Pregnancy
20 weeks
After waiting 6 years for this experience, sure I was sooo ready for this, I've learned that I had NO IDEA what to expect and my pregnancy has been completely different than anything I expected. So far, these aspects of pregnancy have kinda thrown me for a loop:
Anxiety - About everything I'm going to list below. It's hard to trust my body after 6 years of failure, to suddenly know what to do to grow a baby. I'm constantly worried about being 'normal' or at least healthy.
The sickies - Haven't really had them. In fact, I've felt great! But when you expect to be sick and you're not, it leads to lots of worry about being 'broken' or not normal.
Bodily fluids - NO.ONE. I mean NO.ONE. ever talked about this wonderful aspect of being with child. Had I had some warning, my pre-existing phobia of bodily fluids might have kept me away a little longer. Just ask Jon. It's really fun.
Fatigue - I've actually enjoyed this part of pregnancy. It was especially nice after our whirlwind trip home to be able to sleep all day with no strings attached! ;) Except now that I've hit the 20 week mark, a full nights sleep seems to evade me, despite the fatigue. I guess that's good training for having a newborn.
Smells - This is what gave my pregnancy away to me. I'd felt all the other symptoms before, but when I couldn't handle the smell of my husband any longer, I knew something was up! :) My nose was on hyper-over-drive! Thankfully it's simmered down since entering the 2nd tri.
Self-centeredness - When my hormones were really raging during the first tri, I really didn't care what I said or who I offended. Jon even told me I was being mean to people one day. I knew he was right, and didn't care! Thankfully, that's also calmed a bit too.
Another aspect of this would be how I've wanted to keep a lot of it to myself - like waiting to tell people and keeping it secret for so long. It's been a double edged sword though because I know so many people have been on this crazy ride with us and also deserve some sort of closure, but I've wanted it to be just 'our' experience at the same time. Make sense?
Numb butt - I used to make fun of my sis-in-law Nikki when she was pregnant cause she always complained about a numb butt. Well, karma is fair and so now my bum and left leg go numb quite often. A pregnancy massage did help temporarily though.
Hair growth - While this has been great on my head and for my fingernails, I really could do without having to shave my legs, armpits, and bikini line twice a week!
Cravings - Haven't had them. Nothing weird or out of control. No midnight runs to Taco Bell for Jon. Nothing.
Movement - This could include so many things, like how happy I was in the first tri to even have a BM, but what I really love about 'movement' is feeling baby move inside me. The first time was surreal, the next unbelievable, and every time after that brings an instant smile to my face. I can't wait til she starts punching and kicking Jon!
Protectiveness - Not necessarily toward my baby, but toward those I know who are dying to have this experience. The other week in church someone made a comment in RS along the lines of "those of us who are mothers, truly know how hard it would be to sacrifice a son" and my immediate reaction was to flinch and become defensive. Because those of us who don't have kids just can't possibly understand it?!??! I was mad! I instantly wanted to wrap my arms around the ladies I knew in the room who struggled with infertility. I hope I/we all can be a little more sensitive.
That's about it, thus far. I do just have to say though, is it really appropriate for my Dr to have a super skinny (like size 0) assistant greet you at every appointment, have you follow her perfectly trimmed waist, arms and legs to the back, and ask you to step on the scale? All while your butt, hips, and waist have happily left their previously content size and expanded to something 6 times the size of hers? I was half-tempted to ask her to step on the scale for me and I'm not sure I'm all that excited to see her again in 4 weeks. Isn't there a book about that? Skinny b*$ch? ha ha. Wish I could say I'm kidding. :)
12 comments:
I love reading this post. I love that your have a little girl growing inside of you. I love that you're still fierce and protective of others.
It was fun to read about your 1st tri and your attitude. I spent tri 3 torturing everyone around me. I'm not sure why Kjel stuck it out. Seriously, he should have left. I was MEAN.
Oh Aly, I LOVE this post. I felt like I could just shake my head and say uh-huh. But I especially loved the nurse comment. My nurse was a SUPER young blonde skinny thing. She always smiled while she weighed me, I found myself having to pin my hands to my waist so I didn't smack her :)
And thanks for reminding us all about the mothers comments. I think we get stuck in our orb and can't imagine anyone else outside of it!
I'm so glad you get to experience all of that, even the ugly stuff. And you slipped in that "she" very casually. Yeah for girls!
I LOVE YOUR BELLY!!! You look so great with it! I had forgotten about the bodily fluids thing...but you're right. If you want to read an awesomely funny book about being pregnant, and the realities that come with it, go get The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy. Best book EVER!
That is so funny because I have been compaining about my "numb bum" all day. It is driving me nuts!!!!
I'm so happy for you Al! Congratulations! I love your post! So many joys and miseries of pregnancy! Made me laugh. Glad it is all going well for ya. And since you mentioned people not telling you stuff, let me give you a warning- I swear EVERYONE tells you stories of their pregnancy, labor and delivery, but no one warns you about after the delivery! If you have an epidural labor is a walk in the park after pregnancy, and THEN a couple days later, your milk comes in. Let me tell you, I wanted to die! No one had warned me about this at all and it was complete misery! I hope it's not as bad for you, but now you have been warned! Congrats again, can't wait to hear more!
Allison- YAY! I'm so so so happy for you guys! I don't know if you remember us, but huge Congrats on your pregnancy! That is such exciting news and you guys have waited so patiently! How lucky to have been to travel and see the world before it too!! Well, just wanted to drop you a message. I'm rarely on my blog anymore and if I am it is to update so I rarely get the time to check out anyone elses blogs! Good luck and I will look forward to checking in for upddates!!
you look fabulous!
congrats! what a wonderful surprise. you look great. so excited for you.
Love your baby bump Alyson! You need to read a book called Pregnancy Sucks! It is hilarious. Something you can now relate to! Congrats! I can't wait to see what is in store for you. Have you found out what you are having yet?
I love your posts! And this one took me back about to when I met you and was first pregnant. This is such a fun time!......enjoy! :)
You commented on Jen's blog and I thought I knew you and came and looked at your blog. In my first tri I found myself biting my tongue at the grocery store one day so that I would yell at some children that were annoying me. That is so not like me. I know exactly what you are talking about.
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