Coming home.........

This post was sort of written in my head last night on my way home from Norwich.  Those of you that read my blog regularly will know of the loss of my dearest friend last year. So by the wonders of modern technology (and some good old fashioned sleuthing... well new fangled cyber-sleuthing to be more accurate) I found the details of his interment service yesterday at his Cathedral.

My first inclination was, in all honesty, not to go. It's a long way and the few internet entries I had read had suggested in would be a short service, and to be frank the last time I was in a church was Bishop Michael's funeral, and quite possibly the time before that was his Ordination as Bishop (ooh no, I'm missing out the Chrism Mass last year - but anyway you get my point!).  But as time went on and I thought about it, I realised that this was one of those times when you really do need to get up off your lazy *ahem* and be in a place that you know will feel right.  One of those things that if you go and don't (not enjoy - that's the wrong word, but you know what I mean) you have lost nothing, but to sit at home and wish you had been there - well that's an opportunity you'd never get again. And as I had been kind of scouring the internet looking for details my head told me that at least some part of me was interested enough to want to go.

So, train details were gleaned and I set my alarm for 5:45  on a Saturday morning (this in itself is quite an event worth blogging about - I'm rarely up before 8, and a little more often than is probably wise to admit to, not up til 9!)

Now the thing is, that having been to the funeral, and the committal I wasn't quite sure of the purpose of being at this service, but assumed I'd get the message when I got there - And yes,  I think I did. You see to me (and possibly wrongly, but we are all allowed our thoughts and interpretations aren't we?) This was completing the circle, this was my dear friend FrM coming home. I had been to his ordination and his funeral at the cathedral, and the last thing I really saw was him being carried out of it .... this was him returning home to his place of rest. Where I can always go and find him if I need. His ashes are interred at the base of the icon of St Felix, in the chapel of the Saints at the east end of the Cathedral, and truthfully when I heard that during the service the biggest smile broke out that I had no control over. Not only because St Felix was the first Bishop of the East Angles, but more because his name....... Joy, Happy. FrM's message was always of the Joy of God.

I thought this would be my last visit to Norwich, it was what I had geared myself up for. But it won't be. A part of me will always also feel at home there, in the place where my friend became part of an amazing family. I, too, have met new friends and people who share memories of Fr M.  We had great fun at lunch after the service discussing various memories and learning about the "different ages" of FrM and the different ways we had grown to love this strange little man. So, coming home?..... a final resting place, a place of comfort, or a place in your heart where memories and love will always reside? One, some or all of the above.............

Bishop Michael Evans - RIP 1951 - 2011

Oh dear, I have no idea how to write this, but know that I must. I need to write for me, to begin to put all my thoughts in some kind of comprehensive order (there's a first time for everything)

Firstly, the photo. I have chosen this photo specifically of my dear friend. Because, although he was a Bishop, a priest, a vice-rector, a school chaplain, He was to me, a friend. I can't say just an ordinary friend because there was nothing ordinary about this man. But he was a friend.

(Here's one that's not quite so ordinary)

(Now half an hour later as I got side-tracked reading old emails between us whilst looking for those photos! - memo to self: Back up those emails!!)

So whilst all the other obituaries are about a Bishop (which is as it should be) this one is about a friend.  Fr Evans was our school chaplain in my senior school, and although I was not (and am not still) a Catholic, i was welcomed, as were all pupils, to participate in Mass as much as possible. Fr Evans wanted us all to feel so much part of the family that he had permission to bless loaves of bread for those of us who were not Catholic to be able to share some of the meaning of Mass. He joined the school the year after I started in the senior school, and i can remember a shift in the way the masses felt (with no disrespect meant to Fr Watts who had preceeded him) He brought the warmth of Taizé with him, and a way of connecting with young people and trying to make them part of the mass. He changed the focus from something we watched happen, to something we became part of - all of us, Catholics and non Catholics alike. The name of our denomination didn't matter, what mattered was whether we wanted to be part of celebrating God in our lives.

