Ben is studying for his finals right now, so I decided to share some thoughts I have been having as of lately. Life is just amazing...It can be so hard but yet so rewarding.
I have a favor to ask of all of you....Ben is wanting to go to school during the summer, but he hasn't been admitted to the summer program, but we are hoping that there will be someone who decides to drop out. So I would like all of you to pray for Ben to be able to go to school this summer because he really really wants to finish sooner (December 2010 instead of May 2011) and he is very motivated to finish. We both want me to be able to stay home with this little one and for me, I feel so strongly that I need to stay at home and be a mom. I have this big fear that if I don't stay home with my little girl that I won't be able to communicate with her since the babysitters will probably talk with her verbally. It is very important to me to have my baby to communicate with me and I just feel so strongly that the best way to accomplish that is to have me stay home. I already struggle with communicating with others and I don't want that struggle between me and my child. So, sorry....I'm selfish and want Ben to be done with school. All the prayers you can give will be wonderful. But whatever Heavenly Father's will is...I will accept, I know he will provide a way for us.
We are thinking about moving out of this apartment and moving into a better maintained apartment. As horrible as this is, we applied for government assisted housing and hopefully we'll get approved. I feel stupid, but the conditions in this apartment worries me... the carpet is falling apart and I don't know how clean it is. I feel so germ-phobic but I worry about Baby Curtis crawling around grabbing gobs of carpet and eating it. The apartment is heated by baseboard heaters and I worry about her getting her hands stuck in those...I know...sorry if any of you roll your eyes at me and think...oh bother...she's going too far, but I do have those concerns and have to follow my instincts.
Anyway....I need to go to bed right now since I work at 8 tomorrow morning. I hope all is going well with each and every one of you. I wish I could communicate better with most of you. Have a wonderful day!
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7 comments:
Chennelle, You guys will definitely be in my prayers! Also, I don't blame you a single bit for wanting to move to a more updated apartment, nor will I ever think ill of you for applying for subsidized. There's nothing wrong with wanting the best for your family. Let us know if there's anything we can do to help.
You are amazing and I think you communicate perfectly! I love reading your words, you always have the spirit with you. We will pray that Ben will be able to attend school this Fall. I hope you are able to find another place to live as wee (But you have to stay in the ward:) J/k...I would just hate to see you go but you are right...you don't want to worry about baby Curtis getting into anything that might harm her. You are going to be an outstanding mom!
I know it will all work out for you Chennelle! When I had Jaden it shouldn't have worked out for me to be able to stay home but the Lord really blessed us with many things that made it possible and I know he will do the same for you and Ben! You are going to be an amazing Mom!
Chennelle, FUN for me to run across your blog!! My, my, now you're a MiaMaid leader and soon to be mom. Boy, time flies. I'm proud of you. You are an inspiration to many!! I think of you often and have TONS of wonderful memories that include you!!! Hugs & Kisses!!!
Chennelle,
Don't every apologize or worry about asking people to pray so you can stay at home with your little child. If they can't understand why you want too, they have a huge problem.
Hang in there, kiddo.
Don't think you are going too far worrying!! Every parent does. However, you will find that as your family gets bigger, you will not worry as much about the little things. :) You will probably look back and wonder why you worried about some things, but I think that you have some very valid concerns. Love ya!
Definitely in our prayers :) I totally condone you wanting to stay home with baby, I do it and think it is really important without the sorry of communication problems. Babies are really great learners and I am sure your's will grow up able to communicate with you and the rest of the world. Be brave and hang in there. You know what is best for you and your baby, and I am glad to see you have the support you need to do what you feel is right.
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