TV Quote of the Day (‘Mad Men,’ on Inferior Ad Submissions)

[Two ad firm partners are discussing the portfolio of a spouse’s cousin.]

Don Draper [played by Jon Hamm]: “His book.” [Chuckles] “It was filled with old ads.”

Roger Sterling [played by John Slattery]: [Chuckles] “Plagiarism. That's resourceful.”

Don: “He had five originals. There were all the same thing.”

Roger: “I told him to be himself. That was pretty mean, I guess.”—Mad Men, Season 4, Episode 6, “Waldorf Stories,” original air date Aug 29, 2010, teleplay by Brett Johnson and Matthew Weiner, directed by Scott Hornbacher

Quote of the Day (Alexander Waugh, on His Solutions for UK Problems)

“My proposed solutions to the various problems which beset the country are intended as suggestions to be thrown around in the various clubs, clubs and dining rooms. If the Government adopted even a tenth of them, catastrophe would surely result.”—English newspaper columnist, historian, and composer Alexander Waugh (1963-2024), Fathers and Sons: The Autobiography of a Family (2004)

Movie Quote of the Day (‘8½,’ on a Director’s Initial Idea for a Film)

Writer [played by Jean Rougeul] [to Guido, on the director’s latest project]: “You see, what stands out at a first reading is the lack of a central issue or a philosophical stance. That makes the film a chain of gratuitous episodes which may even be amusing in their ambivalent realism. You wonder, what is the director really trying to do? Make us think? Scare us? That ploy betrays a basic lack of poetic inspiration.”— 8½ (1963), screenplay by Federico Fellini, Tullio Pinelli, Ennio Flaiano, and Brunello Rondi, directed by Federico Fellini

I burst out laughing the first time I saw Fellini’s classic and heard these lines. I couldn’t help but think that the director heard similar advice from a scribe as he struggled with his own case of writer’s block in creating this movie.

A director struggling with writer’s block who ends up making a film about a director with the same issue. Hmm…sounds self-referential. Not unlike the felt hat that Fellini’s film stand-in, Marcello Mastroianni, wears, almost as if to say, “Guess who all this is about—kind of?”

Quote of the Day (Robert Buckland, on the ‘Armageddon’ Facing UK Conservatives)

“The Conservatives are facing Armageddon. It's going to be like a group of bald men fighting over a comb.”—Former British Lord Chancellor Robert Buckland, predicting in a BBC interview a tumultuous Conservative leadership battle after the party’s landslide loss last week, quoted by Lucy Fisher, “Recriminations Begin After ‘Devastating’ Defeat,” The Financial Times, July 6-7, 2024

This official portrait of Robert Buckland was taken Jan. 12, 2020, by Richard Townshend. Notice that Buckland is smiling. That’s because this was 4½ years before he’d lose his seat in Parliament. 

If he’s smiling these days, it’s sardonically, before he launches the kind of quip that caught my eye above.

I’m sorry, folks, but as soon as I read Buckland’s sound bite above, I started laughing and haven’t stopped since.

But I’m afraid that not too many other Conservatives are in the mood for merriment these days. Except for copyright reasons, I would have used an electoral map showing a massive dash of red (associated with the Labour Party) over the U.K.

Nothing loosens tongues, and loyalties, like the prospect of losing big. The Conservatives are amid this process now, and America’s Democrats are similarly vulnerable after Joe Biden's disastrous performance in his first debate with Donald Trump.

Let’s see whether the Democratic or British “comb” turns out to be more useful in the end.

TV Quote of the Day (‘Perry Mason,’ With a ‘Friendly Personal Tip’ to the Police)

Perry Mason [played by Raymond Burr]: “Tragg, I think you'll find that particular weapon has little or no significance.”

Police Lt. Arthur Tragg [played by Ray Collins]: “What do you mean by that?”

Perry: “I'm just giving you a personal friendly tip, that's all.”

Tragg: “Well, thanks. I could hardly hold down my job without your friendly personal tips, Perry!”—Perry Mason, Season 3, Episode 18, “The Case of the Singing Skirt,” original air date Mar. 12, 1960, teleplay by Jackson Gillis based on characters created by Erle Stanley Gardner, directed by Arthur Marks

Quote of the Day (O. Henry, on One Advantage of a Low Salary)

“My salary as bookkeeper in the hardware concern kept at a distance those ills attendant upon superfluous wealth.” —American short-story writer William Sidney Porter, aka O. Henry (1862-1910), “Confessions of a Humourist,” in Waifs and Strays: Twelve Stories (1917)

Quote of the Day (Leland Gregory, on Charles Barkley’s Claim About Being Misquoted)

“Charles Barkley of the Phoenix Suns claimed that he was misquoted in a book about his life and career. The book was his autobiography.”— Author and former Saturday Night Live writer Leland Gregory, on former NBA great and current TV analyst Charles Barkley, in Hey, Idiot!: Chronicles of Human Stupidity (2011)

Quote of the Day (H. L. Mencken, Defining ‘Celebrity’)

“A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know.” —American editor, columnist, and philologist H. L. Mencken (1880-1956), A Mencken Chrestomathy: His Own Selection of His Choicest Writing (1949)

TV Quote of the Day (‘Succession,’ on Rich People in Jail)

[On a Presidential campaign ad he’s paid for, Connor Roy, scion of a filthy-rich family, has just announced that he won’t pay taxes, even if it means going to jail—a prospect that horrifies half-sister Shiv.]

Siobhan (Shiv) Roy [played by Sarah Snook]: “Connor, you know what they do to rich people in jail.”

Connor Roy [played by Alan Ruck, pictured]: “Yes, they let them out early to mitigate the risk of litigation.”— Succession, Season 2, Episode 3, “Hunting,” original air date Aug. 25, 2019, teleplay by Jesse Armstrong and Tony Roche, directed by Andrij Parekh

Quote of the Day (Shirley Hazzard, on a Party Hostess)

“Evie had slanting eyes, and a flushed, pretty face. She was wearing a shiny brown dress, and her hair bubbled down her back in fair, glossy curls. She had an impulsive way of embracing people, of holding them by the hand or the elbow, as though she must atone for any reticence on their part with an extra measure of her own exuberance—or as though they would attempt to escape if not taken into custody.”—Australian-American fiction writer and essayist Shirley Hazzard (1931-2016), Collected Stories (2020)

(This photo of Shirley Hazzard was taken by Christopher Peterson at the Mercantile Library Center for Fiction's Annual Benefit and Awards Dinner, held at the New York Tennis and Racquet Club at 350 Park Avenue, in New York, on Oct. 29, 2007.)