I played the guitar at school, and as there were not many of us that did, I was soon made encouraged to join the folk group (which i ended up leading for 2 years - not bad for someone that can't sing!)  This musical interlude gave me reason to have many meetings with Father Evans, and we soon became firm friends (despite his annoyance at my desire to massacre play "Answer me this mystery" at every mass and assembly possible)  His office door was always open, his kettle was always on (although we had to find our own milk!) and he even had biscuits. Particularly in my 6th form years it became a haven, a peaceful room to get away from teachers and noise (and work!). Filled with floor cushions and a tiny desk in the corner. And a tape player which always had Shostakovitch on when you entered and Chris de Burgh or Meatloaf on by the time you left! (Although there were sometimes compromises with John Michael Talbot, or Rondo Veneziano, or Barber's Adagio for Strings, which still sends goosebumps up my arms!) There was always (well ok "almost always") a smile waiting, and if you wanted to talk, pray, sit in silence, or just rant.... all were acceptable.  There was never any pressure. Father Evans brought the love of God to us, but it was placed before us, as if on a plate, it was up to us to take it and devour it if we chose.

As time went on and i left school we stayed in touch. Meeting as often as work allowed for pub meals or visiting him at St Johns Seminary where he was Vice-rector. He then moved to South London as a University Chaplain, then back to Wonersh seminary then to Tunbridge Wells, and finally to East Anglia. So visits became fewer, but we have written regularly (in fact when i was looking for those photos earlier I realised we have written I'd say every 8 weeks or so, for all those last 25 odd years (I'm not counting the years at school, I don't want to give away my age too closely! :-)  )  Despite his illness in the last 6 years, and his unbelievable schedule. He has still written regularly, and remembered birthdays, and sent Christmas cards with handwritten personal messages and "words of wisdom" And i've been for a couple of visits up to Norwich to see him in his proper surroundings!  For his ordination as Bishop, I bought him a small digital camera, and was suitably rewarded with so many photos and shared memories. That was another thing about Fr M, whatever you gave, you got back in abundance!

I read this back and it's so little of the memories I have. I cannot begin to summarise them, . - Rain dances in the sixth form garden and going and covering FrM's office in tiny bits of white blossom (it looked like someone has shaken three boxes of confetti over the room), he wasn't impressed (although we did see a smile or two hiding behind the stern look!) The hottest most garliciest (is that a word?!) Chille con carne in a pub in Bramley during a retreat weekend.  Someone trying to escape the retreat weekend out of the window to go to the aforementioned pub, and every time her feet hit the ground a torch light would come on, and that slow unmistakeable voice "Yes?". (Seriously, how DID he know?!)  Our first culinary experiences/experiments at Maryvale on retreat as we 16 year olds tried to cook for 10 or so people (not always terribly successfully, but always with enthusiasm). The films, and candlelit masses,Taizé chants, the pansy, the broken guitar strings and bad harmonies, the wrong songs in the wrong places, signed retreat books (they must've taken an age to compile in a Pre-PC age!), folk group practices, Wednesday evening healing Masses, stroppy teenagers, curries and afternoon teas, his little blue ford fiesta (often laden with 6th formers and a distinct smoke filled interior). But always, always that twinkling smile in his eyes. That deeply peaceful persona.

(I have, since I originally wrote this, been reminded of August 10 2009, Fr M's 58th birthday. - I asked him if he would please spend 10 minutes at a particular spot in his garden, which is a place we had sat together a few weeks earlier, and that I in turn would sit on Newlands Corner, looking out over Wonersh (ish) and we would be together at evening prayer, sort of! - He wrote to me that evening that he had indeed done my bidding but had been sidetracked on his return indoors by some weeds in the lawn which he had taken objection to, and had spent the best part of an hour hand-picking out! - Much as the title of this post is Rest in Peace, I'm thinking strictly between he and I that resting is the last thing Fr M would want heaven to be - and he probably already has it organised in alphabetical order sub-divided by height or some such)


Someone who must have known Fr M very well, wrote on Twitter "May he rest in peace, in the prescence of his Aslan."

