Asshat of the Day

John Feehery. Because, now that the Democrats have 60 voters, of course the metric system is the first item that Democrats will impose on an unwilling populace.

Proof There Is a God

And it's a benevolent god.

Damn You, Simon Cowell....

This sounds like quite possibly some of the worst music to come out in the not-too-distant future, even by American Idol standards: “I want to go rock — David Bowie and Queen, but make it more easy for people to get."

*Sigh*....I'll grant that, to this day, it's mind boggling how anybody could let a song like "Bicycle" enter into the public domain, but beyond that...

A) David Bowie was fine the way he was back in the 1970s and 1980s
B) There's a word for the kind of music you're describing - I believe the technical term is "a porta-potty's worth of absolute lowest common-denominator shit."
C) I gleefully know very little about current "pop" music, but I'm fairly certain, without even having heard Lady Gaga, that her producer will not be giving you that "David Bowie/Queen" sound.
D) Do you even know anything about David Bowie? Quick hint: there is no one David Bowie "sound".
E) It's "easier," not "more easy."

While We're Flogging the NY Times for Its Reporting....

The Times has put up a second article on the flooding in Brazil, accompanied on the second page of the report by the map seen here.....



.....too bad it's spelled "Rio de JanEIro, and not Rio de JanIEro.

Oops.

Well, This Should Be of Great Use to Self-Loathing Sadomasochistic Insomniacs (and Yankee Fans Who Also Hate Good Music)

In the summer of 2004, when I was working in retail-hell, I was subjected to Bernie Williams' CD for about a week. It was agony - I mean, absolute death-by-boredom. It magically made one hour feel like 17, and made the work day interminable. Mercifully, even the GM of the store, who had the absolute worst taste, thought it was too boring and awful to listen to beyond 7 days, and so I was able to close the door on a brief-but-dark period of my life.

But now, there's a new Bernie Williams CD? With guest appearances from Jon Secada and smooth jazz "great" Dave Koz? And a cliched cover of one of the more overrated Bruce Springsteen songs?

How can I resist?

Asshat Texan of the Day

State Rep. Betty Brown.

I don't know what I love more about this story: her insistence that, after saying Asian descendants' names are too hard to pronounce, she said Democrats were just trying to make it a "race issue" (cause, you know, blanket statements about people from a major part of the largest continent are not about race); or that she asked somebody who's last name is Ko if they couldn't just make their names "easier." Apparently, her intelligence level is such that a double-lettered, monosyllabic word is too difficult.

Go Texas! (Preferably, back to Mexico, though that's terribly unfair to Mexico).

h/t

Shorter Sarah Palin: "I should have the monopoly on getting fame and attention!"

If I were Levi Johnston (and words do not express the magnitude of how glad I am I'm not), I wouldn't be too worried about the Palins accusing me of undertaking "a quest for fame, attention, and fortune, are engaging in flat-out lies, gross exaggeration, and even distortion," about my relationship or anything else. Coming from the Palin camp, that sounds like a flat-out recognition of his political skills.

A Simple Proposal for Dealing with Alex Rodriguez

What with recent allegations first that his teammates called him "A-Fraud," and now the whole allegedly-clever nickname of "A-Roid," we should just all cut to the chase.

Therefore, I propose we just combine the two epithets and call Rodriguez "A-Freud." That way, we'll cover both bases, and if any daddy-issues pop up down the road, we'll have those taken care of too.

Obama a Deadhead?

Of all of the questionable decisions Obama has made prior to his inauguration, few have disturbed me quite as much as this. Even if they don't have time to jam, that is a terrible waste of an hour of live music.

Why Not Give Your Kids Ridiculous Names That Very Well Could Make Them Hate You More Than They Already Will?

Am I the only one who thinks it's perhaps a little inappropriate that Bristol Palin named her baby Tripp? I mean, one of the kid's grandmothers was just arrested and charged with 6 felony counts for drugs. And the kid's name is Tripp? Really? At least the giving of stupid names to children is officially a multi-generational tradition in the Palin family now.

And While We're on the Subject...

With 51 (yes - 51!!!) days left of the Bush administration, it's no big surprise at this point that he's completely out of touch with reality. Still, it is rather risible that Bush believes that "when people review the history of this administration, people will say that this administration tried hard to get a regulator", particularly following on the heels of reports to the opposite effect. And claims that he wants to be remembered for "achieving peace" would be funnier if his actions hadn't already cost such a large number of lives.

