ask questions about adoption. I love November!

Happy Birthday to my Benji

Ben's birthday was Saturday. He woke to presents and festivities he never could have imagined (well really just balloons and streamers - but they were big balloons). We had very yummy waffles and piggies (sausage) - yes Ben made it, but I offered and was told that he "likes to cook breakfast". We painted pumpkins that my mom bought for the boys. Then Ben, my dad and my little brother Riley headed off to the BYU football game. Meanwhile, my mom and I headed off to the mall. When we all met up again, we had a fantastic dinner at Sakura. I mean fantastic. Everyone gave it an A+. We had a fabulous chef and my kids were very entertained. I have never seen them both eat so much. Blakey kept saying "I need that steak, mom!" and Eli yelled "whoo-hoo" every time the chef did anything (including put food on his plate). We came home and loaded my new washer and dryer in the house and surprised Ben with a Heath Bar ice cream cake from Dairy Queen. Then we watched Iron Man and all crashed. Whew! It was an awesome day and I hope my favorite guy had a good time! It was fun to have my family here to help celebrate - thanks for coming!

Happy Birthday, babe - I love you so much!!

hmm...water or pop? tough choice, why not both!

the volcano of fire surprised blake and riley

the fam

i know blake looks really creepy here