The Last Battle: C.S.Lewis
 And as He spoke He no longer looked to them like a lion; but the things that began to happen after that were so great and so beautiful that I cannot write them.  And for us this is the end of all the stories, and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all the adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last the were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on forever: in which every chapter is better than the one before.

I maintain that Fr M gave me my smile. He taught me how to be peaceful and happy in the very heart of myself, and there is no greater gift.

Enjoy your next journey my dear, dear friend, it deserves to be an amazing one. xx

I is Soooo lucky (Part 2)

Well this post is a little weird to write - a bit out of my comfort zone, and a bit more personal than I normally am, but hey, you're all friends, right?

Last Wednesday, MrNoo took me all the way to Norwich to go to the Chrism Mass, at Norwich Cathedral.  The reason we travelled all that way, instead of going to a local service, is that the Bishop in question is a very good friend of mine. And the reason that it was important to go, is that he really shouldn't have been there.

You see Bishop Michael Evans (as you will find if you google him) has prostate cancer, and has had for 5 years or so, and in December when his pain levels increased significantly, he was told he probably only had a few weeks left to live..... Three months later, a little frailer, a lot more tired, and still with a smile on his face, he celebrated Chrism Mass in his cathedral....... and I was there!!


I'm an Anglican, but went to a Catholic school. And whilst I do call myself a Christian, I am by no means a good one. (In fact somewhat embarrassingly the last Mass I went to was Bishop Michael's ordination 8 years ago)  The Catholic church has always welcomed me though, and I love it's warmth and joy, the very essence of what believing in God should be about. (to my mind anyway)

Anyway, my religious preferences are not really the issue here. More is how the evening progressed. We arrived with half an hour to spare before Mass started, thinking we would find a quiet out of the way corner somewhere where no one would notice us! Not so much! The Cathedral was rammed, almost all seats already taken, so we took what we could and tried to blend into the background a bit! Not long after we arrived there was a little hymn practice, and it was announced that Bishop Michael would indeed be taking the Mass.......... the Cathedral immediately erupted into spontaneous applause, which seemed to last for such a wonderfully long time. We had a quick hymn practice, and were commended on our voices (not mine it must be said! but the congregation as a whole) and then the Mass started, with the priests and deacons from all the parishes in East Anglia coming down the centre aisle..... and there started the most wonderful, peaceful, joyful, way to spend an hour and a half. So many smiles, so much warmth and love. The Mass was celebrated, and the congregation were invited to stay for tea/coffee and hot cross buns..... I mean really, can you ask for anything more? LOL   MrNoo and I stayed for a short while, taking an opportunity to walk round the now quiet Cathedral, which is just such a beautiful place, and I have to say if ever you visit Norwich is certainly worth a quiet half hour. We both marvelled at the intricacy, the majesty and the beauty of such a fantastic building.

This Mass had been so important to Bishop Michael, he had set it as a milestone that he really wanted to reach, and I have to say I am...... (I want to say surprised, but that's not the right word, cos I happen to know he has a little streak of determination, erring on the side of stubbornness) but anyway, I am so pleased for him that he made his first milestone (He reliably informs us he has more!) There had been a few mentions of this upcoming mass on his website and as soon as became more than a vague possibility that he would make it, MrNoo and I decided that we should make all efforts to be there to share the evening.

So, I am soooo lucky that I have a partner, that despite not sharing my beliefs, understands and loves me enough to know how important they are to me, and will drive me 2 1/2 hours each way to spend an hour in a cathedral. and, just to make me feel better, will even tell me he enjoyed it!

I am so lucky and so blessed, that I can call this inspirational Bishop a friend, who has been there for me for nearly 30 years now, who has been my priest, my mentor, and my dearest friend. I am going to miss him so very much, when the inevitable happens. But he has taught me to believe in the Resurrection, and in everlasting life........... the very message of Easter.