And just when you think even he can't outdo himself, Bush claims that "he would like to be remembered as a commander-in-chief who remained faithful to his values and 'did not sell his soul in order to accommodate the political process'." This from a man whose job as head of the executive branch was to work with the legislative branch in a little thing called "the political process." So just to be clear, he actually hopes to be remembered as a stubborn, bull-headed person who was repeatedly wrong on things like war, helping disaster victims, education, foreign policy, etc. because refused to participate in the "political process" and listen to the different ideas and opinions that entailed? And he believes this to be virtuous?

Even after 2,870 days of this stupid, despicable man, he still amazes me with the depths of his stupidity and willful ignorance.

Sarcastic "You're KIDDING!!" Moment of the Day

I'm shocked, SHOCKED, to learn that the Bush administration sat back and did nothing when warned about the possibility of an economic collapse tied to the housing-credit-banking mess! Inaction on the part of the Bush White House?? A standard without precedent!

Celebrities - the New Hippies When It Comes to Names

I'm all for trying to curb the overpopulation of the world, and I think not letting celebrities have kids is a great place to start. After all, if they're going to try to be all "cutesy" and "clever" by naming their kids after fruit or "Pilot inspektor" or, now, "Bronx Mowgli," then they clearly have nothing to contribut to humanity in terms of the gene pool. Honestly...how dumb do you have to be to not only name your kid after one of New York City's 5 boroughs (when neither of you ever even lived there), but to name it after the one that's home to the Yankees! Truly, celebrities should be among the first ones out of the gene pool.

Rightwing Nutjob Laugh Factory of the Day

Professor of Political Science at Grove City College (with the latter word bearing all the seriousness and earnestness of the "college" part of "Bible college")? Yeah, I don't think that will lead to laughable complaints about academia's role in the election of Obama, baseless-but-humorous biases against academia and intellectual communities, and fake concern-trolling for "diversity of ideas" or anything (but, to be fair, Grove City is not really a site of intellectual thought or diversity, so at least Kengor isn't a total hypocrite).

And the Marathon of Pundit Vacuity Has Begun

Some guy (I have no clue who) on CBS (I don't have cable) just pointed out that, with Liddy Dole's expected loss, this will be the first time in 50 years that there will be nobody named "Dole" or "Bush" holding a public national office. Ladies and gentlemen, we have an early contender for most "so what?" statement of the night.

Consider this an open thread on stupid punditry (or anything else) for the night.

Say What?

A buddy-cop TV show? Written by the guy who penned "Fuck tha Police"? Truly, the power of money to make one forget one's previous radical stances never ceases to amaze me.

Shorter Ralph Nader: Forget about Issues, I've Got Records to Set!!!

I don't know which is more embarassing/hilarious: that Nader wants this to show up in the Guinness Book of World Records (way to be concerned about the issues there, Ralph!), or that 2/3 of America is apparently unaware he's running again.


And people say he's only an egomaniac who is more concerned with himself than with any real establishment of a legitimate third party.....

So, Exactly What Kind of Questions IS Sarah Palin Good At Answering (Besides Scripted Questions)?

Of all the delightful parts of this story, there's one portion that leaves me confused:

A Palin associate defended her [over allegations she's "going rogue], saying that she is "not good at process questions" and that her comments on Michigan and the robocalls were answers to process questions.

Um....what the hell is a "process question?" Is it a question that was formed in a process in which Palin could never take part (and therefore not be prepared for the answer)? Is it a question that requires basic cranial processes to work normally? Just what is a "process question?"


Given how Palin's history of "answering" questions has played out over the last 2 months, it's hard to see "not being good at process questions" as anything other than a jargony euphemism for "she lacks the basic brain functions and/or mastery of the English Language necessary to answer simple questions." And when your own "associates" are saying that, that's not a good sign.

Shorter Sarah Palin: Making Alaska Pay for My Kids' Flights Also Is Not a Breach of Ethics!

If a report my home-state's legislature issued had already found me guilty of a breach of ethics in public office (despite my flat-out lie that the report said I wasn't guilty), I don't think I'd really be billing my home-state for my kids' flight expenses on PR jaunts around the country. After all, I'm pretty sure that 7-year-old Piper Palin is not conducting any "official state business" by attending hockey games or anything.

Quick Political Snark

As regular readers to our blog must be aware by now, Obama's latest supporter is clearly racist.