Happy Easter everyone.  - Love Noo xx

Having Hope - Having Faith

 

I've had this yarn for ages - 2 skeins of Bushcraft that I bought in the early days of the Yarn Yard.  When n sold this yarn she donated £1 from every skein to the Everyman Cancer charity, and that is a charity close to my heart in the last couple of years.  After staring at it in my stash for the best part of 2 years, finally the perfect pattern came to light.

Having Hope was designed by Diane Mulholland, and the pattern is being sold in aid of Cancer Research.  (It's also available on ravelry here)  

These have been knitted for a birthday present for a very special friend of mine, and there are a thousand reasons why this has all worked well right now.

Friends!

Aren't friends just the most wonderful and precious gift?

As you know I spent Tuesday with a very dear friend in Norwich. It was such a lovely day, filled with smiles, a little sunshine, and a lot of love. We talked, sat quietly, walked in the garden, and sat by a pond watching damsel flies. Although a Bishop now, I first met Fr Evans, as he was to us girls then, when I was 14 and in the third year at Senior school. He was our school Chaplain, and although wasn't at school full time, could often be found in his little office, with copious supplies of coffee and biscuits... and a tape deck which could be found to be playing anything from Schostakovitch (his choice) to Chris de Burgh (ours !! and I might add before the days of Lady in Red!!!) I am not a Catholic, but as we attended a Catholic school we were expected to attend Mass on days of obligation..... and one such day the sermon has made so much sense to me in my troubled state of being 14, that I went and knocked on his office door some time later to talk about it, and a lifetime of friendship was born. The backbone of the friendship was indeed the spiritual teaching that any Priest will give, but brought to a group of rebellious/hormone stricken teenage girls with such care and thought for how life was for us at that difficult age. He taught us to be passionate about our beliefs, whatever they were.... to listen with our hearts and never to judge, and those were rules he lived his life by as our Chaplain.

As years have gone by our friendship has remained strong.... we don't get to see each other often, but when we do we easily lapse into the quiet, serene company that has always been our way.

... and so you see this man has not only taught me about faith, and belief and trust.... but he has also taught me how to be a friend (although I sadly fall short of his measure, but I try!)... and also he has shown me what to look for in a friend. One that listens with an open heart, and never judges........

I am the luckiest girl around.... I have friends in blogland, on forums and "in person" who all seem to live their lives by these values. On my Poultry forum a fairly new member has just had surgery, and to see the effort and love that has gone into supporting him and his young family through the last couple of weeks has been an honour to be part of. On the crafty forum there is so much support for so many things and all done with such love and goodwill, and throughout blogland I have seen so many instances of friends rallying round to support someone who needs to hear some words of comfort, often people they have never met in real life.

So I want to take this time to thank you all for being my friends, and to thank your friends in turn for being there for you. The world would be a sad and lonely place without you all, and I cherish each and every one of you. x

Special Friend's Birthday & lovely dinner

So firstly, it is a very special friend's birthday today. A friend that has been around in my life since I was a teenager (ooooh so long ago!) and had a huge influence on the person I am now. I don't think he reads this, so I can be as schmaltzy as I like!!! I know he's going through a rough patch right now, and so I send all the love my tiny heart can muster, for a special birthday and strength on his journey.


_________________________________________________________

I am cooking veggie lasagne at the mo, and I was just wondering for all you cooks out there - how much do you like your own cooking?? I lurve mine!!!!!! (sad but true!) When OH cooks he often gets "over it" before it's served if you know what I mean. I guess the smell of it cooking and the effort means he feels like he's eaten it already!!! - Now me, ooooh I'm a different kettle of fish altogother! - I can now smell my veggie lasagne basting in half a bottle of red wine, with lashings of parmesan on top and it's driving me mad!!! - I have another 10 mins to wait til it's cooked and despite treating myself to a glass of red to savour the waiting moment it's not happening! - Screw the wine - I want the dinner!!!!!